#taking its toll. but still was like 'haha u should be fine'

[angelspenance]

(I couldn’t tell if it was stepping over a line to send you this ask and you do not need to post it, but-) I saw your personal post about struggling with being undiagnosed but feeling like something is Seriously Wrong even though doctors will tell you that you’re doing fine in school, and I wanted to let you know that your struggle is valid, and I’m sorry you’re not getting help and validation from ‘official sources.’ I like seeing you enjoy the things you like, and I followed you because I thought you were neat and had interesting things to say. I really hope that you can get the help you’re looking for and that you can get the sense, at least from me, that you’re valid and you aren’t alone

thank u this was a very nice ask to recieve :)

#asks #anon #im glad u enjoy me n my content & my passion for my interests! #my whole thing is that i Try to do things out of need to bc if i mess up i feel u know. worthless burdensome etc. #and since ive grown so used to hiding Everything when i tell ppl im. for lack of more specific terms. fucked in the head #they go 'no way haha i never wouldve guessed. cant relate. anyway' #like im competent out of need to be thanks to self worth issues but in reality just. everything hurts everyday #bc my poor mental health manifests in my body so i always have headaches and tight shoulders and back pain and i cant focus on anything #like the one thing i Did get diagnosed for was clinical depression and my doctor commented on how tight my shoulders were from my own mind #taking its toll. but still was like 'haha u should be fine' #and my parents dont want me on meds or anything and think im just being dramatic abt things and that technology is whats to blame for #everything about me and then dont listen to a word i say and get mad when i tell them how i feel so. there is That. #plus ive got a whole paranoia thing that nobody genuinely likes me thanks to having ex friends make a literal group hate chat about me #a few years ago and whenever ppl tell me that they appreciate me i feel like theyre lying even if i Know that theyre not and its just #a really weird feeling to shake. also ive got this thing where i wake up and i just feel innately Wrong? like ive literally woken up having #an anxiety attack and realized it hours later bc i have such a poor read on my own feelings bc ive been so detached from them for so long #like all ive got is 'something everything is wrong' 'full of love' 'i think im good rn' 'pain. suffering even' & 'intense fixation' #and this is like. the half of it #sorry abt the vent but ty for the ask it was rlly nice :') #wshdlf im so fucked in the head i find solace thru madoka magica </3