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#take my whole life too
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The night has a thousand eyes, And the day but one; Yet the light of the bright world dies With the dying sun. The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart but one; Yet the light of the whole life dies, When the love is done.
- Francis William Bourdillon
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i-like-the-eyes · 10 days
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lokiiied · 1 year
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what they should have played at the end of ep 2
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antisociallilbrat · 1 year
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Don’t mind me I’m just thinking about how at Stan and Bill’s wedding their first dance was definitely to “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis.
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theholyyuunoaduck1 · 2 years
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Take my hand
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morhath · 2 years
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hey (with the intention of cutting off your hand as punishment for sneaking around my castle, breaking into my bedroom, leaving taunting notes, etc. etc.)
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maggot-monger · 6 months
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there's never going to be a movie for my duology but just know that if there were the one that's the prequel to the other would end with credits rolling to "can't help falling in love" and it would be perfect and terribly disconcerting
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opossumkisses · 2 years
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dragonmuse · 2 years
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Obligatory au of the au of the au ask, what if faith didn’t die in mostly i hate the way i don’t hate you
(Is it obligatory if it doesn't feel like an obligation? Let's call this one 'take my whole life too')
-The path diverges thus: The night that Faith complains of a headache, Eddy is with them, a job cancelled, a flight missed. Eddy calls for the ambulance while Izzy stays with her, and then Eddy forces the EMTs to let Izzy go with her. Eddy is good in a crisis. It's precious seconds, minutes. And this time, no one is kicked out of the hospital room. When Izzy finally emerges, he goes straight to Eddy, tells her everything while he shakes with rage, fear, some toxic swirl. And she just reaches out. Doesn't quite mean to take his hand in theirs, but they do and they hold on until he breathes right again.
-So Faith lives and Eddy disappears. The threat of grief lingers sour in their mouth and they don’t come back for months. But they can’t stay away forever. Eddy’s never had friends like that and they’ve never been good at giving up on what’s theirs. 
-When they finally circle back, Faith and Izzy are gone. Eddy goes to Izzy’s house and the little sister very reluctantly hands over a note. It has an address and a directive in Faith’s pretty script: Come as soon as you can. We miss you.  
-Eddy goes. The apartment is in a shitty building with no real security, so she waltzes right in and up several flights of stairs. Their door is unremarkable, but when Eddy knocks and it opens, Faith is there with her closed-lip smile. 
“You’re late,” she said tartly and reached for their hand, drawing them inside. 
-It’s not a bad place considering how little they have. Tiny and dark, but there’s lovely purple curtains and a tie-dye bedspread. Izzy isn’t home and there’s nowhere to sit, but on the bed, so that’s where they both land. Faith doesn’t let go of Eddy’s hand. She tells Eddy all about leaving home and starting up here, how much she likes college and, 
“We’re getting married. Nothing big. We’ll just go to the courthouse.” 
“Oh,” Eddy looked down at their joined hands. “When?” 
“Depends. How long are you staying?” 
“I don’t have anywhere to be for a day or two.” More like a week, but Eddy’s not ready to commit to that. 
“Then tomorrow. We have the license. We were just waiting for you.” 
“Why?” They asked gruffly. 
“Because,” Faith gave her a look like she might be very dim. “You’re our friend. We want you there.” 
-Izzy came in an hour later, distracted apparently because it took him a full five seconds to realize that Faith wasn’t alone. He stared daggers at Eddy and they braced themselves for a fight. Then his face just relaxed and there was a smile, not big, but warm and real. 
“Thought you might be dead, asshole. Call next time.” 
“Yeah,” Eddy says vaguely, making no promises. 
-Izzy made them all dinner and the chicken was kind of burnt, but edible.  They go out after, walking around this new territory. It’s almost like nothings changed, except Faith and Izzy are both so much lighter. They’ve survived and made it out the other side. Faith keeps taking Eddy’s hand or tugging at their sleeve to show them something. She’s more at ease and less turned in. Izzy just walks like he’s just won a fight, proud and full of himself, but it's kind of endearing instead of annoying. Somehow, Eddy spends the night on their floor, when they have a perfectly fine bed at their own place. 
-They get someone’s last minute canceled appointment at the courthouse the next day. Faith wears a white dress with black flowers printed on it and Izzy puts on an outfit that must’ve been foisted on him for church at some point, all clean button down and slacks. Eddy just has what they were wearing, nothing particularly noteworthy. Both of them are way too short to be lending Eddy anything. 
But Faith takes down a gauzy scarf, the same material as the barely there purple curtains and drapes it over Eddy’s shoulder with a playful wink. Eddy, never one to backdown from a challenge, makes it into a scarf and it trails behind them the rest of the day.  They maybe never give it back and Faith never asks. 
The wedding is short and there aren’t even rings, just the little promise ring Faith already has and won’t take off even to pretend to exchange them. It’s the first wedding Eddy’s been to and it seems legit to her. After, they get lunch and eat it in a park. Eddy throws dried leaves at them both instead of rice and Izzy doesn’t even throw them back at them to busy grinning like a fool.
-Eddy can’t explain why they wind up at the apartment all the time. It’s small and quickly crowded with Faith’s thrift and curbside finds. But somehow their own place with much more room doesn’t appeal as much. And when they travel...sometimes they do call. Leave a message on their answering machine or gets lucky and someone picks up. Izzy doesn’t ask questions, but his voice softens when he hears who’s on the other line. Faith wants to chat and often Eddy can’t, so they play a game of ‘you get one question’ and Faith asks increasingly strange ones that Eddy thinks about the whole time she’s away.  Like “if you were a butterfly, what flower would you land on the most often” or “what’s your very first memory” or “what’s your favorite smell?’ 
-Izzy stops fighting. Stops stealing. He tells Eddy point blank about it when they’re alone in the apartment. 
“She said we got away so we didn’t have to hurt anymore,” Izzy flexed his hand slowly. It had been broken apparently, broken and healed in the time Eddy had been away. Sometimes jobs were so long she wondered if she lived in hotels, in the liminal spaces between reality. 
“So how will you make money?” 
“Dunno,” Izzy scrubbed at his face. “But she figured out some financial aid stuff. Got a job with the school. I guess I’ll just stock shelves until I find something else.” 
Eddy’s life doesn’t fit with theirs. She knows that.  She should go before she brings the ugliness to them. 
“You’re good at math. Don’t banks and shit need that?” 
“You need degrees for that,” Izzy said, uncertainly. 
“So get one.” 
Faith approved of that line of thinking as it turned out. Izzy took the slow route, concerned with their low funds, but he chipped away at his degree as Faith flew through hers. Eddy started stumbling over piles of boring textbooks when they came to visit. 
-It’s an ordinary enough night. Faith and Eddy are both a little stoned, Izzy out a night class when Faith tells Eddy, 
“I think I might like girls. And maybe not boys so much.” 
“Huh?” Eddy’s brain was mush at that point. 
“I’ve talked to Israel about it, but I met this girl and she kissed me and I liked it. And it made a lot of other things make sense. I felt awful, but I told him and he’s confused, but we decided to stay together.” 
“Okay,” Eddy blinked slowly. “Wait. You want to fuck girls?” 
“Yes,” Faith said tentatively. “I think so.” 
“But Izzy is not a girl.” 
“No,” she agreed. 
“But you’re not going to leave him?” 
“I love him,” Faith said with the perfect surety that Eddy had never understood. How’d you know that? How did it ground you so hard that it was something someone else could build a life on? “We’ll figure it out.” 
Eddy thought about Izzy’s eyes and how they alway found them. “Do you think Iz....” 
“Maybe. Probably. Don’t say anything to him though. He needs time to figure it out himself.” 
-Eddy thought about that a lot as she punched her way across Lima. Hornigold was on her case all the way through the job, micromanaging and being a dick about it. They had worked under him for five years and there was no end in site. 
- “It’s me,” they said into the phone late one night.  
“Hey, Eddy,” Izzy said softly. “You good?” 
“No,” they laughed brokenly. “I think maybe I hate my job.” 
“Yeah, tell me about it,” he grumbled. “But you can find another one if you wanted.” 
-Eddy could, actually. They considered their options and they went back to their own place for once when they came home. It was dull there, dusty and not the freedom they’d once hoped for when they’d started the lease. It was just a place. And the job was just another job. They could find another one. 
-They quit. They got a job working for a very legit security company and started working nights at a factory. It was boring as hell, but it was a start. They got off work at the same time Izzy got up, so they would meet at the gym most mornings. 
-Eddy’s lease came up and she considered her options, but there wasn’t much to consider. The crappy building had other crappy apartments and they moved in just one floor down. Faith gave her a jade vase as a housewarming present. Izzy made the first meal in the new, terrible, kitchen.
-When Izzy graduates, he gets a job at a very questionable construction company. Eddy sniffs around and buzzes and finally just asks, 
“Are you working for the mob?” 
“No. I work for a construction company,” Izzy says carefully. “Everything I do is very legal.” 
“...do they need security?” 
Eddy likes the new gig. They like her. She gets promoted pretty fast and winds up the security consultant for the firm, overseeing systems and installations as well as feet on the ground. It’s interesting and different for each new building and she never can prove if it’s the actual mob or not. They build real buildings and that’s all that matters. 
-Eddy meets Faith’s friends, a flock of mostly women and after some side eyeing, they find themselves folded in among them. They ask them along to lunches and lectures and art shows. Not all of it is Eddy’s thing, but they keep saying yes and going anyway. Faith always sticks to their side, often with a hand on their arm. Eddy chafed at first thinking Faith was doing it out some misplaced concern for their comfort, but afterwards Faith exhaled, 
“I’m so glad you’re with me. I know it’s silly, but I still get nervous around big groups, you know?” 
So that’s fine then. 
-Izzy and Faith do their anniversary with a nice night out every year usually, but for their tenth, they invite Eddy to come along with them on a trip. 
“Why?” Eddy stared at them. 
“There’s no us without you,” Izzy rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an ass about it.” 
-It’s not uncomfortable to travel with them. There’s no third wheel moment. At the end, they all decide to splurge on a fancy dinner (Izzy vets the restaurant and probably asks them fifty million questions, but Faith and Eddy purposely leave while he's doing it so there's no witnesses). Before they go out, Eddy means to trim up the beard. Just a snip. But it’s an impulse that makes them remove the whole thing. And then there’s a wee bit of a breakdown in a hotel bathroom. 
-They claim a migraine and don’t go with them after all. Izzy knocks on the way back and Eddy doesn’t mean to answer, but he’s so goddamn loud. Izzy has a box of food in his hands, but he sets it aside when he sees them. 
“What happened?” 
“Hand slipped?” 
And Izzy, easy as anything, Izzy who never touches anyone, but Faith, just reaches for them. Touches their face like it’s nothing it at all. 
“I like it.” 
Eddy kisses him. They don’t even really mean to. He’s just close and familiar and there. And Izzy kisses back, wraps a hand around the back of their neck to bring them in closer. 
“Faith-” Eddy starts. 
“Yeah, you’re right. Let me get her.” 
“Not what I was going to suggest.” 
Izzy just opens the door and goes across the hall to their hotel room, knocks once. “Hey, plan changed. C’mon, sweetheart, put your dancing shoes back on.” 
Faith is out in a twinkle and she’s across the hall in a blink. She sees Eddy and gasps and also just touches their face. People used to be scared of Eddy. That was a thing that had happened, right? 
“I love it,” Faith gushes. 
“I kissed Eddy,” Izzy informs her dryly. Eddy didn’t think that was how that had gone, actually.
“Oh!” Faith smiles wider and Eddy just stares blankly at them. “Can I kiss you?” 
“Uh- yes?” Eddy decides because sure, why not. What a fucking night. 
It’s not peck on the cheek. Faith is a lot more bold than Eddy would’ve ever counted on. And has pretty good balance when she’s up her toes. 
“We’re going to buy a house,” Faith says as she drops back to her feet. “On the train line. We were going to tell you tonight over dinner. And ask if you wanted to come with us.” 
Eddy casts a helpless look at Izzy who gave a sharp nod. There was red on his cheeks, the only blush Eddy had ever seen on him. 
“Haven’t picked the place yet,” Izzy said, probably attempting casual, but he wasn’t getting there. “We kept hoping you’d figure out what we were asking.” 
“My fault,” Faith said wryly. “I know you like things that were your idea first, but this one is probably a stretch.” 
“Back up,” Eddy said and Faith took a step backwards quickly. “No...not what I meant. Just...what am I missing here?”
“We love you,” Faith said plainly. “And if that’s just a platonic thing for the rest of forever, that’s fine. But if you want us, then we want that too.” 
“You’re not interested in men,” Eddy accused. 
“Correct,” Faith shrugged. “But you’re beautiful to me, the same way Israel is. You’re one of my favorite people.” 
“And you’re not interested in men,” Eddy turned on Izzy. 
“Says who?” Izzy challenged. 
“Says you?” Izzy shake his head.  “No?” 
“No,” Izzy confirmed. 
-It’s not the end of the conversation, but it is the start of something entirely new. Izzy is definitely attracted to her, Eddy discovers, and very eager to show them how much. Faith doesn’t participate, but she does stay and she does kiss. 
-House shopping is bizarre. Izzy gives his short list of wants to Faith and Eddy and tells them to get whatever else they want, along with a budget that blows Eddy’s mind. Apparently, Izzy has been squirreling away money from his ‘legal’ job for years and created a downpayment that will get a very comfortable place indeed. 
-They decide on a place that’s older, but in good shape. Eddy liked the style, Faith liked the gardens. Izzy approved the photos of the kitchen, the finished basement and the pool, so they’re off the races. 
-Eddy’s name goes on the mortgage alongside Izzy and Faith's. She didn’t know that was possible, but it’s never called into question. When Izzy refuses to take their money for the down payment, she puts it into the furniture, filling the house with beautiful things.  They each have a bedroom. Faith has the biggest despite her insistence she doesn’t need it. Izzy is in there with her most nights anyway and fairly often, Eddy is too. 
-Eddy goes shopping with Faith one afternoon for a dress Faith has to get for an event at work. It’s just a department store and nothing is that nice, but Eddy lingers over each item, wandering away. Faith eventually finds them and hands them a pretty light purple dress on a hanger. 
“That’s too long for you.” 
“Probably fit you,” she says lightly then drifts away to let Eddy process that. 
Eddy buys the dress. Faith is the one that does her eyeliner for the first time and dabs silver on her lids and kisses her with every bit of sincerity before painting on lipstick that’s tacky and waxy on Eddy’s lips and she never wants to take off. She kisses Izzy like that when he comes home and he makes no complaint about what smears over his mouth. 
-Eddy comes out and their life changes entirely and also not at all. The construction company is not the best place for it, but Izzy apparently warned someone high up that if they didn’t get their shit together Eddy and Izzy would be gone in a second. Izzy’s kept their books for a long time and Eddy is ruthlessly amazing at her job. It takes a lot of barking and correcting, but everyone falls in line. 
At home, her relationship with Faith shifts, somehow even more intimate than before. And then much more intimate. 
“I told you that I always thought you were beautiful,” when Eddy asks her what's changed. “And now I think you’re sexy too. Is that okay?” 
It was more than okay. 
- Izzy finds the Revenge, as unlikely as that might seem. He likes to plan dates, the same way he’d plan a hostile takeover: with way too much relish and spreadsheets. He figures drag bingo is something that would appeal to Faith and Eddy. It’s great fun, chaotic and obscene. And if Eddy maybe flirts with a queen that has a towering white wig, that’s fine. Faith’s been seeing this woman named Lydia,. Izzy sometimes goes to clubs with Eddy and they both make liberal use of the backrooms.   
-Eddy doesn’t exactly mean to go home with Stede, but she returns the next morning and maybe gushes a little. Faith smiles and Izzy frowns, but they don’t stop her from going back and back and back again. 
-Their world of three opens up. Stede comes to their house occasionally, compliments the decor and is an otherwise charming guest. Faith takes to him immediately and Izzy seems to find him annoying, but refuses to comment. 
“If you like him, I like him,” he grits out. 
“Very convincing. Oscar-worthy,” Eddy teases and Izzy laughs and doesn’t argue. 
-No one dislikes Lucius, even though arguably he’s less polite and has a tendency to spread across spaces that don’t technically belong to him. And look, Eddy loves Izzy, but he’s a lot and it’s way easier to share him around to spread that a lot thinner. Probably Izzy would say the same about them, but they try not to think about that too much. 
-“Do you love me because I saved your life?” Eddy asked Faith one night, years and years earlier. Asked that night that had been Faith and Izzy's tenth anniversary, and was now the mark of a new one. A day they would celebrate twice over ever after.
It was dark in the hotel room. Izzy was asleep on Eddy’s other side, the wheeze of his breath the only sound in the room.
“No,” Faith took Eddy’s hand in hers and held on tight. “I love you because you held his hand while I was dying. I love you because you came back to us after and stayed. I love that you could be dangerous and cold, but instead, you’re so kind, so good to me. To him.” 
Eddy thinks about that, the very last time she holds Faith’s hand, and makes sure that she takes Izzy’s after and leads him away to the life that she left behind for them both.
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killahmaria · 3 months
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for i cant helpp faling in love with youuuu
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anna-scribbles · 6 months
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last one i promise(<—lie)
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feelingdeath · 1 year
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Lately
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m so in love m so in love
At the lowest point, I feel the highest purely because I know ill be alright with him by my side. Can I please hide my insanity forever? I don't want him to go.
He's mine mine mine mine.
I'd do anything for him, anything with him, anything anything. Let's get matching tattoos, let's get pneumonia in the rain, let's show up late to work, I don't care I want you, I need you ahhhhh.
Meeting him feels like earth's air to an astronaut sailing far far away. I crave him it's pathetic yet m so full of ache and desire for his arms and his mind. His beautiful, beautiful mind. God, how I wish I was better, just a little bit more worthy.
M so stupid to hide me away from him and to think that he actually might like me back a sliver of how much I love him, there is no way it's so perfect, how can someone be so perfect. Perfectly molded for me.
M going to work so hard to be so samet and to make it up to him and my longings for him know no end.
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dfjaslkdfjasdlkjfsldkjfasldkjf
reading this fucking book is tearing my heart into shreds. on so many multibarbed levels. sniper oh sniper my love oh OS-- mycroft, 9A
such villains this work has! julia i could not be happy were you burned in a thousand suns, madame i would not see torn to bits and pissed on, and oh, oh dumb and deaf and blind humanity, i cannot--
what is this book that gives my heart to mycroft?
papa, MASON, saladin--oh saladin, were you not named for the Lion-hearted's rival? why will you be collared at all--Spain, Apollo, the every constalation of Utopia! my heart! my fucking heart!
ada palmer--did i ever meet her--i could not speak to her--she is forty years old and that is all the mercy i cry of her. i am young, maybe one day i will attain the base of the slopes that she has planted so breaktaking a flag on.
but such heights! such a world, such questions, such characters! ada, you would show me terry's completeness, his kindness, but leave in all the sharpness of humanity, its stupidity and wonderfullness.
lkajsdflkasdjflskadjfasdlkj
neil says i have to believe that by writing it i will set the world on fire. jesus cucking frist which part of the world has ada not set on fire yet? i would prefer to spread ada's almost at this point! instead of my own!
this is inline with my orginal impulse, which was me rolling back physically from ada's fucking gut punching, staring at the ceiling, and thinking should I offer myself sexually to this woman.
perfect one-for-one translation for my willingness to put myself down to bring her up. do you understand? my writer's soul is humilated into the fucking ground. i am awed into the fucking stars. i would rather someone read this book to understand her artistry than someone read anything of mine. do you understand what this means coming from an artist?
fucking hell ada just stab me already.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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WAKE UP!
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coffee-et-whiskey · 9 months
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I love that in every fic that I've ever read, wwx reaction to lwj's love never changes:
Lwj: *says anything remotely romantic*
Wwx: "Oh my God! I've been shot! How can you say such words and kill me! Have mercy on my poor heart!!!!!"
Lwj: *smiles lips tilt slightly upwards*
Wwx: *World ending. Mind crashing. Error-Error-Error. Unable to function for the next 30 minutes*
Lmao, love the Canon Dramatic evil-warlord boi.
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mattodore · 2 months
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i circle around you, a wild animal near a fire
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