#talk to me lovelies

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

#talk tag #IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still) #(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'') #GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!! #one time i saw that a ​person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi. #they are TWIN BROTHERS. #not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this. #just horrible #also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you

[blushft]

dm'ing a mutual you've never interacted with one-on-one is so embarrassing like. hi.... im sorry. you can kill me if you want... can i have your discord..... if not.. feel free to shoot me down where i stand... im sorry.. i'll leave..

#ianriley #guy who loves to talk #but is so anxious that someone else will actually throttle me for suggesting a conversation #its okay! #i. will dm. first. i usually do.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

#nonbinary love #nblnb yearning #nb4nb #nblnb #wholesomeposting #yearning hours #ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense #so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me” #and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc #but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership #i think about this mostly in terms of ecology #and relation to land #but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers #like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs #but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while #and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well #when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else #its understood i just mean the city where i live #so why cant we apply the same to lovers? #mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again #ok #done now

[adriles]

when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess

#book 22 #im verh drunk #hi #greatest hits #not really sure why this one resonated. are u all ok #is everyone just at the shiva #yall need to stop saying you arent gonna eat then in the tags #i love that a lot of you are getting beautiful things out of this #but some of yall need to know i wrote this while incredibly drunk #this isnt meant to be all that deep this is just shitty iliad posting #more comments like this is just judaism. surprise surprise im jewish #but again this isnt about sitting shiva #this is me drunk talking about the last 3 books of the iliad #idk what to tell u man

[eclipseshotel]

#just let me love you #let’s talk about this #yautja #monster fucker

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area #so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying #even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations #now things are more calmed but damn #mind your own bussiness #i believe she knows more about herself than you #sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind #insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about” #or because they “just have to wait for the right person” #or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something” #i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself #and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one #aromantic #arospec #asexual #aroace #acespec

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

while we wait.

may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?

#i would like to Squeeze Him Full Strength #look at him!!! so proud that he tracked mud everywhere!!! what a good boy!!!! #listen listen. im a cat person. but barnaby..... #in my mind ms beagle is trying to be stern but hes just So Darn Cute #we are ms beagle pov #scribble garnish #welcome home #barnaby b beagle #welcome home puppet show #no okay but real talk the potential of barnaby's backstory has me close to tears #like hes just a little orphaned puppy... he was ORPHANED #WHAT A FUCKING DETAIL TO INCLUDE LIKE???? OWIE???? #did she find him in a waterlogged cardboard box in the rain... just a lil puppy abandoned by the roadside.... #OHHHHHH IM GONNA TEAR UP IF I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT #who would abandon such a sweet boy.... #listen im weak to animals #but im Especially weak to innocent lil bby animals who are abandoned/orphaned... #like theyre just little guys who deserve all the love in the world... pure and full of love... discarded.... #WAILING AND SOBBING AND EATING YARN LIKE SPAGHETTI

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF puppet and Michael Afton got beef,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #mike schmidt #the marionette #the puppet #charlie emily #fnaf #fnaf 2 #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #I don’t think the puppet likes Michael much pff #doesn’t hate him just knows what he did #I like how the puppet is seemingly more aware than most haunted animatronics #so it makes sense to me they’d talk so forwardly to the others #she’s mostly just joking and teasing here #I also think about how violent they were as lefty #so this blunt attitude + hostility in the games towards Michael #just adds to this personality #PUPPET MENTIONED 🔥🔥 #we love the puppet

[bbq-potato-chip]

Yeah man that’s crazy

#I love that u can talk to the yiga clan in totk. It’s so funny to me #Totk #totk spoilers #the legend of zelda: tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom #tloz #loz #link #my art #traditional art #1k

[astralpenguin]

self care is writing a fic that you’re literally the sole target audience for

#nobody was asking for a spn pmmm crossover fic focusing on claire at 14 #who by this point has already been manipulated into agreeing to something without knowing all the terms and conditions first #and it was awful and the worst day of her life #so when kyubey approaches her she doesn't go for it #but the people around her do and so claire gets to watch people she loves die horribly AGAIN #like there is nothing in spn canon that contradicts any of this #but literally nobody is wanting a fic like this to exist #nobody except for me #so i guess i have to do everything myself around here #el talks

[lylahammar]

While a lotta pipelines are dangerous and bad, the “ew furries are cringe and gross” → “I’m not a furry myself but I support them <3” → “I am a furry” pipeline is a beautiful thing full of love

#was just watchin footage of a furry convention and thinkin about how I’d love to go #and it made me laugh thinkin about how my high school self would react to that #lyla’s talking again

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[sapsolace]

obsessed w these boneheads as of late :]

#griddlehark #tlt #the locked tomb #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #gtn #when u and the situationship livin it up in a haunted palace... FO FREE!!!!! #i wanted 2 do a background 4 this but college and work have been kicking my ASS so #figured i should just post it and move on i got other sketches and wips #anyways hello tlt fans do not expect me 2 draw anything the same twice. love u <3 #in this kitchen we fuck it And we ball. no artistic sameness and we like it that way. i also serve food once a month #stay at your own risk #i've been going insane over tlt by myself on my side acc and the longer i have no one 2 talk abt nona grief with #the more art i will pop out. but also pls i need 2 talk abt this shit w someone i'm coughing and dying out here

[megalophobic-astronomer]

NO ONE TALK TO ME RN

#LITERALLY MY FUCKING FAVORITE OTH OUTFITS #I WAS SO SAD IT WASNT USED FOR THEIR OFFICIAL SPLAT3 FITS #BUT #OH MY GODDDDDD #YAAAAYYY #dont get me wrong i LOVE yhe space themed outfits and marinas suit is super sweets #BUT!???!?:!3!;! #DONT TALK TO ME RN #I FUCKING LOVE WOMEN FUCK #SPLATOON #SPRINGFEST #OFF THE HOOK #PEARL HOUZUKI #MARINA IDA #AAHAHHHHHH

[ashfdhfgdsfk]

which movies have you watched the most amount of times? they dont have to be your actual favorite movies, just the ones youve rewatched most. for example: mine are the final destination movies and scream

#mutuals especially i really want to know #a) because movie rec but b) because i feel like it says a lot about you as a person JSDHGFHJ #but fr i fuckign Love the final destination movies they are so much fun #and i used to play the first scream every time i cleaned my house lol i dont know why #txt #if no one reblogs this ill cry talk to me Boy