There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious.
and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!"
Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible.
You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester.
Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it?
So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth
like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.
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Oblivious
Eddie Munson x Reader
Synopsis: You think of all the times you flirt with Eddie and he doesn't realize.
You couldn't believe it. You wanted to bang your head against a wall. Either Eddie Munson wasn't into you or was a certified idiot. You knew it had taken him three times to graduate, but you never really thought about it as some people don't do well in a classroom setting. You believed that to be the case for Eddie. He could create intricate campaigns for DND as well as explaining chord progessions and why they sounded good. He was insanely smart at things, he just had difficulty focusing sometimes. And yet, you started to feel like you were losing brain cells around him.
You liked Eddie Munson. You thought Eddie would have picked up on the fact since you flirted with him a lot. And yet, he never seemed to notice. It was ridiculous.
You had trailed your hand up his arm. He didn't flinch and just smiled at you. You said he could play a bard as his next character, since he was so charismatic and cute. Eddie had thanked you and said being cute wasnt a requirement, but he was the DM and would be running the campaign.
You had tried leaning in when talking to him. Eddie didn't seem to notice, continuing to talk and move about so often he moved away from you unintentionally. You complimented how he smelled once. He said it was just weed and if you liked it he could give you some (it was absolutely not just weed).
You tried to bat your eyes at him in a flirtatious manner. He asked if you had something in your eye. You tried that seductive lip bite thing you've read about in books. He asked if you were constipated. You had tried the good old yawn and put your arm around them technique. Twice. The first time, Eddie had playfully bit your wrist. The second time, he licked you. You wanted his tongue on you, but not in that way. Of course, both times you went to remove your arm he had grabbed your hand and pulled it closer. But nothing had changed after, it was like it never happened.
So you took to older techniques of flirting. You dropped something so he would pick it up. Eddie just joked that you were clumsy, which annoyed you so much you didn't even flirt further (regardless of how true or untrue the statement was). You made sure your ankles were exposed. He didn't even notice. You weren't sure what you expected with that one. You could try to faint, but weren't sure if Eddie would catch you or not.
You dropped compliments all the time while Eddie brushed them off. You bought him a new ring to wear. He claimed it was metal and would fit right in with the rest. Eddie had put it on then gave you one he wore and said, "Now we're even." You had went home and screamed into a pillow. You also kept his ring on a chain and wore it half the time. Eddie had simply smiled and gave you two thumbs up.
The most recent thing was when you had held your hand up against his. Eddie's hands were slightly bigger than yours. You had mentioned how big they were and hinted at what else was big. Eddie had given you a wink and wiggled his eyebrows. He then went back to explaining the newest campaign. You interlocked his hand with yours and said it fit well. Eddie had simply smiled and said thanks. Thanks!
No. Nope. You were pissed. You hadn't wanted to just flat out say it but enough was enough. You liked Eddie Munson and he was going to hear it once and for all.
You stormed into the Munson trailer without knocking. Eddie looked up from where he was sitting eating chips on the couch. Before he could chastise you for entering you snapped," What the hell is wrong with you?" Eddie's eyes narrowed, "The fuck? You storm into my house and-" "Shut up!"
Eddie's jaw clenches and you glare at him. "No, seriously Eddie, what the hell? I've been flirting with you for months and you don't even react?" Eddie's mouth drops open. He blinks a few times as you continue," I've tried every known thing in the book, but you don't even think twice!"
"You were flirting with me?" Eddie asks quietly. You huff and flop onto the couch next to him," Apparently not well if you couldn't tell." You cross your arms and pout. Eddie clears his throat," I mean I thought you were flirting but...just didn't believe you meant it. Not with me at least." You look at Eddie who is blushing. "Why would I flirt with you if I didn't mean it?" You frown slightly. "Practice? Wouldn't be the first time. Ya know, flirt with the freak." Eddie cleared his throat and your heart sank.
"I uh liked it though," Eddie turns to look at you, "the flirting." You inhale and exhale slowly looking at him. "You just have to be clear. Communicate to me. I overthink things and convince myself I am overanalyzing. That's why I'm a good DM, I think of like every scenario and what could happen. I explained the uh flirting away. Just thought you were being friendly or felt comfortable." Eddie shrugs slightly. "Okay. Then let me be clear. I like you Eddie Munson. Not just as a friend. I want you to be my boyfriend."
Eddie's smile slowly spreads across his face. Eyes lighting up and twinkling with joy," And I like you. And I would love to be your boyfriend." "Good." You nod. Eddie reaches out and interlocks his fingers with yours," Good." You both sit in silence for a moment. "So are you gonna kiss me or-" "yup, yes, yeah absolutely."
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