#talking to people is super draining rn too

[simpjaes]

mlt to be into messy sex like they get turned on the messier it gets eg. squirting, cumming on your face/other body parts

MTL: hyung line + messy sex/cum play

warning: messy stuff involving spit, cum, sweat, squirt (+implied piss), period sex

under the cut so people aren't forced to see details.

most

heeseung: you said messy and i'm writing this with purpose specifically but, squirting is his fave thing ever. every girl he gets on top if will squirt for him or he ain't calling them back. this does happen to involve a lot of water drinking before hand, and a very locked bathroom door lmao. that aside, i think heeseung would be really into cum play as well. coming in you, on your ass, thighs, legs, feet, tits, hands, and/or back. would also probably come all over himself if it comes down to it. Same for you, he's obsessed with your wet, and would probably try to drown in it if he could.

jay: (im insane for him rn pls look the other way) i imagine jay would be pretty into the messy blowjobs. i'm talking like, cum and saliva bubbling out of the corners of your mouth, tears running down your cheeks, etc. for him, there's something about being pussy drunk when his girl is cock drunk in turn, and it always leads to the messiest and best sex. The head you give is is loud, wet, lots of slurping sounds, lots of gagging. the head he gives is equally as loud, though he's probably moaning a lot through it too. i think he's the type that wants you to collect his cum on your tongue and let him watch you swallow it. also the type to fill your mouth full of his cum, tell you to hold it in without swallowing just to see it dribble out of the sides of your mouth. he thinks it's gross and disgusting, but entirely too hot that you do it for him.

sunghoon: hoon is probably super into coming on your face if it's not inside of you. not only bc he thinks you look hot like that, but because it genuinely just feels so fucking good to him for everything to be wet and messy, especially in the way you indulge him and thumb the mess into your mouth, proving that you like it just as messy. same goes for when he's fucking you too. i think he'd be into body fluids, and want them all over the place. squirting? man, he would be in heaven, especially if you let him open his own mouth at it. also probably really into spitting in your mouth but thats just me.

jake: messy with it without intention because he's always been that way. I mean, bro probably half-drained of cum before he even puts it in you due to the sheer amount of fucking pre-cum he gives. the type to be a huge fan of squirting as well, almost always abusing the fuckkkk out of your g-spot just so he can get you as messy as he always is. also the type to want to be fucking drenched in you and himself by the time it's all done. one hundred percent would probably be into period sex too. not necessarily anything involving his mouth but man, being covered in anything you offer is something that would drive him insane. anything sticky, anything thick, anything that helps the slide, really.

least:

#ask #hardthots #enhypen smut #jake smut #sunghoon smut #jay smut #heeseung smut

[saturn-sends-hugs]

OK, finally writing out my thoughts for ep9 (cause MAN AM I EMOTIONALLY DRAINED RN 😭)

Honestly this is gonna be more of a character deep dive of how they’re all functioning post ep8 but HERE WE GO

(spoilers under the cut)

First off, oh. my. god.

I’ve seen some people saying that episode was filler and to that I say WHERE. Did you see all that character development??? Like yes we didn’t get a big Empire plot or anything but like??? Hello???

This episode was SO important for so many reasons:

First off, Echo is gONE AAAAAA 😭😭😭 Was i devastated? yeah, maybe, a little bit, but i was fully expecting this episode to just brush past that and it DIDN’T.

I feel like much of the time Echo seemed almost unnecessary (stick with me here). You have this elite clone squad with all these enhancements and skills, so what are they gonna do with this fifth member? This always felt like a theme for me, especially in fics, that Echo would feel like an extra and struggle to find his place in the squad (Which isn’t true, he’s very necessary, but until now that’s been hard to see).

After Crosshair leaves, it changes a bit. The Batch is used to working with only four members, so although losing Crosshair obviously shook them, they held together (in part because they had to focus on Omega and other things). So here, Echo can step in and fill Crosshairs role somewhat as lookout or copilot or whatever, and he always backs up the others in their roles as well.

Echo is a good friend to Wrecker, able to joke around in ways Hunter (as the leader) and Tech (just not jokey in that way) can’t. He’s there for Hunter as Corporal; second in command and just generally another leading figure (like in season one when Hunter is captured and he leads the Batch through Kamino). Echo backs Tech up in pretty much every way, like just generally knowing what Tech is talking about and how to help (copiloting, ship maintenance, brother handling, etc). And of course, Echo is so so good with Omega. He teaches her to use her bow, he knows how to be a bit more disciplined than Hunter while still being super attentive and sweet, he is simply Mom™️.

And then he leaves.

Not gonna get too deep into that because we all know his reasoning, but while I expected this episode to focus on the Batch working without him, I didn’t expect them to show us how they struggle once he’s gone. Because holy shit they do.

Obviously, Omega is most noticeably affected. She’s struggling with a part of her family, someone she never wanted to think of leaving, being gone now. But the others are struggling too, and that’s only making things worse. Wrecker and Tech are fighting, which although she’s somewhat used to that, this time they’re not stopping. Hunter isn’t doing anything about it either, and none of them are saying anything about Echo being gone. She’s thrown off, no one is acting like themselves (because they’re missing Echo too although she can’t see it yet), and oh right, THEY JUST LOST THE MARAUDER.

But now for the others.

The minute they stepped off the Marauder in this episode, they felt wrong. And none of them really mentioned it or outwardly showed it that much, but they missed Echo too.

Wrecker was off. He’s stuck with just Hunter, Tech and Omega now, and he’s being affected by all their emotions. In the past, Crosshair was who he could joke around with, a role Echo filled afterwards. Now, Hunter and Tech just don’t fill that role, and while Omega might normally, right now she’s definitely not feeling up to it. He’s sensing the tension there, and everyone’s emotions are just setting him on edge, so he’s getting rowdier, more argumentative. He doesn’t mean to be, but he’s upset and he’s struggling.

Next, Hunter is doing what he always does: trying to move on. He’s not ignoring it per se, and I’m not the best at understanding Hunter, but it seems like he’s just trying to keep the team going. And again, it’s more of a challenge without Echo. The fights that used to spark up, Echo would help handle. Or better yet, they wouldn’t be real fights because Wrecker and Tech wouldn’t be so on edge. Hunter is struggling to keep them on track without him, especially with so many other factors at play (Omega being upset, new dangerous mission from Cid, Marauder is gone, how much more can go wrong wait no Mr Filoni please don’t answer that).

And of course, Tech misses Echo. Yeah, he seems really cold and uncaring in this episode at first glance, but OMG that is the furthest from the truth. I honestly think Tech is struggling the most without Echo to fill in that fourth role. Tech always tends to want everything working smoothly, and without the help of a fourth member, Tech is really stretching himself in order to accommodate. And on top of that, he just really misses Echo. When Omega tries to call Echo, Tech immediately knows he won’t respond because his comms are off. And why might he know that?? Well to me it seems like Tech already tried calling him, probably long before Omega did 🥲

Tech in this episode is just at the end of his rope. He’s way less lenient than he might normally be with Echo around, because now he feels like it’s on him to almost be that “second in command”. Normally, Tech can just focus on his work and let the others handle themselves/each other. So when Wrecker drops the case in this episode, normally Tech would trust him to have it handled, and they’d all move on. Instead, Tech takes the case himself. To me this is pretty familiar cause ahem autism, which is a very fitting trait for Mr “I process things differently but I still feel just as much” Tech to have. I struggle to let people get things wrong, and at this point, on edge and pushing himself too hard, Tech is so over it that he decides the only way to get it done is to do it himself.

Edit cause damnit tumblr didn’t save for some reason but basically up until now, we haven’t truly seen how much Echo does for this squad. Yes obviously we’ve seen that they all love and appreciate him, but now that he’s gone we’re truly seeing how important he is, and I just think that’s so so good to see!!! He’s not just the Mom that keeps them from fighting, he’s also just a genuinely necessary and important member with his own role in keeping this squad together.

Basically, ECHO YOU BETTER GET BACK HERE RN I STG—

(no but really, they genuinely do need him 🥲)

So yes, Echo left and the Batch needs Mom back. But it’s not just because Echo was the responsible one with brain cells (although thats also true), it’s also because he is genuinely a necessary part of this group, not just an honorary member to fill in space for Crosshair. We saw in this episode what happens when you take him out of the equation, and it was bad. That right there made just me happy because despite him being gone, it was very clear that nothing would just be “fine” without him, and the batch needs him way more than he probably thinks 🥲🥲🥲

Ok uh I didn’t mean for that to be so long bUT LISTEN, I just think there was so much to that episode and I could talk abt it for HOURS, THEY NEED THEIR BROTHERRRR

#feel free to add on to this!!! i want to hear y’all’s opinionsssss #tbb spoilers #sw tbb spoilers #tbb s2 spoilers #sw tbb #tbb s2 #tbb echo #the bad batch #tbb tech #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb omega

[uravitypng]

OMG. LANA. valentine’s day event !!?!?! pls for me? 💌

💌 cute little desc: enfj libra! annoying but in a very cute slay way maybe? loud, extroverted, loves loves loves yapping. the funniest person around probably. very flirty. enjoys being loved. LOVES being crushed on. little bit of a god complex rocking? eldest daughter stereotype to a t. super work driven, love love love to work. always busy, cannot function when i’m not busy. i enjoy video games and reading and napping and lazy days, which i know sounds like it contradicts the aforementioned always busy, but it doesn’t. and all while being just like… around people, not necessarily a lot of people or like doing anything w said people but just being in the presence of people.

💌 love of my life: nanami !!?!? (or, if u have better ideas for the following, you go for it too, but i’m on a real big nanami kick rn: ♡ bokuto ♡ atsumu ♡ toji)

UGH ANYWAYS. ily!!!! thanks in advance if u do mine??? ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ xoxoxox tori

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈…

are a married couple!

- you first met while you were working at the same company. - slight opposites attracts but not really ?? - gojo is a nuisance to him and has been since they first were introduced, when he found out about you and people said you were introverted and talkative like gojo he thought he wouldn't like you at first. he was obviously very wrong. at the beginning he tried to tell himself that he didn't have feelings for you and if he did they are purely physical but he knew he was lying to himself. - talking about gojo, nanami doesn't like gojo hanging around with you too much. he's not a jealous person and he doesn't have any doubts about your relationships but you're his wife and he feels like gojo tries to steal your attention. - he says your flirting doesn't affect him BUT it totally does. as soon as you're alone he's all over you. this man is about restraint but you definitely test it with your flirting. his face is completely stoic like normal until it's just the two of you and he's got his hands all over you. - as you like keeping busy and working hard kento makes sure that you don't overwork. he appreciates you're work driven, it's one of the things he really admires about you. he makes sure you look after yourself by not exhausting yourself by working too hard. nanami doesn't work overtime and he doesn't want you to come home after work feeling super tired and drained. - at first glance he doesn't look to be very sociable but you know he can be. - your humour together mixes really well often making each other laugh. nanami's quips and one liners told often with a straight face always makes you smile. - you're both readers! meaning that you'll both read a book in bed before going to sleep and you'll suggest each other books that you think the other will like and discuss them. even if nanami has no interest in the book you're currently reading he'll still listen to you talk about it and encourage you to tell him all about because he just loves hearing you talk about something you're passionate about. - kento loves a good lazy day together, especially after he's found work to be rather stressful in the week. nothing is better to him than staying at home with his wife having a lay in and then watching some tv or watch you play video games while he reads in the background. - he'll constantly call you his wife to people, 'my wife made it,' 'me and my wife went out to dinner last night' etc.

i really hope you like this tori!! i've never written for nanami before so i hope i did alright with your nanami kick atm!! ily2!! (don't tell anyone but even if my event was closed and i wasn't doing any more i'd still do one for you)♡♡♡♡♡

valentine's day event

#♡ mine / event #♡ nanami #kento nanami #//////////// #nanami headcanons #jjk

[dupliciti]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

repost, do not reblog this

NAME: rath, debating on switching alias to terios

PRONOUNS : she/they

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : discord 100%. i do not just use mine for rp so i don't really mind if from the get go we exchange usernames for it. will be okay chatting in IMs as long as the messages aren't too long since they're a mess to read sometimes

NAME OF MUSE(s) : sampo

BEST EXPERIENCE : honestly this has been my best time. i'm not in school so i don't gotta worry about that and i've made friends with some chill people and also enjoy seeing all my mutuals. i get to talk about sampo in this void it's great asjkdgh uh which i mean is half of the reason i made a blog in the first place, i needed to put my hcs and thoughts into something! and the fact that people are receptive and in turn will write with my sampo is all i could ask for

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : ship collecting. i don't want to feel like you're following me just to ship with me because i'm not into that and sampo in particular is difficult. i do not mind talking about ship potential, but if you're just following and opening up with shipping.. nope

assuming something about my muse, like something personality or motive wise i mean. sure, he's a canon character, but i have thoughts on literally every little thing in the game regarding him. analysis... headcanons... they all have their place and build upon my understanding. this is basically the only muse i write atm so i have the time to spend like this on him and it means a lot to me when people observe my flavor of sampo in the light i've tried to put him in. the same would apply to any other muses i write

ghosting. i've had this issue a couple times already within this rpc which... it's whatever. but idk, i feel like if you've made me put effort into communicating with you and you just take off after gradually putting me in limbo with you or giving weird responses... it's off-putting and makes me feel as if i've wasted my time. what i’m talking about in particular has always resulted in the other person blocking me without a word so yeah. that’s what i mean by that. outside of this context, softblock or hardblock me, no hard feelings.

not cutting posts? i can't think of anything else super pressing

MUSE PREFERENCES: i'm trying to think of the types i've written and it's usually similar to sampo in some manner? so dabbles in crime, mysterious background, hard to trust, doesn't trust others. mostly that stuff??? i think nate drake is the only example of me attempting to write one of my fave character types? which would be golden retriever-esque (but he still does illegal things sooo) but i usually don't end up writing them fsr outside of that asdjkgh

PLOTS OR MEMES : plotting is preferred and accepted for anything. uh memes are fine? sometimes i just get overwhelmed with getting a lot of prompts... like rn.... lol

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : i prefer a happy medium especially if we have multiple threads. you could write me a one liner and the shortest i might go is a paragraph, so yeah. longer stuff will take me a bit to respond to but sometimes shorter stuff i struggle with if we haven't been plotting idk asdjkgh i prefer writing a couple paragraphs personally

BEST TIME TO WRITE : i am realizing i have more energy in the mornings for writing but i usually don't wake up early enough on work days. evenings are great, nights not so much. after an 11 hour work day i'm typically drained.. it sucks bc that's when i have the most free time

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : no not at all LMAO, he's v much the opposite of me in every way possible... well. i don't really trust people easily so maybe that?

Tagged by: i seen many do this, i steal

Tagging: @aventvrina, @crimsonbesotted, @deathsmaidens, @defiedlife, @voidfragments, @sagnaevi, @iiryoku, and whoever wanna !

#( dash game; ) #( ◇ ᵐʸ ᵈᵉᵃʳ ᵃᵘᵈⁱᵉⁿᶜᵉ┊ ooc; ) #long post

[wimsiecal]

So I've discovered that I'm going through what is called

✨️Autistic burnout✨️

Like I'm super drained and I just cannot even mask anymore most of the time. Like I just stand there like -_-

It's almost like my mind/body said you know what? No fuck this. We can't do this anymore. There's too much going on and this world was not made with us in mind.

And most neurotypical people just cannot comprehend that seeing someone who isn't cheerful speaking in a tone with little to no emotion doesn't mean they have had a bad day or hate their life.

Like I literally had a guy come up to me earlier and go "hang in there, you look like you've had a hard day" and my shift had basically just started

What i would love to say in response is "no, I'm just autistic and living in a neurotypical world exhausts me" but they probably wouldn't understand that and it's kinda hard to talk rn.. so I just don't say anything.

Anyways yeah. I think it's good to look up things and understand what you're going through to better understand yourself. Also I need some noise canceling ear muff things.

#hhhhh #autism #autistic burnout #neurodivergent #understanding yourself #mental health

[rianafying]

it’s 4am i have the worst migraine of all time. i’ve had it for four days now. it was okay yesterday so i thought ut was over but it’s back again, and i have to go to work cause i’ve got a huge makeup gig today. i have to do hair and makeup for 10 models, and im just, exhausted emotionally. i was supposed to do some drawings and attach them to the file, and i told my client i would do it many days ago, but i didn’t do it. partly because of my headache and partly because ive been forgetful.

update: it’s 8am, i haven’t slept, took some painkillers, been getting spontaneous bursts of anxiety since yesterday afternoon. i always feel a little anxious before a job, but it’s only part of the reason. i feel terrible rn. i feel bloated and crusty, and my hair looks terrible. a huge part of how i feel is based on how i look, and until im happy w the way i look (hair styled, outfit pressed, makeup done, accessorised) i don’t feel okay. and i just hate the way i look and i hate everything rn. i’m having one of those moments where nothing is okay. it is entirely in my head because on other days everything could go wrong and i’d still feel okay. i hate being at the mercy of my emotions. i need more time to gather myself than i have. work is in two hours, at least it’s only a 10 minute walk from my place so if i forget something or whatever, i can come back and get it. but i feel really anxious. i can physically feel it. and i’ve misplaced everything, and suddenly my room is all messy again. and all i want to do is sleep and complain. i wish i didn’t feel so crusty 99% of the time. and i felt so lonely yesterday, not the kind of loneliness that makes me wanna talk to people. it’s the kind that just is there. i don’t wanna talk to anyone. i hate everyone. and i just wanna be by myself. but that also feels bad. i have a social life, and i love my friends but it’s different. i could even see people if i wanted to but i don’t want to. why do i feel this way. i don’t wanna be with people i don’t wanna be by myself either. at least i don’t feel suicidal lately. i just feel annoyed. frustrated. especially with the migraine i just wanna throw things and break things. i never have and i never will actually throw or break things. but that’s how i feel. just super. irritated. i need time i hate being in a time crunch. none of my thoughts make sense and im simultaneously over and under stimulated. how is it too hot and too cold at the same time??? it’s too hot in my blanket but too cold if i take it off. and i can physically feel my skin, like i can feel a separate layer on my body. and im itchy and im so annoyed. its too loud and too bright. and i hate that the sun is up again, and i hate the sound of my alarm. i hate it. and u hate every terrible thing that has happened to me or to anyone. and my heart breaks for those who are going through so so so much worse. and nothing is right. this is not how it’s supposed to be. and i need my therapist. i’m gonna have a mental breakdown. i am having a mental breakdown. i can’t even cry lately. i don’t even drink water. i suck. of course im gonna feel this way. i dug myself into this hole.

another update: it’s almost 8pm, finally got home from work. it was just the most draining day ever. i’m exhausted but also strangely anxious. extremely anxious. the shoot went well, i think?? i hope!

#personal #journal entry

[efangamez]

Hi :) I'm very, very depressed. 2/15/23

So I wanted to make this post to kinda humanize me a lil bit. If it's putting too much out there so be it. But don't get sad just yet though, there is a bit of hope! TW// Self loathing, self harm, eating disorders, depression

From about Thanksgiving, I have been very depressed. In this post. I kinda wanna talk about the things that have been making me feel this way and what happens because of it.

Living With Parents Living with my parents is a huge drain. My mother is not as homophobic and transphobic as my dad is, but it certainly is there. Also, we live on a farm, so I'm expected at any moment to help my family with whatever they need. This is a puts a HUGE damper on my mental health. Not only do I have to constantly remind them of my boundaries, but I also cannot express my gender as freely as I would like. I just want to wear dresses, maybe try some make up, hang out with friends, etc. But, here in south VA, I have no car and I have a phobia of driving, so there's that.

2. Burnout

I've been suffering from a lot of creative burnout. With the release of Reilley's Roadtrip, the last 1st Edition Neon Nights expansion, I have just felt completely wiped off the face of the earth. Yeah, sometimes I'll muster enough courage and energy to release a small game, but damn if I don't have the energy to make games more than 20 pages. I just feel...drained and conflicted. I have ALWAYS wanted more people to enjoy my games. I have. But I do ask people leave reviews for my games when they pick them up for free, and no one has been doing that. Wrath of the Undersea, my most recent game, has no reviews on Itch. That really sucks. I really like that game. Granted, more people downloaded it, but I want people to do more than that. I want them to have fun and maybe throw a little love my way. Idk, maybe I'm being super selfish with this. I'm a one person team living on a very small budget below the poverty line. I can't really afford to both hire people for games AND live. I can't. Also, I started these game jams recently, but I feel like I'm not advertising them enough and that kinda sucks, you know? Doesn't feel right. Idk. I do wish that I had my Twitter again, but it's kinda like a give-all thing over there that I just do not have the energy for. I guess I just kinda miss attention. I think that's the big thing here.

3. Self-Image Issues.

I am fat. I weigh WELL over 200 pounds, and because of this, I have major body issues. But get this; I am too fucking depressed and burnt out to work out. Hell, it is EXCRUCIATING to have to shower and brush my teeth now. And ALSO because of this, my gender dysphoria is CRAZY rn. It creates this super hellish loop that is just too much to bear sometimes. Right now I am so burnt out I want to take a month of unpaid vacation to just clear my head. Yeah, that will put me back a couple grand, but so what? Idk.

4. I Tire of Even Writing This

I am so burnt out even venting right now is a chore. I'm pushing through, but it's super hard. I can't even describe my own feelings without feeling I'm dumping everything on everyone. This sucks.

Anyway, yeah, idk why I am even publishing this. Hopefully people relate? Maybe send well wishes? Idk. Love y'all.

#burnout #burnt out #depression #sad #games #indie #gamedev #game dev

[summerpoison]

Job and ex ramblings under the cut because jfc I'm being tested again

First job is actually going really well currently!! After we talked about my performance and my worries I got my priorities under control and things have improved tremendously + I have a coworker now to assist me and she's been fun to work with but also very reliable, and since my biggest issue is self-organisation it's such a blessing to have someone to rubberduck and discuss tasks with + she keeps track of stuff too so my head isn't exploding

(+ I can vent and she channels my anger lmao I'm not very expressive with anger but she gets angry and pissed for me and that is super helpful too hahaha)

HOWEVER my second job is getting on my nerves so much!!!! It's been pretty bad lately anyway but currently it's even worse. The usual """manager""" doesn't do shit and now she's on vacation so I'm her stand-in and have to do all the shit she didn't which makes me so mad like, sure I can take care of things as they come up but why do I have to take care of the shit she would have been responsible for?!?!???

(+ my supervisor posting a screenshot in the group chat with my open tasks with the caption "what is going on here??? IS NO ONE AT THE BRANCH?!!???" relax dude you just got back from vacation yelling isn't good for your blood pressure also you posted this at 11am and I start at 3pm so what do you want me to do rn)

ALSO my ex is on his bullshit again I just don't get what's wrong with him jesus, like, it was fine and we had some open conversations and I actually thought he understood where I was coming from with things but now it's back to square one and I'm just so tired again

I'm in this constant state of exhaustion and everytime I manage to get out of this hole something happens that pushes me back in and it's not even like, mentally in terms of "evil brain" or whatever but quite literally physically draining -- it's like my brain is bright and alert and full of ideas and motivation but my body screams for rest and sleep and peace and quiet.

At the point again where I don't want to surround myself with people (irl) because it's just too much and too exhausting and I simply want to be myself.

I left my pads in the corridor after shopping and my ex questioned me about it as if it had been a used condom!!!! ("Why are they on the shoerack?" - "I forgot them there" - "Oh, so you forgot? What made you forget?" - "??? They didn't fit in my bag so I just put them there" - "On the shoerack?" - "Yes?" - "Strange... sure there is no other reason?" WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JESUS CHRIST)

Anyway, I have stories I want to write and painting I want to draw and friends I want to see but my energy level especially right now is just below zero

#mot

[flowering-thought]

Ah yes, procrastination! Hehe, I also deal 🤝

Anyways, I shall now detail my painfully awkward stories to you lol:

(I don't really know how to put these in order, so it might come out as a jumbled mess (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧)

1.) So, this one comes to mind first as it is unfortunately burned in my brain *cries* So! I used to have a HUGE crush on this guy that I worked with (I was wondering at a subway at the time) and because I had a crush on him, I happened to be shy and somehow kinda clumsy around him. And because of that shyness, I would find it hard to talk to him without stuttering or blushing. Normally, it wouldn't be so bad but he just so happened to also be shy and socially awkward like me. (Usually I always shy and quiet at first, until someone talks me out of my shell. Then I'll gradually open up and become more "extroverted" around them) Anyways, as you could imagine, there was a lot of terrible awkward silences. AND, bc we worked together, I had to deal with it. There was this time specifically where we got a large online order, and it was just the two of us, so I come up there to help him. Because the store we worked at was so small and cramped, we didn't have much room so we had to work side by side. Bc of that, to me, it felt like we were uncomfortablely close, and I kept accidentally bumping into him. Compare that with awkward silence, and I just wanted to disappear all together. He got a better job somewhere else not long after, but I always wondered if he thought I was some weird quiet kid or if he felt the same way I did. Idk

2.) Oh! So a few years ago (around 4) I went down to the lake that was kinda local to where I lived during summer every day for like a week straight. I happened to meet a boy who was two years younger than me (I'm only 21 now so I was a lil bebe then hehe(17)) He came up to talk to me, and was really polite and chatty too so I actually felt really comfortable hanging with him while there. He coincidentally happened to be there almost every day I was there. So it didn't take long for me to open up. Anyways, summer ended (obvi) and I continued about my life as it was. Time Skip! Up until fairly recently, I had completely forgotten about meeting him at all. Haha yes, so I was going grocery shopping when I met him again since he worked there. Only, I had NO IDEA who he was. (I found out he was also a local lol) Anyways, I walked in and he was kinda staring at me. And I felt super uncomfortable bc I felt like I was supposed to know him or something. So I kinda glanced over and ignored him until I had to check out. I didn't recognize him because he apparently hit a major growth spurt. Well I got to check out and he was like "do you really not remember me?" and I awkwardly shook my head no. To which he replied "we met at the lake a few years ago remember?" I felt so bad for not remembering lol. But luckily he was super nice, and all ended well.

3.) (This one isn't a story, but just a compilation of my ✨anxious habits✨)

*I can't tell people no, instead I talk circles around a "maybe" or a "next time"

*I genuinely worry if I make people feel uncomfortable bc I'm always a little awkward

*I can't stand awkward silences, so that leads me to ramble

*Crowded places are draining

*I'm always fidgeting with something when I'm nervous like my hair or necklace

*During the rare times I do actually have guests I'll anxiously spoil them with treats like food, drinks, etc.

*(insert general introvert things here)

That's all I can think of rn anyway. I hope it helps 💖

~🥀

Omg sorry I've been kinda hoarding this ask cause I relate wayyyy too much ʕ•ω•ʔ

🥀 I completely feel you with those anxious habits too 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯. If I feel like I somehow made someone uncomfortable I automatically go to apologize out of habit.. And a really bad habit of picking at my nails to the point it actually kinda hurts- but I've been trying to stop cause it kinda sucks after a while when your finger tips hurt yk?

But yeah social anxiety and just anxiety in general can lead to a lot of awkward conversations or interactions 😔 Sometimes I've been so completely oblivious to people attempting to interact that it leads to awkward silence lol- doesn't help I have a chronic RBF that makes people think I hate them ;-;

#.hana_talks_txt_♡ #the amount i relate to these stories is insane

[babygirlgojo]

Hello again!! Saw your response to my last ask and uhhh guess I’m getting kinda predictable huh 😅? I’m sorry if it bothers or annoys you, I just like consistent communication with the people I like so like I always try to do that cause reassurance is important to me so I want the other person to feel reassured too you know? But if it’s too much let me know and I’ll dial it down promise!! Your works hitting over 200 notes is an amazing accomplishment you should be so proud of yourself and if you’re not pls know that I am. Running a blog isn’t easy, much less maintaining and putting out such amazing works. I’m glad you’re feeling better!! And yeah writing blocks are so annoying but I feel that once you hit that stride, you start running and can’t stop. If that makes sense? It’s what I’ve gone through with my experience anyways. Tbh I’ve been better. Life isn’t the best rn and I’m super busy and drained atm. I’m pretty sure it’s burnout but I’ll manage somehow. Also my favorite character is Bachira but like almost every other character ties for second so like 💀. I swear I’m like this with every show/series. I end up with my favorite character and then there’s everyone else it’s always so hard to choose like I love all my babies adhkkghkhhh. Anyways it’s always so fun to talk to you I can’t wait to read the next part of my tears your company but obv take your time. As always I hope your day goes well whenever you read this and that you’re doing good and *sends many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

✨ anon !!

Omg no bb ૮₍ ˃̵͈᷄ . ˂̵͈᷅ ₎ა I meant it in a good way! Like when I release any blue lock fic I look forward to the reaction you have cause the blog goes both ways with the author/writer writing and uploading fics and the reader interacting with it along with the fact that they make my day. And i like consistent communication as well!! (꜆˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)꜆ So yeah, you're always welcomed in my blog and I enjoy responding to your asks! Even if there is more than one or two or even many! (like that one time where you saw me upload the third edition and came back with the review? My roommate heard me cackle like a Hyena.)

I like seeing people ask or talk about fics or even life outside of it cause at the end of the day its another living and breathing person on the other side of the screen and conversations are important to them as much as it is to you, rest assured, I like having you in my blog and it makes me smile each time I see an ask from you or anyone okay?

You're well liked (trust me when i see the ✨ anon I get serotonin) and I don't find you annoying; you have nothing to apologize for, okay?

૮ ◜ᵕ◝ ა

And don't dial down the energy! It's what keeps me hyped and this blog going    (´,,>ω<,,`)♡  ;

its reassuring to me when i have something in my inbox cause silence when you have so many followers isn't fun yk? It kinda makes the blog blank... Interact with an author and their works, get to know them, it makes their day too ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა and vice versa

I'm glad you think my works are amazing cause ngl when I'm reading through it I'm just sitting there like 'How did people let this mistake slip' ૮꒰- ˕ -꒱ა *groans*

Speaking of my writing block, I took a break and went on yt for a bit and found sumasumthing that gave me an idea to write for both NNN and for further part of the series (¬‿¬) no spoilers. Just wait ꒰ ⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖

But yeah it does work that way, once you overcome that block, you just keep running until you hit another, but you'll overcome that as well. <(˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)

Oh no, I'm sorry that you feel burntout :'< ; cause this was literally me a week ago. Everytime I have a burnout its cause of everything that is going on and its too much to handle sometimes so I kept telling myself three things :

'We'll cross the bridge when we get there.'

'Living in the moment happening right now is more important, what comes tomorrow comes.'

'Nothing is permanent.'

Take care of yourself; don't push too hard, push as much as you can. (づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡

ooooh Bachira!! He's sweet, I'm actually adding him and a few more characters to the fourth edition of the series. But yes !! It is so hard to choose one person Aiku stan mon ange

I mean you got 11 players + more and you even have the coaches *confused screaming insert* cause they are literally the whole bakery

My day is going fine chipped my nail polish with pistachios, been reading from my book shopping that I went for yesterday, planning to start fourth season of Haikyuu but I wanna watch this movie that I've been keeping on hold (Drive my car- cause its straight up my alley.. kinda like driving miss daisy? Yes I am THAT old in taste )

*sending back hugs* ꒰ ੭´ ˘ `૮꒱ Hope you get better soon!! Bachira sends kisses!

#saint.σ #.lost sheep : ✨ anon

[hotdogdynamitezzz]

I am sorry for this late feedback but something more important came up in personal life.

I truly agree with what you said that I will be going through a lot of personal transformations because I am. Everything that I used to believe in before, is slowly shattering down and it feels too sudden? I do want the good things for myself but the pace at which all these are happening, makes me distressed. I have started to keep less expectations from people/friends in general and this protects me from getting hurt. Also, yeah, i am charging ahead towards my goals in life , they are far now but i feel like i will be getting close to them soon. I am not the person that I used to be before and sometimes it shocks me but eventually i know that it will help me in the long run. I haven't been through a breakup, so i guess it means changing old patterns and coming out of them. Even though, i wanted something " lovey dovey" in my solar chart but i guess that's not important in my life right now.

Thank you so much for the reading, it was really helpful and insightful ✨

Hello! Omg don't apologize for the late feedback, I appreciate you even coming here to give me such personal thoughts and details. It was so honest I was really touched by what you've said. Touched as in I feel like crying with you cuz Ik how scary it is to have so many things breaking apart quickly and you don't feel ready :( and I wish I could give you a hug rn omg. It is super distressing and it sucks feeling like you have to change in order to be happy so you can protect yourself. That part really hit deep tbh, but I want you to know you don't have to stay guarded to protect your heart even though it feels like the only option rn. Staying true to yourself and keeping your peace protects your heart enough. I know you feel so shattered from everything you've gone through and it seems like you're going through a tower moment rn and seeking emotional shelter if that makes sense? Just something to keep your heart safe because you can't take anymore after everything you've gone through at once. It is overwhelming when this happens, it does feel as if you're breaking apart and no one can help. But those you've trusted and have stayed by your side during this you can always trust. Ik it can even be hard and draining to just talk to others when you go through these events and it seems neverending :( but it will come to an end and you will be able to keep your heart safe and your peace.

I'm not at all surprised you were hoping for a more lovey dovey year because honestly whenever I see a lot of change and turmoil present in charts I also hope they have a year filled with more love. Because that's when you really need it the most. So I'm hoping love does come your way this year and I'm wrong 🥺.

I think you will discover a lot of goals and be put on the path of what you're meant to do this year and that's beautiful. I'm happy that at least one good thing can be seen coming out of this year, it gives you strength and hope when you can see yourself getting close to them and that's sooo important for this development and painful growing stage in your life.

I'm seriously sending you so much love and hugs rn🫂🫂

This has been the most special feedback ever. This is totally unrelated but I had a really emotional dream last night and it was probably close to when this ask was sent because I woke up and fell back asleep around 5am my time and when I checked my tumblr this ask wasn't sent yet but when I woke up it was. The reason I bring this up is because I can't remember the dream exactly but it had to do with myself and this strange random man I've never seen before that turned on me and I felt really broken. He made me feel very threatened in a way? Like I couldn't turn to anyone for help. It had some fantasy elements to it as well but I can't really remember. It was a weird dream where he felt like the one for me but then all of a sudden turned on me and vanished. And for some reason in this dream others hated me too? I remember one part rn where I fell off a cliff and sunk into the water feeling unseen and suffocated? Basically I woke up wanting to cry because I felt so alone in this dream.

I just wanted to share that with you because I felt an emotional connection through this ask. I hope I'm not coming off as opportunistic or manipulative because I know some people say those things to take advantage of others. But genuinely that dream really struck me and it was such a similar feeling to your ask so I had to tell you about it.

I'm rooting for you and sending so much love and hugs🫂🫂💖💖💖💖💖 I'm really grateful for this special feedback, I wouldn't even call it feedback because it sounds so business-like and this feels way more meaningful. Sending you the best of luck to fight through this year and hopefully love will come your way.

(I'm also decorating this ask with the vibe I get from you and sending you beautiful angel numbers in the aesthetic that I feel for your current situation 💕 I'm seriously going to look back at this ask and think about it a lot. It's just a really meaningful ask for me)

#asks #ask game #astro asks #ask blog

[lotti-lyric]

Hi! You’re blog is super cool lol, I really love your aesthetic. I was wondering if I could request a BNHA matchup? I’m fine with whichever characters, like pro hero, villain or student.

So, I’m 5’3 (short gang represent), I’m nonbinary, I’m an INFJ, and I’m a Taurus. I’m very introverted and a bit shy, but once I get to know anyone and get comfortable around them, I have zero filter lol. Like I will call you in the middle of the night and either infodump or vent to you about the smallest stuff lol. I’m also the type of person that’s down for anything Like, you wanna go out exploring at 3am? Sure. You wanna stay in and rewatch an entire series? Let’s go. But most the time I prefer to stay in lol

Speaking of which, if I end up getting comfortable with someone and end up being friends, I will be extremely loyal. You need a ride? I got you, no need for gas money. You want to call me while I’m doing something and vent? I’m absolutely down to drop everything I’m doing and listen. I will be that person in the friend group that will joke around with you and mess with you, but if someone else literally comes to try and insult you? I will absolutely beat that other persons ass, like the whole “no one gets to make fun of you except me” concept lol. But I’m also very honest and will call out on peoples bs, no matter who that person is.

I have hyperfixations like no other lol, like rn I am currently obsessed with Bo Burnhams Inside Outtakes. And once I have those hyperfixation, it will be all that I talk about for a while until my brain is tired of it lol

What I look for in a partner, is honestly like a best friend that I can cuddle with sometimes lol. Just someone I can be able to rely on and be able to help me out on the tough stuff, as well as someone that can help me be a better version of myself, and I would do the same for them. And of course, someone that can do the silly stuff with me lol and put up with my own crazy bullshit

That’s pretty much it, I hope you’re doing well. Take your time and have a great day :)

charlotte’s interlude 💗- hi!! sorry for the delay, exam prep is praying for my downfall and succeeding 💀 but regardless, i hope you enjoy!! have an incredible day, tysm for the ask!!

warnings; mandela effect, swearing

i match you with…

Hizashi Yamada! (aka Present Mic)

- this for you both ^^^^

- hes so outgoing so in public, y’all seem like total opposites but TOGETHER, THE CHAOS

- he def is always there to help you just detox or recharge after a long day!! he knows how draining it can be!!

- 2am phone calls screaming together because curious george never had a god damn tail-

- he’s totally good with getting cozy and staying in but always looks forward to the little adventures you have together!!

- finds your devotion and loyalty sO ATTRACTIVE HOLY MOLY OH MY GOD

- he also appreciates your honesty since he loves it when people are real with him

- he’ll make sure to educate himself on whatever your hyperfixation is at the moment so he can talk to you about it!! if you’d rather rant about it, he’s totally cool with that too, even if he already knows!! he’s SO GOOD at engaging conversation it’s incredible!!

- watching the bo burnham outtakes together and randomly quoting them💀

- you truly bring out the best, most genuine parts of each other!! it honestly feels so surreal 💗

#bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #boku no hero academia #mha fanfic #bnha hcs #bnha x self insert #mha x reader #bnha matchups #mha headcanons #mha matchup #bnha headcanons #mha hcs #mha matchups #bnha matchup #bnha present mic #yamada hizashi #present mic #bnha fanfic

[pen-guin-writez]

Okay I'm kinda in need of a comfort fic rn so like-. Can I request a Dunnstock or SQUIP x a reader who has anxiety?

HI CORIII OH NOES ARE YOU FEELING DOWN HERE LEMME SUPPLY YOU I CAN DO BOTH ~~~

Martha Dunnstock

(Y/N POV)

October 1st, 1989--- Dear Diary,

Being unnoticeable to the entirety of high school isn't so bad anymore. I don't have anyone to bother me when I'm at lunch, I get to do my own thing without people laughing at me, it's all super cool! Is what I would've said before today. My life has changed, Diary.

If people did ever notice me, I probably would be dead where I stand. But today, someone did notice me. It was freaky. I was sitting by myself at lunch, (as usual) when an overweight (not saying that it's bad) brown-haired girl asked me a question. The question that changed my life.

"Is this seat taken?"

Okay, maybe I make it a tad bit dramatic? But I was really surprised! No one ever talks to me, and this girl just did. I was so excited. "No, you can sit here. I really don't mind."

"Thanks, no one really lets me sit anywhere. Except for Veronica, but she's out sick today, so I didn't really have a planned sitting destination!"

Veronica. She's one of the Heathers, isn't she? I vaguely remember hearing about her. Veronica renamed the Heathers to "The Seventeens", since she's the new leader.

There are four members, There's, of course, Veronica Sawyer. The queen bee. It used to be someone else. Heather Chandler. But she commited suicide by drinking drain cleaner. At least what I heard from Jenna Rolan, the gossip girl here. Veronica's pretty chill, she lets anyone sit at her table, unlike Chandler. You only get banned from her table if each and every Seventeen is in agreement that you are causing problems. I'd love to be Veronica's friend, but I'm too scared that she might think I'm weird.

Heather Duke, shy bookworm. I heard she took over Heather Chandler's spot before Veronica did. I heard she used to be super rude, and almost convinced a Seventeen Member to committing Suicide. But when the Seventeens revamped, she became quieter, and more pleasant to be around. I've tried to talk to her a few times in the hallway but got too scared and ran away

Heather McNamara! She's like a little puppy dog. Probably the easiest Seventeen to befriend. She's so sweet, but I feel my stomach sink whenever I try to talk to a Seventeen. God, why can't I just do it? We're almost graduating and I still haven't talked to a single Seventeen.

And The Final Seventeen is Martha Dunnstock. I've never actually seen Martha in person but I heard she's super nice, and she had a crush on Ram Sweeney. But I don't even know who she is. Sigh.

"..You sit with the Seventeens?" Oh my god. Did that sound offensive? Just because she sits with Veronica doesn't mean she sits with all of the Seventeens! Oh no, she probably thinks I'm a weirdo now!

"Oh, yeah! I am a Seventeen, after all. I'm Martha. Martha Dunnstock. You?" MARTHA DUNNSTOCK?!

I was so surprised, Diary.

"Oh... I'm Y/N, nice to meet you..!" "..." "Can I be honest with you, Martha?"

"Of course!" "Well... I always get this feeling when I see a Seventeen. Like.. I can't move. And if I ever try to talk to one, they'll think I'm weird. But here you are! You... used to be one of the weirdos and now you're a Seventeen. I could never be friends with one of you." I sighed. It felt really good to spill my guts out. But to my surprise? She smiles!

"Y/N, I may not really know you, much. But I can tell we'll be great friends in the future. You seem like a really sweet person, despite any of your flaws. I'll see if Veronica will let you join The Seventeens. She probably will, she's really sweet."

Those words melted my heart. Martha was nice enough to help me join the Seventeens. That wasn't so hard after all!

"Thank you so much, Martha!" Does she want more of a response than that?? I'm scared oh please he-

"Anything for a new friend."

That'll do, Y/N, that'll do.

SQUIP

(3rd POV)

The SQUIP was out to seek its first ever host. Right before Jeremy, The SQUIP had another host for a few months.

This host is named Y/N L/N. They are an anxious, insecure junior that wanted to fit in with everyone. They didn't have any friends, and yearned to know what life was like if they were popular.

"Y/N L/N. Welcome to your Super Quantum Intel Processor. Your SQUIP." The SQUIP was expecting a host just like Y/N. Most teenagers that took the SQUIP were just like them.

"SQUIP, I want you to make me popular!" So it was popularity they sought? "Popular? I can do that. There are a few steps we must commit to first. You need to trust me and the process though. Are you ready?"

"Anything, SQUIP!

~~~

Now Y/N was in a better place than they were before. Everyone liked them, they had a beautiful partner, and they have great grades.

"Thanks, SQUIP! Now I can just take the Mountain Dew Red, since I don't need you anymore, right?" Foolish little Y/N...

They can't just get rid of the SQUIP. There is much work to do. Not just in Y/N's brain, but in her classmates...

"No, Y/N. I have a plan. We have to help your classmates achieve their goals. Go through Rich's locker. I know the combination. Trust me."

~~~

Rich found out that Y/N was going through his locker and punched them in front of everyone. They were the laughing stock of highschool.

"Y/N-"

"I'm taking the Mountain Dew Red." Not a word was said after that. They purchased the Mountain Dew Red and headed home.

"Just a word?"

"What. Is. It?"

"I know you're still insecure about what people think about you. And now look at where you stand with me, and where you stood before you got me. You may be hated now, but tomorrow is a new day. You can fix this. We can fix this."

The SQUIP wanted the best for Y/N. And though it had weird ways of doing it, they have to trust the process.

"..." "But SQUIP, what if they tease me tomorrow?"

"We'll show them. We'll make a difference, rebuild relationships, and they'll see the true Y/N L/N."

Y/N smiled at this. They could tell this was coming from the heart of a SQUiP.

"Let's show them, then."

#fluff #bmc #xreader #heathers #oneshot #SQUIP #anxiety #martha dunnstock

[ilikebirdsouo]

hey! not to seem weird but i haven't seen you on my dash in a bit so I'm wondering if you're okay? sorry this is probably weird to send since it's only been like one day of inactivity but like--you good?

I’m ok now after seeing this ask- sorry, seeing people like… actually worry about me makes me.. idk- feel comfort!! I’m used to being the “side character” let’s say so… this meant a lot, thank you friend <:) BUT UH! To answer your question I am most definitely not ok and I haven’t been for quite a bit however today has been pretty decent and my birthday is soon so I shall not dwell on the negatives too much today!! But, to summarize, lately I’ve been having scary thoughts, I have gone through two friendship breakups within the past few months and my heart is not ok nor is my trust in friendship, one of said friendship breakups happened like last week and I am still quite uh shocked and grossed out by it all, uhhh also dysphoria and LOTS AND LOTS OF CONFUSION REGARDING MY SEXUALITY, MOTIVATION FOR ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING HAS GONE DOWN THE DRAIN AND I JUST- DONT!! I JUST DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE BUT I WILL PULL THROUGH!! JUST FOR YALL!! Oh also I have been inactive lately bc I’m technically supposed to be grounded rn so I have to be very sneaky SO I can’t be super active here also bc of that silly obstacle- BUT ANYWHO- I’m.. not ok really heh- but this ask meant a lot and!! Yeah! sorry I cannot words this week but.. I’m really trying as hard as I can to keep my head above water and you plus a few of my other mutuals are really the only people who make it worth it!! Gsgsgsh thank u for being here for me… it means so so much you have no idea! <:)) but I’ll be ok, I promise, rn I’m just recovering from and dealing with a LOT so- motivation for anything, including reblogging posts, does not exist at the moment unfortunately- I’m trying as hard as I can tho! And I’ll keep trying just for y’all. ANYWHO SORRY IFTHAT GOT CHEESY AT ALL I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO TALK LIKE I USUALLY DO LATELY- UHHH SORRY UH TY FOR CHECKING ON ME THO FRIEND!! I wish I could put into words how much it truly means to me, thank you <:)

Have a good day friend and thank you for checking on me, I’ll be ok, thank you for being here for me and I am so glad to have you as a friend, thank you <33

#also pardon my messy writing I am very tired gsgshshssh

[worksby-d]

Hey Destinee. I hope you’re doing well. I just have to vent about something real quick to someone. So, my grandmother passed away 2 days ago, not to trauma dump or make things awkward, but it’s relative to what im sharing. And the day I found out, I ended up having to cancel some plans and consequently tell my friends about it, since I had to cancel some stuff. Anyway, most of my friends have been super supportive and sweet, reaching out to me and seeing if I needed anything. Except for this one girl. The day it happened, she said she was sorry, and then went right back to normal conversation. Like she’s been texting me about being excited about moving into her new apartment and she’s pissed about stuff that she has to do for her apartment and I’m like…hello?? Are you tone-deaf? Do you really think I care about or wanna hear about this shit right now? She hasn’t even asked if I was okay or if I needed anything. It’s not like I expect her to send me a box of fucking chocolates or come to my house while I cry…but talking about all the stuff that’s going on in your life after I JUST shared that my close relative died?? Cmon now. And it’s not that I think she’s a bad person or a bad friend, she can just be extremely ignorant and sometimes selfish. She was raised as an only child and had pretty ‘well off’ parents and sort of had everything handed to her I guess. But she’s a genuinely sweet person and I honestly believe that if she knew she was upsetting me, she’d feel terrible about it and apologize. I just don’t want to bring it up bc I don’t want to make things awkward and I have too much going on rn to worry about arguing with a friend. You know? Anyway, it’s just annoying cause I honestly think I’m a pretty good friend and I pride myself on how I treat my friends, and it’s frustrating when you don’t get the same treatment back that you would give to others. But thanks for your time and letting me vent to this weird tumblr void haha❤️

hi!! oh my, first off, i'm so sorry to hear that :( my grandma passed away last month and it was the hardest thing i've ever gone through, so i hope you're taking care of yourself and continue having good support <3 but that's very strange your friend is doing that. but i think i agree, she probably doesn't realize :(((( i think if it's something you haven't gone through it's kinda hard to comprehend. i've probably done that to people if i think back lol :/ but it's super draining and you're valid for feeling upset about it :(

#reginaphalange2403 #answered

[musicallisto]

👒 + matthias helvar (of course 😭) i like playing video games (im playing that new game stray rn!), i get super loud/talkative around my best friends, i also get drained from said hyperactivity So quickly, my main hobby rn is staying up till 3 am for absolutely no reason whatsoever. my favorite color is pink and ive liked the smell of gasoline since i was a wee lad. um. cancer sun, intp (used to be an infp!!!!), i have gotten chaotic evil on the alignment test 4 times and have accepted thats what i am (i am a gremlin at heart 😽) anyways bye ily clara 🫶🏼

no way you're playing stray!! that game is so cute i want it so bad but it's expensive😭

some headcanons about your dynamic with matthias:

okay but a tangent on modern!matthias for two seconds: VIDEO GAME NIGHTS!

he would not get the concept at first. like, at all. he's probably seen enough violence in his life to not want to take pleasure in a game where you have to kill people.

"but they're fake guards, helvar. it's all make believe." "and? what if they have families?" "they're lines of code-" "what if they have code families??"

so you decide to show him a harmless game like stray and he's not convinced either.

"why in the three hells would i want to play as a cat?" "uhm, you've never wanted to be a cat? do nothing all day and just be an inconvenience? i mean, yeah, thats kinda what you do already" and homeboy is OFFENDED--

but then you tell him, "think of it this way. are you not curious about what trassel does all day? how he sees the world? what it is to be him? that's the power of video games. it's the best way to put yourself into somebody else's shoes."

and even though he still grumbles that it's literally So Pointless, he gets it a bit better with the trassel example.

which by the way! Trassel loves you. So much. You spoil him rotten and give him treats and belly rubs and matthias at first tried to insist he's like, a combat isenulf!! and not some vulgar dog!! but you look him dead in the eye for like 3 seconds and he gives in. he literally spoils him rotten and gives him belly rubs on the daily what is he even ON about

evenings at the crow club!!! delirious. so much fun. drinking games GALORE. he's cocky enough after one pint to challenge you to a drinking game and boy, do you not like to back down from a challenge. you coerce jesper into playing too, but jesper is a lightweight compared to the two of you + you're so keen on outdrinking matthias that you'll stop at nothing, not even cheating, to always be the one giving out the shots.

so jesper has to back away, and he does in mild terror, like O.o houston we might have a problem on our hands

but it leads to careless nights, stumbling drunk to your temporary home in ketterdam, leaning on each other for support and talking one another's ear off (you both get So. Talkative. when night falls and you've had too much to drink, it IS literally funny).

perhaps that's how the first "i love you" is blurted out, in the dead of night, the words forgotten in the morning by both parties, but the feeling remaining just as strong...

#murs 💎 #2022roadtrip #shadow and bone #matthias helvar #grishaverse #six of crows #matthias helvar headcanons