#talented than other people. it’s genuinely exhausting to be around you cuz all you do is brag or complain. everything is someone else’s

[vrisrezis]

Kokichi, kiibo, miu, kaede and perhaps kaito as well with an s/o that’s like ibuki? Loved ur Mikan one !

TYSM HAD FUN WRITIN FOR IT ! I also did rantaro cuz hehe I like him a lot

Rantaro likes the energy you bring, your style catches his eye almost immediately. Your first conversation was interesting, he found you .. well.. kinda enjoyable to be around. You didn’t think much of the situation you guys were put in at first. The more he spent time talking to you and being around you the more he liked you. He tried to understand you more as time went on, and he would learn that you were a very caring individual. You’d make him do exhausting exercises, which he thought you simply did because it’s what you always do. That’s partially true, but he finds out it’s also to help with his memory and figuring out his talent. He thinks it’s really.. sweet of you to do that for him and go through the effort for him. “I appreciate it, really. But.. it’s okay, yknow?” “Dawww… rantaro!” he feels some protectiveness of you, but that’s normal for him. However, he knows you’re smarter than you look and you certainly pick up on his protectiveness. He takes an interest in your talent, finds it … interesting when he finds out the reason you separated from your old band was due to creative differences .. and he finds out what those creative differences were. He always listens to you when you talk about your old band but he’s glad you don’t regret anything. The guy is secretly clingy, but even moreso upon finding out you’re a little lonely at times because of your separation with your band. You two always talk about being a music duo or something. “Hey maybe you could be the ultimate drummer! That’d be pretty awesome wouldnt it?!” “Yeah… heh.. would be a dream.” he to this day, is still in awe by how you can be so energetic at the most ungodly hours. “Good nom nom noming rantaro!!” “Good morning sweets…” he is one of the few people that recognizes your excellent hearing, as well as your many other useful talents and genuinely see it as useful outside of class trials. He likes hearing you talk about songs to write for and always tries to help.

Kaede loves your energy! You both become fast friends from the moment you meet, and hey you’re both into music! Different kinds, but still! Having a mutual interest is always good and makes for good conversation! You’re easy to talk to so you talk a lot! She spends a lot of her time with you since your energetic nature rubs off on her and she loves it! She so much more optimistic (somehow) with you around. “Good nom nom noming kaede!” “Ahh… good morning y/n..!” she likes to learn more about you, and she’s surprised to find you used to be a part of a band that you left, due to creative differences. Eventually she’d understand why, and just kinda laughs about it. Makes sense. But she’s glad you don’t regret anything within being in that group, but she understands the feeling of being alone. After all, not many shared her love for the piano. She probably offers working together on something for music but you both have very… different ideas. As a result she tries to help you when you’re coming up with new songs and lyrics. She likes your randomness and finds it to be amusing. “Hey kaede! Lemme bite ya!” “H-hey! Cmon!” she often talks to you about random things, but she truly cannot keep up with your crazy routine in the morning, she cannot understand how in the world your so full of energy so early and how you can do so much running and other forms of crazy exercise.

Miu is a bit rude to you for awhile, for a long time it’s just natural for her since you don’t seem to care at all and even ignore it and continue on. However, that’s what makes the two of you genuinely friends. Especially when you go out her way to interact with her more. She finds your energetic nature to be exhausting and she will go out her way to tell you that much. She will never participate in any crazy routine you have, but she may make an invention for you to do it while your sleeping. She will try to flirt with you, but when you flirt back she kinda crumbles. “Heh! looking good hot stuff!” “D’aww thanks babe! You’re smokin hot today!” “H-huhhhh! I-I mean! Of course I am!!” She absolutely loves your music by the way, she will willingly go to any of your concerts, and when you tell her you used to be a part of a band but left due to creative differences, she’s flabbergasted. “The fuck?! You’re way better than those bitches! Don’t even think about them!” you may find she’s also rather clingy in her own roundabout way. Even if you’re energetic at the most ungodly of hours. “Good mongrel miu!” “The fuck does that even mean?!” she acts like she cannot stand your random nature at times, but you understand her well enough to know that’s not accurate. “Heyyyy! Did you know that if you cross your eyes like this, it gives you double vision!” “As per usual you say the stupidest shit!” “Hey! Lemme bite ya!” “W-whaaa!!! S-save the kinky shit for the bedroom! U-unless you’re into exhibitionism… I don’t mind..”

Kokichi definitely likes you pretty quick, since you’re pretty easy to trust. He also finds it easy to tease you since he can trick you pretty easily. Or that’s what he thought for awhile, till he figured out you went along with a lot of his tricks simply because you wanted to try shit out. Probably because you knew you’d be fine, any normal person would be exhausted by the stuff he makes you do but for you it’s no problem! Color him surprised! Your energy makes you more physically capable! He teases you a bit, mainly for your music, but he won’t turn your loneliness and what happened with your band a joke, he just kinda jokes about how you’ll never be alone with him around, which isn’t really a lie. Although he may act annoyed by your energy at times, he’s just joking and actually likes your nature, it makes you not boring after all! You remind him of kaito but like… not annoying! Though he will admit he may get a little annoyed if you get off topic during a class trial lol. Your randomness for the most part is liked by him though. It just gives him an opportunity to be just as random. “Goooooood moooorning my dear!” “Good mongrel kokichi!” “WAAAA! WHY DONT I GET A CUTE PETNAME!! YOURE SO MEAN!!” “Hey!!! You’re actin totally crazy again! Those are fake tears!! Right???!” “D’aww how boring! You caught me..”

Kaito and you are unsurprisingly a good match and get along almost instantaneously. He loves your energy and he’s one of the few people that can match it at any time of the day! You two will work out and train together and hype eachother up constantly. Especially in the mornings or late at night since nobody else really does it with you two. Well other than maki! He may not LOVE your music like crazy but he’s supportive of it and tells you how awesome it is, and he helps you with your loneliness as well. He hates the idea of you feeling alone since he thinks you’re amazing! He also finds you’re extremely useful when it counts. You’re both your best selves when with one another. He’s always eager to see you and just doesn’t feel his best without you. “Good morning my dear!” “Good nom nom noming my beloved!” You are just that couple everyone knows about (and everyone’s annoyed by.) He likes how random you are and finds it amusing! For the most part, anyway. “Hey! Praise me praise me! I helped ya!” “Of course hun! You did great! You’re amazing!!” “Haha great! Now lemme bite ya!” “H-hey!!!” there’s been a couple times you’ve barged into his dorm, whether because he forgot to lock it or you asked him to unlock it. You come in at late hours just to bother him, or to spend some time with him. He truly doesn’t mind. He appreciates those rare times where you’re serious, it shows you care enough to be that way with him because you’re close.

Kiibo finds your energy to be quite different and on another level. As a robot he’s one of the few who can match up to your pace and he will admit for a human you’re abnormally energetic. He doesn’t mind it though, it’s part of the reason he was so interested in you to begin with. He finds that you’re pleasant to be around, so often he exercises with you when nobody else will, and likes listening to you talk about random things. He tries to remember specific things you prefer to talk about but honestly the stuff you talk about is always so random and they’re all unrelated to one another, it’s hard to keep up. However he will remember certain phrases you say, and may repeat them. “Good mongrel kiibo!” “Good nom nom noming y/n!” honestly to everyone else, it’s hard to tell if he’s saying it to appease you or if he doesn’t know the shit you say sometimes is absolute nonsense. At times, he tries to help you stay focused when it’s important, but for the most part likes your attitude. “Meoowwww!””y/n!! Please focus!” he’s pretty understanding of your situation with your old band as well, especially after he listens to your music, he doesn’t find it unpleasant but it definitely sounds… different. “Well.. whenever you get lonely, just know you always have me. I’ll always be by your side, I promise.” “D’aww! Thanks keebs! You’re the sweetest!”

#kiibo x reader #kaito momota x reader #kaito x reader #kokichi x reader #kokichi x y/n #kokichi ouma x reader #drv3 x reader #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa v3 x reader #danganronpa killing harmony x reader #rantaro amami x reader #rantaro x reader #kaede x reader #kaede akamatsu x reader #miu iruma x reader #miu x reader

[theswampghost]

sometimes, in theatre, you meet the most delightful people. other times, you meet living incarnations of the game of thrones finale.

#sorry i’m gonna rant for a hot sec #sir you know that if you post shit on your private story about the musical you’re in. then the ppl who are on your private story and in the #musical w you are gonna see it. you know that right. #like sorry it’s been one of the worst weeks of your life king??? you asked to do all this shit tho?? you ASKED to do all the costumes you #literally wanted to do this. and you don’t let anyone help you cuz you want everything done your way and you don’t trust anyone else like #jfc!!! and ig i’m sorry you don’t feel like you fit in??? but #maybe if you weren’t a self-absorbed know-it-all who trashtalks behind ppls backs then maybe people would like you more. just a thought #or if you listened to literally anyone else like king you ONLY think you’re always in the right and you never even consider the fact that #other people might be more knowledgeable than you. you’re painful to watch onstage cuz you don’t listen to directors and you do whatever tf #you want!! you think you know best and you DONT!! maybe you would feel more like you fit in if you were more humble and tried to better #yourself by listening to your teachers and directors but unfortunately you don’t!! maybe thats why people don’t like you it’s cuz you act #like you’re better than everyone else. maybe you would fit in if you didn’t isolate yourself by trying to prove that you’re better and more #talented than other people. it’s genuinely exhausting to be around you cuz all you do is brag or complain. everything is someone else’s #fault with you. you’ll talk to someone like you’re besties and then turn around and trash talk them to the next person. it’s excruciating #you literally try to control other people’s performances and interpretations of their characters. jesus christ #you tried to convince me you were better than terrence mann. TERRENCE FUCKING MANN. #somebody’s gonna punch you in the face one day and you will probably deserve it #lu.txt

[proud-mom85]

Moments from the Misha, Darius Zoom:

Darius: I WILL SAY THE FIRST THING ONE WANTS TO DO IN A ZOOM TO ESTABLISH DOMINANCE IS WHEN THE BACKGROUND CONTEST.

__________

MISHA: WE BOTH MOVED TO L.A. IN -- DARIUS: 99.

MISHA: DECEMBER OF 98, RIGHT BEFORE NEW YEAR'S. WE MOVED INTO THE SAME LITTLE, YOUR AUNT'S FRIEND'S HOUSE ON THE VENICE CANALS. YOUR WIFE WAS PREGNANT WITH YOUR FIRST CHILD AT THAT POINT AND MY WIFE AND I DID NOT KNOW IT AND WE WERE LIKE WHY ARE THEY SLEEPING ALL DAY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?

DARIUS: THERE WAS A GAS LEAK ALSO IN THE HOUSE. SO WE WERE ALL SLEEPING ALL DAY.

MISHA: THAT'S TRUE.

___________

MISHA: THERE WAS A TIME WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER WHEN I DON'T KNOW THAT I THERE WAS A TIME WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER WHEN I DON'T KNOW THAT I WOULD HAVE GENUINELY CELEBRATED YOUR SUCCESSES, BUT THERE WAS A TIME FOR YOU STARTED MAKING THE MOVIE "LOOT" THAT WAS YOUR FIRST BIG SUCCESSFUL PROJECT. I THINK IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING THAT I REMEMBER FEELING OVERWHELMED WITH SUPPORT AND JOY FOR YOU. I JUST WANTED YOU TO SEE THIS CREATIVE VISION THROUGH AND NOTHING WOULD HAVE MADE ME HAPPIER THAN IT TO BE SUCCESSFUL.

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DARIUS: I DON'T THINK I WOULD BE EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME PERSON HAD WE NOT BEEN FRIENDS...

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DARIUS: AND WE BOTH AUDITIONED FOR IT AND AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT, YOU ENDED UP IN THE LEAD ROLE OF THAT PLAY AND WITH ALL SINCERITY YOU DID AN INCREDIBLE JOB, LIKE IT WAS ONE OF THOSE MAGICAL, I THINK YOU WOULD AGREE, ONE OF THOSE MAGICAL SCHOOL PLAYS THAT JUST IS INCREDIBLY MEMORABLE. I STILL REMEMBER IT, JUST SITTING THERE AND ENJOYING IT AND WATCHING YOU KIND OF YOUR BEST. IN I REMEMBER THEN FEELING REALLY PROUD OF YOU. I REMEMBER SITTING AND WATCHING YOU ACT AND FEELING LIKE THIS IS WHAT THIS GUY IS HERE TO DO. BECAUSE YOU WERE ON STAGE AND IT WAS SO UNDENIABLE.

_____________

DARIUS: I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE HAD A PRETTY CLEAR CHANNEL OF SUPPORT FOR EACH OTHER ALL ALONG. AND I WILL SAY, HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR YOUR SUPPORT ALL THOSE YEARS MAKING SOUND OF METAL, I DON'T KNOW THAT I COULD'VE MADE IT. THAT'S HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS, THOSE WERE HARD YEARS COME ALONG, YOU KNOW, 10 YEARS OF FAITH IN A PROCESS THAT HAD NO PROOF OF CONCEPT. SO, YOU KNOW, I NEEDED THAT SUPPORT AND YOU WERE THERE MANY, MANY, MANY TIMES OVER. I REALLY HATE TO BE SINCERE WITH YOU, I FEEL LIKE IT FEELS WRONG BUT THAT IS THE TRUTH.

____________

DARIUS: ...BECAUSE HE AND I BOTH CAME FROM SO LITTLE. I DON'T THINK WE WERE THAT AFRAID TO HAVE LITTLE. I DON'T THINK WE WERE AFRAID TO SCRAPE THE BOTTOM AND KEEP SCRAPING THE BOTTOM AND SCRAPING THE BOTTOM A LITTLE MORE.

MISHA: I HAVE HAD AN INTERESTING RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT SCARCITY DYNAMIC BECAUSE ON THE ONE THING, WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS TRUE AND I ALWAYS IN MY HEART OF HEARTS KNOWN I WOULD BE OK WITH NOTHING, I WOULD BE OK LIVING IN A TENT IF I NEEDED TO. AND THAT KNOWLEDGE PROVIDES A PRETTY BIG SAFETY NET, BECAUSE YOU NEVER WALK AROUND FEELING LIKE I NEED THIS MONEY. I KNOW I'M GOING TO BE OK.

AT THE SAME TIME, COMING FROM POVERTY, I THINK THE ALLURE OF MONEY HAS BEEN MAYBE MORE POWERFUL THAN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR ME OTHERWISE. IF I HAD ALWAYS HAD MONEY, I MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN SO DRAWN INTO MAKING MONEY WHEN THAT OPPORTUNITY FINALLY CAME IN MY LIFE. AND I MAY HAVE MADE CHOICES THAT DIDN'T THAT WEREN'T QUITE SO DRIVEN BY MAKING MONEY, IF THAT MAKES SENSE. AS I'M GETTING OLDER, I AM ABLE TO FORMULATE THESE THOUGHTS AND RECALIBRATE TO AN EXTENT. BUT THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I WAS MAKING MONEY JUST FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING MONEY WHEN IT WASN'T REALLY ABOUT ANYTHING CREATIVE OR BIGGER THAN THAT, AND I THINK THAT WAS A LITTLE BIT ALSO RELATED TO HAVING COME FROM POVERTY.

DARIUS: THAT IS INTERESTING, I DON'T THINK YOU'VE EVER REALLY VOICED THAT TO ME, THAT SCARCITY MODEL YOU HAD WORKING THAT WAY. THAT MAKES SENSE ACTUALLY, AND I THINK PEOPLE KNOW THIS ABOUT YOU, BUT IT WA SA LEVEL OF POVERTY THAT WAS THREATENING. IT WASN'T LIKE WE WERE KIND OF POOR OR YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE CLASS SPECTRUM, YOU WERE IN A SERIOUS, SERIOUS LANDSCAPE OF POVERTY.

_______________

MISHA: IT'S FUNNY, FROM THE VANTAGE POINT OF CHILDHOOD, YOU TO ME IT LOOKED JUST AWASH IN MONEY. YOUR FAMILY WAS FUCKING LOADED. AND I REMEMBER YOUR DAD, ONCE EVERY THREE MONTHS OR SO WE WOULD ALL GO OUT TO PANDA EAST, WHICH IS BASICALLY THE CHEAPEST CHINESE RESTAURANT IN TOWN COME UP BUT TO ME IT WAS LIKE CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT WE ARE JUST GOING OUT AND ORDERING WHATEVER WE WANT AT THIS RESTAURANT? IT SEEMED SO OPULENT TO ME. IT'S REALLY AMAZING.

______________

MISHA: I REMEMBER DRIVING UP TO PUTNEY RIGHT AFTER I GOT MY DRIVERS LICENSE, I WAS 16 AND A HALF OR 17 AND DRIVING UP ON A SCHOOL NIGHT AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING JUST TO CHECK ON YOU, BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WERE KIND OF ON THE EDGE AT THAT POINT. YOU COULD HAVE EASILY NOT SURVIVED HIGH SCHOOL AND A COUPLE OF YEARS AFTER THAT. YOU WERE REALLY ON THE EDGE.

DARIUS: IT'S TRUE.

MISHA: YOU WOULD GO FOR DAYS WITHOUT SLEEPING, YOU WERE A PSYCHOLOGICAL MESS AT THAT POINT AND I DO REMEMBER GOING UP THERE AND WORRYING ABOUT YOU AND CHECKING ON YOU.

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DARIUS: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I HAVE FOUND THAT I HAVE NOT NEEDED YOU LESS AS I GOT OLDER.

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DARIUS: YEAH, SO, HERE IS THE THING ABOUT THE OSCARS. I HAVEN'T REALLY TALKED ABOUT THIS AT ALL. BUT THE OSCARS COINCIDED WITH - AS YOU KNOW, MISHA, COINCIDED WITH A REALLY CRAZY TIME FOR ME BECAUSE MY BEST HAVE A VERY SICK CHILD.

- BECAUSE I HAVE A VERY SICK CHILD. SO AROUND THE TIME OF THE TIME OF THE OSCARS, LEADING UP TO THE OSCARS IS MAYBE ONE OF THE DARKEST, MOST DIFFICULT TIMES OF MY LIFE DEFINITIVELY. AND YOU KNOW I HAVE HAD SOME DARK TIMES.

SO, SO OFTEN WE LOOK AT THESE THINGS AND IT LOOKS LIKE ONE THING. AND WE NEVER KNOW THE SUBPLOT THAT LIVES BEHIND IT, AND WE NEVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BEYOND THE IMAGE OF PERFECTNESS AND SUCCESS.

MISHA: I THINK THAT IS EXACERBATED IN THIS MOMENT IN OUR SOCIETY BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA, EVERYONE IS ALWAYS SHOWCASING THE MOST PERFECT VERSION OF THEIR WIVES AND FAMILIES.

AND OF COURSE, YOU WERE GOING THROUGH THE JUXTAPOSITION OF THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE, AND YOU ARE STILL GOING THROUGH THE HARD CHAPTER, APPARENT SUFFERING THROUGH A SICK CHILD AND WHAT YOUR CHILD IS GOING THROUGH IS JUST SO HARD AND SO HEARTBREAKING. AND TO HAVE THAT MOMENT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING TOWARD YOUR WHOLE LIFE, YOU JUST REACHED THE APEX OF YOUR CAREER, YOU MAY NEVER AGAIN BE AT THE OSCARS, AND ANYONE WHO EVER THINKS THEY ARE GOING TO WIND UP AT THE OSCARS IS DELUSIONAL, IT JUST DOESN'T WIND UP AT THE OSCARS IS DELUSIONAL, IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN. AND YET YOU HAVE FOUND YOURSELF THERE AT THIS INCREDIBLE TRIUMPHANT UNLIKELY MOMENT.

DARIUS: I DID ALWAYS KNOW I WOULD BE THERE BUT GO ON.

MISHA: AT THE SAME TIME YOU ARE SUFFERING THROUGH THE MOST EXHAUSTING AND MOST EMOTIONALLY DRAINING THING IMAGINABLE, AND IT WAS ALMOST LIKE A KIND OF CRUEL JOKE FROM THE UNIVERSE, IT SEEMED.

DARIUS: IT WAS THE CRUELEST DICHOTOMY. AND I THINK WHAT WAS IMPORTANT FOR ME AT THAT TIME IS I WAS NAVIGATING A LOT, PRESS, THE OSCARS, I WAS DIRECTING SOMETHING ELSE OF THE TIME, RUNNING BACK AND FORTH AT THE HOSPITAL, SLEEPING ON A HOSPITAL COT, DOING ALL THE STUFF, THAT I NEEDED SOMETHING NEAR ME THAT I UNDERSTOOD, YOU KNOW?

I NEEDED SOMEONE NEAR ME THAT I FELT GROUNDING RIGHT THEN. AND THAT WAS ACTUALLY THE TRUTH OF IT, IS LIKE, YOU ARE THE PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE -- FACE OF THE EARTH THAT I COULD CALL ON AT THAT MOMENT AND I NEEDED IT.

____________

These are some of the moments from the zoom. It was quite emotional as you can tell from the little bit of transcript I'm posting. You can tell how close these two are and how much they have been there for each other over the years, how well they know each other. They have one of those rare life long friendships.

I do wanna say this and I'm not saying it to be rude or anything but I remember there was a cameo that Misha did and he said he was helping a friend with a sick child and the person who bought the cameo got mad cuz their question wasn't answered and they said cruel things about Misha. Well, shame on you.

We may not have had this information at the time but you never assume when someone mentions a sick kid and don't mention how bad it is, it could be nothing or it could be something major like with Darius' kid. Misha could have not done the cameo at all but he did when he had his best friend and his best friends kid on his mind and was worried about. Shame on anyone who said mean things from that cameo. Misha always does the best he can for all of us.

Anyway, I hope we get to see more from these two in the future. They are both amazingly talented individuals.

#misha collins #darius marder #misha darius zoom #gish zoom #gish

[normal-thoughts-official]

At what exact moment do you think malec fall in love?that moment in 1×06 when Magnus uses Alec's strength and then falls down exhausted? It's such an underrated moment but one can write a whole essay on it

as a matter of fact, yes, i do believe it was the moment in 1.06 (there is a reason it is my header, after all) and im really glad u asked because its one of my favorite moments and Ive been thinking of making a post about it in forever but never got to it so [cracks knuckles]

well, actually, i think 1.06 was the moment magnus fell in love. i dont know when alec fell in love, to be honest - i think with him, it was just something that kind of settled and clicked into place, you know? there was that attraction and there was the fact that magnus was an amazing person who had amazing chemistry with alec and who fought for him and extended his hand and tried to comfort him without judgement when no one would really allow him to be himself - and who gave him a space to be more of him than any other. but i dont think there was a precise moment when it hit Alec, and suddenly he had fallen; i think he realised he loved magnus when he said he loved him, but at that point it was already cemented. alec is a steady, careful guy; when he falls, he falls hard and becomes an absolute imbecile but until then it kind of settles in slowly, lodges itself inside of him until its carefully in place, and he doesnt really know when it happened. honestly, i relate to that because that's how it works for me, too.

but with Magnus, it was a little different - he had closed himself off from love for centuries, and while obviously he only fell in love with alec because he was already on the pathway to recover and had been for a while now, sure and steady (alec is definitely the right person for him, but he also came at the right time, cuz if he hadnt Magnus wouldnt really be able to allow himself to give in to the obvious pull they had), breaking that kind of wall is hard and is, for many people, something that happens suddenly, all at once, like the crash of a tsunami wave; it kind of isnt there until it suddenly is, flooding out and filling you. and with magnus that's definitely what happened; he had a click moment, when suddenly his walls were down and he found himself feeling, despite himself

you can see a clear difference in how magnus treats alec in 1.04-05 and how he does in 1.06. in 1.04-05 hes flirty, yes, obviously interested, but hes doing it teasingly, playfully, confident in a way that is only possible when theres not much on the line. don't get me wrong, i dont think he was using alec or lying to him - that's not the kind of person Magnus is at all - i just think that it was harmless flirting and interest with not much at stake. he was keeping his kind of playboy, devil-may-care persona (with the exception of the moment when he told alec there was nothing to be ashamed of, because of course magnus "compulsive emotional support" bane would immediately drop the act when he sees someone struggle. ugh. and alec notices this, too, all right, he can see right through to the person magnus really is in that moment, even if he closes himself off). and that wasnt even just in front of Alec; the whole "playing hard to get, i love a challenge" thing was after alec had hung up, there was no one there, he was just talking to himself the dumb dork and it is clear there is not much at stake for him here; he isnt in love, so theres no chance of heartbreak

compare that to the way he acted during drinks with Alec in 1.06. its a completely different person. even in his posture, the way he looks at Alec and moves around him, his facial expressions, theres a softness and vulnerability that just wasnt there at any point before (did yall thank Harry Shum Jr for ur rights today? seriously the man is such a great actor his talent is unbelievable). and for magnus to allow himself to be vulnerable- well, that's big. that's what he was scared of, after all. that's what has brought him hurt and made him swear off romantic relationships for so long

and he says this; he opens up to alec, a person he barely knows, tells him a little about his past, tells Alec hes unlocked something in him. it's not harmless flirting anymore, its not just a mere pursuit of someone hes casually interested in; theres something way, way deeper going on, and this is abundantly clear throughout the whole scene and every single one of magnus' actions. magnus has fallen. this is serious now; hes feeling things he didnt even remember how to, and his entire demeanor changes.

and look, that's really important to me, okay, because i hate the whole love at first sight thing. so when i started watching sh, i was kind of turned off from malec because i was like "oh theyre gonna suddenly fall in love for no reason" but no. that's not what happened. they had attraction, and chemistry, yes, for sure, definitely, but the feelings that sparked inside of them were very much real and solid and built organically, even if quickly. malec is so powerful because their attraction and devotion to each other makes sense, and because their relationship is so trusting, happy, fun, and healthy.

so lets go to 1.06 - the defining moment, the big game changer for the both of them. i know the exact milisecond magnus falls in love - its this one

(gif isnt mine, i had it saved on my phone and dont remember who made it; if you do, please let me know so i can credit them)

bitch, you are seeing it happen!!! you're watching it, right now!! the way he looks up and his whole face changes; he goes from heavy breaths to these little puffs of air, looks up at alec in awe, and it's all over his face, the softness in his features, the open vulnerability hes showing for the very first time in the entire show - even when he was almost running out of magic, he still looked way more put together than he does in this moment; in here he is open, he has no masks, and hes absolutely soft and open and vulnerable. and you can see it dawn on him too, the realisation that he let alec in, just late enough for it to be too late. it's done. god, i cant fucking believe harry shum jr invented acting. like holy shit, dude

and alec sees it too; in this moment he looks down and he sees the vulnerability in magnus' face and he knows this is the real magnus; that's what he looks like without all the walls and masks, and it's just- beautiful. incredible. you can see the love and the softness inside of him and it's just so easy to find a home in those eyes of his, and ugh, i might be changing my mind, this was the moment alec fell in love too

but anygays, why now, right? what was the big gamechanger in this scene?

well, first of all, id like to stress again, just for good measure, that magnus was already well on his path to recovery from abuse and beginning to open up again; his journey through finding self love and strength to stand on his own feet and be able to open himself for others is his and his alone. alec could be his perfect match (and he is) (fuck it i dont care they are perfect for each other, i never really thought there was such a thing even in fictional couples but shit dude they really are as perfect as it gets, malec truly invented love its unbelievable) and it still wouldnt matter if magnus wasnt ready not only to open up, but to get in a relationship as his own person, and not putting himself down like with camille. of course, he still has a long way to go, and recovery is not a straight line, so he still does things like not tell him when hes hurt and downplay his own pain so as not to "annoy" him or whatever, but he is on equal ground. the very first thing that happens when they finally get together (after the whole wedding ordeal) is, they fight. because alec was being an asshole and treated magnus badly and was really rude and magnus was hurt and he was tired of always being the one to chase after Alec, and he told him that. that's extremely important, because it establishes that Magnus isnt just running after Alec or doing anything for him - he wants a mutually fulfilling relationship and hes willing to fight for it, demand it, not accept less than it. and that's fucking recovery right here, folks. it's so hard for previously abused people to do that. so hard. it still is hard for him, but hes doing it. so, again: Magnus' journey to opening up and finding space for a healthy relationship in his life is his and his alone. and they were lucky as shit to have met when they did.

so, with that being said: 1.06 (god, this answer is such a mess, im ndjdjdidicn). you can see magnus fall in love, right then and there. the moment it happens: when he falls, and realises Alec is still holding him, making sure hes steady. not just that, but holding his hand (despite that being totally unnecessary now), and asking him if he's okay.

it's really unsubtle symbolism (and i mean that in the best possible way): Alec holding him when he fell symbolizes support; holding his hand symbolizes caring, because he could just hold him as to not let him fall, but the fact that hes holding his hand shows that hes trying to support him not just physically, but emotionally; and asking if hes okay shows genuine worry and desire to listen to his needs. again, really unsubtle; but fuck it, that's also part of what makes it powerful, because when was the last time magnus had that, that open caring and supporting and reaching out for him? i mean, obviously Magnus has his friends who are amazing and great to him, but this feeling, of being cared for, so easily, so openly, so obviously, from someone who barely knows him, hell, from a shadowhunter - this is new. both because he hasnt really allowed it - after all, you need to fall for someone to catch you - and because he just. hasnt had that. every time before, when he showed vulnerability, he had his wounds open wide and used against him - with asmodeus after his mom, with Camille after whatever happened that made him consider suicide. and then suddenly this guy shows up, and Magnus didnt even mean to be vulnerable in front of him, not really, he was supposed to hold it, but he does and what he finds is just- caring. worrying. sweetness. a grounding presence and touch. alec is completely focused on him, and isnt rushing him to get back on his feet or anything - hes just holding him and being there for him. he wasnt even looking for it, and suddenly there it is - that trust and reciprocity hed been craving for so long.

and yeah, its unsubtle, but that's also there in more subtle ways; magnus asks for his help, and alec comes without questioning, even if he's mad with pretty much everyone involved. he asks Alec to give him his strength, and he does, openly, without walls - dude, that is so intimate, and you can see how easily the magic flows between them; that's something that can only happen so smoothly if the required trust is given without a second thought. alec is giving his life force to this guy, whom he barely knows, and he doesnt hold back at all - Magnus needs it, he gives it. easy, simple. trusting. an open, clear connection. hes worried about Magnus from the start; he gets in and his first reaction is yelling for magnus and kneeling beside him to make sure hes okay. hes already kind of holding magnus even before magnus falls; he puts himself in a position where hes kind of supporting magnus' weight, and just focuses on giving magnus what he needs. up to this point no one even bothered to ask magnus what he needs. and look, Alec isnt perfect, and he definitely still has his prejudices and ignorance at this point, but this is something special. having someone just give it their all to make sure ur okay, from the get-go, trusting you like that- that's not everyday. specially not for magnus. I think maybe Magnus wouldnt even have lowered his guard enough to have that stumble if Alec hadnt been so easily showing him hes in there together with him, as equals, without so much as a second thought- magnus' persona is polished. hes been through worse without stumbling both before and after. his guard was already down, because Alec had been showing himself to be trustworthy from the start.

and after that, it just keeps going. alec helps him clean up his apartment, without being asked, long after everyone else has already gone - he listens to Magnus talk about his past, attentively, without judgement. he even shows some vulnerability of his own - that fucked-stupid smile when magnus raised his hand to his lips, the glances he throws magnus' way, the way he even manages to talk a bit about his insecurities and confusion; hes opening himself up to Magnus, too. hes smitten. hes interested. the connection is established. he stays the night, and they end up talking all night long, despite the fact that Alec was called to work, and we dont even know about what. we know they are similarly competitive and have a good chemistry, so clearly this was a good, fun talk; but theres something running way deeper in there, too. magnus is showing alec a lot of himself, and alec is not only welcoming it, but reciprocating it as best as he can. that moment of spark isnt gone; it keeps growing, the bond that was formed gets stronger. at this point, Magnus has fallen (i firmly believe that he fell in that exact moment he looked up at Alec) but it gains shape and strength during that night and talk; its a little frustrating because Alec cant face what he wants, but the pull is real and strong enough for it to get stronger, the shapes clearer.

so- yeah. Magnus fell for Alec in 1.06, the moment he realised that he was willing to have his back, to see him as he was and welcome it and treat it with care; and to give him back in return. Magnus fell for Alec when he realised that, somehow, he had already formed the beginnings of a bond with him - the kind that's solid, that means trust and care and effort while also being easy, fun, nice. alec fell for magnus when he looked at him and saw someone that was also struggling with showing who he was, but who wasnt scared; someone who was kind, and good, and willing to listen to him and try to help him and who valued him. and that is so. fucking. important.

#ask #pastaownsmylife #sorry i got a little carried away but lets be real we all knew it would happen #im emo im dying squirtle #sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #meta #malec meta #magnus bane meta #sh meta #overflowing trashcan