#terms to know

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Neurodiversity: Terms to Know

Gràinne Warren Play Therapy

#neurodivergence #terms to know #neurodiversity #actually neurodivergent #types of neurodiversity #autism #adhd #epilepsy #OCD #ptsd #dyspraxia #dyscalculia #down syndrome #bipolar #dyslexia #feel free to share/reblog #Grainne Warren Play Therapy (Facebook)

[marsduality]

TikTok by @relationship_anarchy, In response to the comment: "What is the difference between solo poly and casually dating multiple people? Sorry I'm new and learning..."

[beginning of transcript]

Yes, this is such a common misunderstanding and I'm so happy to dig into it. I really appreciate the genuine curiosity and compassion with the way this question was asked and I encourage folks to keep bringing that curiosity and compassion because I love answering these questions.

This is such a common misconception and it's not anybody's fault because we're all indoctrinated into a mononormative society. In order to understand how solo polyamory does not just mean you're dating people casually - we actually have to leave the paradigm of mononormativity behind and step into a paradigm of abundance. So I'm about to invite you to step into that paradigm of abundance with me right now.

Culturally, we have all been fed the narrative that in order to prove your commitment and your love to someone, you must ride the Relationship Escalator with them. If you don't know what the Relationship Escalator is check out my previous videos, I made a few videos about it.

The truth is that there are so many ways to show your love and your commitment to someone without marrying them and without having their babies and buying a house together and doing all of the Relationship Escalator stuff with them.

What I love about practicing solo polyamory is that it gives me the freedom and the spaciousness to create my own narrative around how love and relationships look like in my life. And it's based on what my gut is telling me, and my body. Not based on this pre-formulated script that society has given me. What I love about solo polyamory is that I get to make my life work for me and I get to keep my autonomy. Not in a way that has me disconnected from other people, but actually keeps me in balance. I have such a deep intimacy with myself because I balance it out that way. It is so intentional, the way I structure my life.

To me, practicing solo polyamory is acknowledging my capacity to have deep levels of intimacy with multiple people. I look at my life and say; "What needs are not getting met? Where can I meet those needs?" So for example, right now not all of my sexual needs are getting met, and that's okay - I'm glad to know that. So I made a dating profile and I said "Hey, all I really have capacity for right now is a play partner - who else is looking for a play partner?"

But the thing is, in my life, I also have these deeply emotional, romantic relationships and my sexual relationships are not always mutually exclusive from my romantic relationships. It ebbs and flows with who is in my life and what needs are getting met for me and what I have capacity for.

Love and intimacy are not scarce. People do not need to compete for it. Love is the fabric of the universe. I can have love and intimacy with one person and it takes nothing away from my other relationships.

[end transcript]

#Poly #Relationship_anarchy #Terms to know #solo polyamory #Relationship escalator #Unpacking monogamous programming #Love is abundant and scarcity is a lie

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[underwhelmingalchemist]

*mom voice* You can get these words back when you know what they mean

#i know narcissism is a personality disorder #and that gaslighting is a therapy term #but you get the idea #npd #mental health #mental illness #intrusive thoughts

[feralthembo]

I am BEGGING yall to remember that "gay panic" means "i killed this person because theyre gay so you cant jail me for it" and NOT "UwU too gay to function"

Yall CANNOT reclaim this one please stop trying

#like i get it u want to take power from oppressors or whatever but using this jokingly will alienate other queers in ur life #i cannot trust anyone who doesnt know the severity of the term gay panic

[oobbbear]

I want to post this here too because I’ve seen it happen a few times

Please understand that there are cultural differences and language differences, if you see this happening let the person clarify what they meant, that person might just not be familiar with words the western side of the internet use

#bearz rambling tag #no it’s not really possible to let everyone who uses this term to change #because as far as I know this is the most common word with use on Chinese websites #I didn’t know that pairing are called ‘ship’ here #like why would I even know that #‘ship’ makes zero sense to me #it took me a while to learn the fandom language people speak here #it’s hard #give people time #shipping culture is very different too #Like on Chinese site you HAVE to clarify the Top and the Bottom of this ship in the ship name #it is very very important to them #people who like the same ship but with different Top Bottom preference will fight till no end #imagine how confused I was when I first got here #where there’s no top bottom differences #it’s not really a smut thing #it’s more a dynamic thing #AxB and BxA is very different #oh I can talk so much about the differences on fandom cultures #if ya are interested in more please feel free to ask #it’s very interesting to me #I wanna talk about it

[mayvette]

ijbol

#adventure time #finn mertens #princess bubblegum #marceline #marceline abadeer #at #bubbline #mayvart #disclaimer i dont think finn is straight j think hes stupid and doesnt know gay can also be used as an umbrella term

[astralpenguin]

self care is writing a fic that you’re literally the sole target audience for

#nobody was asking for a spn pmmm crossover fic focusing on claire at 14 #who by this point has already been manipulated into agreeing to something without knowing all the terms and conditions first #and it was awful and the worst day of her life #so when kyubey approaches her she doesn't go for it #but the people around her do and so claire gets to watch people she loves die horribly AGAIN #like there is nothing in spn canon that contradicts any of this #but literally nobody is wanting a fic like this to exist #nobody except for me #so i guess i have to do everything myself around here #el talks

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

#yes i know imma start a war on this #and there are more specific terms #but I'm bringing it down to the bare yes or no state #justice for pluto imo #but I'm curious to see what tumblr thinks #pluto #space #planets #solar system #milky way #astronomy #polls #nasa #science

[anneapocalypse]

So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.

#yes i'm just going to come out and say it i'm talking about sera #not exclusively but i am talking about her #'but her writer actually iS A--' you don't know that! it doesn't matter! and i don't care! #just say that you do not like the character. #people will reblog posts about the latest actor or YA author or whatever getting forced out of the closet and be like #'wow. :( that's terrible.' #and then GO RIGHT BACK TO DOING IT #when are we going to learn #when are we going to stop doing this BEFORE somebody is forcibly outed #because in practical terms #that means you have to be okay with queer characters being written by straight people. #you have to stop weaponizing that against writers you don't like. #you have to be willing to critique the writing on its own merits #without using the writer's (assumed) identity to prop up your arguments #that's how it works #but who wants to actually change the way they talk about media #when tearing apart people's identities for clout is far more entertaining. #gwaren exports #fandom problems #fandom critical

[marsduality]

From Mark Michaels' & Patricia Johnson's Designer Relationships

[Text ID:]

RELATIONSHIP ANARCHY: A RADICAL APPROACH TO POLYAMORY

I practice relationship anarchy--where each relationship has the ability to grow organically into whatever the best arrangement for it is, without being hampered by artificial definitions or constraints. Thus, for me the line between friendship, romance chosen family, etc. is very fluid.

This works for me because it means that I can have a wide social net that can grow and shrink with the level of energy that I have available at any given period of my life and the people in my life don't feel stifled by the need to fit into some kind of definitional structure. What matters is that we care about each other and will provide what we can for each other, and we can set boundaries ourselves.

I love that I can give the energy to people in my life that is proportional to what I have available and those in my life don't feel slighted if there's less at any given period of time. We know that we care about each other, and that's what matters. It is freeing to be able to renegotiate things as life moves along. And in general, it's wonderful to know that I have SO many people in my life who think highly of me-this isn't limited to what's traditionally seen as romantic relationships; I have close friendships that are just as meaningful (or often more meaningful) than romantic ones, and the relationship structure I have can ascribe that importance to them without constraint.

- Puck

[End Text ID]

#Designer Relationships #relationship anarchy #poly #terms to know

[thesaintofnevergettingitright]

Watching the Percy Jackson series has made me empathize with Aphrodite more than I ever thought possible.

Cuz these kids are TWELVE and are out here just trying to SURVIVE, but every time Percy and Annabeth interact I’m giggling and kicking my feet like “Hehehe you don’t know it yet, but that is the love of your life. Yes, yes, there’s a big scary monster but what about the slow-burn romance?”

And I always found it so annoying in the books when Aphrodite would show up and only be interested in the romantic dynamics between the characters and otherwise be kinda useless. But now??? I’m totally on the same page with her. Cuz I know they’re going to fight a million monsters and win, and at the end of the day one fight looks just like the next. But they only fall in love ONCE and it’s AMAZING.

Like damn. Apologies the goddess Aphrodite. I suddenly get it.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #pjo tv show #annabeth chase #percabeth #Aphrodite #I’d like to think that if at least be a little more helpful in Aphrodites position #but honestly I can’t guarantee it #knowing what’s going to happen messes with your priorities apparently #It almost makes me sympathize with the gods a little #not a lot but. a little. #this post is brought to you by the terms ‘seaweed brain’ and ‘wise girl’

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[killldeer]

UPS WORKERS HAVE REACHED A DEAL THAT MEETS THEIR DEMANDS AND AVERTED A STRIKE!!!

EDIT 7/27/23: please reblog this version of the post instead! it provides a fuller picture of what’s going on and explains why this isn’t over yet.

#i know that this is tumblr and we love our Hot Strike Summer here but THIS IS GOOD!!!! THIS IS FANTASTIC!!!!!! #workers got the terms they were asking for without having to forgo work and pay to do it #and the ppl who would be hardest-hit by supply chain issues (i.e. those who need particular medications supplies etc) will be safer as well! #labor rights #ups #ups strike

[mareliini]

Look at my lace boy

#bobbin lace #lace bobbin #honestly dont know which term is right one