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lua-magic · 5 months

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Intresting observation in astrology.

If fourth house and second house has malefics like Saturn, north node, south node, Mars usually it shows lot of family trauma and toxic home .

Such natives are generally advised to leave their house and settle somewhere else.

Saturn + moon conjunction shows emotionaly unattached mother.

However, there is another aspect of this placement it also suggests highly spiritual mother, who loves her culture and are deep thinker.

Saturn Moon conjunction could make person suicidal or depressed

Saturn+ Moon could also make extremely focused and hard working.

Venus is sperm in male's chart, fiery planets like sun and Mars in seventh house or Mars or sun conjunct with Venus decreases the sperm count in Man.

Second house is also your way of speaking.

Malefics like North node, Sun and Mars makes person rude and straight forward. Such natives when they speak people misunderstand them for fighting.

Native with exalted moon or moon in second house or fourth house has best intuition.

North node and south node combined with moon also gives native intuition.

Second house is also your taste and food.

People with sun in second house prefers boiled food, Mars in second house prefers fast foods, North node in second house prefers spicy food .

Saturn in second house could give addiction to alcohol, tea, and coffee.

Venus and moon in second house prefers variety of foods in their plate.

Sun with Venus natives loves to add extra salt to their food .

People who have moon with Mercury or Mercury in fourth house or moon in third house procrastinate alot ...

Virgo is extremely active sign, heavy planets like Saturn, Jupiter and south node increaseas your debt and gives you suicidal thoughts..

Saturn with Venus or Venus in Capricorn people hardly bother about their physical body, they usually don't pay attention to their physical appearances.

Mercury in Libra makes person asexual.

Venus in Libra makes person flirty.

Sun in Libra cause ego clash with their partners.

Mars in Libra, pieces, and cancer makes native highly reactive and short tempered.

Mars with moon also gives natives anger issues.

Aquarius placements usually look for short cuts, Mercury in Aquarius people are careless about their documents, and forgets name frequently.

Mercury in Aquarius placements native usually learns language fast and usually knows more than two languages.

Venus in pieces people are extremely careless about their money and give money fast, thay love to enjoy luxury but are also spiritual.

Combination that makes you spiritual.

Jupiter Moon conjunction.

Moon with south node

Sun or Jupiter or Venus in pieces.

Jupiter in ninth house, fifth house or eighth house, twelfth house.

Saturn in eitgth house, Saturn with moon or Saturn in twelfth house.

Any planets that goes in eitgth house or twelfth house will pull you towards spirituality.

Sun in eighth house or sun with south node causes separation from father.

Jupiter in eighth house natives suffer from breathing problems.

Venus in third house could give sometimes same sex marriage

Mercury with south node detaches native from sexual desires.

Saturn with Mercury also detaches you sexually.

Mercury with Mars conjunction natives are extremely Frank and have got great sense of humour as well.

North node in second house give natives money but also give lot of insecurities about their money.

Second house is Also about your income source.

Saturn moon combination also makes you good in cooking..

Moon and Venus third house natives loves to listen to romantic songs.

Mars in third house people love to hear music in high volume and loves rap and hip hop music

Jupiter in third house loves to hear songs about God.

Saturn in third house hears sad songs.

Saturn conjunct with north node natives should be extra careful about their body.

#occult #spirituality #vedic astrology #astro community #astro observations #astro notes #astrology

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absolutebl · 6 months

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Okay, FINE, the shows you should watch for BL's QUEER AF roots

You ready to go hunting?

Many of these are difficult to find. Also many of the images of them and their posters have been block/banned by tumblr, so, no screen grabs for you! (Good times.)

I don't necessarily *like* any of these, but if you are queer and in this fandom and need to dialogue around BL's queerness - these are going to provide a foundation for you. They are important for various industry, reputation, directorial, and cultural reasons. As seeds often are.

Trigger warnings throughout.

The true beginnings:

Boys Love, Japan's 2006 movie is a REALLY rough start featuring a journalist + hot model = murder gay, mild necrophilia, cheating, abuse, rape, and suicide for love. Start as you mean to go on, why don't you, Japan? Is it queer... maybe? Is it BL... honey, I am very sorry to inform you, this started BL.

Note: Yoshikazu Kotani is famous in og BL circles since he acted in 3 early BLs, both Boys Loves and then Same Difference. Also he v tall and hawt.

Eternal Summer, Taiwan 2006 - unlike Japan, Taiwan did NOT start how it would, eventually, go on. But what a messy way to start. A high school story of 3 besties in a love triangle, self discovery, and sexual awakening that fucks it all up.

No Regret, Korea 2006, is a very unhinged queer catastrophe piece about a lost gay man who ends up a host and then almost a murderer because of both his job and his identity.

Note: This is the directorial feature film debut of Lee-Song Hee-il Korea's (so far as I know) first openly gay director who specialized (to this day) in queer content.

The Love of Siam, Thailand 2007, this was Thailand's queer awakening, sure they would backpedal for YEARS after, but in 2022 they began to remember what this movie was (and did) and overtly referenced this quiet little masterpiece. This movie is sad but stunning in that way that the best queer works from Thailand can be (like Present Perfect or ITSAY.) It has Thailand's quintessential softness around theme and character, which you'll understand perfectly when highlighted against the backdrop of the early 2000s works from Japan, Korea, and Taiwan. Thailand will never lose this soft style and it's one of the most attractive qualities of Thai BL: it's never very harsh with us or its characters. This movie very easily COULD have been quite harsh indeed.

I thought long and hard about including Rice Rhapsody AKA Hainan Chicken Rice (Hainan ji fan) on this list and finally decided it doesn't really qualify. Still let me mention Hong Kong's 2005 movie. It is amazing, fascinating, and very rough going for an ostensible comedy. It wasn't the actual beginning because few saw it and Hong Kong never really picked up or ran with BL let alone QL, but it was hella queer. It's also hella homophobic.

Just Friends? (2009 Korea) - this is Korea's first (kinda) upbeat version of a BL featuring already established boyfriends, one of whom is on military leave, trying to decide on coming out, family life, and the future. All of these are themes Korea will pretty much never tackle again, retreating as they would to their bubble. But what a fun little offering this little show was and is to this day. You should watch it.

Like Love 1 AKA I Love You As A Man: Part 1 - China's 2014 offering is actually pretty classic early form live action yaoi with things like whipping boy, a university setting, rich/poor jock/nerd pairing, hard grumpy/sunshine and a very odd title. It's pre-censorship with an HEA, also explicit, yeah China once did that. This is a lot less queer that it is classic BL and classic Chinese romance, neither of which have any kind of connection to reality. But hey, that's what I'm here for. But it's important to note the drifting away from queerness beginning to occur.

Love Sick - Thailand's 2014 "boys in blues shorts" high school set soapy (in all ways) offering is widely considered the true beginning of Thai BL and by default, eventually, BL as we know it today. (As the biggest producer they somewhat dictate taste and trends in the genre.) This is one of those BLs that owes almost nothing to yaoi, although it started a number of tropes that are now endemic to Thai BL. What it is, instead, is a well scripted story of bisexual self-discovery and the inherent chaos of loving someone of the same gender for the first time, all wrapped up in hormones, existing relationships, and communication issues. It is high school queer angst at its messiest. Nothing is going to be easy for these boys because queer isn’t easy but also because life isn’t easy… welcome to adulthood sweethearts. Is is overtly queer? For 2014 Thailand? Sure is.

Love Next Door 2 a movie from 2014 and one of Thailand’s early very high heat pieces, it’s odd, but sexy I guess? Some unexpectedly decent queer rep including femme characters getting screen time + HEAs. (Part one from 2013 has the same high heat content and features the same lead character (and actor) discovering he is gay with the sex worker next door, but isn't as good nor is it relevant to this installment.)

A few other unknowns, for the queer babies

Wait For Me at Udagawachou AKA Udagawachou de Matteteyo - from Japan in 2015, this is a story about two boys in high school one of whom is a repressed outsider and the other who has a terrible secret (body dysmorphia & cross dressing). When the first boy discovers what's up with the second one, his reaction is very much fetishization. "Oh Japan must you?" kinda started for me with this show. But in this case, Japan, weirdly MUST. This is the ONLY show laboring under (and testing) a pointedly straight lens (or is it?) and identity examination (yes but which boys' identity? that's the question) that I've EVER seen even edge into the BL genre. It is crazy queer, even as it mostly focuses on the fetishization of identity from an outsider's perspective. I WISH more people in fandom would watch it so I could at least talk to someone about it.

The Lover (BL Cut) Korea's 2015 series had multiple couples in an apartment complex, one pair of whom is a BL romance between a Korean man and a visiting Japanese tourist (played by a Kpop idol). It's comedic, slapstick sexy only (no kissing), but basically starts up Korea's bubble and use of idols in BL. It's kinda fascinating to watch them dodge around and still represent gayness in what (is sadly destined to become) a very Chinese way, but which Korea in pursuit of Hallyu and market share would morph into the bubble.

Mr. X and I from China in 2015 is a compilation piece and, I think, the first of this kind of multiple narrative shorter grab bags AKA "Sampler Pack BL." Two of the stories are very queerly sad, but the third is CLASSIC BL of the kind that would become China's best (and last) true BL, Addicted.

Sweet Boy, (Thai 2016) Chimon's first gay role and it is quite sad, oddly sexy, and similar to Dew the movie or My Bromance (just so you know what you are in for) but the acting is on point. When Thailand goes dark, this is how they do it, but this is rough going for baby queers because that's the darkness it is exploring. Our old thematic friends: the pain of self discovery and coming out into a homophobic environment and unfriendly reality, and the cost of being the one able (and willing) to stay in the closet.

Method (Korea 2017) this movie is a May/December actor/idol pairing, that should have been everything I wanted in life but is more about the older character cheating on his wife and their weird “artsy” relationship and frankly, I hated it. And I don’t say that lightly. Is it queer? Who tf knows, but is sure has some interesting things to say about the nature of PERFORMATIVE queerness.

Red Balloon is Taiwan's 2017 precursor BL to their biggest and most famous prestige piece Your Name Engraved Herein. If you're making a choice, choose that instead, but this series certainly paved the way for it to come into existence. Both shows tackle the pressures of culture and social structures on self acceptance and identity and the loneliness inevitably caused by conflict between the two.

(As indeed does Life Love On The Line, Present Perfect, Grey Rainbow, Tropical Night, My Sky, and many other queer meets early BL pieces that revolved around coming out and family acceptance.)

China's 3 2017 "they tried to censor the gay... and it went HORRIBLY wrong":

Beloved Enemy,

The Fairy Fox,

Mr. CEO is Falling in Love with Him.

Honestly these 3 are basically the uncanny valley of BLs.

The Novelist AKA The Pornographer series (2018-2020). Messy psychological machinations, gaslighting, fetishization, sexual corruption, and more good times from "well, what did you expect?" Japan, but also no holds barred queer, just well and truly fucked in the head (and arse) about it.

The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese AKA Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru (Japan 2020) - Drama llama queers so queer and so dramatic it's like Japan is trying to PROVE something: obsession, cheating, break-up, reunion, then break up again, all of it explicit. This show is just SO JAPANESE. I can't even, but you should watch it and you'll know exactly what I mean. Something like My Personal Weatherman owes it's lineage to this kind of BL. If you like Japan naked, boney, emo, and smoking (hot & ciggy) you will love this, and should watch it. It's objectively amazing, I can't stand it, but I NEED people to talk about it more.

More Queer Stuff about BL from moi

BL Linguistics & Queer Identity - I Am Gay versus I Like Men

Will BL Get More Honestly Queer?

Actually gay, not BL gay - the idea of “by queers, for queers, about queers,” the BL bubble, sanitized gay, and a queer lens

Queer lens (from the director) and chemistry (from the actors) in BL (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Touch & Daisy in Secret Crush On You - Queer Coded Language and 3rd Gender Identity

BL in Taiwan & Gay Marriage

Debating Queerbaiting in BL ( + Devil Judge… is it queerbaiting?)

BL Actors and the Assumption of Queerness - outing actors, coming out, being out, more: Is that BL actor actually queer?

So is it really fetishization? straight women loving bl

Some BL fans are sasaengs, and it’s a problem in this fandom

BLs That Highlight How Society Treats Queers

10 BLs That Are Honest to a Queer Experience

If you like these kinds of shows try the "Moody Arthouse Smackdoodle" section of this post too.

Happy watching!

(source)

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sunflowerxthoughts · 1 year

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And yet another thought about Eddie. More like a angsty thot. But Eddie and you "hate" eachother. You don't really call him any names but since you are a cheerleader the guy can't stand you so you just give him the same energy back.

And one night you two end up fucking, and it's so so nasty and he is using major foul dirty talk to you and he is just overall rough, because apparently to him it's just a hate fuck and both of you are so high. There is no aftercare, nothing.

What Eddie didn't know because you two got caught up in the moment is that you were, in fact, a virgin. And he doesn't find out until he over hears Chrissy talk about it and he just panics.

"What's up with Y/N? They seem out of it." Carly asks Chrissy. "They seem so sad."

"They lost, um you know, it this weekend and it was bad apparently."

"They're sad over bad sex? God I'd be depressed then."

"Not like that. Apparently the guy was super rough with them, and didn't take care of Y/N after the whole thing. They just... Left."

"What?"

"My thoughts, exactly."

"But who the fuck did thay? They are far too sweet to have someone treat them like that, I don't get it."

"They won't say..."

Naturally, Eddie is both stunned and heartbroken. And so mad with himself. No matter how much he might dislike you (not that he does, he just pretends to because it is easier than telling you he loves you.) this just feels unfair to anyone but specially you.

So he confronts you as soon as he sees you.

"Hey can we talk?"

"Huh?"

"I assumed you weren't a virgin. I shouldn't- I wouldn't-" Eddie is not as good with wording feelings as he is wording songs.

"Eddie, it's okay, I should have told you."

"No! Don't you dare!" He dies a little inside because you are not bickering with him as usual and it's not fair to just forgive him. "It's not okay."

"But I wanted it, Eddie. And I wanted it to be you."

"But it should have been different. Sweeter at least. I didn't even take care of you after, you could have fallen into subspace and then what?"

"And when you woke up what, Eddie?"

"What do you mean?"

"We would have woken up, argued, you'd realized you regret sleeping with me and then I would have gone home both angry and sad. I was saving you the trouble."

"But it wasn't a mistake! I wanted to sleep with you. Shit this isn't how it was supposed to go, but I like you, so fucking much. And then we fucked and I lost track of everything but please, please let me make it up to you, show you how sorry I am."

And you are a bit suprised by the reaction but let him either way, and that same night he has a whole redo of the night and shows you exactly how nice he can make you feel and how you should be treated afterwards. Eddie is ready to show you you deserve the world and to explore with what you desire, not just a high hate fuck.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson smut

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tayrcse · 11 months

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Everyone And No One

✎ summary: You and Steve have been dating for a year, and it’s been the best year of your life. But when the wedding invitation for Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers’ wedding comes in the mail, you can’t help wondering if he still has feelings for his first love. Will he prove his love to you? Or will he leave you standing alone in the middle of the dance floor?

✎ warnings: angst, allusions to sex, insecurity

✎ characters: Steve Harrington, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, Ted Wheeler, Karen Wheeler, Robin Buckley, Dustin Henderson, Vickie

✎ word count: 906

Hold me while you fall asleep

Tell me I’m in all your dreams

‘Cause it’s good, yeah, it’s alright, just you and me

We lay all day in your room

Then pick up our Thai for two

‘Cause it’s good, yeah, it’s alright, just you and me

Waking up used to be the thing you dreaded most. That was until you and Steve moved in together. Now, as you open your eyes for the first time that day, you’re met with Steve’s sleeping face. He has you tightly wrapped in his arms and you smile at the scene. Feeling your stare, Steve’s eyes flutter open, and he smiles when he sees you.

“Mornin’ gorgeous,” he mumbles sleepily.

“Good morning,” you reply.

Turning and pulling you on top of him, he says, “I dreamt of you last night. It didn’t do you justice. The real thing is so much better.”

You laugh, leaning down to place a kiss on his lips. “Got any plans for today?” You ask against his lips.

“Nope. You?” Steve replies.

“None,” you say, smiling.

“Good,” he answers before flipping you so that you’re under him. A breathless laugh escapes you before his lips are on yours again.

You and Steve stay in bed tangled in each other until 1:00 in the afternoon. “As much as I hate to do this, I’m starving,” Steve says, breaking the comfortable silence you were in.

Looking up at him from your spot nestled at his side, you ask, “How does Thai sound?”

And maybe I think too much

But am I the one you want?

When that wedding invite comes, will I still be your plus-one?

Would you pull me to the center for that slow song?

Introduce me to your friends and where they’re all from?

Am I the one you want? Am I the one you want?

When we’re at a crowded bar and everybody’s talking

Will you still hold me when your ex’s parents walk in?

Honestly, I think about it all too often

Am I the one you want when everyone and no one’s watching?

Sitting at your kitchen table after picking up your food, you watch as Steve goes through the day’s mail. He pauses at one in particular. A fancy white envelope.

“What’s that?” You ask, setting your fork down.

“Nance and Jonathan are getting married,” he replies quietly, still staring at the invitation. You swear he looks… sad almost.

You don’t forget that look on his face for the rest of the day. You knew about his history with Nancy Wheeler, but you had never felt threatened by her until now. His sad expression made you wonder if he was still in love with her. The fact that he didn’t want to talk about the wedding at all didn’t help.

You wondered if he would invite you as his plus-one. And if he did, would he introduce you to all the friends he and Nancy shared? In a crowded room, would he still hold your hand? Would he drop it when Nancy’s parents walked in the room? Are you still the one he wants when everyone is watching?

I’ve had a good thing before

But it stayed behind the closed door

And went from good, then to, alright, to nothing at all

As much as you tried not to, you couldn’t help but think back to your past relationships. You couldn’t help but think about how they started off like your relationship with Steve: private. No one ever thought you were good enough to be shown off publicly, and all your relationships dwindled out because of it. You thought your relationship with Steve was different, but maybe you weren’t meant to be anything more than a hidden treasure.

That wedding invite comes, will I still be your plus-one?

Would you pull me to the center for that slow song?

‘Cause you know I’d dance with you all night long

You were proven wrong when Steve invites you to come to the wedding with him as the two of you were getting ready for bed. You gladly accept.

The wedding takes place six months later. Steve hasn’t left your side since you arrived. He introduces you to his best friends Robin and Dustin as well as Robin’s girlfriend, Vickie. As you’re getting a drink at the crowded bar, you notice Ted and Karen Wheeler approach you, and you feel Steve pull you closer against him.

After the bride and groom’s first dance, Steve pulls you to the dance floor. You can’t stop the smile that’s plastered on your face as all of your fears disappear.

Later, as you all prepare for the bouquet toss, you stand beside Robin, stealing glances at Steve whenever you can. Nancy stands on the stage, preparing to toss her bouquet as all the unmarried women gather around. With one last glance at Steve, you focus on the bouquet as it’s thrown in the air. Right to you. Before you know it, the room erupts in cheers as you hold the flowers in your hand. Steve runs to you, picking you up and spinning you in a circle before putting you back down.

“Guess we’re next, huh?” He asks, staring at you with all the love he can muster.

“Guess we are,” you reply, smiling from ear to ear. It turns out you were the one Steve wanted, whether everyone or no one was watching.

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington x reader angst #spotify #tayrcse

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lostmykiliel · 3 months

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MileApo being obvious or me being weird?

Mile's "hidden message":

I am partly joking when I say this, but isn't it weirdly fitting how Mile added this love song to this post with him smiling happily and holding red roses, at the same time that the "Without me" video dropped? Like he is telling us that he isn't really sad and no break-up happened IRL. If anyone is interested in my thoughts about the MV: [here]

Apo IGs are Mile focused today:

6/9 about his P'Mai. I bet if the Dior post wasn't due today, it would be Mile all the way.

Them flirting under Mile's Dior post:

(Google translate is a little off with the last, I think 'ordinary' is more like it. Bickering if Mile is cute or ordinary is making my brain melt.)

And under Apo's Dior post:

(According to Thai fans, Mile said "Brighter than flowers AGAIN". What do you mean again?!?)

#mileapo #me sharing my completely normal thoughts

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loveabledirtbag · 3 months

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2.02 - pasta

there’s something about opening on a black screen with a catchy, familiar song that just makes me into what i’m watching. i don’t know what it is about that particular edit, i fully recognize it about myself, and i don’t even strongly like the song “she drives me crazy” by fine young cannibals. BUT black screen, song comes on, quick cut to an arial shot of chicago in winter and it’s just got me going, “hell ya. let’s go.”

i liked the quick cut of a printed sign on the bear’s wall as they’re making plans, crossing off things they’re accomplishing and working on renovating the space for their grand opening, but there’s just a little printed sign that says “bear part two”, which is funny. because this is the bear, season two. but it’s also the first iteration of the bear, which makes the “in world” meaning of “the bear part two” kinda odd.

i love the familiarity between carmy and syd. it’s only on this, my 90th rewatch that i realize this is really the first time we see them sort of acting like friends and partners, more than work colleagues, and especially boss and employee. all last season they had friendly moments, but there was always an edge of: carmy is the boss, and syd is the employee. and no matter how friendly they were, and they were pretty nice and friendly, the two did an excellent job of having an element of feeling like they worked together. like if one of them were to introduce the other to a friend or family they would say: “oh, we work together”. even in the first episode of season two, they’re still friendly, and the power dynamic has shifted nicely since season one because they’re partners now, but they still have this air of “work friends”. but right away in episode two carmy and syd are walking through the shop talking about how syd’s dad is sem-supportive but doesn’t understand syd, and i’m only just realizing that it’s the first time they’ve really talked about personal things with each other non-chalantly. this is the first time in the show we’ve ever seen them be “friend friends” not work-friends…and yet, it’s so natural and easy i didn’t even realize the shift had happened until just now.

in one second we received; the first mention of syd’s mom. that she and her dad are going to her mom’s birthday dinner. AND, the fridge guy is on the phone, but because marcus threw the phone without anyone ready, it shattered on the ground. carmy will call the fridge guy back….right….?

i hate that the moment nat comes into the scene casually eating food while walking, my brain (which is so accustomed to stereotypes in media) said “oh! she’s pregnant!” and not “oh! she’s working hard and doing most of the detail work for the restaurant, so she’s eating on the go!” but, media tropes being what they are, my mind went to: PREGNANT

“you feeling okay, nat? you look a little pale”, “yeah. it’s just that sometimes i look like february.”, “….sure…” 1) amazing line. truly fantastic. 2) come on. nat’s pregnant.

fak and natalie’s “mom & son” relationship is so weird and i love it. “yes, my honey?” who actually says thay to another adult in a non-actually being someone’s mom, or a “non-bdsm” capacity? apparently nat.

“you alright? you want a sprite? you look kinda green.” 1) this line that richie says to nat will come back to be important in a few episodes. 2) this is the second time in like a minute that someone’s commented on nat’s appearance and her not looking great. so, she’s definitely pregnant. like, they’re not even trying to hide it, as they hide it.

ebra’s hesitation about going to culinary school BREAKS MY HEART. ugh. i love ebra. sad ebra makes me sad. “i don’t want to wear a uniform” and tina’s immediate “it’s not that kind of uniform.” implying he was thinking of his time in the army in samalia….UGH, EBRA!

however, excited tina, giddy at the thought of culinary school, is such a vibe.

fridge guy debacle continues: carmy calling the fridge guy, but getting interrupted as richie, fak, and marcus are trying (and failing) to move the lockers out of the space right outside his door.

also, (because of stereotypes in media) when carmy gives his number to the fridge guy, my first thought was “…so that’s gonna come up later.” because it’s easy to have written this scene without the phone number. sometimes a scene requires a number to be given and that’s that. but in this scene, it easily could have been different. so when carmy gives it, i knew we’d hear his number again. especially with how easy the number is to remember. (the classic 5-5-5 in the number. that happens in tv shows so often. someone has 5-5-5 in their phone number)

ok….so….again, i’ve watched this season like 100 times, and i think, I THINK, i understand why they have to open mikey’s locker to move it out? because it’s always confused me. the guys are struggling to open the locker, and they realize they have to open mikey’s locker which has been locked since his death. it’s a nice scene, and shows everyone’s acceptance and growth in the time since mikey has died. especially as richie puts a hand on carmy’s shoulder as carmy takes a moment right before he opens the locker. the tenderness and love between these two since season one is just incredible. but my thought was the stuff in the locker was too heavy making it harder to move? but the only thing in the locker is a hat from an event they worked in 2010. so, i’ve always been confused. the hat couldn’t weigh enough to make them not able to handle the lockers. i thought it was a clumsy way to get us to the emotional moment of finding the hat. BUT now i’m realizing that i think fak needed the locker open so he could get a better grip on his side of the locker and maneuver it easier? is that right? does anyone else actually know?

so syd and carmy go to carmy’s apartment. and in repeated viewings i’ve realized that it IS the same apartment from season one. we’re just getting better shots of it. and now i realize that his apartment is A DREAM! i mean, his kitchen is great, but the rest of his apartment is really nice. i’m legitimately jealous. they did a really nice job in season one (whether intentionally or not) making it look kinda like a shitty apartment. but there’s enough things i recognize in shots of his apartment in season two, that it’s definitely the same apartment.

the way carmy and syd avoid saying “michelin” in conversation, so that the show doesn’t have to pay for the copyright, is just fun. but i also love the two sides of the michelin chef spectrum. carmy who has experienced the shit you have to deal with of having them, and syd who is fresh and wants the recognition that comes with having one. in the light of how many restaurants and chefs are abandoning the michelin system, or are returning their stars, i think it’s a fascinating subtle storyline woven in this season. i’d love to see if it carries on into season three. knowing that it costs so much money to have a michelin star and that only one star has to do with the food.

“i will grant you [mold] has gained some traction in recent media cycles. it’s a buzzword, yeah, for sure.” what an iconic line from richie. as someone who has always been scared of mold….how is mold a recent buzzword? richie is unhinged and i love it.

once again, fak and richie getting their faces closer as richie dares fak to call mom (nat), and fak says he will, and they go back and forth just getting closer…..it has a weird sexual energy with it. i didn’t start this show shipping fak and richie, but i think they’d be cute together…

the scenes of ebra struggling at culinary school honestly break my heart. and tina encouraging ebra in his skills and him shakily saying “yes chef”….😭😭😭

i think it’s interesting that there’s a season long arch where just about everything syd cooks and makes tastes terrible. i think watching the show all at once makes the problem seem bigger than it was meant to be (at least to me), because we’ve been told how good of a chef she is, but we see her cook HER OWN creations and they all suck. it made me wonder how good she really was. which is maybe some of the point, but i think it’s showing that syd is still a chef that’s up and coming and learning. like carmy said last season, she’s very green. carmy is a chef with no end of awards and recognition, but we see him struggle with details and management. syd is inventive and quick on her feet, but we see that when she’s coming up with a recipe she fails a lot first. i think it’s meant to humanize her, or it’s a season arch to show her growth as the season continues.

the weird….dynamic of carmy thinking syd’s mom is alive (because she said “it’s my moms birthday dinner” and has never said “she died” or anything, so it’s an earnest and easy mistake). but when carmy asks her about her mom she just kinda….lies…?

i love the detail of signing “sorry” when something happens to just say “hey, let’s move on. this isn’t a big deal, and i’m sorry” is amazing. i’ve had little codes like that in service industry in the past.

nat’s lil’ monologue while sitting next to the messed up toilet while she’s on the phone with the plumber is great. and i love that she reveals that she’s pregnant (which again, easy to guess), but mostly i love that we’re not fulllllly sure if the plumber is a family friend, or a complete stranger. there’s SOME familiarity here obviously, but we’re not told if it’s enough familiarity for nat’s emotional word vomit or not. and that’s beautiful to me.

the pure comedic GOLD of “these ceilings are practically styrofoam, were we to have mold they would collapse when i go like this-“ hits ceiling. ceiling immediately collapses and proceeds to dump a pound of dirt, dust, and mold onto richie’s face. and then a kickball. and then richie looks up and goes “that’s it?” and a firefighter hat falls and hits his head. ugh. i can’t help but burst out laughing.

the reveal that syd’s mom is dead is so well done. the happy story, the smiles, and then lighting a candle on cake and them blowing it out while holding hands. the realization that what we, the audience, assumed was going to be a tense, awkward meal between two parents who had divorced but still got together to celebrate the moms birthday (for some reason), or maybe even the amicable celebration of a couple that divorced because they realized they weren’t good for each other and are “friendly” with each other. but instead it’s two people very much in love with a woman who has clearly died. ugh. it’s beautiful, it’s funny, and it’s heartbreaking, and it’s SUCH a simple and quick scene.

AND THEN, we move onto this scene at the grocery store. ok. here’s the thing. claire gets a LOT OF SHIT from people. a lot. and some of its fair and some of its not. SO. i’m gonna put my thoughts in their entirety HERE about her, and then when those instances come up in later episodes i might talk about them more in depth.

so, firstly, for the people who loved that the bear was a “sexless” show in season one, or that carmy seemed to be ace, or are carmy and syd shippers, or even those who claimed he was queer coded, there’s not much i can say to make you feel better. other than to say that the balance of work life and personal life is a super important one, especially in a show about a guy who has no personal life so that excel at his work life and has become burnt out by that process. so a romance or a deep relationship of some kind was a good choice for the show, because it brought about a storyline that i think is needed on carmy’s mental, and emotional health journey.

BUT the show trying to deepen that relationship with claire does so by simply “saying” it, and not showing it. which is the eternal issue with writers, especially when you have time, money, budget, and length of movie/tv series to deal with. but in a ten episode season, and this is already the end of the first episode when you introduce her, so you really only get to know her in episode three. that really only gives 8 episodes to know claire. and she’s not in like…3 or 4 of the episodes moving forward. meaning you have to: set up their history, set up how important she is, AND deepen their relationship to a place where we, the audience, are emotionally invested in them, AND when it hurts when they ultimately break up. but with only 4 or 5 episodes to do that, we can’t SEE it happen, we have to be TOLD it happens.

so we are told that carmy had a crush on her, to the point that he would draw her in his notebooks and his whole family knew he liked her, because mikey, richie and…john mulaney…tease him for it in the flashback episode. we are told how much claire likes carmy. we’re mostly told how good their relationship is, instead of seeing how good it is (carmy shows up to the restaurant a few times and says “i was talking with claire when….). we’re also told how close claire was to the fak’s and to richie (claire calls fak to get carmy’s number. she calls richie cousin (the only other person to do that other than mikey and carmy). there’s a lot of their relationship we don’t get to see, and it makes some sense because those scenes would be slower, deeper, and take time. and you only have 30 minutes and 4 or 5 episodes to accomplish this.

which makes the sort of hypocrisies in their relationship just not believable. carmy was obsessed with claire growing up, but when they meet he gives her a fake number so she can’t call him, because he knows she’s looking to date him after they run into each other. and he’s a little slow to open up to her, but finally does and she helps him a lot in his mental health and panic attacks. and on claire’s side, she gets labeled a manic pixie dream girl, which isn’t necessarily unfair, but her less than realized character (her main defining character trait is: i like carmy) is only because we don’t get to see much of her, and she was brought in to be a love interest to carmy. so she’s not fully realized, and her only real trait is liking carmy. plus, carmy is so aloof, and closed off that from a writing standpoint we needed claire to have this manic pixie love and attraction in pursuing carmy, because that was the only way they were going to get together. carmy would never have pursued claire, because he sacrifices his own enjoyment and personal life for cooking. but it doesn’t make sense then, that claire has kind of an obsessive love for carmy from the moment she sees him at the grocery store, and she admits that she liked him in high school, but she never made a move and he didn’t even really know she knew who he was.

these sort of conflicting narratives: carmy is in love with claire, but gives her a fake number when they run into each other as adults (he even forgets her name when we’re introduced); claire is in love with carmy from the beginning of them running into each other as adults (which would hint that she was in love with him when they were young) but never paid him any attention when they were young, BUT was so close to them that she remembered the name of their planned restaurant all these years later…they all could have been made possible and been written in a way that was believable. but not with the time constraints the show had and the other storylines the show focused on. so we are simply told a lot of this, not shown a lot of this. it maybe could have worked if they built claire and carmy’s relationship up this season; a sort of will-they-won’t-they, and then once carmy is sold on the relationship, build that up in season three, for the big collapse at the end of season three. but that would have ruined the season long arch and left carmy without a deep, traumatic emotional arch and more of a rom-com, fluffy arch this season and that’s not really the show’s style.

so, i don’t hate claire. i think she, as a character, wasn’t given the time to breathe and grow and show the audience why we should care about her. i would love if they brought her back for season three, to see her grow and get fleshed out as her own character, especially as a character outside of her love for carmy. but since she broke up with carmy, i don’t see much of a road into the show moving on and it would also make a lot of sense if we never really see her again. even despite her “close” relationship to the fak’s and to richie.

as someone who has had to have the conversation with my parents about my weird working situations, like being paid for a month, but then not being paid for six months even though i’m going to work and working 12 or more hours because i’m starting something…uff, i feel syd’s frustration as she tries to explain it to her dad. and the fact that the budget is paying everyone in the shop except carm, nat, and syd (the bosses) is so fucking good. because that’s how it fucking should be. you pay the people who need it, because you need them to be there when you get back. it’s how you keep workers, especially good ones. bosses and leaders of businesses need to actually sacrifice for the shop and for their workers if they want it to work. plain and simple.

but, we see some of that writing magic i was talking about earlier when carmy gives her a fake number. he told the fridge guy his number earlier, and then he gives claire a different number. we know that he wouldn’t give fridge guy a fake number. so we realize he’s giving claire the fake. that’s why we saw him give the fridge guy his number.

AND that’s the episode! episode two down! it’s a great episode. and it sets up a LOT for the rest of season two. looking forward to episode three!

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