Tumgik
#thank you for sending me the not-a-threat ily
iwaasfairy · 7 months
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┌─ “ ! „ MAGNESIUM
tw. noncon, blood, branding/marking, some pretty egregious dirty talk and degradation, threats, mirror sex, horror elements, knife play, manipulation, murder, little bit of gore, there be a dead body in here somewhere wordcount. 6.3k
a/n. ♡ commissioned by a lovely lovely person whomst im so grateful for ♡ i reallyyy liked writing sakusa a lot so i hope you like it and it is what you hAd IN MINDDD!! this was such a fun commission thank yoUU a ton seriously! mwUah ♡♡♡ i hopeee you enjoy!!! kiSsES once again a million million kisses to everyone who helped read through it when i was struggling you're the bestest ilY
sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader
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It’s almost impossible to believe that everything led up to - this. You’re slumped against the car door in the back, and though you’re not knocked out, you sort of wish you were. Instead you have to feel the hard glare Kiyoomi sends you through the rear view mirror each time his eyes flick up as he reverses out of the street. There’s tension so thick that you can’t just cut it, but it’s troubling the air between you two like polluted water. Silence drags on until you wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to warm up.
“Where are we going?” You whisper. 
The man in front smoothly turns the corner, as an almost impalpable furrow moves his brow. It takes him too long to answer for your liking, as you shuffle in the leather seat, unable to get comfortable. “I don’t like fighting with you, but you always push me.” The dry tone and answer says everything his eyes can’t. “Tonight pissed me off, you know? I’m not ever gonna let you go.”
“All this because Atsumu complimented me?” You try, and when that doesn’t get a reaction - not even a blink, your hands clamp together. “He’s like that to everyone. He was calling Hinata ‘real handsome’ all evening.” Nothing. The Kiyoomi you fell in love with was a bit sarcastic and clumsy in his words, but he wasn’t ever cruel. Wasn’t ever purposefully standoffish. What seems left of him is only the brittle, icy void. You would’ve been better off breaking up days ago.
He also would’ve given the blond the benefit of the doubt.
You can basically feel the smile shine off of your face closing the billowing curtains against the golden light, looking back at the dark-haired beauty splayed out over your bed. You clear your voice. “So what’s the deal with your teammate- that Miya guy?” Kiyoomi’s brow raises a few millimeters. “He’s serious? He’s really like that all the time?”
“The whole flirtatious act?” Your boyfriend yawns into the question, before rolling over so that his muscular shoulders, pecks, and that pretty waist are even more distracting. It’s infuriating how good he looks. But you nod, and place yourself down on the edge - where he trails a lazy hand over the back of your hand. “Oh, yeah. He has this overflowing… charisma that you can’t help but get used to, and learn to appreciate.” He chuckles when you frown. “He drives me up the wall. But he’s a good guy.”
“Hmm?” Your pout is instantly enough to have him reaching around to pull you down onto him. “You’re not worried?”
You try to blink away tears, and stare out the window instead, at every light that flashes past. More to yourself than to him, you hiccup as you brush away the wobbly lines of heat down your cheeks. “You’ve been acting so— different.” He barely glances before turning too comfortably at the next lights, speeding up enough to make your chest feel tight. “I don’t know what’s happened, but I want you to go back to how you were.” That’s the only way you can put it. It’s like there’s nothing left.
Kiyoomi’s mouth corners drop at your confession, but he doesn’t speak. You’re not sure you want him to anyway. His free hand runs through his brushed back hair, long fingers sitting still against the steering wheel when they land. And they don’t move again as you sit in the quiet cold.
“Worried?” He repeats, calm expression changing into a grin. “Please, Miya fucking wishes.” You laugh when his lips start dragging down your pulse and he softly moans against you. “You’ve got way better taste than that. In neighbors - and,” his kisses get a little more hot and needy when his large hands glide down your body to grab your ass and pull you closer, “in boyfriends- and in perfume— you smell sexy, ‘s that new?”
You giggle harder, can’t help but get flustered when he gets so touchy. “I’ll get an inflated ego if you compliment me so much.” He shrugs, and positions you better onto his broad chest. But still. “How don’t you get jealous? I’m pretty sure I would if the roles were reversed.” His dark hair is splayed out over the pillow when he drops his head back, and those pretty eyes flick over your face for a second, thinking.
“I do,” he eventually breathes, “but not because of you, and definitely not with Miya Atsumu.” When you start giggling again, he frowns. “I mean, truly- genuinely-” You snort, and he stares at you with an affronted look. “If you wanna run into the egotistical, bombastic, borderline- pathetic sunset with that guy, I might have to take a long, hard look at myself. Wonder what horrible traits you’re dating me for.” His eyes fall back to you when you take a deep breath, and he goes a little bit softer as you nuzzle up under his chin. “You wanna leave me for a shitty dye job?”
“I don’t think so,” you whisper back. He looks much too at ease in the comfort of your now shared apartment.
The silence that once felt so comfortable, now squeezes the life out of you with all it’s got. Only after a few minutes, Kiyoomi’s voice reaches out, and the shiver down your neck seems to screw the icy collar down tighter.
“Y’know, I hate how that Miya looks at you. Makes me want to carve his fucking eyes out.”
+
About a week into living in Tokyo, you decide it’s not all that bad. Hauling along the giant box of fresh veggies and two more bags of groceries, you can barely look over enough to watch the elevator open, and hasten your steps. “Hold the door, please! There’s no way I’m doing the stairs today,” you sigh, and watch as the doors ping. You slide in just in time, and a deep chuckle follows when your arms start slowly folding with the weight.
“That’s … some collection you’ve got there,” the deep voice continues, “did I miss the call on doomsday?”
You manage to turn yourself enough to see the pair of warm, obsidian eyes staring down at you - soft curly hair freshly wet from a shower. The eggplants and pumpkins in your box start rolling toward the edge, so you shift the box onto your side with a struggling smile. “No, I- I like to buy in big batches and pre-chop everything to freeze. I don’t really love cooking so… that way I save- some time while still…” You fall quiet when he keeps your gaze without any reaction, and clear your voice. Most of his face is kept behind a black surgical mask, hiding what you imagine to be the rest of a handsome face.
But no one likes being stuck in unwanted small talk, do they. He nods though, right as you arrive on your floor and the doors slide open. “That’s smart. I’ll have to try that sometime.” The box starts slipping further. The noiret’s eyes go from your face to your white-knuckled grip, and then back. “Would you like some help with that?”
“Please,” you can’t say quickly enough, afraid that one wrong move will send the entire box rolling across the floor. It’s not like you to admit defeat so easily, but currently your pride could cost you a hundred on fresh produce, and— he doesn’t seem like the type to ask if he’d mind. Your neighbor doesn’t say anything, but his eyes crinkle a little with a smile. Aside from some very brief passings in the hallway, you haven’t had the chance to meet any of your building’s occupants yet. He doesn’t bat an eye when lifting the very heavy box out of your arms, and you fluster. “Sorry for the hassle.”
“No, it’s alright. I have the afternoon off - ‘s nothing. You’re the new 3B tennant, right?” He frees one hand just to slide his mask down when you nod your face towards your door. He’s probably the prettiest guy you’ve seen to date, strong jawline, full lips and an almost perfectly straight nose; dark curls framing smart, observant eyes. So not only is he tall and charming, he’s also hot. When you mumble a soft acknowledgement, he gives you a little smile, and you can’t help but feel a bit too seen. “I’m Kiyoomi.”
You think you like Kiyoomi.
+
The heat of hands shakes you out of sleep with a slight startle, and the surprise soon makes way for a wave of rolling pleasure mixed under a heavy layer of embarrassment - at the way Kiyoomi’s toying with your body like it’s his own, and the low chuckle he lets out when you let out a pinched whimper. One of his hands is two fingers deep inside your pussy by the time you can even blink the sleep out of your eyes, feeling the warmth flood onto your face. As slick gathers between your thighs, he pushes himself up above you, and squeezes your throat between his free fingers.
“Sorry for waking you up, baby.” There’s a sharp glint in his eyes that you can’t miss even with the low light, deep from within. His hand slides down the curve of your spine to settle around your hip, pressing you further into bed as your back arches when he curls his fingers without any mercy. Though you are leaving wetness all over his hand, the sudden invasion is still a little jarring, definitely when he starts sucking at your tits and bites down. “Omi, ow,” you breathe, and he only grunts as he nudges a thigh between your knees, spreading you apart. “Right now?”
“Shhh, just bear it for a bit,” he mumbles back, as his hand trails down your ribcage and forces your body to adjust to him when he hikes your leg over his shoulder. “Woke up so hard thinking of you, and- you were so cute just sleeping here next to me without a worry in the world.” His fingers are replaced quickly by the hot head of his cock, that is slid a few inches too deep right away, and your whimpering only drives him further. “Ah, fuck, there it is. Good- fucking- girl…” By the time he bottoms out there’s silvery slivers running down your face and you’re shaking your head as the ache has you moaning with pain.
But the dark haired man above you barely gives you any time to adjust, before he starts rocking himself against your center and rubbing himself deep enough to force your mouth shut. “You trust me, don’t you, angel?” He pants, stroking the inside of your thigh a few times, before starting a punishing rhythm that rocks the bed hard. The question takes you off guard, but it doesn’t seem like Kiyoomi needs an answer to keep going anyway, and you swallow down your whimper to hide your face in the pillow. He’s so big and rough and your body can’t keep up. “Oh, your pussy’s so fucking good. So tight and- warm, agh, fuck.”
Jutting out your lip into a little pout, you let out a little noise. You’re trying not to let the way he’s basically getting himself off inside you ruin your mood. After a moment, you blink up at him with wobbly vision. “Can you kiss me?” He takes a few seconds before the words register, fucking you harder each time he bottoms out— before his dark eyes go from your eyes to your lips like he’s having to debate it. And that hurts. He decides maybe against better judgment to lean in anyway, and presses his lips to yours with a low sigh, an almost moan that you suppose you have to be content with. 
He pushes your knee up to your chest as he gets closer, and the heavy pressure of his body on yours gets even more unbearable when his free hand wraps around your neck and presses until you’re gasping out. Your boyfriend’s eyes glint as they flick all over your face, and a small grin starts to travel up his lips. “Don’t you like me better like this?” You’re too distracted by the pounding in your head to answer, and whine out his name as your back arches off the bed. And Kiyoomi pants as he forces you to take each thrust. “I like you a lot. Wanna keep you.” You throw your head back, and reach around his wide shoulders to pull him even closer, trying to lock your legs around his waist with a sigh.
“Shit, you’re so fucking pretty, baby,” he pants into your mouth as he rocks himself into you, forehead to forehead as your nails dig into his skin. You feel bad, but you can’t help but pull him closer by his shoulders as the shower water trickles between you two and makes the entire room a steamy mix of pants and sweaty touches. “So-” he kisses messily, making you smile as his tongue swipes yours, “-damn pretty. I love your body so much.”
“And me?” You breathe back, letting your body tremble in his strong hands as he rocks himself so deep inside you that it’s making you breathless. Your little whine makes him stare, and nod.
“Of course I love you even more— don’t be silly- agh, fuck.” You move one hand to brush the wet tresses of hair out of his face and let yourself get moved up and down him, thighs wrapped ever so tight around his narrow waist. He breathes your name like the word itself is lovely, and you can’t help but moan a long whimper of his name when he hits the right spot so perfectly. “You feel so good, taking my cock right in there- that tight, little pussy. Drooling all over me, huh.” Another kiss as you swallow your mix of spit and rest your hand on his cheek. “You drive me crazy. I really- ugh- really love you, baby.”
Your tits brush up against his chest. “Promise?”
“Uhuh, mh-ahg. Promise. I can’t get enough of you.”
Sometimes you swear you can hear the house close in around you with heavy breaths.
+
The door to your apartment already hangs open when you notice the noise. The low thumping that is only audible when you slide the headphones off, a vaguely rhythmic noise that makes the hairs on your neck stand. You slide off the bed with a little frown, and smooth the wrinkles in your camisole as you peer into the open apartment area - which is empty. “Babe?” The door wobbles when the wind passes through, and your frown only digs deeper into your face when there’s no answer.
“Kiyoomi?”
The noise is louder when you walk towards the hall, and fist your hands into the bottom of the flimsy dress to pull it down. Only after a few moments of thought, your instinct drives you across the hall to pull open the door of the neighbors’, a young guy who moved in after you two did. Sure enough, your stomach drops as the scene splays out before you. There’s red all over the floor, Kiyoomi’s hands, and most horrifying - all over Ryouta’s nose and mouth as the barrage of fists lands over and over again— and you let out a horrified gasp. The damage has already been done, the brunet lays back with swollen eyes and is no longer fighting back, and you’re basically stunned in place as his knuckles crack on his cheek again.
When you manage the next breath, you force out a call of his name between tears. “Hck- Kiyoomi- w-what are you-,” your voice sounds too tiny to be your own, but any more volume doesn’t make it out of your throat, “please stop.” The last crack that resounds before he stops is even harder than any of the ones before— and he gets up without a word, smoothing his jersey back in place. He only quiets a moment, before turning over his shoulder to look at you. You, wobbling toward him like a baby deer.
Honestly, you don’t want to worry about him. But you can’t help but take his hands in yours to inspect the split knuckles, bloody and bruised— as if this is some bizarre dream. Kiyoomi’s precious about his hands. They’re his dreams, his passions, and his opportunities all in one, something to be cared for, rested gently like they mattered more than anything else. And now they’re bloodied like animals at the slaughter. When you look up at him- there’s no regret, no worry or care or concern. Just a blank sort of faux-understanding of your worry when he reaches out to brush your cheek.
You pull back away to look instead at the young man on the floor, because if you think about it too hard, you might start sobbing. Your hands drop by your thighs and feel so heavy, tears drying on your face. “Why did you-”
“Got back from my run and he said he needed your help.” There’s a cold, detached resolution in his voice. “And I told him to forget it, and then he asked me what ‘the fuck’ my problem was.” You find yourself shrinking into yourself when his dark eyes shift to you, with that unreadable look in his eye once more. His hands are slid into his pant pockets with a soft sigh, but he still raises an eyebrow your way. “Why would another guy need my girl?” Ryouta’s been nothing but nice to you since he moved in. You believed, maybe mistakenly, that that niceness had extended to your boyfriend.
But staring at the poor, battered face of the guy on the floor— something tells you that even if it did, Kiyoomi no longer cares. It feels like really, he’ll take any excuse to lash out. Your eyes flick over his face again, before swallowing. “I don’t know. Maybe it was a misunderstanding.” For the first time since you’ve noticed this new side to him, you’re truly scared when he eyes you down. You’ve been upset, and worried, and angry before - but this is new. As the only sound between you two is the shallow rise and fall of your chest, you try to walk up and wrap your arms around his bicep. “I love you, Kiyoomi. I have only ever… loved you.”
He frees a hand to run it over your hair, before leaning down to rest his nose at your crown. “I know you do. You’re a smart little thing, that’s why I like you.” His training jacket still smells like mint and eucalyptus wash sheets, and it does absolutely nothing to soothe the aching pressure that makes its way between your ears and squeezes. And the soft kiss to your forehead doesn’t, either. “Get back inside. I’ll be right there in a bit.”
+
Your apartment is barely a shell of itself now. You realize it -truly realize it- when you toss and turn in your bed and can’t help but get stuck on little things that shouldn’t matter, but they do. The sheets are different, silkier somehow. Kiyoomi got new toothbrushes instead of the old ones with dolphins, and your entire apartment smells just different enough to make it pressing. Slightly bleachy, and too hospital-like. A blue haze is cast through the window by the moon when you softly slip out of bed, ignoring the way a soft puff comes from your boyfriend. He doesn’t stir as you move, though his empty hand seems to reach for the heat you left. Normally you’d wonder if he misses you when you go, but instead the reach just feels possessive. 
It’s like living with a brand new boyfriend all over again.
You don’t like it as much the second time, you realize, trying to choke down the bad air you’re breathing. As you wobble around in the dark, it’s hard to find your footing. The door clicks too loud for your liking when you brush it closed behind you, and slide down onto the couch as your eyes adjust to the dark. You feel like you’re hanging off the edge of falling apart as you look around the room— and try to think. That night when he came home, when he stared off into space and wouldn’t talk to you, your first thought was of another woman. Kiyoomi had never given you any reason to doubt.
He was handsome and intelligent and you were lucky to have him, but he always made it easy to trust him. If he wanted to be with you he’d be with you.
But as more and more days passed, small things got bigger. Not letting you call friends, not letting you dress how you wanted to, glaring at anyone who so much as looked up at you on the street. He’d never been so possessive when things were good. Still, you don’t want to mourn a relationship that isn’t even over yet. You cover your sniffles into your hand, and get up from the couch to go search through his jacket for his phone, or wallet. A stray bobby pin or earring, anything to make sense of the mess inside your head. You wouldn’t be proud of this in the morning - but your brain is eating itself alive. The apartment’s so quiet at night, and the old building pants and moans in the darkness.
The small closet is hotter than the rest of the apartment, more damp too. The jackets are piled high on the dryer, and though you shove your hand down every pocket, your search turns up empty. After a few seconds of turning the last pair of pockets inside out, you sink down into a crouch— and take a deep breath. Just a few weeks ago, you’d thought that you could see yourself marrying Kiyoomi. You’d spent hours by his side, convinced that no one in the world knew you better than he did.
A soft whistling noise sounds from behind the dryer, and makes you wipe your hand under your nose. There’s an old door to a bricked up stairway here, that you never got any use out of. Kiyoomi once stored some brooms there, you think. You don’t know what possesses you to slide your hands into the narrow space between the dryer and the wall and pull, but with some force- it moves. You strain to drag it aside until you jerk, scrambling up.
A track of blood.
Smeared over your normally proper linoleum, there’s a dried off-maroon that can only be blood, crusted onto the wood as a dark patch between the dryer and the door. Your chest caves. Instead of normal breaths, shallow gasps start making your entire body go solid and cold, and your throat dries up. This can’t … it isn’t real. Can’t be. Everything inside you tries to convince you that this is just a nightmare, but even as you pinch your arm hard, nothing happens.
Blood rushes to your bruised knees as you look around, trying not to panic too hard— instead put a shaky hand on the handle. It could be rusty water. A busted pipe. As you move at a glacial pace to open the door, it creaks, and you lick your lips. You can’t cry. You want nothing more than to explode into a dam of tears and unload, but it’s like your body refuses. Every second makes your body pump with adrenaline, until the door clicks open and reveals the narrow space - and in it, something that doesn’t make sense.
Blood pools on the floor, dulled, matted and a disgusting, sticky mess that has you gasping; only to hold back a gag. But in it, sits the slumped, unmoving body of your boyfriend.
The same boyfriend you were sleeping next to just a few minutes ago.
Every hair on your body rises when you choke on the smell, and sink down to press your fingers to his pulse— even when the off white pallor of his face says everything it should. “Omi?” You whisper, and when you breathe out, your throat closes up. You want to wake up. Your first coherent thought is that you can’t breathe; the next, to run. There’s no more heat in his skin, icy to the touch, and it frightens you so much that you jerk back and slam the door to the closet, stopping abruptly between the couch and the door.
It’s when the lights flick on that you do regret that.
Kiyoomi’s voice sounds deeper when you turn. As he stares at you, he brushes his messy curls out of his face. “What are you doing?” You don’t speak. Nothing but a shallow hiccup makes it out of your mouth, but you’re still holding out your hands like they’ve been burned, and maybe that’s enough for him to slide his eyes over to the closet. For a moment it stays quiet. So quiet that you can hear the blood rush beneath your skin, pumping with adrenaline you have no room for. Kiyoomi’s dead. Your Kiyoomi’s dead, isn’t he. “Ah.”
“I- I-”
“You weren’t supposed to go snooping, angel. You’re really making things difficult.” The noiret’s quiet calmness makes way for a slight smile, before he steps out of the doorway towards you. And you flatten yourself to the wall on shaky legs, but moving any more than that feels impossible. You’ve never been so scared in your life— literally frozen solid to the wall as your panicked hiccups send tears welling up in thick, childish bubbles that refuse to tip. He gives you an up and down, before pointing at you as he walks over to the closet, and sighs. “Don’t move.”
You couldn’t, even if you had the courage to. And you very much don’t. It’s so cold— you watch as he pushes into the small room only to drag the body you’d left there out of it. The heavy scraping noise of a limp body across the floor is almost enough to have you totally break. When he dumps the body in the middle of your shared living room, you manage to let out a few noises, strangled, pathetic noises, before you wring your hands together. “W-what did you do to Kiyoomi?”
“I am Kiyoomi,” he says back with enough certainty to shake you, and then smiles a little when finally the tears spill, and you shake your head left and right through your panic.
“You’re not—” is all you can squeak before he walks up to you too close and grabs your face, leaving sticky cold blood with his touch. Your cheek is almost held lovingly, but one glance up at his eyes convinces you that it’s anything but. It’s predatory, a mean glitter of amusement that plays in the darkness, and the harder you cry, the giddier it seems to get. “Let me go, p-please,” you sniffle, “let me go. I won’t tell, I just don’t wanna be- h-here.”
“Shhh, we might as well pretend I’m him still. You look so cute whining that name like it’s your fucking job.” He takes you by the hand after pressing a brief kiss on your forehead, and then sits you down onto the couch. And your chest still feels much too rattled to think about running anywhere, but when he pushes one finger into your mouth with a slight grin, you consider it. “Don’t know any better, do you?” He groans. You want to bite and run, and hide until everything stops pounding— but run where? Your boyfriend’s cold on the floor of your apartment. You can barely stop crying for long enough to take a breath, and the man above you pushes another finger down your throat. “Such a pretty little girlfriend I’ve got- look here-” 
You do - can’t help it when the pressure starts choking you, and whatever frightened look you’re giving him, is enough to make him groan long and hard. It fucks with your brain. It’s still your boyfriend- looks, smells, tastes the same- and if you stop paying attention for a few seconds, it’s almost like everything is back to normal. It’s almost like you’re safe as long as you pretend not to notice what’s going on around just you and the invasive touches that are forced onto you. “Man, you look so fucking wrecked, baby. Say my name, won’t you?” His grin is wide and cheshire-like when he leans in and starts nudging your top down your shoulders. “Say ‘please, Kiyoomi’.”
He doesn’t move his fingers out of the way to allow you. Instead you whimper around his fingers, and try not to choke as spit gets all over your chin and his hand. “Pwea-se, Kiy-oomi.”
“Hahah, you’re so fucking nasty, getting spit all over me. Drooling like a fucking dog while you’re being forced— You like whining and moaning for me?” He takes his fingers out to wipe them on your flimsy camisole and stands to start sliding down his boxers, pushing you back towards the couch. The small grin changes to a tight grimace when you try to grab at him for comfort. “Ah ah ah, don’t think so.” There’s a fistful of hair in his hand before you can apologize, as he shoves you face down towards the couch and holds you there, cheek pressed to the rough fabric. Until your face is hung just off the side, and you’re forced to face the trail of blood that ends in a familiar face.
It’s horrible, and the harder you squeeze your eyes shut against the wave of fresh tears, the deeper the image seems to force itself into your brain. “Kiyoomi~” You whimper pathetically, and he hums in response. Everything’s too close, too loud, his touch is too real and too pressing and warm— burning you from the inside out as he yanks your clothing the last bit down until it hangs around your waist and he drags his fingers up and down your slit through your panties a few times. It leaves the wet fabric awfully sticky against your pussy, and your cheeks get hotter. It’s not your fault, his fingers work you in ways that always work. That thought has your eyes flicking open, but the horrific sight has yet to disappear. “Mh-hck,” you start up again, and try to roll aside as he grabs your thigh hard to hold you in place. “I wanna stop. I wanna stop.”
“Aw, poor baby. Poor angel.” The dismissive tone is cooed as a loving mockery when he pushes you down between your shoulder blades and yanks your panties the rest of the way down. “You don’t even know what to do with yourself, huh?” He then yanks your head up so you’re forced to stare at your reflection in the window, unable to see anything else. You can’t close your eyes to hide from it. Kiyoomi’s grabbing you tight enough to have you unable to move. “I’ll give you a hint. You lay here and you take it. You just listen nice and sweet, ugh-” He groans low when pushing the hot head of his cock against your entrance, patting it with a patient sigh— only to push in with a force that makes you jerk.
Why does it hurt so much? You wanna cry harder when he forces all the heavy girth of his cock inside you and the wetness dripping between your legs squelches loud, but your throat’s too clogged to. Instead only a pinched moan comes out, and he grunts when bottoming out deep inside you. “Girls who don’t listen make me wanna cut them open and eat their insides out. Would you like that?” The pull on your hair forcing your head up is making you lightheaded. That, and the stinging, uncomfortable tightness inside your pussy, squeezing and clenching against the intrusion - still isn’t enough to drown out the horror of those words as he whispers them.
Almost instantly you shake your head left and right, and your muffled ‘no’s melt into a childish cry. “No, nonono, Omi- ‘yoomi- I, no~ pleas-hck- stop. Wanna stop.” He pulls back his hips for long enough to really let you feel the ache of your walls as they cling to his cock, but then thrusts back in and bounces you on his cock. He drops your head back to the side of the couch, and places a hand in the middle of your spine to anchor you down under his weight. 
“You don’t? I think you’re lying. You want to be treated like a sack of meat.” His hips make a loud sound when connecting with your ass. “You don’t like this?”
“Ow, oww, Omi- ‘hurts-” You’re fighting against the caving of your chest each time you exhale, and forced to take shorter breaths each time he fucks back into you. “Ah, ow.” And your pussy hurts, but the rolling of his hips and the stubborn, deep grinding is too overwhelming. You hate that you can hear the wetness of your cunt squeezing around the pumping of him inside, you hate the way he breathes above you, how you can feel him everywhere. It makes you sick. It’s all too much, and still it feels so fucking good that you’re hot in the face. “Mhm~ ‘m sorry. I’m sorry.” You blink through the tears to stare just a second at the trail of blood that he made from the closet to the couch— but you can’t make yourself look any closer. Instead you aim your eyes back at your reflection, and meet other eyes.
“You haven’t wanted to play with me much since I got here. ‘S your own fault that I’m all pent up now, stupid girl.” The steady rhythm in and out of your needy pussy is too much. It feels so good— and you hate it. You clench your hands into the couch as best you can and try to hang on, until your knuckles turn white. The noiret’s voice is back to taunt you, this time as his other hand reaches around to grab the soft of your throat and squeeze, shaking you back to him. “If you want your nice, reliable Kiyoomi, look- he’s right here for you.” You can’t. You can’t. Your tears well over in ugly rivers that you shut behind your lids, and Kiyoomi makes a noise.
You can’t tell if it’s a pleased noise or not, you don’t care. He rolls his hips, and your cunny accepts too eagerly. But it still feels so fucking good. And you can’t stop yourself from feeling like the worst person in the world. Your hands shake, and your head feels faint. Kiyoomi’s dead. There’s nothing else to know. Kiyoomi’s dead and you’re about to cum getting fucked— your whimper gives you away. It’s faint, but he hears it. “Hm, you don’t like him either now huh?” Instead of squeezing your throat, his hand moves to grab your tit instead, pinching your puffy nipple until you can’t help but make a noise. You’re so gross. And your pussy’s still pulling him back in, clenching to the pulsing heat as it fucks right into the softest part of your walls. “I- agh, f- I like bullying my pretty little cock sleeve to tears. So- f-fucking cute like this.”
He ruts into you until your belly feels hot and tingly, and you grind back against him on instinct. You’re getting so close, the pinching, the precise way he hits the needy spot deep inside you - you don’t even want to. “No, no- Omi, I’m- agh, please stop.” You really don’t. “I’m- I’m gonna—” But before you can stop it, your eyes squeeze shut, and your entire body goes tense. The tight ball of heat that’s been expanding all over your body with each pump, each time his heavy balls slap against you, explodes into a million pieces. “Kiyoomi, I love you, I’m so- sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s— all my fault.”
As he fucks you through the blooming heat and the white and black spots that play on your lids, he groans your name low and possessive. Your clenching only slows way after you’ve grinded yourself back against him and drooled all over the couch, until your tired body drops back into the plush. And Kiyoomi lets out a little chuckle. “Yea, it’s all your fault, stupid girl. You lay here and stay— I’ll be right back.” You barely feel the heat leave until it comes back, shoving some of the wetness from your sensitive pussy right back inside with a grunt, and a harsh tap of his hand to your pussy. The sting is sharp, and you glare through your tears as you look up. Not that he cares. “Here. Look. Kiss it.”
The sharp blade that’s basically shoved in your face glints when you hesitate, and suck your bottom lip into your mouth. “Come on. Or else I’ll put it to use on him instead, and you don’t want that, do you?” Your lips press against the cold metal, but your eyes stay resolutely on his face. Dark curls framing dark eyes and long lashes — you often told him he was the most beautiful man you knew. You wonder if he remembered it in the end. You suppose it doesn’t matter though, watching his mirror click his tongue.
“Good girl, such a good baby girl under all the crying and mess, aren’t you? Almost make me think you like me better like this after all.” You can’t answer, but the tears that wobble sadly along your waterline spill over in the silence— and your lip wobbles. And Kiyoomi only brushes a thumb along your lip, before shrugging. “No? That’s a shame. Because you are mine now. Mine. All of you.” He points the knife into the top of your leg, and leaves behind a mark that immediately wells up with dotted red. The immediate pain and sting of hot blood sears through your skin. “Tell me again what name you want me to write? Say it nice and sweet, angel.”
Your voice doesn’t shake as much as you think it should. “Kiyoomi.”
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taintedcigs · 3 months
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GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
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CHAPTER EIGHT: MADE YOUR MARK ON ME
← prev chapter // next chapter →
✦ summary: in which you and eddie try to navigate the aftermath of the kiss (wc: 5.8k+)
✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, FINALLY SOME DESERVED FLUFF n then angst oops, a little bit of argument but v tiny, uhmmm smut, p in v, unprotected sx (wrap it up irl), lots of praises, kinda rough. body worshipping? idk. eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed, thats it i think.
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader
✦ authors note — @andvys my angel thank u for all ur love & help💗🙏🏻 not proof-read i tried but i cant do it. pls ignore all mistakes. i honestly have a love-hate relationship w this chapter BUT ENJOY!!. also like... ily all for all the love on the last chapter omg?
anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series, pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗
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Minutes.
But it felt like hours. 
And you didn’t want it to be over.
Judging by the hold he had on you, calloused hands grabbing onto your flesh like a man-starved, neither did he. 
This was all he ever wanted. Ever since the day you flagged him over when your car broke down. Even when you were a bitch to him. Even when you rolled your pretty eyes at him. Even when you left him. All he fucking wanted was you.  
Always just out of his grasp, close but never close enough. And this? This was a dream come true. Fucking explosions and butterflies in your stomach type of shit that Eddie always mocked, that you always mocked. 
That scar in his heart that scabbed at the mention of you. Healed. All gone. One kiss from you and it was all back to normal. 
“Eddie!” A booming yell echoed in everyone else’s ears but you.
“Jesus fucking Christ, I swear I’m gonna kill him, Eddie where the fuck are you?” 
Was that… Gareth? 
If Gareth fucking ruined this for him, he was going to hang him by his balls, up on the wall, make sure he could never fucking—
“Eddie!”
And you pulled away, first, Eddie was going to fucking kill him now. A vivid torture method flashed across his mind. Even the adorable flustered look on your face as you drew a breath wasn’t enough to calm him down. 
“I—I think your set is about to-”
“Fuck the set,” Eddie spat, his veins still pumping with the need for you. Brain hazy, he was  never going to get enough of you, was he? A hunger that was never going to be sated. 
The lingering gaze was interrupted by Gareth, scoffing while he dragged Eddie away, ignoring the threats and the cusses that left his lips, the same gentle ones that were just stuck on yours, the sweetest taste, from the filthiest mouth. 
You really needed to shut your goddamn brain up. But how could you? 
His body was turned toward you, shirt stretched out—you did have a tight hold on him. Pale lips now a bit shiny from your candy gloss, stretched into the widest grin, eyes glinting with something you’ve never seen in him before. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it.
But it was beautiful. He was pretty. Tempting. 
-
You could barely comprehend Eddie’s words when his gaze on you was that striking. “We’re Corroded Coffin, thank you and goodnight.” Slipped past your ears, you didn’t care, you needed him. 
What happens now?
Lingered in your mind, you wanted him to rush to you like you’re in a fucking rom-com, lock your lips in a dizzying kiss, again, you didn’t fucking care. You wanted more. You needed more. 
You could feel the eyes of everyone, including Steve’s impatient nail-biting, dying to know what the fuck happened between the two of you. Yet they didn’t dare to ask you until Jonathan and Nancy had left since the rehearsal dinner was tomorrow. And ever since they were gone, Robin and Steve had been teasing you nonstop, trying to make you crack.
Clearly, something had gone down, and the co-dependent idiots had to know. 
“He looks like he’s going to eat you.” Steve hummed, making you roll your eyes at him.
You were about to give him a smart-ass answer, but of course, he didn’t let you. “I bet if I laid one hand on you, he’d end up here in seconds.” Steve barked out a laugh, Robin joining him as you threw them a dead-set glare.
“It’s not like that—we haven’t—he won’t.” Your frustration was interrupted by a grinning Steve.
“Oh, yeah?” Steve teased, his hand quick to brush away the strand of hair away from your face, fingertips gently brushing against your cheeks, making heat flutter to your cheeks.
“Steve!” you protested, your gaze widening as you chided him, while Robin playfully counted down from ten by your other side.
Steve ignored your protests, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you into a side hug. You attempted to push him off with a scoff, but he was relentless. 
“Three… Two…” Robin's counting came to a halt, and your childish squabble with Steve ceased as a deep voice interrupted.
“Mind if I borrow her for a bit?” The metalhead’s gravelly voice cut through the air, his gaze shooting daggers at Steve, who only smirked, much to Eddie's obvious dismay.
“Eight seconds,” Steve murmured in your ear, you could almost feel his stupid smirk forming on your ear shell, prompting a huff from you.
“She’s all yours, man,” Steve chuckled, releasing his hold and retreating with Robin, leaving the two of you alone. Eddie scoffed at Steve's retreating figure before turning his attention to you. 
“What’s their damage?” His brows scrunched together as he watched Steve and Robin walk away, engrossed in their hushed gossip. 
“Do you have all day?” You asked with a roll of your eyes, earning a chuckle from him.
He liked this, he loved this, he missed this. Easy banter, shared laughter. 
“So… you goin’ home?” Eddie asked, nonchalant, like his heart wasn’t thumping in his chest each time you stole a glance at him.
You nodded, keeping it simple, almost avoiding his gaze. His exaggerated reaction, a spat-out “What?” made you giggle. A melody he could never have enough of.
“Well, the night’s almost over, so…”
“Come with me,” He muttered, amber gaze like silk as it connected with yours.
“Where?” 
“Mi casa es yours or whatever the saying goes.” He grinned.
With a huff, “Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you muttered.
“Why?”
“You know why.” You enunciated.
He raised a brow, “Enlighten me.”
“I—It’s late.”  
“So? That never stopped us before.” He shrugged, seemingly unfazed.
“Oh, c’mon Pinky,” he coaxed, “we never end nights this early, at least not until we’re a couple more joints in, smushed on the couch, putting on some old horror movie… I thought we were revisiting the past.” He hummed, puppy dog eyes staring at your soul. Shit. 
You shouldn’t. You fucking shouldn’t.
“Are you really gonna say no to gettin’ high with me, sweetheart?”
Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
A nickname you had heard so many times before. Yet, it was different, the way it rolled off his lips making you almost jump in place.
“Okay,” you gulped, physically. Fuck.
He grinned, taking you by hand, fuck all, while you waved a shy goodbye to Robin and Steve, who watched it all with an all-knowing grin.
“Pay up,” Steve turned to Robin with his palm in front of her.
Robin snorted, “No fucking way.”
“Trust the process, Robin. Trust the fucking process.” Steve huffed, watching the two of you leave hand-in-hand.
-
As the two of you entered the familiar house, the sight of it brought enough memories that made you feel light-headed, a repository of memories flooded in your mind. 
“Is Wayne around?” you inquired, breaking the silence that clung to the space. Eddie, leading the way, answered nonchalantly, “Nah. At his girlfriend’s.”
Your eyes widened. “Wait what? Wayne has a girlfriend?” You exclaimed.
“Uh-huh, Hannah.” 
“Oh! That’s great!” 
“Yeah, he’s having sleepovers with her like a fucking teenager, I told him to ask her to move in, but he’s too chicken shit,” he scoffed. 
“Oh, come on.” You elbowed him playfully, “Be nice to him, he deserves this,” you said with a smile.
He nodded in agreement, “He does.” Then turned to you. “You want anything to drink?” You shook your head. 
You didn’t know why, and you didn’t know how, but a shyness appeared within you, propping up your elbows as you leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him intently. 
With a shrug, he opened the fridge, taking out a Schlitz, gaze on you dangerous when he popped it open with his teeth, barking a chuckle when you squirmed at the sudden, sharp sound. 
“Fidgety much?” He grinned, that damn dimple taking its place on the corner of his mouth, making all sorts of warmth flush to your cheeks, making you feel so timid under his gaze. 
You could sense the cockiness radiating off of him, it was addicting, and it was making you feel more and more shy under him. Because both of you knew why you were here, at two fucking A.M., dismissing everyone else, flirting and bickering all the way home. 
Yet, since you entered the familiar trailer, you had been silent. Because you knew, you fucking knew that kiss changed everything. But this would seal it. Another step forward. A territory the two of you had never crossed before. 
And your mind was not being kind to you, screaming at you to stop, to run, to not fucking do this, because you’d end up hurt, because someway somehow he’d end up hurting too, but Eddie wasn’t having any of it. 
Your silence made him cockier and cockier, drawing you in more and more. And if he kept it up, you knew even your idiotic abandonment issues wouldn’t be enough to stop you from jumping on him. 
You wanted this, all your mind could replay was his fingers on that damn guitar, the way his mouth popped open that damn can of beer, the way his stupid plushy lips curled into a smirk. Shaggy bangs fell onto his forehead when he leaned on the counter, arms flexing with it. 
Stop fucking thinking about it.
“You gonna answer me or what, sweetheart?”
“Huh?”
“Jesus, you okay?” He asked, concerned, cornering you in the kitchen with his soft hazel eyes. 
Fuck. 
“Mhmm,” you hummed.
“You don’t seem okay.”
“‘M f-fine!” You answered too quickly and meekly for that to be the truth. 
“Don’t tell me you’re still mad at me.”
Yes. No. Yes. No. I think I crave you more than I’m mad at you, but I can’t let you know that, your thoughts swirled. 
“I thought—”
You interrupted all quippily, “Thought what? That kissing me would suddenly undo everything?”
“No…” He sighed, “I thought I proved myself to you.”
“You did, but that doesn’t undo it.” 
“Well, I forgave you.”
You scoffed. “You know forgiving me doesn’t mean shit if you bring it up every time I tell you  you did something wrong, right?”
Crossing his arms against his chest, “Can you blame me?” He muttered, almost defeated. 
“What would you do? If I up and left, would you just forgive me? Would you just trust me and act like it was all okay?” He tensed, words spilling out of his mouth like venom. 
And you narrowed your gaze, returning it back to him. “What would you do if I kissed Jason? I asked you that, yet you never answered. Would you still kiss me? Would you still write notes for me, knowing that Jason’s slimy lips were brushing—“
He was quick to wave his hands in front of your face, grimacing just at the thought. “Stop! Just fucking stop!”
“What, too much for you?” You spat.
“Of course, it’s too much for me! T—the thought of him, anyone, being with you… makes me sick to my stomach.”
“Good, then I think we’re even!” You suggested.
“Even?” He scoffed,  “Is that all you fuckin’ care about?” He retorted, making you huff, once again.
“God, no! I just—I just mean we both did fucked up shit and from this point on we either move on, or we never talk to each other again, which we can’t seem to do!” You snapped, that anger from before had disappeared though, the kiss had softened things. Softened you. 
“Okay, then let’s just move on!” He took a step toward you, getting close again. So fucking close. 
You took a step back, your back hitting the marble counter, yet you remained on your angry stance. “Fine by me!” You retorted, all hastily. 
“That’s fine by me too!” He agreed, towering over you, trying to one-up you. 
“Good!” And, of fucking course you returned the energy. Stubbornness is exactly what defined the two of you, babbling like a bunch of kids over nothing. 
Eddie didn’t hesitate to take another step toward you, this time, both his hands on the marble kitchen counter, fully cornering you, as he grinned. “Great!” 
And you were about to answer, about to one-up him, like he did with you… but then you looked at him, really looked at him.
Looked at how fucking close he was to you, and you shuddered a deep breath, getting caught up in your throat when it reminded you of the kiss.
And that’s when Eddie realized it. 
You weren’t really mad at him. 
At least not really, not since the kiss.
You were nervous… because he was standing this close to you. 
A piece of dangerous information for Eddie—someone who had been in love with you since you were teens, to acquire, because it’d turn him into an arrogant fuck in a matter of seconds—even more so than he ever was.
“Oh.” The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, he was grinning like a devil now. 
“What?” You furrowed your brows, trying to have that annoyed stance from before, but it wasn’t working. 
“Why are you looking at me like—”
He was quick to interrupt, face inches away from yours. “You’re not mad, at least not that much, you’re… nervous.” He grinned.
“N—nervous? Why would I be nervous?”
“Because of me.” That stupid smirk on his lips returned
“Don’t be ridiculous—”
“What happened to that Pinky who refused to talk to me today? Who told me we couldn’t do this? Did one kiss soften you up this much?” He quipped, making you scoff.
“You know what? You’re an asshole.” You sneered.
“There she is.”
“When did you become this cocky, Munson?” You narrowed your gaze.
“I was always an arrogant fuck, sweetheart. But I’d say the kiss helped, like a fuck ton, and you squirming now, too.” He shrugged, like what he just said was no big deal, like how close he was to you didn’t make you gulp nervously.
You almost gasped, offended, like it wasn’t the truth. “I’m not fucking squirming—”
“Look at you… shuddering a breath just because I’m this close to you.” He barked out a chuckle, gaze dangerous, dare you say… lustful.
“Fuck you,” You spat, feeling small under his bashful gaze, cheeks heating.
“Well, I’m trying sweetheart,” He was quick, you had to give him that, making heat grow everywhere in your body, but especially within your thighs now, fuck, he was smooth.
And you weren’t willing to put up a fight, or a front, you wanted—needed him. You couldn’t deny yourself him any longer, not even your commitment issues were enough to hold you off. 
“You’re s—such a little shit,” You stuttered, embarrassingly so. 
God, you wanted to wipe his smirk off by kissing him, you wanted to feel his honey-flavored lips on yours again, you wanted to feel his lips twitch against yours instead of the air.
And he was close again, all in your face, all you had to do was lean a little bit and his lips would be on yours.
“And you’re an absolute pain in my—” 
Fuck it. 
You fisted his stupid shirt, crashing your lips down to his, dizzying, just as magnetic as before, but needier. His lips still tasted the sweetest, yet mixed with the bitter taste of the beer on his tongue made you grow weak in the knees. 
You were about to open your mouth fully, to feel his greedy tongue on yours, but much to your surprise, Eddie pulled away, making you whine.
“Wait—” He faltered.
“What?”
“Do you want this?” He asked
“Yes!” Your voice raised an octave.
“Tell me you want this.” His gaze was serious.
“I do,” you breathed.
He scoffed. “No, I wanna hear you say it.”
“Eddie—” 
“I wanna hear you, or we can just pretend like none of it happened, I can forget the kiss we can just sit around here and—” 
I want to know if you’re in this as much as I am, is what he meant.
“Jesus you’re so fucking—” You scoffed, but he actually backed away, your eyes widening at him.
“W—wait!” You pleaded.
An awaiting grin sat on his lips and you rolled your eyes at him. 
“Of course I want this, Eddie. I’ve wanted you for five fucking years, I wanted you the moment I laid eyes on you—okay wait maybe that’s a lie because you really were annoying the first time we met but I wanted, no, I want you—”
His mouth crashed against yours, interrupting you in the best fucking way. His lips felt warm, hot almost. Skin burning everywhere where he touched you, leaving goosebumps in its wake. 
“So eager, princess, already begging for me, hmm?” He taunted, making you roll your eyes in an instant. 
“Just shut up you, asshole.” He grinned, mouth crashing down on yours once again. Much more gentle this time, but rough enough to have your chests pressed together. 
His lips only left yours to be reattached to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses from your chin to your cheekbone. “‘M sorry, sweetheart, I just can help myself you’re so—” He mumbled, voice muffled by your skin. 
He lifted you up, strong hands meeting behind your waist in one harsh move, making you yelp before you wrapped your legs around him, he kissed you like he never had before, all teeth, and no mercy, passionate yet still gentle in somefucking way. 
He pivoted while trying to get to his bedroom, making you chuckle into the kiss, pining you against the wall, and it was all so desperate and messy. And just so you. 
You wanted to discard your dress but he wanted to rip it off, wanted to grab onto your flesh, and feel you, completely. Drink you in. 
He stumbled inside his room, knocking over a few boxes, and sending them over to the other side of his room. Not that either of you cared enough to break the kiss, at least until Eddie plopped you down on the bed, a grin overtaking his lips at the sight of you. 
“You’re so pretty, so fucking beautiful and just—” He took a deep breath, words were failing him, his entire being captivated by you. 
His mind was spiraling, cheeks almost a salmon pink. Eddie had sex countless times before, but none of them meant anything. None of them left him this speechless, none of them made him nervous. It was like his first time, the way his breath got caught in his throat, cock stirring at how pretty you looked, stomach fluttering at how he was on top of you. 
“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this. How long I’ve wanted you… How perfect you really are.” He towered above you, and your breaths mingled, bodies tied, chests pressed against one another. 
You wanted to joke around and tease him like he did with you, but you couldn’t help the flutters in your stomach. All you cared about was whether he thought if all of that was. Did he really see you like that?
“You mean that?” You asked, almost shy, wanting to hide your face, but he just gave you a scoff, like it was the most unbelievable thing ever.
It was to him. 
“‘Course I do, Jesus, Pinky I basically worshipped—” He placed a soft kiss on your lips. “The ground you walked on.”
You drew in a breath, “I—I wanted you just as much.”
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groaned. 
“Don’t say things like that,” he warned, shaking his head. Did you not know the hold you had on him? Even still? He was wrapped around your finger, always has been. Always would be. 
“Don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.” 
“Then, don’t, please, Eddie, I want you, more than anything.” 
That was all he needed, low grunts escaped his lips. He attacked your lips hungrily, desperately, twirling his tongue with yours, needy and passionate. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he cursed, hands meeting behind your back to unclasp your dress, and you helped him get rid of his clothes, your fingers fiddling as they struggled to take his shirt over his head. 
It was all messy, stupidly impatient, making both of you giggle while you struggled to get rid of the clothes that were keeping both of your bodies away from each other. 
“So impatient,” you mocked with a chuckle, enjoying the way his eyes boggled your body, it wasn’t disrespectful, you didn’t feel the intrusion as you did with every other fucking guy you’ve been with. Just pure appreciation and your stomach flipped with excitement. 
Fuck, what was he doing to you? 
He drew in a breath when your chest rose up and down, he felt like he was watching a ping-pong match, eyes darting over to every part of your body, he wanted to engrave it in his mind. Have you there forever. 
He could barely comprehend it, you, stark naked, on his bed. Telling him you wanted him, more than anything. And you looked perfect. Fucking perfect. More than he could ever imagine. All those years he spent thinking about you. 
The girls he fucked were always a spitting image of you. It wasn’t a fucking coincidence. He couldn’t get his mind off of you. You made him feel out of his head, and fucking finally, it was happening. 
Cold rings ghosted over your chest, making you gasp. “So—” His head dove into your breasts, latching his tongue on one nipple. “Fucking—” His hand dove down to your panties, discarding them without care before he ghosted over your slit, still waiting for some approval from you. “Perfect—” He hummed, against your nipples, making you mewl. 
“P—please, Eddie,” you muttered, pathetically. 
His eyes shot up at you, amber gaze dark, wanting, needing you to tell him exactly what you needed. “Need you to fuck me, please.”
“Baby,” he rasped, jaw almost hung open with how forward you were being. His cock was trapped in his boxers, needing room with the way words fell like silk from your lips. The nicknames were new, especially something like ‘baby’ but it felt so familiar, like the two of you had always been like this. Like the last five years didn’t exist.
This was all the confirmation he needed, his ringed finger met your entrance, and you whimpered at the slight sensation, your entire body burned with need at his one touch. 
His soft lips trailed down from your chest to your belly button, tongue leaving nice strokes on his way to your pussy, making you arch your back in desperation. 
“Need more, Eddie,” you whined, a pout apparent on your cheeks.
“That desperate, huh?” He grinned, pad of his thumb still toying with your clit, earning gasps out of you. “Haven’t even done much, yet you’re soakin’ my fingers, baby,” he added, that taunting tone making you roll your eyes.
“Arrogant fuck,” your voice came out as a squeak, making him let out a greedy chuckle. 
He inserted a finger inside of you, enjoying the gasps he earned. “You know, I always thought that attitude of yours needed a fix?” He hissed, ringed finger curling inside of you, making you squirm at the coldness as you bucked your hips for more. 
You didn’t know what took over you, or him. The dirty talk just rolled out of your lips like it was natural like the two of you had been together for the longest time. 
It was all the pining, anticipation, and the pent-up desire. And it was making both of you needier by the second. 
“Then do it, fuck it out of me.” A low groan echoed in the bedroom, followed by a string of curses, Eddie’s entire body shuddering with it. 
His fingers left your clit, hands working their way to slip out of his boxers, a rough expulsion of moan released from his lips when his cock plopped against his stomach, making your mouth water at the sight. 
Shit, fuck, shit. 
You gulped, jaw almost wide open, making him cockier if that was even possible. His hands jerked at his cock, collecting the bead of pre-cum collected at his hot tip. “Gonna give this to you, is that what you want, sweetheart?” He taunted.
With a nod, you licked your lips, making his cock twitch in his hands. “I’ll fuck the brat out of you, don’t worry, honey.” His hand was about to stroke his cock again, but you were quick to shake your head. 
“Let me help,” you hummed, your smile and attitude all disappearing, a glazed look washed over your features as your soft hands fisted his length. 
“You’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me,” he groaned roughly when your fingers stroked his rock-hard cock, until he couldn’t take it anymore and pushed you down on the bed and taking you by surprise before his lips re-attached to yours, hands slightly parted your thighs, teeth clashed together, and nibbling on each other's lips, before he finally, finally guided his cock against your entrance. 
Then, he stopped, making you furrow your brows when he reached for his bedside table, and you, unable to wait, were quick to stop him. “No!” His attention snapped back to you. 
“Please… I wanna feel you, ‘m on the pill,” you murmured, pupils blown wide, making Eddie curse once again before he blabbed, nervousness spilling out of him. 
“O—okay,” He hummed, turning to you with a nervous look, “and just so you know I haven’t had—” Shit, he was going to ruin this. 
“I was tested not too long ago and me and Chr—”
“If you finish that sentence I swear to god, I will leave, Munson,” you warned, gaze narrowed and jealousy bitter in your veins. 
He scoffed, “I was going to say we haven’t done a—anything, you lunatic,” he wanted to joke, but words rolled out of his lips like a quick ramble. He couldn’t fucking ruin this. But, he had to let you know. You had to know that they didn’t sleep together.
And much to his surprise, with a grin on your lips, “Oh? I don’t know if I can say the same with me and Jame—” your joke was quickly shut up by a dizzying kiss, and his groan turned into a growl, filled with jealousy, making you giggle into the kiss.
Both of you were idiots. Total fucking idiots. Insane. Crazy. But, fuck, did it feel right, like dominos falling into place, this is what it should’ve been. 
He dragged you more toward the edge of the bed with his rough hands, finally guiding his cock to your entrance, wiping off that grin from your face, hunger taking over fully. 
“You think you’re funny?” He spat, and you nodded all sassily, “Laugh it up, doll. But once I’m done with you, you won’t even remember the names of those other douchebags, I’ll fuckin’ make sure of it.” His arrogance was back, and that smirk played on his lips, shutting you up once again. 
He pushed into you without a warning, making you cry out while your eyes squeezed shut at how good he felt. Your pussy wrapped his cock nicely, so warm and tight that Eddie had no fucking idea how he didn’t cum right then and there on the spot, a low groan escaped his lips. 
He dropped his head to your shoulder, frantic breathing escaped through his nose as he tried to adjust to how tight you were. 
Jesus, fucking Christ. 
He had to hold himself off. 
Your hands clawed at his back, enjoying the stretch while Eddie pushed himself inside of you at a slow pace, reveling in the way you mewled for him. 
Eyes already squeezed shut, mouth slightly open, lashes fluttering the more he drove his cock into you. You looked so beautiful. Ethereal. 
He was struggling to comprehend if this was all real. This entire fucking night. From the fight to the kiss to now. 
It was always back and forth between the two of you, but more real than anything he ever had. 
Pinky. 
His Pinky. 
He loved you, so so much, that his heart was about to explode, his body felt hot from everywhere you were touching him. 
“God, you’re so fuckin’ tight, sweetheart,” he hissed, pace picking up once you finally accommodated his size, eyes rolling to the back of your head. 
“Feels s—so good, Eds,” you whimpered. He caught your chin in his hands, tilting your face toward him, making your fuzzy gaze focus on him. “I’ve wanted this for so long. You, wanted you for so long, shit, honey.” 
“Tell me…” He muttered, licking the trail to your boobs, sucking on it with a growl. “Tell me that this changes everything. Tell me that we’ll never go back, and I’ll fuck you like you deserve it.” 
“E—Eddie,” you stuttered, still struggling to comprehend it when his cock was hitting spots inside of you that you didn’t know existed. 
“I…” You sucked in a deep breath, mind feeling mushy before Eddie groaned, tucking his hips back, pulling out of your warm pussy as you gasped at the feeling, just as you were about to whine, beg, he rammed himself deep inside of you, again. A grin appeared on his lips when you cried out in pleasure. 
Yet, his movements halted, as if he was giving you a taste of what might happen, and you wanted to cuss him out, tell him to never fucking stop again, cry out, beg for him to continue. Your body felt woozy with how much you needed him to fuck you, how much you desperately needed to cum. 
“Everything!” You cried out frantically, “E—Eddie, fuck, I d—don’t ever wanna go back, please…”
That was all he needed to hear. And he simply couldn’t wait any longer, deprive his body of you any fucking longer. His movements picked up with a low grunt, fucking into you roughly and fast, all animalistic as he held onto your hips, leaving bruises all over while he worked on your neck, sucking, marking you. 
Pleasure bursted through your body as Eddie’s thick cock dragged along your walls. Both of your eyes locked, emotions gathering in them. Panting as your foreheads connected, thinking the same thing. 
Those three little words begged to roll out of both of your plushy lips, yet too scared to ever utter them. His lips crashed down on you again, this time, just so that those three words didn’t escape his mouth, kissing you with such passion that your head grew light. 
“Pretty girl,” he breathed into your neck, “my pretty girl,” he growled. His cock was driven by a primal need to make you his, every touch meant something, every time he thrust himself into you, it was deliberate, rough, but gentle in some fucking way. 
Shallow breaths escaped your mouths in puffs, as you watched him drive his cock all the way into you, and you tightened up almost immediately, your pussy pulsing around him.
He groaned at the sight of you, mouth hung open, tits bouncing up and down, mewls coming out for him. You looked fucking beautiful, babbling to him about how you were going to cum soon. 
He pressed his middle finger to your clit, drawing quick circles as you whined for him, he was fucking good, and you could feel your walls swelling as you yelled out his name. 
Your screams were muffled by Eddie’s lips as a wave of pleasure hit you like a ton of bricks and the second you came undone on his cock, he fucking lost it. His groans grew guttural as he spilled his load inside of you, falling on top of you with a contented sigh as he made sure every drop of him was stuffed into your walls. 
Ragged breaths filled the room as Eddie slumped next to you, and you stared at the walls, a smile curved on your lips when the drawings you gave him were still there.
“You still have that?” 
“Of course.” His fingertips traced a delicate path along the canvas of your skin, gentle, and warm, pulling away that strand of hair that was hiding your pretty features, a smile formed on his lips, his gaze on you so soft that you almost melted into him. “I told you… your art matters, it’s the very reason, I am where I am.” 
As his words hung in the air, you looked up at him, and he gazed down at you. In that shared gaze, both of you knew. No words were exchanged, yet the depth of your connection bridged any gap.
Three words. Eight letters. 
You should say it, you should tell him first. Let him know, that you love him, always have, always will. Your lips, poised in anticipation, hovered let him now, to utter those words.
But he interrupted, a subtle pull drawing you closer into the cocoon of his embrace. “W—We should go to sleep… hell of a day ahead of us.” He cleared his throat, fingertips weaved through the strands of your hair, caressing it.
A day ahead of us. Us. Us. Us.
It’s promising, so fucking promising. Peaceful. Everything you asked for. Yet, it scared you, because it was good. All of it was almost too good to be true. 
But you wanted to shut that part of your brain off. No, because you weren’t going to ruin this for yourself again, you weren’t. 
You hummed into his chest agreeingly, the vibrations resonating into his chest, his scent enveloped you, fully, completely. 
And each gentle stroke of his fingertips through your hair was like a lullaby, making you give yourself into the security of his presence. It only took a handful of caresses for you to give into the sweet desire of sleep, nestled against his warmth.
-
You woke up next to a void spot in the bed. The morning sun burst through the lazily taped windows of Eddie's room, forcing you to squint against its intrusive rays.
A languid groan escaped your lips as you reluctantly left the warmth of the bed, lazily throwing on one of Eddie’s shirts as it hung well over your knees, making your way to the kitchen as you called out for him.
Silence greeted you.
You checked the fridge, hoping for a note, a hastily scribbled message, anything that might explain why he was gone. 
But nothing. 
At this point, your mind hadn't erupted into full-blown panic; there was no reason for it, or let your intrusive thoughts kick in, no, they were wrong, they had to be wrong. 
There was no way he’d leave you, he wanted this himself. He invited you over. 
And the two of you were supposed to go to the rehearsal dinner early. To help Jonathan and Nancy out. There was no way he’d just leave you like this.
Right?
Or maybe he regretted all of it and left in a panic.
You kept telling yourself the same lie until seconds melted into minutes, and eventually into hours.
And then, it finally dawned on you. 
Eddie didn’t leave a note because he didn’t want to see you.
He regretted everything.
That's why he left you.
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hiro-doodlez · 5 months
Text
LIST OF ENGLISH ACRONYMS AND ABBREVIATIONS (the random letters that people use sometimes)!! FEEL FREE TO USE AS A REF (reference) SHEET!! In alphabetical too!!
Tone indicators at the bottom!
GENERAL:
AFK- away from keyboard
AKA- also known as
ASAP- as soon as possible
ASL- American Sign Language
B4- before
BC- because
BF- boyfriend
BFF- best friends forever
BTW- By the way
BTS- Behind the scenes/back to school / that one band
BRB- be right back
CW: content warning
Cya- see ya
DM- direct message
DW- dont worry
EZPZ- easy peasy
FB- Facebook
FW: flash warning
FAQ- frequently asked questions
FYI- for your information
GF- girl friend
GG- good game
GJ- Good job
GL- good luck
Gnite- good night
GTFO- get the fuck out
GTG- got to go
Gud- good
H8- hate
HBD- happy birthday
Hella- really
HMU- Hit me up
HW- Homework
IDK- I don't know
IDC- I don't care
IG- I guess / instagram
IK- I know
IKR- I know right
K- okay
Lmao- laughing my ass off
Kewl- cool
Kk- okay
Lol- laugh out loud
ILY- I love you
ILYSM- I love you so much
IMO- in my opinion
IRL- in real life
IYKYK- if you know you know
JFC- Jesus fucking chrkst
Jk- just kidding
L8R- later
LMAO- laughing my ass off
LMK-let me know
LOL- laughing out loud
Mkay- mm okay
NE- Any
NE1- anyone
NGL- not gonna lie
NM- Nothing much
NP: no problem
NSFW- not safe for work
NVM- nevermind
NW- no worries
Obv- obviously
OFC- of course
OMW- on my way
OP- original post(er)
OTP- one true pairing
Ova- over
Pic- picture
Pls-please
Plz-please
POV: point of view
Ppl- people
Prolly- probably
QOTD- quote of the day
R- are
RB- reblog
Ref- reference
Rly- really
RN- right now
RP- role play
RPG-role playing game
RT- retweet
Sec- second
SH- self harm
SMH- shaking my head
SMP- survival multiplayer server (Minecraft) / social media platform (?)
S.O- significant other
Sui- suicide
Sus- suspicious
STFU- shut the fuck up
T- testosterone
TBA- to be announced
TBF- to be fair
TBH- to be honest
TF- the fuck
Thnks- thanks
Thx- thanks
TLDR- too long didn't read (usually a summary)
TMRW- tomorrow
TOS- terms of service
TTYL-talk to you later
TW: trigger warning
Vid- video
WTF- what the fuck
WYD- what are you doing?
YOLO- You only live once
YT- YouTube
YW- you're welcome
—————
If the one youre looking for isnt here, either i forgot or its a fandom! Id suggest looking it up if youre confused!
Extra note: if you see 8 in one of the acronyms, then it usually is used as an “ate” sound. So h8= ate, gr8= great ect.
—————
TONE INDICATORS:
/aff- affectionate
/c- copypasta
/cb- clickbait (?)
/f- fake
/gen- genuine
/genq- genuine question
/half joking
/ij- inside joke
/j- joking
/lyr- lyrics
/lh- light hearted
/lu- little upset
/neg- negative
/nf- not forced
/nm- not mad
/npa- not passive aggresive
/nsrs- not serious
/p- platonic
/pa- passive aggresive
/pos- positive
/q- quote
/r- romantic
/ref
/s- sarcastic
/srs- serious
/t- teasing
/th- threat
I HOPE THIS HELPS!! and if i forgot to add one feel free to send an ask ^^
183 notes · View notes
imyourrjoy · 8 months
Text
The power held over me
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Summary: A new duo arrives in jackson after being found in the snow, praying
Warnings : DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!!!!!, abusive parents, toxic religion, toxic people all around, misogyny, hitting, threats, self dought,fear , stop here if it's too much the series will just get darker
Word count : 2.6k
Paring : dark!Joel Miller x pastors daughter!afab!reader
Part 1 / ?????
Masterlist
A/n : she's dark, very dark. This is your last waring, btw. And thanks so much to my pokie wookie bear @xoxo-honeyy for helping me revisit and figure most of it out she's amazing not only for that but also putting up with my dyslexic ass, ily pokie 💋 and give her love as well.
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The cold was the worst, especially in a dress. Your dad gave you his jacket but you were still freezing despite the extra protection. The two of you had somehow ended up near a lake, Your father said he could hear a dam nearby, you didn’t know what a dam was, but apparently, it meant that people were near since it's on that means people near and we should be careful and should pray before we continue to pray that God keeps us safe for another day.
You kneeled down on the dense snow. Your legs against the snow made you feel even colder, but your father said to thank Jesus under all circumstances and not to complain in his name.
Your father started the prayer in a loud, confident voice, “Dear heavenly father, we kneel here to ask you for guidance and appreciation to ask for help as you guide us on your path and lead us to safety and not shen ways of harm, amen.”
Bringing your hands to a prayer position you continued praying hoping the cold would go away.
“Hands up”
Your eyes flew open and you saw your father being held at gunpoint, people on horses, and dogs barking. You almost screamed in fear. Were they raiders?, slavers?, or worse were they sinners?
“She said hands up.” Another voice barked at you.
You looked at your dad and put your hands up. The people looked warm physically and emotionally, you felt jealous of them, you tried to will the jealousy away but nothing was working. You repeated the prayer in your head, I am sorry, God, I am not jealous. I am grateful for your gifts. The people then started talking to one another.
“Send out the dog and make sure they're not bit”
“We can assure you we aren't. We are children of God just like you all”
The dogs barked and sniffed us. Then, a different member of the group walked up to us getting off of their horse, and they walked right up to you.
“Stand up, you poor thing, no pants in this weather.”
The brown-haired woman tied her jacket around your legs.
“Thank you,” You replied.
“Don’t touch her,” Your father stood up, but the lady just ignored him.
“Lower the guns. We should take them into town the get some real clothes,” The brown-haired woman seemed to be in charge which seemed odd, you thought men were the ones who were supposed to lead?
Town? You’d only heard stories about places like that. Your father told you that when your mother was alive before the devil took her for being a sinner, that's when you all lived in a little house near the water, a large lake more specifically.
“She is in more than enough clothes”
The lady shot your father a scathing look, “Tommy ride with him and take his backpack. I’ll take the girl.”
The man, Tommy, took your father towards his horse, and the lady took you to hers. When you started the long journey, you were in awe of the surroundings, but nothing could compare to the smell. The smell of fresh food, fire, and the snow falling you were utterly captured by it. When you see large wooden gates and lots of people with guns, you think to yourself i'll pray for them.
"Welcome to Jackson,"
She said as the gates opened, she'd never seen anything like that. it was a town where the stories were true? We rode in, and she helped me off the horse. You were a little worried you hadn't seen my Dad since he got on Tommy’s horse.
"He's fine. Tommy's just gonna show him around while I get you some clothes. What's your name?"
she gave her a smile of relief.
You gave them your name and they smiled warmly
She started walking and you followed her into a shop like building full of clothes she looked at some jeans and before she could hold them up you interrupted her,
"I can't wear pants."
She almost laughed.
"And why is that?"
"It's a sin,"
She scoffed.
"God would rather you live than freeze."
She handed me a pair of jeans``.” you were shocked someone would ever say his name like that.
"But my D-"
"Go change,"
She cut me off and looked for a top, a simple sweater. You were so scared you were gonna go to Hell if she put on these pants. You'll have to pray for hours for God to forgive you.
"You can change there, and trust me, you won't die over pants."
"it's a sin,"
"Honey, trust me, you're not gonna die,"
You took a deep breath and walked into the changing room. You wanted to cry. You were gonna die for this, burn in Hell for eternity, and be with those monsters. You took off the layers and layers of jackets and a dress. The tears started flowing as you put on the jeans. You felt like you had committed the worst crime in the world, and you started begging for forgiveness as you changed.
You started mumbling quickly under your breath, "Dear heavenly father, I am a sinner, and many have sinned by your grace. She prays for my and others' forgiveness. Have mercy on me, your faithful servant of God, according to your faith and love. "
You put on the top, “.” wiped your tears, and walked out of the changing room. When you came out, she the lady had a pink jacket.
"Here she'll keep you warm, and the color suits you."
She was right. The color did suit you.
"Thanks."
"Put it on, let's make sure it fits, and after I'll show you around town."
You put on the jacket and zipped it up. As We walked out, you kept your head low. You shouldn't look at other people if you are in the midst of sin. At least, that's what dad says. She showed me the canteen, a woodworking shop, and even a school. Then you saw my dad and the man, you ran up to them.
"Dad!"
You threw yourself at him and he caught me pulling me into a big hug
"Oh my love, it's ok. You’re safe, God has found us home at last,"
You smiled and saw Tommy go up to maria
"Dad, we need to find a place to pray."
You were so ashamed of the pants, and it seemed like my dad started getting angry.
"We will. They have a church we shall go there and pray for forgiveness and pray you won't become a monster like the rest of the sinners in the world, my love,"
Maria and Tommy walked back up to you and you're dad.
"Well, before we bring you guys to your lodging, we need to talk about the rules, and you all look parched. Let's go to the canteen and get some food?" Tommy said.
my dad nodded in agreement as we all started making our way to the canteen. The closer we got, the more the scent of freshly cooked food invaded your senses, it was so much different from the old canned beans we usually had. We walked into the canteen. It was made of beautiful wood, lights hanging from the ceiling, people giving out plates of food, and others eating it was beautiful.
"Here, I'll take the young lady to get some food. y’all can find a place to sit,"
Tommy walked me to the line of the canteen
"We have rabbit or sheep today, which would you like?"
"Sheep, rabbits are too cute to eat."
Tommy laughed and got two plates and started putting sheep on both.
"So I hear your names y/n is that correct?"
"Yes."
He started putting vegetables onto the plates.
"And your dad is a preacher or just a very devoted man of God?"
she thought that was a dumb question, he's a pastor he told me he was dressed like a pastor. it made you laugh.
"A pastor, of course,"
We moved over to get drinks for you and your father, but before Tommy could grab the pitcher of water you weren't sure what it was sense it wasn't water colored more like mud you're not sure.a girl younger than me grabbed you were more shocked she had pants you hadn't thought of it but a lot of girls here wear pants she should pray for them
"Excuse me,"
She filled up her glass as Tommy protested, “Ellie”
she smiled as she left
"Sorry about her, she's my brother's kid, she's very outgoing, let's say."
"She's fine, but I am worried about the number of women in pants I'll have in my prayers. Does this place allow sinning?or something?" Your voice was filled with concern.
He continued to fill up the cups and looked confused”." That's one way of looking at it for now. Let's just get you both fed,"
We all sat down at the table. You've never eaten so fast, and that water,which was apparently sweet tea, you think too yourself it's probably your new favorite thing. Dad kept telling me to slow down, but you couldn't. You were so hungry and happy to eat something real.
"So, Maria told me you have a multi-faith church?" Your dad asked as he finished eating and scraped the leftovers onto your plate.
Maria replied in a calming tone, "Yes and you’re a preacher, so I’m assuming you would like to have a mass of some sort, which is fine with me and with the council, but first we need to go over the rules the whole reason we came here"
At the mention of rules, you stopped eating and started listening.
"All able-bodied people over the age of 18 unless, unable to due to their health, a disability or lack of survival skills are required to patrol . We rotate every week, two people are in a group. We classify ourselves as a commune which means we all share everything, nothing belongs to just one person, we all respect one another. As well, pitch in and have jobs based on what skills we have or what we're good at. Understand?"
You noticed your dad wasn't too fond of the rules, but he both nodded in agreement.
"So how old is your daughter?" Tommy inquired.
Your dad sighed, "Around 19, we don't know specifically, but she was born about a year after the outbreak. My wife at the time had just gotten pregnant,"
You kept my head down, you missed your mom a lot, she wasn't like my dad she loved God and they taught me to love Him but she liked to tell me about my room shen the town, teach me to read and write she hated that she was a sinner as dad says she didn't believe enough you remember the verse we read for her after she died “For the wages of sin she's dead”. Dad says she wasn't devoted enough.
"Joy, how do you make a fire?"
Tommy asked me the question, and you laughed,"My dad makes those they aren't ladylike"
You doesn't know why he looked taken back. You're a woman. You're supposed to cook,look pretty for your husband and put God above all.
"Joy, you see that girl over there,"
Marshea pointed to a group of girls, including the one who took the pitcher, you nodded."How about you introduce yourself? Make some friends while Tommy and she talk to your dad."
You smiled and walked up to the girls. They all had tea and some food. They all wore pants as well. Before she could say anything a dark-hashered girl spoke
"New to Jackson?"
she nodded
"No way, hey”
The girl from earlier hit my shoulder playfully
"Well I’m Ellie welcome. To my humble abode, take a seat”, you took a seat next to her
"So how'd you find Jackson?” Ellie questions and then thinks for a second, “or did the patrolman find you?
" Well, my father and I just keep moving and, apparently, have traveled throughout. for my whole life moving looking for the place God wants us. And we saw the dam which is when my dad said we should start praying for people or a town, that’s what it’s called right?"
Ellshee immediately responded, chuckling a bit, “Gosh, aren’t you ancient.”
The girl, Ellshee, laughed louder, and it got to your head. Maybe she’s just not used to someone like you?. Maybe it's because you didn't know what town is was?. Either way, it, didn't feel good.
"Ellie, don't be mean" The gruff and slightly hoarse voice came from behind me.
You quickly turned my head to see an older man with graying hair with brown spots sprinkled throughout it, There were also prominent scars on his nose and temple, To say the least, the man looked frightening
"Oh come on"
Ellie protested but the man shushed her.
"Y’ know Ellie, she could probably teach you a thing or two, a girl like her shes a woman of God." He sent a sly wink towards you
He took a seat across from us and Ellie rolled her eyes, "Hi there hon I'm m Joel and this here is my daughter, Ellie don't mind her she's a bit rough around the edges"
"I am not"
she laughed at the little bantering and you got asked the same basic questions before Maria walked up to us,
"she see you've met Tommy's brother,” there was a slight frown on her face,
“come on it's time to see your new home"
You waved goodbye to the pasher and met up with Tommy and my dad again. We all started walking through the town , towards an a cute little house with a small porch and yellow panels.
"The heat, water, and electricity are on and Father you can't wait to see what your Sunday mass is like don't be afraid to reach out if you need anything."
Tommy gave my dad the keys and they walked away after saying goodbye for the night. The house was the same as the rest but it had some personality. It was dusty but rustic. It had two bedrooms and one bathroom, a kitchen that worked a couch, and TV that wasn't of any use but still, it was so nice everything was until my dad looked at me up and down.
"Why the pants? Is my daughter a monster, a sshenner, unfaithful to her lord"
You looked down and the floor,
"Marshea told me that she wouldn't burn and that shet was prac-"
Before you could finish your sentence my father hit me across the face
"Practical your put practicality over your lord and savor????"
Cold dread washed over your body.
"No Dad i-"
He hit me again making me fall to the floor, then he grabbed a fistful of my hasher
"Tomorrow you're getting rid of those pants, if i see them again i'll see to it that God knows of every sin that my child has committed and that my prayers for her forgiveness for her not to become those monsters were all for nothing as her love for him was fake"
You started crying once my dad let me go. He walked into one of the bedrooms while you sat there crying until finally making my way to bed.
You got on your knees and started your nightly prayers you needed to pray for myself, my Father, and God
You brought your hands together
"Dear heavenly father, thank you for your bountiful love and sacrifice. Thank you for leading me and my father to Jackson. I am sorry I have committed the sin of wearing pants. she shall never do it again. My lord, your Bible is the truth, and I am your faithful servant. I pray for my forgiveness as well as the forgiveness of the woman shen Jackson also guilty of this crime. I pray for my mother that though she's a sinner, you forgive her shen the afterlife, and may the devil have mercy on her. And lastly, I pray for my father. I pray that he stays healthy and bountiful. Praise the Lord as he watches over us in our sleep amen."
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214 notes · View notes
moonbyunniee · 2 years
Note
i love your work :) i love the way you describe things, and i just seem to be inspired to work even harder on my fanfics :D
is it possible if i could request a scaramouche headcanon? it can be any kind of topic, with any other characters in it. i just know you recently just uploaded a headcanon, so take your time IF you are going to work on the scaramouche thing
i hope you are doing well though hehe i hope the rest of your day and week goes well without any troubles :)) <3
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no cuddles for you (but i'd be lost without them)
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description ➵ when you take away their cuddling privileges because the two of you were in a fight
characters ➵ scaramouche, diluc, lisa, hu tao
cw ➵ fluff
a/n ➵ hi anon!! thank you for all the compliments 🤍 and i'm glad my works can inspire you to write better! ofc i can make some scaramouche headcanons for you! i hope you have an amazing week too :D don't forget guys my ask box is always open so feel free to send me a request - or basically whatever you want!! ily all! the idea for these headcanons are inspired by one of heizours's works!
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scaramouche - 斯卡拉姆齐 ➵
scaramouche has a love-hate relationship with physical contact
if he's hurting someone, of course he loves it
but if anyone other than his beloved y/n is cuddling him, he'll freak out
although he acts like he hates your cuddles, he secretly longs for them every waking minute
he also always wants you to suggest a cuddle session because he doesn't want to seem like he needs them or anything
so when you take away his cuddling privileges completely after a fight between the two of you, he's quick to react sourly to it
"...h-huh? you're taking away my cuddling privileges...? hmph...it's not like i care. do whatever you want - it's your loss, not mine!"
he'll mope around the house
sulking 24/7
he'll glare at you when he thinks you're not looking at him
and he'll be fuming, basically
muttering incoherent threats under his breath and pretending to not care at the same time
and shooting furtive glances your way, waiting for any sign that you'll crack and let him cuddle you
eventually you do just that, and let scaramouche into your arms again
and he 'reluctantly' finds his way into the cuddle, leaning into you and muttering an apology
yeah that's all you're gonna get for that fight, one apology
i mean...who do you think he is?
but of course, he could not be gladder for the welcome return of his cuddling privileges
"i'm sorry, y/n. now, don't you dare take away those cuddling privileges from me ever again...you were clearly going crazy without them, hmm?"
diluc - 迪卢克 ➵
like scaramouche, diluc is not a complete fan of physical contact and intimacy
but he still loves your warm touch
when the two of you get into a fight, he acts all mature and uncaring about it
...which kinda makes you feel like the smaller person
he also acts like he doesn't need your hugs, and will be extremely good at hiding his true feelings
"oh, you're taking away my cuddling privileges? well, that's okay. it's not like i liked them anyway."
sadly, his uncaring approach to things like these will make you feel upset
because you think he doesn't need you in his life overall
diluc, not being good with emotions, won't really know how to deal with this although he will realise he's upset you
he'll need some time to think of what to do before acting on those thoughts
after some time, he'll come up behind you when you least expect it, wrapping his strong arms around you and resting his head in the crook between your shoulder and neck
and gently hold you, whispering his apologies into your ear, his hot breath fanning over the shell of your ear
"i'm so so sorry, my precious y/n...i didn't mean to make you feel upset in any way, but i just...really like being close to you. i'm sorry."
lisa - 丽莎 ➵
lisa lives for physical affection and touch
the two of you barely ever get in fights
but this one time it got really bad, and you decided to take her cuddling privileges away from her
she immediately went into sulking mode
and was basically moping around a lot, trying her best to sweeten you up with tea and cakes and books
"come, y/n, why are you so harsh on me all of a sudden~? how about we read together? that always cheers you up - no..? oh, i see."
when you decline her offers she'll continue her life as normal
but will also keep making opportunities to accidentally on purpose bump into you, or wrap her arms around you in any way
she'll pretend to drop her books near you so you have to help her
or she'll pretend to twist her ankle so you have to carry her to safety
finally you'll give up because she'll be following you around all day and won't let you concentrate on what you need to do
and she'll happily cuddle you, your head resting on her lap as she reads a novel quietly and strokes your head lovingly
"see...it wasn't that hard, was it, y/n~? now, what would you like to read next? i took a day off from the favonius library to spend with you, dearie~...don't disappoint me now~..."
hu tao - 胡桃 ➵
hu tao always loves wrapping her arms around you, using her pyro vision to warm the both of you up a little
her hugs are always sudden and unexpected
she'll come up from behind you and cling onto you like her life depends on it
but now that the two of you are in a fight...well, let's just say it hasn't been going good for her
"yyyy/nnnnnn give me huggies now! please please please...i promise i won't fight with you anymore...please..."
taotao will 100% cling to you all day
and will make it very obvious that she wants your attention
kinda like a cat
she'll cling onto your arms and nuzzle her head on your shoulder, begging you to let her cuddle you
trust hu tao to make a business deal of sorts out of this whole thing
'one hug from you, infinite hugs from me...for free!'
it's a tempting offer, and she's just so adorable that you eventually give in
she immediately crawls into your lap and nuzzles her head against you
giving you a few kisses as she does so
"y/nnnn - no more taking away my cuddles, okay?! ugh...well, at least i have you to myself now! and...i'm sorry for fighting with you <3"
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14thcommander · 9 months
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she lives in daydreams with me | mikasa ackerman x reader
summary: mikasa has always been the coolest girl you know- it isn’t until you go away for college that you realize your feelings are way deeper than simple admiration.
cw: 18 PLUS ONLY! internalized homophobia, queer angst, small town shenanigans, yearning, hints of mental illness and trauma, mutual pining, coming of age vibes.
author's note: i'm genuinely so excited and scared to put this out in the world. this fic holds a huge place in my heart, as well as the topics i wrote about. thank you to the amazing @strawberrystepmom for beta reading it for me! ily
dedicated to @utahimeow
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You take a deep breath before exiting your car. 
As you approached your front yard, with a heavy suitcase in hand, you started naming five different things you could see – then, five things you could smell. The way your chest seemed to tighten when you rang the doorbell didn’t go unnoticed by you, although you did fully ignore it. Coming back to your hometown has always made you feel like cattle arriving at the butcher’s. 
The drive is easy, familiar – even though you only come home a couple of times a year, strictly for important holidays. It isn’t that you hate where you come from, it’s more complicated than that and, frankly, sometimes you wish it was that simple. 
Catching up with your parents seems to be the less difficult part out of all of it: their questions are simple, easy. You can’t quite tell if their interest in you only goes so far, or if they are scared of what you may answer them. Either way, it’s a routine you’re already used to.
“School’s fine, mom.” You reassure, hugging her tightly. She mentions something about how quickly time passed since you first left for Trost University, and you hum in agreement. It’s been around four years, and, although you visit on Christmas, your mom repeats the same questions. It’s a mom thing, you figure.
“How are your friends, sweetie?” Your father asks, helping move your suitcase into the house. His words are supposed to be caring, normal even – although you can’t help but feel your throat tighten with the threat of tears. 
“They’re all good.” You answer with a smile, hoping he wouldn’t ask further – and he doesn’t. This one would be hard to explain.
Despite feeling emotional about being in your old home, you can admit there’s some part of it you actively enjoy. It’s less noisy than the place you rent at downtown Trost, and, on summer nights like this one, you might be able to see a few fireflies in your front yard. It’s almost comical, how Shiganshina seems to be frozen in time – or, perhaps, you’re the one who’s been going through constant changes. 
Greeting your family members, playing with your childhood dog and sleeping in your old twin sized mattress are part of it. You feel like an external visitor when you walk up the stairs, even though you’re still very much aware of which steps snap under your weight and which doesn’t.
Your phone buzzes when you’re brushing your teeth to go to bed, an hour or so after excusing yourself from your mom’s inquiry – how’s school? Are your friends nice? Your father says Trost is a great place-
connie springer: 
long time no see, stranger
Your heart skips a beat. The toothpaste in your mouth almost burns your tongue, as you stand in front of the foggy bathroom mirror before spitting in the sink. What does your friend-from-high-school-who-you-haven’t-talked-in-a-year wants from you, at almost midnight? 
you:
hey connie, how’s it been? 
connie springer: 
eh, same as usual. u?
you: 
i’m alright
connie springer: 
cool
stori was asking for your number, can i send it to her? 
You frown at the message. None of this situation makes any sense, especially given the fact Historia Reiss definitely has your number and you text each other – as well as Ymir – on an almost daily basis. 
you:
yeah, sure
You breathe deeply, exiting the bathroom and entering your childhood bedroom, feeling suffocated by the past – polaroids, fairy lights and books on top of books don’t fail to bring back memories of which you so desperately want to forget. You cannot bring yourself to spend another night plagued by thoughts you wish wouldn’t clog your brain – your therapist wouldn’t be proud of that, you think. 
Unlocking your phone, you look for Ymir’s number, refusing to debate with yourself on whether to call her. 
“Hey.” She answers after a few seconds, seeming to expect your call. “Before you say anything, I know. Also, I’m with them right now.” The last words are whispered, muffled by loud music playing in the background – some trendy Doja Cat song indicates she’s at a get-together at one of your mutual friend’s house. You’re not upset: no one else knows you arrived at Shiganshina today, however you give a day or two before you’re spotted in public and everyone else finds out.
“Ymir, what the fuck is going on?” You question, sounding more scared than angry. Your breathing is shaky, and your friend can hear your worry through the static. She’s been that, done that and won’t judge your behavior – even though it seems a bit uncalled for.
“It’s okay, don’t worry. Historia’s birthday is next week, and we had to pretend to have lost your number since you changed it cause, you know…”
You do know. Historia and I have to pretend we’re not in touch with you, out of respect for what you asked us a couple of years ago. Your eyes shut, and you sigh. 
“You’re safe, they don’t know yet… but I don’t think you can keep running from them any longer. Jean is one step away from pulling up to your folks’ place with the whole gang.”
You snort in response, imagining a scene of your friends stuffed in Jean’s jeep. This is what you get from hiding, you guess. You hear someone calling Ymir from the background, which she doesn’t pay any mind to.
“Yeah, I understand.” you reply. “Thank you for the support, really and, um… see you soon, I guess?”
Ymir smiles genuinely at your words, lowering her head to watch the scene of Sasha running after Connie from the balcony. 
“See you soon.”
-
The sight of the local grocery store doesn’t ease the sinking of your stomach – in fact, it only makes it worse. 
Your father texted you during your morning run letting you know you ran out of eggs, and he’s in the mood for pancakes. It was your unspoken duty to get them for him, and this time you don’t whine like when you were a teenager. Moments like this with your family are more appreciated by you, now that you’re no longer around them.
Getting out of your car, you place a pair of headphones on your head and select one of your carefully made playlists. You enter the store, nodding to the customer who gets out and passes you by – a friend of a friend, maybe. Small town culture. 
“Morning.” You greet the cashier, a teenager bored out of his mind, but still greets you back. 
You walk down a couple of aisles before finding the one you were looking for. You smile to yourself, feeling proud of the muscle memory ingrained in your body. Even after all these years, you still remember small details about Shiganshina. 
The moment is short lived, given the fact someone calls your name – a raspy, almost angry voice. 
Of course Levi Ackerman, out of everyone, is who you end up bumping into. 
“Hey.” Your voice is small even when you take your headphones off. The short man eyes you up and down, opening his mouth like he was about to say something. 
“Kid, how have you been?” A stronger, more demanding voice comes from behind the both of you. “We haven’t seen you in ages.”
Wherever Levi Ackerman goes, Erwin Smith is surely with him. 
“Erwin, hi. I’m alright, just busy with school… you know how it is.”
Your tone is playful, almost as if you’re talking to an old friend – and, well, you kind of are. Levi is Mikasa’s older cousin, who took care of her ever since an early age. You remember he had a full time job, while still attending Shiganshina’s community college. He has always worked hard, for both him and Mikasa – and, when things got rough, their crazy uncle would drop by and help with groceries and rent.
And Erwin is, well… Erwin. Always with Levi, following the brunet wherever he goes. Roommates, is what the people around town call the pair – even though you, as well as other people, know better than that. 
Levi resists the urge to roll his eyes at your response, and you should be aware he’s known you enough time to get a lie straight from your lips. Despite the joyful tone you offer them, he can tell this is rehearsed. 
“Erwin, did you get the dog food?” The shorter man inquires, and his partner in crime sighs playfully. Baby blue eyes look into gray ones, as they seem to exchange a message that only they could understand. 
“Ha, I almost forgot it. And kid, don’t be a stranger.” He winks, before exiting the animal products aisle, walking towards the store entrance.
This is the second time someone says don’t be a stranger under, what, twelve hours? You resist the urge to curse under your breath, lowering your head to hide your gaze from the eldest Ackerman.
“Listen,” He starts, voice barely above a whisper – even if you’re the only two people in the aisle. Your sneakers squeak on the floor when you move your legs in order to fully face Levi. “My cousin is too much of a stubborn brat to let you know that she misses you.”
You sigh. Your brain short-circuits with information and flashbacks: the last time you saw Mikasa in person was over a year ago, and frankly, you don’t think you’re ready to see her again. Even though you know she’ll be at Historia’s birthday celebration. 
“She said that?” You ask, voice coming back to its normal tone. 
“Of course not, it’s Mikasa we’re talking about.” He replies, and before you can ask him then how the fuck do you know that, he answers it for you. “She talks about you whenever she gets the chance, though. So does the lanky blond kid.”
“Armin?”
“Yeah, think so. Either way, take care, kid.”
That morning, you left the grocery store with a carton of eggs and an even more bruised heart. 
-
You were watching reruns of a 2000’s television show a couple of days after the grocery store incident, when the doorbell rang, as your dog barked at the sound and got up from its place between your legs.Your parents had left to visit your uncle a few towns over, and miraculously didn’t make you tag along – perks of being an adult, right? You mom had said. 
“Coming.” 
You open the door to be met with the sight of your close friends. 
“Oh, it’s you.” You mumble, rubbing your eyes as shy rays of sunshine enter the living room – you had closed the curtains a few hours ago, in order to remain in the dark. “Come in.”
“You know, ever since moving to Trost you kinda became a bitch.” Ymir says, entering your house as Historia giggles beside her. “I dig it.”
You smile as your dog barks at your friends, which causes the brunette to call him a little shit just like his mom. 
“Mi casa es su casa.” You announce once you enter the kitchen, a place that holds many memories: preparing snacks for movie nights, cooking with your mom, helping your dad fix a cabinet or two…
“Speaking of Mikasa…” Ymir teases, as Historia sits on a stool near the kitchen isle, laughing at her partner’s incredulous choice of words. “It’s about time you talk to her.”
“True.” Reiss chimes in, in a soft manner. “She asked if you’re attending my birthday trip.”
“Trip?” You exclaim, opening the fridge and looking for cans of soda. 
“Yeah, if you can consider going to Jean’s lake house for a weekend to be a trip.” Ymir huffs playfully, grabbing random ingredients from the cabinet. “Anyway, you have to go or we’ll have to kidnap you.”
You close the fridge, clumsily holding three cans of Pepsi in your arms. You place them on the counter, laying your elbows on the cold marble. 
“Of course I’ll go. Wouldn’t miss Stori’s birthday.”
She smiles, letting out a soft awn sound. 
Ymir places the ingredients on the kitchen island – two bars of chocolate, brown sugar, flour, vanilla essence. It’s a scene you’ve seen many times before, but it doesn’t fail to make your heart fill up with warmth and love for your friends. 
“If you don’t talk to Mikasa willingly, I’ll make sure you will eventually. Got it?”
You laugh, despite her tone. You’re well aware it’ll happen sooner or later.
“Yes ma’am.”
-
The drive to Jean’s lake house, a few days after spending the night baking with your close friends, is less awkward than you thought it would be. 
“Psych major huh?” Connie teases, playfully elbowing your ribs. You smile, playfully rolling your eyes. 
“Yeah. It’s less glamorous than it sounds, though.”
Ymir takes a turn, brown eyes focused on the road ahead. The sun was starting to settle, bathing the world in an orange light.
“Reiner is too, right?” Historia attempts small talk, looking at you from the rear view. Her acrylic nails gently tap her bright phone case. 
“Uh, yeah.” You answer, suddenly feeling a bit sour. It’s conflicting: you don’t want your Trost life and your Shiganshina “former” life to be tangled together, although it seems inevitable. “He’s uh, he’s in my class.”
Ymir snorts. 
“That guy realized he’s gay yet?”
“Ymir!” You exclaim, even though her words earn a genuine laugh from you.
“Babe, you can’t say stuff like that.” Historia gently scolds her girlfriend, giving you a don’t mind her look. “What if he hasn’t told anyone about it?”
“Oh, please.” Sasha chimes in, through mouthfuls of potato chips. “He posts Berthold on his private account almost every day.”
Connie laughs – no, cackles actually. She’s got a point. The blond has a tendency to post pictures of his lover every now and then, drinking coffee together or having dinner at downtown Trost. 
“True that.”
At that point, your soul almost leaves your body upon realizing your friends, who know nothing about who you are now, have access to Reiner’s private social media account. It shouldn’t shock or bother you in any way – unless they put the pieces together. 
-
You arrive an hour or so after the rest of the group. 
There’s loud simultaneous calling of your names, someone calling Ymir out for being late as always (which she responds with a middle finger), Connie running towards the welcoming sofa placed in the middle of the living room. Looking around the scene, you smile, feeling like you were watching a movie. 
You see your friends interacting with each other, as you grip the handle of your duffel bag a bit harder. It feels like you’re a fly on the wall, frozen in time, doomed to watch life happen around you as your feet sink further into the hardwood floor. Armin is the first person to notice you – or, at least, the first person to be vocal about it – snapping you from your constant daydreams. 
He says your name, approaching you with a bottle of beer in hand. His kind blue eyes seem softer, not hidden behind his blond locks anymore. 
“It’s been so long, it’s good to have you back.” He offers, and you hug him.
Armin doesn’t mention the visible changes: your haircut is wilder now, but it still feels like you. There’s a few tattoos adorning your arms, peeking through your shirt. You stopped getting your eyebrows done, but it suits you better. The clothes you’re wearing are stylish, that much he can tell – although not in Shiganshina. 
Leaving for the big city really has changed you. It looks like Trost allowed you to grow into this new version of you – or, if Armin is reading this right, you’ve always been like this: Shiganshina just never allowed you to exist like this peacefully. 
“Yeah, you’re right.”
It’s been too long. Long enough for you to become someone else, you think.
“C’mon, let me show you your room. You’re staying with Sasha, I think” He says after you greet the rest of the group – which takes up about  half an hour of small talk and lies from your part, and questions from them. Yeah, Trost is amazing. Psychology is a great choice, I know. Visiting is hard, with constant exams and all that. I’m glad you guys understand. 
Armin leads you towards the stairs, before turning around and making a wait gesture towards Mikasa. 
It’ll be a long weekend.
-
Twilight is long gone, and the sky is washed in its regular black color, beautifully adorned with stars that are only visible in this sort of place. It’s the type of night that calls for drinks and exciting conversation. It’s less overwhelming than you thought it would be like, due to the fact you aren’t the only one who has been gone – although you’re the one who’s been hiding for the first time, avoiding your hometown friends like the plague. No one seems to address it, though, and for that you are grateful. 
You’re a few shots in, finally starting to let loose. It feels magically nostalgic to have the whole group together. You haven’t met up like this in ages, due to most of your friends leaving Shiganshina behind to follow their own path. It seems like you’re the only one to hide and rarely come back, though.
“Truth or dare?”
A nostalgic night calls for nostalgic games.
Ymir’s voice sounds meaner than usual, almost as if she’s taunting you with her words alone. The chatter around you dies down a bit, as a few people – mostly Armin and Jean – stop what they’re doing – stalking Sasha’s new boyfriend on social media – to watch your answer. 
You can feel your heartbeat picking up, as you unconsciously press your fingernails against your palms, creating half-moon shapes. You can feel Ymir’s laughter bubbling inside of her, regardless of the choice you make. But mostly, you can feel Mikasa’s eyes on you, and it feels like you’re the lamb who accidentally entered the lion’s den. 
“Dare.”
A variety of things happen simultaneously once the word leaves your mouth, before you could even rationalize it. Connie whistles and, as you previously imaginez, Ymir cackles – which causes Historia to shush her, attempting to protect your honor. 
You can’t bring yourself to understand why you chose dare, in the first place. Although, it felt freeing to let someone else choose your fate for you, even if it’s just a teenager’s game. Perhaps, what you’re not willing to admit to yourself yet, is the fact you know Ymir might help you make the decision you’ve been laying off for some time now. 
-
Mikasa has always been the coolest kid you know. 
Ever since you became acquaintances during freshman year, when you had braces and didn’t know how to properly do your makeup – Mikasa has had a special shine about her. You remember briefly bonding with her over the same bands you liked, given the fact she would wear metalcore band shirts like it was the school’s uniform. With her dark hair contrasting against her pale skin, and a pair of doe eyes that made all of the boys melt instantly, it was obvious she would end up like this – not popular, but cool. 
You can even recall a moment of jealousy or two, as the hairy green monster clawed at your chest repeatedly. The feeling of your eyes burning at the scene of Mikasa and Eren making out at prom, dancing together as if the world belonged to them, is something that you have engraved in your mind, deeply so. Going to college, meeting new people, having new experiences everyday – that helped you with the process of finding out who you really are, who you’ve been all along. 
It wasn’t until you turned twenty two, about to graduate university, that you realized you were never jealous of Mikasa because she got the boys’ attention – you were jealous she was dating someone who wasn’t you. 
-
“Hmm, let’s see…” Ymir’s voice echoes through the living room, filled with outdated but expensive furniture. “I dare you to spend an hour in the basement.”
You snort. That seemed like an easy task, which makes the butterflies in your stomach die down a bit. You get up from your spot between Reiner and Annie, ready to spit a smart comment to Ymir, when her voice cuts through your eardrums again, causing your blood to freeze.
“With Mikasa.”
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htsan · 4 months
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Going anon because im self conscious but agreed with your last post about the big Booba women thing (also, I'm an adult, 22)
Don't get me wrong as an aromantic gay(/bi because nb ppl are cheff kiss and sometimes women do be pretty as fuck, but me getting weird over labels it's not why I'm sending this) man, a nice muscular body is beautiful...
That being said if I see a happy trail on a big tummy or a pair of nice man boobs I'm ascending (ahem how I see human sans ngl)
Anyway yeah, point of this, you're not alone, I'm tired of ppl deeming liking sans/pap/asgore as weird because they're represented as ND and/or fat, but SOMEHOW Toriel, and sometimes gaster, are seen as more acceptable because big booba and tall skinny older man (Tumblr sexy man)
Fuck cringe culture, kill the part of you that cringes not the part of you that is cringy
Also there's a deeper fatfobia, ableism & misogyny commentary within sexual and queer spaces in this that I don't have the energy to flesh out, but feel free to take the lead if you wanna talk about it, if you don't that's fine too
(also lots of love to you, love your art 💖💕)
(Context)
Thanks for confirming your age, appreciate it :3 edit: also thanks for saying I'm not alone, I just wanted to rant honestly, so thankies very much.
Sure, I hope I don't start any discourse in UT community, my previous rant is not actually about the UT community itself, but literally every community I've been on. I just used Undertale characters as an example bc this blog is UT related.
No minors reading this, thank you.
Peoples experience with communities are going different no matter what, to me in my experience, people are more accepting about anything that is a big booba. (Btw i say booba because i find it very adorable)
I'm not saying there aren't people who hate booba, I sure did, my culture had this weird thing to hate ALL types of 'sexual' things: Six packs (yep, no half naked allowed for both genders), BL, Yuri, kissing in public (yep including straights). Which is WHY I hated Sans. but the general concensus I have seen is that liking boobs is accepted now.
It goes so far as my friends asking me to "stop sharing pictures of fictional men" I find, when they were sharing pictures of fictional women first. We argued for 2 days about it, and of course this all comes down to taste, but why is my 'taste' (I wasn't attracted, I just find the way the artist drew muscles cool) suddenly weird?
I won the argument and they admitted they're just not into masculine men LOL. my friends are cool! I just wonder how are they so uncomfortable with muscular male bodies to the point they do not even want to see it drawn? (Like I was, but mine is extreme)
Not to mention the fact that cis/trans women and LGBT peoples taste I've seen are usually judged, criticised and needed to be policed bc its weird or a threat (esp towards trans people, dear lord ily trans ppl).
I do not think its because of internalised misogyny weirdly enough. It is correlated.
I think it's something to do that most content out there are for male audience, so we are used to its presence.
Think about it: most of the internet also aren't used to media for gay men as well,
Let me ask you this question "from all the western cartoons that had aired on TV, how many m/m kiss that was on screen versus f/f?" (You are starting to see it, right? Men like women so they're fine with f/f lol.)
While I will never know the true reason, people are different. I theorised the uncomfortable nature is from the lack of exposure of something they haven't seen, therefore they don't want to see it, aka it should not exist.
I think it all stems from that, this can cover the misogyny, ableism, AND fatphobia.
"wait is it really just bc theres no representation, with a tinge of people being a puritan?" Yea probably lol
While it is not an excuse, and not good. It doesn't change how it's not normal to see any of those things. It is uncomfortable, or became some sort of spectacle.
Also some discourse with ND characters, I've seen some people concerned of infantilizing, fetishizing them.
I know it comes from a place of concern. But I don't think it's their business to be involved with someone elses engagement of content, and everyone who has a crush on ND are going to be different. It's just..
Why is it the love for ND characters get doubted? Or even POC characters? Or trans characters? Why is it ALWAYS assumed the person is fetishizing these character?
(again this is not in the UT community lol, I speak this in experience for EVERY COMMUNITY I WAS IN. Idk how they've been evolving ever since.)
Then there is the concern of misogyny.
There's so many discourse over this, that some claim women have internalised misogyny for not liking female characters. I think this is the curse of paraphrasing another person to an audience, like I'm telling you all these people that I've talked to, but you never really met them. So you imagine diff interpretations of these people based on how I present them. It groups up people while othering them in the process, and I want to tell you all:
I don't think its a good idea to voice the worse assumptions of a group based on your interpretations of them.
It divides people (us vs them mentalitty). Like you CAN see in my original rant, I am not ranting about these people having misogyny. I am ranting of peoples double standards of female characters and preference. Which people CAN interpret as it being misogynistic. (I do interpret it as misogynistic, but I don't want to argue that it is misogyny, if that make sense? I want to argue the logic, not if the person is shitty or not. Because people can not be sexist while having that double standard.)
There is so many women in fandoms, not just in UT, women, and queers esp create a lot of things for fandom.
I have a theory and this is a WILD theory and generalise things, so disprove it all you want ;
The biggest reason why there is SO MUCH content for straight women by women in fandom spaces. Is because usually there is NOT A LOT of content that's cattered towards straight women in media (that isn't just rich fucks trying to get money off of them).
They create for themselves, and other women get inspired from reading it and then the cycle continues. Fandom is mostly the only space where content is cattered and created by them, this is including queer creators too.
Now. Internalised misogyny can happen, I see it happen a lot, it is good to practice if you are aware of it, I'm proud of everyone who had to check themselves. But don't assume it for every other person to have it, and if you DO see it, call out their double standards. If the person is based, they'd be silent and go along the lines of "hmm oh waw ur right, shit.."
But I don't think women have internalised misogyny for only liking male characters, if they were, they wouldn't be hanging out with other women who also like the same male characters.
It's good to check yourselves, but I don't think it's fair they constantly have to prove they do not have internalised misogyny from the media they engage with.
And for fatphobia: because I personally have pretty not so epic comments (rarely now, probably bc I haven't posted human sans in a bit though 😔)
Some people do not really hide it. As much as I'm an optimist, I don't think I can interpret it in any other way other than fatphobia, like here's some paraphrased comments I had:
"wtf why does he look like a baby?" Obese and chubby people have a baby face because of the fat that accumulate on their face. While I did not draw it that great, just understand I am trying to make him look like Sans undertale too.
"this is the most terrifying human Sans design I've ever seen (in the context of insulting it from a prev comment)" I'll take that as compliment lol.
"why do people rave about him and find him hot? 😭😭 Are we seeing the same man??" maybe bc people have a preference and the world doesn't revolve around you.. ? Idk man
Like dude I don't think this is not fatphobia, if they try to argue it's not, at the very least not be rude about it LOL.
But yea make your own conclusion to that. I just wanna rant, feel free to disagree.
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sexisdisgusting · 10 days
Note
can i say as an African Arab gril who belongs to a muslim culture,it's incredibly refreshing to see radfems be anti islam,nowadays not only do I have to worry about muslims who want me dead,right wing people using my beliefs to justify muslim genocide but also leftist calling me islamophobic and sending me rape and death threats cus apparently someone who can't speak Arabic and lives in America knows more about islam than someone who does speak it's language and actually lives in a muslim country,THANK YOU FOR NOT SUPPORTING AN IDEOLOGY THAT BELIEFS SUICIDE VICTIMS DESERVE AN ETERNITY IN HELL BUT A MAN WHO RAPES HIS WIFE IS INNOCENT👏👏💞💞
I. LOVE. YOU. SO. MUCH. ANONITA.
i was raised muslim as well, and the religion of islam, as all religions, is one of the most disgusting
this is maybe bias on my part because of my upbringing, but i digress
i agree!!!!!!!!!! being called 'islamophobic' for pointing out fucked up shit in islam by people who dont even understand WHY something is fucked up IS MENTAL!!!!!
im tired of the coddling of muslim men too (as if they can do no wrong), yes theyre minorities, but guess what? the majority of them are disgusting manchildren rapist fucks, so they can all go to hell looool
you know who else are minorities? the abused muslim women ignored by the media
ily anonita <3
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nalivaa · 1 year
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I just saw your drawing prompt post so if you don't want to, absolutely feel free to ignore this, but Mini!Faerie!Michael or Mini!Faerie!Adam on a flower or in a tree kind seems like the sort of fanciful setting you'd enjoy. Oh, or perhaps a thumbelina type drawing with one of them sitting on the other? Idk, I think a small version of one or both of them would be cute.
And I hope you feel better soon! Sending much love and hugs in the meanwhile <333
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beloved i'm so sorry this took me so long and for what 😭
but also you know me so well 💜 i saw this prompt and went absolutely feral i will revisit this au this is a threat
thank you so much for the prompt i know it took me a while to get it done but it made me feel much better at the moment you're so sweet ily 💜💜💜💜
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whydontyousaeso · 3 months
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can you please do an Damian Priest X Fem Reader Story (fluff with a little angst),,
They are both WWE Superstar's and also Dating (their relationship is also involved in The Judgment Day) and Reader has match against Zoey Stark and gets injured really badly and she's out of action and alone at their shared home and he's cames back home from an month long tour and reader is missing being together on the road with him and tear up and he comforts her immediately🥺
Home again
Damian preist x fem Reader
Warnings- talk about details of injury(broken arm), small depression rut, none other besides that
Type- Angst that goes into fluff
A/n- hiiii tysm for being my first request ily 🫶🫶 honestly this is a bit more angsty then it is fluff, but I tried my best with the prompt you gave me ! Feel free to send in some more if you like this, love you guys!
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This month had been hell for you.
Before you were stuck at home you were on Monday night raw, prepping for a match with your boyfriend, Damian Preist, and Rhea.
As you stretched out you listened to Rhea prep you up, this wasn’t that big of a match, but it would boost your career as a women’s star.
And if you could do that, you could win the royal rumble and take the championship from Iyo.
That was the plan.
That was always the plan.
You and Zoey had been feuding for a while. It started with a small argument between you and her, then spiraled into something bigger and bigger.
You watched on the screen in front of you, Kayla was interviewing her.
“When I get out there, I’m gonna make sure the break every bone in her body!”
Yeah right.
Yeah, right?
You never really took threats like that seriously. After all, if Shayna tried anything or if it got too rough Rhea could just interfere.
You didn’t expect them to actually be serious though.
“You got this mi amor, I love you”
You smiled and kissed Damian on the cheek
“I love you too D!”
The match started out well, you had the upper hand and you were working the crowd well with Rhea.
It wasn’t until she started to try and put you in the arm bar that you noticed something was odd.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
This was weird. She wasn’t even doing it right.
“Hey! What the fuck?!”
It wasn’t until she pulled all the way back and you felt your arm crack that you finally got the answer.
Luckily the ref saw as well, stopping the match instantly.
As soon as the bell rung Rhea was at your side, asking what was wrong and trying to get medical attention to you.
All you could really do was hold your now broken arm and wail in pain.
Eventually medics did come out and they were able to get you on a stretcher and roll you out. And luckily your boyfriend was waiting as soon as you hit backstage.
“Mi amor..”
Even with you being face to face with your boyfriend you couldn’t speak. How pathetic.
Unfortunately he wasn’t able to go with you either because he had tag titles to defend.
How unfortunate
It turned out that Zoey broke both your arm and collarbone. Putting you on the sidelines for a while.
Potentially out of the royal rumble.
So as you sat at your shared home, you had done nothing but sit in this spiral of what could’ve happened instead.
You hadn’t been able to properly shower because of the cast, and what you ate was minimal.
You felt horrible.
And you just wanted your boyfriend.
Oh how you missed your sweet, loving boyfriend.
You were able to call him every night, thank god. But still you just needed him to hold you close to him and tell you that everything was gonna be okay.
Fortunately, he was set to come home soon. But until then it was hell.
You were stuck in your bed all day, not being able to get up, but finally you heard the door open and a bag drop.
“Y/n?”
“I’m in here D”
It took less then 15 seconds for him to run to your bedroom.
You looked up at him and instantly burst into tears, feeling so many emotions jumbled into one small moment.
“Shhhh, it’s okay mi amor, it’s okay”
You melted into his touch, feeling his hands wrap around your cheeks, wiping away every tear that fell down.
“Damian, I missed you so much”
“Shhh I know, I’m right here now, don’t worry baby girl.”
You leaned into his chest, letting yourself feel the way it rose up and fell with every breath.
Suddenly you were at peace again. Your tears slowed down and all the emotions you had that was previously overwhelming you went away.
You closed your eyes and listened to his sweet mumbling, allowing yourself to finally release all the tension that you had built up.
You didn’t care about the rumble
You didn’t care about Zoey
And you didn’t care about the huge ass cast on your arm
You just cared about him.
His voice was smooth and deep, you could tell that he was talking with his chest this time.
Just the way you liked it.
As he heard and felt you had calmed down he helped you sit up better so that you guys were eye to eye.
“Do you feel better cariño?”
You nodded, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.
His warm cheek felt good against your cold lips.
He smiled and pulled you closer to him, kissing your neck in the process.
“How about we shower together, that way I can help you and we can both unwind. Then we can order some food and eat together.”
The idea had never sounded better.
Luckily Damian knew how to take care of your hair, and body in general. The shower felt amazing with him, especially since he was able to help in ways you hadn’t been able to due to your injury.
As you sat on your shared bed you smiled, this was how things were supposed to go. You watched Damian come back into the room with some pizza, plopping it right beside you before crawling into the bed.
You started to reach for the box, but Damian stopped you.
“Don’t worry Mami, let me feed you”
You groaned a little
”But Damiannn, you’re tired too!”
“Don’t worry about it cariño, you just focus on being pretty, which is natural for you”
You groaned again, listening to Damian chuckle softly as he pressed a piece of pizza to your lips.
You ended up smiling again though, you wouldn’t have this any other way.
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finniestoncrane · 1 year
Note
First of all: congratulations on the 500 followers! You deserve each and every one of them. I love your works, specially the ones featuring Ozzie <3
Okay, so, onto the request...
Today I feel extra touch starved, so would you be so kind as to write a One Bad Day Penguin x female reader with the following?
🤝 holding hands
🔴 i would never hurt you, you know that, right?
I'm sorry if this is not how the prompts work. Feel free to ignore if I misinterpreted them and of course, no pressure whatsoever! Thank you in advance if you feel comfortable writing my request 🥰
Shouting
one bad day!penguin x female!reader/holding hands thank you anon you are so sweet and so needlessly polite omg ily ;-; also his hands in OBD send me over the edge so well done i am drooling 💜 minors DNI!! 🔞 500 words, cw: fluff, big bad ozzy is very soft really, kissing requests are closed • kofi link • minors DNI • tag: finnie500
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Since Oswald had regained control of his club, and the majority of Gotham’s underworld, you had both adjusted to the change well. He still felt like the same Oswald Cobblepot you had met months ago, seemed like the same determined, ambitious, sweet and thoughtful man you had fallen for, dead set on helping him achieve, or re-achieve, his goals.
Somewhat naively, you hadn’t really considered what it might be like being with him as ‘The Penguin’. Risky, difficult, but you felt safe, protected by him. But part of you was still afraid of something you couldn’t quite put your finger on until it was right there in front of you, reaming in your face.
Or rather, screaming down the phone when you entered the room, leaving you standing there, unsure if you would ever be able to convince your legs to move again. Tension palpable, at least to you.
Sat at his desk, his entire body seemed to change, his voice deeper and more serious, growling almost at whatever poor soul was on the receiving end of his tirade. Threats, quickly and easily falling off his tongue like second nature, the violent imagery conjured perfectly in your mind to the point where you worried that you might not be able to stop picturing it when you closed your eyes. As you swallowed the building saliva, suppressing the nerves building up in your throat like bile, you made a choked, whining noise, and Oswald looked up.
When he noticed you, finally, he raised one finger, offering you a ‘one-moment’ and then a quick motion to lure you over to him. You followed, because you were obedient? Trusting still? Afraid? Desperate to be near him? There was an influx of emotions that all clambered together to get to the forefront.
As you approached him, slowly, unsure, he finished up the call, slamming the phone down into the receiver. You jumped lightly, and he was quick to put an arm around your hip.
“Hey, sweetheart! You ok?”
His voice was light again, soft and gentle, the Oswald you knew and loved. But you still couldn’t shake the nerves.
“Hey…kid?”
You hadn’t said anything yet, and all you could offer was a weak smile, your hand on his shoulder, thumb rubbing into it in a gesture of care. He could sense there was something wrong, and his brows tensed, furrowed, frowning at your unwillingness to share. But he pieced it together, pulling you in closer with his arm around you, shifting you onto his leg, one hand supporting your back, the other placed around your knee, fingers pressed into it in a firm grip.
“I would never hurt you.”
At your lack of response, avoiding his gaze, he lifted his hand from your knee to your chin, holding the front with his thumb, resting it on his palm, as he turned you to look at him.
“You know that, right?”
The sincerity in his eyes was all you needed. He was the same Oswald he always had been, it just might take a bit of getting used to.
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gremlins-hotel · 8 months
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✧・゚: ✧・゚:  ANON LOVE  :・゚✧:・゚✧
Just wanted to stop by and share what I love about you and it's your art! I could probably ramble on and on and on about your art for pages and pages but only a smidgen of it would even be coherent, especially when writing about the way you draw Russia! And I can't remember the name of the AU, but that render of America standing under I think a sign in the desert? The lighting, the drama, and I'm not sure if you have fics too, but just from that image alone, I just know I would read the HECK out of that!! I also love your archaeology Jones blog and all the stuff I get to learn, something that has to be one of my favorite things about this fandom, thank you for being such a wonderful part of it!
Now spread the love! (But no pressure!) You can tag someone to say what you love about them, or if you're shy like me, drop some love as anon in their inbox! There's never too much love for us to share with each other 💖
so i've had this sitting in my inbox for nearly two weeks, trying to think of how to respond. nothing eloquent came. so i am thanking you from the bottom of my cringe-loving heart and here to spread some of that love in the most obnoxious way possible.
@ironicorange i can't not start with my goof squad, my beloved, my sunbeam. i love you lots, more than i can say. thank you for always letting me be in your dms with insane words and ideas, we both grow closer to delirium each day. watch your back you whore i'm going to steal your hands so i can one day draw like you.
@abbittheturtle my beloved irl bestie, this creature would be wayward without you. you are a fucking jewel and i will eat your art at every opportunity. also seeing you be happy in working with metal and jewelry has been amazing. i hope you continue to enjoy it! i'm wishing you love and luck with your move and good luck in our upcoming semester! i will be coming up there. this is a threat.
@temtamoo our romerica echo chamber and transatlantic 5g connection is so strong dude. your ideas are deep and your art is stunning, i love to hear from you always, regardless of the topic.
@artistically-hershie from late-night crazy au ideas to invading your workplace establishment to give you a soul-crushing hug, seeing messages from you so we can both be giggly and nuts is the best. also ugh, bro, teach me to draw.
@sunnysssol clown duo, clown twins, the dumbass squad. i will slobber for your oc and your art right here, right now. can i just say i specifically love how you color eyes. like bro!! the sol eye stare. trademark it.
@dusklikescats to you, who was one of my first more steadfast buddies after rejoining hetalia, i know you aren't into it much now, but i still light up seeing your messages. you have an energy unmatched and a contagious laugh.
@snackbar-chez-paro i drooled over your art for a long time dude and similar to miq, you became a fast friend. i always adore seeing your headcanons on discord even if you say wonderful things my tiny anglo brain doesn't always understand. you're awesome!
@irlusa you, good sir, are a fucking angel. and i will smooch you on the lips. stop living so far away!! i'm gonna fight the state. you are far kinder than you let yourself think and your art style is so fucking soft i'm gonna sleep on it.
@picturespurple-68 i'm sending you to the camps for revealing my classified secrets (code for i'm definitely going to watch more shows and movies with you someday). you are so very quick on your feet with ideas and always have fun ones to share. i could slurp up your writing like a fuckign smoothie it's so wonderful. i love our conversations and our hangouts.
there are so many more people i would love to ping but then this post would be far too long. return rebloggers and likers and people in my askbox, those whose posts i see on my dash and interact with, names i have come to recognize and associate with the crazy tunglrites, i salute you. and ily guys.
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toiletwipes · 9 months
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WHY IS EVERYONE GANGING UP ON SMUT WRITERS ALL OF A SUDDEN??? I’ve been reading ur shit (affectionate) since 2021 and it’s never been this bad?!?! Or maybe my memory is shit. WHY ARE THESE CRUSTY ASS HATERS HOUNDING PPL TO DELETE SMUT OF SOMEONE WHO AINT NEVER GONNA SEE IT
First of all akfjsjdhdhd ily thanks for sticking around. I don't even. I don't even want to think about 2021 but it's nice that we made it so far.
A little bit of a long post below
But seriously. Don't send hate. Either to me or to the people who don't like smut. If you're a follower of mine or another smut writer, sending hate to someone, in our defense, who doesnt condone us or our actions- it doesn't do us any favors. And it won't stop me writing smut.
But yeah. I've never seen hate towards us this bad?? Or at the very least, I've never received hate this bad. (And let's be real, the hate isn't even bad. This is like the first time I'm getting hate.)
But it might be because some of the people that said they don't condone smut or the writers that post it- they might have a larger following- and I'm not saying they are sending their followers to send hate towards us. Let's get that straight. I also don't believe they would send hate themselves.
Despite what either of us believe or post, everybody knows that sending hate, especially fucking death threats is not cool. It's not necessary. And it is cruel.
I think what's happening is yeah, some people are hurting and they feel the need to take it out, as horrible as it is to say, on others. This just happens to be convenient. Or they have a savior, God complex. You name it, it doesn't matter. They sent hate, threats. They're a little rotten inside.
Besides, it doesn't matter at this point, does it? It doesn't matter that he doesn't see it, they see it and they see it's wrong. I don't. It's just fanfiction. I know the difference between what is real and what is just words. A story. My words are explicit, yes. They're not for everyone. I am not planning on showing it to him. On sending it to him. Nothing like that. I'm writing fanfiction and minding my own business. My friends got hate and they were hurt by it. That's why I'm speaking up at all.
And again, send hate to NOBODY. We're definutely not sending hate ourselves, we know what it's like on the other end. So please.
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sagescider · 9 months
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From a different anon, please don't kys :) it's so unneeded and cruel when people decide to be like that for no reason. Keep going strong!!
TYSM ILY DIFFERENT ANON!!! i am lucky enough to be a pretty stable person so i’m not really bothered by pre-teen inspired internet threats, BUT i am very thankful for all the cool awesome people who follow me, and you for putting time into sending this, love y’all!!
(also sorry about the lack of art lately i just got a job and i have like no free time for non-zine, non-study-related art 😭 hopefully i’ll get used to the time crunch soon!!)
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geekedoutbunny · 1 year
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i fucking hate u herms (affectionate) but ur writing are so <333 (ily/p)
so since noria already wrote abt the main 3 being a yandere..what if we reverse it around and the reader BECOME the yandere for them themself? like we just try to keep your yandereness a secret but they somehow found out?
and ofc the Gerard, Askin, Hime, and Quilge
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im a yandere whore leave me alone
Gerard\Askin\Orihime\Quilge Headcanon - Crazed Love
😘❤
Yandere reader huh? Interesting, interesting. I'll see what I can do for you!! Thank you, for sending in this request, I'll be sure to bring it justice, hopefully, it's to your liking.
MASTER LIST | NSFW CONTENT
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Gerard
He honestly would never notice, he'd just think that you're extremely protective, possessive and just insecure. He'll try and keep you happy by always staying close to you and always reassuring you that he was the strongest of the quincies and that you're the most beautiful soul he ever met.
He'll never think twice about the fact that you have pictures of him all over your room, he'll never think twice about the fact that you keep sharp knives in the house, he'll never think twice about any of it. He won't even know that it's an issue until someone like Jugram or Nodt brings it to his attention, that you're a little weird. He'll brush them off, saying that they were disrespecting you.
But he will admit, that you were a little strange.
Orihime
She wouldn't notice for quite a while, it'll never make her concern or worried, simply because nobody ever came over. Even at school, she'll never think twice about the fact that you practically threatens Ichigo and Uryu 24/7. She will just think that you were just extra protective of her.
She won't start thinking that it's strange and concerning, until you openly admit that you wanted Uryu dead. She'll lecture you on why you shouldn't want that, and why you shouldn't even think of it. But you'll argue with her, and she'll argue with you back. It'll go back and forth until you reveal your true emotions, and then she'll understand.
She'll want her distance from you for a while, thoughts of her brother when he turned into a hollow will cross her mind, but eventually she'll come to terms with the fact that you weren't that monster, and that you were just madly in love and just didn't understand how to be in a proper relationship. So she'll help you.
Step by step, you'll become more relaxed, it was a slow process, but she was willing to work with you.
Askin
He'll notice almost immediately, and he won't like it. He'll give you one warning and one warning only. "Nobody owns me, but myself, and if you ever try, I'll kill you." He always kept his promises. You'd get slightly possessive, but never to where he deems you as a threat, just enough to roll his eyes.
He won't mind you much, and he'll even find you comforting in a way, since you never changed, you were like a sense of normalcy in his life, but the moment you try and take complete control of his life, that's when he'll draw a line, and you won't get a warning, it'll just be immediate decapitation.
Quilge
He'll notice it immediately, and he'll laugh at you. He'll laugh the heartiest laugh, before he shows you what a real yandere looks like. He'll keep you locked in a basement and will only come down when he misses you or when you need food and water. Once he feels that you're an obedient pet he'll let you walk around the house, but if you have any guests over he'll lock you away immediately, he didn't want anyone looking at you.
He'll remind you everyday that you weren't your own person, you were his and his alone, and once he was tired of you, he'll slaughter you.
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MASTER LIST | NSFW CONTENT
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eddiesbuck · 8 months
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hiii abi congrats on 2k!!! u are amazing and u deserve it!! 💖
can I do 🎨 + buck (and perhaps some noah kahan lyrics of your choosing if it inspires)
and also ✨️ + nymsedits / nymsart / nymwrites (plz feel free to just choose one of those to rec from I don't expect u to scroll through all three skdjsdn)
sending u lots of love I can't wait to see more of your amazing creations 🥰
meggg!! thank you my love!! coming from you this means so much 🥺
and guess what i'm gonna go through all your tags bc you're insanely talented and deserve all the recs <3 like you're actually a triple threat that's insane and ily
just some faves bc i love everything you do:
gifsets
this buck gifset is absolutely insane (in all the best ways) like i actually think about this all the time. the blending is impeccable, like you blended so many scenes together in each gif i'm in awe teach me your ways pls <3
yoyok + buck this is another gifset that i think about all the time like you chose the perfect scenes and i'll never get over that gif with the montage of kisses or the transition with the jeep. and all your typography is gorgeousss i'm obsessed
art
buddie + scars okay so i think we're coming to see that you live rent free in my brain meg. you're so insanely talented and this art punched me in the gut and burned down my home and made me watch. it's just so soft and tender?!? if we ever get anything like this in the show i will promptly pass away
memories that remain - part 1 original art too?!? spare some talent i'm begging. i loveee all the little details and the spooky/eerie vibe that comes across perfectly, and all the muted colours you chose as well
fic
i tear myself down (to be built back up again) i loveee a good buck character study fic and this just perfectly captures his psyche. i'd read 100k more words of this if i could <3 and i loveee how soft you write buddie
thanks for sending this in!! and your gifset request is on the list! i've got two songs in mind that i'm not completely decided on yet - one stick season song and one from his 2021 album - let me know if you have any preferences!
join my 2k celebration!
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