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#tagging so i can find this post later lol

werewolfsmile · 2 days

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tysm for answering my qs about werewolf!eliot !! not to keep bugging you lol but i remember you mentioned in the tags of a post one time about a hc/au of parker being some sort of fae or otherworldly being who’s just kinda found herself here in the non-magical world - could you elaborate on that? like how come she’s in the non-fantasy part of the leverage universe, or whether the other characters know, etc? only if you want to of course, no pressure :) i’m really enjoying reading your posts about all these ideas!

You're welcome! And you're definitely not bugging me, I love getting the chance to ramble about my thought lol (werewolf!eliot post here) (link to the post and my tags that started this)

Honestly I don't have as clear ideas for Parker as I did for Eliot, but I imagine her being some kind of changeling or air/wind sprite that was left with humans for whatever reason.

(ooh i'm getting more ideas for this the more i think about it..)

okay, Parker is actually half-fey, half-human

no one really knows who her parents were or how she came to be on her own (me included lol), she was just found on a doorstep as a baby

the people who took her in had their own issues and the state eventually intervened and sent Parker into foster care

she found out at a very early age that she was different to other kids - she could move around without making a sound, she could fit into tiny spaces - all very helpful for a young girl in a foster system that was chewing her up and spitting her out

she also discovered that she could ... not turn invisible exactly, but she could be less visible if she wanted to be; all she has to do is think about not being seen and people's eyes just drift over her

Archie had absolutely no idea what she was when he got his hands on her, but even he knew that she was beyond just a gifted child

he only realised there was something magical about her after she fell off the roof of the warehouse he'd been training her in - then walked it off like it was no biggie

fey creatures love puzzles and riddles, so of course Parker has always had a natural affinity for puzzles (aka locks)

her super artistic talent is a trait that is Entirely Parker and, given that she entered a life of crime early and was surrounded by artistic masterpieces all the time, she never even considered that other people would draw/paint/whatever with any lower skill level

this contributes to her not understanding what the fuss is over art

she gave herself the name Parker when Archie met her and asked her name; it was the first thing that came to mind

she doesn't remember her birth name and isn't bothered by that in the slightest

Eliot was the first of the team to figure out she was fey - being a werewolf, he can smell and/or sense that kind of thing on others

Hardison suspected something was up with her, but then felt bad for thinking that, but then strange things kept happening around her so he started to keep a list ...

pretty much Hardison has a red-string conspiracy theory-style board of Parker Things. He's too terrified of offending her to ask her outright, but he's more convinced every day

(he's also more in love with her and just thinks her fey-ness is another thing to celebrate)

Parker finds Hardison's board of Parker Things and is utterly fascinated. It's like he understands her better than she understands herself. He's super flustered when he finds her poring over the board and tries to make excuses, but Parker's quick to steamroll over that and demands if he knows what she is

Eliot finds them 15 mins later, stuck in an endless loop of confusion over which of them actually knows what Parker is

he just rolls his eyes, says she's half-fey, it's obvious, like, "what? it's a very distinctive smell!"

which leads to how the hell would he know what the fey are and Eliot's like, oh crap, right, they still don't know I'm a werewolf whoops

Hardison and Parker stage a coming-out for her to Nate and Sophie

(Eliot refuses to be involved but still gets roped into carrying the banner. He's still finding glitter in his hair weeks later)

Sophie is thrilled about the reveal and confesses to being a siren (or some other supernatural/magical creature that can manipulate people, idk i have less thoughts about her than i do about parker)

Nate is all like are you kidding me right now what the hell is my life

after a lot of badgering, he confesses he didn't know about Parker, although he has been ... aware of magical beings for some time

no he will not be discussing this any further, can we just get back to the con now??

Parker finds that, now she's aware of her fey-ness, her magical abilities develop further

she doesn't quite gain the ability to fly but ... yeah okay, she can pretty much fly

she wants to test how far this flying ability goes - by, of course, jumping off tall buildings with Hardison in her arms (and no harness for either of them)

Hardison flat out refuses this, so Eliot somehow finds himself the unwilling victim

of course, Parker masters flying while carrying people in no time and proves it to Hardison by just grabbing him and jumping off a building one day

(he's still in therapy for it)

Parker also discovers she can make herself kind of ... misty

this skill is harder to learn but she's already been able to make her hand go misty and whoosh inside a lock

picking the lock is harder in this incorporeal state but Parker's instincts say there's a way to do this, so she keeps practising until she can pretty much disintegrate herself and float through locked doors to rematerialise on the other side

it's a nightmare for the whole team because, sure, it's not like locked doors stopped her in the past. But now she's so excited about it all the time that any concept of privacy completely leaves her brain and she jumps in and out of rooms and safes etc any time of day or night

Wow. This ended up longer than expected! Guess I did have some ideas about fey!Parker after all..

#parker leverage #leverage #fey #fey!parker #i need a tag to keep track of these...#leverage fantasy au #alec hardison #nate ford #sophie devereaux #eliot spencer #as always feel free to add your own ideas to any of this!#@ aardvaark sorry i didn't answer your questions about why parker ended up in the human world #just magic i guess #my posts #asks #sorry i forgot to include a link so i've edited this post ugh my bad

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codgod-moved · 2 years

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okay yeah here he is!!

notes + face without the glasses under the cut :p

- gas mask is because, while overworld air won’t kill him, it does tend to make netherborns sick. it’s assumed this is for the same reasons that piglins and hoglins zombify

- the claw thing is literally used to rip peoples hearts out. it doesn’t get used very often, the last time was probably over a hundred years ago, but it’s kept around as jewellery and for intimidating people

- he’s a prince in the same way that adventure time princesses are princesses aka he’s the sole ruler of his kingdom, no king or queen. princedom then i guess?

- the red gems are like. compressed netherack. the same way you can compress coal to make diamonds irl i guess

- don’t question the pants there is no tactical advantage to them besides maybe. better airflow in a hot environment?? but honestly i just thought they looked cool

- also don’t question the long hair idk why i did that but i’m glad i did. i didn’t draw it but i do imagine there’s some sort of ornate golden comb thing tucked into the top of the braid. you know the kind

#.png #can’t be bothered tagging this lol #anyways refer to that post abt my art being influenced by the fact that i’m gay #actually i’ll tag it so i can find it later #nether prince!tango #there we go #nptau #nptart

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antiendovents · 16 days

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY

YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH

I’ll grovel at your feet for you and call you a god and make sure that you have the best birthday ever

You’re fucking PERFECT

It’s me the supply anon. I want to be known lmao

BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU PERFECT BEING YOU

aah!! Yippe!! Hello!! Thank you!! ^_^ I'm gonna buy so many things with my birthday money!!! Thank you again! And hello again! :33

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everyitachi · 11 months

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Happy birthday Itachi!

Hi! It's me again Laetitia @beatriceportinari from @everyizuna.

To the surprise of no one I couldn't live too long without another little screencaps blog, and I've chosen Itachi for this next one!

This will be similar to how I ran everyizuna: 2 (now 3) queued posts per day until it runs out.

Again don't hesitate to send me an ask for any clarification abt the inclusion of a panel, or if you think I've missed one!

Big thanks to the person who let me have the url and happy screencaps summer,

-Laetitia

#now for the tags: once again every post will be tagged #naruto #uchiha itachi #and the chapter number #i'll just add #itachi uchiha #for this first post so itachi enthusiasts can find me #I'll also tag other characters if they show up in full #this will probably happen more here lol #anyway did the prepared tobirama blog fool you? sorry it was too tempting to plan out a meaningless trickery.#getting into the itachi spirit you understand #I did consider him! but itachi's birthday coming up was too tempting #maybe we'll get to tobirama later :)

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trashlie · 1 year

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ILY FP 210, 211, 212

WOOOOOOOF I’ve been holding off on writing this post, because I wanted to wait for this whole “episode” to fully come out. Quimchee revealed they were all meant to happen in one episode, but SO MUCH was happening in the episode that it was too long to do as the one. I... kind of wish I hadn’t waited because now there is SO MUCH for me to cover, so I’m going to do my best to keep this organized and coherent.

No lie, these go up there in my top episodes, especially 212. I have a feeling I might have some different feelings than others on this one...? We’ll see, I’m keen to hear how all of you are thinking and feeling about it. To me, these episodes really encapsulate a good 80% of the plot that we’ve been dealing with, and there’s some good reveals in here that have been a LONG time coming. I think everything is set up now for the time skip to come, and especially after all the events that transpired this arc (remember how this all started out so many moons ago with Nol going to the company Christmas party? That feels like it was years ago to what is happening now!) I am BEYOND excited to see what the time skips have in store for us!

Anyway, before I start spoiling things, let’s get into it!

Well and truly, I love this arc! It’s really capture so much of the story this bigger story has centered on - the relationship between Nol and Kousuke. This isn’t the root of the story, of course, but it’s a significant portion of what we’ve come to read for, I think, and I cannot tell you how much I love seeing the characters verbally acknowledge things they’ve swept under a rug.

212 felt especially raw to me - Kousuke’s confessions are tragic in the way of too little too late, and the realization that Nol was never against him, that he was always on the same side, that they could have been an incredible team may come to haunt him. That acknowledgement of his that nobody really liked him - no one else but the one person he had demeaned and devalued until he was truly nobody - really hit me like a sucker punch. I truly thought these were truths Kousuke wouldn’t be able to reach until he lost more, like his job or his sense of self, but I guess we can argue that he’s lost a lot of his sense of self; from the moment he punched Nol, it’s clear that he’s dissociating. That also serves to tell us how important this moment is for Kousuke, what it means to him, what Nol means to him.

Now, I’ll be upright honest with you guys, because I think this is where the difference of opinions will come in. I really enjoy stories with this kind of element of hatred and care so intricately interlaced in family or friends. There’s something about this sense of care being overwritten by jealousy so scathing it mutates into resentment and hatred and loathing. The way these two feelings battle out, the way ugly emotions are so strong they come to eclipse any hope for warmth. Idk it’s intriguing to me, it creates a compelling story.

And in Kousuke’s case, it is! A running theory has been that Kousuke treats Shinae the way he does because he is, subconsciously, treating her how he wishes he’d treated Nol. As the story went on and Kousuke’s ugliness started to come out more and more and his paranoia began to consume him, I think it was probably difficult for many to find credence in this theory - that there was no way Kousuke could have cared about Nol and transferred it to Shinae when he treated Nol how he did but I’m still here for the theory. It’s just that Kousuke’s ugliness was so strong, overwhelming, it eclipsed anything else.

Now I’m not saying I think Kousuke loves Nol or thinks of him as a brother, but rather I think deep down, he understood they were connected. As a child, Nol was the only person who didn’t treat Kousuke like an object - like a puppet or rich vending machine or influence to be gained. But how could Kousuke allow himself to think so favorably of Nol when he was so deeply rooted in jealousy?

This is what I find especially intriguing about their dynamic. Something I talk about a lot is that Nol and Kousuke are both the products of abuse - Kousuke is the way he is due to neglect and manipulation, and in turn he took that out on Nol. I’ve seen people say Kousuke doesn’t make sense to them, but he DOES and this episode really drove that home and confirmed a lot of things I’d felt.

Kousuke’s treatment of Nol all stems from Rand and his affair. Let’s look at it from Kousuke’s perspective. He has a father who is never around, and when he is he’s busy and always puts his career first. He rarely joins them for family time, there’s a rift between him and his wife. All young Kousuke wants is for his father to spend time with him, to be around, to notice him. His mother tells him things - if he’s a good boy Father will pay attention; if he wants his father’s attention he needs to be just like him; if he wants Father to care to notice he must be exactly like him. But his mother also says other thing - that there’s someone else, money is being wired to someone. At school people murmur similar things.

All he wants is his father’s approval, his father’s pride, his father’s attention, his father’s time. He must not be good enough, yet. He must not matter, yet. He’ll make sure he does, though. He’ll do exactly what his mother says, he’ll buckle down just like she tells him, he’ll make sure to become the perfect son that his father can be proud of.

So you can understand, then, why the discovery that the murmurs are true, that there’s another family, would shatter him the way it did, why it remains a point of breaking for him even as an adult, why he never really reconciles his father’s affair. How is it that the man who has no time for him or their family, had enough time to create a second family? Why was he so undeserving of his time? Why was he so undeserving of his attention?

And it rooted deep inside him, right in the core of his foundation. This other boy who describes his father as someone who couldn’t possibly be the same man as his father - a funny man, a kind man. That is not the father Kousuke knows, so why does this other child know him? (Never mind that this child has also never met that version of his father.) It all stems from that: a craving for something he’s never received.

Kousuke’s whole speech about how there was only one kind, sweet, generous, funny person in his life was the very person he attacked and tore down hit me HARD. His admission of fear, that he ACTUALLY ADMITTED TO BEING SCARED, that he’ll never be good enough for Rand, that nothing he would ever do would make him worthy of his attention actually hurt. This is the kind of thing I’ve been wanting Kousuke to acknowledge and embrace, because it’s the one thing that has been fueling and propelling him. He doesn’t do this job because he’s passionate about it - he does it because he’s still vying for love and attention. He didn’t forsake his childhood because he was above it - he literally sacrificed it for his father. Regardless of what you think about Kousuke now, it has to be acknowledged that he, too, has suffered. And let’s not pretend that Yui truly believed that Kousuke could win Rand’s affection this way - it still feels like it was a game for her, a manipulation to turn him into someone she could use to get her way, a puppet if you will. It’s fucking sad to think that he gave up everything because he was so determined to earn his father’s love, that his love and attention was believed to be so conditional he had to make himself worthy of it.

“I hate you for making me aware this person exists. And I hate your face being a constant reminder of it.”

So many times, Kousuke has berated Nol for his playful, joking behavior, for seeming so lax and carefree. I’d always thought it was jealousy that he didn’t have that kind of life, that he wasn’t allowed it - and that probably is still a part of it - but now we know that when Yeonggi laughed and played around, he was a vision of a version of Rand Kousuke had never known, a spitting image of a man Kousuke didn’t even know could exist.

And as Nol points out, it was all for naught. All of Kousuke’s jealousy and his fear, tearing down Nol so that he could instead get to know that version of Rand. All of it was for naught, because who knows if that man even exists? It seems like only one person ever knew her, and who’s to know if she didn’t make him up. Kousuke has spent his entire life - sacrificed his childhood, accelerated himself through school, forsook any fun or leisure - on a quest for a man who probably doesn’t exist, for something he’ll never achieve. He spent his whole life tearing down someone innocent trying to get to something he’ll never have.

I really thought it would take for Kousuke to lose it all, to stumble in his career before he’d realize it, but here he is.

But on the other side of that, we have Nol. Nol, who also lost - and lost more than Kousuke did. Nol who was isolated and alienated, Nol who tried time and time again to reach out and create a connection, and was refused every time. Nol who suffered under Kousuke and Yui’s watch over and over. Nol, who despite it all, still tried to treat Kousuke well, still tried to give him a chance, still tried to reach out to him at his most desperate.

I think that really illustrates something important: an understanding that there is a reason for Kousuke’s behavior and his paranoia, where it comes from, but that reason doesn’t justify. I can acknowledge both that Kousuke absolutely is the product of his environment and that he has been an asshole about it lol. Idk I can admit that my intrigue in his has grown a LOT.

These episodes have just tapped into something so deep that I love about this series - that our experiences heavily color our interpersonal relationships, as well as our relationships with our own selves. Nol notes that he, too, suffered, he, too, lost, he has been alone and alienated and despite it all he still tried, and he still attempted to be a good person, in contrast to Kousuke who let his suffering turn him into an asshole. It was kind of a hard-to-read moment, because Nol spoke the truth, and as much as I feel for Kousuke, Nol is right. Because he never attempted to deal with those ugly feelings, because he never chose to face them, because he instead wore them as armor, it became his identity, he became an asshole through those experiences. Had there ever been a moment that he could have met Nol in the middle, that he could have put aside his jealousy, that he could have turned off his Rand blinders, he could have seen what Nol was able to see earlier and more clearly. And isn’t that sad? They could have been a great team, they could have had each others’ back in a world where no one else did, they could have been there for each other, but Kousuke couldn’t cross that line.

Again, I fully acknowledge that Kousuke is the way he is because of those experiences. I acknowledge that this is the wake up call he needed, that he was forced to finally reckon with the truth.

But I also worry what will come of Kousuke as a result of Rand’s arrival. Is he going to backpedal? Is this going to short-circuit something and push him to double down, or is it going to free him?

Kousuke has spent his entire life trying to earn Rand’s favor, to earn his attention. Everything he has done has been an angle to get closer to his father. Like, when you break it all down, that’s the sad, basic truth. He was a child who so desperately wanted his father’s attention that his life became about that. And here comes Rand, showing up when it looks like Kousuke is running away. Rand who never had time for him, Rand who didn’t shower him with warmth and affection.

Rand who showed up and wailed “My son” in response to Nol.

That whole scene honestly hurts me. Nol is hurt, Rand is anguished and horrified, and Kousuke? Kousuke finally witnessing his father show a fatherly side - and it wasn’t for him. And not only that but Rand might not even believe that Kousuke was trying to get help, that he attempted to get Nol up but couldn’t. And does it even matter when the truth is that Kousuke DID cause this? I can’t imagine it was his intention - I don’t think his mind went “punch Nol and he’ll fall over the railing” as much as Nol tried to leave and Kousuke reacted on that. But the point still stands: even if it wasn’t his intention, this is still ultimately his fault. Nol goaded him on and played a part, but Kousuke was the hand that acted.

I fear that this will ruin what little relationship Kousuke has with Rand - and it’s a fear because it means Kousuke could swing in two wholly opposite directions. Does he double-down and return to the side of his mother, the only family member who has made him feel like someone’s child? I don’t think he’s at the point where he can extricate himself from the family, as good as it would be. And I worry that if that’s the case, will he double back down on his treatment and resentment of Nol? For this one moment, he saw that they were equals, that they both had a broken, shitty relationship with Rand. And then Rand showed up, showing that paternal side Kousuke has longed for.

As much as I WANT Kousuke to hold on to that moment, I don’t know that he can. I think the cracks have formed and I think his fragile reality is crumbling faster, but I fear he’ll retreat back into the “comfort” of the world he knows.

Here’s the thing about Kousuke: on some level he knows. He knows that Yui isn’t great, he knows that she has done awful things, he knows that Nol did no wrong, he knows that Rand will probably never change. But these are such uncomfortable truths and he has spent his life propped up by a false reality. This was pointed out by AugmentedElle on reddit, but look at the difference in Kousuke’s flashbacks. Look at the memory in 210 vs 212. The flashback in 210 is the strongest, most vibrant memory we’ve yet seen. Ordinarily they’re in some kind of grey scale, or at least muted colors, sometimes with spot color like in Shinae’s. In Nol and Kousuke’s flashbacks thus far, we’ve seen those muted colors or alterations - Nessa’s face appearing scribbled out in Kousuke’s memories, just as in 212. The use of color suggests that the memory in 210 is, quite possibly, fabricated. It starts out with Kousuke dazed, unable to remember what just happened, and Yui comes in and tells him he won’t have to see that boy for a long time. It feels like something happened - that perhaps Kousuke did something (the huffing that parallels his huffing after he punches Nol in the current story) and blocked it out or whited out and Yui came in and gave him an iteration of the story. It’s the strongest memory because it didn’t come from him - because it was filled in and colored in by someone else. The whole time we’ve thought Nol had perhaps been pushed to the bring, that Kousuke instigated a fight and Nol snapped, but maybe it was never Nol. Maybe the whole time Kousuke has associated Nol with danger and violence - because he was wired to think that way. That whatever happened and lead to that moment was so traumatic he doesn’t have the real memory, and instead carries a fabrication.

And that is essentially the basis of Kousuke’s entire life. Regardless of intent, Yui does manipulate Kousuke. She says things knowing full-well the effect they’ll have. Consider that moment with Nol and Nessa vs Yui in Kousuke’s flashback in 212. He watches Nessa blow raspberries on Nol’s cheek, a warm and silly exchange full of so much love and care - and then he looks up at Yui, who wears her maternal mask, shadows falling eerie over her face. Doesn’t it feel so much like she set this up? Doesn’t it feel like she knew Nessa and Nol would be around? She fills his head with things like “the only way to get your father’s attention is to be just like him” and “we’re not like other families we’re so special” and “isn’t it just so wonderful that rand at least has enough time to eat with us”? That’s not vouching for Rand - that’s passive aggression towards Rand and creating an idea of who Rand is - that Rand unwittingly lives up to. Despite speaking of the affair in front Kousuke, she turns and tells him that “Your father values us too much, he would never do such a thing” - a blatant lie that only plays into that feeling Kousuke wears that he’s been cheated, that there exists a version of his father that has been denied to him. Nessa tells Nol that Rand was a kind, sweet, generous, funny man. Yui tells Kousuke that Rand is anything but funny and he has no time for jokes. Maybe both are true, but Nol’s unintentionally makes a point about how Yui speaks of Kousuke’s father, vs how Yui spoke of Nol’s father. Why would a parent speak ill of the other parent -- if not to make the child see them that way.

(She also tells him there’s nothing she hates more than people who don’t take things seriously, and well, look at how Kousuke came out.)

There’s a fragile cognitive dissonance between what Kousuke knows to be true - that is, the reality that has been shaped by his experiences and Yui’s manipulation - vs actual reality, and we’ve seen this a number of times when various events threaten that tentative balance. Kousuke at the club, angry and paranoid, is aware of what people really think of him. Deep down he knows people don’t see him as great, as an honorable gentleman. Deep down he knows he’s a selfish, judgmental asshole, but it doesn’t fit the fabricated reality he believes in, so it only comes out in his paranoia. He knows that Nol is like him, that he didn’t have the love Kousuke coveted, that he tried to get by quietly, but Kousuke’s fear and paranoia still thought of him as the boy who had earned the love that Kousuke couldn’t, and that made him a threat. He knows what kind of person Yui is and has tried to draw boundaries, but he’s still told her things about Nol that she could act on, because he knows what she is capable of. When people or events fracture that reality, he struggles and lashes out, because he needs that reality to keep it together, but it’s crumbling fast.

Between the phone call with Rand and the moment that Rand shows up on the scene - what is the state of Kousuke’s reality? Is it crumbling? Is he trying to stuff the crumbling rocks back into the foundation? Will he retreat to his mother, the only one who can keep the tint of his rose colored glasses or will he be forced to face reality for what it really is? I wish it would be the latter, but I just don’t know if he’s ready for it yet. I don’t know if he can face that which he’s run from this whole time just yet.

As for Nol, woooooooof. What a fucking NIGHT. To think - THIS IS HIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY. On the one hand, I think, maybe this can give him some kind of peace. He’s finally gotten a piece of Kousuke’s mind, he finally knows how Kousuke sees him, what he thinks of him, and what motivated him all these years. Maybe with this knowledge, Nol will be able to walk away in peace. He doesn’t have to wonder anymore. He knows where he stands - and where he’s always stood - and I think he’s made it clear that he’s drawn his line. He is done, he is finished, with all of them. If Kousuke can find his way to the other side of the line, then good for him, but Nol has no intention of trying to bring him over anymore.

I do think there’s a lot of room for them to reconcile in the future - when Nol’s raw anger has maybe ebbed, when Kousuke has found himself and learned to stand on his own ground, rather than prop himself up by his fabricated reality. But they are far from there. I’ve said before that I had a feeling maybe we’ll see the three main characters reunite in the time skip as adults after having gone separate ways, and that feeling still lingers. Nol has made it clear that he still wants to get away - and frankly I think he needs to. I wish he’d say so much to his friends, I wish he’d tell them where they stand. I feel so bad for Shinae, who went through so much grief and angst and really put herself out there to bring him back, to get her closure - and then when she had it and was ready to let him go, he insisted on staying. For him to turn around and leave like that again, after everything she told him, after the ways she opened up to herself, god that must hurt a lot. I guess on the one hand, she got the closure she wanted but.... it wasn’t even that long ago that Nol was making jabs at Kousuke for abandoning his friends, and there he goes doing it a SECOND time.

There’s a piece I’d love to give more time and thought to - that maybe all along, on a deep, subconscious level, Kousuke feared Nol leaving and that’s why he’s always acted when Nol was on the leave. If Nol leaves he’ll be truly alone. If Nol goes, there is truly no one left who ever liked him, who ever saw any value in him. This post is already long enough, so I’ll try to spit that out later this week, if I can. I think it’s not a coincidence that Kousuke punched Nol as he was leaving, that he didn’t bring himself to do it when Nol promised he’d leave, just as he let Yui know Nol was planning to leave. Maybe he doesn’t recognize it yet, but I think Kousuke is terrified of being left alone and Nol escaping without him.

Like I said, more on that later, but it’s an important point that I think ties in really well with this relationship Kousuke has towards Nol. It’s complicated, fucked up, toxic, and messy, and it needs a LOT of untangling by professional help. But I do think these last episodes really set something up for Nol and Kousuke’s future - as much as there is so much resentment and anger between them, there’s a mutual sense of longing, of needing each other to fill a void: for Nol, he sought out a brother in Kousuke, a companion against the adults in their lives; for Kousuke, that knowledge that Nol, too, had suffered that neglect, and was the only person who had ever truly liked him. I think one day when that anger has died, when they’ve made peace and hopefully worked on themselves, when Kousuke has freed himself, I think there’s a chance they will be able to reconcile. Like I said, maybe they’ll never be family to each other; there’s so much damage there, it’s really possible that can never be undone. But I think at some point, at least, they will see themselves on the same side, rather than each other.

#I Love Yoo #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Brainrot #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Kousuke Hirahara #Rand #Yui Hirahara #one day I'll replace my Rand tag with his full name but I can never remember it #lol as you can see this is v v heavy on the brothers and their relationship with each other #i want to maybe do a post later where i point out little individual bits i've enjoyed in these episodes or little details that stuck out to #I REALLY want to write more about their dynamic as brothers but woooof we'll see if i wind up finding the time to write everything i want ;A #i just feel SO STRONGLY about this current arc it's EVERYTHING i've been waiting for and i just have so many thoughts that are all over the #place and it's sooooo had to wrangle them into one place!!!!!!!!!#(I think this is why I like when people send asks - it helps me concentrate on one point lol)#Basically I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the content quimchee is feeding us the insight into Kousuke i have been DESPERATE #for this part of Rand the continued hints to Yui and Kousuke's relationship #and yknow even if you don't like a character (at least for me personally) i can often still find empathy #and man i feel for Kousuke in this one #all these truths he's finally releasing all these fears he's facing and one that literally materializes in front of him????#holy shit that's gotta hurt ouchies for EVERYONE #CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS ALL ON NOL'S BIRTHDAY?!#CAN YOU BELIEVE HIS LAST NIGHT BEFORE PRISON HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY IS GOING DOWN LIKE THIS?!#jesus CHRIST #ILY Commentary

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exeggcute · 5 months

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sometimes i get so mad about online advertising being so lawless compared to other mediums (ex. television ads occupying specific spots in programming or a small fraction of the screen while online ads can sprawl wherever the hell they want And bog down computer performance) i find myself wishing for someone to enact legislation leading to their regulation, but how likely of a possibility do you think that actually is?

it depends tbh. we do have related stuff like CCPA and GDPR (obligatory meme that I have saved on my phone:)

...so it's not impossible for further laws/regulations to crop up down the line. my main thoughts here are that (1) adtech changes so rapidly that I think any specific legislation is almost certainly doomed to become obsolete before long (compounded further by the fact that most lawmakers barely seem to understand the internet, let alone a fucking RTB supply chain lol), (2) enforcement would be a nightmare considering there are literally several hundred billion bid requests generated EVERY SINGLE DAY (googled this stat to make sure I wasn't misremembering and got another dr. fou link lol. can't escape this guy) and (3) believe it or not, the online advertising industry is largely self-governing... or at least tries to be.

an organization called the IAB (interactive advertising bureau) sets a ton of standards around not only the logistics of buying and selling ads (they are, for example, the creators of the OpenRTB protocol for real-time auctions), but also the quality of the ads and ad space being sold. there are tons of initiatives they've proposed that have widespread buy-in among the industry, like ads.txt, which everybody who's anybody uses these days.

you do, of course, have to buy in to what the IAB is metaphorically selling, but their decrees hold a lot of weight among all sections of the ads supply chain—both reputable buyers and reputable sellers regularly adjust their behavior based on IAB guidelines. for example, two of the things you mentioned:

"ads can sprawl wherever they want": the IAB has about a million guidelines for where ads can physically go on a page, how they can run (e.g., video ads must be muted by default or they aren't IAB compliant), and what percentage of the visual real estate they can use up. publishers obviously can and do violate these guidelines, but third-party tools exist to make sure your ads aren't running on pages that pull that shit. and as a rule, advertisers actively dislike buying ad space on awful cluttered pages because they know the pages are shitty and the impressions are less valuable.

"big down computer performance": people call those heavy ads! the IAB sets standards around ad performance (the lighter the better, basically) and google chrome even implemented a feature that automatically kills heavy ads before they eat up your whole CPU. some performance based-issues are also caused by malvertising which is uhhh a whole other thing but no one likes it and everyone who matters is trying to stop it.

which isn't to be naive here or an industry shill or whatever because Fucking Obviously these problems persist. I actually had to email the advertising division at conde nast recently because I kept getting malicious redirect ads on their mobile site (they haven't responded yet... return my calls bitch!) so clearly even well-meaning reputable websites and ad platforms and advertisers continue to have issues with IVT and whatnot. the struggle is eternal.

but arguably so is the struggle against basically anything that's legislated, like property crime or whatever. I'm admittedly not optimistic that formal laws would fix digital advertising, only put a slightly hotter fire under people's asses to clean up their respective acts better. which is certainly a good thing, it's just a rapidly evolving game where the bad actors are always coming up with new tactics.

fun and related example: I read a recent retrospective about the kids behind the mirai botnet, which originally started out as a DDoS-for-hire scheme but pivoted to ad fraud when it turned out that was way more profitable. possibly the largest botnet ever (don't quote me on that though) and it was spun up by three teenagers!!!

#adtech #I need to go back and tag all these types of posts so I can find them later lol

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bigcats-birds-and-books · 9 months

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Ambitions, or; What I'd Like To Read By End Of Year.

Behold: (Part of) my TBR! I wanted to reorganize books today, and I figured while I was moving things around I might as well put them in stacks of To Be Imminently Read.

The top four are the last of my Driscoll-adjacent reads to see me through the end of August (I might end up doing Split Tooth before then, too!). Then some writing stuff for a Between Projects Palate Cleanser, and then Hench through One Hundred Years of Solitude is my gearing-up-for-NaNo stack (not featured: Vicious and Vengeful, currently boxed up, but will reread). Babel and Bitch Queen are for after NaNo!

#books #book stacks #tbr #nano 2023 #wf #(we tag it so we can find it later lol)#in btw #driscoll #i will also likely do a bot reread post nano as a Victory Reward!!#AND PREP FOR SYSTEM COLLAPSE!!!!!#never mind also that i have to read a friend's book and provide feedback in sept....#hnngh #a bunch of these books are actually very short at least #(to make up for a bunch also being Very Long)#but i don't think i'll be doing as much holiday knitting this year as last year so that should be fine??? like i can just. read. in decembe #*Read Guilt Free in December lmao #because i won't be working on a writing project then #wow i wish i had more time in a day #but that said i do think this is a doable stack #i've been on a fucking roll this year #and i'll have two months of Read Fiction NaNo Prep and that should be enough time for that stack #currently i'm writing a zillion tags so i don't have to decide to either knit/show or read lmaoo

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chibishortdeath · 6 months

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Hehehehehehe, very very recent artwork this time >:3c. I’ve been doodling some concepts for a game lately and trying to figure out RPG Maker 2003. Hopefully it goes well and I actually ever finish it oof, but here’s the main silly goober character. His name is Miran. :3

Awkward vignette on these cause Instagram and bad lighting lol.

#art post #my art #my ocs #original story #I genuinely don’t know what else to tag this cause I haven’t even shown my OCs here before wow #i completely forgor whoops #I’ll show you guys some of my other characters sometime later if I can find some nice art of them in my phone gallery lol #but yeah hehehehehe horror game man #I feel so bad about starting projects cause I never finish anything big like this ughhhhhhh #hoping this one does get finished tho I’m having fun with it rn #I don’t wanna spoil too much tho #just in case >:3 #tw medical imagery #horror character

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