#tcomc shitposting

[villefort-shitposting]

Are you onte-cristo or e-cristo

#tcomc #the-count-of-monte-cristo #count-of-monte-cristo #tcomc shitposting #tcomc shit posting #this is a bad joke

[hoangfngocjnhi]

Edmond: I will use my enemies's information against them >:) Edmond 5 mins later: WHAT THE HECK IS THIS??

#the count of monte cristo meme #the count of monte cristo #meme #tcomc #edmond dantes #Villefort #literature meme #shitpost

[winter2468]

Hi my name is Ebony Edmond Giacomo Sinbad Adelmonte Busoni Wilmore Dantes Monte Cristo and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) and eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Lord Ruthven (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Maximilian Morrel but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I escaped from a dungeon nine years ago but my skin is still pale white. I’m also a chemist, and I’m a count living in Paris (I’m forty-two). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black shirt with a white waistcoat and a black suit, a fine gold watch chain and black shoes. I was walking outside my house at Auteuil. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Morcerf, Danglars, and de Villefort stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

#the trouble I went to tracking down all this guy's pseudonyms #also his outfit is literally the one he wears to the signing of Valentine's marriage contract #I put effort into this shitpost #this is not a count of monte cristo quote #the count of monte cristo #edmond dantes #maximilian morrel #fernand mondego #de morcerf #danglars #de villefort #my immortal #tcomc

[aira-l]

Let me say this: Danglars had a great potential as a character. That rat was unscrupulous, sly and SMART, for heaven's sake. And one cannot just say he was a man "of a certain scope for crime and of average intelligence for ordinary life ," and consider it as a good excuse for turning the character into a dumbass when the plot doesn't need him being smart anymore.

#tcomc #the count of monte cristo #shitpost #tcomc shitpost #danglars

[shinesundark]

Edmund Dantes, the original home wrecker.

#the count of monte cristo #tcomc #tcomc memes #tcomc shitpost

[gerarddevillefort]

It's time to give something to tcomc fandom. Something useful... Just joking.

Villefort is an autistic-coded character.

#shitpost #tcomc #the count of monte cristo #count of monte cristo #villefort #gerard de villefort #autistic coded #that's my legacy

[krtrs]

no YOU live in a society, i live in the chateau d'if

#well #in the dungeons of the chateau d'if #edmond dantes #tcomc #the count of monte cristo #alexandre dumas #monte cristo #shitpost

[markofposession-moved]

#the count of monte cristo #tcomc #baron danglars #danglars #bad meme #q #shitpost

[monte-cristo-incorrect-quotes]

So since I’ve officially finished the liveblog, here’s a long (and incomplete) list of things I love about this book:

How sweet Edmond is to his father and how much they love each other

Renée and Gérard’s relationship. I really wish Dumas had developed it more

Gérard and Noirtier’s love/hate relationship + the shenanigans 

The subtle, funny jokes that don’t make you laugh out loud but that make the journey throughout the book even better 

Dumas randomly commenting on various things (Italian food, French society...) 

Dumas getting mistaken over the dates of historical events. Why did nobody correct him??

Dumas’ incredibly realistic dialogues where people literally repeat the same three or four words over and over. I feel like these parts are just unsubtle fuck you’s to his publishers (he was paid by the line and not by the word, unlike his buddy Vicky Hugo)

Dantès totally believable excuses.

Albert adoring his mom

Franz and Countess G. being nerd buddies who talk about ghosts and dead people under moonlight

Franz. Just Franz.

Countess G. genuinely believing that Monte-Cristo is a vampire

Maximilien just spending more time at Valentine's or the Count's than at his own home

The sass. There’s so much sass here. I dig it so much. I love it. Bless

The Beauchamp/Debray/Raoul banter

Franz being the smartest character in the whole freaking book

Louise "oh Eugénie you are adorable" d'Armilly

Eugénie and Louise elopement being useless in the story but Dumas still includes it.

^ just like Vampa's story

Monte-Cristo being such a fucking Drama Queen, man just shoot them in the head and be done with it, for Christ’s sake

How human all the characters are, it’s amazing, they’re all so flawed and yet lovable in their own special ways

Fernand being an actual decent husband and father 

Young!Fernand being like “but I love you and I’ve helped you, why don’t you love me back?” and Mercédès answering “lmao dude I never asked you to love or help me” like YES QUEEN call him out

The not-so-subtle queer undertones. Thank you Dumas

How smitten Albert is for Monte-Cristo. It’s adorable. Please give the poor boy the hug he deserves

The Count being a huge emotional mess

Monte-Cristo’s solution to any problem: hashish and rants

People being really surprised whenever Monte-Cristo gives huge tips

Jacopo

“Busoni”, which in Milanese dialect means “big holes"

The ridiculous names Dumas chose for his Italian characters. Beppo and Peppino are diminutives for the same goddamn name.

Just??? Everything?? How can you not love this book tbh it’s so good and I’m 100% convicted it’s literally Dumas’ best work

#the count of monte-cristo #not an incorrect quote #liveblog #shitpost #tcomc liveblog

[hoangfngocjnhi]

Beauchamp: *literally doing nothing* Albert: You defame my father's honor lets fight to death.

#the count of monte cristo meme #tcomc #the count of monte cristo #meme #shitpost #beauchamp #albert de morcerf #literature meme

[hoangfngocjnhi]

What a genius he is.

#the count of monte cristo meme #the count of monte cristo #meme #tcomc #is this a pigeon meme #shitpost #classic literature #literature meme #villefort

[hoangfngocjnhi]

WHY WHY PEOPLE WHY

#the count of monte cristo meme #the count of monte cristo #meme #shitpost #tcomc #literature meme #cereal meme #Heloise de villefort #Edward de Villefort

[villefort-shitposting]

People are like "Gérard de Villefort is a flawed character" and starting to name his autistic traits

(but okay, most often people just blatantly mischaracterize him but it's still related to being autistic)

#tcomc #the-count-of-monte-cristo #count-of-monte-cristo #tcomc shitposting #tcomc shit posting #Villefort #gerard de villefort #actually autistic

[villefort-shitposting]

I wish I'd get high at least once in my past life. Imagine how easy things would go:

Valentine : father I know you're gonna be mad but I love Max!

Villefort, inhaling Stuff™: okay, good luck with your new husband

Val: father!.. are you sure?

Villefort: yeah

Val: why are your eyes red?

Villefort, exhaling smoke: tears of joy

#tcomc #the-count-of-monte-cristo #count-of-monte-cristo #gerard de villefort #villefort #fictive life #smoking #tw drugs #tcomc shitposting #tcomc shit posting #Valentine de Villefort

[villefort-shitposting]

Here's a take I want to be able to fully explain once I'm recovered: Villefort's actions aren't justifiable in any way, but Villefort is still innocent.

#the-count-of-monte-cristo #tcomc #count-of-monte-cristo #tcomc shitposting #tcomc shit posting #gerard de villefort #Villefort

[villefort-shitposting]

Villefort: pansexuality is a tiger, and tigers always attack from behind...

D'Avrigny: ...

D'Avrigny: your daughter is dead, wtf are you talking about

#tcomc #the-count-of-monte-cristo #count-of-monte-cristo #Villefort #gerard de villefort #D'Avrigny #tcomc shitposting #tcomc shit posting