#tfw you pull ur fave

[hirokiyuu]

actually i changed my mind i'm doing liner notes while fic is stlil fresh in my brain

i wanted so so badly to title this "how could i ever be so dumb to believe i'd be the one you would adore" but it was too long. heartbreaking. this would still have been such a baller title. i did consider "the one you would adore" but i think the title i settled on was better lol

i also wanted to use smth from no love in february which is also pretty dyssol for this exact scenario u kno. wnating sol to have reached out to him and hten not getting it <3 "where were you when i needed to hear you say / turn around i'm right behind you!" all that shit its soooo good for htem tbh

originally sym emerged "from the shadows of the forest" and my beta was like "there's no forest this is the ridges, the whole point is there's no forest" and i had to pull up the literal in-game text that has him emerging, quote, "from the shadows of the forest." they were so angry it was immesnely funny. i did cut it tho bc it's technically inconsistent w/worldbuilding LMFAO

i kind of wish it'd come up more but part of this sol is characterized by being unaugmented. real fucked up that people just give u extra kudos for not being augmented lmfao i do think abt that as the perk a lot

this sol's also super poly. i wanna go into this in another ficlet maybe but she was genuinely really vibing with dys's crush on sym from the start (which is part of the reason he was confused abt whether or not she liked him, lol)

originally this run was gonna be ot3 but i fucked up the timing of sym's last event but honestly? ive mentioned this before but hinge poly sol/dys/sym? does vibe. tfw ur boyfriend is clearly in love w/ur girlfriend who shes not dating also and u jsut ahve to deal w/that

a lot of the convo ended up rearranged from canon to better flow, and some stuff got cut. im still SO sad i couldnt work in dys droppign his entire dinner in the fire thats like one of my favorite parts. dyssol is best when they are both STupid <3

also sad in retrospect i had to cut the whole "where were you" but again it did not fit. i just wanted them yelling stupidly at each other tbh LAKHSGLKAHSLDKG

so i wrote this entire fic out of order starting with "you absolute spacehead, i am in love with you" which means when i wrote the part where sym cuts in my beta, who never got this scene, went SYM WAS JUST THERE? and i was like. yeah. thats canon btw thats part of the canon scene. and they lost it

"i am so stupid into you, i love you more than anything or anyone in this whole dumb universe" as a dramatic love confession is fun i think. simultaneously very like...... desperate and aching and also kind of stupid u kno. very nineteen of her. one of my fave lines from this in general tbh

the funniest possible note from my beta on the middle of the kiss

"i want all those kids tammy and i picked out dumb names for when we were nine" is another personal fave lmfao. again. dumb teens trying to talk abt the future and what they want

it was really important to me that sol didn't look pretty while she was crying. snotty + wet-faced and kind of ugly about it u kno. dyssol are a little gross and they love each other about it! it's aprt of the love

ive always thought abt dys not having anyone to find him on the spaceship (if hes not sols childhood friend) and connecting that to him disappearing on the ridges. the vibes. impeccable. of course he goes home with sol then if they ask, it's the first time anyones come looking. god. (thinking abt dyssol) GOD

dys: hey does anyone think its weird youer both just dating me now. no? just me? okay

i mean obviously the polyam negotiations DO come but again. this sol+sym in general are both just like. sweet more people to love dys

i didnt tag this as marz+dys or utopia+dys but it is immensely importnat to me that he has multiple people who love and worry and care for him. marz fucks up a lot as kids but i like how if u try to bully dys in her 10 shes like :/ no you moron im trying to KEEP him from dying :////

"clinging like he's five years old" This One Was On Purpose

originally at the end there was a joke sol made abt jumping him but it didn't fit tonally. i do think its immensely funny conceptually still tho

WOW THESE GOT LONG LMFAO anyways i lvoe ridgefic the whole ridge confession really did smth to my brain. enjoy the fruits of my disease

#what do i normally tag liner notes as shit i havent written any in soooo long #how do you writing #teenexo stuff #i was a teenage exocolonist spoilers

[otome-shenanigans]

well i don’t have to pull anymore on the pre-reg site. 

#Tears of Themis #marius von hagen #tfw you pull ur fave #literally i am done here lol #i was so sure i would get like #artem or vyn's SR first and Struggle™ for marius #but no here he is the man the myth the legend #i'm gonna smooch his stupid fucking face

[ivanaskye]

WoT reactions: book 5

Oh gods, everything is happening absolutely all of the time.

So, like usual, I’m gonna yell about it character by character.

[[MORE]]

(Not that that readmore ever works...)

Rand

Oh, he is a mess.

Remember when Rand was kind of boring and ~just a guy~? Remember when he wasn’t ruling like three or four countries and having a hard time thinking about people in any light other than how he can use them? Remember that?

Because, boy, that Rand is gone

He is literally wanting to die by now

“I deserve death”

“Death would be better”

And this is only book 6 out of 14. Oh boy.

He still Can’t Kill Women tho

This is bad for everyone involved

Pls unlearn ur sexism Rand

Mat

The thing about Mat is that most of his personality traits are things I hate in a character, BUT his core trope is my favorite

He Knows His Past Lives

At least kinda

FORBIDDEN MYSTERIOUS KNOWLEDGE, he is all the other hims he once was

He’s still... Mat tho, desperately trying to run away

All he wants is gambling and casual sex

But NO he has near infinite battle tactics knowledge from 2000 years ago :| I’d feel sorry for him but also like. I do not.

Perrin

Literally not in this book lol, we’ll find out more about what he’s been up to next book

Egwene

Is going through character growth at 500 miles per hour and I’m here for it

That scene where she realized she was talking to Moiraine like an EQUAL. Aaa my heart.

Overrides Nynaeve’s temper with pure calmness

Oh boy I love her

Foreshadowing that she’s gonna be the Amyrlin has only gotten stronger. I feel this in my bones.

Moiraine

I was gonna try to go longer without talking about her, but....

....fuck you, Robert Jordan.

:(

:((

:(((

Okay, the last book and a half she has been displaying every death flag known to man and then some. So I’m not surprised BUT I do still want to cry.

Ofc she had that many flags bc she KNEW SHE WAS GONNA DIE

fucking

She is an archetype I usually HATE (keeps too many secrets) but I! Love her! She is (was) doing her best!

That all said, she might not actually be dead—Amys saying that Rand is a fool right after he says she’s dead + asmodean dying to a mysterious person who may just be Lanfear...

Cause how Moiraine died was tackling Lanfear through a mysterious portal

And now her presence “can’t be felt”

But maybe she’s just in some other reality? I hope?

:x

;-;

Elayne

There are exactly two brain cells left standing now that Moiraine is gone, and Elayne has one of them. (Egwene has the other)

She also uh. Does A Thing this book. But that’s better to talk about under another character’s heading-

Birgitte

Jfc I was NOT expecting what happened here

Tfw you’re in the True Dream World which also serves as an afterlife for perennially reincarnated heroes, which you are, and you’re not supposed to talk to alive people, but you do anyway, and then

Then you get killed, in the afterlife

And develop a fully formed body in the Alive World

And remember all of your past lives

But you’re like, dying

And maybe not in a returning-to-afterlife way

SO ELAYNE FREAKING BONDS YOU AS A WARDER.

Anyway I ship it

Nynaeve

If Egwene gets the award for fastest character development, Nynaeve gets... the opposite award

If anything, she’s getting MORE insufferable and also unselfaware with time

“It’s so great that people get to be around me, who is always calm and never yells at anyone at all!” she thinks. Multiple times.

I’m glad that with her and Elayne we finally got a bit of a Tel’aran’rhiod (True Dream World) training sequence—we hadn’t gotten to see that with Egwene

Meanwhile this book Nynaeve is the poster child for “how close to straight up torturing people are Our Heroes now”

(The answer: pretty close, by which I mean, yes definitely torture, but not the WORST torture. Yet.)

Egeanin

Where is she where is my child

Min

Spends most of the book Escaping with Siuan and Leane, plus giving the two of them a lot of weird looks

Her moment to shine is probably later

Siuan

Let me tell you, as of book 2 or 3 I did not expect her to outlive Moiraine

A Real Good Character

She may be stilled but she can still scheme and manipulate For The Side Of Good

Bonus side effect of not having magic: she is no longer bound by magical path to not lie!

“The Kid Gloves Are Off Motherfuckers” - Siuan Sanche, probably

Leane

Unlike Siuan, finds new purpose/reason not to commit suicide not in revenge but in. Flirting.

“Can’t want to kill myself if I wanna hone my seduction skills instead”

Real galaxy brain take there

I’m love her also

Aviendha

Ok I’m starting to like her now, mostly due to the Most Fanfic Sequence Of Events I Have Ever Read Including In A Fanfic

(That’s right: your fave fanfic could never)

To recap: Aviendha, sneaking into Rand’s to take a bath

Caught naked

Flips out, instinctively does something with the Power that almost no one alive knows how to

That thing being: MAKES A GODDAMN PORTAL

INTO A BLIZZARD

WHILE NAKED, MIND YOU, AND DRIPPING WET

Rand, being Very Concerned about this, grabs a bunch of blankets and follows her

She runs away

For a mile

In a blizzard

While naked

Gets to an iced-over river, FALLS IN

Rand, using the Power but also almost dying himself, pulls her out and wraps her in blankets

Makes a FREAKING HOUSE out of magic

Gets her inside

But That’s Not Enough Body Heat

Oh No He Has To Snuggle Her

Due to the powers of body heat, she retains consciousness

Then They Have Sex

Him, afterwards: oh fuck! We’re not even married! Fuck I guess we can quickly get married as soon as we come back!

Her: marriage whom

Also her, Who Has Just Had Sex With Him: also obviously I can’t marry you, you belong to Elayne

Functions? NO

Brain cells? ABSOLUTELY NOT

Thoughts? NOT EVEN ONCE

I love all these characters y’all

#wot #wot reactions

[suhoerections]

tfw u grope ur crushes shoulder then pull his face into ur titties cause SOMEONE TOLD U HOW TO DO THE MOVR WRONG AND NOW HES AWLWARDLY TELLING YOU THAT YOU'RE MEANT TO GRAB THE ARM BUT HIS FAVE US LIKE 2 INCHES AWAY FROM NIP AND HE'S TRYING NOT TO LOOK AND YOU'RE STANDING THERE LIKE UH SORRY

#im gonnA SHIT MY PANTS

[vaguely-concerned]

empire of ivory here we go!

previous temeraire let’s read here

- um excuuuuse me I have waited two books for us to come back home to britain to see everyone again and now everything is awful and shitty and scary and my fave is leaving and nothing’s how it should be??? no??? this is unfair??????

- tharkay NO please don’t go everything provably goes to hell whenever you leave D:D:D:

(to be fair to him I guess it’s understandable to want some time alone to process the absolute outrageous bullshit he just pulled for a guy he’s known for like four months)

he used his page time well tho; instantly convincing roland of his worth and making her laugh... giving laurence his cup of tea b/c he looked like he needed it more... telling laurence that he’s leaving because he promised to do that much at least... truly the best boy, off to fetch more dragons apparently because it wasn’t quite crazy enough the first time

- god I love jane roland, I’m so glad my two faves got along instantly, between them they could... maybe protect laurence from himself? at least a little??? I can but dream

- I think this is the most emotionally invested I’ve been in a piece of media since that time I spent a few months completely incoherent over uncharted, and naughty dog very kindly held my heart in their hands and chose to be gentle with it in the end but I am not so sure that is how it’s going to be for this series and I am Not Prepared for the suffering

- I love whenever laurence thinks uncomfortably about one of the various and sundry atrocities committed by the government he’s still pledged all his loyalty to. yes william maybe the british empire... is in fact not good and has enough blood on their hands to dye the ocean red. I can’t wait until he connects the dots here (and presumably has a pretty intense crisis if faith about it because it seems like one of the loadbearing structures of his character... actually no wait I’m not ready to see this D:D:D:)

- the little details like the fact that he just calls bb!roland ‘emily’ and harcourt becomes ‘catherine’ so easily in his narration now are so so sweet  

- lord allendale is one of those dudes who have good politics but is a shitheel to his family and I want to smack him

laurence being the mortified poster boy of this party, though? priceless, imagine coming up with a protagonist this effortlessly involuntarily hilarious, it’s the mark of true genius

- I don’t usually quibble over things like this, but I think the edit for this fourth book specifically is a bit lacking? I’ve come across a lot of mistakes even my dumb ass can pick up on already, and I’m only a hundred pages or so in

- caught between crying and cackling at this part b/c like laurence I’m  d e v a s t a t e d  at the thought of temeraire getting sick but also temeraire is just like cheerfully getting laid the whole time

also how did none of the aviators think to give laurence The Talk about giving his dragon The Talk, you all know what he’s like

- oh thank god

- I have spent half of today crying about dragons coughing, how are you this fine evening good reader

- btw this series fills a hole in my soul left by jkr giving me all those tantalizing hints of different types of dragons in ‘fantastic beasts’ and never following up on it

- tharkay may not be here but laurence just mentioned him like once in his narration so let’s take the excuse to reminisce about the good old days (when tharkay was here)... remember that time when the one of his own jokes he laughed openly at was about lawyers and laurence frankly should have responded better b/c it was kind of funny and sadly temeraire doesn’t have the worldly experience to know it yet.... aaah precious, he truly is a sardonic blessing to my heart and deserves the world

okay back to our regularly scheduled content   

- riley why u gotta b such a bitch about this

(I love how laurence is constantly doubting himself over this tho, as if he’s done something wrong in this situation... like honey baby if there’s one thing worth breaking a friendship over it’s probably them being cool with slavery lol. it shows how much laurence has grown, considering that this disagreement has always existed between them but he used to be willing to just overlook it... I’m so proud of you laurence)

also lol @ berkely coming in to tell them everyone can hear them, I have a desperately soft spot for him and maximus. just the image of both of them turning to him ‘united in appalled indignation’ like ‘excuse you???’ and him giving exactly zero fucks... *chef kiss emoji*

- most important information revealed in this book: a) dragons are not widely considered to have committed original sin, thank you reverend erasmus and b) laurence has taken time out of his day at some point to worry about it b/c he’s a dork

(this is the sort of world building I am hopelessly weak to lol)

- gong su tricking temeraire into eating in the most melodramatic way possible... god bless you chef

- fkjhsadkjfhsdkjalhfaskjldhf laurence judging chenery for what he’s wearing while going out into the jungle in full uniform hat included himself... I caaaaan’t

- demane has only appeared on three pages so far but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this book and then myself

- ‘average dragon speaks one million languages’ factoid actualy statistical error. Temeraire Linguist Georg, who wants a pavilion thank you very much & learns over 10,000 languages each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted <3<3<3

(I love that temeraire is like... a nerd dragon with a hopelessly jock captain)

- laurence effortlessly rating the relative hotness of the other male aviators to try to suss out who harcourt has slept with fjsaldfhsdkljafh do you ever hear yourself think william

like this is the thing about him it’s so easy to headcanon him as bi b/c he can be so mindbogglingly oblivious it’s entirely possible he literally wouldn’t even have noticed until someone smacked him over the head with it

- see I’m very happy they found the cure but I don’t fucking trust it b/c the pattern of these books tends to be to give you one moment of ‘oh phew everything is going to be okay’ about 2/3 into the story and THEN everything goes to hell and fifty pages later laurence is dissociating and napoleon has conquered prussia 

- THERE WE GO RIGHT ON SCHEDULE

temeraire is never going to let laurence go anywhere without him again and rightly so

- hasn’t mrs erasmus been through enough. can’t she just be allowed to chill 

- this is really cool world building but I’m too stressed out to appreciate it

really enjoy the description of architecture tho this sounds so awesome

- sfahdfklsahdfksjda laurence making sure his clothes are as washed and presentable as possible... I can’t with you you beautiful idiot

- TEMERAIRE OH MY GOD IS HE HERE IS LAURENCE HALLUCINATING PLS SAY HE’S ACTUALLY HERE

- ...well I mean if anyone has a freudian excuse for being kind of dickish I guess it would be these guys? it’s actually pretty chill of them to only flog one of them (laurence, because he just can’t play it any way but stupid lawful good at every turn) and not just killing them all I guess, they kept them fed and stuff

- oh thank god

- temeraire you are the most darling dragon boy and I love you

I was really really worried for a moment there that the reference to the Colosseum was a not-so-subtle hint they would have to gladiator fight to the death but thankfully they were basically just calling in a parliament

- DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST STAB A CHILD IN THE STOMACH?? I HOPE HE ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE DICK AND DIES pls say demane is going to be okay

- aw okay finally something good for mrs erasmus I will take it

- laurence you useless fool of a narrator is demane okay?? 

- god roland is just so cool naomi novik really gave us a jovial butch silver fox aviator lady huh... she did that for us and I for one am full of gratitude

- oh thank GOD (hm I sense a running theme here lol) the kid is going to be okay I can breathe again

- iskierka the pirate captain + temeraire’s reaction... perfect

- ;____________; I would lay down my life for temeraire and also that’s a gutpunch of a moodswing... the perfect hilarity of ‘that is an ugly hill’ immediately followed by That... jesus

- awww every time volly shows up again is a joy (temrer!!!)

- laurence... laurence you need to stop asking people to marry you because you never actually really fucking mean it!!!!! have you learned nothing about yourself since book 1, trust your goddamn instincts for once in your life you and roland have been doing perfectly okay thus far as like... affectionate fuckbuddies right? 

(her reaction was priceless tho god bless)

- aaaah there we go the british government is looking more like itself... welcome to the world of realpolitik laurence I’m really sorry :(

- “It is only dragons, you know” JANE ROLAND WTF DID YOU JUST SAY

- “This government is not of my party; my king is ill and mad; but still I am his subject. You have sworn no oath, but I have.” He paused. “I have given my word.”

:) this is... fine

(like. I know this is necessary character growth and he’s basically been a waste of a good man in service to a government like this the whole time and the writing’s been on the wall since book 1 but I don’t want this to be happening to hiiiiim)

- tfw... ur dragon boi is so good... that being anything less than good for him in turn is unthinkable...................... b o i

- ...jane doesn’t really know him very well if she didn’t see this coming from a mile off tho does she

I mean I guess she has other stuff to think about but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone

- remember when he thought the entire corps was weird and now he’s finally at home there... and has to leave it behind :):):) super extra fine is what this is

- yeah okay laurence definitely has a crush on ol’ bonaparte noting that down lol he’s all but blushing after that kiss on the cheek 

also... if you just overlook the dictator thing for a moment is napoleon wrong about what he’s saying tho. (no and not even laurence is prepared to say so he’s just going to go back there and get murdered anyway b/c idk lawful good is dumb as fuck sometimes I guess)

It’s really cool how the author shows that napoleon has a better handle on laurence’s psychology after barely meeting him than a lot of people he’s known for years now, though, really adds to his menace and appeal as a character

- wow uh that’s one way to end a book... it’s actually tipped over from tragedy into a strange sort of hilarity for me now: he literally got sued out of his life’s earnings for being a decent human being, committed treason for the same reason and is about to be hanged for thinking genocide might have been a step too far -- in the span of thirty pages. I believe ‘that escalated quickly’ is not too much of an exaggeration here

- SIPHO IS GONNA WRITE BOOKS ONE DAY YOU GUYS!!!! I PROUDLY WELCOME OUR SECOND NERD TO THE CREW

 - I think this one might be my least favorite so far? not that I disliked it, it’s just the one that’s hit the worst by the fact that there’s not always that much time spent with the cultures central to the book; tswana seems really interesting but because of the way the plot played out and our limited perspective though laurence it just didn’t work for me? the cool shit comes in sipho’s book at the end, like how thoroughly they kicked the europeans out of the coast of africa, which is very cathartic (I will say that most of the second book being set on the ship and then only a sliver of it is actually in china annoyed me too haha) 

I have the distinct feeling this book is setting up for some Misery and breaking of the pattern a bit in the next one though, which will be interesting! ONWARDS TO MORE PAIN AND LAURENCE IS ALREADY PASSIVELY SUICIDAL FROM THE OUTSET SO LIKE... I’M SURE THIS WILL BE REAL FUN :)

maybe my boy will be back tho? silver linings silver linings clinging to some silver linings

#temeraire #empire of ivory #meta