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#tbf my only experience is just one baby

celaenaeiln · 5 months

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Do you think (I hope this doesn't sound as if I hate the batkids but im just genuinely curious), if the bat kids (Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, etc) came earlier, like Robin Dick and Batman when they have still a rather good(?) relationship and before Dick leaving and before canon time of Bruce meeting Jason) met Bruce, will he take them in and/or adopt them?

Tbf, Dami is biological son so Bruce might take him in either way, but what do you think?

No it doesn't sound like that at all! :)

Honestly I don't think it would've mattered if any of the robins had met Dick and Bruce when they had a good relationship. First of all, Bruce only took in Jason because he missed Dick and wanted a Robin. So if Dick was still with Bruce, Bruce would feel no desire or thought to take in anyone. Furthermore, Jason isn't the first troubled talented kid that Bruce has met over the years. Bruce and Dick have been solving cases and helping such kids for years so Bruce taking in Jason during Dick's absence was more of a "right place at the right time" sort of thing.

For similar reasons, that's also why he wouldn't have taken in Tim. Bruce took in Tim under Alfred and Dick's encouraging and also because Tim made a good point about Batman needing a Robin. B was literally killing himself through self-destructive techniques because Jason died and grief does that to people. He lost a robin. If Dick had been the one that died during his Robin years, then Tim might have ended up Robin but it's debatable because he would've been younger than 13 at the time. But if he waited until he was old enough, then Bruce would've killed himself in grief by then. However since Dick is still alive, healthy, and on great terms, Tim wouldn't have entered the picture. Although, if he worked up the nerve to reach out to Dick sooner, Dick would've had a new baby brother a lot earlier.

Stephanie only became Robin because Bruce was trying to manipulate Tim to come back. He knew that Tim would hate him if he endangered his loved ones so by making Stephanie robin, Tim would have to return because he knows the dangers of being Robin. So no Tim, no Stephanie.

Damian. Damian would become Robin and that's canon! THERE'S ACTUALLY A SAME AGE DICK AND DAMIAN STORY!!!!

In this story, Talia suddenly drops off Damian with Bruce and he finds out that his father has another kid-Dick. It's a heart warming story of them getting to know each other with Raven, Gar, and Maxine.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #1

When the tracker doesn't work he gets really worried so he calls Bruce about it. And Bruce is just like, "Whatever, it'll be fine, Dick. He was raised by assassins, he can take care of himself. I need to go."

But Dick is in full Big Brother Mode. So what does he do? He spies on Damian through CCTV cameras and then gets even more worried that Damian might be kidnapped or involved in something dangerous because oh my god there's random people whose identification don't come up with Damian.

So Dick then rushes out of the manor and goes on a road trip, tracking him down. Damian's friends are surprised and creeped out to see a guy and when Damian looks, he is not happy. Damian does not like Dick. But Dick in any universe will always be a responsible older brother.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #1

At this point Dick is fed up.

Is that what Damian wants? Fine.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #1

So they have a bunch of mini-competitions from archery to hacking to parkour to fighting to etc and Damian's getting more and more frustrated that he keeps tying while Dick is in it for a good time. I think Dick's genuinely happy about this because he's viewing it as a bonding experience but everything comes to head when Damian reaches his limit

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #2

Things don't get better but the event progresses because Slade's wife Adeline (to whom he's still married to) is working with an evil organisation that collects metas and non-humans is searching for Gar so they need to do something fast. There are also flashbacks from Damian's side of him being jealous that Bruce trusts Dick so much and how perfect he is which don't help. It makes Damian really furious that Dick doesn't even realize how Bruce trusts him and instead acts like he's best friends with Damian which just serves to tick him off more.

Dick and Damian end up working together, find out about Kori, escape Slade, and all's great in the end. They become the brothers they were always meant to be.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #2

And then it becomes the real formation of the teen titans. Dick and Damian - brothers for life.

I wish there was an entire series on this! I want to see the continuation.

Putting aside the logistics of whether they would meet or not, if Dick had met any of the robins at any age, he would've adored the heck out of them. I think they all would've ended up in Damian's position but they would definitely warm up to him by the end because it's impossible not to love Dick, especially if he loves you.

There's also a canon comic moment where Robin! Tim meets Robin! Dick, and they get along far better than Damian and Dick here but still the same emotions run in the scenes.

Robin (1993) Issue #10

While Dick and Tim solve a case, Tim is just amazed by Dick.

Robin (1993) Issue #10

He's a little salty too. "Dick's going to beat me to the punch. I'm older than him. At this point I've got more experience than him. And he's got me playing catch-up. The little gloryhound..."

Robin (1993) Issue #10

"Like I need him to remind me."

Robin (1993) Issue #10

The way Tim and Damian feel the same way - it's two different comics, but they both feel stressed by Dick for the same reasons.

Teen Titans: Robin Issue #2

They feel like the need to live up to Dick but Dick doesn't feel that they have anything to prove because he just genuinely likes them for who they are. This feeling is a source of friction on the Robins' side, but it's also important they have this because you can't really know someone if you don't overcome your differences. The fact that they have to learn about each other brings out both of their greatest strengths.

Like in the Robin comic, Tim suspects something is off and Dick goes along with it. Tim's right and in the end they catch the bad guy and figure out the escape plan.

Robin (1993) Issue #10

To which Dick says, "Oh yeah! I can see how you got your job. Robin."

Robin (1993) Issue #10

Tim's happy face <3333

Overall, I'd say that Bruce wouldn't take any of the Robin in during Dick's younger days. But if he did, Dick and the Robins would become the best of brothers.

Oh but you know what'd be exciting? Dick and Stephanie's same age Robin au! Tim, Damian, and Jason's would all be sort of the same. They would struggle with Dick's standing but love him possessively in the end. But I have no idea how Stephanie and Dick would go. Of course they would love each other but same age brother and sister?! I WANT THAT SO BAD!!! Their dynamic would be crazy!! The amount of grey hairs Bruce would have? The ultimate chaos duo, they'd feed into each others' energies! Gotham would be a goner.

#dick grayson #robin dick grayson #damian wayne #robin damian #jason todd #tim drake #robin tim drake #stephanie brown #robin stephanie brown #bruce wayne #batman #cl anon asks #thanks for the ask!

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catgirlbussy · 8 months

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holy shit i just realised im autistic

i know this seems like a shitpost, and tbf i am laughing at myself pretty hard rn. it's dawning on me at 6 AM after being awake all night, but (if you care, and if you don't feel free to ignore too, have a nice day!) hear me out, cause this genuinely feels meaningful and insightful for me with how my life has gone so far. I spent an hour writing this post in hopes someone might find it helpful too :3c

If you don't wanna read my post pls enjoy this picture of our famous friend autism baby stackin those cans before you go~♪

(source: wikipedia)

like i already /knew/ I was before this moment, but i was thinkin about what i used to do as a kid and wow i am so autistic how the fuck did i not realise sooner. It straight up wasn't until I was already well into my 20's that I started to meet other autistic people online and learned about their experiences and difficulties from talking with them that I realised a lot of things they described matched for me too.

I live in assfuck nowhere so most of my life the only few times that I had met autistic people were like, folks who were nonverbal or whatever, just generally needing direct assistive care, and I never bothered to look things up on my own because I was already inundated with the pressures of growing up, school, mental health, etc. I remember one of the first times I had built up the courage to ask anyone about it, I was in the hospital because of mental health issues. This was in my second year uni, and when one of the doctors assessing me was asking me questions, I said I thought maybe I was autistic. He promptly and with a fair amount of snark told me that if I was autistic I wouldn't have gotten into university.

Thinking back, he was probably just an exhausted, fresh outta school resident with no special interest in psychiatric care (and also just seemed to suck in general), but it was enough that I shelved the idea for another 5 years.

Lo and behold, now I am lying here in bed, just absolutely gobsmacked by the VERY REAL idea that im autistic and like holy shit I feel so vindicated.

I've been on tumblr for just a bit, but I see a lot of folks talking in various neurodivergent circles about their experiences and that's been so wonderful for me. I also have a few good friend groups w/ a lot of neurodivergent folks, and that's been really exciting too.

Like, I'm still processing this cognitively as I'm writing, so please pardon this ill patterned post, but this feels like such a beneficial thing for me. Over time I've adapted a few strategies here and there to help myself accomplish various tasks, but now I feel so empowered to, like... actually figure stuff out.

Even after feeling confident I was autistic, it was this nebulous, floating concept in my head for so long of, "oh yeah im autistic or something idk," that I never really dedicated much effort to finding healthier ways to do things that didn't irk me or whatever. I don't feel like the label /itself/ is what is important to me here, but rather the awareness around why I do so many things in the ways that I do and that it's /okay/ that I do.

I don't want this post to go on too much longer, but I feel it's worth noting that I've fought for years with my family because they didn't understand why I was going about things the way I did. Again, remember, they all grew up in this cloistered hellhole too. But, surprise surprise, the times in my life that I have been doing better than any other are when I felt confident enough to ignore what everyone was trying to get me to go along with and instead just fashioned my own best methods (which also sometimes included informing said overbearing individual(s) to go fuck themselves cause I'm busy doing shit. It's hard for them to argue with me telling them as much when I would be completing X objective well, which is what they wanted in the first place).

I don't want to make this sound like I'm trying to be overconfident, but I mention as much instead as a sign of support for other neurodivergent folks to feel similarly empowered to drum to their own beat. Thinking back, I went from almost failing high school and ultimately retaking a grade to excelling in all my classes. Every single one. I know that's a relative assessment, you got variable difficulty levels, etc., and the grade score isn't important in and of itself, least of all because the school systems here (Canada) are a mess it seems, but just that alone as an idea, within the parameters of a particular system, I went from initial abject failure to thorough and lauded success.

Just think of what so many people could do if they weren't being pigeonholed into formats that absolutely aren't working for them.

I already have a boatload of (genuinely helpful by way of enabling access to proper education and treatment) diagnoses from my history of working with my (very wonderful and genuinely caring and helpful) psychiatrist that match with what I know about the neurodivergence term umbrella like ADHD, OCD, and bipolar, so it seems |autism| will feel quite at home in the group ^w^. I'll ask her about it at my next appointment to see if an official diagnosis has any value versus me just continuing to figure things out on my own.

Either way, I am thrilled right now thinking about the next time I get to shout

"FUCK YOU IM DOING AUTISTIC SHIT"

while an electric guitar squeals and lightning strikes all around me and I make cool stuff happen :3c.

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rebo-chan · 3 months

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Continuing the lambo and tsuna discussion:

Oh yeah tsuna absolutely would be a hypocrite and it would be so intersting to see them having a serious fight over it.

Especially bc, tsuna ALREADY as a 13/14 year old doesnt wanna be involved in fights and the like, he just wants to be a fucking teen please leave me alone, but when he's older hes probably even MORE terrified of what they've been through as kids. As a teen when he saw 15 yo lambo he was like "oh yeah he can handle this... Maybe... Probably... Perhaps???"

But the older you get the more you realise what a fucking dystopian nightmare it is to believe fucking teenagers could be in a war, no matter how powerful they end up being or how successful! Most of the shounen protags are AT LEAST in Highschool, Tsuna is a FIRST YEAR IN MIDDLESCHOOL, BABY GOT BARELY OUT OF HIS TWEENS

So while yeah its hypocritical tsuna also has the experience and hindsight now to realize NAH UH NO NO NO NOT HAPPENING NOPE THAT IS A FETUS

Not that Lambo would ever accept that bc yeah its his big brother and (idk how common this is i am an only child and never had friends with siblings) its (maybe) common for kids to look up to their older siblings in a way especially when they are far older and tsuna has done some really amazing stuff. He just doesnt get the whole "too young" for the fight thing, especially bc his background is already mafia related and the Bovino let this 5 YEAR OLD run around with GRANADES AND ROCKET LAUNCHERS.

Child safety? Dont know her - Old Bovino motto

No but srsly i just think tsuna is the very first person that actually brings up this concept in lambos life. Even Nana never sees whats going on around her as any kind of dangerous, even kids his age are nonchalant about it, fucking yamamoto may see a kid in him but he rolls with almost anything, gokudera just shows him disdain which is not exactly concern (in the beginning)

So its JUST Tsuna that looks at this five year old and says "Absolutely fucking not"

I mean technically also Haru but i dont think he registers that bc she just generally coddles the babies.

So Tsuna, his big brother, the one he looks up to the most, does not acknowledge him as a fighter. And while lambo doesnt see Tsuna as his boss, I do think when he grows older it WILL become more and more of an issue between both of them.

I know i basically just rephrased and repeated a lot of what you said in your post but also I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS

OMG NO DONT EVEN WORRY I AM MORE THAN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT LAMBO AND TSUNA <3 <3 <3

A real fight about this topic between Lambo and Tsuna would actually be so interesting though, you're so right. In this case, Tsuna cannot be reasoned with. As you mentioned, the older he gets the more he will look at being 15 years old as being a FETUS. His stress already just skyrockets whenever Lambo is ANYWHERE near the battlefield, he becomes absolutely belligerent (Shimon arc, future, and letting himself get disqualified in Varia) Tsuna is definitely the one most protective of Lambo, though Gokudera is a good second place even Gokudera doesn't realize that is a child though tbf in a world where the strongest are infants I do not blame Gokudera for not blinking an eye.

Child safety, don't know her ksJNGKJNSGE NO FR THOUGH. TSUNA IS THE ONLY ONE LIKE "please for gods sake stay at home my god please please" Its even funnier when you consider the only reason he trusts TYL I-Pin to protect anyone is bc she becomes 1 year older than him through the bazooka. SKJNG this is why TYL Lambo is also called Adult Lambo in his head. But yes, this idea would ABSOLUTELY disintegrate the moment my boy tsuna leaves his teen ages. I think the idea that this will be an area of tension for Lambo and Tsuna is so cool, because oh my god!! Lambo wants to be there. Despite his age, he is rightfully Vongola's Guardian of Lightning and he wants to hurry up and catch up!! Especially when you take into account of what I said about 20yl, like that's a Lambo that loses everyone!!!! Imagine the absolute stress on Lambo's brain when these thoughts flourish in his mind, and then he's got his big brother who would see him in a training room and go "WHAT ARE U DOING HERE. GET OUT?????? DO NOT TOUCH THE POINTY SPEAR THAT IS CHROMES" It's such absolute tasty content and I am more than happy to oblige with the Tsuna/Lambo thoughts. They're so important to me <3

#khr #sawada tsunayoshi #Lambo #Lambo Bovino #thank you for the ask!!

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warmpilsner · 4 months

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i dont feel Great about sadposting on tumblr particularly when im not really on here much for much else but i dunno man theres that growing up a sad lonely teen on the internet itch that only angsting away on social media can fill. so im giving myself one (1) post because i feel that the state of my me is just plummeting so hard its a little scary. im safe and all im good at keeping myself safe but otherwise ive just fallen back to a point of anxiety agitation dread constant urgency constant restless energy intrusive thoughts to hell and back deeply deeply fragile which is not good at all when i work as a THERAPIST!!!! if i didnt have this holiday coming up i would really be having to consider taking extended sick leave bc i am finding it so hard rn to do therapy im getting triggered by stuff my clients bring to sessions, like not in session in session im totally fine but then later that night or whatever im finding myself experiencing things i havent experienced for years and im like huh wheres that coming from before remembering a client was speaking about it earlier. they warn you about this in therapy school but until now ive been solid enough to cope, like its obviously difficult working w people who experience [fill in the blank of whatever self destructive behaviour thought pattern whatever which i have in some cases very tenuously recovered from] but until now i have been able to stay grounded enough to empathise, draw from my own experiences to do so, but ultimately leave that in the therapy room when i go home. but now im like ouuufhhhhhh oughhhhh and i just feel so awful all the time like my resting heart rate has gone crazy which tbf might be the new adhd meds but man theres just so much shit going on. every time i get a text from literally anyone i want toccry because i feel like they are upset with me or going to ask something from me that i cannot give right now and actually it feels that responding to messages is something i cannot give right now but also im so desperate for connection because i feel so deathly so i am frantically spamming the discord with annoying shit like Hi!!!! Hi!!!!Hi!!!!! everything is so intense and urgent and shaky i feel explosive and out of control i need to MOVE HOUSES i need christmas break i need to lay down and for all of my friends to lay on top of me like a weighted blanket of friendship . we did that on my bday last year like 6 friends i think maybe ill ask for that again on my bday this year it was very calming. breathe breathe breathe baby youre brave you're strong you're doing it youre a bomb ass therapist and your colleagues are gonna love you for bringing them lebkuchen

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b00tyliciousbabe · 1 year

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guys who could bully, my tight, little, wet ass pussy pt. 1

Welcome to my new hit series, “guys who should clap tf out of my fat ass cheeks.” DISCLAIMER: do not judge me, i fantasise a lot but (unfortunately) irl I ain’t done anything (yet 🤭) Basically, I’m going to be writing how I wanna be dominated by the variety of men I find attractive. Obviously, this is smut, minimal to no evidence of fluff.

Okay so best believe when I went onto Pinterest and saw these four men adorn my fyp, I subconsciously started twerking. Those tattoos just turn me on differently, it’s part of my type. I just love how it decorated and accentuates their muscles. They look so hot and sexy but, I know my sexual experiences with them would differ. So that’s what oversharing is for. Sit back and relax while I assume their fave ways to plough me and wreck my hole with their poles.

The guy furthest to the left:

I feel like I would feel safest in his arms. His fave position is prone bone and I would want to be smothered by him. He gives me cultural vibes, like he’s from an exotic country, and I could just picture him muttering sweet nothings in his mother tongue into my ear as he stretches me out. Definitely on the larger side, quite thick and uncut, with a brown/maroonish tip. The man has a pretty face as well so to keep the intimacy, I would want him to fuck me in missionary, I feel like this is where he’d start to stroke really quickly, revelling in the faces and moans I make. I would always smile at him and when he’s easing it into me, we would both watch his dick go in and out 😩 I want him…

The guy middle left:

He’s literally the only one I might not let hit it. Reminds me a lil bit too much of MGK and not in the good way. I’d probably only use him as a breathing dildo, in cowgirl. Love the blonde hair though. He definitely has a spit kink. loves to spit in my mouth. And I would enjoy that hehehe. I feel like he would jack hammer me the best. He wouldn’t have the biggest dick but I know it’d be skinny and veiny af. He gives me really aggressive vibes. Like “fuck Yh baby, choke on that fucking cock” as he face fucks me, pulling my hair and using my mouth as a fleshlight. His tattoos are definitely the nicest imo. I would swallow, always no matter who, but I feel like he would wanna humiliate me and give me a facial. He’d take a picture and put it on his story or smth, to make everyone know that I’m his. I would let him manhandle me tbf but he also looks like an edl member so 👀 either way I would match his aggression, he reminds me of Harri Oakland and so the twunkish but muscly build makes me think of how he would pound me. I would definitely prefer him most in missionary, I think his mushroom tip could really hit my prostate best.

The guy middle right:

Realistically, he’s the one I’d end up with. I mean I’m a pretty bitch but the others (far left and far right) are literal Greek gods. Idk why but I feel like he’d be really girthy. Like to the point at which I feel like I’m being split in half. I feel like he’d love making me his cum bunny as well, busting a nut inside me and not pulling out until I’ve absorbed all of his seed. I don’t see him being aggressive but quite rough, his pounds would create earthquakes on my butt globes for sure

The guy furthest to the right:

I am definitely most attracted to this man. Like he’s everything. I would want to do missionary with him, because he has such a cute smile, that I know his lips would form everytime I breathlessly moan his name. I’d have my hands on his jaw as he grips my waist spreading my legs into the splits. “Fuck baby, that pussy tho,” he chuckled feeling how tight I get at his arousal. I know he could choke me so well, those hands would grip my neck in ways that would make me want to submit to him and his cock sm.

If it was a threesome, I would prefer for the far right and far left guys to use me as a cumdump.

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multiversal-pudding · 1 year

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HEY WANT MY CURRENT HCS-UNTIL-PROVEN-WRONG/ “THEORY” IN THE SENSE OF “Source: It would be dope?”/ MESSY MAD RAMBLINGS RELATED TO MURDER DRONES?

TOO BAD YOU’RE GETTING IT ANYWAYS

(Btw this is like. Mostly based on other people’s theories and stuff- also this is going to be basically the opposite of something polished and readable? Think of this less as “prediction looking to be accurate or logical” more “these thoughts have been rattling around in my head and I want to unleash them”)

I Feel like given Liam’s previous stuff like Internecion cube, there’s a damn good chance Absolute Solver is basically an Eldritch entity, be it some kind of super-ai that spiralled past any of the designers wildest intentions to the point of basically becoming a god, or possibly the other way around with JcJenson maybe having done a “humans gonna human” in deciding to mess with the forces Beyond Human Understanding, then try to sell it/utilize it in making stuff to sell (IE using some kind of “entity of growth” to make a repair program that. Seemed like a good idea at the time). Either way, As someone who likes that freaky kinda cosmic horror bodyhorror entity stuff, I’m down for it-

Honestly, I think I kinda like the idea of Absolute Solver not being spread from the Disassembly Drones, but rather the other way around, with them having it loaded but mostly disabled outside of regenerative capabilities specifically to protect them from the Worker Drones from using it (directly) on them (granted as V learned rather painfully, this does not exclude them from throwing various pointy objects at you, it just keeps them from pulling that *snaps your head backwards and crushes you into blood* thing Doll pulled)??

Somehow, with its dialogue implying it knows something bigger about Uzi’s Mom/the world as a whole with its “cute little puppets” comments, J’s specific wording of telling N “the worker drones are corrupted” (which. Granted could’ve also been talking about them being deemed “Rogue AI”, but still-), the strange organic elements and extreme power associated with it? (Which. If the DDs are built with containing a neutralized version version of it in mind. Is this connected to the fact they have literal human organs stuffed inside them??)- this doesn’t feel like a tool. This feels like some underlying element at play, and probably one of the main suspects explained so far that could either be A) something that’s strong enough to make Copper 9’s core collapse, B) could be something that would want and have the power to collapse the core of a planet, and/or C) could be a reason why something/someone may have considered it worth wiping out humanity just to try to kill it

As for where it came from in the first place/how it spread- again, maybe the humans dug too deep, accidentally released something but only realized it was a problem later or. Hell, maybe part of it was that the WDs did some digging/experimenting of their own on top of it- we know that two of the main AS-related characters other than the DDs, Doll and Uzi, both have a running theme of nametags/ associated numbers with their mothers, plus the fact that robot babies exist as is in the first place is confirmation they have been trying new things on themselves already

If WD experimentation with AS started before the Murder Drones Arrived/the possibility of it was present- Given the extreme power of AS we’ve seen, it could be possible that the drones starting to unlock this power could be a reason other than paranoia that JcJenson considered it worth the time to exterminate them (though. TBF I I think they might just be callous jerks anyways, semi-reasonable underlying logic or not-)

If experimentation with AS started/continued after the Disassembly Drones arrived- Judging from the fact that Khan already had a closet labelled “Nori’s Kooky Insane Stuff”, iiits possible Uzi might take after her mother in terms of “maniacal engineer”-ness… who’s to say Nori didn’t decide to pull some Sci-fi bullshit of her own of a more “human experimentation” direction? Like. Hell, Uzi made a huge frickin’ gun as her “maniacal engineering” moment- If the parents help construct the baby, technically Nori also built a gun-

Sidenote- like. It might just be a “make the MC more visible” thing, but- as someone else already pointed out, it would be interesting if it turned out the reason why Uzi was short and didn’t have a hard hat was related to her not being a normal Worker Drone/in some way built to have some kind of adjustment made with this element present in mind, something the AS may or may not already know while Uzi doesn’t (there would be a lot of horror to be found in that idea… and also maybe a little dark-humor? In a “ARE YOU KIDDING?! THAT’S WHY I’M SO SHORT??!” Way?)

So- maybe the experiment was what introduced it into Doll and Uzi/their mothers? That is, if it isn’t already present on some level in all the drones as is and the experimentation only brought the existing potential to the surface- imagine finding out everyone was born pre-infected with some crazy eldritch horror woven into their brains, and that what at first appeared to some spreading parasite was simply some people being able to tap into what’s already present in everyone one way or the other…

CONCLUSION?!

…I’m running out of red string and pushpins :|

(but I do have some potential AU fodder maybe should Episode 4 come out and completely change everything maybe?)

TL;DR: talk to me about Murderdrones I am sooooo normal I promise :) <- Lying

#Murder Drones… ramblings?#Murder Drones Ramblings #Murder Drones Spoilers #Cool ideas is Over I am now simply throwing my brain rot at you like wet pasta Ok?#Also The idea of Uzi being in a experiment does raise a question: If Uzi was revealed to be a living weapon would she be excited or upset?

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summerwritesfics · 2 years

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🔥❄️You Know You Could Tear Me Apart, Put Me Back Together And Take My Heart

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 9031 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Vampire AU, Vampire!Kuai Liang, Vampire Hunter!Hanzo Hasashi, Vampire!Bi-Han, Separation anxiety, Implied Codependence, Breaking and entering, Violence, Graphic Description of gore, Blood and injury, Holy water burns vampires, Torture, Past Torture, Flashbacks, Amnesia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Vampire turning, Mentions of blood drinking, Narrow escapes, Biting, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Tending to Injuries, Implied sexual content, Sex offered in exchange for help, Distrust, Manipulation, Implied/Referenced murder, NSFK (Not Safe For Kuai), Poor Kuai has a bad time in this one, Hanzo is trying, Quan Chi is a bastard, Bi-Han is trying. SubScorp Week Day 1: Vampire AU

SubScorp Week 2022 Masterlist

Notes: SUBSCORP WEEK 2022 BABY LETS FUCKIN GO!!!! ^^ But yeah it’s been a long time coming, and I’m excited we’re finally here! I’m starting off the week being really fuckin mean to Kuai Liang, but tbf I am relatively nice to him (at least by my standards) for the rest of the week, so make of that what you will. Title is from “Shivers” by Ed Sheeran.

Kuai walked through the dark empty halls, silent beside his soft footsteps. It had only been a few months since Bi-Han had left for a mission, a mere blip in their timeline, and yet he missed him already. This house was already too large for just the two of them, but for just one? Well it was positively lonely.

Tomas would not be back for another week or so, when Kuai would be due to feed. He had practically begged his friend to stay with him while Bi-Han was away, but Tomas had insisted he couldn’t. Too many responsibilities and too much risk of being asked why he was spending time in a mansion known to be inhabited by vampires. He already had to hide the fact he was willingly letting Kuai drink from him. Kuai understood, even if it meant he was alone for now.

He hoped Bi-Han would return soon. He was often leaving for missions, but these usually didn’t last more than a week. When he’d told Kuai this time it would be several months, Kuai was naturally concerned. This was the longest they’d been away from each other and while Kuai knew his separation anxiety wasn’t normal or healthy, it was hard to not experience it over his only constant companion of over 500 years.

He couldn’t really leave the mansion either, despite Kuai and Bi-Han never posing a threat to anyone, the people of the village still distrusted them simply for being vampires. Bi-Han had made it clear that if Kuai ever left the safety of their home, he would likely be hunted. If it was true or not, Kuai couldn’t say, but it definitely added to his anxiety.

He just wasn’t sure what to do with the time alone. Over the 500 years they’d lived in this home, he’d read through every book in the library multiple times, picked up multiple hobbies, and he was starting to run out of ways to keep himself amused.

Maybe I’ll read again, he thought as he navigated the dark corridors, or maybe I’ll start a new tapestry, I havn’t done one in a while… or maybe-

This thought was cut off by a very loud creak from down the hallway. Odd. The house was old but generally didn’t creak for no reason. He stayed still and listened. There was another sound, and another, and another. It sounded like footsteps.

Someone else was in the house.

Bi-Han?

It was the only explanation. None of the villagers ever approached, let alone tried to get in. Maybe Bi-Han had come home and Kuai had missed him entering. It had happened before. Kuai quickly made his way down the corridor to the room the sounds had come from. It was one of the lounges, strange, as they were probably the last places Bi-Han would enter the home from.

“Hello?” He asked aloud as he walked into the room. He was surprised to find it was empty. But I swore I heard someone. He walked further inside, and asked “Bi-Han?” There was no reply. He turned his head, wondering if the lack of vision in his right eye meant someone was hiding out of his line of sight. “This isn’t funny.”

Still, silence was the only thing that answered him. Did I just imagine it? Gods above, maybe his loneliness was getting to him more than he believed. He sighed, turning back to leave the room.

A man was stood in the doorway.

A man who was definitely not Bi-Han.

He was wearing yellow armour, limbs spread to block Kuai’s exit, a chain with a kunai attached to it in his hands. His long hair was tied back in a bun, and he stared at Kuai impassively, but critically. Like he was waiting for Kuai to react. Kuai took a step backwards, the man did not follow him, just stared. Kuai took a moment to look a little closer, to see if he could find a clue to who this man was and why he was here. There was a little symbol on his uniform, a small scorpion, and Kuai suddenly understood everything.

The Shirai Ryu. A vampire hunter.

He turned on his heel and made a run for the window. If he could open it and climb down, maybe he could escape. Bi-Han told him never to leave the mansion but this was an exception right? He couldn’t stay here with a vampire hunter. Reaching the window, he found that the latch had a padlock on it. What? When did this happen? Did Bi-Han do this?

He heard a whistling coming towards him and he ducked out of the way before he was struck by the kunai. He looked back in time to see the man reeling the kunai back to him. This was his chance to get away. He darted towards the man, shoving him as hard as he could. Sometimes he forgot his own strength as a vampire, as soon as his hands hit the man, he went flying back into the wall of the corridor.

Kuai practically leapt over him, running down the corridor. He just needed to get to one of the doors, then he could get out. He’d make his way to Tomas’ home. He didn’t know where he lived but he’d find it. Tomas would help him, he’d find a way to get to Bi-Han.

It would be fine. It would all be fine.

“Get over here!”

Seconds later, there was the sound of flesh being pierced, a sharp pain in his hip, and then the echo of his screams.

He looked down, the kunai was buried into his hip, blood seeping out around it. He reached a shaking hand down to grab it, only to find the chain attached suddenly wrapped around his entire body. A hard tug and they constricted, tying his arms to his torso. Another hard pull had him falling onto the floor.

He looked down at the chains, pulling against them and hoping his strength could maybe destroy them. As he tried, the chains flashed orange. Enchanted. Of course they would be. It didn’t stop him from trying.

He heard footsteps approach as the continued to struggle. Hands grasped at him and moved him until he was on his knees. His squirming continued, until an arm snaked around his chest, pulling him flush against the intruder. Hot breath his his cheek as the man lent in.

“Calm down,” he softly instructed. “I do not wish to harm you.”

I have a kunai in my hip!

“What do you want?” Kuai chose to question instead, trying to wriggle out of the mans grasp.

“Your brother. Where is he?” The man asked. Kuai could feel himself start to shake, what did a vampire hunter want with his brother? What had his brother done? Kuai could feel his intakes of breath quicken, please don’t take Bi-Han from me, please. A hand was suddenly on his head, stroking his hair. “Shh, I won’t hurt him either. I just need to know where he is.”

“I don’t know,” Kuai admitted quietly, hoping it would make him leave faster. “Please. I really don’t-“

“Ah, you found him,” a third voice cut in, and Kuai’s head snapped to where it had come from. How had two people gotten into his house without him knowing? This second man made the hairs on Kuai’s neck stand. Pale, bald with strange red tattoos, and Kuai had the strange sinking feeling he had seen him before. “Hello there Kuai Liang.”

“How- Do I know you?” Kuai asked. He didn’t remember this man, yet there was a sickening feeling of déjà vu that he just couldn’t escape.

“Interesting,” the man muttered, tilting his head. He didn’t elaborate on what exactly was interesting, he just bent down to grab Kuai’s chin. “My name is Quan Chi, and this is my associate, Hanzo.”

Hanzo was still gently stroking Kuai’s hair as he said, “we’re looking for your brother, if you tell us where he is, we will leave you alone.”

“Why?” Kuai asked, keeping his eyes locked on Quan Chi. I know you, why do I know you?

“That doesn’t matter.” Quan Chi’s fingers dug into Kuai’s chin. “Just tell us where he is.”

“I can’t,” Kuai whispered. While it was true, he genuinely couldn’t tell them where Bi-Han was, he also didn’t want to. Hanzo seemed genuine enough in his desire to not hurt Kuai, despite the weapon still in his hip. Quan Chi on the other hand? When he looked at him, he got a terrible feeling.

Quan Chi sighed dramatically. “Very well, we’ll do this the hard way.”

His hands were down at Kuai’s shirt, plucking at the buttons and undoing them, pulling away the fabric. Kuai jolted back, pushing further against Hanzo. This didn’t deter Quan Chi, who just continued his work.

“What are you doing?” Hanzo asked, tightening his grip on Kuai trying to still him.

“Getting the information we need out of him,” Quan Chi hissed as he finished undoing Kuai’s shirt and revealing his bare torso. “Just focus on keeping him still.”

Quan Chi reached into a pouch on his belt, feeling around. He pulled out a glass bottle of what looked like water. Quan Chi held it up for Kuai to see. There was a small cross on the bottle, and Kuai immediately understood what it was.

Holy water.

No, no, no. Kuai began to struggle again, as Quan Chi took the top off the bottle. Hanzo shifted his arms to hold Kuai more effectively. He pulled Kuai back, so his head was on Hanzo’s shoulder. Kuai wanted to hide his face in Hanzo’s neck but also didn’t want to let his eyes off Quan Chi.

Quan Chi broke out into a grin, holding the bottle over Kuai’s chest and slowly tipping it. He was drawing it out, delighting in Kuai’s fear. When he finally tilted the bottle enough for water to come out, he held it so only a single drop came out. It splashed down against Kuai’s skin and the pain hit straight away. It felt like his skin was burning, being melted away like acid as the single droplet rolled down his chest. He cried out in pain. He hadn’t been in pain like this since…

Since…

Since when?

“Where is Bi-Han?” Quan Chi asked causally, but Kuai was too confused and in pain to answer. Quan Chi snarled in frustration splashing more of the water on Kuai’s chest and causing him to scream more. “Where is he?”

“I-I don’t-“ Kuai was cut off by another splash of water, more of that unbearable burn that had him bucking in Hanzo’s arms and screeching uncontrollably. “Please!”

“Shut up brat.” Quan Chi held a hand over Kuai’s mouth as he poured more holy water onto him. Why was that familiar? Had someone said that to him before?

“Shut up brat, it’ll be over soon, just take it.”

He remembered… something. As Quan Chi continued to demand an answer, throwing more water onto Kuai’s chest when all he got in return was screaming, Kuai’s mind began to drift. It was like those few words were a key, unlocking a door to a memory.

A long lost memory, kept somewhere in the dark recesses of his mind.

----------------------------------------------------

Kuai Liang had no idea where he was or what was going on. All he knew was he was tied down to a rough solid surface, someone was touching him, and it felt like fire was being forced into his veins.

He was screaming, throat raw, so he must have been screaming for some time although he couldn’t remember doing so. He kept his eyes closed, too scared to open them and see what was being done to him. There was a pulse inside him, a new wave of pain hitting him again and again. Rough uncaring hands grabbing parts of him and forcing more and more of that burning into him. He was naked, he could feel that now, as a hand pressed against his chest, and repeated the action again. He was in agony.

“Stop!” That was Bi-Han’s voice, somehow louder than Kuai’s screaming. If his brother was here, why wasn’t he stopping this? “Stop this now!”

He could hear struggling, like someone was holding Bi-Han back. At least that explained why this wasn’t being stopped. Hands pressing into Kuai’s sides, and he wasn’t sure how much more could be forced inside him. He felt full, like if he took any more he’d burst at the seams.

“What’s wrong Bi-Han?” A second voice asked, and Kuai could tell from how close it sounded that it was the same man touching him. “I thought you wanted to be with him again?”

“Not like this!” Kuai could hear his brother sobbing between his breaths. Bi-Han never cried, whatever was happening to him must have been bad to reduce his brother to tears. “Please, don’t do this to him!”

The man tutted, hand pressing down on Kuai’s stomach. Nausea overwhelmed Kuai, gagging on nothing.

“You wanted him back, I am delivering on my promise to you.” Everything hurt, the hand continued to push down on Kuai’s stomach. He wanted to be sick but given he kept dry heaving there was clearly nothing to dispel. “It’s not my fault you didn’t clarify or inquire how I was going to do it.”

The hand moved from his torso, and pushed down on his forehead. If he’d thought he’d been in pain before, it was nothing compared to the feeling of burning in his brain, setting off almost every nerve in his body in the process. His scream was louder than ever, so much so he could barely hear Bi-Han’s protests anymore. A hand clamped over his mouth, muffling his screams dramatically.

“Shut up brat, it’ll be over soon, just take it,” the voice hissed at him as Kuai tried to quieten down. He sobbed into the hand as the voice spoke in a faux caring tone, “there you go, that’s a good boy.”

Kuai felt like he was going to pass out, the pain shooting from his brain and down his spine. He was shaking and crying. The hand pushing on his mouth felt like it would suffocate him. Bi-Han was still screaming, Kuai wasn’t anymore far too close to unconsciousness to be able to.

Suddenly, the hands retracted, and didn’t return to him. The pain slowly dissipated, turning to a dull ache rather than the searing anguish it was previously. He panted, hiccuping as he tried to calm himself down. He felt a hand caress his cheek, and he realised that even though he’d stopped screaming, Bi-Han hadn’t.

“What have you done?” Bi-Han’s voice echoed, he sounded completely wrecked. “What have you done to him?”

“I saved him.” The hand slapped Kuai’s cheek a few times. He was too dazed and confused to pull away. “I would think you’d be more grateful, Bi-Han. I brought your baby brother back to you!” The hand finally stopped touching him, and Kuai attempted to open his eyes, although closed them just as quick, his eyelids just felt so heavy. “Kuai Liang is alive again. Granted, he’s had some… Changes. But they are a small price to pay for his return, are they not?”

“But he-“ Bi-Han choked slightly. Kuai tried to open his eyes again, his vision was blurred, and the room was spinning. “He’s undead. He’ll… He’ll outlive me now.” The room started to focus, but only a little. Only enough for Kuai to make out a figure standing above him. “Who will look after him when I’m gone?”

“There is a simple solution to that.”

Kuai could just about make out the dark toothy grin on the mans face. He reached down to his belt, pulling out a shiny object from a sheath. Even without full vision, Kuai could tell it was a knife. The man held it out in his hand.

“You know what you have to do, Bi-Han.”

----------------------------------------------------

“I don’t think he knows anything!”

And just like that Kuai was back in the present. Completely limp, and pressing his face, damp from tears, into Hanzo’s neck. He chanced moving his head just enough to look down at his chest, his skin had almost completely been stripped from his chest, leaving red and raw wounds that looked like burns. They would heal, he knew that from experience, but it would take time and no doubt scar.

He knew that from experience? What experience? He couldn’t remember but he knew he’d had one. The scar on his face and loss of sight in his right eye was testament to that. Bi-Han had always been vague, only ever saying Kuai had been accidentally splashed with holy water. The memory he’d just experienced, and the nagging feeling he knew Quan Chi, made him start to wonder if there was something more to it than his brother cared to mention.

“Kuai Liang,” Hanzo softly prompted, and Kuai looked at him with bleary eyes. “Do you know where Bi-Han is?”

“No,” was all Kuai could reply before his head slumped back down against Hanzo. Why was he relying on this man for comfort? He’d just held him down while he was tortured.

“We won’t get anything out of him,” Hanzo directed at Quan Chi. Kuai tried to look where he was, but only moving his head until Quan Chi was in his peripheral vision. He looked extremely pissed off that his torture session had been cut short.

“Very well then,” Quan Chi sneered, his displeasure laced his tone.

His hand jerked suddenly, splashing the last remaining holy water over Kuai’s torso. He screeched as the last parts of his flesh that hadn’t been burnt began to melt away, and the wounds that were already there were further added too. Hanzo held him close to him, leveling Quan Chi with a glare.

“My hand slipped,” Quan Chi explained with a shrug, although both Kuai and Hanzo knew damned well that wasn’t what happened.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Hanzo claimed, once more running his hand through Kuai’s short hair. How was the vampire hunter the one showing him kindness? Hanzo glared up at Quan Chi and finally asking “So, what are we meant to do now?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Quan Chi asked, while examining his nails.

“About Bi-Han?” Hanzo pulled Kuai to him a little tighter. “We’re no closer to finding him, he could be anywhere, and we can’t just sit around here and hope he turns up again.”

“Well, that’s very simple, Hanzo.” Quan Chi turned his back to them and began to walk away. “We make it so he has to come to us.”

“And how exactly do we do that?” Hanzo questioned, eyes glaring holes in Quan Chi’s back.

“Oh, isn’t that obvious.” Quan Chi turned back to them, looking Kuai up and down. “We take something precious to him.”

They didn’t need to ask what the precious thing was.

“You…” Hanzo started, his teeth bared. Kuai swore he felt his grip on him get a little tighter. “You can’t be serious.”

“Of course I am,” Quan Chi said matter of factly. “He is the most important thing in Bi-Han’s life. If we have him hostage, Bi-Han is bound to come to the rescue.” Quan Chi bent over, and in a patronising voice said “isn’t that right, baby brother?”

“No,” Hanzo gruffly replied, shifting both himself and Kuai slightly so he was in front. Kuai didn’t understand why this man was suddenly shielding him, but he was grateful for even the slightest mercy. “He has nothing to do with this and you have hurt him enough.”

“Are you, or are you not, meant to be a vampire hunter?” Quan Chi spat, and Kuai peered over Hanzo’s shoulder. He stood back up straight, arms crossed but hands clenched. “Is it not your job to kill these creatures?”

“I kill those who have become a risk to human life, which he is definitely not.” Hanzo’s arm accidentally made contact with the holy water burns on Kuai’s chest. Kuai yelped, and Hanzo reached back to steady him. “I certainly don’t torture them, which given this interaction is clearly what you want to do to him.”

Why was Hanzo suddenly defending him like this? Maybe he hadn’t realised how badly the holy water would hurt Kuai. He guessed there was some moral difference between hunting and eliminating vampires that had gone rouge, and torturing one that had kept away from humanity.

It was plain to see that Quan Chi did not agree with this assessment, his hands on his hips and looking down at the two of them with distaste.

“Do you really think that thing wouldn’t tear you apart given half the chance?” Quan Chi asked with dismissive wave. “All vampires are a risk to human life.” He broke out into a cruel grin, worse than any he’d given before. Kuai shuddered, he’d seen that grin before. But where? “I would think you would know that better than anyone else, given what vampires did to you family.”

The noise Hanzo made was inhuman, a mix between a gasp and a snarl. “Do not speak of that.”

“Do you really think this creature would have shown them any mercy?” Quan Chi continued, delighted by Hanzo’s reaction. Kuai’s head was spinning. He was trying to pay attention to the argument, but his mind was wandering again. I know him. I know his face. Why? From where? “He is just like the rest of his race, remorseless, a monster.”

“Even if he was, it wouldn’t give you the right to torture him.” Kuai could hear them still going at it, but he was zoning out again. Quan Chi. That smile. There was something he was missing.

“Oh what does it matter?” Quan Chi spat. “He’s just a vampire, he can hardly even be considered sentient.” He took a step forward, but Hanzo was on his feet before he could get too close. “Oh. You can’t actually feel sympathy for that beast can you?”

“Find another way to locate Bi-Han,” Hanzo warned lowly. “Because I am not letting you take him.”

There was an extremely tense silence, before Quan Chi said “I was so sure you would not betray me.”

Kuai blinked, Quan Chi’s voice seemed to echo in his head.

“I need to be sure you won’t betray me, Bi-Han.”

And like that, another memory, buried deep, sprung back to life.

----------------------------------------------------

His head felt dizzy. Like it was too heavy too keep upright. His limps were completely useless, it felt like they’d had the bones removed from them. He could hear people talking, but his hearing was muffled, and he couldn’t make out who they belonged to or what they were saying. Had he been asleep? What was happening?

His eyes were closed, but he tried to figure out his surroundings from what he could feel. He was next to a warm solid mass, head tucked against a scratchy fabric. He could feel movement, a soft rhythm that seemed to go up and down. He could also feel something shift beneath him occasionally, gently bouncing him. Oh. Was he sat on someone’s lap? That would mean the movements were breathing and the leg he was sat on shifting.

But who’s lap was he on?

He felt a wet hand touch his torso, realising he was at least topless, yet that thought was quickly dispelled when the pain hit him. The fingers traced down his side, smearing the liquid down him, and leaving a burning sensation across his skin. He whimpered in pain, squirming as if that could help him get away. Another arm snaked around him, keeping him steady.

“Don’t move,” a voice above him commanded, and Kuai gave up his attempts, just sobbing as those wet fingers dug into his skin. “That’s better, it’s easier when you don’t struggle.”

“Stop!” That was Bi-Han’s voice. The demand caused the drying hand to let go of Kuai. He heard what sounded like water being disturbed like something was being dropped into it, before the newly wet hand was back on him, and the burning started again. As Kuai sobbed, he heard Bi-Han call again, “I’ve done everything you’ve asked! Please just stop.”

“You have, but there is still much for you to prove.” Fingers were drying up again, removed from him, only to be placed back against his skin. Kuai could feel his body quake, managing to get enough strength to reach up a hand to grasp the man’s clothing. “I need to be sure you won’t betray me, Bi-Han.”

“I won’t,” Bi-han claimed, “please, I’ll do anything!”

“Yes, you will,” the voice calmly replied, wet hand stroking down Kuai’s chest and drawing another pained mewl from his lips. “But I need to be sure. Kuai Liang will stay with me until you can prove yourself.” Kuai felt the knee underneath him jostle him, causing him to bounce slightly. “Then you both can go off and happily live the rest of your immortal lives.”

Immortal lives? What did that mean? Kuai didn’t know and didn’t have time to really question it as the hand was dunked back in the liquid and then back on his body. What was this stuff? Acid? Why was it hurting Kuai but not this man? He wasn’t wearing gloves, it definitely felt like skin touching him. He let out another pained moan, causing a chuckle from the man.

“Please, he’s been through enough.” Bi-Han sounded defeated, and Kuai wanted to cry. His brother was headstrong, always fighting to the bitter end. This was not the same man Kuai knew.

“He will have had enough when I say he has.” As if to emphasise the point, the man grabbed Kuai’s hair, yanking on in hard and making him gasp.

Kuai heard Bi-Han’s breathing turn heavy, as he bit out “go to hell!”

Any joy Kuai could feel at hearing Bi-Han’s temper return to him was stolen when his head was painfully pulled all the way back. He heard a growling above him, and warm breath hitting his face.

“Open your eyes.”

Kuai knew the command was aimed at him. He tried to comply, blinking as he tried to adjust to even the dim light of the room. His vision cleared, and he got a good look at the man looming over him.

Quan Chi stared down at him, cruel grin plastered over his face, and a bowl in his hand.

He tipped the bowl, a clear liquid splashing down onto the right side of Kuai’s face. As soon as the fluid hit his face, he knew it was the same one that had been on Quan Chi’s hand. Whatever this liquid was, it felt like it was eating away at his flesh, and that wasn’t even to mention it hitting his eyeball. As he screeched, he tried to jerk away, but Quan Chi’s hand kept him in place. His vision was fading in his right eye, and closing it did nothing to stop the burn. His arms flailed, trying to grab hold of Quan Chi’s hand to make him stop. Even over his own screams he could hear Bi-Han just as loud.

The fluid stopped spilling, but the pain was still there. He sobbed, chancing opening his eyes. He couldn’t see out of his right eye at all, and all he could see in his left was Quan Chi’s face, still with that chilling grin.

“Shh, now,” he spoke softly, his kind tone betrayed by the look of pure evil over his face. “I’m sorry to hurt you like that, I wouldn’t have to if your brother would just behave himself.” Quan Chi carded his hand through Kuai’s hair and he whimpered, wanting nothing more than to get away from this sadistic monster. “There you go, rest, I’m done for now.”

“Please, Quan Chi,” he heard Bi-Han beg once more. “I’m sorry. Please just leave him alone.”

“This is all very simple Bi-Han. Just do exactly what I say, and you will get your brother back in one piece.”

----------------------------------------------------

“So is this how you repay me for all I’ve done for you?”

Kuai blinked, realising he was back in the present. Hanzo was still stood in front of him, stretched out to protect him. He was still in the chains, and while he tried to wriggle out, they caught the mess of raw flesh that was his chest currently.

“You owe me, Hanzo Hasashi,” Quan Chi continued. Kuai couldn’t see him anymore, but his tone told him everything he needed to know. “I saved your life! I am helping you get revenge for what happened to your family! Does that mean nothing to you?”

“None of that matters,” Hanzo growled, slowly reaching behind his back, trying to find the kunai inside Kuai. “Regardless of what you have done for me, I am not helping you with your sadistic game.”

“So be it.”

Quan Chi charged forward, and Hanzo ducked out the way, grabbing Kuai and hauling him out the way as he did. He pulled the kunai out of Kuai and let the chains fall away. Quan Chi lurched in Kuai’s direction, attempting to take ahold of him. Kuai fell backwards, pulling his leg back and kicking out directly at Quan Chi’s face. There was a snap, and Quan Chi was thrown backwards. Kuai scrambled to his feet, helped by Hanzo, as they both watch Quan Chi come back out of the daze Kuai’s attack had sent him into.

Quan Chi reached a hand to his bleeding nose, clearly broken by the force. When he stared down at the blood on his hand, Kuai could see his eyes widen as he bared his teeth. The look he shot Kuai from there was pure venom.

“You’ll pay for that, brat.”

Quan Chi disappeared into a portal, and before Kuai could contemplate what had happened, someone was grabbing him from behind. A hand went to cover his mouth, but as if on auto pilot, Kuai went on the offensive. He bit down on the hand as hard as he could. Quan Chi’s howl was extremely satisfying, but short lived as Hanzo managed to wrestle Kuai from Quan Chi, and as he did he threw a strange metal ball on the floor.

As it hit the wood, it cracked open and plumes of smoke began to seep out. Hanzo took Kuai’s hand, pulling him away down the corridor, as Quan Chi coughed and spluttered, slowly being enveloped by the smoke.

“We need to leave,” Hanzo announced as they ran, “where’s the nearest exit?”

“We can’t leave,” Kuai protested, struggling to keep up with Hanzo’s pace. “Bi-Han told me never to leave.”

“I’m sorry, but as long as Quan Chi is around, you aren’t safe here anymore.” Kuai felt Hanzo squeeze his hand. Logically, he knew Hanzo was right, but that didn’t make the prospect of leaving the only home he knew any less terrifying. “Which exit?”

“Front door will be the easiest,” Kuai said. He’d suggest a window, but given that Bi-Han gone behind his back to put locks on some of them, he couldn’t say which where able to be opened.

Hanzo didn’t say anything else, just continued to guide Kuai to foyer of the mansion. Thankfully, the front doors only had a few latches, which Hanzo was able to open easily. They ran down the pathway, through the gates, and did not stop running until they were out deep into the woods.

They came to a clearing, at which point Hanzo finally released Kuai’s hand. Hanzo’s gaze landed on the burns on Kuai’s chest, and he grimaced. Kuai had to admit, they were bad, and still hurt like hell but he knew they wouldn’t kill him. Besides, he had bigger questions to answer.

“Why did you do that?” Kuai asked, clutching his hands together in front of him. “Help me, I mean.”

“I may be a vampire hunter, but like I said, I do not kill for no reason, and you have given me not reason to do so.” He stepped forward, looking regretful now regarding the injuries Kuai had sustained. “I’m sorry about the holy water, I didn’t know he was going to do that.”

“And the kunai?” Kuai pouted, because that was definitely a deliberate choice.

“You tried to run, I needed to secure you,” Hanzo claimed, looking further down to see the wound in question bleeding profusely. “In retrospect, I regret doing it the way I did.”

Kuai looked away, it sounded like an excuse. But then Hanzo had helped him get out. Gods he was so confused.

“Kuai Liang, I know I haven’t given you much reason to trust me,” Hanzo started, gently placing a hand on Kuai’s cheek. He coaxed Kuai to look at him again. “But I need to find your brother. I believe he has information on the death of my family, and it is my belief that the safest place for you is with him.” Kuai closed his eyes, he really did want to be with Bi-Han. “We need to find him as quickly as possible.”

“It will be day soon,” Kuai pointed out, feeling nervous of how open he was out here. “I can’t travel in the day.”

“I know,” Hanzo said, gently stroking Kuai’s cheek. “I have a friend who lives nearby, we can lay at his until the day has passed.” Hanzo’s eyes twitched. “It will also give me a moment to look at your wounds and care for them, it is the least I can do for my part in you receiving them.”

It could have been a trap, and Kuai wasn’t completely sure if Hanzo had good intent. But when he considered the alternatives, either continuing on alone or going back to the mansion and potentially Quan Chi, he realised he had no choice but to put trust in Hanzo.

“Okay, where is your friends house?”

Hanzo smiled, taking Kuai by the hand again, and leading him through the woods. They didn’t speak, not really, only Hanzo reassuring Kuai that he was okay when he got jumpy. It had been so long since he’d been away from the mansion. The closest to the outside world Kuai got was the gardens. Those were walled in, carefully curated by Bi-Han and himself. The woods by comparison were wild, out of control. Bi-Han had warned him not to explore them, and he was starting to see why. Thick branches of the trees curling like claws making him uneasy.

He didn’t remember much of his life before he was turned, but he did remember something happened to him in the woods.

Something terrible.

He didn’t want to think about that right now, the memories that had already come back to him this night were terrible enough. He really did not need more to confuse him further.

Not to mention, he could see a house in the distance.

It wasn’t run down exactly, but the garden was overgrown. Does someone really live here? It felt almost like just an extension of the woods.

Hanzo knocked on the door, looking over his shoulder nervously as if expecting someone to be following them. His attention was taken back to the door when it opened, revealing a man standing on the other side. His eyes were cloudy, and Kuai recognised the reason from his own eye. The man was blind.

“Kenshi,” Hanzo greeted, and Kenshi’s eyes widened in recognition but his mouth was tight.

“Hanzo, it’s a bit late for a visit isn’t it?” Kenshi replied, and Kuai suddenly understood why he was a bit standoffish. It was late at night, at least for humans.

“I know I’m sorry, it’s a long story,” Hanzo started, pulling on Kuai’s hand to bring him closer. “I need to lay low for a night, I have a vampire with me, and we need shelter before daylight comes.”

“A vampire?” Kenshi sounded surprised, but he still stepped away and let them in. “A curious companion for you to have, Mr. Vampire Hunter.”

“Like I said, long story,” Hanzo muttered as he guided Kuai into the small home. It wasn’t as fancy as his mansion, but he supposed that was to be expected.

Kenshi hummed, shutting the door behind him. “So, does your vampire friend have a name, or is he just the vampire?”

“My name is Song Kuai Liang, Sir.” Kuai bowed politely, but then realised how stupid that was to do. Kenshi smirked and chuckled however.

“Did you just bow?” Kenshi questioned, and Kuai made an embarrassed squeak. “No need to be embarrassed, believe me, you are not the first.” Kenshi held out his hand in the general direction of where Kuai was. Kuai scrambled to greet it. “It’s nice to meet you Kuai Liang, my names Kenshi.” As he was shaking Kuai’s hand, he tilted his head. “You do not happen to be one of the vampires living in that mansion on the hill, would you?”

Kuai hesitated, before replying with “Yes sir, I am.”

“You don’t have to call me Sir,” Kenshi replied, but Kuai noticed him shoot a look towards Hanzo. One that screamed “you have a lot of explaining to do”. Still Kenshi hooked his arm with Kuai’s, using his cane to begin to navigate. “You must be tired though, I think the rest of our introduction can wait until the morn… Well, the evening.”

“Ah, thank you S- Kenshi,” Kuai let Kenshi guide him through the house, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Hanzo was still there.

“I am curious though,” Kenshi began, patting Kuai’s biceps. “You are the one who doesn’t leave home, correct? I’ve met your brother before. Bi-Han?” Wait, he’s met Bi-Han? “Gave me a story that you physically couldn’t leave the mansion.” What? Kuai stared at Kenshi for a few seconds, before looking over to Hanzo, who was looking equally confused about that. “I’m assuming from your shocked silence, that was not true.”

“No,” Kuai said slowly, trying to compute what he’d just been told. “Bi-Han told me not to leave, because the outside world was dangerous for me.”

“I see. And yet here you are?” Kenshi reached a door, opening it up. Peering inside Kuai could see it was a bedroom, curtains drawn and empty. “This is my guest room, so you and Hanzo are free to use it.” Kuai eyed the curtains wondering if they would be enough to shield him from the sunlight. “Do not worry about the curtains. My son has, ah, a sensitivity to light, so he needs the same accommodations as you. This house is safe for you.”

“Thank you Si- Kenshi,” Kuai said catching himself, and finally being let go by Kenshi.

“I hope you sleep well,” Kenshi said with a bow before turning to Hanzo. “We will talk in the morning, old friend.”

“Thank you, Kenshi.” Hanzo patted his friend on the shoulder. They stayed like that for a moment, just sort of looking at each other. It was pretty eerie if Kuai was honest. Like a silent conversation was going on between them.

Before Kuai could ask, it was over, and Kenshi was walking away. Hanzo followed Kuai into the room, closing the door behind him. Kuai wanted to ask what all that was about, but decided maybe for now, it was best to not know.

“First things first,” Hanzo started walking over to the one side of the room, and pulling out a bowl and some medical supplies from a cabinet. His knowledge of the room implied this was not his first visit where he needed medical intervention. “We need to get those burns taken care of.”

Kuai nodded, and made his way to perch on the edge of the bed. Hanzo left for another door, and Kuai heard a tap turn on and water run. Kuai felt his head go dizzy. He tried to take deep breaths. It’s water, just normal water. Not holy water. This water won’t hurt me. Calm down. Calm down.

In the name of the elder gods, calm down!

“Are you okay?” Kuai blinked, he had been so wrapped on his panic he hadn’t even noticed Hanzo come back. He placed the bowl on the bedside cabinet taking a cloth and dipping it in.

“Y-Yes,” Kuai replied, keeping his eyes intently on what Hanzo was doing with the water. “It’s just… that is just water, right?”

Hanzo paused, staring at the bowl. “It’s watered down alcohol, to clean your wounds.” He hadn’t really been around alcohol since his turning so he had no idea how it would effect him. Bi-Han had never explicitly warned him against it so it shouldn’t be dangerous. “It’s not holy water.”

Kuai nodded, and Hanzo took the cloth and went to wipe at the wounds. The concoction stung and Kuai jumped slightly. It didn’t burn like holy water would, but it wasn’t pleasant.

“Sorry I should have warned you it would sting.” Hanzo pressed the cloth onto another part of the wounds and Kuai gritted his teeth. “I just need to clean this before I put bandages on, okay?”

“Okay,” Kuai hissed as the Hanzo continued to wipe. Really this was nothing compared to getting them in the first place. Nothing to when Quan Chi poured holy water directly into his eye. Those memories. There really was more to all this than initially he realised. Maybe talking about them would help take his mind off Hanzo’s cleaning? “I know why you were looking for Bi-Han, but why was Quan Chi so intent on finding him.”

Kuai saw the way Hanzo’s mouth tightened. “You mean, you don’t know Bi-Han does work for him?” Kuai didn’t know that, Bi-Han never told him what he did when he went away on missions. Hanzo got Kuai’s answer without him even voicing it, as he added, “Bi-Han’s gone rouge the last few months, he wanted to get answers as to why. Convinced me to come along so I could get my answers too.”

“Two birds, one stone,” Kuai thought aloud. He gripped the bedsheets under him as Hanzo began to clean out a particularly deep burn. “I… remember him.”

“Remember who?” Hanzo asked absentmindedly, putting most of his concentration into his task.

“Quan Chi.” Kuai was stopped from explaining further with a loud moan. Hanzo took the cloth away, dipping it back in the water. “I don’t have many memories from when I was turned but today, when he was there…” Hanzo still only looked like he was half listening as he began to clean a new area. “I remembered some things. He was there, when I was turned. I think he was the one who did it.” Hanzo stopped in his tracks, head snapping up to gaze at Kuai’s face. “He’s also the person who did this to me.” Kuai pointed at the scar on his face. “I don’t remember much even now, it’s fuzzy, but I swear to the elder gods it was him, he was there!”

Hanzo took a deep breath, trying to return his attention to the cleaning. “How old are you exactly? I mean, how long have you been an vampire?”

“500 years.”

Hanzo’s movements slowed to a crawl as he contemplated what he’d just been told. “That would mean Quan Chi is over 500 years old as well.”

“I know,” Kuai whispered. It didn’t make sense. “Is he definitely human?”

“As far as I know.” Hanzo turned his attention from the burns to the wound that had been created by the Kunai. “He’s not a vampire, I’ve seen him out in sunlight and he can handle holy water without… well… this happening to him.”

“I know it doesn’t seem possible.” Kuai let out a breath when he saw Hanzo put the cloth down for good, thankfully done with this part of tending to his wounds. “And I don’t understand it myself, but… I swear it was him.”

“I believe you,” Hanzo assured, grabbing some padding and bandages. “I don’t have an answer for you, but I swear we will find one, okay?”

We will find one. Kuai smiled at that, although he wasn’t sure why. This man hadn’t exactly made the best first impression. But he’d helped Kuai run, he was here tending to his injuries, and offering to help him make sense of his jumbled memories. Maybe it was like in the books he read, where even the worst introduction could be turned into something beautiful.

Hanzo finished wrapping the bandages around him, and Kuai realised he had nothing to offer for his help. He had nothing of particular interest, and anything of value he had was back in the mansion. He thought back to his books, the romance ones, and tried to remember what the protagonists offered in thanks for their rescuers. There was one thing he could offer, he supposed.

“Thank you, Hanzo,” he started, watching Hanzo put all the medical equipment away. “I have nothing to show you my graditude for helping me.” Hanzo finally looked over, and eyebrow raised like he didn’t know where Kuai was going with this. “However, the books I have read suggest that, my body is an acceptable offering to you.”

Hanzo suddenly choked on the air, coughing loudly and covering his face. Kuai got the feeling that wasn’t a good reaction.

“I- oh- Kuai Liang,” Hanzo spluttered, removing a hand to fan himself. “That… Those books you’ve read, they aren’t exactly a good indication of what is expected of you in this situation.” Hanzo composed himself, before sitting next to Kuai on the bed. “Me accepting that offer would be inappropriate.” Kuai bowed his head. God obviously that was a stupid thing to say. Hanzo placed his hand under Kuai’s chin and tilted his head up. “Please do not take this as a rejection of you. But you are in a vulnerable state, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to you that you would regret.”

“I understand,” Kuai tried to not sound upset, in reality he was actually somewhat relieved. He knew he’d had sex before his turning, but he’d not had it since. The closest he’d come was a kiss from Tomas, which Bi-Han had quickly broken up. Hanzo was right, Kuai wasn’t exactly thinking straight right now, and the likeliness was that if Hanzo had said yes, the little trust he’d begun to build up would have been shattered.

Maybe he shouldn’t feel bad he asked, at least this was another sign Hanzo was trustworthy and had his best interests in mind.

“We will find your brother, but until then, I swear I will do everything in my power to protect you.” Hanzo sounded so sincere, it reminded him of whenever Bi-Han promised the same thing. “And you do not have to offer me anything, this is not about that, okay. This is about doing right by you and your brother.”

“Thank you,” Kuai said with a yawn, suddenly realising how tired he was now. The sun would be rising soon, he needed sleep.

“Come on, let’s sleep,” Hanzo said softly, “I can sleep next to you, if it would make you feel safer?”

“I would like that.”

They didn’t speak as Kuai lay back on the bed, feeling Hanzo settle next to him. Kuai wasn’t sure what came over him, but he flipped onto his side, and threw an arm over Hanzo’s chest. The second he’d done it, he internally panicked, wondering if Hanzo’s rejection of his advances would include this. He didn’t mean anything romantic or sexual by it, he just wanted the comfort an embrace could offer him.

To his surprise, Hanzo flipped over to face him and pulled him close to him. Kuai’s breath hitched, but soon began to calm, lulled into a sense of security by Hanzo’s body heat.

He nuzzled his face into the pillow, closed his eyes, and let sleep claim him.

----------------------------------------------------

Usually, Bi-Han would be glad to be home.

He’d come in, find Kuai Liang, and make sure his little brother hadn’t gotten himself into any danger. Then they’d sit in the study, Bi-Han making notes on his latest mission, while Kuai would be reading probably. They’d be comfortable and happy despite everything that had led them to this point.

The fact the front doors were wide open made it feel like there was a rock in stomach.

“Kuai Liang?” He didn’t waste any time walking in, panic overtaking his mind. Kuai wasn’t supposed to leave, he knew Kuai wouldn’t. At least not willingly. Had someone tricked him? Kidnapped him? Where was he?

He walked into the lounge, hoping maybe Kuai had just had a visit from Tomas and forgotten to close the door. There was someone sat on one of the arm chairs. It definitely was not Kuai Liang though.

“Hello, Bi-Han,” Quan Chi greeted, lounging lazily in the chair. He was his usually calm and calculated self on the outside, but there was a darkness in his eyes that only showed up when someone had pissed him off. His nose looked slightly swollen, and he had a bandage on one of his hands.

“Quan Chi, why are you here?” He asked nervously, taking a few steps forward.

If Quan Chi was here, where was Kuai? He doubted Kuai would have just let Quan Chi in, Kuai was smarter than to let a stranger inside their home. He didn’t have any memories of Quan Chi, Bi-Han had been sure to wipe every last one, ensuring his brother didn’t remember any of the awful things done to him while they were newly turned.

“I lost contact with you for some time, I wished to make sure you still remember our arrangements,” Quan Chi said lowly, voice trying to sound concerned but coming off as threatening instead.

“Someone requested a task of me, I needed time to complete it.” Bi-Han could feel a cold creep up his back. “I was intending to contact you after I came back.”

“Well, good to know,” Quan Chi sneered, somehow leaning even further back in the chair. “But in the future, I would appreciate a warning if your going to wander off for a long time. I gave your poor brother such a fight, it would be a shame if he had to suffer again because you are terrible at communication.”

There was bile in the back of Bi-Han’s throat as he asked “where is he?”

“I do not know, unfortunately,” Quan Chi said in a bored tone, and inspected his nails like he didn’t care. “Hanzo Hasashi has taken him hostage.”

“What?” Bi-Han hated the deviation in his own voice. “Why would… Why would Hasashi take Kuai Liang?”

“For some reason, he seems to have gotten the impression you are the one who killed his family.” No. No, no, no, that wasn’t me! He had seen the massacre, but he had not been the one to issue the blows. “Said that if you took his family from him, he would take yours from you.”

“I didn’t do it,” Bi-Han argued, taking a few steps back as Quan Chi stood up. He felt ire build inside him as he snarled “you let him take Kuai Liang.”

“I most certainly did not,” Quan Chi exclaimed, sounding so insulted it had to be fake. “I was having a civil discussion with your brother, when Hasashi came along. I tried to stop him but he used Shirai Ryu trickery against me.”

Bi-Han shook his head, the room was spinning. God fucking dammit, how had this happened again? Why did he always fail so fucking spectacularly at keeping Kuai safe? He failed when Kuai was murdered in the woods. He failed when Quan Chi brought Kuai back to life. He failed when Kuai was newly turned and tortured by that same sadist until Bi-Han could meet his ridiculous demands. And now he’d failed again.

He should have never taken this job. Fuck Raiden and his stupid fucking mission that took months! If Bi-Han had been here instead of that temple, Kuai would not have been taken.

“Oh, calm down,” Quan Chi snorted, annoyance laced his voice. “We will get Kuai Liang back. Hanzo Hasashi has rather betrayed me in doing this, and I’d quite like to get my hands on him myself.” That disgusting smirk was on Quan Chi’s face again. “You just have to do exactly what I say, like you always do.”

Bi-Han studied him. He didn’t want to work with Quan Chi, not again, and certainly not when Kuai was so heavily involved. What other choice do I have though?

“Yes, of course,” Bi-Han reluctantly agreed, looking away so he didn’t have to see that look Quan Chi always had when he’d gotten his way. “Just… Help me get my brother back, and I’ll do anything you say, I promise.”

“Good boy,” Quan Chi patted Bi-Han on the back in a condescending fashion. “Good to see you’ve learnt since the start of our partnership.”

Partnership. Fuck that.

Still Bi-Han’s eyes couldn’t help but linger on the bandage around Quan Chi’s hand.

“Do I want to know what you did to your hand?” He was expected some bullshit response, but Quan Chi made a wounded noise.

“When Hasashi took your brother, the poor thing got slightly confused,” Quan Chi explained looking at his hand with a pout. “He wasn’t sure who was trying to help him, so he bit me in his panic.” Good boy Kuai Liang. If his brother was here, he’d praise him for taking a bite out of this bastard. “Don’t worry, I know he was just scared. I won’t hold this against him.”

Quan Chi’s tone indicated he absolutely was going to hold this against him.

Still, Bi-Han had no other option at this point, he just had to hope that when they got Kuai back, Quan Chi would go back to their agreement. Bi-Han did shit for him, and Kuai got left alone.

“Where do we start?”

#subscorpweek #mortal kombat #subscorp #kuai liang #sub zero #hanzo hasashi #scorpion #🔥❄️subscorp week 2022

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sadfruittheatre · 1 year

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You might have noticed that my ocs tend to be surrounded by a bunch of other ocs that are in fact not mine! Since they are not mine, I shall only give a brief rundown on who everyone else is.

Recurring Characters:

Maraschi (or Mara for short): A human girl who was utterly smitten with Bragi, believing he was a handsome, brooding love interest like out of one of her YA romance novels. She got a lot more than she bargained for, as he was a jerk in the most unsexy way possible and he was never going to be romantically interested in her. After she finally helped him realize he needed to stop being a jerk though, they became a lot closer, but in more of a sibling sense. The idea of crushing on him now makes her soul crumple.

Flann: A little yellow Majin lady with a permanent :3 face. She helped raise Mara as a sort of older sister figure, and now she’s trying to raise Bragi too. It started off as her trying to get him to straighten up so she could be rewarded with a nice house for saving Universe 5, but she sort of gave up after she realized that she could not completely bribe him with stickers (yet). But once he started getting his shit together, she found herself actually wanting to mom him. Given that he does not have parents, he has no idea how to actually be a son, but he’s having a nice time.

Dulze: A retired martial artist, now schoolteacher. She’s married to Yamcha and has 2 kids. Later, this becomes 3 after literally adopting Cayenne when her dad dies. She also keeps less-literally adopting other lost souls and becoming someone people can come to for advice. (Thanks to this she’s now also Bragi’s cool aunt.) It’s a lot of work and it brings so much chaos into her home, but she’ll do anything for her family.

Letch: Dulze’s oldest (before Cayenne), he’s only about 7, and he’s very sweet. Unfortunately, he’s inherited his dad’s fear of girls. His family doesn’t count though, because moms and sisters are not girls, and you literally cannot convince him otherwise. He’s especially close with Cayenne. That’s her Little Dude right there. With her guidance, he’s going to grow up to be a beautiful himbo someday.

Deeji: Dulze’s youngest. She’s 4 and she is a master of psychological manipulation. Meeting Bragi has given her a lust for power, and while she genuinely likes him and believes his hype (probably even more than he does sometimes), she’s used this as an in to gain favor with other gods, wrapping them around her little finger. Meanwhile, she and Cayenne constantly butt heads, but deep down, when push comes to shove, they really do love each other.

Mille: Cayenne’s girlfriend. She is more or less a Time Patroller, but she’s largely ignored her duties to go hang out with the Ginyu Force, who have adopted her as one of their own. But after meeting Cayenne, she now ignores her duties to hang out on Earth (though she’s still in close contact with her dads). The two spend a lot of time causing chaos and finding out which things are the most hella.

Veroa: A Supreme Kai attendant (and later apprentice) from Universe 9, which is an even bigger dumpster fire than Universe 7. They just want to make their universe a better place, but their Supreme Kai, Roh, won’t listen to their ideas (tho many of them just involve making weird lizards tbf). They want to become better at what they do, so Bragi, with his own training fresh in his mind, becomes their mentor, despite being much younger than them.

Coulie: Aneas’s wife and former demon scientist working under Towa. She turned herself in after Towa seemed to have lost sight of their goals. She was initially a rival to Bragi, but they’ve more or less put all that behind them, as she’s now focused on being a good wife and mother to their baby boy Eugene.

Eugene: A plant Coulie grew as part of a simple science experiment with Aneas to test the effects of talking to plants on their growth. He is literally just a potted plant and is not sentient whatsoever, but Aneas and Coulie talk to and about him like he is, and if you refer to him as “just a plant” they will be very upset.

Mento/Mint: A chaotic, artificially made demon girl created by Fu. A friend to some and a nuisance to others; she ended up sacrificing herself to save everyone, and now she haunts the narrative in various ways that would honestly warrant their own post.

Villains and Antagonists:

Mirin: A low-class demon disguised as a Supreme Kai apprentice in Universe 9. His aim is to slowly murder his way up the godly hierarchy until he can covertly take out the Omni-Kings himself and rule everything. He was more or less doing Among Us before it was even a thing-- Unfortunately, in order to do this, he needs more information about the higher gods. But when he hears that a god from a place as high as Universe 5 is somewhere as shabby as Universe 7, he takes it upon himself to investigate, and see what sort of information he can squeeze out of a very gossipy Bragi. He gets found out though and attempts to go nuclear, but is stopped by Mento in such a way that melts him into goo. We now call him Dear Goo Boy.

Anzu: A food reviewing GodTuber from Universe 2 who’s having a bit of a hard time coping with her universe being erased and brought back during the Tournament of Power. So, she starts thinking about taking matters of life and death into her own hands by killing everyone and everything that has ever been revived. Through Bragi, who pesters her for a collab so he can have more than 6 subscribers on his own channel, she meets Veroa, and upon finding out they’re from U9, the first Universe to be erased during the Tournament of Power, she figures now’s about as good a time as any to start on her plan. Bragi later walks in on Veroa’s dead body, but he’s also killed for being a witness. Upon hearing about this, Aneas takes it upon himself to take Anzu down personally. He nearly dies in the process, but in comes the Time Patrol with senzu beans, who heal him and arrest her. Bragi and Veroa are also revived! Thanks, dragon balls!

Carma and Kone: Mara’s parents. They’re Time Patrollers that are often away on long missions and thus rarely home, but when they are, they are incredibly critical and dismissive of Mara in order to push her to be the best and follow in their footsteps. Bragi, #1 Maraschi Rights Advocate, is having none of this. It reminds him entirely too much of the way he used to treat her when he was a much worse person, and he promised himself he’d never let anyone hurt her like that again, so he’s gonna stand up for her, parents or not. Carma, her mom, hates him for being so disrespectful and encouraging her daughter to be so disobedient. Unfortunately for her, she’s away too often to really be able to do much about it. Also, Bragi can just teleport, so it’s not like she can actively keep Mara away from him. In any case, she wants that twink obliterated.

Kuroza: One of the few remaining members of Zarbon’s race. She’s a spoiled rich girl who wants nothing more than to be seen as the most beautiful and tragic person in the room at all times. Bragi falls for her sob stories and tries to help her find some good in the world, the way Mara helped him. Unfortunately, he learns the hard way that she loves it when people find her pitiful and give her attention, when he makes the incredibly rare move of sharing a rather personal and traumatic story in an attempt to try and relate to her, only for her to get excited and try to help him workshop it to be more beautiful. Needless to say, he doesn’t talk to her anymore. Meanwhile, Tomor has known she was full of shit the entire time, and finds great joy in irritating her and calling her out on her bullshit. Of course, this feeds her victim complex, which of course feeds his desire to poke at said victim complex and they’re stuck in a cycle. They kind of like it though. Uh-oh.

Mara, Flann, Veroa, Anzu, Carma (and Kone) and Kuroza belong to @invizdable

Dulze, Letch, Deeji, Mille Coulie, and Mento/Mint belong to @emizel

I made Mirin (but I’m not too proud of his execution so he’s still mostly dead and not a feature) and Eugene (but Lin and I sort of have shared custody lmao)

#intro #i've only ever drawn anzu that one time lmao #and i've never drawn kone because he barely exists

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tau1tvec · 2 years

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Did you try the birthing mod in the end? If so how was your experience with it?

I did, and my experience could’ve been better…

The mod itself is gr8, and is certainly a lot more realistic than that crane thingy the sims team hasn’t even bother to fix until recently, I also liked that my sim could have someone there to support them through it all, rather than just running around the hospital halls, screaming like the world is ending.

Problem is, and it’s likely bc it was idk, conflicting with something, or the game itself, especially the Get to Work pack which is just broken in general, but going to the hospital has always been a nightmare for me, even without the mod, and it wasn’t any different with it.

Though, tbf, the hospital I was using was unnecessarily gigantic, so it really ate up a lot of the resources I’m sure the mod needed to read the scripts of the mod. My sim’s boyfriend also kept going to the second floor to work out, and one of his work out outfits was clearly waaayyy too high poly, and kept lagging my game when he wore it. Then it took forever to get her fully dilated, although there is an option in the mod to just immediately have the baby, I really avoided it so I could experience the whole of the mod as intended.

In the end, I eventually turned off autonomy completely, and about 2-3 days passed when she, at last, was ready to deliver, and she did, and it was really emotional, until I realized the baby genetics are still bugged, and it didn’t at all share their resemblance.

Luckily I know my way around S4S and was able to mend that, but still, it’s wild how this bug still exists.

Now once again the mod is gr8, but can only improve upon so much when the game itself is so broken. I heard they’re planning a home birth option in the future, which I feel would be a lot better, bc that whole hospital business was excruciating, like I refuse to put myself through that again, lol, no matter how cute it is.

#asks #anon

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nicistrying · 2 years

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An update (will try to keep it brief bc there's quite a lot but I just need to vomit my thoughts out):

So Tuesday (12th July) I drove to the Lake District after work to meet Matthew's family at a beautiful cottage they were staying in for Matt's mam's 60th. Wednesday was her actual bday so Tuesday night I just arrived and had a few drinks in the hot tub. Weds we went for a long hike which was just gorgeous although the weather was really hot and we all got a bit burnt.

Thursday me and the boys went paddleboarding on Lake Coniston which was awesome! I'd never done it before but I wasn't too shabby at it! Of course it wasn't a relaxing paddle around the lake though with 4 brothers, it was a full on war of shoving each other off the entire time. It was great fun and I felt so damn lucky bc I never got to do anything like that as a kid! The boys went to the pub for drinks with their dad when we got back and me, my mother in law and sister in law stayed home and got drunk in the hot tub. And then the boys came home and cooked dinner for us 🥺 we're so lucky. Every evening I was there looked like this:

Friday I woke up v hungover. Vomiting and everything which is really unlike me! I blame it on the champagne bc I usually stick to gin but obvs we were celebrating his mam and everything. Matt went out fell running with Maggie and I went for a walk with the other boys and the parents. Not such a lovely walk bc it rained most of the time but it was just as beautiful.

We all had dinner together and then I left bc I was back in work at 6am today. I had a lovely shift tbh as it was just me and Uncle Manager until 9 and we just had a good catch up while we got ready for opening. He told me some seriously juicy gossip about previous managers at the old store and I let off some steam from my time away with Matthew's parents asking me when's the wedding, why don't you want kids bla bla bla. A very cathartic morning. And then when I went to actually start working stock I was greeted with this in my cold room:

Bear in mind I had literally been gone for 3 days and I left it organised and pristine. So I wasn't thrilled about that. But I was in a good enough mood that I got it all sorted anyway. Uncle Manager came to have lunch with me and informed me that his fiancée thinks I'm sleeping with him which is just great. Idek why bc he always invites her out on dog walks with us and she wouldn't come (Matthew has joined us a few times and it's been nice). But she gets jealous really easily anyway and after the work night out apparently she started questioning why he was transferring me out of the old store into his new one, why does he text me so much (literally 90% of the time is about work and the other 10% is him venting and me trying to help when she's threatening to kick him out of his own house). So when she turned up to pick up the baby's pram out of his car I didn't dare go say hi. She's only spoken to me once and she wasn't very happy about it and since then I just keep out of her way but it just means now if I need anything I feel so guilty needing to ask him for help when he's not at work or whatever. Or heaven forbid we send each other memes for fun. So I'm in a kind of shitty situation but he says he's already explained that I moved across for the full time contract therefore pay rise, way more experience, actual formal support with my apprenticeship which I wasn't getting at the other store, better drive from our new house when we move.. and tbf I know I'm not doing anything wrong. Like as much as I find him kind of attractive, we are both adults in committed relationships, and also I know exactly how horrible he can be when he gets into an argument and I want no involvement in that. I like being able to go walk out of work after one or both of us has been in a bad mood and go back the next day after we've gotten over it. We literally just have known each other for a few years now and have always gotten on well bc we have a lot in common.

Anyway that's this week summed up. It's been eventful 😂 Visiting my sister tomorrow to give my niece her bday presents and then back to work on Monday.

Hope everyone is well! Apologies for the long rant

#personal #fitblr #fitbit #walking #hiking #holiday #relax #outside time #happy place #health blog #fitness blog #work

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star-felled · 8 months

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MY GOD I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT RED VELVET OMG I LOVED HIM SO MUCH BACK WHEN I WAS SUPER INTO CR ??? like i occasionally just had multi week long fixations on him where id just. fantasuize about him nonstop LOL. but then again i do that with All my fave chars (cough coufhg rai n piers ?!!?) so !!! Not Surprising i guess

HNESTLY ID LOVE TO especially cus i redid our main so it looks Much better and im much less embarrassed to Exist on it BUT LIKE one on one interactions like dms and shit tend to freak me out rly bad unless its wirth Close Friends LOL...

ermmm i forgor wht i was gona say but like. this is the first time ive really Thought about cookie run in a While and god i really do love those little fuckers!! its been so long i COMPLETELY forgot but then the squid feelies hit me right in the heart where it hurts and i was hjust like ououughgh........Squib....... i have so many feelings for them </3 but ive been out of the fandom for SO long all of the new cookies and story and stuff is just way too much for me and its super overwhelming </3

red velvet is so silly ..... i love de and her horrible horrible children

also, thats totally fair !! dms also drain my social battery so i COMPLETELY understand <3

SQUIIIIIIBBBBB one of my friends really loves squink so naturally theyre my baby as well <3<3 and dw im in a pretty similar boat, ive only been popping in for updates on lily and black pearl LOL ,,, thankfully cookie run lore isnt all too hard to catch up on, from my experience in the fandom ! though tbf i only pay attention to two storylines so /silly

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leeyanyanyaaan · 1 year

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afterthoughts for kh3

guess who's not sleeping again =w=

listen, i really enjoyed the kh3 experience, mostly bc of my bias for kh in general, the fun new additions like exploring in the gummi ship and cooking w remi, and especially graphics wise it was very visually pleasing to play through, but if i have to be honest, some things just put me off ESPECIALLY with how the story went (but its kh what else should i be expecting 💀) and some of the game mechanics.

if you asked me what my favorite of the kh games were, i'd answer kh2 and khbbs (with the addition of the main title games too tho haha). only i hated grinding on bbs and the powers were absolutely insane LMAO

but the video in the link actually covers a lot of stuff really well; as much as he disses the game the guy makes a lot of good points and feedback for his criticism in ways it could've been done better or how the previous games have done it.

honestly just ignore me i just want to put my thoughts somewhere LMAO

youtube

DISCLAIMER: This is purely subjective opinion!

If my opinion opposes your own, all I ask is for uhm... no knives please? ;w; and by no means do I intend for anything that I've said to offend or hurt anyone :"(

Gravity - This. Right off the bat he already points out one of the game mechanics that's been... well, come to my attention? I DEFINITELY noticed how KH3 has become way more aerodynamic. I feel like one of the reasons why, that I think he doesn't state, is because from the beginning we already have so many skill moves that it felt like we were already midgame lol (it's probably the wall climb and airdiving). But yeah, Sora's floatiness is pretty obvious, like, he just has a lot of airtime. The one thing I really wanted and hoped would be in the game would be a ground slam, like the one in Genshin. I mean tbf sometimes the more aerodynamic mechanics helped in fighting but only for the typical crowds of mobs; for bosses they can get annoying and get me more caught in attacks easily (then again, I'm not the best blocker OOF)

Attractions - Okay, for my case, the attractions was a great way to keep my baby sister entertained AHAHA she would always ask me "Ate! Ate! Do the unicorns! Do the teacups! Do the pirate ship!" with the addition of the Disney characters that she's a little more familiar with (cough Frozen and Monsters Inc cough) she always liked watching me play =w= but otherwise I'd usually ignore the attractions LOL. He absolutely called me out there tho AHSDJASKBD but I did not realize they were DisneyLand attraction rides until at least three rides where I pieced it together LMAO. I can see his point about its disjointedness from the gameplay and his ideas make sense but IMO I also think that saving the attractions for boss battles would work too like the train, eg. the Pirate Ship for The Caribbean? It also kinda makes me sad how The Carribbean was the only world to stay consecutively for the three title games :"( then again, it is a nice refresher to see the newer Disney/Pixar films in the game and I liked how way more fleshed out The Carribean was this time. Plus IMO the way they tied in the concept with the possible "New Seven Hearts" and the reason for why the characters could be a new heart of light actually made sense to me, so I didn't mind it too much... except that concept kinda just gets dropped in the end so 😐 (I mean, I get that they needed to purpose for the Disney worlds to still remain, but seriously, this isn't the first time KH just decides to drop a plot point when it's no longer relevant ToT)

The Original Worlds - !!! THE FACT THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE RADIANT GARDEN 😭😭😭 WHERE DID IT GOOOOOO I WANTED TO SEE THE RESTORATION COMMITTEEEE but I mean... idk i guess we still got to have Winnie the Pooh and Remi? and Scrouge and the triplets were still there too (but no more DisneyTown.) I guess I liked that there was more to do in the Keyblade Graveyard with the labyrinth? ig? The war itself... it kinda felt underwhelming 😥 then again, in terms of combat it really pales in comparison to BBS (even tho bbs was super op oof)... that game really gave me a challenge especially with Vanitas :") as for Scala ad Caelum... this is something that plays more to UX, doesn't it? (sidenote: I got so jelly when all the UX players got to be in the final attack 😭💔 by the time I wanted to download UX it wasn't available anymore :") and even when I did see it I haven't even gotten past KH1 first so... yeah) I wanted to explore the world but I forgot that the save data would be just before the final boss battle so I was stuck going on round 2 :") at least I got the secret movie I guess? Though I may just need to play through the post-ending save data a few more times to discover more things.

The Enemies - Like he mentioned about the unique special moves for each mob... Yeah, I really preferred KH2 and BBS's game mechanics over KH3... as cool as all the starter skills we got was, the battles, especially for the bosses weren't nearly as challenging as the past two days (remember when Mickey had to save our ass?). Back to when I mentioned Ventus, you really needed to think out a game plan and actually dodge or block attacks, you couldn't just tackle him head on especially because levelling up and grinding in BBS was terrible. Even though there were insane killer moves (which, IMO while yes they look too way OP for KH3, they were really cool!) not even that would've been enough, at least, not for your first 1v1 against him.

LMAOOO THE WAY HE DISSES BBS AT THE END 😂😂😂 fair enough though, i'm well aware bbs isn't part of the best games of the franchise, but then again, a big part of why bbs is part of my favorites is A. Aqua my waifu <3 and B. the storyline :") (fun fact, I even made a stand-alone BBS!AU for OCs with two of my old friends even though they knew nothing of the franchise! I only got them to skim through a BBS gameplay video and it was coherent enough for them to understand, me only needing to fill in the role of light and darkness LOL) BUT. I'M SO SO SOOOO HAPPY THEY'RE BRINGING BACK THE REACTION COMMANDS FROM KH2 TO KH4!!!! IT WAS MY FAVORITE MECHANIC IN KH2 BOSS FIGHTS! and probably in RPG games in general, the reason why I favor the first of the One Piece: Pirate Warriors series is because of the action commands and just how much more game mechanics there was in comparison to its predecessors.

One more thing I'd like to mention is the underwhelming performance of how scenes were carried out technical-wise... I mean, at this point I know it's nothing new but come on! The least they could very do is add subtle BGM to help carry mood if they're going to have empty spaces in between dialogue 💀 I know that they only added the Frozen songs for the marketing 🤡 but hey my sister liked it. Dialogue wise if I didn't like it I would just rewrite it in my memories 🤗

So now that game mechanics are covered, let's talk about plot :) warning though that uh I might be hazy on some details of the story by now, especially as half of the games I didn't have I watched gameplays of, so my understanding might be more limited than your average avid KH fan. I'm literally hanging onto this understanding by a thread ToT also it's three a.m. and my bestie insomnia is sleeping over <3

Like I mentioned above, what I did like about the plotline was how the New Seven Hearts were introduced and gave purpose and reason for each of the chosen Disney/Pixar worlds... UNTIL IT JUST BECOMES IRRELEVANT BY THE END OF THE GAME ToT but I mean, at the very least, it did make journeying through the new worlds more enjoyable? Well, for me at least. It's probably the Disney child in me talking 🤭 plus the fact that I played with my baby sister by my side.

But just as I was finally starting to get some sense of the plotline, it felt like by the end of KH3 they kinda just... dropped the ball. Rushed the plotline? Forced even. Especially in terms of Kairi.

I feel like we were robbed of Kairi's character. What was the point of her training to become a keyblade wielder if she was only going to be a damsel in distress in the end? It really only felt like she was just there to be the push Sora needed whenever he fell into... darkness. and only that. Literally. If Kairi was going to save Sora, couldn't it have been done at the very least, physically? With the keyblade? Show her strength? (pls i wanted badass kairi so bad and where she physically saved sora for once ajsdbkas)

The Keyblade War in general was so lacking :( like, when I said I rewrite scenes I didn't like in my head it was most of the keyblade war. It's probably harsh of me to say this, but I feel like they just didn't put in the effort the story deserved, for the keyblade war at least. Especially what were supposed to be emotional and moving scenes, they just didn't have impact they were trying to convey. The way the characters were thrown into despair felt so cheap, and they barely did much to turn the tables either. I don't know. I guess I was just expecting more because of the concept of "war". Literally, at the very least, they could've shown more reaction and action when they were under attack? As overdemanding this sounds, if they're able to program visually high quality combat mechanics for the whole of the game, why not for the cutscenes? Though this might be my lack of knowledge in the game development side of things.

And then the ending? Kairi's disappeared and now Sora's going after her...? (Update: just quickly watched a summary of Re:Mind. So Sora's gone because basically he messed with the Laws of Nature/Keyblade magic so Sora's disappeared to the Human World/Quadratum as punishment... I think? Well, I guess there's a little more closure now, albeit it feels like they've found a convenient loophole to bring back Kairi 🤡 KH Lore still not making any more sense as always LMAO) Like, is this really how we're concluding KH3? What about the Heart Hotel gang? The vessels? Like, hooray everyone gets to have a happy ending and be reunited but is this book closed end of story for them? The Heart Hotel played a big role for Sora and his powers and the story (I think I saw a tumblr post talk about this). I'm just- I dunno... no closure? I don't even know what to expect for Kairi in KH4. I know Riku is gonna be following Sora, but I feel like Kairi deserved way more than the role of the damsel of distress and the shining light for Sora. Is she really just gonna be yet another Shonen Female Lead with Wasted Power?

But I myself don't think I'd know how to connect the events of KH3 to the Quadratum in KH4 with a different ending. Maybe they should've played more on the idea of Sora falling to darkness, since they've emphasised this a lot (and well he's in the "afterlife" now). They seem to have the Heart Hotel sorted so they'll probably only be briefly mentioned as like voices or shining lights in Sora's depths of despair from now on. And again, I'm still hazy on certain parts of the KH lore, so I'm not sure how the Foretellers, Luxu and Master of Masters will tie in either (though do note that I haven't played beyond KH3 yet so maybe there's answers in the preceding games).

I dunno. Maybe it's just my sleep deprived braincell not processing information XD

Anyways, I'll just be here hoping for the story to continue to unfold and for the release of KH4 :D I'll also try to navigate my way around the rest of the games that I need to go through for lore. It's nearly four a.m. so I'll try get some shut eye now =w=

[Overall score: 8.5/10 ⭐]

#kairi deserved better #noisyanyan #kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kh3 spoilers #personal opinions #game review #now i need sleep

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rottingskunk · 1 year

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This is not fandom related in anyway shape or form. A more personal post once more but not in a sapphic way.

If anything this is me rambling about things i did as a kid that honestly feels like i should be checked for neurodivergency (tbf theres more things i could say—) (i am not a professional this is only me explaining some experiences i had in the past/present not a diagnostic tool i get that)

1. As a kid i learnt about the fines if you don’t wear a seatbelt inside your car (its higher for drivers and those in the front seat?) I would repeat the same prices every single morning when i left for school to my driver for several years. Consistently. It stopped during the pandemic (might pick it up again i like reminding ppl to be safe)

——

2. Apparently as a baby i would always cry whenever people started clapping after mass. As a kid i hated the sound of fireworks to the point i wore giant headphones while opening presents.(i want one so bad again what🧍‍♂️) To this day my ears are atill hella sensitive and now theres tinnitus in my right ear how fun!/sarcastic on fun

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3.As a kid till now i have a hard time eating vegetables. Their texture is the WORST to swallow, feels slimy or too wet yuck. But if its vegetables that are already mixed or hidden from me (such as shanghai or overall in food wrappers) i eat it more.(my brain works in funny ways, spinach cheese dip is my favorite thing in the world)

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4.My room currently and before always and i mean always had collections of things i was interested in. Not once in my life was i not collecting or gathering something for my interests. As a kid it was Lps,monster high and barbie. Nowadays its anime stuff,kpop merch and other things, ANYTHING NOVEL I FORGOT THAT

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5.relating to outcasts….this is self explanatory and also especially weird kids who get nd coded by the community (i love those hcs so much)

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6. Hypothetically have a special interest in the arts especially drawing, singing, broadway theatre,jewelry making (these lasting for years, jewelry making still new tho for at least 2 years)

(Thats all imma say for now idk what this is just rambling?? Oh well) If anyone relates i suppose feel free to comment or reblog bai bai!

#self diagnosers #infodump #ambroserambles #not fandom related #hyperfixating? kinda check. i don't like using specific neurodivergency terms w/o a diagnosis but i sure do obsess with things completely #im awkward at tags if its not fandom related😭

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tklpilled · 3 years

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you responded with a grumpy emote, for one thing

babies tend to be very happy and giggly actually from my experience

#tbf my only experience is just one baby #but its still experience #ask #splendiferousserendipity #clown tag

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bookofmirth · 3 years

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I haven't read ACOSF yet, and tbh I'm rather rusty with the characters but it was really interesting to read your opinion on Elain! I feel there's a lot of complexity to her. And how she presents herself as well because as you said we literally have no chapters from hers or Lucien's POV and I think that's the important point to note because right now we're all just guessing and assuming her to be like Feyre, but she's not. People deal/show their traumas in different way and l think people expect Elain to deal with it as Feyre did. But, Feyres trauma and Elains are very different!

I don't really know what I'm saying. But I read your answer and it made me go 'oh... Huh!' in a good way, it sparked my curiosity! So thank you! But I think Elain perhaps is the most complex person with their trauma. I know people say 'oh Nesta is so different' but (I specialised in drama therapy so I love psycho analysis) and what Nesta did is self destructive to prevent relationships to avoid hurt or more emotions that she doesn't want to acknowledge (in my opinion!)

Elain just shuts down. She doesn't drink, she doesn't screw, she just remains in her garden which in itself says a lot! That's a very grounding way to handle trauma and not a lot of people are aware of that side!

So yeah I don't know what I'm saying but I think it's a really interesting discussion!

I have so many thoughts about Elain! This took me a few days to get to because i knew I had a crapton of thoughts. So this is basically me using this ask to explain the way I see Elain post-acosf!

There are three important scenes in acosf off the top of my head: when Elain talks with Nesta and they fight, and then with Nesta and Feyre and she gets mad and leaves, and then Feyre and Rhys talk about her in their chapter. We’re getting a lot more information about her, and for me, it wasn’t so much about who she is, but why we don’t know who she is.

So far, what we’ve had is Feyre’s and Nesta’s POV. Even when Feyre and Lucien tried to help her in acowar, they were unable. So we’ve never had anything about Elain from someone who didn’t grow up with her and experience the same trauma (such as becoming destitute, their mother’s death, their father being beaten, the Cauldron, etc.)

The sisters do handle it very, very differently. And I think that at this point the fandom consensus is that Elain runs away from her problems, but I actually disagree, and partly because of what you mentioned - that she isn’t using those self-harming, destructive coping mechanisms. Nesta was avoiding her problems, hardcore. It’s absolutely possible that Elain avoids things, but I don’t think that she just runs from all of her problems because:

Elain grieves her father. Openly. She tries to accept the fact that it wasn’t her fault and that she couldn’t do anything about it. (See: her going to his grave in acofas, her first talk with Nesta in acosf.) Elain does not run from her grief, she doesn’t pretend it doesn’t exist, and she doesn’t hide it from others. As one of the most defining events we’ve seen her go through in the series, that’s a pretty big deal.

Elain does not cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms. There could be ways that she does this that we are unaware of. She does seem like the type who would be really, really good at making people think she’s okay, all while she’s silently imploding. But we don’t know that yet?

Elain does not isolate herself.

However, Elain definitely needs to deal with some stuff! She definitely needs to deal with Lucien, and she needs to have an actual talk with Nesta because I don’t remember a single satisfying resolution between those two in acosf. Not like Nesta had with Feyre.

I have this idea that is purely based on Elain’s line in acosf:

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow, all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” (pg. 233)

And then Feyre tells Nesta that yes, Elain was right.

This is so so so sossosososos important. I cannot emphasize it enough. Elain is used to putting on a fake, smiling face because she doesn’t want the weight of her sisters’ concern. She has been pretending to cope for so long - and tbf, she seems to have been doing better than Nesta - that people not only forget that she has suffered, but she doesn’t feel like she can even express that suffering.

Emotional labor often means negating one’s own feelings in order to acknowledge or tend to someone else’s. And that is Elain’s major role, in the series. Feyre has been caring for everyone’s physical wellbeing (hunting), while Elain’s role has been to care for everyone’s emotional wellbeing. But, like with most emotional labor, it has gone unnoticed.

I’ve made posts about emotional labor in the past (four years ago!!!!) but I’m gonna spare you the link because a lot of it was about a ship that’s no longer a ship, so here is the relevant content:

What I am talking about is the regulation of emotion - any time that you give comfort, are especially attentive to someone’s needs, stop thinking about how you feel in order to focus on how someone else feels, try to cheer someone up, make sure that they are taking care of themselves, try to allay their insecurities, etc. Basically, helping them with any sort of emotional distress.

You know those posts you’ve seen, about women protecting men’s egos constantly? Or about making time for self-care? Or about recognizing toxic relationships? That tell you “if X is being demanded of you in a relationship, get out”? Those are ALL about emotional labor, broadly speaking. They are warning you not to do more than you can handle, more than you need to do, because it can be harmful to you.

If you have ever been expected to make a person or people feel better any time you are around each other (including when they are angry, upset, anxious, ill, frustrated, insecure, etc.), you have performed emotional labor. Pretty much everyone has done this at some point, unless you are a completely insensitive jerk.

Notice, though, that I said expected to and any time you are around them – this is where the problem comes in for YOU. This is not about just being there for a friend.

Making loved ones feel better is fantastic. Seeing people be polite and kind to one another makes my heart shine. That is not a problem in and of itself. That can be seen as emotional labor, but there are no requirements on you in those circumstances. This is something you are doing of your own free will.

The problem, again, is when this is expected, constantly, over time. Now, in my experience, the expectation is not necessarily coming from the other person. One of the problems with this type of labor is that not only do others expect women to perform these tasks, but women expect it of themselves.

It’s super easy to see this – who is expected to take care of a child when they fall? Who is expected to baby-sit? Who did you want when you were sick as a child, mom or dad? Who is expected to be sensitive and pay attention to others’ emotions?

For more info on this idea specifically, read Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich. As a woman, I realized how much work I had been performing and how much it was harming me and I just… got real upset. She comes at this mostly from what a woman’s role is expected to be within the family, and might actually be a bit outdated in that respect because I feel like family structures and dynamics are shifting (that is a totally un-academic evaluation of the situation, don’t quote me on that), but still, it’s really informative.

While I was doing some research for this post I came across a peer-reviewed article about nursing and basically, high amounts of emotional labor led to anxiety and burn-out in those performing it. It literally will cost your mental health – not to mention your time, energy, attention, and it often requires you to ignore your own needs (this last part came from me, not the article). On the other hand, high levels of emotional intelligence (being able to recognize your own and others’ emotional states) meant less emotional labor (and therefore less anxiety & burn-out). One of the most important things to realize is that while you are taking care of someone else’s emotional needs, your own are frequently unmet. That is why it’s important to recognize this in yourself, not just in these characters.

So where does Elain fit in? Elain is the #1 emotional labor provider of the family, and she is about to freaking SNAP. I know, because once I realized how my trauma was hidden in order to spare someone else its consequences, I fucking SNAPPEd. I’ll also spare you the personal details, but Elain hasn’t been “okay”. She hasn’t been “boring”, or “nice”, or “chosen” Feyre over Nesta. She has literally been unable to express herself because (and I am NOT blaming Nesta or Feyre or her father one bit) her family’s emotional state has been so fragile, there hasn’t been room for Elain to feel or express her emotions in years.

In the feysand short, Rhys says:

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.

And that completely tracks. Everyone has gotten used to Elain being not just “nice”, but being the emotionally predictable one. The one they know they can go to for a smile. The one they can count on for never, ever making them realize that she has been through Some Shit Too. And being that person is exhausting.

When Feyre thinks about Elain not using Lucien’s gloves, 1) she still has them, otherwise she couldn’t think about Elain not using them, and 2) I like to see the gloves as something that she will come to use, once she realizes that she can feel and express those emotions without it causing a breakdown in the family. Right now, she just wants to feel. And she can’t do that emotionally, so she’s doing it physically. Once she heals and finds a better balance, she won’t need to resort to physical pain. (Which, lowkey has me thinking some other thoughts, but.... maybe later.) But anyway, once Elain does go through her very own special journey, I fully expect her to welcome those gloves. She won’t need physical pain to feel anymore.

Not to mention my completely unacademic and non-professional opinion that people will judge a nice women harshly for being rude once, but accept a woman with a history of rudeness for just “being that way”. It’s another way that Elain may feel trapped in her “nice girl” persona. I think she started out that way - kindness and light and generosity is 100% in Elain’s character in the first place. It’s not as if she went into the Court of Nightmares and suddenly Cassian thought, “wait, she fits right in to this shithole of depravity”. No, he still thought the literal opposite. It’s just that once people get used to you doing all their emotional labor, they will continue to take advantage of it, even if they don’t realize its cost.

#elain #acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #ask #PHEW I needed to get that off my chest too #midnight-wonder

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