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#tfc incorrect quotes
thisuserlovesyou · 52 minutes ago
Interviewer: What do you look for in a woman?
Kevin: She should have about 5 kids. No more than 9 or 10 though. I'm trying to coach an Exy team, I don't want to bench too many people.
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thisuserlovesyou · 12 hours ago
Andrew, introducing himself: Hi, I'm Andrew. But if you touch anyone I care about, I'll start identifying as a possible cause of death.
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neilmfjosten · 14 hours ago
Neil: I would fight satan for you
Andrew: You would fight satan for fun, I’m not special
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neilmfjosten · 18 hours ago
Neil: Why are you like this?
Andrew: I used too much “No More Tears” shampoo as a child and haven’t felt a single emotion since then.
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thisuserlovesyou · a day ago
Neil: *trying to teach Raven drills while Kevin is away*
Nicky: Hey,Kevin -I mean Neil!
Neil: Nicky called me Kevin.
Neil: And I will forever be haunted by that fact.
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
Neil: How petty can you get?
Kevin: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
[police sirens wailing outside]
Nicky, who’s never done anything wrong in his life: They’ve found me.
Neil, turning to Andrew: What have you done this time?
Andrew: ...
Aaron: Aren’t you the one that killed people??
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
Matt: What was the dumbest thing you believed as a child?
Neil [watching Andrew play exy]: That I was straight.
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
Matt: So what did the paper in your fortune cookie say?
Neil: [eating the entire cookie] the what
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neilmfjosten · a day ago
Neil: Okay, we gotta get through this locked door, Kevin quick give me your credit card
Kevin: Okay
Neil, pocketing it: Cool. Andrew, kick the door down
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thisuserlovesyou · 2 days ago
Jean, at the fall banquet: We know who you really are, kiddo.
Neil: Oh, that doesn't sound good.
Jean: It isn't. I just added kiddo to soften the blow, kiddo.
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rocky-foxy · 3 days ago
hc that nicky finally gives in and buys Neil a smartphone and then regrets it immediately as he has to spend 2 weeks explaining how to use a smiley face that doesn’t consist of : and ).
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anonknown · 3 days ago
Dan: Don’t tell your mother...
Allison: Kiss one another...
Everyone, ready to hold him back: NEIL NO!
Nicky walking in late: Cool for the summer!
Andrew, watching it all go down: Nice job idiots.
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neilmfjosten · 4 days ago
[in hell]
Riko: Why am I here?
Satan: Are you being serious I can’t tell
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rocky-foxy · 4 days ago
You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.
Allison Reynolds
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thisuserlovesyou · 4 days ago
Andrew: You need them to think you're stronger than you actually are.
Neil: Is that what you do?
Andrew: [laughing] Me? Oh, no. My power is no illusion. I can fucking demolish you.
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