Tumgik
#take me to the doctors because I can't afford it on my own and also she won't let me make my own appointments
etheries1015 · 3 months
Note
I had sort of a crack idea of what would the non-human twst boys do if their crush or s/o was allergic to them? Savanaclaw and Octonivelle with like the fur allergy and seafood allergy. Maybe diasomnia’s s/o has some sort of fairy allergy? Sorry if this is too silly for you to write, it’s alright if you don’t 😭
I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD A SIMILAR THOUGHT i'm allergic to cats and i'm like...man what am I gonna do around Grim BUAHAHA...this is a great idea. Nothing is too silly to write my friend!
Non-human Twst boys reacting to a S/O who is allergic to them!
featuring: Savanaclaw and Octavinelle!
general warnings: gender neutral reader, not really proof read \
TW: None! just fluff. and allergies.
Leona
The first time you sneezed around him, they didn't know it was literally BECAUSE of him. This was until you two took a nap together for the first time, and when you woke up he saw your face...Oh, brother. Your eyes were puffy and red, congested, and your nose leaked like nobody's business. He genuinely felt bad about this, but wouldn't let you in on his true feelings/emotions. Without understanding the cause (though he had an inkling) he immediately took you to the doctor.
"They're allergic to me? What kind of shitty nonsense is that?!"
Leona invested in the most expensive of healthcare for you. Allergy pills and whatnot, because he wasn't about to sacrifice his lovely naps with his significant other. No amount of allergy is gonna stop him from getting what he wants, and that is your affection.
Ruggie
"Sooo...basically you're saying you're allergic to me? Cause' im part heyena?"
"It's a little more complicated than that. It's more like...animal dander? I guess?" You didn't seem to certain in your answer either, it was more or less a guess since...well, there wasn't half beast half human where you are from. You can only make an educated guess on why you're so allergic to him based off of the information you had back at home.
Ruggie is honestly so sad about this. He can't afford to get you any treatments or medical help with this, so you two just have to be careful. He does manage to get his hands on some special washing products (probably legally) and takes extra care of what he eats, and how clean he his. He's consistently brushing his hair and cleaning his ears.
"Man i'm such a simp. What's wrong with me?!" ...He isn't used to bending backward for people. But seeing you so sick around him, hurt him even more than his pride, so he of course would do anything to make sure you're as comfortable around him as possible. Ahh...the power of love <3
Jack
He gives me the "I must stay away from you for your own good," Type. Although this doesn't last very long. Jack is incredibly loyal, and he's far too attached to let you go. There's times where he would try and keep a distance (much to your annoyance), but when you began sneezing and itching your eyes you knew he was somewhere nearby. Jack is protective like that, but it pains his heart to see you so sick because of something he cannot control.
He does both a mix of what Ruggie and Leona does. He took up extra part-time jobs to afford good allergy medication for you, the entire works. Pills, eye drops, nasal sprays, breathing treatments...He also invests in high-quality shampoo and conditioner to help rid of his dander and hopefully reduce the amount of shedding he has.
With the amount of hair Jack has, he is CONSTANTLY brushing it and it is CONSTANTLY shedding. He does EVERYTHING under the sun to control this, all for you. Although... this is a partnership! You told him that a relationship goes two ways. You love him regardless of how itchy you may get, and you equally chip in to problem-solve.
You're both loyal to each other until the very end, no matter what trivial matters may get in your way <3
Azul
He knew before you two started dating that you had a severe allergy to seafood, so he made it a point to avoid you. But...that didn't stop YOU from coming to HIM. It was one of the things that drew him towards you, the way even though you were gaining a rash you would still wrap your arms around the back of him. Although it wasn't as bad in his human form, he was always terrified what would happen if he were to unleash his original form.
But worry not! We are talking about the literal king of potionology. He finds a remedy very quickly, and you trust him...a little too fast. He is astonished when he says;
"Take this...the second you drink this your allergies will be something of the past. But be warned-" You grabbed it out of his hand and chugged it. He stared at you with his jaw slacked open, his face turning a deep shade of hot red when you throw yourself onto Azul and place a big fat kiss against his cheek.
He imploded. But hey! his potion worked! He tried to get you to give him some sort of paypack, but you mentioned that your form of payment was in that kiss.
He now demands kisses every time he makes the potion for you <3 It's kind of a silent agreement. He just stares at you after you're done drinking it, and whenever you feign ignorance the point upon his lips is far too obvious.
Jade
The first time you broke out in hives, he remained completely calm. Jade is rather smart, and he understands your allergy must be because of his disposition as a mer-folk. Although in human form, he couldn't help but notice the way you would hide your rashes either behind makeup or by bulking clothing. He was amused by this for a moment, but when he saw it worsen he couldn't help but become worried.
"Why would you go so far for me? what do you gain by allowing yourself to become sick?" When you replied with a blush that you simply liked Jade, thus his shock soon turned into action. He excused himself for a few days to climb mountains and collect the most effective of flowers and medicinal remedies for allergies and put together a potion that you were able to take to alleviate your symptoms.
He isn't the vice house warden for nothing! His talents and magic prowess truly aided him, albeit in a way that was seemingly selfish. It was all worth it for you, though.
But he does use you as an example during a class project in potionology, having you stand up in front of the class while he compares your allergies before and after taking the potion.
He got a 100% in the project. And a Significant other. A win-win for everyone!
Floyd
Floyd is much smarter than he lets on. The moment he hugs you from behind and touches your arm, he notices the rash right away. He eyed it with a frown, and without saying anything he let go of you much to your dismay, leaving you to your lonesome for a few days on end.
You had to admit you missed Floyd, his silly jokes and way of talking, his unpredictable personality, and the attention he would often give y you. While sitting at the table during a free period, your head was propped up against your hand and a sad sigh escaping your lips.
"Ehhhh? Why is shrimpy sitting here all alone? Didya miss me?" A familiar voice teased as arms wrapped around you and something akin to a vegetable drink set in front of you. You gasped and smile up at the tall male, who wasn't wrapping his arms around you as you were used to, typically ignoring the itching of your rashes. He convinced you to drink what he sat in front of you, and although you eyed it with suspicion, you sighed and drank it in one gulp and tightly shut eyes.
Nothing happened. You turned to look over at Floyd, about to question the purpose of making you drink the (surprisingly tasty) smoothie-like liquid but were quickly interrupted by lips pressing against your own.
The kiss caught you off guard and you began to panic, talking about your allergy...before you realized that nothing was happening. No rash, no itchiness, nothing.
"Seeeee? It's a potion. I made Azul make it for me. Now I can touch you as much as I want," He smiled proudly. However he managed to convince Azul would forever be beyond you...
He forgets to give you the potion sometimes, only when you two are cuddling and a rash or itching pops up do the both of you realize it's time for a dose.
Ya'll are so silly for each other <3
2K notes · View notes
clenastia · 2 years
Text
There was a girl on the train this morning with the CUTEST rainbow makeup, like, it actually looked good and let me tell you rainbow makeup is not generally flattering on humans in my opinion.
There’s probably a pride event going on somewhere today, but I’m too scared of humans to look for one. I wanted to tell her her makeup was really cool but I chickened out and probably annoyed her by constantly looking at it without actually saying anything and she probably thought I was staring.
...why am I such a wreck.
Also writing progress so far is a solid 0/10 someone pls let me know how long it takes on average for creativity to come back after depression steals it I don’t really want to have another 8-year hiatus because my inability to manage emotions stole my ability to write.
Maybe I should go browse some writing prompt sites, see if anything pokes at me. I don’t want today to be a complete failure like the past TWO MONTHS have been but. fuck.
How do you find good therapists again? My last therapist was a piece of shit who actually made my parents’ marriage WORSE (tho tbf it was pretty toxic to begin with) and certainly didn’t help ME any, mostly just made me feel like everything was MY fault because I was ‘foolish’ and ‘misguided’ and would only get better if I ‘spoke earnestly to god and accepted my mistakes’-
okay so like I know christian therapists are all shitbags not worth the fucking shitty ass couches in their offices but like. I know there’s bad NON-CHRISTIAN therapists too so how do you find the GOOD ones? pretty sure another bad therapist at this point would send me straight to suicide.
0 notes
Text
This post is a shout out to all my chronically ill friends ❤️
"If you are in that much pain just go to the emergency room" 🤣🤣🤣 no, just no. The ER does not do what most people think it does. It exists for people who need to be stitched up or suddenly broke a bone. They do NOTHING for pain management and actually will verbally harass patients for going in and wasting their time. I know. I've been one of those patients harassed by the people who are supposed to help me.
"They gave you a referral to a specialist right? Are they going to see you next week then?" - it took 3 months for me to get an appointment with Neurology after getting the referral. Genetics took 2 months, cardiology was a month, and I'm still waiting to hear back from St. Louis about seeing a neurologist there (that referral was put in on August 9th). It takes months to get in to see these doctors, then they spend about 5 minutes (10 if you're lucky!) talking OVER you. Every visit is a fight against the doctors ego to see if you will actually get help this time.
"Maybe you should go to Mayo Clinic or some other place out of state!" - cool, who is going to take me? Who is going to take a few weeks out of their own life to drive me there and stay with me while the doctors do their thing? I can't see so I can't drive myself. I haven't worked since July because of being sick, so I can't afford a ride or place to stay.
"Can't you go a couple days without medication? I know the pharmacy ran out, but it really can't be that big of a deal right?" - I don't even know how to respond to this one. Seriously? The doctor put me on the meds for a reason. Most of them have serious and dangerous side effects when you go through withdrawal. Also depending on how long I'm without them, I have to start back at a lower dose and work back up to the dose I was originally on. Which means TWO prescriptions that I now have to pay for.
"Do you really need to bring your walker/cane with? It's annoying to try and get it in and out of the vehicle. Plus it just slows us down" - do you really need your legs with? It's annoying having to wait for you to put your shoes on. Plus when you wear those specific shoes you walk weird. If you can't stand someone using a mobility aid to help them get around then go find a new group of friends to do things with. I have just as much of a right to be able to go out and enjoy things as anyone else.
There are plenty more things I could add to this post but I'm exhausted.
234 notes · View notes
persage · 1 year
Text
CARETAKER- S. HARRINGTON
Steve Harrington x Sick! Reader
Summary : When Steve hears that you're sick and you've gone to work anyway, he comes to pick you up, take you home and put his nursing skills to the test. He loves taking care of you, but sometimes you make it difficult
Tumblr media
Words Count: 2.3k
Tags: Steve Harrington x Sick! Reader, just Fluff and Steve being the best nurse in the world and an overprotective boyfriend
Thanks again to @loving-and-dreaming for the amazing ideas!
For all the years Steve Harrington has known you - which are way too many to be honest- you've always been careless with your health. There's always something more important: homeworks and school projects first, monsters and fights then. Anyway being selfless is what you and Steve have in common, he understands you and he knows how to keep an eye on you without you noticing, cause you get mad everytime someone, and more specifically him, tries to take care of you.
"I don't need a babysitter Harrington, I am the babysitter."
So Steve has learned to understand the way your body react to pain and stress, when you close your eyes as you get up he knows your knee is giving you trouble and when you ask him to open something for you is because the arm you broke years ago in the Byers house, against the stupid demodog, still hurts when the weather changes. But you know Steve too and you care about him of course, he has been you neighbor since you have arrived in Hawkins, when you were just a child, he was just the spoiled kid from the biggest house in the city and now  he's your boyfriend and partner in crime. You bring him food when he says he's home alone cause you think he will let himself starve, not that he can't cook - to be fair he is really good at it- but he can be lazy sometimes and prefers stays on the chouch slowly dying. You always make sure he brings his jacket with him, cause his stupid brain won't understand the temperature outside can be very different from the one inside the house and he will get sick. Also you take him to the doctor, even against his will, everytime he gets hit on his head and stay with him the night to keep him awake when he has concussions. You're pretty good at this, making sure he always comes first. He is your priority and it infuriates him of course, 'cause Steve Harrington doesn't think he deserves any of this and you don't let him do the same for you. Which is why - against his own nature- he had became more observant in the first place.
But this time he misses it.
It's Max that tells him as she enters the Family Video holding hands with Lucas, cause they need a movie for their date night. "So uh, have you seen y/n this morning at all?" Something in the girl's voice makes him turn sharply and almost knocks over the pile of boxes he was tidying up. Almost, because Robin comes to avert disaster.
Truth is you've been working really hard lately, being a babysitter and also taking shifts at Enzo's during lunches and dinners you don't have time to really rest. Steve has been doing the same thing, working as much as he can so you can afford living together so no, he hasn't seen you this morning, he just left something to eat for breakfast outside your door before going to work.
"What's wrong with her? " He asks.
"Nothing's wrong!  She was just asking!" A not so calm Lucas replies. Max glares at him. "Lucas, just tell me what my stupid, stupid girlfriend has done this time."
"She hasn't done anything at all. It's that we saw her babysitting Holly Wheeler this morning and we noticed  she was coughing...a bit."  Max explains. Steve raises an eyebrow at that
"Okay, fine, a lot." Lucas confesses, this time Max nudges him. Steve shakes his head. "Stupid, stubborn foolish girl!" He mutters. Robin places a hand on his shoulder.
"You're overreacting dingus" But as if he hadn't even heard her, Steve continues. "Cover me Rob. I have to reach y/n and take her home, then I'll come back. I swear" He doesn't even wait for her answer. Steve runs away.
He finds you at Enzo ready for the lunch shift, trying to carry a big table on your own, face red from fatigue. He stops before he can call your nome and just observes you torturing yourself and gets to see you drop the table on the ground andlean on it, coughing violently. "Are going to kill yourself?" When you hears Steve's voice you turn around and the minute you see his face, you know you are in deep trouble. Sometimes he tend to get a little overprotective, treating you like one of his children.
"Hey! What are you doing here?" You aks, trying to see something different in his face than the judgmental expression of a mother ready to lecture you. He doesn't answer, simply approaches you and puts his hand on your forehead. You try to stifle another cough and shake him off, but end up leaning on your knees with your body shaking violently. Steve holds you, caressing your back gently. "Home! Now!" He orders, his tone sweet but still doesn't allow replies
"But I have to finish-"
"No you don't, I'll talk to Enzo. Now get in the car and turn on the heating." He takes you home quickly and even if you don't need it he carries you from the car to your own room, after making sure that no one is at home. "Where are your parents?"
"Dad has the long shift, he'll be back tonight. Mom's out of town" And so Steve calls Robin, to warn her that he won't be able to work the afternoon shift.
You feel your exhausted body sinking into the mattress, lighter than air, as your vision grows spotted. You feel sicker than ever, your head weighs as if you have stones inside and burns like hell but you feel cold, at the same time: fingers, legs, arms, torso, it's all frozen. You groan, rolling on your side and closing your eyes as you hear Steve's steps.
"Baby. I'm gonna die today. Remember I love you and my collection of VHS is yours" Steve smiles, sitting near you and putting a hand on your forehead.
"Oh love, how sweet of you" He replies,  "Why were you still working?" He asks with a slight tone of reproach. One of his hands slides up your neck and then your back, the other one brushes your hair away from your forehead, then lightly caresses one of your cheeks. He starts rubbing circles over your back and it feels like paradise. "We need money, you know my amazing boyfriend and I... we want to find a place of our own and he.. He is working so much, he is doing his best  for our future together. I want to do it too, if I could I'd even get three jobs. For him. For us. " You answer, smiling. Thank goodness you have your eyes closed and you're probably delirious with fever, otherwise you'd notice Steve's eyes watering and the little tear that escapes his control. Sometimes the way you love him  unconditionally, moves him. For someone who's not used to be anyone's priority, your love is overwhelming  and he doesn't know what he's done to deserve it. Steve's touches reminds you of your childhood, the way your dad used to take care of you, telling stories about monsters and children fighting the evil, but now these aren't just stories and kids aren't just kids and you don't like hearing stuff like that anymore. And your father doesn't take care of you like before, he doesn't do it out of malice, it's just his new job that takes him away from you for a long time and you know he is suffering too. You don't blame him, but you miss him. Luckily Steve is with you to ease the loneliness.
"Hang in there, love" Your boyfriend murmures softly in your ear, placing a kiss on your cheeks, continuing to rub your back tenderly. Hide behind his words you can feel his concern, he's overprotective as always. "You are burning up, I need you to take this baby" He passes you a pill and you shake your head The movement makes you nauseous and you don't want anything, you feel so tired and sore that you are afraid a single change around you could kill you. 
"Let me here to die" you grumble dramatically.
"Then who will take care of me when I'm sick?" Steve jokes, smiling at you sweetly. The sentence makes you think, you open your eyes and look at him worried.
"What's up?"
"You have to stay away from me" You say, your teeth chattering in the cold as he adjusts the blanket around you better. "I'm not kidding, you could get sick too"
"Dont worry about me love, You just need to rest. " He tells you and in your feverish delirioum you hold his hands and you let go, falling into a deep sleep.
When you wake up an hour and a half later, Steve is in the same position, holding a hand on your forehead and watching over you like your guardian angel. You would like to tell him he shouldn't be here with you, but the truth is the feeling of being cared for is foreign enough to make you crave it in a way you didn't know you could. You cough again your poor lungs out, trying to cover your mouth so as not to contaminate Steve, then sneeze repeatedly. He shakes his head, handing you a glass of water and supporting your back so you can drink comfortably. "And you thought you could work like this? You should be more attentive to your health." "Ohhh Still with this story? Don't be exaggerated, I'm not that bad. Also I was fine before you came at Enzo's" You reply stubbornly, raising an arm to push him away with a huff.
"You were already burning up and you wouldn't even think to come to me. I'm not a good boyfriend? You don't trust me as a nurse? I'm an excellent nurse, that's my job" He has a harsh tone, he wants you to understand that you really have to take care of yourself, today is a fever, tomorrow something else. Steve would like you to be your priority not only his. "Why do you have to be so dramatic! It's just a cold."  Your voice has a strange tone, it's hoarse from the cough, vaguely funny. Steve smiles. He can't be mad at you especially as you disappear into the blanket, curled up on yourself, like a child in need of care. And no matter how much you deny it, you need him and he wants to be there. "Come on Steve seriously maybe there's a chance I didn't pass you my lousy germs. Save yourself. Go away. Think about you my love"
"No way, I need to keep an eye on you."
"Steven Harold Harrington, You're acting like I'm five."
"Don't use my full name on me y/n, also You've been acting like you're five all day." Then after a minute of silence. "How long has this been going on?" He asks more seriously, as you peek out from under the covers to make eye contact with him. You are not even interested in the fact that you are not as beautiful as you would like, that you have dirty hair, swollen red shiny eyes and a pale skin, his steady gaze on you is so full of adoration and devotion that you do not believe it is humanly possible for some eyes express so much love without saying a single word, without moving a muscle, in just one simple glance.
"It was just a sore throat yesterday. I only started coughing this morning and then I was cold, shivering a lot, but I didn't... I didn't want to take my temperature. If you don't know, you don't have to stay home from work" Steve shakes his head and remembers the last few days, he should have been more careful because it's clear you're lying now and it's clear that when you said you were tired in the past few days, you weren't just tired.
"Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid. I mean yes I am, but not that much. You must've been feeling bad for at least a few days." You avoid his look "I hate it when you do this" He whispers lying next to you.
"I haven't done anything. You're just overreacting because you love me too much"
"Please y/nyou are the one who underestimates everything. And yes, I love you too much and I would like to grow old with you, but if you continue to behave like an unconscious foolish child you will make me die of a heart attack at thirty and you will break my dreams"
You laugh. "You're a Drama Queen"
"No you don't understand, today is just the fever and yesterday were demogorgons and tomorrow who knows? You always do it, not taking care of yourself, it scares me"
You hold his hand and after a moment of silence, with all the sincerity, you reply.
"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry" You are interrupted by a cough. "I've never seen it this way. I've never thought about the impact my actions can have on you. I'm so selfish. "
"No, you are the opposite of selfish. But you are right about one thing I love you too much. And now I'm going to get you some iboprufen to take down the fever." He gets out of bed and places a kiss on your forehead. "I need my girlfriend to be okay"
"I hate meds" You whine and moan.
"You are just a little girl"
"Thanks, my hero." But before he can leave the room you call him. "Steve" He turns around, smiles and you think that you don't want anything more than this for your whole life. Steve Harrington and you, your house, you dreams. The everyday life that becomes extraordinary next to the right person. "I'm sorry I said you were overreacting." You state.
"I love you too, y/n."
1K notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
"Mɪᴛᴄʜᴇʟʟ Esᴛᴀᴛᴇs" - Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ
Divders (In each Chapter) by @firefly-graphics & @cafekitsune
Tumblr media
Hello! This is the Masterlist page for my 17-part Ewanverse Series titled: Mitchell Apartments! This series includes 11 of Ewan's most prominent characters and does take place in the modern world!
Summary: You manage to finally get an apartment, the rent isn't cheap and you know you'll have to overwork yourself to afford it but you have no other choice. You can't go home and you can't afford to go anywhere else. It's quiet and lonely in the beginning but you soon make some connections with the other tenants, and you manage to get yourself into some trouble too.
Can you survive living in this new area? Or will you be packing up and moving before the year's up? What could go wrong? They just want to be friendly.
Fandom(s): House of The Dragon, Salad Days, Grantchester, The Halycon, Fire, World on Fire, Saltburn, The Las Kingdom, Trigger Point, High Life, and Doctors
Warnings: These fics will include dubcon, manipulation, & violence More specific warnings will be added to individual chapters! 18+ only fic!
If you wish to be added to the taglist please comment on this!
Tumblr media
Chapter 1: "Moving In"
Chapter 2: "Bitter" (Will x Reader)
Chapter 3: "Babysitter" (03/16)
Chapter 4: "Gentle" (Jack x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 5: "Confident" (Billy Washington x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 6: "Trouble in Paradise" (TBD)
Chapter 7: "Filthy" (Abraham x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 8: "Good Boy" (Osferth x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 9: "New Beginning" (TBD)
Chapter 10: "Date Night" (Tom Bennett x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 11: "Good Neighbor" (Aemond Targaryen x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 12: "Pop Quiz" (TBD)
Chapter 13: "Flustered" (Billy Taylor x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 14: "Nerd" (Micheal Gavey x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 15: "Laundry" (TBD)
Chapter 16: "Easy Money" (Genyen x Reader) (TBD)
Chapter 17: "Rent" (Ettore x Reader) (TBD)
Tumblr media
A/N: If not mentioned in chapters I wish to reiterate something. All characters that partake in any sexual content (even fluff) are 18+. No one is underage. If you as a reader are underage I beg of you to not read this! If I knew how to sniff you guys out and block you I would.
If you decide to not listen to me please understand you are responsible for your own consumption. No Parents should be attempting to get my account taken down because of your choices!
PLEASE READ: I would also like to say. These stories are not meant to be taken any specific way. I say this because I worry how people will react to her sleeping with ALL of her neighbors. This was honestly just for funsies and if I see any serious slut shaming comments you're getting blocked.
Honourable Mentions: @thought--bubble Jess is honestly the whole reason I started writing in the first place! Her Kitty Cat Series inspired me to write my own Ettore fic which has led me here today. Thank you Jess for feeding my delusions and being a source of inspiration!
MaximumWill (NSFW! LINKS) Patreon & Soundgasm You guys may think this is odd...but I gotta credit him. I do not believe he has Tumblr but I have linked to his patreon. He is an 18+ audio maker...(if you know what I mean 😏🍆) He is the inspiration for the Micheal Chapter with this audio & the inspiration for this ENTIRE series + the Ettore chapter with this audio. (Please do not judge me...Im already ashamed🫠🫣)
Tumblr media
103 notes · View notes
trek-tracks · 2 months
Note
hello! I am also diabetic (type one). I’m curious if when you think of star trek or yourself in Star Trek if you imagine having diabetes still? I think either way is valid, just curious. I go back and forth trying to figure out if they would have cured it or just advanced insulin pumps to the point of being practically seamless with day to day life. For me being diabetic is so integral to my personality I kind of don’t know if I would like to think of it as being cured? It’s cool if you don’t want to answer too! Just thought I’d ask :)
This is an interesting question.
I've always thought about my type one diabetes as being solidly on the second end of the disability "spectrum," so to speak, where the first end is "this is integral to my personality and who I am, accommodate but do not 'cure' me," and the second is "this brings nothing but pain to my life, please cure me immediately."
The only accommodation that would fully make my life better, in my opinion, (which is only my opinion about my own disability), is either a functional cure (artificial pancreas) or actual cure (no machinery necessary), the latter of which I would prefer, because frankly I'm sick of wearing a pump and a cgm 24/7 and the sheer amount of waste it produces, which is not my fault because I need to live, but still weighs heavily on me (and takes up a large amount of space in my apartment). Not to mention the scheduling--this message brought to you by me being woken up at 5am by an empty insulin pump and realizing that, no, I don't seem to have any unused cartridges left, so I have to use an old one and pray that the pump accepts it while waiting for the delivery of the supplies I just now ordered, which cost $750.
When I think about a life in the Star Trek universe, I can really only think about being transferred there now, as I am, with the life I have led, and I think that's what also shapes my decision. If I had been born into the Star Trek universe, there are so many aspects of my personality that might have been different, considering I wouldn't have to worry about scarcity and affordability of, for example, housing. Instead of being a theatre critic as a second job that feeds my soul but doesn't pay the bills, I'd probably be a playwright/dramaturg/critic full time. However, I might find not having a job outside of the theatre world to be detrimental, because when people don't have lives outside of theatre, their writing tends to get smaller and more insular.
This is a digression, but what I mean is: I can only see me as I am now joining a Starfleet world, rather than trying to envision the person I would be if I'd begun my life there. I mean, I certainly wouldn't be known for making memes about Star Trek, the TV show, if Star Trek were reality instead of entertainment, so things would be different in a number of ways. I can't even think about all the ways my life could have been different in this reality without getting a headache.
In that case, I have learned a lot from being diabetic, including patience and empathy for other people, and a strong sense of social justice. I've learned a lot about food and exercise and how they affect the body. I've learned responsibility and self-management. I've made more peace with aging than many of my friends, because I've felt prematurely "old" (aches, pains, contemplation of mortality) since I was a preteen. I think I would have some form of these things without diabetes, but my worldview would likely be different. In a way, I'm grateful for these lessons, and I don't know if born-into-Star-Trek me would be insufferable.
That being said, I firmly believe that having diabetes for more than 25 years means that diabetes has taught me all about life it's going to teach me. I'm done. If I were to wake up tomorrow without it, I'd, in the words of Beyond McCoy, "throw a party." A party with plenty of cake. Or, to misquote The Voyage Home, "The doctor gave me a pill, and I grew a new pancreas!"
Now that it's part of me, its absence might leave me somewhat adrift, but I think of all the time I've lost to it where I could have been enjoying life and been allowed to be the unfettered me I desired to be, and I say, good riddance.
62 notes · View notes
Note
AITA for the way I help my boyfriends mom?
Background: my bfs (26M) mom is in decline with Parkinson's Disease, she has the usual progression (you can Google it, explaining it all here would be a lot) but part of that is cognitive decline because Parkinson's affects the brain not just the body. My bf was recently made power of attorney medically because of that decline & they couldn't be confident she could be in charge of her own medical decisions anymore.
We also recently moved in with his parents because they're low income and can't afford home aids for her so my bf and I do what we can to help through the days and nights since his father is also elderly and with his own health issues. I spend a lot of time with her, I love his mom just as if she was my mom and it infuriates me how they all step over her and completely disregard her wants and needs just because she has those cognitive issues and excuse it as "she's senile you can't be listening to her she just doesn't want to do what the doctors tell her to do". The poor woman doesn't even get to decide for herself what she eats in a day, what gets put on the tv, or what she can wear. I know that contributes profoundly to the depression she feels, and previously I tried very gently to tell them both that they should make more of an effort to give her some control, even if it's just menial stuff it has a profound impact for her.
They completely ignored that, and if anything have taken even the last scraps of dignity from her. It breaks my heart when she asks even for a little piece of chocolate to have with her dinner and they refuse so coldly. I sneak her things here and there, a little blush that I put on her when we're home alone so she can feel beautiful still, chocolate she can eat in bed while watching whatever she tells me she wants on tv, even sneaking some of her most requested dinners like popeyes chicken if I know it'll be just the two of us.
The other day my bf found out and confronted me, saying I was spoiling her and making it difficult for them because "she's already combative and refuses to do anything". She's "combative" because they trample over her on every little thing but when I said that it turned into a bigger argument. Then it became about "taking sides" and if I was really going to get roped in by a senile old woman and go behind everyone's backs to help her ignore the doctors orders.
I haven't spoken to him at all today because I just don't understand how trying to give her some happiness in her days is such a bad thing, and otherwise we all do make sure the specialists recommendations are followed. I just believe everyone deserves to have even tiny spots of joy in a day, no matter if they're senile or not.
So am I really an asshole and just being manipulated into helping break doctors orders?
What are these acronyms?
189 notes · View notes
dovesndecay · 11 months
Text
One of the struggles I've had in coping with my fibromyalgia really is that I was always encouraged, from childhood, to "move with purpose".
It was always framed by adults as something of a safety thing they encouraged when I started going out on my own when I hit teenager years, and the idea that a person who looks like someone is waiting on them is less likely to get messed with by someone else and their potentially nefarious intentions.
Now, I'm 5'3", and I have short little legs, okay? Even when I thought I was able-bodied, I had to push myself to move as fast as everyone around me. I got used to heaving breaths, painful hips, and lower back pain, over the years. My years of working in breakneck paced fast food did not help this.
This has led to some of the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life, and my former gallbladder used to generate large enough stones that even my doctor was impressed at the size.
So I'm learning how to pace myself, to force myself to walk slowly, and take my time getting from point A to B without crippling myself on the way there. If I go to Walmart, alone, without any kind of responsibilities afterward, why the fuck am I trying to powerwalk my way through the giant store as if I will be accosted for taking my time? As if I will be scolded for not putting enough energy into my movement?
My simmering fear of someday needing a wheelchair has been pretty high in my head lately, simply because it's a need that I can't afford to have. I can't afford the things I need now, and I do not live in an area that is wheelchair-friendly (do those exist? surely they must? *cries in capitalism*). I'm trying to be kinder to my body, because I deserve to be treated kindly and also to hopefully extend the life of what little physical ability I have left.
87 notes · View notes
pinkapet-rates-anime · 6 months
Text
I'm talking about One Piece again, not sorry. I'm never sorry for gushing about the best pirate show EVER!
How Luffy recruited his crew- abridged edition
The simplest but also the funniest way I can describe the way the crew got together.
Koby- The notorious sword fighter Roronoa Zoro is on this island! He hunted pirates, you should leave immediately!
Luffy- Hell nah, I want that guy on my crew! He sounds cool!
Zoro- Go away, I can handle this on my own!
Helmeppo- *Plans to break the deal he made with Zoro.*
Luffy- Hell no! *Saves Zoro.*
Zoro- If I had died I would never be able to be the world greatest swordsman, thanks I guess. I suppose your my captain now.
Luffy- This clown guy is annoying. *Beats up Buggy and helps Nami.*
Luffy- You should join my crew!
Nami- Ok! *Already planning to rob them blind.*
Luffy- *Meets a weird dude with a long nose, a slingshot, and a compulsive lying issue.*
Luffy- I like this dude.
Usopp- My island is being attacked by pirates!
Luffy- *Helps with the pirate problem.*
Merry & Kaya- *Gives them the Going Merry as a thank you gift.*
Luffy- Come on Usopp, I know you wanna join!
Usopp- Fine! I'll become a warrior of the sea, like my deadbeat dad!
The Crew- *Hops on a restaurant boat for food, and meets a weird chef with swirl eyebrows.*
Luffy- Hey, join us!
Sanji- Dude, no. I'm not leaving this restaurant.
Don Krieg- *Attacks the restaurant.*
Luffy- *Deals with it, as per usual*
Zoro- Fight me! *Says Zoro, to the greatest swordsman he could never hope to beat, because he has the crazy goal of being the greatest swordsman.*
Mihawk- *Severely wounds Zoro.*
Sanji- You guys all have dreams just as crazy as mine, might as well join you.
Nami- *Steals everything from the Strawhats to make money.*
Luffy- Nah, not gunna bug her.
Arlong- *Has somebody steal the funds to by her home island from Nami, to force her to basically continue being his slave.*
Nami- Luffy... help.
Luffy- *Zero questions asked takes off to go beat that dude Arlong just because she asked for his help.*
Luffy- *Almost dies doing this, but nevertheless the mad lad does it.*
Nami- I'll actually join this time, no more robbing you guys.
Nami- *Gets really sick and almost dies.*
Luffy- A musician can wait for now, let's get her help. *Almost dies getting her help*
Chopper- *Accidentally gets spotted by Luffy, who immediately sees a reindeer and thinks "Dinner!"*
Chopper- *Transforms to get away.*
Luffy- Holy shit, a monster! Join my crew!
Chopper- *Offended by being called a monster, runs away.*
Sanji- Luffy is a monster too. Dude is literally made outta rubber.
Chopper- *Sense of camaraderie, but not enough yet.*
Luffy- *Helps him see his adoptive fathers dream through.*
Kureha- Go on kiddo, join em.
Chopper- Fine! Also I'm a doctor!
Luffy- Sweet, we needed one of those!
Robin- Theres no point in living, my research is going nowhere. Let me die.
Luffy- Absolutely not! *Saves her by force.*
Robin- You forced me to stay alive, guess I'm your problem now.
Franky- *Steals all the money from the Strawhats so they can't afford to fix the Going Merry, or buy a new ship.*
Luffy- Dude wtf. *Wrecks his base, but the money is already spent and gone.*
Usopp- I see your willingness to move on from the Merry as a personal attack, but I won't tell you that. Byeeee.
Robin- *Lets herself get arrested and sentenced to death to protect the crew.*
The Crew- Oh helllll nah! Get back here!
Franky- *Kidnaps Usopp as retribution, not knowing the situation of him leaving.*
Franky- Dude your ship is about to fall apart, let her rest.
Usopp- I know that! But the Merry is important, and also I saw a ghost fix her once.
Franky- Dude that ghost WAS the Merry. She talked to you because she loves you guys.
Government- *Kidnaps Franky and Usopp too.*
Franky- You have good friends Robin, maybe you should just let them save you.
Robin- No, I'm doing this for them.
The Crew- We literally don't want you to do that.
The Crew- *Literally wages war on the government to get their friend back.*
The Going Merry- *Saves the crew before having a tragic funeral as sea.*
Franky- You guys need a boat. It just so happens I used the money I stole from you to buy this epic wood to make a boat out of. You guys practically payed, so you can have it.
Luffy- Awesome! Now join us!
Franky- No.
Literally like a fifth of the population of Waters 7- *Steals his speedo in an elaborate game of keep away to get him to go to the Strawhats.
Luffy- Join or you can't have these back.
Robin- *Twists his balls to force him to join.*
Franky- Christ, fine.
Luffy- Holy crap guys it's a talking skeleton! Let's go talk to him!
Half the Crew- Absolutely not.
Luffy- We are doing this y'all.
Brook- Hello! Miss may I see your panties? *Asks the 90 year old skeleton dude*
Nami- Wtf? Absolutely not.
Luffy- Join us!
Brook- Yes!
Half the Crew- Luffy no...
Brook- I can sing and play instruments!
Luffy- Fuck yes a musician, finally!
Brook- My shadow was stolen so I'd die in the sun. Can't join, gotta get it back, don't follow me, BYEEEE! *Runs on the water and leaves.*
The Crew- *Accidentally ends up in the same place Brook went.*
The Crew- Oh shit zombies!
Luffy- Awesome! I wish all these monsters would join the crew!
The Crew- Dude... why.
Half the Crew- *Gets their shadows stolen by the same dude who stole Brooks.*
Brook- Use salt, it works.
Luffy- *Beats up a giant zombie with his shadow in it, and then beats up the warlord who steals the shadows.*
Luffy- Brook, join us.
Brook- No, sadly I cannot. As the last living member of my crew, I have a duty to our friend the whale, Laboon.
Luffy- Oh that whale? We know him! I drew our Jolly Roger on his face, he's a buddy of mine.
Brook- Guess I'm joining!
Jinbe- Luffy, buddy, come to the fish man island and say hi!
The Crew- *Immediately causes chaos.*
Jinbe- Dude please stop.
Luffy- Haha, no. So who do I needa punch to get you to join us?
Jinbe- I can't dude. Love you man, but I have prior arrangements.
Luffy- *Fixes the problem on the island*
Luffy- Ok now join us.
Jinbe- Busy.
Luffy- *More chaos.*
Jinbe- Fiiiiine. *Severs Ties with the Big Mom crew and joins them.*
29 notes · View notes
apricotbuncakes · 25 days
Text
"How does donating to your GoFundMe support your Top Surgery?"
Tumblr media
I'm glad you asked about this -> gofundme and how it works!
But first: if you can't afford to donate, REBLOG THIS TO HELP IT REACH MORE PEOPLE. You can also repost it to other sites or share directly with those you know can help! This helps a lot because I'm unable to constantly reblog and share it, limiting my reach to external communities.
GoFundMe, in it's most basic explanation, is a collection service that tracks how much money a certain fund has been donated to and holds onto it for the individual/group/organization until they withdrawl (or 'cash out') the money.
GoFundMe takes a portion of what is donated to keep their own business running, but most of it still goes to the person you intended to donate to! This is also why surpassing a goal when on a crowdfunding service is extremely important. If I got exactly 10,000 in donations, I wouldn't have actually made all of that money because of the portion that is taken out.
That said, it is still incredibly helpful! Of the money that I can receive from the donations, I can put that towards so many different things!!
Due to legislation and otherwise hostile environments being created for trans people across the United States (in what is rightfully being called a genocide, but I digress) I'm choosing to go the 'out of pocket' route for top surgery, meaning I'm not relying on my insurance for the procedure. Insurance can take significantly longer, and they have a limited number of people in network (aka people who accept my insurance for payment) that can perform this. It can also limit 'cosmetic' aspects, even if those things are considered standard practice, like nipple crafts.
Basically, by paying 'out of pocket' I'm allowing myself a shorter wait time because im not having to fight with insurance, or sacrificing quality over coverage.
Is crowdfunding my only option to cover this? No! I'm saving up what I can, but I work an hourly-wage job that is considered under livable wage even though it's above the minimum. I'm scheduled to work 116 hours at a part time job for college students, just in the month of March. Because I'm disabled in several aspects, this is taking a significant toll on my physical well being. I am in a better position than other people because I'm living with one of my partner's family who provides transportation, rent (housing), electric, and water utilities, and in trade I help with food through Food Assistance, a portion of the car payment, and my portion of the phone bill. I'm also paying back the minimum monthly cost for my student loans (though I'm working to get that paused for the time being). But I'm still not making $1,000 a month after taxes and bills, which means that without spending extra money, I'm only saving a few hundred a month on my own for this goal.
All of that means that I'll need to look into financing options, what are essentially loans for medical procedures. That's where the crowdfunding comes in. While I am able to make monthly payments to cover this, depending on the plan, interest can start up in under a year. With a $10,000 surgery (that price includes the estimated costs for doctor visits, tests/scans, the procedure itself, aftercare supplies, money set aside for bills while I can't work during recovery, etc) waiting to pay all of that after the interest has started adding could take literal years, and I'd be pouring more money than I can afford into it. By crowdfunding however, I would be able to get the surgery and prior/post supplies and expenses paid for, and then pay for most (if not all) of the finances/loans I took out for it after.
Basically, in my circumstances, the crowdfunding is being raised to help me pay the loans I need for this procedure off, amongst other expenses related to the surgery.
"But why do you NEED top surgery?"
Without getting into the statistics, or even legislative parts of it (and what may try to stop me from getting it by proxy), I'll stick to the facts of my individual situation.
My breasts are a literal pain in my back, and with Fibromyalgia (a disability that causes chronic pain, even when 'nothing' is wrong, a poor explanation but one that is satisfactory for this discussion) it just makes it that much worse. My breasts are rather large and are causing me a great deal of struggle to even breath properly because of their weight.
Even if that wasn't the case though, they cause me significant gender dysphoria, meaning my body is distressing me because it doesn't match my perceived sense of self as a man (or masc) person. Socially, emotionally, and mentally, they limit my transition and health, so removing them is in my best interest (my therapist even agrees). Getting this surgery done ASAP is a priority for me because of this, as well as the aforementioned growing hostility for trans people, and Anti-Trans legislation that feeds into that.
"What else are you doing to raise money?"
I understand that some people are cautious to donate money to someone who may not bring doing tbeir on effort to save money themselves.
As I said before, I'm saving what I can with my disposable income (or money that does not go directly to bills and expenses). I'm not spending on frivolous things (for me, that's eating out, new clothes, trinkets, subscription services or otherwise unneeded items). Unneeded items do not include pet supplies, medication expenses, NEEDED clothing (like weather appropriate clothes for the season), hygiene products like deodorant and soap, and other items that are not bills but are still needed.
But I'm also going to start applying for grant/scholarship money for trans people, or money I don't have to pay back. This money (should I qualify AND receive it) will go directly towards my surgery expenses so I don't have to pay as much money back on loans.
There is a chance I won't receive any of them that I apply for, which is why my gofundme goal is the total cost still, so I'm not low balling myself and having to raise the goal later.
If you really want to, I'm also opening commissions (three slots total). Because I'm packing myself to the brim with my main job, I won't be able to complete them as quickly, though I will work on them as frequently as possible. Commissions have the benefit of the money going DIRECTLY to me, so gofundme doesn't get a cut of it.
Have any other questions? My ask box and DMs are open!!
10 notes · View notes
viridianriver · 4 months
Text
ive been having some thoughts about trauma, the way it's passed down, war, whiteness, forgiving your family, and making change in your communities. it's a lot but i needed to get it out.
i grew up with a rough home life, not trying to get into that too much, but it made me hate angry men as a teenager, and have pretty much no respect or empathy for them. it was unacceptable, full stop, no justification.
then i got older, got my own place, and realized how true the saying 'if you grew up with an angry man in the house you'll always have an angry man in the house" - it was all the shit I hated, come to live inside me. i lived alone but still carried it with me.
then i got older, and started getting real uncomfortable with the jobs I was working; in engineering it's hard finding jobs that don't take government money, and at least some military money. i tried to stay off that shit, but still - being in that space, you still see shit and hear shit. and are told that you can't say shit. and there's a whole culture of not knowing - so what I do hear is gossip - things officially get framed as "research" with a great deal of vagueness about how or when the "research" will get used.
then I started thinking more about my family history. where all the men were in the military or saw war and violence.
My dad was in the Navy during the cold war, on a submarine. He joined because he didn't have the money for college, and he had to move out at 18 and it was all he could afford.
My grandpas were in World War 2. One served on an aircraft carier - there wasn't a lot of other work for an Irish immigrant at the time, and one was a pacifist who enlisted because he was about to get drafted regardless. But he got pulled out right when he was on the docks to deploy because someone heard he was studying chem. He wasn't told where he was going, other than Los Alamos, but nobody knew what that was at the time. And from what I hear, even people inside weren't told the entirety of what they were building, it was a top secret research project, just do your part. After the war, he quit his chemical engineering doctorate a month before graduation, and never worked in the field again.
My great grandad saw his twin shot in the head in front of him by a german soldier when they were children in WW1. And my great grandparents were immigrants, fleeing the world war, and the english occupation of Ireland.
and the stories of the women in my family don't even get passed down the same way, i wish i knew more about them. But it's hitting me now, how the last several generations of my family have seen so much violence. and it makes me understand in a way, how after generations of being taken right out of childhood and thrown into war? how else is a person going to learn to be but violent?
i've found some forgiveness for my family in that way, but also new anger - for colonialism, fascism, and war. and the systems that allow them all. in 3 generations, my family has gone from fleeing that shit, to contributing to a country that encourages both - with our work, taxes, and more than that, our ideology. I'm starting to think that's what happens when the bubble of 'whiteness' expands to include whatever new type of immigrant is allowed to be white - it only expands after that group has grown to accept the ideologies of whiteness - that the forever war is just, or at least 'just a job'.
Being in government work really makes it clear that war is a business. and one that reaches into far more industries than publicly advertise it. Getting the vibe that some people are just looking for war, to justify their spending. Or so deep in the sunk cost fallacy they really think there needs to be a war because we're under threat. The death toll in Gaza is up, I see on the news. Profits are up, I hear in the tech industry. Calling my dad, he feels the same. War's good for the economy, always has been. I look around the stores, and half the brands I see have side hustles in weapons manufacturing or other war profiteering.
the culture of whiteness is violence. our cultures have been replaced by the culture of war. And it damages fucking everything. Including ourselves, when generations of families have PTSD, but not the words for it. When the isolation of the family and lack of family planning options keep the women at home when the men go to war. when back home, there's still such a big gun culture - for some people the feeling of being at war never ends.
i started out mad at my family - but now? i'm mad at being so deep in an ideology that perpetuates the cycle of violence. it's strange, it's almost like the cycles of violence in a family play out on the world stage too. the oppressed and abused find the only safety they will ever be afforded in violence, whether that's raising a hand against a father for the first time, or escaping war only to send your sons off to another.
the culture of whiteness looks down on self-reflection and empathy and community, especially among men - and I think that really contributes to the intergenerational violence, and the creation of a culture that can so easily be incited to war, all the while feeling it is just, or at least "just how the world works" since it's all they know.
i don't know how much i can change as just one person, but i think I need to be working on connecting more to my community, building the kinds of support frameworks that can deconstruct the culture of reactive violence. i've had friends who were able to do that for me, i need to pay that forward
i have a few more thoughts on this topic but this has gotten long enough
14 notes · View notes
peachyyykid · 6 months
Text
Deceivers Ch. 23 - Travels
word count: 2778
Chapter 22 - Plans
Tumblr media
Two days ago, on an unknown island in the New World
After the long talk with Frewin, the two of you had come to a decision. The plan was genius, and you were in luck that it was so convenient.
Instead of having to go back to sea, potentially dying, Cawrolin would take you to the island where Jeany lived.
When Frewin first proposed the idea, you couldn't believe how that was supposed to work, but it would go like this: Cawrolin would wait for a newspaper bird and blackmail it, forcing it to take a letter to the Victoria Punk. In case that it would fall in the wrong hands, you couldn't use any names, locations or general remarks that could benefit the wrong people.
Then came the trickiest part: If Kid and the crew even wanted to come and help you, they would roughly have to arrive at the same time as you. Also, they couldn't answer your letter, so you just had to hope and see.
In two days' time, you would already sit on Cawrolin's back, hopefully not falling to your death in the process.
Right now, you sat at the table writing, sipping another glass of Frewin's self-made lemonade. The pen glided over the rough paper and your thoughts travelled onto it.
Hey you guys,
You're probably wondering how the fuck I sent you this letter. Long story short: My new friends and I threatened and blackmailed the newspaper bird. I can't wait to tell you, it was an experience. Good news is, I am safe and not alone. I have help.
I'm so sorry for leaving. I really am! It was stupid, I didn't think it through, and I foolishly thought I could handle it alone. I was too chicken to ask for your help. I thought maybe you wouldn't want to help me. I realised too late that that's not the case at all. You guys (all of you!) are the closest thing I had to a family in months. But I will tell you all that to your faces when we see each other again, because that's what you deserve, and I don't have much time.
They have J and my brother. And by they I mean everyone we don't like. Captain was right, something was fishy. Remember J? You should know where she lives. I will be heading there tomorrow. Might take me a day or two to get there, depending. I have a ride, but unfortunately, it's not durable enough to drop me off with you.
I don't expect you to be there for me after I drugged our night watch and the captain and fled, but I wanted to let you know that I'm safe. The sea didn't get me.
I WILL NOT do anything stupid, I promise. No confrontation and such. I just want to do everything I can to help my brother and my best friend. My new friends can't come with me, so I'm on my own.
I miss you. Please wish me luck.
The next paragraph is just for our captain. Seriously, hand the letter to him now. I mean it. I know that F and J are still reading it at this point. Hand it over or I WILL cut of your fingers one by one with a rusty butter knife.
Hey you,
I am sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I broke my promise. If you are willing to give me another chance at being your... doctor, I will gladly take it and not mess up. I will make up for everything, no matter how and how long it takes. You're confusing me most of the time, but right now I'm sure that I'd rather be where you are than anywhere else.
Love,
Doc
You held the letter in your hands and read it again. You really couldn't afford any slip ups, but it seemed very vague for strangers and specific to your friends.
Cawrolin cawed and you looked at her. The newspaper bird stood next to her, looking absolutely miserable. Neither Frewin nor you knew what she had blackmailed him with (and how...), but it seemed to be successful.
Carefully, you read the letter one last time, chuckling at the warning for Flipper and Jonah. Anyone other than Kid reading the last part would be kind of embarrassing.
"Alright!", you exclaimed, before putting the letter into an unmarked envelope.
"Don't worry, they won't leave you hanging", Frewin said.
"I'm not worried!" Your voice sounded fake.
Of course, you were a little worried. You abandoned them after all. Maybe this was the last chance you had with them, especially with Kid.
"Of course not!", Frewin grinned, "are you all packed though? Food, water, maps, log pose just in case? Your knives?"
"Yes, to all of that", you answered dutifully.
"They're gonna be there, (y/n)", Frewin said, his voice now without humour. He sounded like he genuinely believed it.
You nodded.
"You told me your story and from what it sounded like I can tell that you're important to them."
"Most important is that they’re important to me, just like Jeany and my brother. So, I'll have to be there either way! That's good enough for me."
"Very well. Do you have a plan for when you get there?", Frewin asked, a hint of concern in his voice.
You scoffed amusedly, "I'll wing it."
That was the truth. You didn't have a plan, you just knew that you would avoid confrontation, and that you knew the town where they held Jeany well enough to be sneaky.
Frewin raised his brows.
"Honestly. I'm strangely optimistic about this."
That was also true.
"If you say so, I believe you", Frewin smiled.
- - -
Today on the Victoria Punk
"I know it's gonna be hard for you, but I cannot stress this enough, don't damage their ship", Killer yelled at the crew, who were more than ready to attack the marines.
General murmuring filled the deck, all agreeing that that wouldn't even be necessary.
They were in luck. The ship was relatively small for a marine ship, with only a crew of little fish on board.
"Light work", Kid chuckled.
"Wanna bet how long it takes?", Killer asked from his Captain's side.
Kid's mood had improved drastically after not only receiving your letter, but also being handed the perfect opportunity to let off steam and get a ride through the calm belt.
"Two minutes", Kid pressed out through gritted teeth, "if I win, you'll cook me a personal lunch every day for a week."
Killer stared at him through his mask with his arms crossed, fingers tapping on his biceps.
"I already do that."
Kid furrowed his brows. Right.
"Anyways. I'll say three", the masked man decided, and turned around to Flipper, who was sitting in a sniper spot in the crow's nest, "Flipper, do me a favour and have a look at your watch!"
"Gotcha!", a faint, faceless voice came back from above.
"When I win, you'll play dress up as a marine after we got their ship", Killer said, almost snickering at the thought.
"I'd rather die", the redhead spat.
"Sore looser", Killer commented.
"Concentrate."
"Okay."
Killer turned his face forward, a half-smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
The marines didn't even fathom what hit them when the Victoria Punk used its quick manoeuvrability to its advantage, so the crew could jump on their deck.
Swords and various parts of metal clashed, and when the marines tried firing a cannon at the Kid Pirate's ship, their captain stopped it masterly.
Insults were yelled at the opposing crew from both sides as blood splattered and seeped into the wooden planks.
Flipper took a good portion of them out with his sniper skills and the Kid Pirates didn't even break out into sweat.
Some light damage of the ship couldn't be avoided, but it was merely scratches in comparison to what havoc Kid and his crew normally left behind.
Most of them were still in fight mode and not yet satisfied, when the hordes of attacking marines died down until it eventually stopped.
Kid stood on their deck in puddles of blood, letting his gaze wander over the ship with a wicked grin on his face.
"Whoo! Two minutes and forty-seven seconds!", Flipper yelled from the crow's nest and Kid growled.
"Time for Lieutenant Commander Kid to make an appearance", Killer whispered from the side.
"I will kill you in your sleep", the captain snarled.
Jonah came towards them from a corner behind the galley, with an injured man in his grip, struggling to keep up.
"Captain, I found a navigator. Do we need him?"
Kid pondered, looking the whimpering marine up and down.
"Can't hurt having him around", he then said, and the man sighed.
"You're Eustass Kid...", he slurred, "what do you want from us?"
"Your ship. You will take us through the calm belt", Kid commanded nonchalantly.
The marine's eyes widened, and his head shook violently.
"I can't! That's treason!"
Kid chuckled and looked around, scanning his crew's faces while they started laughing manically.
"Treason?", he grinned, "I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation you're in. Your dead colleagues are the lucky ones, you got me?
The marine opened his mouth in silence and looked around on the deck, taking in the sight of half of his crew laying on it motionless, the rest trying to crawl to non-existent safety despite their grave injuries.
"If you don't help me find what I'm looking for, I will cut you open and use the time while you're balancing between life and death to take out your intestines to strangle you with them."
Kid looked down on him with a vicious grin, and he realised that it had been a long time since he last did what they did today.
The marine gulped.
"Did the message arrive?"
A harsh nod was the only answer he got.
"The nice man helping you stand up straight is Jonah. He will accompany you to your workplace."
Jonah pushed the man towards the galley and Kid took a deep breath.
"Alright, throw the bodies overboard, alive or dead. Half of you will take the Victoria Punk straight to the closest island without any incidents to wait for us."
The men started rummaging around on deck, collecting bodies, and throwing them over the railing. Some marines pleaded for their lives, but it fell on deaf ears.
"Wire and Heat, I'll assign the command over the Victoria Punk and the crew to you for the time being. Moku and the recruits will stay with you. Killer, Flipper, Jonah, Mammo and Shiki will come with me, along with twenty other sailors. Volunteers!"
Twenty sailors were found quickly, and the crew split up according to Kid's plan.
The two ships parted ways and Heat, Wire, Killer, and Kid saluted each other before the Victoria Punk was out of reach.
"Remember our bet?", Killer said now, and nudged Kid in the shoulder.
Kid let out a gruff sigh.
"I have a better idea. Our bet made me think."
"Interesting, I'm listening."
"All of us will dress up as marines to disguise ourselves", Kid grinned brightly.
"Kid, come on", Killer scoffed, "you're just saying that because you're pissed off that you lost and now you don't want to be the only stupid looking one."
"Or it’s just clever to blend in. I guess we'll never know", he said to Killer, before calling out to the rest of the crew, who all assembled on deck.
"Listen you slags, everyone grab a marine uniform from the quarters and put it on!"
They all looked at him with empty eyes, unsure about whether the command was a joke or not. Kid groaned in frustration.
"We can't afford losing any more time and I'll be damned if we end up in an inconvenient situation because we're pirates on a marine ship in the calm belt. Move your lazy asses!"
Killer was pleasantly surprised by how Kid's head was obviously thinking straight and logical, and wondered if the chance of seeing you again played a part in that.
Reluctantly, the crew moved towards the quarters to rummage around in the marines’ belongings. Kid and Killer joined them, looking for uniforms for higher ranks.
"If I was in this line of work, I'd wear an admirals uniform", Kid huffed and threw various pieces of clothing over his shoulder.
They were successful in the second room they searched, and ten minutes later, the entire crew was sporting white and blue uniforms.
"This is wrong", Flipper complained while trying to button up the buttons over his chest.
"It's disgusting", Mammo added dramatically.
From afar, they might fool curious people, but up close it was clear who they were, especially since nobody had the heart to separate from their trademark.
Kid with his coat and goggles, Killer with his mask, Flipper with his absolutely outdated rifle and the others with all their small peculiarities.
"Where's our navigator intern, Jonah?", Killer asked.
"Chained and bound to a chair, I'll join him now so we can start our journey."
"Perfect", Kid grinned.
While the marine ship turned towards its destination and sailed into the night, you sat down in a straw basket way too small, with Frewin and Cawrolin observing you, many many miles away from the pirates.
"Like this?", you asked the man, and he nodded.
"It's small, but it has to be, otherwise Cawrolin couldn't carry you."
He gently placed a large bottle of water, food, and all your belongings in your lap.
"Your legs will be very uncomfortable, but don't move too much. Tell Cawrolin to take breaks if you feel like either of you has to", Frewin advised you.
"I'll try to just pull through", you smiled.
Of course you wanted Cawrolin to get back to Frewin in one piece. They were doing you such a huge favour after all.
You felt a little sentimental. The two of you (sometimes three when Cawrolin participated) had a lot of good talks in the last two days, and you learned a lot about life.
"Uhm, Frewin?", you said hesitantly, and he hummed in response, "thank you for everything. You're really someone to be remembered, and I hope we see each other again."
"We will. And if you wanna talk, I'm just a snail call away."
He patted your head.
You watched him curiously as he tied two buckles around Cawrolins legs, right above her claws. Each of the buckles were connected with two ropes, which ended on each corner of the basket you sat in.
"The start will be a bit rocky", Frewin said while testing the security of each rope, and you nodded.
"Good luck, (y/n)", he smiled.
"Thank you. So much, really."
The bird let out a loud caw, and a strong wind tugged at your hair when she spread her wings, flapping them twice before her feet left the ground.
You looked at Cawrolin in awe, because this was the first time you saw her spread her wings. They were massive and seemed way too big for her body.
Cawrolin was in the air first, and then the basket slowly lifted, shaking left and right before going steady.
Frewin waved at you from below, and you did your best to wave back without moving too much, although Cawrolin seemed secure.
The old man got smaller and smaller, and soon you had to look back up to avoid feeling nauseated.
You observed how the large, white wings swallowed the moonlight shining on your face with each flap outward, and how they blocked your view at the stars.
"You're really the strongest bird I know", you chuckled up at her, and she cawed quietly.
Over the past days you had gotten used to talking to a bird like you would talk to a person, talking like to a child possibly came closest.
As Frewin had foreshadowed, your legs got stiff soon, but you just clenched your teeth and tried ignoring it.
Instead, you narrowed your eyes to see what was around you. You could faintly make out the dark sea below, and some islands in the distance.
The sky was clear, no clouds in sight. After your unfortunate journey to Frewin's island, you knew that storms could brew any minute, so you tried your best to observe any changes around you. In case of a storm, Cawrolin would have to land somewhere.
You felt peace. Flying was peaceful.
Although your legs felt weird, you felt like nothing bad could touch you up here.
You thought about your brother, desperate to know what happened.
He was at Jeany's pub, with her, his crew, and the world nobles. You wondered how they got him to lure you into a trap. Most probably threats of physical harm.
How would all this end? Would it even end at all?
Nobody could possibly know, you could just hope for a happy one.
The wind up here was mild, and very calming. The even flaps of Cawrolins wings hypnotised you and aided by the darkness you slowly slipped into a deep slumber, finally free of worries about marines, nobles, and pirates. 
32 notes · View notes
the-casbah-way · 11 days
Text
gender rant below
it's so frustrating to me how systemic and collective transphobia is so embedded into literally everything that it even rots the minds of people who otherwise seem left wing or progressive. my mother has always been a fairly radical leftist and she is overwhelmingly accepting and unquestioning of all of my trans friends. but as soon as i told her i wanted to start testosterone and get surgery she's suddenly started spouting terf rhetoric left and right without even realising she's doing it. my whole life she has let me dress and present however i want and she has always been the kind of parent that just leaves me alone and lets me do my own thing. but now she's giving me her opinion of what i wear and what clothes i buy because she'd clearly prefer me to look feminine because she now equates my masculinity not with the radical gender nonconformity she respects and enjoys but with explicit transness. and she never had a problem with transness until she realised that it also applied to me. i was her oldest daughter so i was the one she projected onto and lived through vicariously and so when i start doing things she wouldn't personally do it feels disappointing to her i suppose. when i was younger she was constantly telling me that i was everything she wanted to be but never got to and because she doesn't believe that she can still achieve those things she wants me to do it instead. she doesn't even know she's doing it so i don't know how to fix it but i really do wish she would get therapy because this is just one of the multiple ways in which she projects these issues onto me and makes me feel like i have to be somebody else just to please her. she says she'd do anything to stop me being miserable but she doesn't want me to do this even though i've told her that the reason i'm miserable is because of dysphoria. she keeps saying that she's sorry she didn't take me to the doctor sooner and that she can't afford a good therapist for me because if i had gotten help in my childhood i wouldn't be "like this" now and i know she's only saying that because she doesn't know how these things work but it sucks so much to hear that. for me it has taken so much work and so much courage to admit that i want to transition even to myself so to have someone enforce all of my doubts and fears out loud and to have that someone be the person whose opinion i have always cared about the most is just rough. my identity just makes so much sense to me and it just feels so right that i can't possibly explain it to someone who doesn't also understand and i have told her that she doesn't need to understand she just has to be kind and accepting but. god i hate being misunderstood like this. it sucks so much to have something that feels so special and exciting and beautiful be deemed scary and ugly and weird by someone so close to me. i know this is just part of being trans so i've got to get used to it but i'm so tired of working through all of these layers of internalised queerphobia only to get hit in the face by more external stuff that makes me feel absolutely awful about myself
7 notes · View notes
imdefyingmavity · 3 months
Note
"Depressing af way to end. :(" yes! when the six said it was final i didn't expect THIS. again, especially after 5x06! alison reaffirmed that the ghosts are family! mike and alison love living at button house! julian--JULIAN!--gave a speech about being glad they found each other. and i know selling the house will have them set for life, but not once did they talk about getting jobs after the gatehouse didn't work out??
i feel a bit (ok, a lot) that a very important part of the ghosts' (after)lives were stolen from them. and sure, alison can't live forever. and yes, being a hotel now that lots of people will visit, i'm sure the ghosts are going to occasionally come across someone who can see ghosts. but those people aren't going to LIVE there, let alone going to become a family. and i doubt those people will want to talk to the ghosts--i mean, look at kylie's reaction lol. she doesn't even want to do a concert at button house, let alone stay for holiday. unless someone dies at the hotel (bound to happen) and stays as a ghost (less likely), other than each other, who knows when the ghosts are going to have found family again. and with a living? never, probably.
i just. i knew since before s4 that s5 was probably the end, so by the time they confirmed it was, and by the time i finished s5, i wasn't like, devastated or anything. but the xmas special is, as you said, depressing af. it ruined it for me. it feels OOC and the whole thing with betty was just so irritating, and not even in a funny or humorous way like barclay can be. which is why i've said it's dead to me, i have to ignore it exists as much as possible.
anyway lol
Feel free to rant to me anytime! Putting my further rants under a cut because oh boy.
I keep having to process how I feel about this finale because it's hardly Game of Thrones or Sherlock level bad. But it's also coming off wrapping up Fourteen and Donna's storyline in Doctor Who which was - *chefs kiss* - perfect found family / platonic soulmates ending. So that did set the bar quite high in terms of wholesomeness.
And yeah sadly it failed to meet it, at least in my opinion.
Thing is when people describe it as bittersweet, for me it's so bitter that the sweetness is barely noticeable. And most of it comes down to how much Alison was sidelined and downplayed in her own show, the finale at that. Having Betty be the major character that took up so much time was a huge mistake and took away from the chance of us seeing happy moments between the ghosts and Alison and the baby etc. And as you say, she wasn't even a fun annoying character like Barclay.
I really don't have a problem with Alison and Mike needing to sell and move out, I just think it should have been executed in a far less rushed and melancholy way.
For starters I think they should have had Alison make the decision to leave at the end of S5. But asserting that it has nothing to do with what Julian did, it's purely because they simply can't afford to live there anymore. And for everyone saying the point of the finale is the Ghosts "let her go" as a gift - Julian already stated that it's HER decision and they won't stand in her way. He wasn't begging her to stay as much as asking forgiveness so they didn't part on bad terms. I feel like her needing to be persuaded to leave (which she doesn't even fight them on) almost takes away her agency, in an episode which doesn't allow her to do much as is.
I see a lot of people, including the six idiots, compare it to parents packing their kids up for uni or their own place. Here's the problem - the ghosts are not her parents. And that house is HERS. It was HER dream to turn it into a hotel but she has to give up on it and leave her found family because, ho hum, baby. And there's nothing wrong with motherhood or characters being mums...it's just a trope we are so tired of seeing where everything has to be tied up because Baby! Or people have to move out because Baby! Let's ignore the fact we have a character who emphasised the benefits of raising kids in a community.
I think my problem was that, and clearly this wasn't what the idiots had in mind, I read the ghosts as almost an analogy for those with chronic illnesses or disabilities, things that limit us and often leave us feeling shut in and unable to interact with the world. Alison did things for them at the start purely for alliance of convenience - but then she did them because she chose to, because she loves them and wants to help them the same way you would help someone with disabilities who you love. So the idea of "now I have a baby, that's my priority and I have to leave you" when there are so many other ways they could have worked around that has left me very uncomfortable.
Again, I'll make it clear, I don't think that was their intention at all. But sadly it's why I felt so attached to it. Visiting once or twice a year just doesn't put enough sweetness on to sooth the pain. How about instead paying to rebuild the gate house and they bought that to live close but also have their own space? How about Barclay died and they take his house? Or even just a montage showing us how often Alison visits and happy times bringing Mia, that the ghosts did get to watch her grow, maybe even seeing Alison die and FINALLY give Kitty a proper hug as well as the others!
The coda was sweet but it was far too brief and though I see what they were going for revealing so little to us, it left me feeling cold and like we weren't welcome in on their lives anymore as we're not allowed to see them. We shouldn't have had to listen to Jim on the podcast to know the ghosts would learn to like the hotel. Show don't tell.
*sigh* it is what it is, I just feel like there was so much missed opportunity for it to be something truly amazing but sadly it is always going to be my least favorite and possibly a skip whenever I do a rewatch.
10 notes · View notes
olderthannetfic · 2 years
Note
There are plenty of us that are childfree but also not by choice. We live the lifestyle. They have our mental gymnastics to make it less of a constant pain. We have the things we use to cope and take comfort... but for a lot of us, it wasn't by choice.
Obviously, medical infertility is what everyone is familiar with. But there is another form of infertility: social infertility.
How many of us heard over and over again, "If you can't afford to have children, then don't have them"? Well, we can't have them.
So many, but not all, of us have convinced ourselves to hate children. We made ourselves repulsed by children, by pregnancy, but all of that... because it somehow makes the pain less sharp. A lot of us aren't that great in handling children because so few of our peers can have them. We didn't get the practice.
I was once telling a story for a fanfic scene idea of a young little child being handed a very previous personal object of his father to signal the father has died and won't be returning.
Someone in the echo chamber said, "Yeah, I don't care. I hate kids."
Then, when I said, "Hi. I am that child. I was that child. My father didn't come back," then they were fucking silent. It hurt so much, and I haven't entirely forgiven them for it.
It has become so permissive to hate children, to hate the choices others make with their bodies, that you are either so pro-child you are covered in them or you are a cruel caricature of a spinster.
The right to reproductive autonomy is supposed to be an inalienable one. The desire to reproduce is built into us in one form or another, though it is also understandable why some people don't want anything to do with that.
That inalienable right to reproductive autonomy is also supposed to go both ways. But in so many ways, our society lays traps. They are on the right, they are on the left, and the rest is... wilderness.
Although I was already a little familiar with some of the surface-level issues, a large writing project I am working that features a man becoming pregnant has given me good reason to really dive into the subject of transmaternity. It has become a passion of mine.
Transmasc individuals who become pregnant are boxed out on either side. They are consistently isolated by other transmasc for not being masc enough. They are men, thus, they don't belong in social or medical spaces. Many have lost partners and friends who were a part of the LGBTQ+ community, often trans because what they went through with their body made other people dysphoric... even though it isn't their body.
I read too many accounts of their own life-partners telling them maybe they aren't so trans after all. Maybe they are 'just NB.'
Once again, someone is making what he does with his body after themselves.
Some of these men went to great lengths to advocate for C-sections and were denied. Some had to trick the system into alloying it. Others searched high and low for doctors who understood that a channel birth could be dysphoric for them and allowed them to schedule them preemptively. Some of these went on to have a channel birth and found that it was affirming to them because the experience clarified it for them that they were still men. Some required incredible support from the people in their lives to recover from the resulting dysphoria, only to be told "I told you so" by cis and trans alike.
Finding affirming and supportive medical care is a challenge, often with obstacles, and sometimes they have to make do with a hostile OBGYN/Neo-Natal medical care complex because no matter what, they want to do this.
Transmaternity is complicated and personal because ultimately, it is about a person's body...
It makes me furious with grief every time someone makes the idea of a transman being pregnant about themselves.
"It makes me dysphoric." Great, it isn't about anyone's body, but the owner of said body. It is about no one else.
"It makes me uncomfortable to see them pregnant." Since it is their body, and only they are in it, the only person who comforted or discomforted by it is... that person.
In the same way that no trans parson's existence could cater to whether a cis person feels comfortable when they look at them, are around them, it needs to exist within that community, too.
Some of these men to be called Mom. Some choose to be called Dad.
Some have had top surgery, others delay until after the entrance of their child. Some never feel a need to it and get a measure of joy from not having to face one more obstacle.
Maternity is incredibly gendered, and members of the trans community that go through it are still feeling their way around.
But so many members of the trans community show their internalized transphobia just as loudly as the cis community the moment pregnancy comes to it.
While Roe vs Wade has frighteningly complicated matters... it is these experienced transmen who know a bit more about these medical systems that are trying to help their others. They know how to find OGBYN's who are supportive of transmasc reproductive health issues. They are often the elders. Sadly, too many of them feel driven out of the community because other people make what he does with his body about how it makes others feel.
But it hurts so much... it hurts SO much... to have wanted to be a parent since I was a kid, and there is no way I can be. To have gone through my own painful childhood, and people feel free to show a complete lack of empathy to children because they don't like children.
Man... they are little people. They are just little people. They need their own spaces. They should be cared for by people who want them. Those who don't want them shouldn't be forced or guilted into having them. But they are JUST LITTLE PEOPLE.
Sorry for going off. There's a lot of pain.
--
124 notes · View notes
omniblades-and-stars · 5 months
Text
Daisy's gonna get real with y'all for a minute.
I've been playing Mass Effect for a long fucking time. Since the second one came out in 2010. At the time, I was broke as fuck, living in my grandparent's basement, struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder.
I felt utterly powerless.
And I'm working at Gamestop part time, we got to check out games for free. I keep seeing this game, it's the second one in a series I've never heard of before. Everybody was all up Halo's ass still (no shade to Halo). But it's a sci-fi adventure with cool aliens in it.
I boot it up on my Xbox and create my character. She looks kind of like me, but I can't get the nose quite right, but that's okay.
And as I play, making all kinds of mistakes, I'm sure, I realize, people know her. They missed her. There's this pilot, he's kind of an asshole, but in the same way some of my friends are loveable assholes.
There's the doctor, and her laughter is so kind, it felt healing. Also, she's kind of hot. And funny.
I immediately go to get Archangel because that guy sounds rad as fuck from the dossier. And when he greets me, I just know, THIS, this is your ride or die friend. It's apparent in the banter. Like "Haha you jackass I love you." Kind of friends.
And it just keeps going. I feel less alone.
But as I'm playing as this incredible, powerful woman, I realize something else.
I feel powerful too. Or at least, I don't feel powerless. And that counts.
And I keep pushing through, even though life is awful. And it gets worse.
Surprise! Daisy, you're pregnant! Oh and look at that, it's twins!
I'm still broke as fuck, living in my grandparent's basement. My husband and I have been trying for years to find better jobs, but there's nothing but shitty part time, minimum wage work. The recession is technically over, but those of thrust into adulthood during those years know the truth.
In some way, it never ended.
It's 2012, after the Extended Cut for 3 is released, and I'm doing bad. It turns out undiagnosed and untreated bipolar disorder mix with post-partum depression about as well as bleach and ammonia.
My babies never sleep, so I don't either. I gave up on going to work. My husband has to work all the time when I'm awake so we can afford to live in our shitty apartment where someone was shot in the parking lot right outside my window. So I almost never see him.
Suicide is on my mind.
I feel alone.
I feel powerless.
My husband spent the money to buy me Mass Effect 3 for my birthday. And I boot it up.
There are all my friends! Hey guys, the world's kind of gone to shit, huh? I feel you, my world's gone to shit too.
I devour it.
I get to the end, and there's an option I didn't expect.
Synthesis.
And as EDI's dialogue cuts in for the epilogue, I'm already weeping because oh shit Shepard just died. But then EDI says, "I am alive, and I am not alone."
And all of the air leaves my lungs. I'm ugly crying at this point, alone in my living room, hunched over with snot all over my face and hands.
Because she's right.
I am alive. And I'm not alone.
My sweet, beautiful children are sleeping (for once) just in the other room. My husband is working himself literally to the bone because he loves us so much, he's not going to let us become homeless if he can help it. My aunt came by to surprise me and take me out to lunch for my birthday.
She didn't even know I had been contemplating taking my own life that morning.
I'm not alone. Sure, shit sucks. I've been destitute my entire adult life, I'm a college drop out, I haven't slept in months, we can barely make rent, my body is different now and I don't like it, but I'm still here.
Now, it's 2023.
And I'm still here.
12 notes · View notes