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phantomwarrior12 · 2 years

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Reunion (Chapter 6)

How long has it been? Five years? Six?

Time works differently for Light-Bearers. It's a flash, a blip in their lifetimes. Most don’t register such a short passage of time as anything more than a fraction of a blink.

But for Essa, it's felt like an eternity.

She hasn't returned to Tevez’s village. She's watched and waited for her Titan to show up, casting a silent plea to the void as if it would bring him over those mountains sooner. But nothing has come of it. It shouldn’t surprise her. She should have expected this. He's probably still trapped in that cage he's built himself and she can't bring herself to go back and try and force him from it.

Not again.

Perhaps another decade and she might but for now, she is still angry. Angry he had chosen misplaced duty over her. Angry he had held her gaze and told her she would grow tired of him. Angry he would devalue himself and what they have so substantially. Angry he hadn’t given chase, hadn’t said a word as she left.

It was so infuriatingly like him.

He fought her on everything else, but damn him for not fighting her on the one thing she needed him to fight with her on.

Damn him for not coming home.

Lord Shaxx had little difficulty tracking down the Warlord’s encampment - the one who set his underlings on Essa’s tracks a few weeks prior. He was swiftly dealt with and the Light-Bearers Tevez had bested swore their allegiance to Shaxx that same night. Everything was wrapped up neatly for everyone - well, everyone except for her. Essa departed early, well aware Shaxx could deal with the clean-up before his rendezvous with Tevez. Without the booming Warlord, she could pass by the village undetected and unencumbered.

When it came into view, she could see him. The way he walked, the way he held himself - it was numb. Lifeless. There was none of her Titan's subtle qualities, just a void. Later, Shaxx mentioned Tevez had asked about her when only the Warlord returned to the village accompanied by what he referred to as “new recruits”. Of course, Shaxx didn’t offer any details beyond that, but thankfully, his Ghost had snuck Essa a recording of what had happened.

She’d thanked the Little Light and retreated to her room that night. Ember had played the brief video out for her. She’d watched Tevez damn near bolt to the gate to greet Shaxx, all the while, his helmet shifted and moved over the Light-Bearers before him…searching for her.

The way Tevez had deflated when Shaxx told him that she’d already returned to the fortress almost crushed her.

Her hands ball into fists at the memory, shaking her head to clear away the pang of grief. This wasn’t her fault. He should have come after her…right?

Maybe she should have fought harder. Maybe she shouldn’t have given him a choice to stay. She doesn't know anymore. Nearly six years should have been enough to mend this ache but each morning, she looks to that mountain and her mind drifts to him.

She clings to that last evening. That one fleeting shard of domesticity that proves they could have been happy. After all, they were only granted three days but those three days was all the proof that they would have ever needed. Even now, Tevez consumes her dreams; her very mind every time she stops to think. Three fucking days and everyday since, she entertains the idea of going back.

He's probably still living in that small house, still hiding his face behind a helmet out of fear. Still alone.

Fuck.

She snaps her head forward and slams her front door, heading toward Lord Shaxx's office. She beats back the onslaught of emotion, the confusion and frustration that has welled in her chest and churned in her soul for the last six years. She fights through it because if she doesn’t, she will not propel herself forward with each step. She’ll stumble and she can’t imagine the outcome. Would she find the strength to rise without–

“Lady Essa! Come quickly!”

A sharp voice jolts her from her thoughts and her eyes snap to the source. Behind the man, there is a gathering crowd near the front gate. She moves past the man quickly, shouldering through the crowd until she's at the front. The Warlock halts at the sight of a bloodied man lying in the dirt.

It takes a moment, but she bolts to his side. Her knees hit the ground as she gathers her Light for a healing rift. It has a limited impact on mortals but maybe--

Yes. It mends the man just enough to bring him around to consciousness He doesn't have the energy to panic and the Warlock tries to assure him he's alright while she calls for a doctor. He grabs her robes, a note pressed against her just as the doctor arrives and guides him out of her hold.

She opens the note, eyes lingering on the battered man before they drop to the sheet of paper.

Overrun. Send help. - Tevez

Her eyes snap up toward the mountain for a fraction of a second before she’s on her feet and running toward Shaxx's office. She bursts in without any warning and draws the gaze of both the Warlord and the men he's meeting with.

Shaxx straightens from his desk, "Lady Essa--"

"Tevez’s village." She holds up the note, "It's under attack."

Shaxx’s shoulders draw back in surprise but then he’s moving swiftly over wooden planks, "Gather a squad, we leave in ten."

Essa nods quickly and darts from the office, pulling in one of the newer squads - those who swore allegiance to Shaxx that day. They'll know the territory the best, maybe even give a clue as to who might have struck at the village after all this time.

But first, they need to get there in time.

The messenger clearly didn't spare himself making it to the fortress. Perhaps it's been a day, maybe two. That means they have to make it by nightfall back to the village if they hope to save anyone - that is, if they aren’t already too late.

Just hold on until then, Tevez. Please.

------------

Everything is on fire. Smoke billows from homes consumed. Blood and metal permeate the air with every breath and Essa can't quell the panic that rises in her chest.

Her eyes tear through the wreckage in search of his form. A few civilians still stumble out toward safety, taking refuge behind Shaxx and his Light-Bearers.

“Spread out!” Shaxx barks, drawing his own weapon from between his shoulder blades, “Rescue who you can. But be at the ready, there are still enemies nearby.”

Essa almost doesn’t hear him, her fingers curled tightly into fists as she peers into the smoke to her left.

Where are you?

A flash of lilac draws her eyes forward once more. The haze parts with another flash - he’s alive! Tevez’s shield is hurled forward to take out a Light-Bearer. They hit the wall with a resounding crack and crumple to the ground as Tevez stalks toward them. His hands clench but he stops short of the Ghost, shaking his head as if in pain. He stumbles back, wheeling, reeling as his head swings in search of further danger. When they settle on her and the ‘Bearers with raised weapons fixated on him, he adjusts his stance into that of defense.

"Lower your weapons!" Essa calls, slowly beginning to move toward the Titan.

He looks startled, his grip on the shield doubling down as he retreats a step. She can’t imagine what he’s endured but the sway to his frame does not bode well for his health. Fractal should have healed him by now, where is his Ghost?

"It's alright. We're here to help, Tevez." She holds her hands out at her sides, palms up. He shifts back another half a step, his helmet tilting as he looks at the Light-Bearers beyond her and then back. It’s rapid, anxious. He doesn’t seem to hear her voice and if he does, he doesn’t recognize it.

"We got your message. We came as quickly as we could," she tries again, lowering her voice the closer she draws to him. He holds his ground, fingers flexing around his shield, his feet shifting subtly to keep his mobility active.

He’s afraid it’s a trap but he doesn’t attack.

She's close enough to reach out and touch him. But he's so tense. Through the shreds of his shirt and pants, she can see just how battered his chassis is. Pieces of armor have been ripped off, others so damaged they barely cling to the seams of metal. The only thing intact is his helmet, but even that has a massive crack over the visor and sparks flickering near his temple.

"Tev?"

Nothing.

"Tevez--" She barely grazes his arm with a tentative finger before he is on her in an instant.

Tevez slams her back against one of the few standing walls and she chokes out a pained cry. Her eyes snap in the direction of Shaxx, the Warlord already moving toward them. “Stay there!” He complies even as Tevez’s hand latches around her throat. She jolts his hand with a blast of Arc to ease the vice grip, but it's only enough to prevent him from crushing her airway.

“Tevez!” Essa strains against his hold even as Arc energy ignites along his free hand. She watches in horror as his fingers curl into a fist and his arm draws back to strike. Her eyes widen and they snap back to his visor when the realization hits her.

Tevez doesn't recognize her. He can't. He's so lost in his own head–

The Light builds a foot away from her face and her mind scrambles for a solution. Shaxx will intercede but it may kill Tevez.

Think!

His fist is coming forward–

“It's me!" The words come out strained and desperate as Ember transmats her helmet away. Tevez freezes mere inches from her skin. The Arc energy tingles, darting out against her cheek, jolting against nerves as reality itself seems to be at a stand still…until she realizes she can’t breathe.

I'm right here, Tev.

His head lifts and tilts slowly as he comes back to his senses. His fingers uncurl from the fist, the Light fizzling out as his hand falls to his side. There's a sway to his frame and through the crack in his visor, she can make out a rapid blink of his eyes as fingers ease around her throat. Essa gasps out a cough and the sound alone jolts him from whatever daze he's in. He snatches his hand back as he reels, stumbles, trips over his own feet and lands on his ass with reality promptly crashing back over him.

Essa hits the ground knees first, clutching at her throat in a desperate effort to regain control over her breathing.

“…Es?” His voice is barely a whisper, his body is shaking and there is disbelief and anguish in those brilliant electric eyes.

She struggles to his side, chest still heaving from the near asphyxiation. Somehow, she manages to drag him into an embrace with trembling arms and he can barely return it. His fingers wind into the fabric of her robes, latching onto it with fervor. There are violent tremors tearing along his frame, every inch of his body feels as though his Light is still aflame. She can feel the sparks of Arc, the searing heat of Solar, the chill of Void - all of it at once.

Oh, Tev.

“Fractal?” She casts a silent prayer heavenward that his Ghost is still intact. She waits a beat before the Ghost transmats his helmet and she can heave a sigh of relief. Essa can feel his faceplate drop against the side of her neck, pressing close as a strangled cry cascades against her skin; mumbled words on repeat and she can only make out two.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m here.” She whispers, hugging the Titan as tightly as she can manage. Over his shoulder, she receives an approving nod from Lord Shaxx as he and his Light-Bearers move off to continue searching the village for survivors.

“I couldn’t—“ He chokes out, “couldn’t save them. Was overrun, they burned…everything.”

Her hand cradles the back of his head, smoothing the pad of her thumb along ridged metal, “I know. I’m sorry.”

There are no words after that. Essa watches as the Light-Bearers guide survivors from the wreckage. Tevez managed to save some of them. But he takes no solace in it. His head remains firmly on her shoulder as she can do little more than hold him while he falls apart silently. All the while, survivors shuffle past, eyes lingering on the trembling Titan. She can't read all of their expressions but for some, there is relief, others - disdain. Those are the ones she'd like to threaten but she doesn't dare leave Tevez’s side.

It feels like an eternity later but his frame at last goes limp and his breathing evens out.

Essa leans down to press a soft kiss to the top of his head. It shifts a little in response, snuggling against her shoulder and she can’t quite manage to quell her smile - a smile that quickly falters when his features contort in pain. Even asleep, he’s suffering. The subtle twitch of gears when she finds a sore plate, the flex of his fingers around her robes when she pressed a kiss against his forehead - her Titan is in agony.

She needs answers, starting with who is responsible.

“Fractal?”

The Ghost materializes. Even his companion looks worse for wear. Flecks of Earth cling to her shell and there are a few scorch marks, but she looks intact overall.

“I’m glad to see you’re in one piece.”

The Ghost’s shell shifts slowly, cautiously but she bobs forward like a nod. They sit in silence for a weighted few minutes before Fractal’s shell separates and she repairs Tevez. It lessens the tremor but the effects linger. He’ll need rest to right his body and his mind. She can’t imagine the toll the last few days have taken on the Titan.

Essa steals a glance down at Tevez before she speaks once more, “What happened?”

“We got overrun by a Warlord and his lot. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Tev tried to reason, but when it became clear the Warlord wasn’t here to conquer, but pillage - Tev got angry. One of the Warlord’s men took a shot at him, Tev blocked it with his shield, but…it hit a kid that was hiding.” The Ghost looks down at the sleeping Titan, “He lost control after that. I’ve never seen him like this. He killed all of them. Some of their Ghosts, too.” She says quietly, settling on her Light-Bearer’s shoulder, “I’m glad you’re here. I wouldn’t have been able to pull him out myself.”

“It’ll be alright.” Essa assures her, gazing down at Tevez. “You two can come with us.”

“I don’t know that he'd—“

Her voice sharpens when she interjects, “There is nothing left for you two here. He doesn’t need to stay here and torment himself.” Her features soften, “I won’t leave him again.”

She can’t leave him again. She used to think she was still angry with him - still stewing in resentment and a burning hatred for the village he’d chosen over her. But seeing him now, seeing the village destroyed; it hurts. All of this hurts. He didn’t deserve this. She should have come back sooner. She should have–

“Sometimes I wish you hadn’t left at all,” Fractal admits, jolting the Warlock from her thoughts. “He was…a mess after you left. He avoided the house like a plague for awhile, except to sleep. He kept looking toward the tree line…like you’d come out of it like you did the first time.” She hesitates for an instant, “He’ll probably kill me for saying this, but he calls out for you in his sleep. Six years later and he still - he misses you, Essa.”

“Tough Titan fell hard, huh?" She tries a smile, tries to veil the pain in her eyes as they trail along his metallic features.

He isn't the only one who calls out in the night.

"I'll say." Fractal snuggles into the fur, "You think he'll be okay?"

"Given time, yes. He did all he could here. He'll come to terms with that in his own time. For now, we'll be here for him to lean on."

"Right."

"Get some rest, 'tal. I'll tend to any medical needs he may have."

"He should be fine. Just needs some rest." The Ghost whirls softly, "I'm glad you're back, Essa."

"Me too. Little Light."

-------------------

There's...a pillow beneath his head. A blanket draped along his frame.

The village--

He bolts upright, electric blue eyes sparking around the room rapidly to try and make sense of these new surroundings. It’s then he registers a dip in the mattress directly beside him. Panic wells for an instant until his gaze settles on her.

Essa is laying beside him, just beginning to stir and he lets out a heavy sigh of relief. He hadn’t been dreaming. She’s here. She’s alive. He lays on his side carefully, hand cradling her cheek as she blinks up at him, "You're real," he murmurs as his eyes fall shut.

"I'm real," she confirms with a whisper, placing her hand over his. The contact grounds him, soothes the rapid thrum in his chest and he lets himself breathe for an instant. Wait, Fractal–

His head snaps up, his elbow propped to support his weight as his eyes move from Essa toward something over his shoulder in search of his Little Light, "Fractal, is she--"

"She’s fine. She's all cleaned up." Essa assures him and his head drops back down onto the pillow with a soft exhale.

Somewhere beyond his senses, his Ghost echoes the sentiment, informing him she’s fine.

“I’m sorry, ‘tal.” He whispers, fragments flare in his mind but he distinctly recalls damn near hitting the Ghost at one point. She’d tried to stop him from crushing - oh, Traveler, what has he done? It's all a blur. The village is gone, that much he remembers but the events that followed - those are fuzzy. His eyes open and he checks her neck, as if her Ghost wouldn't have already healed any damage he'd left.

"What happened?" He manages at last, closing his eyes once more to ward off the faint headache. He doesn’t want to remember but he must. His voice echoes that reluctance but Essa doesn’t pay it any mind.

"We brought you back to the fortress." Her voice gently draws him from his scrambling as her fingers curl around his and guide them away from her neck. "It's your turn to sleep in my bed," she tries to tease, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

But he doesn't laugh. Instead, Tevez drags her into his arms. He needs her close, he can't explain why but she is all that is keeping him grounded right now. Six years they've been apart and he can't endure a moment longer. Not when there is an ocean of self-loathing and guilt and anguish crashing against the shores of his mind and she is all that stands between him and being swept away beneath it.

"How long was I out?" He manages softly.

"Almost four days. You were in and out on the way here."

His hand closes around the fabric of her robes, letting himself get lost in the physical contact if only for a moment. This close, he can detect a faint trace of reluctance in his Warlock before she returns his embrace with that same sort of endearing warmth that he has ached for. He wonders for an instant if she’s still angry with him.

"Stupid question, but you okay?" She asks quietly.

"No." He returns simply, closing his eyes as his face settles against the top of her head. He doesn’t have the energy to feign composure, to pretend he’s okay in any sense of the word. He’s always felt Essa was the only one he could be completely honest with and he prays that hasn’t changed.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Tevez can feel her fingers tracing small circles along his spine. "You're doing it now," he mumbles, willing his mind to fixate on her presence and not the memories flaring in the back of his mind.

"Right." He's pretty sure that one word was supposed to go unheard but it does nothing to deter him.

He wants to tell her he has missed her. Apologize for not coming after her. For not leaving with her to begin with. He wants to talk about anything but what happened but he doesn't have the will to break the silence. He's so tired, despite having just awoken. Yet there is no going back to sleep right now.

"Whatcha thinking about?" She asks softly.

"...you."

He can hear a smile in her voice when she speaks, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She shifts, easing her head from beneath his to look up at him, "What about me?"

This is a better path to go down. Anything but the last few days.

"Missed you," he mumbles, tucking her hair back away from her face gently.

"I missed you, too." She leans in a little closer and he closes the distance. She presses a soft kiss to his mouth plate and his hand cradles her cheek.

Somehow, she eases him onto his back and he lets her. He doesn't want to be in control right now, doesn't want to shoulder anything. Even after all this time, he trusts her with his life - he doesn't care what she does with it, not so long as she stays at his side.

He faintly registers her fingers tracing along his jaw, the warmth of her body pressed against his.

"Don't leave me again," he pleads softly, his hands gripping hold of her robes like it's the only anchor he has left.

"I won't, Tev. I promise."

He needs to hear that over and over and over. Play it on repeat until it chases away everything else.

He'll settle for her weight atop him.

He holds her as if she were life itself, fingers tracing along familiar curves as she kisses him. He needed this - needed her. This is all that he wanted those six long years in that village. He'd never ached for company. Never spent his days considering the quickest route through the mountains - to see her. That's a lie. That's all that he thought about for years. But she was back where she belonged - it just happens to be a coincidence they'd cross paths again.

A large coincidence that their situations are reversed this time around.

He's just happy to be at her side again. To hell with anything else. He's gotten his second chance and he'll do anything to keep it.

It's only when she pulls back to catch her breath that he allows his head to sag back down onto the pillow. Dazed electricity gazes up at her as he tucks blonde locks behind her ear.

"You still look sad, Tev." She whispers with a worried smile.

"I never should have let you leave - not without me. I should have been at your side all these years." He rambles, voice barely audible.

Something in her eyes shifts. They aren't warm; they're teary and aching and concerned.

"What's done is done."

"Essa--"

She silences him with another loving kiss and fight drains out of him.

"Not another word."

"I'm trying to apologize."

"Just don't let go and we're even," she leans her head down against his and his chest flutters.

"I can do that."

"Good." She smiles slightly, "You feel up to a walk?"

"Can't I just...stay here? With you?" It sounds like a plea and that almost irritates him.

"Your joints will stiff--"

"Let them," he interrupts, eyes darting over her features, "to hell with them, just - stay."

"Tevez," her features soften. He registers her touch against his cheek and she leans down, "I'll be right there next to you, tin can." The term of endearment grants him a fraction of a smile, "Besides, there will be time enough for cuddles tonight. Shaxx wanted to see you when you woke up."

"What for?" He questions reluctantly.

"He wants to ask you to stay here with us."

"He does, does he?" He closes his eyes.

"I want you to stay, Tevez," she adds quietly.

That does capture his attention. His eyes open and fixate on her features, noting the light twinge of rose to her cheeks, "You do?"

"Of course I do." She smiles warmly, "That's all I wanted...I just knew you wouldn't leave the village undefended and," she looks down at his chest, "I couldn't wait until you figured out how to let them go."

"I wanted you to stay, too...but you had other responsibilities."

"I remember." She says softly.

"Yeah..."

"Seems we both wanted something we couldn't have then."

"Seems so," he reaches up, touching her cheek with a sort of feather light touch - afraid to shatter her should he press a little too hard against her skin. Afraid to shatter what very well might be a dream.

"But we can have it now?" She asks hopefully and he doesn't miss the desperation in her eyes.

"...if you'll have me." He whispers and she grins.

Her arms lock around his neck and he chuckles when she squeezes, "Welcome home, tin can."

"Thanks, sparky." He rasps out, holding her just as tightly.

"Come on, let's go see Shaxx," she starts to pull back after a minute, the excitement evident in her features but Tevez isn't quite ready to get up.

"Hold on."

"What is it?" She frowns and he swears he can read a fraction of panic in her eyes.

He hesitates, searching those sky blue eyes for a moment before forcing a smile, "Never mind. Up you get." He gently guides her upright and she slides off of him.

The excitement is still there but she's now concerned and he hates that he's given her pause. He slowly swings his feet onto the ground, his frame aching in protest.

"Need a hand?" She chuckles, picking up the fresh shirt at the end of the bed and holds it out to him.

"Hng, maybe," he accepts the garment and slowly eases it over his head. It takes all he has to quell the growl of pain as the fabric settles against metal plating. He'd blame the aches and sensitivity on faulty wiring even after Fractal healed him if he didn't remember the previous few days. And how he wishes he could forget them.

He remembers switching supers - how many times, he doesn't know. There was blood and smoke and--

"Tevez?"

His eyes snap up to her and the images fade. He tries to summon a reassuring smile but it doesn't quite make it into place, "Yeah?"

She crouches down in front of him, studying his eyes and he suddenly feels the need to look down. To hide this agony from her. He can't scare her now.

But her fingers tilt his head back up and he doesn't have the strength to pull away.

"What is it?" Her voice sounds so soft, so eager to help and he just - can't.

"It's nothing, sparky," he gently takes her hand from his chin and squeezes it, "We should get moving."

"If you're not ready--"

"I am," he interjects, sharper than he intended and he knows she noticed. But he doesn't apologize, tries not to acknowledge it at all as his voice softens, "Let's go."

Her nod is slow and uncertain and the guilt gnaws at his mind. He accepts her help getting to his feet, his arms winding around her for a firm embrace before they get any further than standing.

And she doesn't push him. Doesn't try to convince him to get moving. She just...hugs him. As if it were the only natural course of action after getting him upright.

"Es?" He asks softly.

"Yes, Tev?" She rubs small, soothing circles into his shoulders.

"This is-this is real, right? I'm not dreamin' this up?"

"It's real, Tevez." She lifts her head to look at him, "You made it."

"And I can stay?" If he could cry, there would be tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

Instead, his Warlock cradles his face, tilting it down enough to rest her forehead against his.

"Yes, Tevez. You can stay. This is your home now."

He kisses her then, well, tries to. He presses his mouth plate against her lips and she gets the idea and reciprocates with an actual kiss.

Fuck. He has missed her. Her touch. Her presence. Her wit. Everything.

He takes a moment to indulge before pulling back, "We should--"

"Right," she clears her throat, a smile settling onto her lips and Tevez feels a sense of ease somewhere in the back of his mind.

He's a long way from okay, but this helps - she helps. So as she takes his hand and guides him toward the door, he tries to gather himself.

It's bright outside and he has to squint to see anything. She doesn't seem the slightest bit bothered by it or by the bustling crowd he's greeted with.

There were never this many people out in the village - not once. Even as her hand releases his, he's sure to stick close to her. His head is on a constant swivel, trying to take in this new environment without outright overwhelming himself.

But then he makes eye contact with a vendor for the briefest of moments. It's another Exo and all of a sudden, Tevez is self-conscious. He didn't have to hide what he is from Essa inside the house but out here?

Is it okay?

He feels...naked without his armor. No shield against the gazes of civilians, no veil over his eyes to conceal what he is. His hand instinctively clasps around Essa's, drawing her a bit closer to his side as they walk. He feels like he's a spectacle, like every eye is on him when really...not a single person has paid him any mind.

People used to stare in his village. He was the only Light-Bearer, he stuck out but now? These people have probably seen a great many. He's just like anyone else. Even the Exos don't pay him any mind.

He is grateful, for once, to just be another face in the crowd.

Essa squeezes his hand as they draw near to Shaxx's home and he tries to compose himself some. His head is a mess but he needs to be alert - staying with Essa depends on it.

"Titan?"

The source of that voice stops him dead in his tracks. He turns his head toward the source, electric blue fixating on an elder who survived his village's destruction. He didn't think this far ahead, if there were survivors, they know what he is now--

"Elder, I'm pleased to see you survived," he manages at last, his grip on Essa's hand tightening in a silent plea to help him.

The scrutinizing gaze he receives does not sit well with him.

"Yes. Thanks to you...guess you Exos can be useful."

The way he says it is full of disdain, irritation even. Tevez almost lowers his head in shame until Essa steps forward.

"Mind your tongue. He saved your lives and you look down at him as though you're any better. He should have left you to burn," his hand tugs hers and she tosses a look his way, "But, he's a better man than that. So," her gaze zeroes in on the elder with a dark look, "you will address him with respect or not at all within these walls. You and your people forced him to hide for too long with your close-minded bullshit. That will not happen here. There's nothing wrong with who or what he is." She all but snarls and Tevez smiles slightly in appreciation. “Now, apologize.”

"O-of course, m'lady." The elder backs away, his eyes dropping. “My sincerest apologies, Tevez,” he says quickly.

Tevez stares for a long moment, unsure of what exactly just transpired. He looks to Essa, who gives him a warm smile before guiding him past the crowd that paused to watch.

"That was harsh," he says softly once they're out of earshot.

She offers little more than a shrug, "They shamed you for what you are, I'll shame them for their bastardly ways. It's only fair."

"Essa," he chides, "they've been through enough."

She stops, pivoting to face him and he tilts his head in confusion.

"You went through the same, if not worse. It doesn't excuse his behavior." She takes a step closer laying her hands on his chest under the pretense of adjusting a non-existent collar, "Besides, that bastard should have been thanking you profusely, not sniveling."

"Hm," he leans down, pressing his mouth against her lips for a kiss. He needs something to steady him, a way to soothe the anxious thrum in his chest. Her touch is the easiest manner of achieving that, and truthfully, the only thing he aches for. He leans into her, anxiety welling in his chest until she returns the kiss gleefully, her hand resting on the base of his neck. He all but melts, pressing into her smaller frame for as much contact as he can get in public.

Essa traces soothing circles along his neck and he can feel the tension draining away. His shoulders sag, his hands growing lax against her body as she presses into him of her own volition. The hand along her back begins to drift up and down along her spine, tracing over the seams of her robes. The fabric is softer than he remembers - could be that he’s sought it out out of comfort, or because every sense is on high alert. Whatever the case, he’s grateful he can hold her.

He’s grateful he holds her affection.

"I'd accept your gratitude on his behalf," he chuckles softly, cradling her cheek tenderly.

"Yeah?" She smirks with a teasing lilt in her voice.

"Yeah," his thumb traces over her cheekbone.

"Well, thank you for saving his ungrateful ass. I'm sure we'll find some use for him here," she laughs and Tevez shakes his head with a smile.

"Let's get this over with, your bed beckons." He kisses her again softly and straightens up.

"It does, does it?" Essa teases as she takes his hand once more and leads him down the street.

"Unless you have something else in mind? Another sparring match, perhaps?"

She snorts, "Need an ego boost so soon, Tev?"

"It's not--"

She turns, maneuvering in front of him and cuts him off. He stares at her with a sort of quizzical expression, his mind a whirlwind as she backs him against the nearest wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Seeing how you like being pinned against a wall." She grins.

Tevez arches a brow, "This isn't much of a pin. I still have full functionality of my arms and–"

She sighs dramatically, "I was–"

He catches hold of her waist, spinning them in an instant and pins her body between him and the wall.

"This is an adequate pin."

Her cheeks are flushed. He realizes her hand is gripping his shoulder tightly as well.

"Are you alright?"

"...of course," she clears her throat, meeting his gaze evenly, "We shouldn't keep Shaxx waiting."

"Your face is red, sparky," he backs up a few inches to give her space to move, "Did I hurt you?"

"No, I–"

His hands dart down her sides, searching for anything he may have inadvertently injured. He thought he'd been fairly careful, there's no reason to–

"Tevez." She grips his wrist and he goes rigid, eyes snapping back to her own. "I'm okay, tin can. Getting handsy is not going to help."

"I wasn't trying to–" he looks down at where his hands rest on her hips and he snatches them back in an instant, "Sorry."

"You're still adorably awkward," she chuckles, pushing up onto the balls of her feet to press a kiss to his cheek. "Come on, before you accidentally start undressing me or something equally as impulsive."

"Why would I–?"

She levels a smirk on him and his jaw clamps shut. Now he realizes what she's insinuating and he doesn't like it.

"You and that filthy mind of yours." He grumbles, stepping back to create more space between them.

"You enjoy it, tin can. Don't act like you don't."

He mumbles out a response about not wanting to discuss this anymore before casting his gaze down the street, "We should–"

"Look at me."

His eyes snap back to her immediately, back to the warm smile playing at the corner of her lips. Back to the subtle tilt of her head as she pushes off to the wall and takes his hand without a word.

"What are you up to now?" He squints accusingly.

"Nothing," she leans into him, hooking her finger beneath his chin, "I just wanted your full attention for a moment." She releases him and starts down the street once more.

"You always have my undivided attention," he mutters, falling into step beside her.

"Even when cleaning that rifle of yours?" She bumps into him playfully.

"That got torched." He deflects.

"I'll get you a new one."

"Not the same."

She nods wordlessly, coming to a halt just outside a large house. Her knuckles rap is the door and Tevez straightens when it opens.

Lord Shaxx's looming form fills the doorway and he looks between them, "Ah! Tevez. I'm pleased to see you're up. How are you feeling?" He gestures for them both to enter as he steps aside.

Essa nudges him forward, earning herself a pointed look before he steps inside, "A little sluggish, but, fine I guess."

"Excellent," Shaxx closes the door as Essa steps up beside him. "I'm sure Lady Essa mentioned her intent to ask you to stay?"

His eyes drift to his Warlock, "It came up, yes."

"And your answer?"

"If you'll allow it, I'd like to stick around."

"You're more than welcome. Of course, you'll be in need of new armor. I'll speak with Banshee–"

"You don't have to," Tevez interrupts, "I can scavenge something–"

"Nonsense. My Light-Bearers are well equipped. You're no exception, Titan." Shaxx waves his hand dismissively, moving toward a desk in the next room. "I'm sure you need more time to recover. A display of Light that intense for three days, was it? And another four unconscious," he moves to a chest on the opposite side of the desk and kneels down. "I'm surprised you're up."

"Well, your lieutenant had a hand in that," Tevez shoots a pointed look at Essa who simply shrugs.

"She is rather persistent," the Warlord agrees, picking up a folded piece of cloth before standing and approaching Tevez. "Here."

Tevez’s eyes dart from the outstretched cloth to Shaxx to Essa and back again before accepting it. He unfolds it to discover a Titan mark with Shaxx's sigil woven into the fibers.

"You're one of us now, Tevez. You deserve to bear the sigil." Shaxx lays his hand on Tevez’s shoulder and the Exo stares for a weighted moment before meeting his gaze.

"I don't know what to say–"

"Thank you is a start," Essa teases, looping her arm around his.

Tevez snaps from his stunned daze, "Thank you, Shaxx, er…Lord Shaxx–"

Shaxx holds a hand up to silence him, "Shaxx is fine. When you're ready, drop by the training arena. Essa can show you where. You can show me the skills that withstood a small battalion."

"Yes, sir." Tevez manages softly just before Shaxx claps him on the shoulder and moves past him.

"He could use some clothes, too, Shaxx." Essa adds, rubbing her Titan's shoulder.

"I'll see what we can do."

Tevez pivots to face the Warlord, "Thank you, Shaxx. For all of this, I can't repay you–"

"Think nothing of it, Tevez. I ask only that you defend this fortress should the need arise."

"You can count on me."

"Excellent." Shaxx nods firmly.

Essa slips her hand into Tevez's and guides him toward the door.

"Tevez."

He pauses, casting his gaze back to the Warlord. "Yeah?"

"Welcome home, Titan." Shaxx says with a degree of warmth in his voice.

Tevez smiles and nods before Essa guides him out the door.

"Feel better about sticking around now?" She smiles up at him.

"A little," he tightens his grip on the mark, "It's all still a little surreal if I'm being honest."

"When are you ever not honest, Tevez?" She guides him toward the fortress square, much to his intrigue.

He elbows her lightly, casting his gaze about. "Where are we going?"

"You're hungry, aren't you?"

The sensation hadn't struck him until she mentioned it. He shouldn't really need food but it does sound nice.

"Essa–"

"I know you don't get hungry, but…a meal might do you good regardless. Texture and humanizing and all that."

"...fair enough." He folds the mark over his arm as they walk.

It's all beginning to process - he's found a new home. Somewhere he doesn't have to hide. Somewhere safe and filled with Light-Bearers like him. Somewhere he can have that life he wants with Essa.

And there isn't a chance in hell he'll squander it a second time.

-----------

Following their meal, Essa led Tevez back to the house to drop off his mark before practically dragging him to one of the wall towers.

The sun has begun to set and she is eager to show him the view over the forest.

"You're going to rip my arm out of its socket if you're not careful, sparky."

"Then hurry up. I don't want to miss it!"

"Miss what?" He sighs, climbing the steps behind her.

"You'll see."

"Cryptic Warlocks," he grumbles but she chooses to ignore it. She pulls him toward her favorite spot overlooking the valley and positions him against the wall.

"Look toward the mountain." She urges.

Tevez sighs and follows her gaze, his brow drawn downward as he studies the setting sun. His spine straightens in surprise when the light catches something shiny and a myriad of colors dances before him as the sun sinks beyond view.

"What was that?" He looks over at her grinning face. She can see his well-contained excitement, the thrill and curiosity in those electric blue eyes.

"There's a pedestal at the top. A bunch of glasswork assembled to form a prism. No one really knows who built it but it's pretty this time of night." She casts her eyes back toward the mountain, a dazed sort of smile settling into place, "Sometimes when there's a full moon, the rays will hit it just right and the stars look like they're iridescent…kind of like your steel plating."

He nods slowly, following her eyes out toward the mountain. "It's nice."

She snorts at his simplification of the display, "Yes, it's very nice. It's one of my favorite things about this region."

"One of?”

"You find things to enjoy," she leans on the wall, resting her chin on her crossed arms. "Do you like it here so far?"

"I think so. It's...peaceful here. Light, if that makes sense." Tevez gazes out over the forest.

Essa looks up at him, a warm smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "I'm glad to hear that." She follows his gaze as she leans her head against his shoulder, "You can breathe here. Be what you are."

"I've never been able to--" he trails off, reaching over to take her hand atop the wall ledge.

"You can now," she assures him. "This is your home now. You can be whatever you want.”

"With you?" He asks softly.

There's a flutter in her chest as she smiles, "Yes, Tevez. With me."

He leans his head against hers for an instant before looking toward the mountain.

Essa looks to their entwined hands but stills when she notes the subtle shimmer of light along his arm. She gently rolls his sleeve up with her free hand, allowing the waning sunlight to dance along the iridescent panels she's become enthralled by.

But this time, this time she can indulge. She can trace her finger along the rainbow and enjoy the way the light shifts in response.

It's enough to draw Tevez’s attention, "What are you doing, sparky?"

"Nothing." She murmurs, moving her finger back and forth for a moment. The rainbow shimmers in response before she trails her hand up his forearm and angles it side to side to see the colors change.

Tevez snorts, "You're a child."

"Hey, I've wanted to do that since I saw them. Not my fault you're a pretty boy underneath all that armor." She meets his gaze with a glower.

"Pretty boy, huh?" He scoffs, leaning down.

"You heard me." She holds her ground.

He gently maneuvers her back against the stone wall, his voice dipping to something low and intense, "Say it again."

It sends a shiver down her spine, "You're--" Her voice falters beneath his gaze, her body rigid beneath sharp electric.

Why does he have to look at her like that?

"Yes, Essie?" He teases and she bristles at the nickname, any intimidated daze vanishing in an instant as she regains her voice.

"Don't call me that--"

"Or what?" He holds short of her lips, daring her to answer, to push him away.

"Or I'll…"

She stops, eyes dropping to the soft glow along his cheeks.

With him this close, she starts to second guess her indignance. Does she really care that much about a childish take on her name? Zapping him would make her point but then again, she loses her chance to kiss him again. Is this worth making a point?

His hand grazes her waist and the deliberation is shortened in an instant.

No. It's not that important. She lurches forward, closing the distance between them with a loving kiss and Tevez, that smug bastard, smiles in response.

To his credit, he gathers her close, massaging along aching muscles in a way that guides her up onto the tips of her toes. A way that draws her in and soothes her nerves.

A way that only Tevez could achieve.

She should be annoyed but he has an irritatingly calming effect on her. She should be annoyed he can disarm her rage with a kiss or a touch - hell, even a look. She should be a great deal more wary of him and the effect he has over her. But she finds herself not caring; he’s home, dammit. Annoyance aside, she has missed her Titan. Three days at his side didn't do him justice and now? Now she has forever.

"Still a pretty boy?" He teases as he pulls back so she can catch her breath.

"Yeah...but you're my pretty boy." She smirks up at him, enjoying the playful glint in his eyes.

"I'm flattered," he returns, nuzzling into the side of her neck.

She can feel his plating against her skin, the imitation of breath fanning over flesh as she grips his shoulders to steady herself. Eyes flutter shut, her head leaning into his, "You should be. I don't often call dibs on cranky Titans."

"Hm, guess I'm lucky." He mumbles.

"Guess you are."

A comfortable silence settles over them. Tevez's frame relaxes against hers, keeping her pinned between him and the wall but he's mindful of her, trying to avoid crushing her with his affection.

They stay like that for a bit, the sun steadily setting and yet, Tevez only speaks when her hands trace along his shoulders slowly.

"Essa?"

"Yes?"

"...where am I sleeping tonight?"

She pulls back, watching the mischief all but vanish from Tevez’s eyes, "Same place you woke up. My bed."

"You're sure you're okay with that? It's been–"

"Six years, I can count." She smiles, winding her arms around his neck, "Six long…lonely," her eyes drift along his features, "years. And if you think, for a moment, I'm not going to catch up on all those cuddles missed." She rests her forehead against his, "You've got another thing coming."

He breaks into a shy smile, his fingers splayed against her back.

"Alright."

"You ready for bed, tin can?"

"...yes."

"Then let's go home."

—--------------

Two days later…

"So, this is the training arena?" Tevez’s eyes flicker about, taking in the Light-Bearers in all states of sparring.

"Yep. Shaxx had it built to aid New Lights and let veterans refine skills - or settle scores." Essa chuckles softly.

"Anyone ever fight Shaxx?"

"Sometimes. He'll let us have a few rounds every few months. No one beats him." She shrugs, guiding him over to one of the open corners of the arena.

"Not even you?" Tevez quirks a brow.

Essa snorts, "God, no. The only one I've seen beat him is Lady Efrideet. None of the other Iron Lords agree to fight him."

Tevez nods, scanning the other Light-Bearers warily.

He looks nervous. Anxious almost. His mark is secured along his waist but he acts almost as if he's trying to hide it - almost as if it's out of place without armor to accompany it.

"Tev?"

"Hm?" He doesn't look at her, too enthralled with a duo across the field.

"Are you sure you're up to this, love?"

He doesn't react, almost like he didn't register the last word, "Can't sleep anymore. Can't stay in that house any longer. I need to get some exercise in or I'll–" he finally looks over, features contorted in confusion, "Love?"

So he was listening.

"Caught that, did you?" She quirks a brow, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips.

His spine straightens, his shoulders drawn back, "Yeah, I just - when did we devolve to pet names?"

"Devolve?" She snorts.

"...thought I was just tin can." He explains softly, suddenly very sheepish.

"You want me to stick to tin can?" Her arms fold over her chest as she shifts her weight to one hip.

Tevez takes a step closer quickly, his voice sharp and louder than he usually speaks, "No!" He catches himself, a degree of shyness drawing his shoulders down and his eyes to the ground, "No, I just - it caught me off-guard. It's not altogether bad, I–" he rubs the back of his neck, "I don't know how to explain this."

She should save him. Help him out of the hole he's digging for himself but it's kind of entertaining to see him get flustered after he's spent the last two days trying to piece himself back together.

Some heckling will do him good.

"Not altogether bad, huh? So it's not good either then?" She quirks a brow, tilting her head.

"No, that's not what I'm saying either." He heaves a frustrated sigh, "I like the nickname. Really. It's nice to hear a term of endearment, not that I'd expect it given it's been six years and we haven't talked about–"

She tugs him down by the collar of his shirt, silencing the rambling with a firm kiss and he caves. His body sags down a little, almost like he's trying to get closer without actually getting closer.

"You're not great with words, are you, tin can?" She teases when she draws back.

"No." He admits quietly, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Hm, good thing your actions speak more than your words do."

"How's that?"

He doesn't realize?

She could point it out but perhaps - perhaps she'll enjoy this particular tendency without his knowledge.

"Never mind." She steals another kiss before pulling from his grasp.

It's just in time, too.

She notices Shaxx and Banshee making their way over and there's a stack of armor in Shaxx's arms.

"Looks like your new armor is here," she nods toward them and Tevez follows her gaze.

He straightens back up, his anxiety returning and Essa takes his hand as Shaxx stops before them.

"We were just coming to see you," Shaxx nods to both Titan and Warlock alike. "Banshee completed your armor this morning."

Tevez looks to Essa. She gives him an encouraging nod and smile that prompts him to take a step closer to the Warlord and Gunsmith.

"Thank you," he nods to Banshee.

"No problem." The Exo returns gruffly. He takes a gauntlet from the stack in Shaxx's arms, "Try it on."

Once more, Tevez looks to Essa as if searching for approval and she nods. He's so nervous. Why is he so nervous about all of this?

She helps him get the armor on, keenly aware of the gazes they've drawn. She can feel Shaxx's excitement - she can never determine who gets more excited about these sorts of things: Shaxx or the Light-Bearer receiving the armor.

In this particular instance, she's going to assume Shaxx takes the cake.

Tevez is far too anxious to experience something as liberating as elation right now.

Still, she can note a smile tugging at the corner of Tevez’s mouth. Some of that tense tremor has all but vanished alongside his voice - but his eyes are alight with something she can’t quite identify. Excitement, perhaps? Eagerness? When the last strap is synched, Essa takes a step back as Tevez gazes down at his new armor.

Unlike the salvaged plates he'd made due with for the last ten years, these plates conform to his build. They curve effortlessly along metallic muscle and give him somewhat of a sleek design. There are no bizarre gaps or jagged cracks lacing the breast plate or across his pauldron. No, this new armor suits him.

Tevez looks every bit the distinguished warrior that he is and she can't help how proud she feels. It's about time he got something for himself. Still, Essa wills herself to look away before she ventures any further beyond mere admiration.

"So, what do you think?" Shaxx's voice is light with enthusiasm, booming in the courtyard and Tevez is so enthralled with his armor, he doesn't flinch at the volume this time.

That's progress.

"It's…I have no words," Tevez manages, stumbling over himself to try and expound, but ultimately, failing. He looks to Shaxx, gripping the helmet tightly, "I don't deserve this."

Essa’s smile falters, surprise igniting in her features before she looks from Tevez to Shaxx in confusion.

Shaxx’s head tilts as he takes a step closer, "Nonsense. You've more than proved yourself–"

"With all due respect, I didn't save them, sir."

"Not all of them, no. But you fought to. Recklessly, without restraint." Shaxx corrects firmly.

Tevez straightens up, his features contorting in confusion, "What are you–"

"You're people spoke highly of you. More escaped than you think, Titan. You saved a great many lives in those three days."

"Not enough," Tevez returns softly. His shoulders have sagged, his eyes fixating on the earth between himself and the Warlord.

Essa almost steps closer. She almost takes his hand. She almost slaps him. He’s convinced himself he’s unworthy. She isn’t sure if it hurts her or angers her more that he discounts himself so harshly.

"Regardless of whether you deem yourself worthy," Shaxx claps Tevez on the shoulder, "You are by my standards and I trust this armor is well-bestowed."

"Lord Shaxx–"

"This is not up for debate, Titan."

Her Titan caves at last, giving a slow, almost ashamed nod. His head turns toward the Gunsmith, managing a slight smile that Essa knows doesn’t reach his eyes, “Thank you.”

Banshee grunts his response, "One more thing." Tevez straightens up slightly as the Exo steps closer and holds out a handcanon, "Every 'Bearer needs a weapon. Not a scout rifle but, it'll do the trick."

Tevez accepts the outstretched weapon, turning it over in his hands to admire the craftsmanship, "Thank you."

"Sure thing," Banshee returns, "Drop by the forge if you have any questions or need a hand with something."

"I will." The Titan nods just before Banshee saunters off toward his workshop.

"You up for a test run, Titan?" Shaxx prods with a child-like enthusiasm Essa can't quell her laugh at.

"Yes, sir," Tevez doesn't look at Essa this time. Shaxx beckons him out toward the ring and Essa quickly gives her Titan a peck on the cheek.

"Good luck."

"Thanks," he murmurs, touching her forearm gently as he moves past. It’s almost like he’s in a daze now. She watches him slide the helmet on and meets Shaxx's gaze.

Something is wrong.

The two circle one another before Tevez makes the first impulsive move. She’s seen him advance in battle, this was rushed. Of course, Shaxx blocks easily, countering with a swing of his own, striking Tevez in the side and he skids back.

Her hands clench at her sides as Tevez charges forward. His footwork is sloppy, he's not even landing a blow against the Warlord. He hits the ground more times than she can count but he always gets back up, stumbling.

This isn't his style of fighting. This is–

Shaxx tries to grant him a respite but Tevez won't let him. He throws another punch and Shaxx blocks, damn near throwing him to the ground before the Warlord retreats a few steps to give him space to stand.

Essa seizes her opportunity, stepping between the two Titans, "Enough."

Tevez stumbles back up to his feet, clutching at his side, "Es--"

She turns to face him, blue darting over his damaged chassis, "You're not sparring anymore," she touches his shoulder and he flinches, "You're being reckless. I've seen you fight and this - this isn't fighting. You're punishing yourself."

"Get out of the way, Essa," he mumbles as if he's in a daze.

"No." She takes half a step closer, pressing into his side in the hopes the contact will ground him. He is rigid. "Stop this. It wasn't your fault. You did all you could."

He slumps forward, she barely gets an arm around his chest to ease his descent before their knees hit the ground. His hand clutches her forearm and his head drops to her shoulder.

"Then why am I here and they aren't?" He whispers.

"Because," Shaxx's voice draws his eyes up, "You are a Light-Bearer. When you fall, you rise, Titan. Do you hear me?"

He manages a slow nod and the Warlord touches his shoulder.

"Get some rest. Your place is here now," Shaxx's voice is quieter than it had been, gentler almost, "The people here need you now. It's best not to linger on the past."

Tevez nods again just as Shaxx moves off, his head guided back toward the Warlock by her head leaning into the side of his neck.

"Don't scare me like that again," she pleads softly, her fingers wound tightly around the fabric over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," she says firmly, "Just don't do it again."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Let's get you cleaned up."

------------

A few days later…

"Ah, Tevez. I'm glad to see you're back in fighting shape." Lord Shaxx greets the Titan pleasantly when he steps foot inside the room.

All eyes dart to the Titan and Tevez manages a polite nod. When his eyes land on Essa, he relaxes a bit, "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt."

"Nonsense. Please. Join us."

He awkwardly continues into the room and leans against the table just behind Essa. He notes how Shaxx has yet to look away and he has to summon the nerve to meet his gaze.

"Any interest in running a mission?" Shaxx questions with a tilt of his head.

Tevez looks from the Warlord to Essa's hopeful smile and any doubts vanish, "Yes, sir."

"Excellent! You'll accompany Lady Essa on her assignment." He beckons him up to the war table.

Tevez straightens up, moving to her side with no shortage of awkwardness. As Essa's elbow bumps against his in a silent reassurance, his gaze casts about, afraid to see what sort of looks he's earned from the other Light-Bearers but...none of them seem to mind. One even claps him on the back as the Warlord begins to speak.

"Given the intel our scouts retrieved," he activates the holomap, "Our target is in this region here."

"I've been through there. There's a small canyon," Essa plants her hands on the table, leaning forward, "We could set up an ambush. A small group at the mouth, Tevez and I can strike the encampment from above and drive them into the trap."

"How many do you need?" Shaxx folds his arms over his chest.

"Four other Light-Bearers at most. Tevez can handle the rest." She straightens up as Shaxx's head tilts.

"You're sure you want to put that much on him so soon?"

Her eyes lift to Tevez and he realizes she's expecting him to back her up on this. Her hand brushes against his gently, her features contorting in concern for a fraction of a second before he finds his voice and his eyes move to Shaxx.

"I can handle it, sir."

"Very well. Make the preparations, gather a squad."

Essa nods, gripping Tevez’s hand and he can feel the excited thrum of her Light. When she turns to him, she's smiling.

He can do this - as long as she's there.

---------

“We leave in the morning, you sure you’re ready for something like this?” Essa looks over at him as he familiarizes himself with the handcanon Banshee had given him.

“Only way is forward, right?” He peers down the sights before opening the chamber and checking it over.

"Yeah," she moves to his side, her hand settling on his shoulder. "I just…I don't want you to feel like I'm rushing you into this. You can back out, I won't be upset. I can–"

"Essa," he lays the weapon down and looks up at her, "I'm fine."

She stares at him for a weighted moment, "I'd feel a lot better if I hadn't just seen you throw a match against Shaxx three days ago."

"A lapse…won't happen again." He assures her.

Essa sits down on his lap, her hands clasped around the back of his neck. "You still feel guilty about the village, don't you?"

His eyes drop, his hands gently gripping her waist, "Essa…it won't affect the mission–"

"Except that it will. It will affect everything you try to do here on out. You have to face it, Tev. Recognize that a band of that size, no one could have completely stopped them. Not on their own."

He tries to look away but she grips his chin and tilts his head up to meet her gaze, "You're one man, Tevez. Not an army. You did everything you could to save those people and you succeeded."

"Partially." He corrects stubbornly and she narrows her eyes at him.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Being a stubborn asshole. Just this once, Tevez. Recognize that this one thing was beyond your control, and move past this."

"You and Shaxx make it sound so easy." His eyes dart to the window, if only to escape her gaze and Essa leans in, fingers easing to cradle his jaw. He can feel the warmth of her breath against his cheek as he closes his eyes.

"Because we've had more than our fair share of exactly what you're dealing with."

"So it does get easier?" His eyes open and he looks at her hopefully.

Her features soften and he doesn't like the implications.

"No, love. It doesn't. But you get better at pushing through because you have to."

"I don't," he hesitates, "I don't want that to be normal. Not for me."

She smiles slightly but it looks more like pity to him. His grip on her waist falters and one hand gently removes her hand from his face.

"I know you don't. You feel things so deeply," she presses the palm of her hand over his chest, where his heart would be if he still had one. "Every pain. Every love. You feel things others don't think twice about." Her thumb smoothes over a crinkle in his shirt, "Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're less than human, Tevez. Not when you're like this. Not when," she leans in, resting her forehead against his, "You're more human than anyone I've ever met."

Tevez’s fingers trace up her jaw, his palm settling against her cheek and he allows himself to get lost in her touch.

Perhaps she is right. It doesn't ease the ache in his chest but it is enough to remind him that he had done all he could. He fought with everything he had.

It had to be enough.

Perhaps, he is as well…for her.

------------

"I hate this plan." Tevez scowls down his scope, watching the bandits move about their camp.

"It was my plan." Essa returns indignantly. "Do you hate me too?"

His head draws back, his helmet turning toward her and she shies away. His helmet usually makes him less intimidating - hiding those intense eyes of his - but she can feel the irritation from here.

"What?" She manages after a moment, struggling to keep her voice even.

He turns back to the scope, "I'm not dignifying that with a response."

"Technically speaking, you already did." She leans into his side, jostling him slightly but he doesn't react. Her shoulders sag with disappointment as she props her chin on his pauldron, "Why do you hate the plan?"

"Because."

She traces along the armor plate over his bicep, noting the way his fingers uncurl and re-curl around the rifle in his hand.

"Not an answer, tin can."

"Closest you're going to get, Lady Essa."

"You're mocking me," she accuses with a laugh, smacking his arm.

"I would never," he returns calmly though she can hear the smile in his voice.

She rolls her eyes, "I outrank you, you know. You could show some respect in the field."

"Can't outrank someone who isn't in your ranks." He tosses a look her way and she beams at his attention.

"I'd argue you are," she leans in, clinking her helmet against his playfully, "So, I outrank you."

"Arguments and facts are two very different things, sparky." His voice lowers and she doesn't notice his hand has moved from the sniper rifle until it's on her waist and she's tugged flush against his chest.

Heat flares in her cheeks and she is grateful, for once, for her helmet. He leans his head down and she sets her jaw to regain her composure.

"Manhandling your superior counts as insubordination, tin can," her voice wavers, but he pretends not to notice.

"Hm, better reprimand me then," he squeezes her waist and his head tilts.

Her hand drifts to a patch of fabric between his chest plate and pauldron, "Careful what you wish for," she returns softly and he catches on but not fast enough as Arc energy zaps his shoulder. He releases her immediately, jerking back and shaking his arm.

"Dammit." He curses and she laughs.

"You told me to--"

"Didn't think you'd actually do it." He grumbles, setting down his rifle to rub at the plating irritably. "You're going to short-circuit me one of these days."

"Oh, believe me. When I do that," she tilts his chin up, cutting herself short when there's shouting in the distance as her head snaps toward the source of the disturbance.

Tevez snatches up his rifle as her hand withdraws, repositioning to a better crouched position as he peers through his scope, "They're getting ready to move. Secondary positions?" He looks over at her and she wonders how he can switch from flustered to soldier in an instant.

It takes a moment but she nods in confirmation and the Titan moves from his cover toward the mouth of the canyon.

The trap is ready, they need only spring it now.

She shakes her head to clear away the flirtations and draws the sniper rifle from its place along her back. The Warlock lays down on the stone overhanging the canyon, peering through the scope as she scans for the leader of the group. Tevez had confirmed he was already down there a few hours prior, she need only find where and she can take her shot.

Her Titan will pick off whoever flees while the four 'Bearers they brought with will sweep in from the opposite side to clear the camp.

It's foolproof.

“There you are,” the scope settles on the Warlord. He’s just drawn out his Ghost.

She hates the idea of killing a Ghost, especially without giving it a chance to abandon its Light-Bearer and live. But they aren’t afforded the luxury of assuming it won’t rez the Warlord the instant she shifts her scope away.

“Sorry, little one.” She squeezes the trigger and the shot shatters the Ghost.

There’s a moment of shock amongst the Warlord’s men before her second shot pierces his head and he drops.

Now, the clean-up.

Shaxx’s Light-Bearers charge in and she shifts her sights to the Warlord’s goons. Some are looking toward the top of the canyon searching for her, some are fleeing toward the mouth of the canyon. They’re sitting targets.

Tevez has begun his sniping, and it’s only after the first few that she thinks to scan back to those Tevez has hit. They’re not dead. The wounds are non-lethal. She swiftly fires off the finishing shots before lifting her head.

"Tevez! Kill shots! Not wounds!"

Her Titan looks back over at her, "But–"

"Do as you're told!" She bites out, firing off another shot.

He doesn’t answer, but to his credit, he follows orders.

They waste no time, finishing off the remaining goons in a matter of minutes. Shaxx’s ‘Bearers start rounding up any Ghosts who survived as well as scavenging for any useful Golden Age relics.

Meanwhile, Essa pushes up to her feet, easing her rifle back along her spine before starting toward Tevez. Her Titan is a bit slower to get up. His eyes linger on the carnage as he reloads the magazine of his sniper rifle in his crouched position.

He’s tense and that gives her reason for concern.

“Good work,” she tries to sound calmer than she feels as she stops beside him.

His head turns toward her a little but doesn’t lift as he rises to his full height. The weapon settles along his spine and she reaches for him, hardly grazing his arm before he jolts away.

“Tev? What’s wrong?”

His helmet transmats away as he looks down at her, “This wasn’t necessary. The Ghosts…it wasn’t necessary to–”

“It is necessary, Tevez. All of this is necessary,” she takes a step closer and Tevez retreats a step. He looks…shaken. Terrified even. He stares at her as if he doesn’t recognize her. “Warlords like him attack villages like yours. This is the only way to stop them, Tevez.”

He shakes his head in disbelief, "To what end?"

"One where our people are safe. One where men like him," She points at the slumped form of the Warlord, "Don't get to slaughter innocent people.”

“We’re no different from them if we operate like this!” He protests sharply, anger seeping into his voice.

She needs to cut him off before he gets too far - he scares her when he’s truly angry and they can’t afford that right now.

“You have had the luxury of the moral high ground for a decade, Tevez. The rest of us weren’t so lucky.” She takes a step closer, “ Welcome to the trenches, tin can. This is where you fight now."

He shakes his head again, retreating a step from her as his gaze swings back to the shattered Ghost shells littering the canyon.

They don’t have time for him to have a breakdown right now. If there are any others in the area, they’ll come looking to scavenge sooner than later and she’d rather not have another gunfight with Tevez the way he is.

"We can have this discussion when we get home but right now, we need to move, Tevez."

"Right," he murmurs, shaking his head before looking over at her. The look in his eyes - it’s cold. Harsh, even. Burning with a degree of resentment that she’s never seen from him before. "I'll check in with the others. Any other orders?"

"No. That's all." Her voice softens yet still holds a degree of sterness. "I'll be along shortly." She nods toward the group down in the canyon and Tevez moves past her.

She can't breathe. She waits until he's past before she moves toward one of the larger trees on the edge. A glance over her shoulder reveals the fireteam is gathered together, some of the others are trying to talk to Tevez but his head is down.

Things aren't the same. He's figuring that out right now.

She rips her helmet off, sucking in a deep breath as she sags against the tree. He's naïve to think his way will keep everyone safe - it didn't before, nothing has changed.

But she wasn't about to throw that in his face.

He's still so vulnerable right now. So new to a world beyond his quaint little village that had the luxury of just scaring off Warlords.

The one they've just killed - no, the one she has just killed - has been terrorizing the region for years. Village's burnt to the ground, hardly ever any survivors from raids and pillaging.

He had to die.

But Tevez doesn't see it. The Warlord was leaving Shaxx alone because of the power he holds. Tevez must assume he's someone else's problem and that someone is hers.

Tevez will come around. He has to.

She's not sure she'll survive if he doesn't. Six years was too much without him. She won't be able to endure an eternity now - not without him.

Never again without him.

--------------

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