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snow-in-the-desert · 3 years

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Dramione Recommendations

Ok so, 2020 has been A LOT but on a personal note one of the most surprising things to happen was me discovering Dramione fanfiction and becoming unashamedly obsessed with it. I really didn’t see that coming but I’m here now and I’m here to stay.

I think I started reading in the Dramione fandom around mid July last year?? (In all honesty I’ve lost any true sense of time’s progression at this point so I could be well off the mark with that) And I’ve decided to compile a list of all my favourite fics I’ve read so far. Why? I really just want to gush over all the amazing writers I have found through this fandom because y’all deserve it.

Side note: If any of the authors actually sees this post just dm so I can buy you coffee or post you writing supplies or something idk I feel like that’s the least I can do for all your amazing work x

Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

Ok I have to start with RN because this fic is pretty much the sole reason I decided to create an account with A03 or a tumblr or just decided to get involved with this fandom at all.

I headcannon this story hard. But I think even if you aren’t a fan of Dramione you should just read this because it is so unbelievably good and well written and poignant and Draco’s sarcastic personality in this is truly a thing of beauty in this - I relate to his inner monologue’s on a deep personal level.

I could rave about this story any time, any day of the week, just ask me. In fact, maybe I’ll just start a HeyJude19 fan club to fulfill that urge.

There are so many elements that I love but for the sake of brevity, RN is a beautifully told story of Draco and Hermione finding love and healing in a post-war HP setting. Heyjude19 had the very special ability of making me want to simulatenously laugh, cry and swoon with the power of her words. Just stop what you are doing and go read it now if you havent already, ok?

I also really enjoyed reading Bells on a Hill, Beers, Potions and Unwise Notions and A Shift in Focus, if you are looking for smaller fics, definitely give these a go. They are all funny and heartfelt stoires that will make your tippy toes wriggle with glee.

The Rights and Wrongs Series by @lovesbitca8

The Right Thing To Do, All The Wrong Things and The Auction are the holy trinity of Dramione writing. I have christened it thus, so mote it be. And frankly I’m not interested in any other opinion than that one, thank you very much!

After reading this series I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on the orginal HP books without thinking of Hermione’s and Draco’s memories of their time at Hogwarts in these fics as anything other than strictly cannon.

So many things to love about this series but I think one of the major highlights was Hermione and Draco’s use of occlumency. LoveBitca8 created such beautiful visuals with how occlumency works as a magical practice and seeing Draco and Hermione so devoted to eachother to the point of safeguarding their inner most feelings to protect eachother was unbelievably romantic and poetic.

Also the smut is divine ;)

Manacled by @senlinyu

My heart will never be the same after reading this story. Like I actually can’t think about this fic without getting a lump at the back of my throat. I have never felt so emotionally ruined after reading anything, compared to the likes of this fic. Just please, please read it. To badly quote HP, reading Manacled will make you suffer but you’re going to be happy about it.

The flashbacks are a rollercoaster in of themselves but the way Hermione inadvertently refers to them when she is still in a state of memory loss was so heartbreaking to read. My heart still aches for them both. Also its a truly satisfying to see Draco and Hermione written in a way were they are both so fiercly protective of one another. They make my insides go soft.

I also really enjoyed Snow Fall, Now Is A Gift and All You Want by the author but to be honest anything written by Senlinyu is always thoroughly enjoyable and worth a look.

The Erised Effect by @adaprix

Ada is QUEEN of dramione smut but ‘The Erised Effect’ is top tier. Its equal parts funny, romantic, sentimental and oh so sexy. Ada really knows how to build and build on sexual tension and doesn’t disappoint on the final delivery. I’m a big admirer of her writing style and just veraciously read whatever she posts but ‘The Erised Effect’ is just golden. A must read. (Also Pansy’s sexual fantasy in this story is a visual I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove from my brain so thanks for that Ada)

Also quick side note: Adaprix’ stories were the first I read when I was looking into this fandom and it was enough to get me hooked on the pairing from the get go so I have that to thank Ada for too. I remember devouring all the stories she had posted to A03 and when I was done I was like... now what am I supposed to do with my life?? And that’s basically when I began to look deeper into the fandom and thus the course of my life in 2020 changed for the better.

Some other stories I love by her are Break for Me, All My Sins, The Big 4-0, The Fucklust Series and The Flat in Bath.

Clean by @olivieblake

This 6th Year AU where Draco and Hermione work together on a class assignment and end up falling in love had me feeling all kinds of ways when I read it. I almost don’t know where to start but I think one of the stand out things for me was how immersed I felt in reading it.

Hogwarts is captured really well, you get a good sense of class atmospheres, character nuances and behind the scenes of events that happen in HBP but from a Draco and Hermione’s perspectives. It’s well executed and intricate tapestry of a fic. With an excellent plot twist ending!

Also Hermione and Draco’s relationship in this is equal parts fluffy and smutty and it just ticks all the right boxes that you want to see for those characters ;)

Breath Mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm

The angst in this one is just *chef’s kiss*

God I love this fic. The way Draco is portrayed is very true to his defensive and tetchy character in the original books but he is also given so much more depth. The way his diary entries are written are just so well executed. It’s a true testament to the author’s creative writing skill. And I LOVE how even though Draco is clearly in such a messed up place, he still has a basic level of self respect and dignity that he won’t tolerate being used or undervalued in his relationship with Hermione.

Yep, I really love Draco’s characterisation in this one if you can’t tell. But Hermione is also well written too. Her stuggles and trauma of returning to Hogwarts after war is described in a believable and grounded way. And my heart definitely ached for them both. I just wanted to wrap the pair of them in a big fuzzy blanket and tell them that everything will be alright.

WANDS OUT! by @persephonestone

This murder mystery / Dramione / Theo x Harry / AU crossover is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I read it. I felt like I was picked up and plonked right into an alternative dimension where all the characters of HP are just living it up in an Agatha Christie novel.

It’s a funny and clever story that I found refreshing to read amongst all the other fanfics that are usually cemented in the HP timeline or universe. Theodore Nott in this fic is perfection he should be written like this in every fic from now on in my opinion. I couldn’t stop giggling any time he had a scene in the story.

And the ‘only one bed’ trope in this fic is 10/10. I don’t want to give spoilers but ohmygod. It hits all the right notes.

The One With Technical Difficulties by cassielassie

Cassielassie has an excellent three part series of Dramone called ‘The One with...” but I have to give special credit to this story in particular for one main reason. ELEVATOR TROPES. I can’t get enough of em. I think I have my early childhood viewings of NCIS to thank for my obsession with elevator tropes they just do something to me that simply cannot be explained with mere words. The palpable sexual tension of being in a broken down elevator with an ‘enemies to lovers’ pairing, a heated arguement breaks out followed by a discovery of mutual feelings and a romantic embrace...

Eugh. It gets me everytime. And this fic is no exception. I loved it for all the reasons I’ve already stated above but also for the attention to detail in Draco and Hermione’s careers makes this one particularly immersive. The dynamics between them established in this one-shot are convincingly portrayed and the chemistry between them is so undeniably hot.

The Light is No Mystery by @masterofinfinities

Yooo if you want to read a dramione fic that is a deep dive into Pureblood culture and Post-War recovery but is also a perfect allegory for discrimination and today’s political landscape of moral grandstanding for votes then look no further than this one.

This story has a bit of everything. Intrigue, mystery, ptsd and recovery, enemies to lovers / secret relationship, government conspiracy and humour, to name a few. I eargerly await every update to this story and am anxious to know how it ends!

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen

Finally! A fic that gives me the Ravenclaw representation I crave. I think I could recommend this fic on the lore depicted of Ravenclaw house alone. ‘The Stacks’ and Rowena Ravenclaw’s own ‘come and go room’ are just such cool details that I could see being real in the HP universe.

This fic is so cosy and makes me feel like I’m just popping back into Hogwarts for another year. You get to see all the usuals like prof. Mcgongall, Nearly headless Nick, PEEVES, Hagrid, as well as learn more about minor characters from the other school houses. The story follows Hermione going to her day to day classes and there are interesting concepts about magic and alchemy that are explored.

Draco and Hermione’s relationship in this one is of course very fluffy and heartfelt. But it’s the attention to detail that really makes this fic outstanding and the experience of reading it feels fleshed out and true to HP universe.

A shorter fic by HeartofAspen that I recommend is one called Set in Stone, it has an adventurous, Indianna Jones vibe to it, that I am so down for.

Teachable Moments by @purplesugarquills

In this fic Hermione is an innocent little virgin determined to learn everything about sex. And Draco Malfoy is her tutor. If that isn’t enough to get you on board then I don’t know what is. Both Heartfelt and Steamy. PurpleSugarQuills writes smut so well but it’s the progression of their growing attachment and the nervous treading of new uncharted waters of romantic relationships for both of them that just adds a whole other level of feels to the story. Also chapter 9 is like reading poetry - its so good. Eugh just give it a read if you haven’t already.

Les Pèlerins by @pacific-rimbaud

This story is high art. It’s transcendent. Reading this story feels like the emotional equivalent of standing around a hundred glowing fairy lights, sipping hot cocoa and being wrapped in the loving embrace of a s/o. I can’t speak my praises highly enough or even become passably coherent in my words when I try to articulate a review.

From the very first paragraph I felt like I was just whisked away on a Parisian holiday and I’ve never even bloody been to Paris but damn it if this story didn’t make me feel like I was there. The writing style is just so tactile and intense it’s like I could feel the cold winter air brush against me as I read it. Eugh I just completely fell in love with the story and the writer.

New Year’s resolution. Read everything PacificRimbaud has ever posted online.

#This post is the online equivalent of me thrusting a pile of books into your hands and poking at you until you every single one #A behaviour I may or may not already be prone to #dramione #fanfiction #fanfic recommendations #I think I may have missed a few but I think I'll try to make a habit of gushing over new writers as I find them #Doing this just satisfies a deep inner urge in me to just compliment the everloving shit out of writers #who made my life a little more bearable with their words

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prof-peach · 3 years

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If you could cross over two of your favorite games, which would you choose? Please explain, why that crossover would be a good match.

Oh you’re going to regret asking this one, I’m bout to GET SERIOUS.

So Pokemon, obvs, I love the whole world it’s built in, but the games imo are REALLY boring, I haven’t enjoyed one a lot since gale of darkness, the main ones just are a little too linear obvious plots, pretty standard setups for story and style. Speaking of style, the games lack personality, the models aren’t animated well, moves have no dynamic energy or visual difference at times, and the turn based battle style just feels kind of, I don’t know, old? Slow? Just doesn’t suit what I enjoy personally, gives me a FInal Fantasy vibe and I just cannot stand the speed at which things happen in those games, plus not into 3rd person ‘let’s build a team of people’ much, but that’s a problem for another time. With this all in mind, the game I wish would happen is like gen20 Pokemon, far future sadly, I doubt I’d see it in my lifetime but god I’d be happy if I did!

Ok so take the newest Zelda graphics, the visual treat that was BOTW, open world, puzzles, not JUST combat, you got side missions, hunt the chickens, find missing pets, parcels, items, whatever. Love it! The horse taming?! Amazing you funky little game. Now take the bad guys and beasts from that. And put Pokemon in instead. Give them the diversity, the life and believable natures that BOTW gave the animals, I followed a frog in BOTW for 15 minutes, and it was a great experience, it felt like it was believable. Above world spawning, ACTUAL difficult gameplay, rare spawn rates, make dragons hard to get again, cmon, it’s too easy now, make it so we need a certain set of Pokemon for certain tasks. Water types big enough to carry you will be able to get you to new areas, rock types that can help you climb mountains faster, or break through blocking boulders. Actual towns with more than 4 houses in them, shops, barns, farms, homes. Like little link with the heat, maybe ice types would struggle in volcano areas, or bug Pokemon not be so comfortable in gale force winds. Give the weather more of an effect on your partners. Mounts, don’t even get me started that Pokemon Let’s go had you able to ride any of the larger species, but swsh did not???? Bitch please, give me my rideable Pokemon. The wild area too was far too closed, limited, online was laggy and a mess, camping is limited, let me do more with my team. Pokemon for me is all about the actual creatures, how they live with humans, and the many wonderful things they’re capable of. Yes of course it’s cool they can fight, but like what else you know?

I’d love a game that lets me buy a plot of land, maybe plant things, custom build things. I’m a sucker for the fallout4 settlement builds when they’re modded to hell and back, they’re fun! It can be a really calm and creative process. If I could do that and skip the main campaign and all the battles for a bit? Amazing, it sound perfect for me. I am that distracted hoe collecting flowers while the kingdom burns in the background. Side quests are everything to me. Let me give homeless people enough money to get them in a home? Let me adopt Pokemon that are stray around the town? Plz oh plz bring me a Pokemon game that allows me to work WITH my team to do more than KO other species. I want to save and buy a plow for my buddy gogoat, and grow amazing foods to sell to get currency to spend in decorations, to spoil my team. Give me actual game consequence, if I ignore that sick and injured Pokemon I find in the wild, later maybe it’s family don’t want to help me out with a different problem, too stricken from grief. I am all about the average bits, the old women who need help, the lost pets board in town, the general day to day stuff. Let me get cosmetic items for the Pokemon I keep, cute outfits, special gemstone items, let me actually live with them, or even feel remotely like they’re realistic.

Ok so in game, if it’s looking like BOTW it’s pretty beautiful but also stylised, I’d have it so you can send out a maximum of 3 Pokemon from your 6, using bumpers and such to throw them out. If you hit the trigger you switch from controlling the human trainer, to the Pokemon you’ve targeted with a standard lock on targeting system. You then can be the leader, but be the Pokemon. You could technically defeat the game without a human if you wanted, which incorporates the mystery dungeon games I think, and caters to that crowd. I’d love to see the use of attacks out of battle, things like using water gun to grow plants, using ember to start a campfire faster and stave off the cold. There’s no consequence to Pokemon anymore, and I think that’s where it’s lost me. I have to admit I miss the days of a poisoned pokemon fainting if you don’t heal them soon enough, I miss gym battles that were actually tough, damn, try picking charmander in red and beating brock without grinding in viridian forest first, it’s not easy. And I loved that. Yes it’s a child’s game, it will never be difficult again, but god it’d be nice to have a bit of a challenge, or maybe a difficulty setting, so some could play it with hostility turned off, great for kids, or you can be n adult like I know so many Pokemon fans are, and play it on expert mode and ACTUALLY have to work hard to beat the game. Alternate skill trees anyone? Train gun a fire type to ACUTALLy combat water moves?? Please! Cmon! It frustrated me that every challenger has pretty much a systematic set of moves to use to win. Grass opponent? Fire attack spam until you win. It’s dull, so at least with very difficult tricks to either find or learn in game would make it more achievable if you can send that fire type in and I don’t know, train them so much the heat evaporates the water mid-battle and you suddenly have a shot at winning. Pokemon has taught me that if you work hard enough you can achieve something, but the games just have such strict ways to win. Feels wrong.

In terms of battling, let us BE the Pokemon, let us learn to dodge, train our speed, train our defence, make a team of truly tough Pokemon instead of just, average? Some species have a cap on their skills, a squirtle has lower stat points than a Charizard, but you can’t ever change that? Let me choose the Pokemon I believe in, and let me work with them until they’re just as good, if not better than the game tanks. This would also make online battles more interesting. Everyone picks the top trio. Fairy, dragon, legendaries. And yknow what? It’s boring. That one IRL fight with the monster Pacharisu that won in the world tournament with follow me and the situs Berry? Unbelievable, I love that little rat so much because of this, so let us all have a chance to build a team that’s strategically viable, strong, and potentially a winner formula, even if they aren’t fully evolved, or the biggest Pokemon in the world. Yeah maybe you have to grind way harder with your unevolved Pokemon, but you get to the end game and win, because you put love and time into species that you enjoy, not just good fighters.

Unfortunately I am beholdent to Todd-idiot-Howard, and I love the Eldrescrolls and fallout games (before they got dumb, not that I don’t play the new ones. 76 I’m looking at you, you big asshole game.) honestly I hate online games, so none of that junk, just a good old fashioned open world sandbox game is plenty. Games for me are an escape from others, not an invitation to socialise. To each their own of course, and I do play online games sometimes, just pretty short lived ones, over watch and rdr2 for example. Would they be sometimes better on private servers? Yes of course, fallout76? Want to play with others? No. I do not. Please leave me alone. And if you buy a private server you’re feeding the monster that is Todd Howard, the man the myth the asshole, then we’ll get more bad games like 76. I just so desperately want the Pokemon company to see what a beautiful potential game they’ve got on their hands, that could be suitable for far greater audiences, but instead they’ve focused on the kids. It’s fine, it’s functional, but it’s lost to the fans from day 1, that are all 20+ years old now and want something meatier to play, something far more broad and inclusive. I also hate that there’s no wheelchair option in any Pokemon game. Like cmon, it’s not hard to include that.

In short, BOTW + Pokemon, with a sprinkle of open world sandbox to it, less fighting, more fun. Or, at least both options. Sure, go fight everything, great, but I want to farm carrots over here with 6sunflora, plz let me have some peace.

Edit: I forgot about harvest moon, chuck some of that in there too.

SECOND EDIT: someone in the comments mentioned to put this in Unova? Plz love yourselves, this game would be ALL MAPS. Stuff one singular location, this is the ideal game, put every map in it, join them, put islands in, make them more explorable, more detailed!

#pokemon #not peach #OOC

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loveyhoneydovey · 3 years

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Dating Sam and Joaquín headcanons

Note: I was trying to write headcanons and I couldn't pick which one of them I wanted to write about, so I was like "why not both?" So here's the result, it's a mess and I wrote this at 3AM, I'm so sorry 💀

All my stories are written with a bisexual reader of colour in mind, but anyone else is more than welcome to read them

Sam Wilson x Joaquín Torres x fem!Reader

Warnings: slight mention of injuries, SMUT (lots of filth i'm sorry)

· listen omg, constant entertainment from all three of you, like one of you is always up to something

· ok so i think it started out with only sam and torres

· they had been dating for a while before they first met you, their new neighbour

· you know how torres was fanboying over sam?? yeah, that was nothing compared to how you felt when you first met them

· like maybe you were struggling with the boxes you were carrying during your move because they were so full

· sam and joaquín were on their way home from their morning jog when they saw you, and what kind of people would they be if they didn’t help their cute new neighbour

· when they first introduce themselves, you’re just grateful to see the people in your new building are nice. You also felt like they looked super familiar

· they could see the gears turning in your head when they’d first introduced themselves. Both theorizing about how long it would take you to realize

· and then after like 2 minutes, it hits you, and you feel so dumb

· you try to remain calm and collected since you didn’t want them to think you were crazy or feel like they couldn’t be comfortable in their own home

· they were super chill too, you noticed joaquín was the more talkative one, while sam was content with letting his boyfriend take charge of the convo

· by the end of it you ended up agreeing to hang out together, you promised them baked goods as a thank you for their help

· you’d totally stuttered a few times, and half the time you were staring at them with heart eyes (which joaquín was not used to but sam was jngercewdc have y’all not seen the way torres looks at him whenever they interact?)

· you end up forming a relationship with them, which eventually morphs into something more

· none of you had ever had more than a partner before, so you were all figuring it out together

· torres would be so chaotic. So organized on the field, yet so clumsy at home

· sam is the one that has his shit together (not always but definitely most of the time)

· and when you start dating them, they quickly realize you’re even clumsier than joaquín, and sam’s like “oh no, there’s two of them now”

· ok let’s talk about the good stuff now

· so many freaking cuddles

· post-mission cuddles are a thing in this relationship

· just the three of you laying in bed, holding each other, tracing patterns on each other’s skin, enjoying each other’s presence

· both of them LOVE having their hair played with. only difference is sam has a bit of difficulty asking for it while joaquín will put his head on your lap and put your hand on his hair

· if they come home with minor injuries, you help them clean treat their wounds. The first time this happened, you only had avengers themed band aids (which torres LOVES), so from that point on you only buy those

· on lazy days, after some lazy morning sex, all three of you like to spend the day baking new recipes and eating them in bed

· joaquín getting whip cream on the corner of his lips and on his cheek

· sam making fun of him before you tell him he also has some on his nose

· sam putting whip cream on your face when you least expect it to get revenge

· tickle fights, they used to team up against you until an elbow was once accidentally thrown and someone got a black eye

· you and joaquín love taking cute pics of sam when he’s not looking. He noticed it eventually but never said anything because he thought it was adorable

· both you and joaquín coming home with stray animals and trying to convince sam to let you keep them

· and of course he’s gonna say yes, you two had perfected your puppy eye technique

· he’s that kind of person who says no to getting a pet, then ends up spoiling it more than you and joaquín combined

· you never need a blanket when you’re around them, especially around sam because they’re always so warm

· movie night dates always ended in the three of you doing anything but watching the movie

· both of them flying you with their wings at least once

· you calling them captain and lieutenant in public to tease them

· messing with them by acting like a fan who’s never met them

· like at one point you buy a poster of each one of them and go up to them and you’re like “i’m a big fan, may I get an autograph”, which makes them roll their eyes

· dude they’re also both so playful. Always cracking jokes and even competing to see who’ll come up with the best joke

· the three of you always know you have a home with the two others, and that you can always openly talk about your problems and insecurities without fearing each other’s reactions

· I think sam is the one that has a harder time asking for help. so you and joaquín are more attentive to his body language and any other signs that might reveal that he’s feeling down

· it breaks your heart because he was always taking care of you, joaquín and everyone else, and you needed him to know he was important too

· you decide one day that the three of you should go on vacation every once in a while, because you’d all been working so hard and deserved a little peace

· (also bc shitless sam and shirtless torres)

· imagine eventually they’d give you their dog tags as a way of proposing 🥺 i’m melting

· you had a little ceremony while on a tropical vacation with your closest friends and your pets and had the time of your lives

· you knew you technically couldn’t legally get married, but that didn’t matter. You wouldn’t have it any other way

NSFW headcanons

· now let’s get into the filthy stuff

· whenever you act up, you usually do it around joaquín, because you knew he’d have a harder time saying no or disciplining you

· and he knew you were using that to your advantage, he saw right through it

· yet most of the time it worked

· sam was more of a no nonsense type of person, so if you wanted to break the rules and act like a big girl, he was going to treat you like one

· sam is the ultimate brat tamer and you can’t convince me otherwise

· as a punishment, he loved making you ride his thigh (have y’all seen this man’s thighs? three course meal), but not letting you cum

· whenever you’d whine or pout, he’d remind you that you brought this on yourself

· while joaquín would try to get him to go easy on you, because he took pity on you and kinda has a soft spot for you

· until one day you made the mistake of pushing him too far

· maybe you’d felt like they weren’t giving enough attention, so you threatened to go get it somewhere else. Maybe you even brought up how you could go to that one friend who had a crush on you (you definitely weren’t going to, but you knew how to push their buttons)

· whether you were planning on following through with that threat of not didn’t matter

· you got the punishment of your life on that day

· he’d edged you for hours, to the point where you were crying and trembling and begging him to cum

· so he made you cum, non-stop

· “you wanted me to let you cum, didn’t you? Now take it like a good girl”

· even sam is SHOOK, now he almost took pity on you

· by the time they’re done with you you can barely remember your own name

· they took you to pound town 😌

· ALSO, you’re all switches, and sometimes you enjoy cuffing one of them or being the one giving out the orders

· I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, torres has a praise kink and LOVES being called a good boy

· Sam has one as well, but it’s more discreet

· likes being told how good he’s making the two of you feel, how no one else can do it like him

· ok but aftercare with them would be so soft

· you’re all super attentive to each other’s needs and usually know if it’s time for a bubble bath and cuddles or if you want to be held and drift to sleep

· lazy morning sex!!! just the three of you taking your time, exploring each other without a rush and not worrying about the outside world

· if they’re on a mission together and have a bit of free time, expect lots of nudes and teasing

· or sometimes even videos, which you find not fair because they have each other and you’re all alone

· NFJDNVEF imagine you buy them one of those clone a willy kits as a joke 💀💀💀 but you end up actually using them

· you know how they gave you their dog tags? yeah it drives them crazy whenever they’re fucking you or you’re riding them and they see the tags bounce

· especially those times where you’d wake them up in the middle of the night because you had a wet dream and couldn’t wait till the next morning. Where the only light entering your room would be provided by the moon, sometimes shining on the tags they gave you

· … imagine sometimes two of you decide to team up against the third and compete to see who’ll give them more orgasms 👀the loser has to do whatever the winner wants

· Jdfvfds lord this is such a long mess i’m so sorry

· in conclusion, there would never be a dull moment with those two and they’d be the sweetest, gentlest partners

Tags: @bury-my-love-inthe-moondust

#sam wilson #sam wilson x reader #joaquin torres #joaquin torres x reader #just sam wilson #tfatws #tfatws imagine #sam wilson x joaquin torres #sam wilson x joaquin torres x reader

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hitoshiikigai · 3 years

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Foreign Feelings

anon request: Hiya there Sen!! I love your blog and i would love to read more of your writings. Can i request an imagine for being like a first year european shy student and becoming Nekoma’s manager, she slowly develops a crush for kenma but doesn’t know how to express her feelings because of language and because she thinks kenma won’t return her feelings

‪(o_ _)ﾉ彡☆ a/n 「i made it gender neutral, i hope that's ok and if it's not, i can change it to your liking! also, this is my first romance fic in my whole life, i hope it's satisfactory(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ i feel like i just forgot the slowly part-」

‪pronouns used: they/them

‪word count: 2.8k

You continuously repeat your introduction in your head as you wait for your turn. It's ok, you can do this, you've learnt this in basic Japanese lessons, it's just a few lines. Nothing too complicated!

The voice of the person behind you breaks the chant in your mind, "I'm Haiba Lev and..." Your thoughts block out the rest of his introduction. Is he a foreigner too? That name definitely does not sound Japanese but you note of his perfect pronunciation- a screech of a chair moving startles you and you're suddenly aware of the eyes of your new classmates staring right at you.

Sucking in a deep breath, you stand up, doing a bow, the Japanese words tumbling clumsily out of your mouth, "I'm (Y/N) (L/N)- no wait- (L/N) (Y/N), please just call me (y/n). Nice to meet all of you." You keep your eyes on your desk as you bow once again before sitting back down. You pretend not to notice the murmurs and sounds of interest about the two foreign students in their class, busying yourself by preparing your things for the lesson.

Mechanical pencil on the right. Pencil case right above your notebook. The ruler-

"Psst... Hey, you're not from Japan, right?" You turn around to meet glowing green eyes that somehow made you feel like you were looking into a cat's eyes instead. You nod and he grins in what you could guess as excitement. However, before he could say any more, he was cut off by the teacher signalling the start of class.

Maybe he's a potential friend?

After a few lessons of trying to keep up with the lessons taught in Japanese, your brain's finally granted with a break from trying to translate and you can't help the sigh that escapes you as you rest your cheek on your table, closing your eyes.

"Hey Y/N! Wanna have lunch with me?" You open your eyes to see your tall classmate looming over you- right, his name's Lev. Or should you call him Haiba?

You quickly weigh the pros and cons of eating with him. He seems like a nice person to be friends with and having a non-Japanese friend in this less-than-familiar country could definitely do you some good, maybe your Japanese can improve faster as well. But... you were planning to just find some nice quiet spot to listen to music in hopes of preventing the growing headache, a result of an overwhelming first day.

Well, there's no harm, you suppose... "Sure, I don't mind," you agree and you search for your wallet in your bag as Lev waits patiently.

Once he sees you're ready, he smiles widely and starts walking to the cafeteria most likely and you follow him, having to walk slightly faster to keep up.

"Where are you from? I'm half-Russian but I can't speak Russian. Oh! I know a few people here already! I visited the school before the school year started and made friends with people from the volleyball team. I'm actually gonna join the team once they start taking in applicants and-" Lev rambles on and you could only hum or nod, insert a few words of your own when he asks a question until you reach the cafeteria.

"Lev! Here! You're late!" You see a student with black messy hair that spikes up everywhere except for the fringe that covers his right eyes waving his arm. Lev bounds up to the table with you in tow and you can already see a few curious eyes examining you. Your gaze sweeps across the table, an uninterested guy playing with a switch catching your eyes a tiny fraction longer than the others before you look down at the floor, shuffling just a bit behind Lev, your current shield.

"This is Y/N, my new friend! They're not from Japan and I thought I could show them around," Lev claps his hands on your shoulders and moves you forward, putting you right in the spotlight.

Oh no. Ok, deep breaths. A simple introduction, no big deal. It's definitely a smaller group, better than a whole class.

"H-hi..." You clear your throat, cursing yourself mentally for the stutter, and repeat yourself with what you hope was a stronger voice. There's a chorus of greetings and before you even realise, you find yourself squished between Lev and a friendly-looking guy with a buzzcut, who you soon come to know as Kai, after a round of introductions.

How did you end up here? In a gym full of flying balls that could accidentally hit your face anytime? With your arms full of water bottles that you just filled up? You definitely did not sign up for this... Ok, well technically you did, you just didn't know what was in store. Try being a manager just for one practice, they said. Somehow, it feels like you were tricked somewhere along the line.

You hand the water bottles to the boys, jolting slightly when your hand unintentionally brushes against Kenma's. He thanks you quietly and you only nod in acknowledgment, avoiding any form of eye-contact with him and quickly moving on to hand the rest of the water bottles out before going back to the sidelines to watch.

It's really amazing watching them play. Everyone seems so coordinated with each other and the teamwork is seamless. Despite that, there are a few individuals that pique your interest: Yaku who seems to be able to teleport anywhere in the court, Lev with his tall and powerful stature, and more importantly, Kenma with his smart plays. It's like he calls the game, dictating where and how the ball goes and it's a whole experience observing him. Of course, the other members are amazing in their own ways, watching the team play is like watching a well-oiled machine working.

"How are you, Y/N?" Kai asks from beside you, wiping his sweat and giving you a warm smile.

You peel your eyes away from the quiet setter to answer Kai, and also to make sure you aren't caught staring at the certain player, "It's..." You try to find the correct words in your brain as Kai waits patiently for your answer. "It's nice... to watch. Everyone's good." You blush in embarrassment at the simple words you used, not having the full vocabulary to communicate what you really want to say. Kai, being the angel he is, makes a noise of approval and gives another warm smile which at least make you relax.

"If you need help with anything, you can ask any of us," he tells you before going back to the courts. You bow to him which he only waves off, laughing amiably.

After attending a few more practice sessions and having lunch with the team almost every break, you've grown a bit more comfortable with them, especially with Kai and Yaku, along with Lev. The team always tried their best to use simpler words whenever they spoke to you and you're definitely grateful for their efforts. However, there's just one person you've barely interacted with:

Kozume Kenma.

The third years obviously noticed the lack of interaction, especially Kuroo and he made it his own personal mision to try to get the two of you to talk to each other more, albeit with many difficulties.

"Come on, Kenma. You don't think I don't notice you paying attention anytime Y/N talks? You're not exactly very slick, you always pause your games just for Y/N," Kuroo nudges Kenmas side with his elbow which Kenma slaps away in irritation.

"Shut up Kuroo."

Kuroo leans in closer to Kenma, "You can't tell me you don't notice Y/N staring at you during practice? Blushing whenever you're 5 metres away from each other? Or when-"

"Kuroo, please just shut up," Kenma groans and glares at his switch, clicking away at the buttons and suppressing the urge to scream in anger as the words 'GAME OVER' flash on the screen. Instead, he closes his eyes, inhaling deeply before letting out a long sigh.

Kuroo smiles knowingly before his eyes shift over to something behind Kenma.

"Kuroo-senpai? Kenma-senpai? Has Kai-san arrived yet? I need to ask him something..." Kenma stiffens as your soft voice reaches his ears. He bristles at the 'senpai' title attached to his name, wanting you to just rid of the honorific altogether. He was supposed to tell you, in fact, he had been wanting to tell you to just refer to him casually just like everyone does but he never got the chance. How could he when your conversations only last 30 seconds long each time?

Jump. Jump. Duck. Ju- GAME OVER.

He pressed down his buttons more aggressively, a frown slowly forming on his face. Why couldn't he be more talkative? Why is talking so hard? Why is talking to YOU so hard? Lev does it so easily, Kai too, and Yaku and... and just everyone in the team but him.

You stare in concern as you watch Kenma play angrily with his game and you look to Kuroo for answers only to be met with a shrug.

"Yaku will be running late, some class meeting or something," Kuroo stands up and stretches, walking out of the gym, "Meanwhile, I'll go get my things."

The sounds from Kenma's game filled up the awkward silence and you take a moment to steel yourself, walking towards Kenma. "A-are you okay, Kenma-senpai? You look... angry?" At your question, Kenma's fingers still and the sounds suddenly stopped.

Kenma looks up at you and places his switch on his lap before looking away. "I'm okay... I'm not angry." He mumbles and you smile in relief at his words. "Do you want to play?" He suddenly offers his switch to you and you blink in shock, never really having known or seen him to ever share his switch with someone, simply rejecting anyone- save for that tangerine boy from another school- who tried to even get their hands on his beloved switch.

Noticing your hesitance, he places the gadget on the bench, between the two of you, letting you take your time. You look back to search for anything that will clue you in if he doesn’t actually want to do this, but finding none, you gingerly take it, careful not to drop it or at least try to not leave any embarrassingly sweaty fingerprints. You feel Kenma shifting closer to you to get a closer look at the screen and you don’t know if you feel lightheaded from him being the closest he has ever been that you can actually feel body heat radiating from him or from forgetting to breathe. Trying to focus on the little digital character instead and your fingers clumsily hitting the buttons, a contrast to the way his nimble fingers moved with muscle memory.

And if you felt butterflies in your stomach as he occasionally positioned your fingers on the correct button, the butterflies immediately flew away the moment Lev walks in the gym and you were left with just tingling fingers.

You cradle the box of apple pie you bought in a rush from the bakery, trying to tidy up the ribbon you tied around it to make it more presentable. You had asked Kai about what Kenma liked because you knew there was no way you could write or even say anything close to romantic in Japanese, so you figured out you could give him little gifts, you know, actions soeak louder than words, that kinda thing? As you think of the many ways you could say something wrong by declaring your feelings to him in a foreign tongue like unknowingly saying something ridiculous, or stupid, or even worse, something dirty! Lev’s incessant teasing and mock-kissing noises only stopped when you reached the gym.

“Oh? Y/N-chan, who’s that apple pie for, I wonder,”Kuroo gives you a knowing look and blatantly stares at Kenma, who just seems unbothered. You try to reason yourself that he was only concentrating on his game. Ignoring Kuroo, you take a tentative step towards Kenma, making sure you’re in his line of sight before thrusting the box to him, “For you Kenma… Uh, enjoy it!” You blurted out before brisk walking to the equipment room to take refuge, not even waiting for his reaction.

You hear the muffled shouts of the boys and you can imagine them crowding Kenma. You wince in sympathy.

During the whole practice, you had to deflect the many looks and questions the boys gave you. Thankfully, Kai managed to stop them before it got too much. A godsend. Before any of them could corner you after practice, you zoomed past the gym doors the moment you were done with your manager duties, forgetting that you had barely paid any attention to Kenma the whole time.

“Lev, do you know who’s this from?” You ask Lev, holding up the canned drink that was left on your table.

“Oh, that’s from Kenma. He came here earlier to place it there. He honestly could’ve just asked me to pass it to you but he said I would lose it or something. How mean,” Lev huffs but you can only focus on the fact that Kenma went through efforts to make sure you received it.

“Thank you for the apple pie yesterday. It was really nice,” Kenma took a seat beside you, on the same bench you first played his switch together.

“T-thank you for the drink! It’s my favourite,” you smile shyly. The corner of his lips curl up, just ever so slightly, which you think was the trick of the light.

Kenma gives his switch to you, now a weekly routine for the both of you on days he finishes class earlier. The distance between you and him grew smaller and smaller until your elbows brush against his at any slight movement.

This is it. This is the moment. You made a mental deal with yourself a week ago. If you win this level today, the one where you always lose, you’ll confess to him and if you don’t, you’ll simply leave your feelings hidden and buried deep in the safe in your heart.

Your eyebrows furrow in concentration, refusing any help from Kenma (Kenma just ignored the tiny sting in his heart when you did).

In the meantime, Kenma takes the chance to watch you, sharp, feline eyes studying your features. The stray baby hairs peeking out after a long school day, the slight sheen on your skin from the hot and humid gym, the determination in your eyes. Determination? To beat the level? He restrains himself from chuckling at your cuteness. This felt very different when he watches Shouyo play his video games. Kenma just really feels different any time he’s around you.

You abruptly stand up and cheer, “I did it! Kenma, look!” You show him the screen with the words ‘MISSION COMPLETE’ flashing repeatedly on the screen. You grinned widely at him and he smiles back in fondness.

Suddenly, you go all quiet, which concerned Kenma. “I have something to tell you.” At that, he tilts his head, urging for you to go on.

“I… IlikeyouKenma!” Your words end up being stringed together but from the widening of his eyes, he mostly likely understood.

“You do?”

You nod with pink dusting your cheeks, your fingers fiddling with the ends of your blouse. You’re prepared to get rejected, maybe even move back to Europe and never show your face to him again. And if not, at least you could quit the manager position to avoid any future confrontations with him.

“I like you too, Y/N,” he replies softly, but it was definitely audible in the quiet gym.

And if all else fails- wait what? This time, it’s your turn to look at him wide-eyed, processing what he just said.

“Y/N! Did you leave me for your boyfriend?!” The doors burst open with Lev boisterously shouting, Yaku walking calmly behind him with a twitching eyebrow.

You backpedal away from Kenma, dropping the switch in surprise and you scramble to pick it up, saying a stream of apologies to him, wiping away the dust and checking for any cracks.

Yaku, being more aware of the mood, kicks the back of Lev’s knees, adding a smack to the back of the head for good measure, hissing, “Shut up, you idiot!”

You make eye contact with Kenma before bursting into giggles, him just letting out a snort. You’re just glad you managed to confess before Lev could confess for you.

[1 New Message]

Kenma: wanna beat the next level after practice? you can come over to my house for dinner

You: yes! i’d love to!

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connorandersons-blog · 3 years

Text

Computer Virus

Connor gets a virus from a murder victim, but the only way to 'cure' himself is... you guessed it! Have sex! This has definitely been done before it was still really fun to write! I also blame the convin discord server for this. It's just pure smut with feelings thrown in at the end.

The reference to rape is from the victims of the crimes, Gavin and Connor very much want this and consent. There is dubcon only cause its the whole fuck or die and I wanted to be safe!

Word count: 3,037 Rating: E

Hope you enjoy!

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He shifted in his sheet for what felt like the hundredth time since getting back from the case, trying to ignore the shivers and jerks that wrecked his body. He grabbed the edge of his desk, his knuckles turning white as his… problem got worse again. "Ha-Hank, I um, need help." It was getting too much, and he needed it to just stop.

Hank hummed looking over with a raised eyebrow. "What's up, son?"

"So, I uh, may have downloaded a virus." One that his systems didn't exactly know how to fight. "Normally I can fix it myself, but it isn't acting like a normal virus." It wasn't creating anything new but just enhancing things that were already there.

Hence why he kept staring at Gavin and having to stop certain programs, even when they kept coming back online without his permission.

He pouted when Hank burst out laughing, drawing nearly everyone's attention, even Gavin looked over rolling his eyes. Fuck, Gavin's eyes on him (or at least in his general direction) wasn't helping at all. Gavin caught his staring and stared right back with blinking. It reminded him of cats finding for dominance, and now he's thinking about that, fuck.

He had to look away, trying to focus on Hank and not the rising heat in his face and his whole body for that matter. "Hank! This is serious! I got it when I connected to the victim." A dead one, so he thought it would be safe. Apparently, this virus didn't need power to stay alive, fucking wonderful.

That sobered Hank up a bit, realizing exactly *what* virus Connor was infected with. "I am not helping in that way. Sorry, Con, I appreciate it, but no. Not happening."

That only caused his blush to get deeper, shaking his head so quickly he's worried it would fall off. "What? No! I don't, oh my god, Hank, what the fuck? I meant I literally need help: I'm overheating!"

"Oh. Uh, I can get you a drink? But you know what you have to do to kick this if you don't wanna burn up." Hank moved to stand, and Connor let him. They had both seen the burned bodies when the androids hadn't been able to work it out of the systems.

And that was the problem. Connor would have to have sex with someone, the even worse problem was it didn't have to be consensual. With the cases they'd seen one too many sexual assaults due to it, which was hard to figure out how to charge them. On one hand it was self-defense, if they didn't they would die, but it was still rape. They'd let the lawyers figure that out, their main mission was to watch whoever created the virus.

"I know, I know. I'm going to go to the bathroom, splash some water on my face so I can think clearly for a second." Standing was awkward but he shut down that program so he could at least make it there without his problem being too obvious.

The bathroom was blessedly empty, he went to the sink. He yanked off his tie, tossed that and his jacket to the counter, and unbuttoned his shirt, the cool air making him shiver in relief. "Fuck." He grumbled, leaning against the counter. He cupped his hands under the cool water and splashed it onto his face, feeling the wet trail down to his chest.

He didn't have time to pull his shirt on again before the door swung open and none other than Gavin Reed stoked in, eyes catching Connor's before sliding down to openly stare at his chest.

"Jesus, what the fuck Tincan?" Gavin said, crossing his arms.

Connor ran a hand through his hair, trying desperately to not jump Gavin here and now. "I'm having some technical difficulties, I apologize for my appearance."

"Right… you know if I found a human-like this I'd say they were horny. Can droids even get horny?" Gavin leaned on the counter, apparently forgetting why he came in.

"We can, the case I currently have deals with a virus that does just that but to the extreme. If the android does not release the tension they will overheat and die." He should have told him to just fuck off, use the bathroom and leave, but he wanted Gavin to know.

"Right."

"I've been infected with this virus."

He watched as Gavin's face morphed into one of shock, then worry, then… interest? "Well damn. Can't you just rub one off? Not the first time someone's done that in these bathrooms." Gavin let his arms relax, eyes trailing up and down Connor's body. He lingered on his chest and crotch where there was definitely a tent to his pants.

"It seems it must be done with someone else. I'm not sure why. I was going to contact one of my friends, perhaps Markus, to help if I couldn't get this under control." He knew Markus would understand, he'd been kept up to date on the case and had worried about the possibility of Connor getting infected. He had assured Markus it wouldn't happen, his firewalls were too strong and if it did get in he could work it out without a problem.

"Don't you have like… android antibodies?"

"Not exactly. This virus is different than most. I have to go and find the strings of code myself but they keep multiplying faster than I can delete it. My systems aren't recognizing it as a virus but part of my normal coding." Which just made it so much harder. And it took them a while to find in the androids since scans had said nothing was wrong.

Gavin's face scrunched up adorably, trying to process the information. "Fucking hell. Well, how much time do you got left 'til you literally die from being too horny?"

"Approximately thirty minutes unless I have sex, then the timer stops as long as I eventually climax." Might as well be as honest as possible if he really was going to die. It didn't feel real like it was just some silly prank, but he'd seen the damage. He knew how much agony the androids went through as they caught on fire and burned alive.

"What the fuck?! You're going to die in thirty minutes but you're standing around talking to me? Go get some dick or whatever!" Gavin pushed away from the counter, shaking his head. Connor couldn't help but try to get closer, leaning forward just a bit. "... Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to control myself, I swear." He tried to say it normally but it came out as a whine. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to take in slow breaths. The closer he got to the timer running out the harder it was to think clearly or even stop himself from grabbing Gavin and fucking him on the counter.

He jolted, biting his lip to stop the moan that threatened to spill out when rough, calloused, warm hands ran up his chest. "Oh god," he whined, tilting his head to expose his neck.

There was a tentative hot lick to it, a moan slipping out of him. "Can't let you die, I guess. Do you need to fuck or be fucked?" Gavin asks, fingers massaging Connor's chest. He shivered when those hands started playing with his nipples, getting them since and hard.

He kept his hands to himself even as they twitched to hold and pull Gavin even closer. Each touch from Gavin was like an ice cube to his skin, burning cold, yet it felt so good. "I don't know, just need you."

Gavin hummed, pulling Connor down enough so he could suck a nice big hickey onto his neck. "I can do that."

No. Fuck, no this wasn't right. He weakly tried to push him away and off but his hands just holding him by his shoulders. "Don't do this, don't want to hurt you or… not without you wanting it too." He couldn't rape someone, he couldn't do that to Gavin or anyone else.

Gavin paused, pulling away so they could see each other's faces. "I've wanted to get my hands on you from the moment you walked in. It was so unfair, it was like they stole you from my dreams and made you real. Drove me fucking insane."

"Please touch me," he whimpered, leaning closer. It hurt so much, his body tugging him closer to Gavin to get anything he could from him.

"Shit! Right, sorry Tincan." Gavin grumbled, crashing their lips together, teeth clinking awkwardly until they got into a fast rhythm. Gavin leans against the sink until Connor needs more and picks him up to sit him on it, slotting himself between his open legs.

Connor ground his hips forward, hissing at the electricity that shot through him, making his arms tighten around Gavin.

Gavin broke the kiss, gasping for air but taking the time to shrug his own jacket off and Connor grabs his shirt and yanks it over his head. He needed his hands on Gavin and he needed it now. His chest has some hair, and Connor couldn't help but squish and play with those soft but firm pects.

"I want you to fuck me." He sighed out when Gavin scratched down his back. "I need you to, please Gavin."

Gavin sucked at the skin on his collarbone before pulling off with a soft, wet pop. It hit him that they were in the bathroom… at work. Anyone could walk in and see them and yet he didn't want to stop. It only made him want to keep going, the idea of being caught sending a thrill through him. He could easily say he had to, he had the virus after all.

"Yeah, yeah ok. I, oh fuck, I don't have lube or a condom on me." Gavin leaned forward, resting his head on Connor's shoulder, biting down to keep his own moans quiet. The bathroom may have thick walls but if someone walked past there was the possibility they'd hear.

"Don't need a condom with me and uh… I don't need lube either. I kinda self-produce it." Thank God for that. He could get away with doing it without on himself, it wasn't like humans could hurt him in this way.

Gavin's mouth dropped open as he leaned back, eyes wide as saucers. "Well fuck me then."

"I thought you'd be doing the fucking," Connor teased, reaching a hand down to cup Gavin through his pants. He bucked his hips into the hand, letting out his own small whimper.

"Fuck off! Shit, ok uh, how do you wanna do this?" Gavin asked, pushing off the counter, but his hands quickly went back to touch and pull Connor close.

Connor glanced around before eyeing the stalls. He hooked a finger around Gavin's belt loops and pulled him into one, sitting him down. "This ok?" He pulled his own belt off, tossing it to the ground.

Gavin nodded so quickly his head was sure to fall off, but he pushed his own pants and boxers down, eyeing Connor as he did.

The cold hit him up but he really couldn't care less. He hadn't even closed or locked the stall door before he reached behind himself and pushed a finger in. He bit his lip, working himself open quickly, eyes squeezed shut. He could hear the slick sound of Gavin fucking his own hand roughly at the sight of Connor. And if that didn't do things to him.

He pressed a second finger in, then a third after a glance down at Gavin's length. It wasn't too long to be a problem, but it was plenty thick, flushed from the blood rushing through it. His lube had already kicked in, it had done that the minute he was infected but now he had an actual use for it.

"Have you done this?" It was probably a stupid question to ask, but he wanted to make sure Gavin at least had an idea of what to do, even if Connor would do most of the work.

"Trust me, I've had plenty of dick and given plenty. You aren't my first pretty boy, not by a long shot." Gavin smirked up at him with all the confidence in the world.

Connor keened at the petname, nodding quickly. "Thank god, so have I if you're wondering." He had been very curious after deviating and had some friends that had no problem helping him experiment.

Apparently, he was taking too long because his body started to tremble and the timer started up again. He pushed it out of his HUD with a small huff. "Shit, ok, you ready?" He positioned himself over Gavin, glancing down to make sure they were lined up.

Gavin's hands rested on Connor's waist, thumbs rubbing soothingly into his perfect skin. "Course I am, take what you need, baby. I'm yours to use."

His hands rested on Gavin's shoulder as he slowly sank down onto his cock, both groaning at the sensations. He just felt so sensitive, skin burning in a good way from where they were connected. He sat himself down, hips twitching but he needed to give them both time to adjust.

Then Connor rose up and sank back down, again and again, speeding up to an almost inhuman pace. Gavin leaned forward capturing Connor's lips in a heated kiss.

"So good, baby," Gavin mumbled when he needed to breathe again. "Keep going, ok? Shit, you're so beautiful."

He rolled his hips just the right way that had him close to screaming, but Gavin was quick enough to stick two fingers into his mouth. Connor sucked on them, licking between them and swirling his tongue around the tips. Gavin pressed the other to the small of Gavin's back, almost reverently as he let Connor fuck himself just how he wanted it.

Connor took the fingers out his mouth to intertwine their fingers, his other still holding desperately to Gavin's shoulder as their foreheads pressed together. It was close to being caring and intimate, but Connor didn't want to think too hard on that. Gavin was just doing this to keep him alive, nothing more nothing less. Right?

Gavin kept mumbling sweet nothings against his lips, their breaths mingling as Connor's bouncing started losing its rhythm. "You close?" Gavin whined, his hands tightening enough that would hurt a human, but the pressure just felt good to Connor.

He nodded, already feeling the tenseness come over him. There was a coil inside him but he couldn't get there, he needed something.

"Come on, Connor. Let me see you come." Gavin pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Gavin probably had no idea what he'd done, but Gavin saying his name like a prayer shook him to the core and he couldn't hold on anymore. He said it like he… like he loved him, but his mind went blissfully blank as he sat him onto Gavin's lap, squeezing around him.

He could feel Gavin in him, feel himself being filled up but he went limp in Gavin's arms. The man didn't seem to mind, just putting his arm tightly around him as they tried to slow their breathing.

He checked for the virus but it was completely gone and out of his system. He felt overheated but not unnaturally so now, now he felt content and satisfied in Gavin's arms. He pressed soft kisses to his shoulder and neck, leaving lazy hickeys here and there. "Thank you," Connor mumbled against his skin.

"Yeah, no problem. Hopefully, you enjoyed yourself?"

Connor nodded, his eyes still closed in bliss. "Very much so. Though we should both get cleaned up and back to work." Not that he wanted to even move let alone work, but he had responsibilities. He had to tell Hank he was ok and managed to get it out of his system.

Gavin's hold tightened protectively around him, their hands still clasped together. "Nuh-uh, not yet. You fucked me so hard I need more than a minute and you're staying with me for it."

Connor hummed happily, nuzzling at Gavin's neck before laying his chin on his shoulder. "Ok."

The two sat there and no one even came near the bathroom (little did the two know, Hank had said there was a problem in there and told people to just hold it for now, and everyone listened). It was calm and warm, but he did pull off, making them both hiss. He sat back down, wrapping his legs around Gavin's waist.

"Could we do this again?" He asked meekly, still hiding his face. He didn't want to push, Gavin was generous enough, but he didn't want this to stop.

Gavin was silent for so long he was sure he'd be thrown off and yelled at for even thinking it was a possibility. But then Gavin pulled back, cupping his cheek gently and pressing the softest kiss to his lips. "Yeah, we can do this if you want. I'm ok with whatever you want, just sex or… more?" Now Gavin looked nervous, but Connor broke into a wide grin.

"More! More, please, I um, yeah I'd like more." This couldn't be real, but Gavin was still holding him and pressing kisses all over his face making him giggle. "Gavin!" He whined, his smile widening impossibly.

Gavin smiled back, his eyes lighting up beautiful even in the bathroom lighting. "Good, cause so do I. But I think we should at least leave the bathroom, my ass is getting sore."

"Oh!" Connor jumped back, offering a hand to help Gavin up. They got toilet paper and cleaned each other up with soft words and laughter. They still both looked thoroughly fucked, but maybe people would think they just fought? One look at either of their necks would prove otherwise, but that was fine.

He wasn't sure if he'd first thank or punch the person who created this virus, but either way, he would catch them. Plus Gavin had promised a reward for doing so, and he wouldn't fail his mission.

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1zashreena1 · 4 years

Text

I Am Having a Sad -9

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess has a bad and lonely self-esteem day. Diego goes too far too fast from 2500 miles away and she calls her safeword for the first time in her life.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

FEELS. the L word, SAFEWORD, depression/anxiety, self-esteem issues, sensory processing issues, sel-expression difficulties, plus size woman+fit man, soft!Diego, overwhelmed Princess, is a relationship happening?? apparently. Leftover high school Spanish.

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic @symbiont13 @nicke0115 @bunnykjm @rosee-sensuelle @girlpornparadise @mandoplease @heresathreebee @xxsteph-enrixx @jetiikad @joalsglasses @mutantcookiesecrets @demoncatstone @squidlywiddly87 @lockedoutofmyotherblog @poeedamerons

I am having a sad. This is normal and okay. I just have to wait it out. I do not need to text him. This pep talk would be more effective if you would stop staring longingly at the last selfie he sent you.

It isn't working. All you want right now is to be smothered in Diego but he is in a different time zone. And you don't want to be clingy. And demanding. And needy.

Surely making yesterday's selfie your new lock screen will help, right?

With a big sigh you flop backwards into your bed. You eye your phone like it's a live grenade. It hasn't even been eight hours since the last text and. And you have this… pain? In your chest? What if I'm annoying him?

He has to be super busy, I should just wait. What time even is it in LA right now?

You snatch up the phone and check. 7:46 pm PDT. You wonder what he ate today. Did he have dinner yet? What shirt is he wearing? Does he have a headache? He always says he has a headache when he gets back to New York. And then you rub his head, stroke through his soft hair, stretch out his solid neck, break up all the adhesions in those broad shoulders.

Bitch, this is not helping. What do you hate about him?

Oh yeah, that list is blank.

You open up the text conversation and stare at the blinking cursor. Just one text can't hurt, right?

You look at the selfie again. He's in bed, deep plum sheet tucked up under his chin, all sleepy chocolate eyes and a soft little smile. His face is relaxed, leaning against his left hand. His beard is ruffled on one side, flattened on the other from where he must have slept on it. You can feel tears welling up again.

How the fuck is he so gorgeous? Why is someone who looks like that sending me selfies? I have no right to this. I don't deserve this.

You reach out and trace one finger down his cheek. His right dimple is visible under the stubble. Minimizing the picture, you go back to the cursor. The screen is blurry until you blink and one tear slips out.

You type out one hasty 'hey' and hit send before you can quadruple guess yourself. This is stupid. He's too busy for your little drama queen hissy fit meltdown.

Sorry, should've asked if you're busy first

Send.

Enough time passes that you flip the phone screen-down and plop it on your heaving chest. You bring both hands to your face and press into your closed eyelids. Just as you reach back down with a huge sigh the phone vibrates.

Princessssss. You know I'm never busy to you

You choke out a sob-laugh and try to breathe normally. Okay, now a decision. Idle chatter or metric fuckton of feels? While you waffle about it, Diego initiates a videocall. Oh, hell no. You jab 'Decline' so hard it bends your nail back.

What is wrong? Why can't I see you?

I just look like shit rn. Please don't

That has never been true. Mi princesa bonita

Always quick with the compliments. You sniffle.

I just. I guess I just miss you. Tonight

Perfect, you hit send before could have deleted it. Great job. Wonderful. Brilliant.

Is everything ok? This does not sound like sexytimes

Oh, Diego.

Yeah, I'm fine. Mostly. I mean nothing is wrong, its just me

Just me having feels

… should you have sent that? Probably not. Do you regret it? Yes, instantly. In fact, if preemptive regret were possible you would already have drowned in it.

The phone is quiet for a minute. Good job dumbass, now he IS annoyed.

What kind? Sad feels? Headache feels? Work is stupid and frustrating feels? Huffy feels that require cheese? You have many feels. At all times. It sounds exhausting

Yep. I'm annoying and clingy. You chastise yourself rather effectively.

You're right. Sorry. I got this

Does that sound bitchy? Is it bitchy? Oh my god, I need an off button.

Nonono. I asked. You have to answer. Its a rule

Your laugh is sharp.

Since when do you care about rules lol

When they're your rules. We agreed to answer direct questions honestly, yes?

Well fuck. He got you there. You had agreed to that. When you two sat down in your living room after the Emotional Spanking*™ and had a 'groundframe setup' discussion. Sometimes you were fairly certain he mangled phrases just to watch your eye twitch violently. Little shit.

OK fine. I'm feeling shitty about myself. Happy??

Now that is bitchy.

FORBIDDEN

And no, that does not please Diego

And is that why I exist? To please you???

Before you can stop it, your temper flares.

No Princess. The other way. Let me please you

Oh no. Oh shit. What. Is. Happening?? You are royally fucked now. This entire conversation has gone so completely off the rails that you can't even define a 'train'. Those little bouncing dots have not stopped yet.

Should I tell you how I miss you? How these stupid meetings and these stupid people and my stupid sister bore me when I would rather be listening to you read a dictionary? Or sing every word to every song ever played on the radio? Or explain the differences between cat breeds?

Or maybe I could say how ridiculously empty this bed is with only me in it. How there are no tiny socks hidden under the comforter. Not a single lip balm in sight.

Perhaps you need a list of everything I would touch. The soft lips. A little bitty hand. That tiny ribcage. Those thick thighs. With my beard, ofc. Your forehead with mine?

Oh. Ohh. Oh no. This is not fair. This is an attack. How did he just break me like this? Your face is flushed and you are crying outright now. You have to stop this right now.

Stop.stop please. Diego no

Diego yessss

You can't take anymore. This isn't funny. You can't even form words. When autocorrect suggests the picture of a pineapple you stab it and then hit send in rapid succession.

Pinnaea🍍🍍

………………………...

Your phone emits one aborted ring then it cuts off.

Can I call? Please

You're trying to figure out a way to calm yourself, to stifle the heaving gasps and whiny sobs. You're nodding. Not useful, idiot, you scold yourself.

No video. Just talk. Please Princess

You can't say no to that when he is trying so hard.

Ok yeah

You barely see the message load on the screen when the ringing starts up again. Smacking the green button entirely too hard, you hold your breath to stop the pitiful sounds.

"Princess?" His voice is cautious, tone soft.

"I'm h-here." Is all you can manage. Any more and you'll burst into sobs again.

"Are you in bed?" Keeping it short and precise. Yes or no answers. Nothing too demanding.

"Yeah. S-s-sitting." He is being so sweet. How is someone like Diego so sweet to you. Something rustles in the background.

"What was it? A specific word? Or just too much?" His voice is hushed, like he might be in a small room…

"Are… are you in a c-c-closet?" Is he really…? You hold your breath.

"Si. Your closet is too small. I was going to send you a picture." He answers.

You absolutely cannot deal with this man.

"Baby, I--" Your stupid soprano voice gives away how emotional you really are. He was going to send you a picture of a closet big enough for you to hide. Probably a panoramic shot so you could fully visualize it. Your chest compresses and you gasp.

"Princess? Talk. Make a noise. Something!" He sounds panicked. You suddenly remember he can't read your face this way. He can't see your pleased smile.

"That's. That's just. Diego, I love you so much." Its out before you can stop it. Even though you know he can't see it, you still hide your face.

"Love." He breathes softly into the phone. "Tell Diego what you need, my good little girl." His voice is quiet, controlled. He is letting you lead him where you want him. Everywhere. Forever.

You feel safe enough to actually confess, "I just have a, a really hard time believing… all of. That." You wave your hand in the air vaguely. "Not that you're lying!" You rush to clarify. "Just that anyone could actually like, well seems to, at least, everything…?"

"Did that make any sense?" You chew your lip anxiously.

His soft chuckle makes your stomach flip. "Well, it was technically English." Your snort sends him into quiet giggles.

"I like hearing you laugh." You whisper. He goes silent. You tense up.

"Perfect little princess. No one has ever told me that before. Most people are frightened of my laugh." He seems a little bewildered by his own words. Like he didn't mean for that to come out but now he definitely wants to hear the reaction.

You cover your smile, then pick up the phone so you can lie down. "Apparently I'm not most people." You feel around blindly until you locate TMP (Tiny Murder Panther) and tuck the stuffed animal under your chin for cuddles. "I like your voice, too. Like when you talk to me. Sometimes its just the words. Or rather my ingesting of them of that trips me up." Your quiet sniffle is hidden in silky black fur.

"The words are the problem? Do I need a, a…. The book with words that all mean the same thing." He bites out.

Sometimes you forget that English is his second language. Then things like this happen. And its fucking adorable.

"Thesaurus. Synonyms, baby." Your smile is audible.

"I know!" He huffs in mock indignation.

"I know you know. That's cute, though."

"So are your little 'aqui's and 'si's and 'ahora's."

"Fine! Gawd!"

You both dissolve into laughter. It fades into easy silence while you rub your cheek over faux fur.

He sighs gently into the phone. "Was it the forehead touching?" His voice trembles a bit, like he is unsure that he should have asked. As though afraid. A little overwhelmed, just like you.

"Um. Yes. Actually. That was. Yeah, that did it." You blink back tears. "We have a thing. We're a 'we'."

"That is what you want, yes?" Diego sounds cautious. As if he might accidentally utter an irreversible spell or something. Then, a quiet whisper, "It's what I want."

You suck in a deep breath and decide to just force it out. Just take what you desire. Jump already.

"I want you. I don't think a typical, um, relationship would work. But, people can define themselves. Relationships should operate the same way."

That… that actually sounded decisive and authoritative. Wow. You're really that bitch tonight, huh? You are very pleased with yourself. You can hear something sliding against the phone but can't identify the sound.

"There she is." The wide smile in his voice stabs directly into your heart. It was his beard rubbing the phone when he smiled. You laugh with his approval, pleasure burning through your veins.

"Maybe I can write some stuff down. For discussion purposes. Maybe you can write some stuff down for me. Reading it makes it seem more real to me."

"If that is your royal decree, Princess." He shuffles around, you can hear clothing rustling.

"Do you really like finding my orphan socks?" Your voice is sly, like a kid springing a trap question. He likes that smirky tone and you know it.

"They are cute. Just like the tiny feet. You are so very little, Princess." Oh, but he knows exactly how to flip the trap back onto you. The sound of muffled tapping comes through the line. "Tiny feet. Added to the list." His voice echoes the smallest bit, he must have you on speaker so he can access the note app. "Next item: fat ass."

You explode into guffaws. "Damnit Diego!" Your wheezing almost drowns out his husky laughter.

"Wait! I almost forgot! Fan-tasss-tic. Rrrrack." He sounds out the words as he types them. You lose vocal control again, giggling like a child. Logically you know these juvenile jokes shouldn't be this amusing, but clearly you both have the same maturity level.

"Baby, you are my favorite pervert." Your declaration is met with haughtiness.

"I had better be your only pervert, Princess." The possessive tone straightens your spine with shock. "You are mine!" He growls fiercely.

Everything is quiet for a very long minute. You seem to have consumed every butterfly, hot sauce, and poprocks-and-cola mixture on the planet when you weren't paying attention.

You think about all the gifts. Designer purses, specially tailored clothing, the six pairs of redbottoms you now own, how the last ring he gave you still twinkles up at you from your right hand (he took great pleasure in ensuring it fit your middle finger so you can still be pretty while you flip him off).

You remember all the places he has taken you. The Michelin starred restaurants, that hole-in-the-wall Mexican place where they know him by first name is your favorite, the stupid stores he wanders through with you, the cheesy tourist traps where he always gets you a hideously clichéd souvenir.

Your memory flashes through a slide show of his laughter. Gleeful giggles at your horrified reaction to the neon orange lipstick he presented in Sephora. His wheezing delight when you gagged on the seaweed appetizer he shoveled into your mouth before you could object. The gentle, knowing chuckle when you pulled TMP out of your bag to take a nap two weekends ago.

You realize he is entirely correct.

"Yes I am, Diego." Is your quiet confirmation.

"Bicki. I." He seems startled. You stay silent and let him gather his thoughts. The swallow is audible before he continues hesitantly, "I will see you this weekend, mi amor?"

All the ways this man says 'I love you' are so many more than just the actual words. Your pleased smile stretches your cheeks so far it hurts.

"Yes please!" Your shameless request ends in a yawn. "Sorry."

"You need to sleep for work, Princess. I have one last meeting here then I will be there tomorrow."

You wish he was here now but keep that to yourself.

"OK, let me know when you're here."

I am so not wearing panties under that new maxidress for the flight up and demanding that he pick me up personally. Yes. A perfect plan. You amuse even yourself with your scheming.

"Be careful tonight, Diego. I want you to come home to me." The thought of anything happening to him crushes your throat.

"I, I want that, too. Love you." All comes tumbling out of him in a rushed confession of quiet hopefulness. It makes you so happy that tears well up again. Fucking stop this, woman.

"Love you. Bye, baby." You whisper warmly, hoping he can feel even an ounce of how deliriously happy he makes you.

"Goodnight, Princess." The reply is sighed, full of self-conscious relief and pleasure. His rough voice is so calm and soothing that you nod off before the line disconnects, face tucked into his miniature proxy.

…………………………...

Incoming text

Friday 12:09am

From: Murder Panther

🥰💋💟💯🔜

#damnit diego #murder panther #24 fucking 7 hours in this house #the feeeeeels #zash writes #i hurt myself with this one guys #safewords aren't just for physical stuff

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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years

Text

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago?

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler.

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss.

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary.

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs.

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

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toozmanykids · 4 years

Text

Tonight on Tooz Radio...

PSA Today: A Discussion About Safe Things One Can Have Near Or Around Vaginas

[Sorry. Can't do 'Read-after cuts' on Tumblr phone app.]

Tooz: I am so thrilled that you both could join us tonight. You two were absolutely correct, @devikafernando and @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy . Our last broadcast should have definitely had warnings and a PSA about vaginal health as the conclusion. You've made me so happy with your comments. I am so excited to do this special broadcast. I feel giddy. And we have a special guest tonight!!!

Devika: ##static##

Tooz: Maybeeee, Devika. Maybeeee. You'll have to wait and see-heeee.

Bun Bun: ##static##

Tooz: Unfortunately I was not able to reach Mr. Stan. I do not have the same rapport with him as I do with our special tonight. He actually requested to participate with us tonight.

Bun Bun: ##static##

Tooz: Everyone here at the station agrees that we are overdue for a good hard hitting information based episode to really bring to light so many of the risks to vaginal health in today's modern world.

Tooz: I did have an idea though, that it may be easier or more productive to suggest alternatives that ARE safe to have near and around vaginas rather than listing things that aren't.

[Control Room lights start blinking.]

Tooz: Oh, I just saw the count down start. Are you two ready? We go live in....3....2...1....

Tooz: Hello everyone. Thank you for tuning in with us at Tooz Radio. I am Tooz and I will be your host as we look at our previous broadcast that explored some very decadent ideas for anyone who has a bit of a sweet tooth. Specifically we shared a glorious recipe for Sea Salt Chocolate Chip Cookies, and if you haven't tried making them at home yet then you and your loved ones are missing out!

Tooz: We have two guests from last week on the line with us. Let me introduce @devikafernando and @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy . They each made very very good points last week suggesting that we should have posted warnings and medical PSA advisories about the dangers of taking fully submerged naked baths in tubs full of liquid chocolate.

Tooz: As pointed out, such an adventure does carry with it a risk of yeast infection.

Tooz: @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy very concisely stated "PSA. DONT. PUT. SUGAR. IN. OR NEAR. OR. AROUND. YOUR. VAGINA."

Tooz: Bun Bun..... May I call you Bun Bun?

Bun Bun: ##static##

Tooz: Wonderful! I want to thank you so much Bun Bun for bringing that point up last week, because you are so right. Plus our station does not discuss vaginal health enough at all. I think everyone here can agree on that. Am I right? ..... Oh my! Looks as though our switchboard is lighting up like wildfire here. Oh, how wonderful!

Tooz: Unfortunately we will not be taking any calls tonight though, and I'm also going to let our two star listeners from last week off the line as well. Thank you Devika and Bun Bun for being with us tonight. I'm going to let you both listen in comfort without having to worry about missing any cues.

Tooz: Folks, we have a very special guest with us for our important broadcast about vaginal health. We plan to discuss safe items to have in or near or around vaginas.

Tooz: In fact our very own collective muse specifically asked to participate in this particular thought exercise coming up with safe options. I'd like to introduce Tom Hiddleston, everyone! This is so exciting!

Tooz: Thank you so much for joining us, Tom. I know I am very excited to speak with you today, as I'm sure our many listeners are as well.

Tom: Thank you very much for.....##static## ....... forward to..... ##static##.

Tooz: Uh oh. Sounds like we may be having some technical difficulties.

[Insert gif of Tom scratching beard in thought from Early Man interview with Maisie Williams.]

Tom: Well ##static## .... me see, ##static##

Tooz: Hello, Tom? Can you hear me? We can see you, but....

Tom: ##static## There's a world of... ##static##

[Insert gif from RadioTimes of Tom waving his hands as he talks]

Tooz: I'm sorry Tom. I missed that. We seem to be having difficulties with your microphone. Tom? Tom? Can you hear me?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Tom? Tom? You're cutting out . Can you please repeat that last bit?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Right. Ok. You said, 'There's a world of..... '

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: 'There's a world of pictures to take inspiration from.’ Is that what you said? Pictures? Pic-tures? Right. Ok......

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: What was that, Tom?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Ohhhhh, ok. Please forgive me. Yes. I did misunderstand you. Sorry about that. Yes. Right. Ok. So you said, 'There's a world of big shoes.' ..... Sorry, did you say shoes?

Tom: ##static##

[Insert photo of Tom holding up his autographed shoes that went up for auction.]

Tooz: Right. You did say shoes. Ok... Thank you, Tom. Yes, thank you for that. Tom Hiddleston, everyone. And remember that 'There is a world of big shoes.' that are much safer than chocolate to have near or around your vaginas. Thank you very much, Tom, for your time and creative wisdom today..... What?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: YOUR shoes, specifically??? So you're saying YOUR shoes could safely be near or around vaginas. That.... is.... Very good to know..... And actually a good, although off the wall idea, bc I do understand that Tumblr has quite an obsession with your footwear. Is that correct? So there's that. I just didn't realize what direction that shoe fetish actually took. But I see now.

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Boots?

[Insert close up high def photo of Loki's boots.]

Tooz: BIG boots! Yes. Yes those are big boots.

[Insert photoshoot shot of Tom in sunglasses, go-tee, and blue checkered shirt, sitting on the ground wearing his cowboy boots.]

Tooz: As are these. Yes Tom, we do all love your boots. *Clearing throat* I especially appreciate those cowboy boots.

[Insert photoshoot shot of Tom sitting inside small bright red box-like doorway with cowboy boot clad feet bracing himself on the opposite wall.]

Tooz: Yep. That's the pair. Thank you. I must admit, however odd it may sound, he has a point. If I'm going to be cut-throat honest here, I wouldn't mind having your cowboy boots near or around my.....

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: What was that, Tom?

Tom: ##static##

[Insert photo of Tom from the interview with Zachary Levi, lounging in that deep chair with his legs swung up over the side.]

Tooz: Tom...? Tom...?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Tom.... All I can see are your legs swinging over the side of your chair. Now if you are suggesting that the chair is big enough for two, then I'd.....

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: What?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Feet? Swinging your feet.

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Big feet.

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Yes. Yes. *Chuckling. Quite right. It will take very big feet to walk in your boots.... Or shoes. Of course.

Tom: ##static##

[Photoshoot shot of Tom in the air jumping into pool fully clothed in brown suit. Both hands directed gracefully at his barefeet.]

Tooz: You're pointing at your barefeet.... your BARE feet! Yes. Where are your shoes, Tom?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: YOUR FEET!!! OH MY GOD! I get it! I get it! I..... No. Actually, I don't get it. I'm sorry. Although, if the shoe fetish is actually a foot fetish, then I guess.....

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: What was that?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: I'm sorry Tom. I still didn't catch what you were.....

Tom: ##static##

[Insert gif from interview from ABCNews broadcast where Tom is wearing the death cardigan over white tee-shirt and seems unaware that he is pawing at the Inside of his thighs.]

Tooz: Wait... Tom...? Are you suggesting that...... ?

Tom: ##static##

Tooz: Oh.

[Insert interview gif from LADS In Film, where he's looking right into the camera, sitting like my Daddy Dom, looking quite stern and *gulp* scolding.]

Tooz: OH! ....OOOOHHHH!!! ....OH MY GOD!! TOOOMMM!!!!!!

@alexakeyloveloki @redfoxwritesstuff @just-the-hiddles @tinchentitri @hopelessromanticspoonie @pedeka @yespolkadotkitty @myoxisbroken @cursedcursingviking @archy3001 @caffiend-queen @nildespirandum @bellesque @reine-sigyn @missinstantgratification @enchantedbyhiddles @ladyoftheteaandblood @imanuglywombat @vodka-and-some-sass @villainousshakespeare @kalimav6 @devilish--doll @emeraldrosequartz @latent-thoughts @winterisakiller @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @theluckykittencalvin @bambamwolf87 @boredbrooder @maniploki @fadingcoast

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starlightinhumanform · 4 years

Text

Seeing in Technicolor

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ship: Analoceit

Summary: Logan and Virgil are used to having the living room to themselves by the ending of movie marathons. This time, however, they’re joined by Deceit who finds himself dragged into their weekly cuddle sessions.

Warnings (in order of strength): One Somewhat Non-Consensual Hug, (please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: Fluff (like seriously tooth-rotting, my pals)

A/N: -In this fic, Virgil dated Deceit while he lived with the dark sides. After joining the light sides, he began dating Logan. -This switches occasionally from being Virgil-centric to being Logan-centric so both of their voices are included. Hope you enjoy! Love you all 🖤✨

Ao3 Fic Masterpost Fic Request Info

As usual, Logan and Virgil found themselves the last ones up. The others had gone out in their usual order: Patton snuggled up against Roman’s legs, Roman finally giving in and staying quiet long enough to drift off, and Remus passed out behind the couch snoring loudly.

Staying up was kind of their thing. The others would fall asleep, giving Logan and Virgil the opportunity to scoot closer and closer until Logan inevitably found Virgil curled up in his lap, their arms and legs comfortably tangled together. (Virgil would always claim that technically Logan was not something that was meant to be sat on and, therefore, it was his way of relaxing).

What was new was Deceit.

He had been the last to join the group in their movie marathons, only joining them for the first time tonight, and he clearly didn’t know where he fit in. When he had first walked into the room, he had frozen, startled by the loud cheers from the others. It took him a few minutes of stuttering around the room before he had finally- and tentatively- sat down between Virgil and Logan on the couch.

Now he sat between them, body still tense like he was ready to run at any moment. He was hunched over his knees and his focus kept flickering away from the movie to glance at Virgil and Logan out of the corner of his eye.

Virgil recognized the similarities immediately- the rhythmic way Deceit tapped his fingertips together, how he kept holding his breath only to let it out in one purposefully quiet exhale, even the way he kept his arms and legs tucked neatly away so they didn’t touch anyone else. Deceit looked like him.

Virgil might embody Thomas’ anxiety, but right now Deceit was doing a better job of playing the role.

It especially reminded Virgil of when he had just started hanging out with the light sides. He had been completely unsure of where he was supposed to go and completely convinced that he didn’t belong there. The problem was obvious: Deceit was scared.

Virgil wished there was something he could do. If only there were some magic words he could say to put Deceit’s worries to rest. To just tell him Hey, you do belong with us and no, we don’t mind you and yes, we’re glad you’re here. He wanted to reach out and take all that tension from Deceit’s body. To let him know that he was safe.

But he couldn’t find the courage to do it, remembering the bitter ways he had reacted to the light sides’ friendliness at first. If any of them had shown him the sympathy or affection he wanted to give Deceit right now, he probably would have bitten their hand off before it could reach him.

Logan had noticed it too. Not that it was something too difficult to see. The discomfort in Deceit’s body language was painfully obvious. If Deceit could’ve compressed the space between his atoms to make himself smaller, he probably would have.

It was distracting, really. The anxiety radiating of Deceit was enough to draw even Logan’s attention away from the screen’s flickering colours and loud noises. Not to mention Deceit’s fidgeting, which had apparently decided to take up permanent residence in Logan’s peripheral vision.

Finally Logan sighed, tired of his attention being spilt and missing the familiar warmth of another side pressed up against him. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Deceit’s unsuspecting body, pulling backwards so Deceit was dragged into the couch cushions with him.

Deceit immediately yelped, waving his arms and trying to squirm out of Logan’s grip. By the time Logan hit the back of the couch, Deceit had stopped struggling, just frozen in Logan’s grasp. Every muscle in his body seemed to clench up once.

Even though Logan’s sudden movement had surprised Virgil, he was more concerned by just how terrified Deceit seemed. He was like a coiled spring, just waiting to be pushed past his breaking point- snap.

“Deceit- are you ok?” Virgil had never seen him look like this before.

Deceit’s wide eyes snapped to reach his, just the gaze of a scared animal. His chest started heaving and Virgil realized Deceit had stopped breathing for a second.

Logan let his arms relax and fall gently against Deceit’s stomach. With one hand he reached up and began combing Deceit’s bangs back from his forehead, “You really should relax.”

“What, what are you doing?” Deceit’s voice escaped him like the cracks and creaks of a haunted house.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Logan scrunched his eyebrows together, “I’m trying to help you relax; this usually works for Virgil.”

Virgil smirked, suddenly realizing that Logan’s abrupt (and somewhat startling) actions were his attempt at making Deceit feeling welcome. Logan had difficulty grasping the volume dial on affection- it was more of a simple on/off switch for him. Apparently Deceit had flipped the switch into On mode, “Hey, Logan, maybe you should let Dee go for now.”

“Oh. Certainly,” Logan couldn’t help but scowl slightly as he unwound he arms and released Deceit. He had been under the impression that physical affection was one on the most popular forms through which care could be displayed.

To both his and Virgil’s surprise, Deceit didn’t move far. He shifted until he was more centered between the two, but remained leaning back. His body was stiff and his eyes snapped from side to side, like he was waiting for one of the others to tell him he was doing something wrong. But he was there. Between them. And at least trying to join. Logan and Virgil blinked at each other across Deceit like Hey, I didn’t see that one coming.

For a second, nobody dared break the spell. Logan and Virgil were afraid that they’d breathe wrong and suddenly Deceit would be gone. Deceit sunk into the couch cushions as if he hoped to simply dissolve away.

The television filled the space between them. Neon mosaics painted across three faces. Flashes of colour reflected in three sets of glassy eyes. The scales on Deceit’s face seemed to drip with light as they reflected whatever movie Roman had chosen hours ago. Deceit’s expression was hard to place as it was painted by the ever-changing lighting. His wide eyes soaked in the saturated flashes from the film- warm brown turning into a kaleidoscope. A tiny pull on one side of his lips that was tugging them upwards. It was nearly impossible to see but it was something Virgil had learned to see in the years before. Hook, line, sinker. Virgil was in it all over again.

Logan was fixated. It was like he had been going to the same museum every single day and suddenly a new exhibit had been added with absolutely no warning and it just so happened to be one of the most beautiful pieces he had ever seen. He couldn’t put his finger on it. Awe? No, that’s too strong. Appreciation? Maybe. Affection was always a part of the equation; Logan had more respect for Deceit than probably any other side. Logan has a fondness for the way he liked to solve problems like a rationally thinking person (which just went to show how low the bar was) but Logan had never considered that the fondness could extend to Deceit himself. But looking down at Deceit- one usually stubborn and strong suddenly turned so small and vulnerable- there was a soft warmth filling up the empty spaces in his chest that was usually only reserved for Virgil. He couldn’t look away.

Finally Deceit’s voice broke the glaze that had settled over both of the others, “It actually wasn’t that bad?”

Virgil gave his head a shake, trying to remember what was going on, “What wasn’t?”

Deceit winced and pressed further into the couch cushions. Any hint of confidence disappeared, “Um, you know, uh-“

“This?” Virgil slid sideways and snaked his arm around Deceit, resting his chin on Deceit’s chest.

Deceit’s breath hitched, body tensing once again before softening into the hold, “Yeah. That.”

Virgil settled down further into the body below him, snuggling his chest flat against Deceit and resting his face against soft material of Deceit’s shirt. He was warm and Virgil liked the way Deceit’s slowly-steadying breath played against the loose strands of his hair.

He could feel Logan’s gaze settle across him and Deceit. A pang of worry hit him, wondering if Logan would be jealous or feel betrayed. Guilt seeped into the edges of his mind, distracting him from the steady, comfortable rhythm of Deceit’s chest rising and falling. Logan had been the one to reach out for Deceit first, but he also knew about Virgil and Deceit’s history.

“Hey!”

Logan’s voice pulled Virgil’s attention from where he had been staring at the meaningless movements on the screen. He was still siting up straight and looked comically insulted, a pout pulling at the ends of his mouth.

A laugh escaped Virgil as he stared up at Logan’s expression, relief washing over when it was obvious Logan wasn’t actually upset. Besides, the grumpy scrunch set of his mouth was nothing if not adorable.

Virgil gave him a lopsided smile from where he was still settled on Deceit, “Well you can join us.”

After a moment’s hesitation Logan leaned against Deceit’s other side. He wrapped one arm around Deceit’s shoulders and let other lie against Virgil’s arm.

All three turned their attention back to the movie, but Logan couldn’t see anything; he was far too concentrated on the thoughts flooding through his mind (systematically, of course).

So this wasn’t the usual arrangement. It was incredibly different, in fact. Deceit’s discomfort had been nearly tangible and it had been ruining Logan’s ability to pay attention to anything else. That’s why he had grabbed him- right? Obviously, he had felt some sort of sympathy for Deceit and held the understandable amount of affection one would for a companion. It hadn’t been anything out of the ordinary.

Now, transfixed by the two men curled next to him, he wasn’t so sure. The movie was still playing and he still wasn’t watching it. Deceit’s anxiety wasn’t distracting him anymore but Logan couldn’t look away.

Virgil held his distinct beauty- eyes sparkling and a smug grin replacing his usual scowl. It took Logan’s breath away every time. Tonight, though, Logan seemed to be having an especially hard time catching his breath.

He was pretty sure it had something to do with the way Deceit’s face had been slowly but surely transforming into a smirk. Maybe it was the way Deceit’s back was pressing into Logan’s chest so he could feel the other side’s heartbeat. Or maybe it was how Deceit placed his hand lightly on Logan’s leg. His hand barely touched his thigh, fingertips merely brushing. Deceit may have relaxed somewhat but he was still so different than what Logan was used to. He was so unsure, so defenseless. He had never looked like this before but, then again, maybe Logan just hadn’t ever looked at him this way before.

Logan stared down at the hand barely resting against his leg. Deceit was still wearing his gloves, having- like Logan- chosen to remain in his usual outfit. The touch was feather-light but it was still there, dragging his attention to focus on that and that alone.

Deceit apparently noticed Logan’s eyes boring into the back of his hand and quickly tried to jerk back, breathing out a yelp of a “sorry-sorry-sorry” as he did.

Logan reacted instinctively, slamming his own palm over Deceit’s hand before it could move too far. He immediately regretted the action. Virgil and Deceit were both blinking at him like a pair of disbelieving owls.

If “wince” was an emotion, Logan was definitely experiencing it. He was acting like a bumbling fool, as if all of Roman’s starstruck foolishness had combined with Virgil’s awkward impulsiveness to create... whatever this was.

Virgil began laughing, a genuine bark that was so loud, Logan began worrying it would wake the others. After a few seconds, Virgil gasped in a breath, “God, you nerds. And I was worried you two wouldn’t get along. I mean, Logan, should I be jealous? You were never this much of a mess for me.”

Logan could feel his brain freeze up at what Virgil was implying- that he felt the same things for Deceit that he did for Virgil. Well, there was some definite logic to it. But Virgil had ripped the bandaid off before Logan even had the chance to accept the fact he had a wound.

“I, well, I- I don’t think,” Logan stuttered out words just so he could give something in the vague shape of a response. But what words to say? To deny it would be pointless but to confirm anything would lead to his figurative ruin.

He was sent reeling once again as Deceit twisted his hand so his palm faced upwards and smoothed the pad of his thumb against the top of Logan’s still clamped-down hand. Logan’s eyes never left that yellow glove as Deceit guided their hands upwards until their clasped hands sat between their two faces. Logan’s gaze flickered from his hand to Deceit’s sparkling eyes.

Deceit kept the eye contact steady- always questioning, but always smiling- as he pulled Logan’s hand forward, finally pressing his lips against the knuckles of Logan’s hand.

Logan sucked in a breath, feeling his heart hammering in his chest. He was being ridiculous and he knew it. He had an upfront approach to love and seemingly Deceit did too. But this was so different than Logan’s method. It was something about the way a thousand unsaid things floated in Deceit’s eyes, the way they searched Logan without ever moving.

A disgruntled sigh came from Virgil, “Excuse me, do you lovebirds need a room?”

Deceit let Logan’s hand fall from his lips, lacing their fingers together. He held Logan’s stare for a second longer as Virgil continued grumbling. Logan knew there was weight in the way Deceit looked at him, but it was in a measurement he could never translate.

Deceit turned away from Logan, dragging both of their attentions to Virgil snuggled into Deceit with a begrudging expression.

“-besides, I was here first. And that can be said for both of you-“

Virgil’s rambling was cut off as Deceit cupped his hand around Virgil’s chin, tilting his head up slightly. He leaned forward and placed his lips squarely over Virgil’s.

Virgil gave in, rolling his eyes and pressing his lips back against Deceit’s. He could feel Deceit smile, lips curling against his mouth. This felt right. He loved being with the light sides now but something had been lacking; finally all of the puzzle pieces clicked into places. The kiss deepened naturally, falling into the rhythm that had been so familiar to them at one point in time.

Virgil reached out, unclasping his hands from around Deceit’s back without breaking away. He stretched his arms until he found Logan. Virgil rested his hand against Logan’s chest, unconsciously lacing his tie through his fingers. He needed the contact; to say Hey I haven’t forgotten about you- I still love you. He needed the confirmation that Logan was still there. This all seemed too perfect. Virgil had always assumed he could only have one or the other- a life with dark sides or a life with the light sides, Logan’s care or Deceit’s affection. Virgil was sure one of them was going dissolve away at any moment.

But Logan’s heart was beating right beneath his palm. He could feel the warmth of his skin through the shirt’s material. And Deceit, he was real too- hand pressed against Virgil’s back and lips pressed even closer. Yeah, this felt right.

Deceit pulled away, eyebrow quirked, “Still needy for attention, I see-“

“Shut up,” Virgil shifted so he could grab Logan’s hand from Deceit’s shoulder and intertwined their finger’s together to lay on the top of the couch cushions. His other hand remained comfortably against Deceit’s chest.

For the first time since Deceit had joined them much earlier that evening, things were still. A calm settled over the room, the gentle breathing of the sleeping sides just barely audible beneath the sound of the movie. Deceit and Virgil turned their attention back to the screen. They were apparently quite comfortable with this new closeness between the three of them.

Logan, on the other hand, found himself wonderfully perplexed. This wasn’t the outcome he had been necessarily looking for and it certainly wasn’t something he could’ve possibly predicted. But Virgil looked more content than Logan had seen him in months. Deceit- god, Deceit- was practically glowing between them. Logan was confused as to how it had taken him to long to notice how beautiful Deceit was.

He didn’t want to break the tranquility but some small, not-so-serious part of Logan was struggling to not clap his hands like a little kid who had just received a surprise. The emotions squirmed through him, making it hard to sit still.

“What are you smiling about?” Virgil was wearing a smug grin like he knew exactly why Logan was smiling.

“Be quiet and watch the movie,” Logan turned away slightly and tried to ignore the two pairs of sparkling eyes that he knew were watching him.

The rest of the movie ended uneventfully. Logan found the animation to be rudimentary, the music shrill, and the plot to have no consistency. But it was enjoyable. He especially appreciated how Virgil’s hand had migrated closer across the couch cushions to play through his hair and the way Deceit had burrowed snugly against his chest.

Finally, the screen faded to black, credits rolling to a close without another movie queued behind it. Tucked against Logan, Deceit seemed to be having a hard time keeping his eyes open. They would fall slowly only to flicker back open a second later.

Logan found himself watching the cycle for a minute before shaking his head and chuckling. He wasn’t even sure whose foolishness he was laughing at- his own strange transfixation or Deceit’s sorry attempt at resisting sleep.

He used his free hand to brush Deceit’s bangs back and smiled when Deceit responded by snuggling his head in closer, “Why don’t you just fall asleep?”

“I wanna stay awake,” Deceit grumbled.

“But there’s no movie left to watch,” Logan tried to assure him.

“Not awake for movie- wanna stay with you guys.”

Virgil grinned at the shocked look on Logan’s face, “Don’t let him get to you- he always gets sappy when he’s tired.”

Deceit raised his head to glare but between his ruffled hair and sleepy eyes it wasn’t that affective, “I’m not tired.”

Virgil rolled his eyes as Deceit stifled a yawn, “Liar.”

“That’s kind of my job.”

If Deceit’s statement of wanting to stay awake with them hadn’t melted Virgil’s heart, the pout Deceit was giving him now would have done the trick.

“Come on, Snake,” Virgil unwound his hand from Logan’s and wrapped his arms around Deceit’s chest, pulling him into his lap. Deceit tilted sideways without resistance and lifted his legs up lie over Logan.

Virgil scooted over into Logan’s waiting arms and sighed happily as the hold tightened around his shoulders. Virgil rubbed his hands idly along Deceit’s shoulders and twisted his neck to rest his chin on Logan’s collarbone.

He was content to stay there- maybe forever- just silently watching the way Logan’s eyes roamed over his face. Virgil couldn’t help but flush happily under the direct attention.

But Deceit was quickly drifting away and Virgil was still convinced that whatever this was could never coexist with reality. Thousands of worries floated through his mind but one question in particular kept rising to the surface-

“Logan, you’re- you’re alright with this, right? You usually don’t jump into things this quickly and we didn’t have a chance to talk about this at all. Well, honestly, I didn’t think any of this would happen so I guess we couldn’t really have talked about but still I want to make sure you’re comfortable with all of this and-“

“Virgil, dear, you’re rambling again,” Logan bent his head down until their foreheads met with a gentle bump, “Besides we don’t even know what ‘this’ is yet. I suggest we gather more observations and then calculate a decision when we are better able to do so.”

Virgil snorted, “You mean we should wait and see where it goes?”

Logan darted forward, pecking Virgil on the lips before straightening up, “Yeah that’s exactly what I mean.”

Virgil felt a warmth seeping through his chest, burning hot. He wasn’t sure if it was result of his own affection or if it was just the warmth that radiated of Logan’s space-heater of a body. Maybe it was both. He wedged himself closer to Logan and smiled at the soft waves of drowsiness that were washing over him. Darkness soon took over his vision and only the sensation of comfort remained.

“So I can stay?”

Logan glanced past Virgil’s unconscious form at Deceit who blinked at him slowly with his reptilian eye. He shifted carefully so his back was flat against Virgil’s. His movements were unhurried and and his eyes remained half-lidded. Those eyes- still so full of questions, looking for answers, looking for safety. If Logan’s heart had the figurative strings that everyone spoke of, Deceit would have been playing them like a harp.

“Yeah. I think we’d both-,” Logan jerked his head gently to the side, indicating Virgil, “like that a lot.”

“Oh,” For a moment Deceit’s face wrinkled in confusion like he was having a hard translating Logan’s words. After a somewhat terrifying moment, his expression relaxed into a smile, “I think I’d like that too.”

Deceit curled up again, a tight little ball pressing into Logan’s lap. At his side, Virgil tucked himself tighter against his chest. Deceit’s breathing evened out, creating a soft counter rhythm to Virgil’s gentle snores. A few feet ahead, the DVD logo was bumping across the screen from side to side, casting a tiny blue spotlight over the room as it moved. Logan felt his eyes glazing over as he watched its hypnotizing movement. He could definitely get used to this.

If you want to join my Sanders Sides fic taglist just send me an ask or reply to this post :p

#analoceit #analoceit fic #analoceit fluff #analoceit fanfiction #analoceit fanfic #virgil x logan x deceit #romantic analoceit #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fluff #sanders sides fic #sympathetic deceit #ts virgil #ts logan #ts deceit #starlight writes

174 notes · View notes

bibibuckleyy · 4 years

Text

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass.

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom

we will collectively end you

“we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die”

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch” and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw.

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

#911 fox #911 on fox #911 season 3 #911 spoliers #madney #maddie buckley #evan buckley #chimney han #athena grant #my thoughts #kat lmaooo

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svtegg · 4 years

Text

sebongies and the taeyeon songs they remind me of:

seungcheol: gravity. gravity is about finding solace, finding something to hold on to even through the hardest of storms. i firmly believe seungcheol has had to learn this the hard way, and because of this gravity reminds me so much of him. ive also personally found such a warm and safe place in the group he has lead and fronted to where they are today. he will never know how much strength i’ve gained from him, how much he has been the gravity pulling me back down to earth in those especially hard times. the song also has this hopeful and nostalgic feel, which i feels fits him. it sounds sort of like an anthem for us hopeless introverted romantics that find solace in the small gestures of affection and love. just saying i would also die for seungkwan to cover this song.

jeonghan: i am all ears. i feel like jeonghan is definitely seventeens anchor. he grounds them and guides them, in a way much different from how seungcheol does. cheol is their leader, their frontman and main man. jeonghan works the sidelines. he knows all the members inside out, easily knows all the little details about the other 12 boys, what their favorite food is or what snacks they like, what their habits are and what gets them the most frustrated. it’s a silent type of support, almost like a parent or an older sibling or relative. that silent looking out for your friends that’s almost not noticed. just like this song he’s a comforting presence in svt that always offers a hand to hold, a ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on anytime of day or night while still keeping everything lighthearted and honest. this song is actually one of my most beloved songs, the lyrics and the melody is just so comforting and i feel so safe when i listen to it and i feel that’s the kind of feeling jeonghan gives off too..

joshua: 11:11. now this song is probably my all time favorite kpop songs. period. the whole vibe of the song just screams joshua to me. the simple guitar instrumental, the plucking line, the soft percussion in the background and the effortless yet beautiful vocals that softly blends in with all the other elements. it’s a simple and beautiful song, the lyrics reflecting sadness for missing and happiness for experiencing the past, which i feel is such a joshua thing to say.. i might be over analyzing him with this though, and to be honest most of the reason why i chose this song for josh is because i want to hear him sing it, it just fits him so perfectly. a slow, simple and soft track with some sweet guitar and bittersweet lyrics sung in a soft and breathy voice. it’s just so him!!

jun: time lapse. time lapse is easily one of my favorite taeyeon songs. it holds this childish and naive undertone with such serious and beautiful lyrics about growing up and realizing life maybe isn’t what you once thought, yet still seeing the beauty in everything you’ve experienced throughout your life, and despite the hardships and the traumas you’re still able to move forward and try again. i feel like it reflects junhuis personality very well. he’s a very reflective, thoughtful, headstrong, stubborn and smart person, yet he manages to keep this amazing and childish happiness and naiveness to him that i hope he never ever looses.

soonyoung: find me. find me is such a strong song, conveying a message of making your own path, flyging as high as your wings will take you and youll find what youre looking for. it’s a little ambitious, very headstrong and fierce. even though soonyoung may not be precieved as the most fierce or ambitious member, i feel like he’s definitely one of the few in seventeen who has the most self discipline, the most ambitious ideas, the most headstrong mindset and definitely a fierce working ethic. he definitely has his insecurities, as we all do, and this song is almost like a self reassuring anthem telling yourself that no matter what you’ll be fine as long as you keep going forward. which i feel very much reflects him and his values as a person.

wonwoo: city love. i feel like wonwoo is 100% a hopeless romantic at heart. at the same time he’s very simplistic and almost brutally realistic, and i feel like i could definitely connect with him on that..despite this i still imagine that he has this very special ability to see beauty in ordinary everyday objects and things. like the reflections of lights in a puddle or the way the morning fog wraps along the tallest skyscrapers. which is exactly what city love is about. the line; “To me, the things that were meaningless before meeting you, Become new every day” gives me major wonu energy.

jihoon: feel so fine. this song i picked out just because of the lyrics. it’s obviously a beautiful song in itself, but i feel the lyrics hit especially as a song that maybe reflects a bit of the inner conflicts jihoon has endured and learned from. it starts out a little helpless, wondering how you got to this place, what happened, why can’t i be the way i wish i was and then later realizing you’re okay, you’re fine and realizing you’re living in the world you once only dreamed of. i feel especially because of how jihoon opened up about how he felt responsible for seventeens success, he felt accountable for whether or not seventeen would be a hit, if they would make it or not. and now he’s produced a three times platinum, critically acclaimed, award winning, bonsang awarded album. look at you now jihoon, look how high you’re flying. (he also mentioned in hit the road that he no longer feels this obligation and i think that is because of the growth he and the rest for the guys have experienced through these 5 years)

minghao: wine. minghao has this quality about him. he just seems like he’s experienced the world before. he’s an old soul, poetic to an extent yet such a realist. and this song is about loving the memories of a painful love and despite the hardships realizing the beauty of heartbreak. it’s poetically and beautifully heartbreaking, which i feel reflects minghao very well. especially the way taeyeon sings ‘my vintage love’ over and over and the entire feeling in the track..it’s just very minghao. idk how to explain it

mingyu: do you love me. this pick has nothing to do with lyrics, which is kinda funny because this is one of the first kind of cliche love songs on the list i think. the biggest reason why i picked this is because i feel like mingyu would actually enjoy listening to this song, i feel like it’s very mingyu-esque. a soft jazzy ballad with sweet lyrics and gorgeous backup vocals. the lyrics of course coincidentally also convey a message of a newly fallen in love person who hopes the other also feels the same way. which is such a puppylove type song, so much to the point that it makes chills run down my back in excitement. just the feeling you get when you’re newly in love i guess....

seokmin: fire. this may get some of the sonecarats out there confused. because fire is such a heartbreakingly sad song. it’s mostly about a love that’s not good for you. a fire eating you up from the inside and leaving nothing but ash. about feeling alone. but i honestly believe seokmin is one of the boys in seventeen with the most worries, the most internal pushes and pulls. i definitely feel like seokmin is a person who feels his emotions very strongly no matter if they’re happy or sad. i also honestly believe he is his own worst critic, and i wish for nothing else than for him to realize the immense talent and charisma he holds, how much of a fire he is on the outside. how much he shines and how far his warmth reaches. he’s such a star.

vernon: curtain call. this is probably one of taeyeons songs i feel is the most neutral in the feeling it gives me. it has a sort of happy yet sad quality that is kinda hard to come across. i feel like this song is mostly about being okay with how things have turned out, to say goodbye with a smile and remember the good times. and then when we meet again we’ll prepare to smile again. it’s a very calm, reflected and reasonable song which i feel is some of the core personality traits vernon possesses. i don’t think he’s neutral in the sense that he doesn’t feel things, he’s just a person who makes every situation the best it can be, which i think is in all honestly a great way to live.

seungkwan: here i am. this song is so incredibly heartbreaking. it explains the difficulty in showing your true self, masking your real feelings with happiness, smiles and laughs. being afraid of being vulnerable, yet knowing your true raw unfiltered self is just as beautiful and strong as the ideal self you show to everyone. i think seungkwan has definitely had some inner conflict with being labeled the funny one, the mood maker and the jokester of the group. there’s no way that’s not been a chip on his shoulder sometimes, and i think he’s definitely fallen more comfortably now as he’s started to grow to be more secure of himself. i hope he knows just how much carats love every side of him, not just the funny mood maker but also the seungkwan that talks about his mom and cries and the seungkwan that explains his feelings and gets angry and frustrated, the insecure and the tired. everything.

chan: i’m ok. this song is about fighting back, not taking any bullshit. giving back exactly what you got. just ignoring all the people wasting your time and following your dreams and believing in yourself to the fullest. i feel especially this line is full of lee chan energy:

“This ambiguous and lukewarm something. I don’t like playing games of push and pull. No thanks baby”..

it’s also a very sexy and powerful song, i feel like despite this technically being a pop ballad, if jihoon just remixed it slightly and chan maybe wrote a little rap verse for one of the verses it could easily have been a chan solo song, with such a strong and stand-alone type message it fits his personality perfectly. i definitely feel like chan is one of the people in the group who has full awareness of his abilities and how far he can push said abilities. he doesn’t bullshit when it really comes down to it.

22 notes · View notes

jjkpls · 5 years

Text

(y)our name 2 - one (m)

> genre : fluff, angst, light smut

> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)

> total words : 6.7k

> warnings/content : friends to lovers, unrequited love, slice of life; a LOT of cursing, oc is... chaotic, thirsty, panicked; Bad Editing Le Retour™

You could not look any less serious. With your badly dried hair, your face glazing from the cream you just applied in a rush and your whole frame, vibrating in childish excitement. “You know what, Guk? We can decide to make it weird or we can decide to be two grownups, responsible and smart and like reliable and- and be like 'Well yeah we had sex, whatever, it’s not gonna change anything!'”

There's a heavy silence blaring in the hallway. You're too ecstatic to let it affect you but still, you wish he'd appear a little less impenetrable. He's not giving you anything to work with. And even though you can't imagine any other alternative than the one you just suggested, he has to confirm he's willing to go along. “Right?” You're defying him with your gaze, hands attached to your waist, head tilted to the side. The smile stretching your lips grow less natural and more rigid. Jungkook simply shrugs, shifting about on his feet.

“I guess you’re right.” He says but he doesn't look like he means it. He looks preoccupied. And a thought, disturbing, invades your mind. Something is burdening him. And from the frown on his adorable face, it's at least mildly serious.

“Are you okay?” You’re pouting as you ask, not meaning to tender him the way you do but you can see his troubled heart all over, in his stance, in his giant eyes. You feel bad for being the idiot concerned about that night when there is something wrong with him. Anything could have happened during those excruciatingly long and testing three weeks. Your merciless dumb ass may have missed a drama in your favourite boy’s life and the fact that you could have actually let it happen breaks your heart. “Is something wrong?”

He gazes at you, wide-eyed. They’re shining with a curious apprehension. It’s as if he wants to say something. The tiny tremble of his lips hints there is something, just right there, at the tip of his tongue. A simple little push would have the words out. “Tell me.”

Instead, he shakes his head, one of his hands rising to mess with the already chaotic pile of dark locks. “S'nothing. I’m good.”

“Jungkook.” He’s already down a few steps, his back turned to you. “You’re not gonna tell me?” There’s a tiny little edge in your voice, as if your heart's been wounded. It brings him to spin around to peek your way. You’re not that stupid. You know three weeks of break in a friendship that has, in almost a decade and a half, never had any before, must impact it somehow. You detest the idea. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know.” He says, softly. He seems all tiny, hunched over as he is, several stairs down.

“Still, you’re not gonna say?” He looks up from his shoes. There's this contemplating pout on his mouth. Again, he looks like he's debating internally.

“If- It’s not important. If I need to, I will, ok?” Your heart stings. But you want to trust him.

“You promise?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, biting a smile back. “I don’t need to, you already know.” Grinning you jump on the step next to him, wrapping with great difficulty an arm around his shoulders, you lead him down the stairs.

You're rambling loud in the resonating hallway about how you spent the whole night watching your favourite zombie movies in prevision of the day you're about to spend. He doesn't need to hear you say it all as he already knows. His phone along with him didn't have any sleep last night, as you kept sending him messages of extreme importance regarding all the technics and strategies you were actively learning watching the films and how useful they were all going to be for the zombie apocalypse-themed escape game you had made reservations for.

You are so excited, you can't contain yourself. Finding him back after having missed him so much and for so long, you just can't accept to spend any more time without him. Which is ridiculous. You two would have to get back to your lives and go to work for starters, but not now. Now you've dumped your shift on your kindest colleague at work, quite last minute, so you could have the whole day with Jungkook. Planning on going to that escape game you two had been talking about for months, making a checklist of all the places you could visit afterwards to eat and take pretty pictures if he wanted to, adding a list of the potentially interesting movies now in theater if you still have time left. Yes, you really did miss him. You don't want to say it out loud as it's been said enough the night before, but you hope he knows from how hard you hug his arm against your heart that you're still overwhelmed by the joy brought from him filling the staggering void in your chest again as if he'd never left it.

Your phone lights up on a too-familiar face and a name you feel too uncomfortable to pronounce out loud. It’s Namjoon. Again. You see Jungkook’s eyes catch it before you turn it off, and they divert awkwardly as if terrified to meet your own. Your heart stings again. Like a sharp scorching needle piercing through the thing. You can’t bear the awkwardness. You used to be able to talk about anything. Even some things that require litres of liquid courage and lead to consequences such as burning ears and heavy sweating. But never anything has just been brushed over. The realization that something is installing itself between you hits. A new norm, where some subjects must remain unmentioned. It’s horrifying so quickly you blurt out, “We broke up!” Jungkook looks up from his bubble tea, eyes large like saucers.

“Yeah, I heard so. From Jimin.” He doesn’t ask for more information and it’s upsetting. You want him to know he can ask anything. Anything that is yours, anything that is you is his too.

He should know it all.

“It’s just- he is- he is not an asshole but I don’t know, I guess we didn’t agree on everything. He wanted me to choose between you and him.” Your eyebrows raise, head shaking in remaining disbelief. He had some nerves. You felt bad momentarily because it meant Namjoon believed your relationship to be strong enough to face this kind of ultimatum. But he was so rude about it! So rude and assertive, it didn’t even give you the willing to clarify things up with him, to sort things out, consider a compromise. As if you’d ever sincerely only dare think about giving up Jungkook for anyone or anything else. You would never.

Jungkook smiles around the straw he's gnawing on and you chuckle. You're sharing the same mischievous glance you used to when younger, you would find some shenanigans to ditch a third party you were not inclined to stay with so you two could play and be yourselves exclusively together. Like a secret handshake, you have your secret smile. There you know you'll be fine.

After some time, he feels comfortable enough to bring Namjoon back to the conversation. It's just to apologize again about what happened. He doesn't leave on any more information, any answer to the burning question you've carried with you since the incident but you decide to not push it. It was fucking weird, this whole mess of a situation. So unlike him to hit someone. So unlike you to turn your back on him as if there would ever be a valid reason for you to stop loving him. A piece of the puzzle is missing, however, you trust him with it. Surely, he'll give it to you one day and that's fine.

You're cutting the calm quietness surrounding you with a sudden burst of giggles. He squints at you, eyebrows frowned as if he already knows and it makes you laugh harder.

“Shut up!” He groans while trying to reach for your phone on the table. Your reflexes are cat-like though, and before he knows it, the hilarious video you shot today of him, fighting incredibly poorly a zombie, plays for the two of you to enjoy. He's screaming so loud, cursing a bunch of profanities you've never heard him say, and when his ass hits the ground without the actor touching him you're throwing your head back, crying in hilarity. It's been torturing you for the past two hours. Each time your brain starts to putter, the video comes knocking and you just can't help the bubbling mess to rumble from your chest. You only stop when he starts to threaten you, saying he is going to leave and head home.

You really don't want to go home. Or more like, you don't mind going home but he has to come and stay with you. Why couldn't you have been born as Siamese twins?

Sticking the lollipop out of his mouth, he winces in pure disgust, “That'd be horrible!”

“What? Why? It'd be awesome! We'd be stuck to each other all the time!” Which is an enchanting thought -maybe it needs to be precise. You're sure he thinks the same. The grimace intensifying on his face is just comedy.

“We'd be siblings, by the way. Not best friends. That wouldn't work.”

“Let's hot glue the shit out of our hips so we can test this theory out!”

“What are you even-” You don't interrupt him, he does himself, deeming it's pointless. Halting his steps, sighing deep and loud as he stares down at you like you're crazy. Maybe you've turned a little bit insane. That's what too much Jungkook and sugar do to you: you're sincerely considering the whole hot-glueing thing. “Ok. You're going to bed.” It's a gasp that answers him and like a dad who knows how to handle his misbehaving child, he cuts you off before you even get to say anything.

“___, it’s 3 am. Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“I start at 5 pm!” You pester, hitting the ground with your foot.

“Still. Don’t be ridiculous. You need sleep.” His huge eyes blink slowly, his face contorting weirdly as he contains a yawn. He's the one who needs sleep but-

“But-”

“You really did miss me, huh?”

He's all smug eyebrow-dance and wiggly shoulders so you decide to simply be honest, that'll shut him off. “Of course I did!” He tsks, not having expected this as he stares off the distance, looking anywhere but you. You pout, hitting his ugly sneakers with your own boots. “Why do you keep wearing those things?” The offending bulky things are daring you to criticize them further.

“You don’t know fashion.”

“Oh is that fashion? Ok, I guess I really don’t know then.” When you look up at him, grinning, he has that look on. Head slightly tilted to the side, tight-lipped smile, the one that pinches the skin around his mouth into a tiny dot, eyes looking soft but implacable. It’s the look he has when he’s telling you off and it makes you whine indignantly. “I don’t wanna go home yet.”

“But you will.” He decides, sticking the lollipop back against the inside of his cheek, gaze all ominous before he's throwing you on his shoulders. You'd scream if it were not the middle of the night and you didn't mind having people calling the police on you two for night fuss.

It's not the end anyway. You're dramatic and greedy because it feels natural to be in these circumstances but you know you two will be fine. You should let him go home to sleep without fearing losing him again.

There's no doubt in your mind. Still, instead of your brain to sink in the happiness and let you fall peacefully asleep on your two ears, the uncooperative thing just wouldn't let you rest. Keeping you wide awake and alert, bringing thoughts way too joy-filled to not render you giddy and fidgety.

I guess it wasn’t that terrible. It wasn’t bad at all. You did apprehend it. Not only were you two to start hanging out again after a pause that felt like an eternity, but you had also to do so after spending the night that you did together. It seemed easy enough on his part. Maybe because he seemed already preoccupied with something else. Either way, it went smoothly. Like riding a bike. Something you never just stop knowing how to do. Jungkook and you, it’s natural. It’s pure fated affection, there’s no place for any lagging. This you confirmed today.

As the days pass, the routine reinstalls itself, with morning breakfasts shared, impromptu hellos, and stray kitties pictures sent out throughout the day.

It feels wonderful. You can appreciate what you used to have with a whole new level of intensity. It’s like hovering over the Earth on a candy cloud. You’re not lucky, you’re blessed, gifted. Nothing is that upsetting. Nothing is that tiring. Everything fixes before it even breaks because there’s Jungkook and the happiness he brings everywhere along with him.

You’re not that bad at being cool about the whole one-night thing. Not as good as him but still good enough. You manage to prevent anything potentially compromising to slip, refract any impulsive gesture towards his arms or his chest or his thighs even. You do end up blushing furiously sometimes when an unexpected careless babe falls through his lips, or when he mutters your name quietly to bring your attention to him and the breathless calls from this one night remind themselves to you. And of course, it would be like this. How could it not? How could you just say each other’s name so casually when you heard them being moaned by the other the way you did. That’s what you think. But he doesn’t seem on the same page as you. And that puzzles you. Not greatly, you know him to be more used to unattached sexual affections, but still.

How could he not be affected when you’re pretty sure you screamed his name? That’s the other thing about the fateful night and its consequences, the more time passes the less you remember every detail of it, and you dread it. You wish it would stay intact, untouched in your head, as grandiose as it was when it happened.

It’s worrying. How obsessed you are about the incident. But not for the reasons one could expect.

Your friendship is not at stake per se. Or maybe it is in a way, and that’s why you’re not presenting yourself to him with those thoughts.

It’s not about Jungkook or more so, it’s less about the feelings you adorn for him, and more about his skills. Because he does have skills. You have no idea where they come from. If he’s spent years secretly attending sexology seminars or if he was born an incubus and for some reasons you knew nothing about that, point of the matter is: he blew your mind. He ruined you, opened up a door inside you had no idea was there and it felt so good during and after, that you find yourself feeling miserable at the idea that maybe, you won’t ever fall upon a lover like him.

Namjoon was fine. He didn’t have the best stamina and was a bit too stiff to plant and bloom passion as intense as Jungkook managed to in few minutes but he was ok. Taehyung was fine too. Perhaps tending to be a bit selfish, forgetting to give back if you didn’t remind him but for the most part decent -he did have a huge shrine that wasn’t so handy in practice but still managed to entice you and make you squirm before you realized that, except for pain and discomfort, the hugeness of it didn’t bring much more.

And that’s the thing that annoys you the most: they used to be good. They used to be in your mind more than good enough. You didn’t question the possibility of having more. It was alright. You didn’t come each time. You never came more than once in one encounter. But it was fine for your standards. You didn’t know any better, that there could be more to it. Now Jungkook swirled in, wrecked you, leaving you a satisfyingly empty shell lain in a puddle of your own arousal and that’s the mind-blowing sex you want to have for the rest of your life. The thought that maybe he is one exceptionally proficient guy, member of a very rare and exclusive club of fucking abnormally phenomenal lovers that has the secret access to a secret magic to Orgasms -with a capital O because what you thought to identify as orgasms before definitely are not the same things as what you experienced with your best friend- it’s depressing and horrifying and makes you want to start a fucking riot against the universe and maybe against men for not all being as good. Because they should. Fuck, there would be no more cheating partners, no more lonely solo underdogs, eternal peace in the world if everyone dared be as good of a lover as Jungkook.

Maybe you’re over exaggerating. Maybe. Probably not.

How, how in the hell are you supposed to just brush that memory like a simple anecdote, marking your history like any other tiny souvenir would, like that first time he cried in front of you right after he scratched his hands falling from his skateboard and you had kissed it better, or that time he lied for you so you wouldn’t get your ass beaten by your parents after having skipped two classes to go make out behind the school with Kim Seokjin.

Well, you can’t. It’s impossible. And at first, it’s fine. It just means you spend a little more time in the shower, you're a little slower at work because you have to constantly bring your brain back to the task ahead, you’re overall a little more angsty and every time you meet up with Jungkook, there’s a little apprehension. It’s a little less 'I can’t wait to see that dumbass’ cute face even though he might bully me for not having showered', and a little more 'I’m going to meet with my good old friend who happens to be the man who fucked my brains out that one time, so maybe I should put on that skirt'.

The permanent tension doesn’t last that long. He’s too much like he’s always been. You’re too happy with him like you’ve always been.

Things go along as they should. You repress actively your deviant brain, decide you’re going to get over him because he is not the only man on this fucking Earth and there’s no way, there’s no fucking way -it’d be too unfair- he is the only good man worthy of your time.

Soon you realize that in fact, he is. In a way or another, by some curious black magic or something, he managed to make himself the only man left on this Earth. What a dick, you think. Because now he’s gotten back to his life, his awesome life of an awesome dude, unbothered, untroubled by whatever the fuck happened when you, on the other hand, are all broken.

There's this thing about you. You used to fall a bit in love with every person you’d see when you'd be single. There would be this tall guy with his beanie low on his forehead pushing his fringe in his eyes, reading some manga on the train, and you’d start making up a sweet history for him and you’d wish he’d look up for a second and fall in love with you too. But he’d leave without noticing you and then this young woman would walk in with a dude on her toes. She’d look saddened while the guy would look annoyed and you’d start thinking about where you’d like to take that girl out and what cute pet name she’d like you to give her when you’re not even into girls -allegedly. You’re desperate for love. You’ve always been. Which could be surprising as instead of having a childhood deprived of it as often have the people who grow to be very demanding when it comes to affection, you were spoiled with it. Instead of curing you, the force-feed love rendered you addicted and you've always wanted more. More people to meet and discover and adore. Rarely enough. Except when you’re in a relationship. You’re not simply loyal you’re fully invested. You want to be good, to be the best, bring the most. You know how to direct all your time and attention and aspiration on one person without wanting to look away.

And that’s what you need again. Maybe. Someone to prove you that sex is not it all. You never thought that before stupid Jungkook but now, you're questioning it. He did break you. You think constantly about it, not wondering what compliment that one stranger like to hear, what place that other stranger would love you to make them discover, you're wondering if they could make you feel good. If their bodies would be as hard and hot as Jungkook's. If their sexes could fill you up and stretch you, hard and right the way his did. And fuck Jungkook because not only did he change your way of considering people -which is fucked up, by the way, you feel like a creep every time you catch yourself doing it-, he made them all uninteresting. None, even in fantasy, do it for you. You don’t want them to touch you. You don’t want to touch them. You wonder what’s under their clothes without really wanting to know. That’s not that surprising. You’ve always been a very emotional person and perhaps it’s just not something for you. Perhaps you can’t fuck without affection. But at the same time, it’s what you want, it’s what you need. Just purely wild and relieving sex.

It’s the reason why you end up grabbing your phone, tapping your passcode in a fury because the print sensory thingy won't work and you’re already pissed enough as it is. Wrist hurting, breathing laboured, pussy quivering uselessly around nothing, you quickly get to your chat log with Jungkook. You’re mad. It’s the umpteenth time that you try to get yourself off and end up on the verge of crying from frustration because you can, physically, feel yourself craving for a cock to fill you up -possibly his. It’s the worst feeling. A degree of desperation like you never have felt before. And it is insane because never in a million years could you have imagined that sometimes a woman, and you of all, could have your cunt yearning for something that bad. It’s like it builds and builds, not phenomenal but seemingly good enough, and then it snaps but as you come, you feel the lacking spoiling completely your already low-quality orgasm. One of the worst experience of your life. You’re enraged and delirious from the dissatisfaction and that’s why you end up sending him this message:

you : thinking bout u

Read. Right away. There are the three little dots blinking on the screen, your brain adds a mental drumroll to accompany it. And then they disappear. Five minutes pass, you’re dying, feel like your pussy might catch a cold staying open like that -which is quite dumb and lewd but you’re so upset, you spent so much energy on attempting to get off that you can’t even get yourself to roll over to the side (it’s not even like he’s going to teleport himself there and just slip inside at any instant). The dots don’t come back so you decide to text him again, a bit more apprehensively.

you : do u think about me?

jungkook : are you making a YouTube video?

You’re confused for a while, reading multiple times the text over, simply not getting it until the phone vibrates again in your palm.

jungkook : like a lyric prank

Ah.

you : Ah no. And why would I chose a song from 2009 to do that

jungkook : It’s not 2009 and cause you’re lame like that

This is absolutely not going the way you planned, you think finally closing your legs together. Then you remember that you didn't plan shit.

you : 😐

jungkook : What do you want anyway? Why aren’t you sleeping

jungkook : ?

you : I just told you

jungkook : I don’t know what you mean

Is he messing with you? Or does he sincerely not know? Fuck, you hate texting. You never know what the person on the other line genuinely means. You're not being a coward tonight though, so you send:

you : You said to tell you if I ever think about you

The torturous three musketeers are back, cackling right in your face as you stare, for an eternity, wishing for something, anything, to replace them. It’s outrageously long. It’s like he’s typing his eulogy or something. Until the dots are replaced but by worst than any text, no text at all. They disappear and nothing else comes through. The embarrassment is so overwhelming, your body finds the strength to fully wince, your legs jerking up to your chest and your whole body falling sideways from just the cringe. What a fucking idiot. Your face buried in the pillow, you wail and groan in emotional pain. Then it shakes again, the cellphone, the cursed object you shouldn’t be allowed to own. You grab it with your eyes shut close, terrified at what the screen has to show you. When you gather the courage to look, you frown: it’s a link. A URL you don’t recognize. You tap on it, gnawing nervously on your lip as Safari takes forever to load the page and once it's done, and the title of the page appears, you wish it wouldn’t have loaded at all. Fucking hell. You’re going to die. You’re dying of embarrassment tonight, it’s decided.

'69 Best Masturbation Tips for Female Orgasm'. It’s an article about masturbation. He sent you that. To help probably. Because he doesn’t want to do it himself and doesn't know how to say it. Of fucking course he doesn’t want to and oh-my-fucking-god how could you have been so fucking stupid.

you : Sorry

There are the dots again but you can’t bear to see them again so quickly you type a desperate:

you : I’m really sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. Sorry sorry JK please just forget I said anything sorry good nighttt 😅 😅

It’s the worst moment of your entire life. And this thought, the thought that it’s so terrible, nothing will ever compete for that title, is the sole reason why you decide to not suffocate yourself to death in your pillows. The worst just happened.

You’ll just avoid him. For a few days. If he lets you. He probably will. The poor guy is probably feeling even more awkward than you. You were acting so normal, regular platonic friendliness and suddenly he learns that you’ve been lurking over his ass for all this time. For fuck's sake. You’re the worst. There's a tiny voice in your head that's not a bitch and keeps telling you that a couple of days would suffice and eventually your cheeks’ crimson will reduce and progressively the whole thing will be lost in your memory like those events that sometimes fade so far away, you’re not even sure if they were ever real or simple dreams. Except this one is a fucking nightmare and as you toss and turn around relentlessly for the whole night you’re sure you won’t ever forget it did happen and the shame that you felt.

And you’re wrong about that. Because as you wake up the next morning after having successfully fallen asleep for an hour around 6 am, the memory is blurry. It’s flimsy. The burning devastating emotions are gone like they hardly ever existed and you can sigh in relief as you stretch out of bed, body sore and rusted but mind fresh and enthusiastic. You feel like you’ve just woken up from a power nap -you know the fatigue will strike you half-dead later, around 10 am or 2 pm, you’re not sure yet-, feeling positive and wanting to move the world with how productive you feel like being today.

And then your initial hypothesis is proven right. As you reach for your phone by rote, meaning to check the time and your notifications as you usually do, you fall upon the text Jungkook sent you right after you shut your phone off, the night before.

jungkook : It’s okay

That’s it. Hell befalls once again on your stupid self. It’s like last night, all over again. Your eyes well up, aiming to fill up the tenuous rivers dried up on your cheeks. You fall on your face back in bed, yelling full-on in your mattress. It’s horrible. It’s horrible. It’s horrible.

“Are you okay?!” You hear Eun ask from the other side of the wall. Her voice is all hoarse from sleep and now you feel even worse for having woken her up with your idiocy. Stupid and selfish you are.

“Yes, sorry!” There’s a loud thump as you assume she lets herself fall back to sleep. You’re glad she’s too tired to register the tremble in your voice and the obvious desperation even you could decipher.

'It’s okay' with no emoji, no nothing. The emptiest text you’ve ever received. It’s worse than one of those 'ok' assholes send sometimes as an answer to a long invested text. You know what it means. It means it is not okay. He is too sweet to tell you off the way he should or wants to. He knows you’re not an inconsiderate bitch and that you will read through the pixels with this simple two words that it is not okay, he’s not interested and he feels bad but that’s just how things are.

The alarm of your phone rings loud. You’re reminded of your stupid duty you’re supposed to attend to: your job. You feel like a teenager again. Well, in reality, you never really stopped feeling like one. When something would happen, you expected the whole world to stop for you to deal with it. You were too spoiled as a kid. People would actually stop. You remember walking down the playground, eager to play at something but not knowing what and sauntering about looking out for your different options and all the kids, no matter what they were busy playing at would stop and stare, sharing quick nods of approval before one of them, one for each group, would walk up to you and try to convince you to stay with them. Everybody liked you at the time, everybody always loved you without you completely realizing, only occasionally would you suspect it with a sheepish mischievous smile hidden in the corner of your lips.

And now you’re twenty-three and someone, the person who’s supposedly is always cherishing you, doesn’t want you. Which is fair. Fair enough. You’re friends and it’s weird for him, you get it. But he said that you could call him whenever you thought about him. He said it. And he said something else. You can’t remember properly now but you remember what you thought at the time: that he was suggesting you’d do it again. That happened. Whatever the exact terms were, he did hint at wanting other times to happen. Then again, he did say a lot of things that night. And obviously, those were spurred in the heat of the moment. You guess he’s smooth along with being talented. His words are part of the whole thing and for good reasons, it works like a charm.

But, therefore, of fucking course, you’d take it seriously. Of course, it’d take roots in your weak mind and bloom into invading, overpowering desires.

You’re pissed at him now, you realize as you struggle to apply mascara from how much your hand is shaking. You’re angry because he is the asshole behind all that. Even if he did not do it on purpose, he’s made you like that, fucking obsessing over his fucking dick like it’s the only one left and you’re meant to save humanity from extinction. He didn’t have to be that good to you. And why would he say those stuff if he didn’t mean them? That’s fucking sick. And why does he not want you anyway? He didn’t have a problem with you being best friends the first time. He sure enjoyed it, right?

Right?

Your memory is hazy.

You’re not sure if you just made it all up from the pleasure you were experiencing. He is good. But maybe you suck? Maybe he just went along and concluded with you because he was too sweet to back up and stop in the middle of the course of action but in fact, he didn’t enjoy it. You didn’t do a lot, that much is true. You didn’t feel too bad about it before because you were sure he still had his fair share of pleasure but now that you’re not sure, now that you consider the idea that maybe your brain affected the real turn of events to spare your ego and feed that magical experience you had, you feel like shit. It must be it. With all those girls, beautiful, liberated you’ve seen him with over the years, he must have had expected and wanted more. He didn’t end up that talented with no one to practice with. And there you were, awkward potato who couldn’t keep the lights on -which apparently was such a big deal-, way more inexperienced than you thought yourself to be, giving him the worst sex of his life. Of fucking course, he wouldn’t want to do it again.

It’s decided you’re never meeting him again. It’s not his fault. It’s yours. You suck balls. Or rather you don’t and that’s the issue.

Fuck. This is so embarrassing. It's been a couple of hours since the curse text he's sent, and you don't feel any better. If only you could focus on those dumb coffee orders and forget about your stupid pussy for a second.

It’s a little easier after a few mistaken cups of weird lattes, when your manager, perched like an owl on a bar stool, starts staring at you like she’s about to fly to you and bite your head off.

It gets harder when you finish your shift and your mind is left to think about him again and the atrocious humiliation. You’re cringing the whole ride home. Having to stop yourself from growling out loud in frustration, not wanting to freak people out by making them think you’re rabid or something. And it turns the hardest when you have to walk past his door and ignore it, when it’s right fucking there, to quickly flee in your apartment. You’re sweating and shaking once you’re inside, pressing yourself against the door, praising the barrier protecting your ego from him.

Wow. That’s insane but you don’t want to see him ever again. Or at least not until it quiets down. It’s too much. You know there shouldn’t be a seat for shame in your friendship but you can’t help it. It’s just Jungkook but it’s also the best lover you’ve ever had and, you can't deny it anymore, an extremely attractive man. And you’ve humiliated yourself in front of that man.

It’s the reason behind your avoiding him. You don’t even take the time to think about it and try to rationalize, think about what he might be feeling, think about the implications of your action, about how childish you’re being, you just do it.

At first, it’s a blast. Knowing you would work hard to precisely avoid him makes it more bearable for your existence. You don’t wake up with an awful tummy ache and a migraine just considering having to talk to him and act fine and casual as if you’re not dying inside. You won’t see him so it’s fine. It requires a little effort though. A little checking the area for safety with an unsuspecting Eun. A little hustling as you have to steal all of your colleagues' early shifts so that you don’t have to be home for breakfast and see him land in your living-room to eat with you. A little stealth when you have to come home as you do in the early afternoons and you don’t know for sure if he’s not working from home, eagerly tending the ear to try and catch you coming home. His ear is very sharp and you know when you don’t pay attention and are loud climbing up the stairs, he can hear you from his apartment. He told you before that he recognizes the sound of your stepping, different from Eun’s and that’s how he knows you’re home safe when you get off work at ungodly hours of the night, and knows to send you a sweet encouraging text when he hears you leave ungodly early.

It’s because of those messages that you start feeling too bad to handle. The first time, in a panic, you had answered the text with a raccoon gif. He responded with a sympathetic laughing emoji and you decided you sucked faking casualty and would simply restrain yourself from answering his morning texts. It’s been cleared out already that you should not be allowed to use a fucking cellphone.

He's too powerful though. The kindness of his texts and the guilt you’re facing directly proportionate to it adds to the fact that you miss him. It’s been five days and you miss him immensely. It’s when Eun who asks why the boys haven’t been around in so long that you realize you’re really being a bitch. He deserves better than that. Therefore, laying down on the sofa, legs propped on the armchair, naked feet shaking in anxiety in the air, you pick up your phone because you never learn apparently.

you : you wanna have a ““““spooky””””” movie night? Netflix put up the scream movies + pizzas

It's natural enough. Doesn't mention anything risky and that's perfect.

jungkook : I’m in busan rn

you : What? Why are you in Busan?

you : And since when?

jungkook : Two days. I’m coming home tomorrow night

jungkook : For a seminar

jungkook : And you would know if you were not so busy avoiding me

Well, here goes the not-mentioning-anything.

Another quirk of yours: when your mind is set on something, hardly anything can make your aim waver.

you : *gasp* I don’t appreciate being called out like that

Nicely played.

jungkook : Don’t care

But he's going to be difficult.

you : 😐 😐

jungkook : Are you embarrassed about the other night? That’s fucking dumb

you : You fucking dumb

jungkook : Why are you so embarrassed? I told you it’s fine

you : But it’s not though. I feel terrible still

jungkook : There’s no reason everybody gets horny

you : But I rubbed it in your face when clearly you don’t want it I’m verysorry

jungkook : Stop apologizing

And again, as always, it just goes smoothly. You don't understand this. It used to be so simple being friends with him. But lately, it's like everything is a challenge. You always doubt before being proven that yes, things are like they've always been. You have no reason to doubt your friendship, nor him. The weight lifted off of your chest feels incredible as it leaves, bringing a few relief tears to the corner of your right eye. It's the end of it, at last.

jungkook : who said I don’t want it

a/n : yes, it’s happening, (y)our name is back. Way sooner than expected but it’s kookie’s bday so i felt i had to give him another chance. So, there should be 2 other chapters to follow, all in reader’s pov. I’d really like to know what you guys think. I feel like it’s too messy (it took me a while to write and i’ve been feeling stressed out so i think it transpires too much). in any case, i really hope you enjoyed, i know a lot of you anticipated a sequel so i hope i don’t disappoint. i’ll try to have the second part up next week-end. until then, peace out boys scout!

& a happy birthday to our angel, please bid your well wishes hard enough so they can reach him.

Hugs and kisses and love to you all. 💜

▲ Comment ‘tag’ if you want to be tagged when I post the next part! ▲

#btssmutclub #gukkienet #btswriterscollective #jungkook smut #bts smut #bts angst #jungkook angst #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #my writing

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