#taehyung ghost au

[justimajin]

House of the Haunted

Genre: Fluff & Comedy

↳ 3.5k / Supernatural AU (inspired from Hotel Transylvania)

[Includes: Vampire! Yoongi, Werewolf! Jungkook, Ghost! Namjoon, Demon! Jimin, Angel! Hoseok, Warlock! Taehyung, Faerie! Seokjin, Human! Reader]

Summary: It's Halloween and the Council of the Haunted have convened together for a very important and highly classified discussion - there's a *whispers* human on the premises.

A/N: I was originally going to post this for Halloween, but it unfortunately got a bit delayed. It's just meant to be a fun story for spooks and laughs. Happy (Belated) Halloween! 🎃

The front door creaks open. 

The mansion is nothing short of grand, lined with expansive black marble floors and dark wooden walls. There are ebony crystals hanging down from the dimly lit chandelier, connected right above the old spiral staircase that’s decorated with small oil lamps. The wind ever so whistles against the grey murky windows, echoing through the emptiness of the haunting infrastructure. 

Amongst the different doors next to the staircase, only one is brightly lit. 

A tall man dressed in lavish purple robes shuffles forward, his eyes darting around. There’s a sudden change in the air, akin to a low draft he feels against his back that his keen senses pick up on right away. 

“Taehyung.” A voice whispers into the night and he swivels, robes cascading around him as he does. “You came.” 

His lips pull up into a cheeky smile, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

The transparent man before him gyrates around, his feet floating an inch off the ground.

“Follow me.” 

Taehyung obliges, trailing after him. 

“You know, Seokjin will be very pleased to see you too.” 

Taehyung deeply chuckles, fingertips absent-mindly playing with the mist that radiates out of them. “I’m sure he will be.” 

He’s led into a large dining room, the very one that is brightly lit. In the middle of it sits a long outstretched table that’s entirely covered with a black tablecloth and with candlelight decor. There are seven wooden chairs lining the table and accompanying, seven golden chalices. 

It’s a room he’s become very familiar with over the course of the last couple of months. Namely, ever since one fateful day when he was granted a hand-crafted invitation with intricate writing and symbols. At the time, he truthfully wasn’t quite sure to expect, or rather, who to expect. 

His answer came without another thought and it took the form of an old, but peculiarly cheery Faerie man – the very one seated at the head of the table and examining a chalice before him. 

“Warlock Kim Taehyung has arrived.” The voice booms into the room, making Seokjin look up. 

The Faerie man rises to his feet, addressing the transparent man. 

“Thank you, Namjoon.” He nods in confirmation, before wafting back into the breeze and exiting the room. 

Seokjin spins around with a big grin, “Taehyung!” 

“You haven’t changed a bit.” Taehyung remarks, giving the man a swift hug. “Though, your way of sending invites has gotten really interesting.” 

He twirls his fingers and a piece of paper emerges, landing in his hands. He envelopes it, eyes focused on the written words. “A call for all supernatural beings to meet, for the Council of the Haunted to convene once more for urgent matters–”

Taehyung snickers, “You write like you’re a hundred years old already.”

“I was trying to be formal!” Seokjin protests, irises glimmering with specks of pink. 

Taehyung raises a playful brow, “A Faerie trying to be courteous? Now that’s funny.” 

Seokjin shakes his head with a sigh, “Sit down, will you? I’m going to have more guests to tend to.” 

Taehyung non-chantently hums, eyeing the wine in the centre of the table with intrigue. The former Faerie hears more footsteps, and he hurriedly leaves the room altogether. 

Making his way to the front door, Seokjin is met with the sight of Namjoon surrounded by others. 

“Well, well, who do we have here?” He piques, mischievousness brimming in his voice.

Two men appear before him – contrasting like day and night. 

One of them has swept violet hair and dark ebony wings sticking out from his back. A dark red beam within his orbs and there’s a soft smile lingering on his lips. The other has a mop of brown hair and a pair of white wings. He holds a deep scowl, arms crossed and his blue eyes stern. 

“Demon Park Jimin and Angel Jung Hoseok have arrived.” Namjoon announces from behind, appearing a bit frazzled from the duo’s sudden appearance. 

“The Council of the Haunted, huh?” Hoseok remarks, “You haven’t called us here in ages.” 

Jimin peers around, “The decor is really nice, did you remodel the place?” 

Seokjin merely laughs, immediately engulfing the two into a hug. “It’s been a while, you two!” 

Hoseok grumbles and Jimin giggles. “Come on in! Taehyung’s already here.” 

He steps to the side, gesturing the two men forward. They enter the grand dining room with Namjoon’s assistance, taking spots at opposite sides of the table. 

Seokjin comes up behind Namjoon. “That makes three – who are we missing now?” 

“The vampire and werewolf.” Namjoon utters, grimacing a bit. “I was informed today was a full moon.” 

“Of course it is.” Seokjin sighs, glancing at his present guests. “We’ll have to wait a bit longer.” 

Taehyung raises his chalice of wine with a grin. “M’kay with me.” 

“Wait, I have to sit here longer?” Hoseok recoils, “With him?” 

Jimin sweetly smiles. “How interesting. I share the same sentiments.” 

The Faerie narrows his eyes, “Taehyung, that wine is supposed to be for everybody.” He turns to his ghostly friend, whispering underneath his breath. “Namjoon, can you make sure those two don’t cause a brawl on my dining table?” 

He immediately nods, effortlessly floating over to the table. Seokjin turns around with a huff, planting his hands against his waist. 

At this point, anyone who will arrive will be considered late. He should have considered this, knowing that some of his members simply had the tendency to be forgetful and– 

“Greetings.” 

His heart nearly jumps out of his chest at the low voice behind him, wide pink orbs coming into contact with a red-eyed man with midnight hair and long incisors sticking outside of his teeth. 

“Oh gosh–” Seokjin presses a hand against his heart, attempting to calm himself. “It’s just you, Yoongi.” He huffs, “For a moment, you had me scared there.” 

The vampire looks at him impassibly, “Sorry about that.” 

Seokjin shakes it off, “Don’t worry about it.” He stares at him intently, tilting his head to the side in amusement. “I didn’t think you would come. What changed your mind?” 

Yoongi seems to hesitate for a split-second, before mumbling the words. 

“You said there would be others here….I was curious.”

The corners of Seokjin’s mouth upturn and he watches as the vampire silently trails over to the dining table, carefully taking a seat amongst the table. He was really interesting – that was for sure. 

Suddenly, a howl breaks through and echoes into the walls of his home. He swivels around, just in time to catch the faintest blur of caramel brown fur. 

There’s an enormous wolf launching itself against him, practically pouncing onto the poor defenceless Faerie man before he has the chance to say anything. 

“Okay, okay, I get it!” He scolds, pushing him away. “Jungkook, get off of me!” 

The caramel brown wolf whines loudly, as if in utter protest. Seokjin deeply sighs, petting his head rather awkwardly. 

“There! You happy now?” 

The wolf seems to let out a pleased howl, before its paw hits against the marbled floor. Within a couple of seconds, its bones begin to crack and a young man with crinkled golden eyes and a huge bunny smile stares back at him. 

“Hi hyung!” He chuckles and Seokjin grins lop-sidley, “Thanks for inviting me.” 

“Thanks for coming, JK.” Seokjin turns to Namjoon, leading Jungkook in. “Everyone’s here!” 

Jungkook brightens up, “Namjoon! It’s so nice seeing you again.”

The ghost man stares back at him wide-eyed as Jungkook loudly cackles, throwing his head back. Seokjin ends up pushing at his shoulders to get him to sit down in one of the chairs. 

“Haha, veryy original.” He sarcastically retorts, moving to take his seat at the head of the table. Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook get seated on his right side, while Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi remain on the other. 

He ushers for everyone to raise their chalices. 

Seokjin clears his voice. “We have all gathered here today for a very important matter to discuss.”

Jungkook raises his hand, “Have you finally decided to remodel the meeting room to look less worse?” 

He scoffs, “No.” 

“Are you considering taking a step down and letting someone with purer intentions take over?” Hoseok remarks. 

Seokjin sighs, “No.” 

“Is this about the time I accidentally turned one of your workers into a goblin?” Taehyung ponders. 

“What? No.” 

“Is this when I forgot to turn your goblin back into your worker?” 

“Tae, no–” 

“Is this when the goblin wrecked havoc on–” 

“Okay, then!” Seokjin loudly coughs underneath his breath, a bright smile plastering on his features. There’s a sudden build up of pressure into the room, as if a hazy wave had crossed over everyone’s mind. 

His irises tinge with pink and the room is taken aback with a command, all members in his group visibly relaxing more than before. 

“This is so cool.” Jimin whispers, specks of pink dwindling in his own eyes. 

“Stop trying to toy with us and get to the point.” Hoseok barks, shaking his head with a huff. 

Seokjin grins wickedly, “Now that I finally do have your attention, there is something urgent to discuss.” Taehyung raises his hand again, but Seokjin glares at him, causing him to lower it, “This matter is of utmost importance and I believe it will affect all of us sooner or later.” 

Six sets of rounded eyes stare back at him. 

He drops the ball, “I have discovered….a human in my home.” 

A sharp, collective gasp echoes through the room. 

Jimin and Hoseok glance at each other wide-eyed while Taehyung presses a hand against his chest. Jungkook stares back at Seokjin with doe eyes as Namjoon shrinks back and Yoongi takes a sip out of his chalice filled with wine. 

“You should have started with that!” Taehyung protests. 

“Well, maybe you all hadn’t been – Oh, I don’t know – interrupting me constantly, then I would have!” Seokjin exclaims. 

“How could you let a human in here?!” Hoseok hisses, aware only the supernatural kind were granted permission. 

“This is why I have gathered all of you here.” Seokjin speaks a bit softer, “I would like some opinions about the matter and to frankly, form my own.” 

Namjoon floats forward, “We had discovered her a while ago wandering outside around the mansion. She seemed lost, as if she had nowhere to go.” 

“And?” Hoseok raises a brow, “You thought letting her in here was a good idea?” 

“I don’t think it's too bad.” Jimin objects, “They were just trying to help.” 

“Help a human? Out of all people?!” 

Taehyung bites his bottom lip, “What if...the human tries to kill us?” 

“I wouldn’t take it that far.” Jimin reasons, “Humans aren’t too dangerous.” 

Jungkook leans back in his chair, gold eyes flickering as if recalling a fond memory. “My girlfriend used to be human and tried killing me once.” 

Hoseok deeply frowns, “That’s not something to be proud of, JK.” 

He huffs, “We lived happily ever after, thank you very much.” 

“Someone’s a hopeless romantic.” Taehyung chuckles underneath his breath and Jungkook sends him a glare. 

“Well, I for one, don’t trust it.” Hoseok states, crossing his arms. “Humans should be monitored because of how fickle they can be.” 

Jimin snorts as he sips his wine, “That’s a lot coming from you.” 

Hoseok venomously glowers at him. 

“You got something to say, demon?” 

Jimin smiles wistfully. “I don’t know, it just seems like a lot coming from an angel that’s been notoriously involved with a female demon.” 

Namjoon lets out an audible gasp. Jungkook’s doe eyes increase in size and Yoongi spins his head around. Taehyung leans forward with gleaming eyes and Seokjin leans back, taking a sip of his wine.

Hoseok blushes, flustered from all the sudden attention. “T-Then what about you, huh? Why don’t you tell everyone how fond you are of humans?!” 

Taehyung revolves his head around, staring at Jimin with amusement now. Seokjin sips more of his wine, intrigued by the direction of the conversation. 

“What can I say?” He cheekily smiles. “Humans are very kind and loving. I have no regrets.” 

“Why you–” 

“H-Hyung!” Jungkook looks at Yoongi in desperation. The poor werewolf is caught sitting next to the bickering angel and demon, their interactions almost making him feel like they very well arguing over his own two shoulders. “W-What do you think about all this?”

Yoongi leans forward, clearing his throat. “Humans can be very violent and destructive, if swayed in the wrong direction. However, they can be compassionate. It’s something can take decades, even years to be able to find the right one–” 

“Not all of us wait for our significant others to be reincarnated, hyung.” Taehyung comments with a smile.

“T-That’s beautiful, hyung.” Jungkook whispers while sniffling. 

Taehyung looks at Jimin with a grin, mouthing ‘hopeless romantic’. The demon loudly giggles, causing Jungkook to scoff. 

“Hey, it is! Do you know how long it takes to find the one you love?” He proclaims, “They could literally be your best friend and you wouldn’t even realize it!” 

“Okay, JK’s started to project. Anyone else?” Seokjin looks around the table, growing bored with the conversation. 

His dancing pink eyes land on Taehyung. “How about you?” 

“What about me?” Taehyung gulps the last of his wine. 

“You have a human partner, no?” 

Taehyung smiles amused. “Do I? Who knows?” 

“Oh, stop being so secretive and mysterious.” Hoseok rolls his eyes. 

“I’m a warlock, angel.” Taehyung snaps his fingers, mist sparkling around that Hoseok waves off with a disgusted look. “I don’t let out my secrets so easily.” 

“Okay, so Taehyung’s still as hard-headed as ever.” Seokjin glances over at Namjoon, an unamused hand planted against his face. “Any progress?” 

“Two members have vouched for the human and two are against,” He looks up with a frown, staring at Taehyung, “and I believe one is undecided…?” 

“So it’s a tie.” Seokjin heaves, pressing a hand against his temples, “How am I ever going to make a decision?” 

“What’s going on?” 

The entire room plunges into an uncomfortable silence. 

Everyone slowly turns to the entrance of the grand room, line of sight redirecting to the person attached to the quiet voice that echoes into the chamber. 

Your eyes are as wide as ever, taking in the grand table and the chalices of wine in front of the seven interesting individuals. There’s a mix of different coloured eyes staring back at you, paired with intricate features like wolf ears, fangs, mist, and wings. Among them, a human-like man with pink orbs is the only one you recognize. 

“Seokjin?” You wonder, “Are these your friends?” 

“Y/N.” Although he smiles, it doesn’t completely reach his eyes. You wonder if you interrupted something, especially with how they all stare at you like you were supernatural.

Seokjin glances around, continuing to smile, “Something like that.” 

“O-Oh, that’s nice. What were you guys talking about?” 

You stare at the pink-eyed man, not noticing how the angel uncomfortably shifts, or how the demon smiles in your direction. You don’t notice the werewolf staring at you naively, or the intrigue the vampire holds. You especially don’t notice the warlock pushing his wine closer to himself, or the floating man that looks at you in wonder. 

“Um…” Hoseok warily peers at Taehyung. 

“Don’t mind me.” He swipes away at Hoseok’s drink with mist, causing Jimin to laugh. 

“Hey!” 

“Shhh.” Jungkook chides, accidentally letting out a howl in the process.

“Take mine.” Yoongi offers. “I prefer blood.”

“Y/N!” Seokjin chimes in, stern pink orbs locking onto his table of supernaturals who immediately pipe down. His arm wraps around your shoulder, a charming smile on his lips. 

“How about you wait outside, hm? Things are a bit…unearthly here.” 

“Oh…okay!” You chirp, “I don’t mind, I hope you have fun with your friends.” 

Seokjin nods, smiling unmovingly. He quickly guides you outside, before looking over in Namjoon’s direction urgently, who floats over to your side. 

The two of you leave the room and Seokjin continues to smile until the door shuts. 

He spins around. 

“Would you all calm down?!” He hisses, taking the wine out of Taehyung’s hands and instantly separating the members, “Didn’t I already tell you she’s human?” 

“And?” Hoseok retaliates, “You’re the most human looking out of all of us!” 

“Yeah!” Taehyung preaches, “You’re biased towards her.” 

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “For your kind information, I’m actually half human which is why I don’t look completely like a Faerie!” 

He gestures to his ears, which should have sharper pointed ends but take on a human-like appearance instead. 

“Biased! I’m calling it!” Taehyung says again. 

“Wait hyung, then why do you need our help?” Jungkook questions, “Wouldn’t it be easier for you to figure it out by yourself?” 

“I needed opinions.” He states, crossing his arms. “Despite being half-human, it isn’t as easy making decisions regarding them.” 

“Well, I think she’s nice. Doesn’t seem too harmful.” Jimin pitches in. 

“Yeah, I wasn’t quaking in fear.” Hoseok retorts. 

“She’s not a werewolf slayer, I’ll tell you that.” Jungkook states with uttermost seriousness. 

 Yoongi shrugs, “Don’t think she’ll reincarnate anytime soon either.”

“Can I turn her into a goblin?” Taehyung lets his intrusive thoughts out, but Seokjin frowns. 

He regards all of them, “I appreciate the penny for your thoughts,” His voice deepens, sounding borderline threatening “–and Taehyung, no.”

He pouts and Seokjin sighs, standing at the front of the table once again. 

“I have made my decision and it will be final – Y/N be allowed to stay in this home until we can recover where she came from.” 

A low laugh escapes your lips. 

“Is something wrong?” Namjoon wonders and you shake your head. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. You just have a really interesting group of friends.” 

“Ah, well, we are all quite interesting, aren’t we?” Namjoon chuckles, before fumbling. “Uh, n-not in a suspicious way, of course. In a more human-like way, with human lifespans and human way of livin–” 

“You’re all supernaturals, right?” 

Namjoon freezes. 

“Y-You knew?”

“It was quite obvious from the start.” You laugh, “Also, I heard Seokjin mumbling something along the lines of getting the creatures of the night to gather together just like the good ol’ tales.” 

Your laughter grows as Namjoon places a sheepish hand against his temples. 

He sighs, “Well, you aren’t wrong about any of that.” 

“And what about you?” He turns, only to be met with your curious gaze and warm smile. 

He grows hyper aware, “W-What about me?” 

“I could hear them talking earlier.” You explain, gaze not leaving him. “Are you like the others? Do you have a human counterpart too?”

Namjoon is taken aback, not quite expecting you to ask. But then his smile diminishes, hints of anguish filling his orbs. 

“I used to, but she crossed over not too long ago.” He looks down at his hands, his transparency only becoming more evident by the minute. “I’m just a wandering ghost now.” 

Your heart sinks. “Wandering?” 

“Regrets.” Namjoon shuts his eyes, “I’m tethered to this world because of my last regret – which had to do with my dead wife.” 

“Oh…” Your eyes soften. “I….I hope she’s in a better place.” 

“She is.” Although remorseful, you notice the hope that fills his smile. It results in one lifting onto your own lips. 

The doors before suddenly come bustling open, startling the two of you. 

Seokjin emerges, brimming with confidence. 

“There you are!” He boasts, “A final decision has been made!”

Namjoon looks at him eagerly, “Is she staying?” 

“She is, but–” Seokjin waves a finger around. “As long as she follows the rules and… accepts our true identities.” 

“Oh, I already know you’re supernaturals.” You profess, much to Seokjin’s utter shock.

“She knows?!” Hoseok’s voice pitches out from the table. 

“Humans are smarter than you give them credit for.” Jimin snorts. 

“Well, that’s my cue to go.” Taehyung snaps his fingers, vanishing into purple smoke. 

“I-I guess that answered my concern.” Seokjin stutters, staring at you with a mix of surprise and horror. 

“Thank you for letting me stay.” You warmly smile, glancing in Namjoon’s direction. “It’ll be nice getting to know all of you." 

He smiles back and Seokjin nods, widening the door and allowing you to enter into the dining room. 

“Supernaturals are a bit peculiar around humans.” Seokjin states, placing another chair at the table, “But hopefully you’ll fit in with time.” 

You slip into it, taking the seat of the eighth member amongst the large table. 

Leaning back into the chair, there are specks of pink dancing within your irises. 

“Don’t worry.” You grin wickedly, “I think I’ll fit in just fine.”

#bts fanfic #bts fluff #yoongi vampire au #jungkook werewolf au #jimin demon au #hoseok angel au #namjoon ghost au #taehyung warlock au #seokjin faerie au #yoongi fluff #jungkook fluff #jimin fluff #hoseok fluff #namjoon fluff #taehyung fluff #seokjin fluff #bts supernatural au #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts x reader

[bangtanloverboys]

tell my story // kth

summary -  reading hundred year old unsent love letters feels bittersweet, especially so when the writer is standing behind you, telling you even more about the letters

pairing - ghost!taehyung x psychic!reader

genre - angst, fluff; ghost au

word count - 1.4k

warnings - supernatrual easter eggs, mentions of death

author’s note - i came up with this when i was an intern achivist last year; the place was haunted most definitely

tagged - @jeontier​

the ghost of you masterlist

All your life, you’ve seen and heard things that weren’t there. Your parents, like any other, just assumed their child simply had an overactive imagination, making up imaginary friends. But as you got older, you never seemed to stop and it only got weirder. You’d see things in your sleep, you mood constantly fluctuated, and you just always seemed to know things; things that you definitely shouldn’t have known at all. Like the state of your parents’ bills, the history of random strangers passing you by and who they recently lost. 

Your father wanted to send you to therapy, but your mother (ever the believer) thought you were psychic. 

Three meetings with the local psychic medium Pamela Barnes, she said with almost certainty that you had psychic abilities. One thing led to another and your parents divorced, leaving you and your mom alone, with Pamela taking you both in and under her wing. She taught you many things: how to control it, how to use it to help others, how to strengthen it, and so much more. But as you grew from a kid to a teen to a young adult, you grew away from the psychic business. Sure, you kept in touch with Pamela, but it wasn’t something you wanted to dedicate your life to.

You went to school, majoring in history and got yourself a sweet little internship at a local historical property; a home that had been donated to the town after belonging to a family, the Kims, for generations. They were a well known and influential family of your small town, never ever changing or developing their land. 

At first, it was no biggie, sorting through all the letters and mail that was left in the home after the last surviving member of the Kim’s passed away. Like with any place you went, you used Pamela’s teachings to keep the veil closed in your mind, allowing you to focus on the physical reality instead of the metaphysical. But after weeks of it, especially in historical places such as your internship, it got real emotionally draining, real fast. 

So little by little, you opened the veil, allowing spirits in, but you tried to behave still as if you couldn’t see or hear them. It sounded a lot easier than it was. Trying to ignore the constant whispering chatter, or the ever present shadow moving in the corner of your eye. Made your job a teeny bit annoying.

That was how you learned of Taehyung. At least that’s who you assumed it was, judging from the fact you only ever felt his energy when you came across his letters. Taehyung was a young man in the Kim family who had died little over a century ago due to consumption. You knew it was the same spirit every time because you could feel him. The energy radiating from him as you read his letters, hearing the same incoherent whispers. Eventually, you grew curious as to what he was saying as you sorted through his personal correspondence. Clearing your mind, you focused in on the whispering.

“Juno. . . Oh Juno. . .”

You frowned. Juno wasn’t a name you recognized, it wasn’t a name in the family nor someone they wrote to. So who was she? You carried on with work, still listening to what Taehyung’s spirit whispered, all while trying not to let on that you could hear him. But all he would repeat was that name. 

Juno.

You couldn’t outright ask your supervisor, not wanting to risk Taehyung being conscious enough to recognize he was dead and you could hear him (that was a nightmare in itself). Leaving you to your own devices to learn more about this mysterious Juno woman. Racing home, you pulled out your laptop and looked up historical records of any woman that lived in your town that was named Juno around the 1800s, the time period Taehyung had lived in. It took hours upon hours of your time, but eventually you found her. Sure there were a handful of other Junos from what you saw, perhaps it was your abilities but you knew this one was her.

Min Juno.

She was a school teacher in town, lower class. She lived until long after Taehyung had died. She got married, had kids, lived a long and full life according to the records. And never at all was there any record of her ever interacting with Kim Taehyung. Leaving you with more questions than answers now. 

Shutting your laptop, you rubbed your temples. You knew you should drop it, not like you’re going to get any answers. That was unless. . . You let out a huff. You were going to have to talk to Taehyung himself. 

Normally, you tried to avoid talking to ghosts, as it was a difficult task. Sure, you could hear them. But it wasn’t often that they could hear you. Stuck in a constant loop. Pamela had taught you that seances helped amplify their voices and pierce through the veil. But it wasn’t like you could hold a seance in the middle of the office. That left you with only one option: talk to the air and hope of the best. 

The following day at work, you performed your normal daily tasks, waiting until the office was empty enough for you to explore the rest of the house alone. It wasn’t unusual for you to stay behind, long after you technically should’ve gone home. But your supervisor chalked it up to you simply being eager and over enthusiastic about history. So once you were sure everyone was gone, you packed up your desk and began your makeshift seance. 

“Hello,” you started, introducing yourself, “I’m here to talk to Taehyung. If you’re here, please make yourself known.”

Silence.

Not even a shiver of cool air. 

With a sigh, you squeezed your eyes shut. “I want to talk about Min Juno?” As soon as the name left your tongue, your heart began to ache. It was the same sensation you felt whenever you held Taehyung’s letters. “Okay, you understood that. Taehyung, if that is you, what is so. . . so special about her? Who was she to you?” 

For a few moments there was nothing but silence, then you heard an erie creeaak of footsteps down the hall. Taking a deep breath, you followed after the noise. Sure, in horror movies you never ever follow after a strange noise. But if there was anything Pamela told you, always follow after those strange noises (and something about calling two guys if it got too dangerous).

Each step you took, you were led deeper and deeper into the house until you came into a room. Instantly you recognized it, and it confirmed you were talking to Taehyung. Peering into the room, it was all staged. A thin layer of dust covering everything, from the bed to the desk to the mannequin that had some period accurate clothing. Over on the far side of the wall was a portrait of Taehyung. He was incredibly handsome, with beautiful dark hair and eyes. 

“What is in here, Taehyung? Why did you lead me here?” You asked into the air, reaching out to him, hoping to lend some of your energy to him. It was silent, not a word to be heard until a sudden bang and a small portion of the desk fell from beneath. Frowning, you walked over to it, you picked up the piece of wood. It didn’t seem to be broken or anything, but upon further inspection, you realized it was a secret compartment!

Carefully as you could, you reached into the compartment, delicately pulling out letters upon letters, all signed by one Min Juno. Sitting down on the floor, you read each and every one and you swore your heart broke. 

They were love letters. Secret correspondence between Taehyung and Juno, going back for months. From reading only one side of the story, it took a bit of inferring as to what their story was. The last letter sent to Taehyung was the most heart breaking of them all. Taehyung had convinced her that they could elope, run away and be together, far far away from his family. They had settled on a plan and everything; where they were going, where to meet and when. You wondered what was the reason as to why their plans did not work, until you looked at the date. A mere few weeks before his death. 

That’s why he continued to whisper her name, she was on his mind until the very end. 

Glancing up from your place on the floor, a full body apparition of Taehyung was before you. You scrambled to your feet, feeling a bit out of practice with dealing with the dead. Taehyung said nothing as he watched you, his sad eyes following your every move.

“Tell me about her. About Juno.”

A small smile crept onto his face. “She was. . . everything.”

#btsghostie #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #bts x reader #bts angst #taehyung angst #bts ghost au #bts fluff #taehyung fluff

[curryshesus]

bts fics that radiate sheer utter brilliance

(aka my favorite fics of all time) pt. 1

hello, hello! please make sure to show your love and support to these lovely authors if you enjoyed any of these reads as much as i did <3 note: all of these fics contain nsfw content (minors dni please). enjoy!

➺ the road to you - by @bonvoyagenoona

| ot7 x reader (tae focus) | 110k

au of all aus, best friend!taehyung, high school boyfriend!jimin, professor!yoongi, college boyfriend!jungkook, art enthusiast and city heartthrob!namjoon, barista!hobi, actor!jin, angst, fluff, smut, series

>>summary: "armed with your quick wit, creative passion, talent for storytelling, and innate understanding of your fanbase, you have met every challenge, surpassed every goal, and achieved the unimaginable. despite the earth shifting erratically under your firmly planted feet, you’ve always had a plan. you’ve made peace with the sacrifices you’ve had to make, and you’ve long forgotten the rejections and heartbreaks that came as a result. your agent keeps reminding you that you’re at the precipice of something new, that your audience is waiting for your next project with bated breath. this is usually when you thrive. so why do you feel so lost? and who can you count on from your past to help you find your way?"

➺ matilda - by @babystrcandy

| yoongi x reader | 141.8k

brother’s best friend au, f2e2f2l, slice of life, angst, fluff, eventual smut, series

>> summary: "loneliness had always been a constant for you, haunting you like a ghost; until your older brother’s best friend, min yoongi, came into your life. you both promised each other something back then - you’d always have his support and he’d always have yours. but with time and age, you weren’t sure how much that all still stood to be true."

➺ bitchin' - by @kinktae

| jungkook x reader | 49.5k

1980’s au, inspired by to all the boys i’ve loved before, e2l, fake lovers/college au, frat boy!jungkook, smut, series

>> summary: "the 80s were a time of choices. which perm was right for you? what color neon would you wear next? none of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with jeon jungkook."

➺ flower - by @readyplayerhobi

| hoseok x reader |

online dating au, fluff, future angst, future smut, series

>> summary: "you finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the flower dating app. one of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. what happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

➺ suncity - by @jamaisjoons

| hoseok x reader | 17k

strangers to lovers au, vacation au, angst, fluff, smut, oneshot

>> summary: "when you’d taken a spontaneous trip to barcelona, you hadn’t expected to meet hoseok. more than that, you hadn’t expected to begin a torrid affair with him."

➺ idealizations concerning real life relations - by @venusiangguk

| jungkook x reader | 40.9k

fuckboy!jk x hopeless romantic!oc, s2l, fwb, smut, angst, oneshot

>> summary: "jungkook loves to be loved, but he doesn’t love in return."

➺ peach parfait - by @jamaisjoons

| seokjin x reader | 19k

enemies to lovers au, fluff, smut, slight angst, two parts

>> summary: "you and seokjin have always been at odds as the top two chefs at big hit academy of culinary arts."

➺ tell me no lies - by @jeongi

| jungkook x reader | 15.1k

ceo au, criminal au, robbers au, angst, smut, minimal fluff

>> summary: "you chose to rob your boss, however; you never expected to fall in love with him."

➺ concrete king - by @bratkook

| jungkook x reader | 16.7k

sweet summer romance, fluff, smut, himbo energy, two parts

>> summary: "when a cute boy in a tacky hawaiian shirt lands a trick in your honor there's no way you could ever say no to him."

#bts fic rec #fic recs #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x oc #bts angst #bts smut #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #taehyung angst #taehyung smut #jimin angst #jimin smut #yoongi angst #yoongi smut #bts fan fiction #fic rec list #namjoon angst #namjoon smut #hoseok angst #hoseok smut #seokjin angst #seokjin smut #bts masterlist #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #seokjin x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader

[captain-joongz]

fanfiction recommendations/my favourite reads in 2023

♤ in pursuit of wedded bliss by @fantasyescapes17

regency au, each members has his own story, but they're interconnected

choi seungcheol

◇ push it down (sooner or later it all comes out) by @dontflailmenow

camboy!seungcheol, ex's best friend!seungcheol, enemies to lovers

♧ down bad (so so bad) by @lovelyhan

idol!seungcheol x pet sitter!reader

☆ always only you by @honeyhotteoks

brother's best friend!seungcheol, friends to lovers

♤ caught in a trap by @cheolism

brother's best friend to lovers au

kim mingyu

☆ a sheep in wolf's clothing by @rubyreduji

virgin!mingyu x experienced reader

♤ creep by @smileysuh

serial killer!ghost!mingyu, touch starved!mingyu, halloween fic

ot8

◇ skz drabble by @leviackermanscleaningbuddy

a/b/o, cnc, primal play

♧ sharing = caring by @cbini

bf!chan sharing you

☆ camcorder by @tasteracha

bf!minho x reader x chan, a little pervy chan

♤ five for five by @bh-archive

chan x hyunjin x hongjoong x san x juyeon x reader

◇ some things are better left unknown by @roseykat

chan x felix x reader, threesome

lee minho

♧ dilf!minho by @cinhomi

dilf!minho x baby sitter!reader, breeding kink, pregnancy talk

bang chan

☆ bad idea by @hyunsvngs

step dad!chan, getting together, infidelity

hwang hyunjin

♤ dressing down by @jl-micasea-fics

best friends to lovers, mutual pining

lee felix

◇ best friend felix by @ddyskz

best friends to lovers, fluffy smut

♧ felix + thigh riding by @straykeedz

☆ cockwarming by @dreaming-medium

coworkers au, secretary!felix, office sex

ot7

♤ shadows we trust by @remedyx

supernatural au, mystical creatures!bts, dark circus au

◇ masked miracles by @remedyx

hybrid!bts, detective!reader

♧ stay alive by @staytinyville

mythical creatures!bts, supernatural au

☆ trouvaille by @spookyserenades

hybrid!bts, witch!reader, supernatural au, some horror themes

♤ eternally theirs by @imnotlauriane

dragon!bts, soulmates au, knights au

◇ the lucky seven by @riphobisbraces

hybrid!bts, princess!human!reader

♤ emerald gem by @sweetlyskz

hybrid!bts, reader has a farm, strangers to lovers

♧ oh, little red by @jincherie

wolf!yoongi x reader x wolf!jimin, red riding hood au

min yoongi

☆ celestial ruin by @remedyx

fallen angel!yoongi x angel!reader, corruption arc

♤ fxck a fxckboy by @yoongifis

fuckboy!yoongi x smartass!reader

kim taehyung

◇ isn't that what brothers do? by @aris-ink

step brother!taehyung, forbidden romance, dub con

♧ black swan by @aris-ink

step dad!taehyung, manipulation, corruption, cheating

☆new flame by @gimmethatagustd

alpha!taehyung x omega!reader, heat sex

jeon jungkook

♤ family secrets by @aris-ink

step brother!jungkook, dry humping

◇ icarus by @aris-ink

step brother!jungkook, risky/sneaky sex

♧ close by @aft3rhrs

step brother!jungkook, forbidden romance

choi soobin

☆ let's play a game by @anyamaris

soobin x reader x yeosang (ateez), friends to lovers, primal play

♤ closed doors by @last-words-ofashootingstar

soobin x reader x hongjoong, idol au, obsessed!soobin

◇ super shy! by @fairyofshampgyu

shy virgin baker!soobin x experienced reader

♧ i &lt;3 nerds by @enha-cafe

nerdy!soobin secretly a sex god au

multiple members

☆ drippin' by @ncteez

'00 line x reader, friends to lovers, birthday orgy

♤ cookie jar by @neopuppy

step brothers!jeno and jaemin x reader, stuck in a dryer au

♧ sos by @neopuppy

a/b/o, sex pollen au, pollen induced heat/rut

lee jeno

☆ shameless by @neopuppy

step son!jeno x step mom!reader, infidelity, very dub con

♤ hand kink by @jaylaxies

roommates au, hand kink

lee mark

◇ i can help by @recklessmark

step dad!mark, corruption, manipulation, infidelity

ATEEZ rec list pt. 1 | pt. 2

#kpop fic recs #seventeen fic recs #seventeen fic #seventeen smut #seungcheol fic #seungcheol smut #mingyu fic #mingyu smut #seventeen x reader #svt fic #svt smut #stray kids fic recs #stray kids fic #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #ot8 x reader #poly skz #bts fic recs #bts fic #bts smut #bts fluff #yoongi fic #yoongi smut #taehyung fic #taehyung smut #jungkook fic #jungkook smut

[aft3rhrs]

Do you have any blog or fic recs for yandere or mafia BTS? You’ve got me obsessed now!

ily! 💗 and yes, in no particular order bc they're all from my reading lists:

@pynkgothicka — yandere ♡⃝ㅤgangsters ෆ, rockstars, scorned lovers

@aajjks — yandere ♡⃝ㅤemperors, bullies, hybrids, sugar daddies, horror movie aus (jungkook centric)

@jeonggukieverse — yandere ♡⃝ㅤthrillers, mind games, mafia ෆ (jungkook centric)

@taetaecherub — yandere ♡⃝ㅤbullies, stalkers, sweet boyfriends

@yoongsisbae — yandere ♡⃝ㅤlover jungkook, seven days a week and the fantasy

@luv-gukkie — yandere ♡⃝ doctors, stalkers, kidnappers, mafia ෆ

@kooktrash — yandere ♡⃝ coworker taehyung & boyfriend jungkook

@silv3rswirls — yandere ♡⃝ㅤstepbrothers, werewolves, serial killers

@sxtaep — yandere ♡⃝ㅤdance teacher hobi

@themochiverse — yandere ♡⃝ㅤmonster namjoon

@deepdarkdelights — yandere ♡⃝ㅤmonsters, ghosts, cults

here's a list of darker themed blogs if you're interested in dead dove content. enjoy! 🫂

#a r t #anyway as always please remember to leave the talented authors some love ❤️🥹 #yandere bts #bts recs 🥀

[oddinary4bts]

Crazy for You | kth

☆summary:  you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse?

☆pairing:  Kim Taehyung x female reader  

☆rating: 18+

☆genre:  best friend’s older brother to lovers, a little bit of fake dating trope, idol!au, angst, smut, fluff, snippets of life

☆warnings:  alcohol consumption, getting ghosted before the story takes place, lying/hiding the truth to a best friend for months, unclear relationship (and what comes with it aka reader feels cheated on (rightfully so?)), sort of miscommunication? but not really, cursing, mention of a grandparent passing away, a very awkward dinner with all the members and their own readers (no one is named, gets a little redundant? but since everyone is a reader, it had to be done), pregnancy (at the veryyyy end of the fic), explicit content: virgin and unexperienced!reader, dom!tae, praising, fingering, ass slapping, tits play, oral sex (female and male receiving), tied-up sex, whip (not really used in the fic), dirty talking?, protected and unprotected sex, jerking off, taehyung is lowkey a freak

☆word count: 46.8k

☆a/n: as per usual, thank you to the beautiful @moonleeai​ for beta-ing this fic for me. Your work is forever appreciated <3. Also, I really hope you will enjoy reading this. It took me a lot longer to write than my usual fics because I was burned out in December and I just couldn’t function properly but I’m really proud of the result nonetheless! Enjoy your reading <3

Read the other establishments in the Life Goes On series here!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

               There was a small house at the end of a dirt road, surrounded by trees and fields. When the sun set, it coated the house with golden light, making it stand at the end of the road like it was straight from a postal card. Bushes sprinkled with wildflowers stood on the two sides of the red door that was always left open. It led into a kitchen that had held laughter, tears and late-night conversations, along with home cooked food made with love.

You had grown up in that house next to your best friend Eunjin and her two brothers, Taehyung and Jeongyu, and your own brother. Though Taehyung had left when you were still young, moving to Seoul to pursue his training. It had led to you being a lot closer to Jeongyu even though you were mostly Eunjin’s friend. Your own brother had followed after Taehyung, always being closer to the older Kim sibling in the first place.

The house at the end of the road was pretty, with a cozy look to it that made you want to settle down after a long day of work. As your car pulled in the driveway, memories of your childhood came back to you, bringing a smile to your lips.

You remembered playing soccer with Eunjin, her siblings and your brother, and chasing after frogs on rainy days. You had come home covered in mud from the fields more than once, yet Eunjin’s parents had always been nice about it. Same as her grandmother had been, though the older lady had passed away a few years ago.

Your car slowed down as you neared the house until it came to a full stop. You took the keys out of the engine, gaze wandering on the different cars you could see.

Eunjin had organized a small get-together with close friends to celebrate her getting the job she had always dreamed about. Some of her family was also going to be there, cousins that you had seen many times before. All the cars you could recognize, except the gray one that was the nearest to the house. It had your brows furrow as you threw your car door open and stepped out.

You breathed in the fresh air of October, eyes shutting as you let yourself absorb the cool aura of the countryside. You hadn’t been here in years, ever since you had moved to Seoul, and you were glad to be back. So you took your time to breathe in the air and the atmosphere, letting it bring you back to days when you didn’t know what it was to be surrounded by concrete, only knowing fields and open air.

Your eyes eventually fluttered open, gaze moving to the front porch of the house. There was a figure standing there, a man you hadn’t expected to see.

Kim Taehyung was leaning against one of the pillars holding the small roof of the porch, a quaint knowing smile on his lips. You didn’t know how long he had been standing there, and you blushed as you took in the sight of him.

Taehyung was wearing a pair of brown dress pants along with a pale loose shirt that was tucked into the pants. He had rolled up his sleeves, revealing the tan skin of his forearms and the expensive watch on his wrist, and his hair was pushed back as if he had run his hands through it too many times.

You met his gaze in the distance, gulping as he seemingly looked you up and down once before his eyes locked with yours again.

“Y/n”, he greeted you.

“Taehyung”, you said back, eyes falling to a puddle in the dirt in front of you. You bowed, just a little, before glancing behind you at your duffel bag on the backseat.

Taehyung’s gaze followed you as you grabbed it before starting to walk towards him. There was something weird about the aura surrounding him and you weren’t quite sure if it was because you hadn’t seen him in almost six years or because the confident smile on his lips intimidated you.

Maybe it was a little bit of both.

You met his gaze again as you stopped in front of him, offering him a tight-lipped smile. “I didn’t know you were going to be here”, you admitted and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Eunjin made me stop here on the way back from Busan”, Taehyung explained. “After the concert.”

You had heard about that concert. A free concert that had rocked the whole world for a time. It was strange to think that Taehyung was so famous, especially as he stood in front of you, with that same childish glint in his eyes that he had when he was younger. It was stranger to think that you were friends with his sister and that your life somehow was intertwined with Taehyung’s.

“Oh”, you let out. Your eyes slid to the door, right as it opened to reveal your best friend.

“Y/n!” Eunjin squealed as she ran out, wrapping her arms around your neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”

You chuckled, hugging her with one arm. “We were together a week ago”, you reminded her.

She tutted as she pulled away, grabbing your duffel bag from you and handing it to her brother. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and bring that inside, asshole?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes at his sister, before meeting your gaze. “I’ll do it for you, not for her.” He offered his sister a glare and then winked as he met your eyes over her head.

It left you with a dumbfounded look on your face as Taehyung disappeared inside. Eunjin’s brows knit together, and she turned towards you. “What the fuck was that?”

You were as confused as she was, so you simply shrugged your shoulders before motioning to the inside of the house. “Should we go in?”

Eunjin didn’t seem like she wanted to let it go, yet she didn’t mention it again as she pulled you in behind her. “Everyone’s already arrived.”

Indeed, as soon as you walked in you were greeted by a crowd of friends, along with the family members Eunjin had mentioned would be there. They greeted you warmly, but your eyes diverged to the stairs as Taehyung walked down them. He pushed his hair back, his gaze meeting yours for a few seconds. He offered you a tight-lipped smile as he raised his eyebrows, but Eunjin pulled you away before you could reply.

All it did was bring a light blush to your cheeks, one you did your best to ignore as Eunjin handed you a bottle of beer.

“Drink up, you’ve got some catching up to do”, she told you.

You let out a small laugh. “I don’t drink beer.”

Eunjin rolled her eyes, fists resting against her hips. “You will today.” She glanced at a spot over your shoulder. “I have a feeling you’re going to need it.”

Her words were immediately punctuated by cheers, and you turned your head towards the sound to see some of your friends cheering one of Eunjin’s family members as he chugged a beer. Your eyes widened, and you resumed your attention on your friend.

“What is going on here?” you asked.

You had never done parties like that. Had never really been allowed to do parties like that. It surprised you that Eunjin’s parents were letting it happen under their roof, yet Eunjin just brushed it off with a shrug of her shoulders.

“My parents told me that as long as we don’t break anything I can throw a party like in the movies.”

You looked at her pointedly. “Don’t people always break stuff at parties like in the movies?”

Eunjin laughed heartily, shaking her head. “Not under oppa’s careful attention.” You followed her line of gaze to see Taehyung punching his cousin in the shoulder before leaning in to say something in the young man’s ear. His enthusiasm seemed to deflate for a time, until Taehyung offered him a winning smile that had the happiness bleed back into the young man’s features. “He’s telling everyone to stop when they get too intense.”

It was unlike Taehyung, or rather unlike the Taehyung you had known years ago. Taehyung had always been the first one to want to have fun, to pull pranks on his siblings or to tease everyone and everything around him. There was still that same mischievous glint in his eyes today, but as the oldest he seemed to take his responsibilities seriously.

You wondered what his parents had told him to make him behave like that.

“Good thing he’s here then”, you said, before taking a swig of your beer.

You winced at the taste and the bitterness it left behind and Eunjin laughed at your expression. “Oh come on, it’s just a little beer.”

“Drink it then”, you said, pushing the beer towards her.

She shook her head and before she could speak, her younger brother threw an arm around her shoulder.

“Y/n!” Jeongyu greeted you. He had a large grin on his face, one that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I’ve missed you.”

“And yet you choose to hug your sister?” you teased him. “Come here.”

Jeongyu laughed, a little drunkenly, before stumbling into your open arms. He hugged you firmly, lifting you off the ground. You let out a yelp and your eyes met Taehyung’s as he moved closer.

You couldn’t quite read his expression, but he seemed surprised. As if he hadn’t really seen you before.

“What’s gotten into you?” Taehyung asked. For a moment, you thought he was addressing you as his eyes still held your gaze, but he tapped his brother’s shoulder.

Jeongyu immediately put you down, before offering a small pout to Taehyung. “Just happy to see Y/n, hyung.”

Taehyung arched an eyebrow prettily. “No need to crush her like that.”

“It’s fine”, you reassured the man as Jeongyu let you go. You met his gaze, offering him a bright smile. “I’ve missed you too, Jeongyu.”

A crooked grin appeared on the younger man’s lips. “How has Seoul been, nuna?”

The three siblings put their full attention on you. Usually, when it was just Eunjin and Jeongyu, you found it easy to talk to them. But right now, under Taehyung’s attentive gaze, you found you didn’t really know what to say.

“Uh”, you let out. “It’s been good.”

“Do you still work at the same office?” Taehyung asked. He furrowed his brows slightly. “What was it again?”

“Yes, I still work at the same place”, you answered. You chuckled, and a slight blush moved on your cheeks. “Still work for Samsung.”

Taehyung pursed his lips. “I don’t know how I managed to forget that.”

“Maybe because you haven’t seen her in years”, Eunjin pointed out.

Your best friend’s words ended the conversation, and you looked down at the floor as you took a sip of the beer. The liquid was as disgusting as it had been a moment ago, but it kept you occupied for a time, as the siblings started bickering.

If one thing hadn’t changed between the three of them, it was their constant bickering. Taehyung looked a lot younger then, and you found it easier to hold his gaze. The blush stubbornly remained on your cheeks, but you had always been the type to blush easily. Especially when alcohol was involved.

And Kim Taehyung, apparently.

Soon enough, the group of you moved to join the rest of the people attending Eunjin’s celebration. You found yourself sitting together with the friends you had gone to high school with, while Taehyung and Jeongyu moved to stand with their family members. Eunjin kept going from one crowd to another, ever so the social butterfly, accepting the congratulations people were offering her without even batting an eyelash.

Every now and then, your gaze slid towards Taehyung. You caught the older man looking at you on more than one occasion, and each time he offered you one of his tight-lipped smiles. The times when he wasn’t looking brought you back to when you were younger. To when you were fourteen and crushing on your best friend’s older brother.

You hadn’t thought that that crush still existed until butterflies swam in your belly at the sight of Taehyung’s boxy smile as he laughed at someone’s joke.

You looked away then, figuring it was better to ignore Taehyung. And it was, as you were surrounded by a crowd of your friends, and everyone of them were buzzing with energy. Jests were exchanged between the group, inside jokes you hadn’t thought you remembered as you all reminisced about high school.

The party kept going on for longer than you thought, even though most people weren’t sleeping over. You found yourself drinking more than you had expected, as you realized that beer didn’t taste so bad after your third bottle. It had your mind swirling in the sweet ecstasy of alcohol, and your initial repulsion to the idea of drinking disappeared into thin air.

If you were to party, you’d party grandly until dawn would inch to the horizon, tainting the sky in bright colors. And you did just that, joining Eunjin in a couple of alcohol games. It was fun with her cheering you on, and you won more than half of them, beating most of your friends. Your successful streak ended when you played against Taehyung and Jeongyu, though Jeongyu didn’t contribute to the game a lot. Indeed, Taehyung told him to sit down on the couch, as the younger man was far too drunk to even stand straight. It made you laugh, and you stumbled a little, taking an unexpected step towards Taehyung.

Taehyung caught your elbow and you looked up to meet his gaze. He had a stern expression on his face as if he disapproved of you drinking. You furrowed your eyebrows, before shrugging off his grip on your arm.

“Is something wrong?” you asked.

He seemed surprised by the outburst, and his eyebrows shot towards his hairline. “Ah, no, everything is okay.”

There was an awkward silence between the two of you, and you only then realized that Eunjin had been pulled away by one of her cousins.

Taehyung had pretty eyes. A dark gaze, one that you felt as if you were falling in as you looked at him. It had your mind turning dizzy, which wasn’t quite a great mix with the amount of alcohol you had ingested. Taehyung must have noticed your face paling because he grabbed your hand ever so gently, before pulling you behind him.

“What are you doing?” you asked, even though you offered him no resistance whatsoever.

He glanced at you over his shoulder, a strand of dark hair falling in his eyes. “You look like you need some fresh air.”

You knew he was right, but something about him making the decision for you felt wrong.

“I can be the judge of that”, you said, planting your heels in the ground.

Taehyung didn’t stop, though he offered you a small laugh. That laugh did things to your mind that you couldn’t quite explain, though it made you stumble forward. You fell against Taehyung’s back, face digging in the soft fabric of his shirt.

You inhaled a whiff of his cologne as you tried to regain your footing, and when you finally were able to stand by yourself, you realized your hand had wrapped around one of his biceps. Your other fingers were still prisoners of his hand and you blushed before letting your hand fall to your side.

“Sorry.”

Your apology was uttered barely above a whisper, but you were standing so close you knew he had heard it. Or maybe you knew because his grip on your fingers tightened, his thumb brushing the back of your hand.

“It’s okay”, he reassured you. “Let’s just get some fresh air for you.”

This time, you obeyed, not feeling like making a fool out of yourself again. Your lips instinctively formed a pout, but you followed Taehyung across the living room, up until you reached the front door. He glanced over his shoulder and you tried to meet his gaze but he was looking over your shoulder. You followed his line of sight, though found yourself unable to figure out what he had been looking at before he pulled you out, shutting the door gently behind him.

The world outside was dark. Fresh, and it smelled of humidity and soil, and all the smells autumn holds. Taehyung had let your hand go as soon as you were outside and you took a step forward, moving away from the light of the porch as your eyes instinctively looked up to the sky and the endless blanket of stars. The moon was hidden somewhere and all you could see were all the little imprints of light up there, promises of worlds unexplored by humanity. Worlds that had maybe died a long time ago, yet their existence was just now reaching Earth.

You wondered if there was someone out there, looking out at their own stars and seeing the Sun. It was a strange thought to have for your drunk mind, yet it strangely sobered you up as you felt small.

“Do you think we’re alone in the universe?” you asked.

You glanced back at Taehyung. He was still standing next to the door, hands in his pockets, and he had a bewildered expression on his face. Eyes slightly widened and mouth hanging open, as if he was about to say something. Yet he remained silent and the way his eyes met yours felt intimate somehow. Like you indeed were alone in the universe, the last bastion of humanity, and Taehyung was taking the sight in.

It felt strange to be looked at like that when no man had ever looked at you for more than a few seconds.

“Sometimes I think we are”, Taehyung finally replied. He took a few steps towards you before craning his neck to look up at the stars. It had you resume your attention on the night sky, right as Taehyung spoke again. “But then I think the world is never-ending, and new stars are born every day and I realize the odds that we’re the only place that life happened are way too slim.”

You remained silent, taking his words in. They were weird in your dizzy state, though you did feel more sober now that you were outside. Now that you were alone with Taehyung and not stuck inside a too-warm house. A house that you would always consider a home, but really you weren’t quite sure you were one for parties like the one Eunjin was throwing.

Or maybe you just had too much to drink.

“When you begin to think about it, what were the odds of life happening?” you mumbled, a little more to yourself. “Like, what were the odds that our ancestors would exist and then have babies up until our parents and like…” you trailed off, brows furrowed as you tried to make sense of the thoughts in your head. “Like what were the odds that we both would be standing here tonight, looking at the stars?”

Taehyung let out a laugh. A clear sound in the fall night, that warmed it up just a little bit. “Are you drunk or high?”

“I’m just saying, life is a series of coincidences”, you said. You glared at him, brows knitted together, only to find him already looking at you.

You could only see half of his face in the dim light coming in from the porch. The half you could see was soft, the visible eye filled with an emotion you couldn’t decipher. All you knew was that it made the eye sparkle a little, with a glint that put the stars to shame. The other half of his face was casted in shadows, yet it didn’t hide how handsome Taehyung was.  

And he really fucking was.

“Well, I’m happy this coincidence brought you here tonight”, Taehyung said.

You didn’t know what to say, only knew that you were weirdly attracted to him. Like a moth to a flame and you knew you were going to get burned. For some reason you couldn’t stop.

“I can’t believe it’s been like six years since we’ve seen each other”, you murmured.

Taehyung’s lips spread in the tiniest little smile. “I’ve been pretty busy.”

“I always thought we were friends”, you muttered, and your eyes moved away from his face, looking up at the sky once again. Maybe because you didn’t have the strength to look him in the eye while you were to speak your next words. “I was sad when you stopped replying to my texts.”

Taehyung tensed next to you. It made the night air a little colder, and you shivered as a heavy silence moved between you.

It was true. You had used to talk to Taehyung once in a while, encouraging him and congratulating him whenever BTS had won awards. You had acted with him like you acted with Jeongyu, treating him like someone you were close to… but then one day he had started replying with short messages instead of sentences, and then it had moved to emojis. And one day he had just stopped replying and you had been left wondering what you had done wrong.

For a long time you had thought he had known that you had been crushing on him. It had been over then, but you had always imagined it could explain why he just had stopped replying.

Eunjin had never known. No matter how close you were to her, you had never dared tell her that you had feelings for her brother, and you hadn’t mentioned that Taehyung had sort of ghosted you. If she had noticed she hadn’t said a thing.

“Life just got in the way, I guess”, Taehyung said. His voice was low, as if he too was aware of just how bad the excuse sounded. “I never meant to stop replying.”

You were pretty sure he had, but it was water under the bridge.

“Whatever, I don’t really care”, you joked, nudging him with your elbow. “At least I got to see your sorry face today.”

Your voice was strained, even to your ears. It felt awkward to be speaking to him like that and you wished you could take the words back.

“We were friends, if that can reassure you.” Taehyung ignored your last comment as he continued, “You were always like a little sister to me.”

The words didn’t sting like you had thought they would. Maybe because he had employed the past tense.

“Anyway.” You chuckled, granting him a glance. He was looking up at the sky, and you followed him, eyes moving to the many constellations that were lighting up the night. “How has this whole BTS thing been going? You are so big now.”

The atmosphere seemed to shift, falling back into a warmer state. “It’s been crazy. I still can’t believe I get to live this life.”

“I mean.” You paused, wetting your lips. “You worked hard for it, you deserve it.”

There was another silence, and a soft breeze moved on your features, though its coldness had you shivering again. You hoped Taehyung didn’t notice, because you didn’t feel like going back inside just yet.

“Thank you”, Taehyung breathed. “It does get…” He chuckled, as if he hadn’t meant to speak.

“What?” you asked, and your eyes trailed to him.

“It gets lonely sometimes”, he finished, meeting your gaze. The raw truth behind his words almost had you stumbling back. “Especially now that we aren’t doing everything together anymore.”

You felt sorry for him, yet you didn’t have any words of reassurance to offer. You lived a far simpler life than his, with a small crowd of friends that you kept close to you. You didn’t feel lonely, though at times you did picture yourself having someone around, someone more. It was a strange thought to have, one that had never really crossed your mind before. You didn’t know if it was because you were getting older, and everyone around you had already lived through many relationships.

Then again it wasn’t like you had ever been interested in a relationship anyway.

“I’m sorry”, you apologized. You didn’t know what for.

He shrugged his shoulders, eyes trailing back to the sky. “Don’t be.” It was his turn to nudge you with an elbow. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”

He wasn’t wrong and you had nothing to answer to that.

“Do you have anybody in your life?” he asked after some time.

Confusion moved through you, and a crease appeared between your eyebrows. “I mean, I have Eunjin and my family. Even Jeongyu and the rest of them.”

He threw you a no-bullshit look. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

That… That? Was Taehyung asking you if you were dating anyone?

“What?” you let out. You flushed red, and if it wasn’t for the remnants of the alcohol in your system you probably wouldn’t have been able to speak. “Why do you want to know that?”

He laughed at your flustered state. “I’m just trying to make conversation.”

You squinted your eyes as you looked at him, a little suspiciously. It had him laughing this time, boxy smile on display.

You were pretty sure that smile could stop wars.

“No”, you breathed out. “I’ve never dated anyone.”

Maybe that was too much of a truth, yet it fell from your mouth with nothing to stop it. Taehyung looked surprised, and his brows moved up.

“Why?”

You shrugged your shoulders, looking away from him as a warm flush coursed through your upper body. “I don’t know. I’ve never really been interested in a relationship before.”

He pondered about it for a time. “You sound like it has changed.”

“I don’t really know.” You pursed your lips, before saying, “It just feels weird to be twenty-six and to haven’t even had my first kiss yet.”

You hated yourself. You hated yourself and your stupid mouth that never knew when to shut up. You hated yourself even more as your words met a stunned silence. You wanted to decipher the expression on his face, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him.

What a coward you were.

“There’s nothing wrong with that”, Taehyung said. He spoke carefully, as if he was afraid he’d speak the wrong words.

Oh.

“No I know.” You chuckled, wetting your lips before biting the bottom one in a nervous manner. “It’s just that I’d want to have done it all, just never had the opportunity.” You pursed your lips, furrowing your brows. “I mean, I had opportunities, just wasn’t interested until I realized I’m a little old for this.”

Taehyung chuckled beside you, a deep baritone sound that put a stop to the spiel of words falling from your mouth. “You’re not too old, Y/n.”

The way he said your name in that low voice of his… your mind went haywire.

“Everyone does it in their own time.” He turned until he was facing you, before grabbing your hand again, like he had been holding it when you had first come outside. “You’re freezing, we should get back inside.”

Only you weren’t ready to let the conversation go. “I’m fine.” You didn’t pull your hand away from his as you continued, “Do you think I’m attractive?”

From the way he was standing, more light was illuminating his features. So, you could see his jaw clenching as he held your gaze unblinkingly, eyes turning dark. “You’re drunk, Y/n, let’s get you to bed.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

He sighed, eyes dipping to your lips. “Yes, you are. Why would you think you aren’t?”

“You’re saying that just to make me happy.”

He chuckled, the sound a little bitter, entirely different from his previous small laughs. “I’m saying it because it is a fact.”

You took a step closer to him, angling your face up so he could gaze down at you.

Drunk you really was a menace to sober you, wasn’t she? Because you weren’t talking about kissing. You were talking about so much more, and you could tell Taehyung knew.

“Prove it”, you breathed.

His eyes widened again, but soon they were overcome by darkness, a cloud that covered the light you had seen there before. He wet his lips, looking at you, shaking his head slightly as if he didn’t believe you were real. He then leaned down to speak into your ear. “You just want to be touched, do you?”

Your blood started boiling in your veins at the feeling of his warm breath on the side of your face. “I want to know why people like sex that much.”

“I could show you.”

To have Kim Taehyung say that to you turned you into playdough. Playdough that he could mold into whatever shape he preferred and you didn’t even care. It was your teenager self’s fantasy after all.

And maybe you should have been worried, by his willingness to show you. Maybe you should have been ticked off by it, yet you still found yourself whispering, “Please show me, Tae.”

He didn’t move or say anything for a long time. So long that you found yourself pulling away, up until you could gaze at his features.

His eyes were closed but at the feeling of your gaze on him, his eyelids fluttered open. “You’re drunk”, he repeated his previous words. Yet the dark look hadn’t left his features, the low tone hadn’t left his voice. “Let’s see if you still feel the same tomorrow.”

There was a high chance that you’d just be embarrassed as all hell, yet you found yourself agreeing. Because really you wanted to die under the intensity of Taehyung’s gaze. No one had ever looked at you like that before, and you didn’t want him to look away. You were aware it was the alcohol singing in your blood, and it would all come crashing down when you’d wake up with a pounding headache the next day. Yet you found yourself agreeing.

Maybe because the devil had never looked as good as Taehyung did.

 *****

                 Light poured through the window next to which you were sleeping, encasing you in a prison of warmth and brightness that made you wake up feeling dehydrated. Your blood was pumping in your ears and your whole body felt as if it was burning. You cracked an eye open, wincing as the sun blinded you. You put a hand on your face, letting out a small whimper, before sitting up on the mattress, face turning away from the window.

You only then opened your eyes again, freezing when you noticed where you were.

Taehyung’s bedroom. You were sleeping in Taehyung’s bedroom. You looked around, eyes skimming over the familiar furniture, heart beating out of your chest. It made you dizzy again, as you tried to remember what happened last night.

You didn’t remember a lot, after that conversation you had with him outside. But what you remembered of the conversation had you wanting to throw yourself off a cliff. You had flirted with Taehyung. He had flirted back, had told you he could show you…

Just the thought of it had you letting out a small curse, and your head fell into your hands. What had you done?

“Good morning”, Jeongyu said from the doorframe.

You startled, looking between your fingers. He had a shit-eating grin on his face. “What?” you let out.

He chuckled. “Why are you wearing Taehyung’s t-shirt?”

You glanced down at your chest and sure enough, you were clad in a white Celine t-shirt, one you knew fully well belonged to Taehyung.

“Aish, what is going on?” you mumbled, hands falling in your lap.

“Don’t worry, hyung slept on the couch downstairs. You were pretty wasted last night.”

Blood rushed to your cheeks. “Did I do anything weird?”

“Not particularly”, Jeongyu said, shrugging his shoulders. “I was pretty wasted myself. Honestly, only Taehyung was sober.”

Taehyung was sober and still had told you what he had? What hell had you stepped into?

“Why are you guys so loud?” Eunjin grumbled. She came into view, her hair a mess as she let out a yawn. It took her a moment to register that you were currently sitting in her brother’s bed, wearing one of his shirts. When she did focus on the scene, her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “What the fuck?”

Jeongyu punched her in the shoulder. “You’re lucky appa didn’t hear you say that.”

There were so many questions in Eunjin’s eyes it had you chuckling awkwardly.

“I don’t know”, you said, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know anything.”

“Bitch, you better have some explanation”, Eunjin replied and she walked in, making her way to you. She put her fists against her hips, and you let out another laugh as she stopped in front of you.

“Ayt, I’m out”, Jeongyu said before disappearing.

“Did you sleep with my brother?” Eunjin asked.

You winced at the sound of her voice, eyes shutting. “Why are you speaking so loud?”

She huffed, stomping on the ground. “Answer me, Y/n.”

You cracked an eye open, meeting your best friend’s gaze. “I don’t remember last night but I don’t think I did.”

“Where’s the fucker anyway?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “No idea.”

And really, Taehyung was nowhere to be found. Even when you and Eunjin finally made your way downstairs, Taehyung wasn’t there. A look out the window of the living room told you that his car wasn’t in the front yard anymore, and you tried to hide your disappointment as best as you could.

You hadn’t expected him to leave so soon after what he had told you that he could show you. Teach you even, about sex. It made your embarrassment ten times worse, especially as Eunjin kept pressing for questions. Questions you didn’t have answers to because, frankly, you hadn’t a clue as to how you had ended up in Taehyung’s room.

It was a confusing shitshow indeed.

It remained that way for two weeks, as you went back to Seoul and to your regular office life. Focusing on work helped to get your mind off of Taehyung’s words, and of the shame that choked you up whenever you thought about what you had said to him.

The worst part about it all was that Taehyung didn’t talk to you at all. Didn’t text you, didn’t call. Some part of you had expected him to, the foolish part of you that had been reminded of your crush on him. But no, Taehyung became a ghost in your life again, as if Eunjin’s party had never happened.

Eunjin, on the other hand, didn’t become a ghost at all. No, your best friend forced you to hang out far more than you usually did, as if she was still reeling from getting her new job. You didn’t blame her, it was her dream job after all. But it did get tiring, as you went out for drinks a couple of nights in a row, with people she knew and you didn’t. She always made sure that you felt included, but you had always been a little more on the introverted side.

Maybe that was why you found yourself deciding to leave early on the latest night out. You had been drinking soju with Eunjin and her new coworkers, playing drinking games that had your blood slowly fill with alcohol. The fresh air helped the dizziness that had taken over you and you walked in the night, content with your sudden loneliness. You watched the people around you, bowing your head politely, and soon enough you found a snack stand. You were ordering some tteokbokki for yourself when your phone rang in your purse.

You fumbled with the zipper of the purse, drunk fingers clumsy as they tried to hold on to it. It took you a moment but soon enough you fished your phone out of your purse, fingers holding onto it as if it was a treasure. The lady behind the little snack bar offered you a curious glance but you ignored her as you picked up the call right before it went to voicemail.

“Hi!” you let out happily, hiding your mouth behind your hand when you realized how loud you had spoken. There was silence on the other side of the line, apart from the sound of music. You furrowed your brows, assuming it was Eunjin. “Eunjin-ah, I’m on my way home.”

There was a chuckle. A man’s chuckle. A surprisingly deep chuckle. You looked at the screen of your phone, blinking a few times at the name you read. Taehyung. Why the fuck was Taehyung calling you now?

“Hi, Y/n”, he said.

You quickly put the phone against your ear again. “Why are you calling me?”

“I wanted to hear your voice”, he answered, his deep baritone voice sending shivers down your spine.

You scoffed. “You don’t talk to me for two weeks and then you tell me that?”

He didn’t reply for a long time, as if he felt guilty. You really hoped he did because he totally deserved it.

“I’ve been busy”, he replied. “But I’m hosting a party right now and it’s missing you.”

You barely heard his words as the snack lady offered you your tteokbokki. You thanked her before moving towards one of the empty wooden tables that stood next to the stand.

“What?” you said once you were sitting.

“Do you want to come over?” Taehyung asked.

You furrowed your brows, holding your phone with your shoulder as you opened the paper pack that held your chopsticks. “I’m eating.”

“Where are you?”

You looked around, startling when a car honked in the street. “At a snack bar next to Eunjin’s work.”

“I’ll come get you”, Taehyung said. He sounded determined, and it made you laugh. “Why are you laughing?”

“Why do you want to come get me?” you asked, digging your chopsticks in the tteokbokki. It was rosé tteokbokki, and you couldn’t help the little content hum you let out as you ate.

“What was that?” Taehyung asked.

He sounded like he was moving away from the music and soon enough all you could hear was the sound of his breathing.

“My rosé tteokbokki is hitting good”, you replied. “Please don’t come, though.”

“I want to see you”, he said matter-of-factly. “I’m coming no matter what you say.”

You pouted. “You don’t even know where I am.”

“You’re at the tteokbokki stand near Eunjin’s work”, he pointed out. “That should be easy enough to find.”

You whined. “Please, Taehyung, I’m drunk, I don’t want to see you.”

“Well good thing the drive is going to take a while, you’ll have plenty of time to sober up.” He paused, and you could hear a car door opening and closing.

“I’ll be gone by the time you get here.”

You could almost hear him rolling his eyes on his side of the line. “Do you even live within walking distance from Eunjin’s work?”

Your stubborn silence was answer enough.

“See, just send me your location and I’ll drive you home”, he said.

You looked up at the sky, watching the moon behind the clouds. “You said something about a party, no?”

The sound of the engine coming to live covered your words, right as the call switched to his car’s Bluetooth.

“What did you say?”

You wet your lips. “You mentioned a party when I got my tteokbokki.”

“I’m hosting a party right now, but it doesn’t matter”, he replied.

“Can you even drive?”

He chuckled. “I have stopped drinking for a little over two months.”

So he had been sober at Eunjin’s party? You winced, hiding your face in your hand. “Gosh.”

“What?”

You shrugged. “Nothing.”

There was a long silence, as you focused on eating the tteokbokki. Anything to not think about how embarrassed you were. Taehyung didn’t hang up though, as if he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to bail on him. Truthfully, you didn’t really want to walk home alone, not now that Taehyung had reminded you of just how long the walk would have been.

“Can you share your location?” Taehyung asked after a few minutes of silence.

You bit your lower lip, pulling the phone away from your ear so you could do so. “Did you get it?” you asked as soon as you were done.

“Yeah.” There was a brief pause, and Taehyung let out a small chuckle. “Eunjin got you drunk and left you alone once again?”

Your brows knitted together. “What?”

“Like at her party”, he pointed out.

You winced, shaking your head. “I doubt this is like her party.” You ate some tteokbokki, appreciating the flavor before swallowing. “How did I even get to your bedroom?”

“I carried you to bed because you were starting to pass out on the couch”, he admitted. “You don’t remember?” There was a vulnerability in his words, as if he regretted his actions.

“No”, you let out. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

He remained silent, but you could imagine the smile that was playing on his lips.

“When should you be here?” you asked after a time.

“ETA should be fifteen minutes”, he answered. “You still have some tteokbokki left?”

You looked down at the almost empty bowl. “There won’t be when you arrive.”

He laughed. “That’s okay, I’m not hungry.”

You nodded, finishing your bowl as Taehyung focused on driving. You brought it back to the lady before sitting back at the table, eyes going up to the sky. It reminded you of when you had stargazed with Taehyung, and all the things you had told him.

“I’m sorry”, you apologized.

“About what?”

You shrugged. “For what I said at Eunjin’s party. I shouldn’t have told you all of that.”

“It’s okay”, Taehyung reassured you. “That’s why I kept my distance.”

His words rang in your ears for a time, and blush crept on your cheeks. “Oh.”

“But I figured two weeks was plenty enough”, he added, as if he had sensed your disappointment. “I missed being close to you.”

Your blush only deepened as you played with the hem of your shirt. “Have you?”

“Of course I did”, he said. “You’ve always been important to me.”

You pursed your lips, suppressing the smile that had wanted to form on your lips. “Then it’s a good thing you called me tonight.”

“It truly is.”

You shared another silence, one so long you almost thought Taehyung had fallen asleep on his side of the line. Hadn’t you known he was driving you might have hung up, but you wanted to stay with him.

That damn crush.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes”, Taehyung said. “Are you asleep?”

“No”, you replied, suppressing the yawn that you had almost let out. “I’m just chilling.”

“Good.” He paused, and you wondered what he was thinking. You wondered what had made him decide to come back into your life like that.

It was hard to know, as Taehyung had always been private about his life. Even when he was younger he had never really shared anything with you. Maybe that was just because you were his sister’s friend and not his, or maybe it was the age gap. Not that he was all that older, but three years could be a lot sometimes, especially growing up.

“I’m parking the car”, Taehyung told you. “Are you okay with walking to the corner of the street?”

You glanced at it, noticing the same SUV that had been at their parents’ house the day of Eunjin’s party. “Are you in the gray SUV?”

“Yeah.”

A rush of adrenaline coursed through your blood. “I can see you.”

He chuckled. “I think I see you too.”

A shy smile broke on your lips as you got up. “Don’t look at me walking, it’s just going to be awkward.”

“I don’t think anything can be awkward between us after what you said two weeks ago”, Taehyung teased. You could hear the smirk in his voice and it made you stop in your tracks.

“Taehyung!” you shrieked.

He laughed heartily, a laugh that had your insides feeling weirdly warm. “I’m just playing with you, come here.”

You obeyed, eyes focusing on the cracks in the cement. You were too afraid to catch Taehyung’s gaze if you looked up. “I’m going to hang up now”, you mumbled, and Taehyung let out another laugh that was cut off by the line going out.

You reached his car, walking around it to open the passenger door. Taehyung offered you a warm smile as you got in, one of his boxy smiles that used to make you go crazy when you were younger. After what he had just said, all you wanted was to punch his teeth in, but you instead chose to stare at a spot on the dash.

“Hey there”, he greeted you as if you hadn’t been talking over the phone for a while already.”

“Hey.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Well, where do you live?”

You blushed, glancing at him once. “Let me put it into your phone’s GPS.”

He nodded, offering you his phone. You quickly put the address in, before handing the device back to him. His long fingers closed around yours as he grabbed the phone, sending shivers right through your spine.

Taehyung had attractive hands. You had always been aware of it, but having his fingers on you, even though it was barely a touch… it made your insides go crazy.

“Damn, it’s a longer drive than I thought”, he said.

You nodded, playing with the hem of your shirt again. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have made it home by foot.” You met his gaze then, right as he turned his key in the ignition and the engine sparked to life again. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Anytime”, he said, and his features melted into a softness that made you look away once again. “I’m sorry Eunjin left you alone.”

“She did not!” you quickly said, a defensive tone taking over your voice. “She would never leave me alone.” You threw him a glance, only to notice he had an eyebrow cocked and he was holding in a smile. “What?” you let out.

He chuckled, eyes darting towards you before focusing on the road again. “Why are you so quick to defend her when it’s clear that that’s what happened?”

A small angry pout formed on your lips. “I chose to leave because I didn’t know her friends and it was awkward.” You folded your arms on your chest, looking outside the window. “I’m a grown woman, I can make my own decisions.”

“Like telling me that you are a virgin?”

Your eyes rounded in surprise as you turned towards him so quickly your neck almost hurt. “Taehyung, what the hell!”

He laughed heartily again, and the sound had your insides filling with butterflies. “I’m just teasing you.”

“Please don’t.”

You exchanged a quick look before his eyes slid to the road again. You hoped he hadn’t noticed your turning a scarlet red from his words, but you were pretty sure he had. For all his teasing and childishness, Taehyung was a very observant person.

“I’m sorry”, he apologized after a time.

You sighed, pursing your lips. “It’s okay.”

Silence engulfed you, and you looked outside at the lights of the city again, leaning against the car door to get a better view. You could feel Taehyung’s occasional glance on your profile, and you tried not to let it get to your head.

Tried and failed, as you realized you were currently sitting in his car. Just the two of you, far from the usual setting that your friendship consisted of back in Daegu. As if time hadn’t changed anything between you, except where the friendship took place. In the neon lights of the world outside, Taehyung looked as if he hadn’t changed at all, as if he was still the boy you had had a crush on.

Or maybe that was only because your crush had definitely come back now, playing with your mind as you tried to ignore him.

“Do you want to listen to any music?” he enquired, his deep voice sending a chill through your spine.

You hadn’t expected the question, and your eyes slid to his handsome profile. “Uh, what do you listen to?”

“Lots of different stuff”, he said, catching your gaze for half a second before looking away. “Mostly jazz though.”

A soft smile grew on your lips. “Right, you’ve always loved jazz.”

He chuckled. “How do you know that?”

You flushed pink, once again looking away. “You’ve made it pretty obvious.” You cleared your throat, trying to hide the embarrassment that was choking you. “Don’t you play the trumpet or something?”

“I do.” He ran a hand through his hair, the motion catching your attention. “I play many instruments.”

You knew. You had heard him play many of them in the past, and had even played with him when you were younger, when he was just your best friend’s older brother.

“Do you remember when we did a show for your parents and your grandmother?” you asked, as the memory came forth in your mind, overpowering your other thoughts.

You could still see the scene. You had been in the field behind their house, with Taehyung playing the saxophone while Eunjin played the violin. You had just been playing around with your flute, and Jeongyu had refused to participate saying it was going to be a horrendous show, your brother tagging along with him. They hadn’t been wrong, and the whole thing had ended in a fit of giggles the adults had shared with you all.

“You were the worst flutist”, Taehyung said, a soft smile moving on his lips at the memory. “It was cute.”

Blush found its way back to your cheeks. “You thought I was cute?”

“Of course.” He nodded, before glancing at you again. “You’ve always been cute.”

His words stopped your heart in your chest, and when it started again you were pretty sure the erratic beating was going to kill you. It rendered you speechless, and your hand instinctively shot towards the radio display screen of the SUV. You clicked on the music app, quickly putting music on to hide the awkwardness that had filled the air.

Taehyung didn’t say anything right away, but you knew he had noticed. He probably had heard the wild beats of your heart too.

“Don’t be shy”, he murmured in a low voice. He wet his lips, before continuing, “I’ve been thinking about you constantly since Eunjin’s party.”

Could he see your hands were shaking because of how shy you felt?

“Ah.” You gulped as you tried to swallow. “Have you?”

“It’s hard to think about something else when you asked me what you did.”

For a reason unknown, his words calmed the shaking of your hands, heat trickling inside of you until you felt far too hot for your own good. “Forget about it, you know, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“What if I want it?”

This couldn’t be happening. Kim Taehyung couldn’t say he wanted you. He was too far out of your league, made of stuff women all around the world dreamed about. Just because you had known him before he was famous didn’t make you any different.

“Taehyung…” you trailed off, unable to find words to say. All you could do was stare at his profile, eyes falling to the lips he wet with a dart of his tongue.

“I know you drank tonight so not tonight, but I’d like to hang out with you, Y/n.” He glanced at you for a moment, long enough for you to see the intensity that had taken over his gaze. “If that’s something you would like.”

From the way heat was collecting at your core, you were pretty sure you couldn’t refuse the offer. “I’ve sobered up, by the way.”

You let your words hang in the silence that stretched between you, only interrupted by the soft jazz music that was playing over the car speakers.

“But we’re almost there”, he said, eyes sliding to you as his car slid to a halt at a stop sign.

There was courage in you. Courage you had never even thought you had, and you spoke the next words without an ounce of hesitation. “You could come up with me.”

He chuckled, as if in disbelief, looking away. “Ah, Y/n, you cannot do this to me.”

“You are the one that said you want to hang out with me.” You paused, heart beating wildly in your chest. “Prove it.”

“Are you sure you are not drunk anymore?” he asked.

“I was just a little tipsy”, you pointed out. “I never was drunk.”

He slowly nodded. “Right.” He ran a hand through his hair, before looking at the road again as the car started moving. “I’ll come up with you then.”

You nodded too, unable to find any words to say. All you knew was that you were going crazy inside, and that you weren’t even sure you’d make it up to your apartment. In truth, you were quite convinced you were going to have a heart attack right then and there.

You wet your lips, gulping as you swallowed trying to wet your throat that had turned dry. At the same time, knowing that Taehyung wanted to hang out with you… it made you warm inside. Made the butterflies feel safer, and the reciprocity of wanting to spend time with you made them realer. To think he’d step foot in your apartment… it filled you with an excitement you had never really known before, and all you knew was that you couldn’t wait for him to step in the private place that was yours. A place only your closest friends had ever been in before…

Yet there was a dangerous aura surrounding Taehyung. Something you hadn’t really seen before, an intensity to him that attracted you the way fire attracted a moth. It made your breathing a little shorter, and the beating of your heart a little faster.

What had you gotten yourself into?

*****

                 Your apartment felt small, now that Taehyung was standing in the middle of it. And really, it was a small place. A loft, with your bed in one corner atop a small flight of stairs, and a couch in the space between the kitchen and the so-called bedroom. There was a clock on the wall above the couch, and a TV on the wall facing it, though you never really watched TV all that much. Most of the time when you were at home was spent chilling on your laptop, watching k-dramas online or videos on Youtube.  

The plant your mom had gifted you when you had moved to Seoul proudly stood under the TV, next to a TV cabinet on top of which pictures of you and Eunjin smiled back at you. There were pictures of your family too, and you knew that one of them held a very young Taehyung, along with Eunjin and Jeongyu. Taehyung hadn’t noticed it yet, but you knew it would only be a matter of time.

“Welcome to my humble abode”, you said as you motioned to the space surrounding you, trying to ease the nerves that were threatening to overcome your senses.

Taehyung flashed a grin at you, one that had your insides going molten. “It’s pretty cosy, I like it.”

His words made you redden, and your eyes fell to the carpet in front of the couch. It was a plush light gray carpet, on which you lay whenever things got too intense at work and you needed a break from life. You could almost imagine the shape of you in the carpet from the last time you laid there, and you focused on it as Taehyung’s heavy gaze moved on your profile.

“Thank you”, you breathed before looking at him. “It’s clearly not as fancy as where you live but it’s what I can afford.”

He chuckled. “Who says I live somewhere fancy?”

You threw him a no-bullshit look, folding your arms on your chest as a reply.

“Okay, I might live somewhere fancy”, he said, raising his hands in defense. “No need to glare at me like that.”

You flushed red again. “I didn’t mean…”

“Y/n, you’re fine”, Taehyung reassured you. “I’m only teasing you.” He flashed another one of his boxy smiles, and you couldn’t help but smile at him too.

“Do you want something to drink?” you asked, moving towards the refrigerator in the corner of the kitchen space. “I don’t have much but I think I have banana milk.”

“Are you Jungkook-ie?” he asked, taking you by surprise.

“What?”

He shook his head. “Never mind. It’s just that Jungkook always drinks that.”

“I don’t blame him, it is so good.” A small excited smile took over your lips as you grabbed the milk from the fridge. “It’s heaven in a bottle.”

“People usually say that about alcohol”, Taehyung pointed out.

“That’s because they’ve never had banana milk.”

He laughed again, and it made your apartment seem warmer than it usually was. It made you feel warmer too, and you met Taehyung’s gaze.

He was beautiful. Incredibly so. The kind of man you were convinced women wrote books about. A man with a softness to him, a vulnerability to him that had always made him attractive to you. No matter who he was now, Taehyung had been the center of your gravity when you were younger, even though you had tried to play it cool. Years of not talking had not changed that, and you found yourself gravitating back towards him as you started drinking your banana milk.

“Can I have a taste of that?” he asked, voice falling to his baritone register.

Even his goddamn voice was attractive to you.

You took a long sip, letting the taste dance on your tongue before you handed the milk to him. His eyes met yours, and he looked at you as he drank, gaze never once faltering. It was intense, the way he looked at you, and you found you were too much of a coward to hold it. But when your eyes fell to his lips, you realized maybe you weren’t a coward all that much.

Because you desperately wanted to step closer to him and feel his lips against yours.

He handed you the banana milk back before sitting on the couch. You carefully watched him, eyes going down to his lap as he spread his thighs just a little.

Manspreading had never looked as good as when Kim Taehyung was doing it on your couch.

You moved closer to him, sitting with the top of your body angled towards him. He glanced at you, a small smirk adorning his lips. It left you confused for a time, but then again you were fully aware of what he might be thinking.

Hell, you had all but told him you wanted to sleep with him a few weeks ago. And had reiterated it in his car a little under an hour ago.

“How’s work been going?” he asked, taking the conversation on an unexpected curve.

You were glad for it though, because you had no idea how to approach the other subject, the elephant in the room. “It’s been busy, but I’ve had busier weeks”, you admitted. “I imagine it’s not as busy as you.”

“I’m pretty sure working for Samsung can get busy.” He raised his eyebrows, offering you a tight-lipped smile as you were about to deny it. “Don’t lie to me, I know you too well.”

You didn’t know your body could tingle from someone’s word. “Do you?”

A lazy smirk grew on his lips, and your eyes fell to it. “Oh, I do. After all this time, I still do.”

You had no idea how to interpret it, but it did make you feel hot again, like he had made you feel in the car. It was strange to think that it came naturally to Taehyung – making you feel like that. As if he knew the ins and outs of your brain even better than you did.

And maybe he did.

“How is this going to work?” you asked, a little awkwardly as you motioned between the two of you with the hand holding the banana milk.

Avoiding the elephant in the room was pointless after all. You busied yourself with a sip of banana milk as Taehyung’s face fell serious, looking away from you as he seemed to think.

“What do you want to know?” he asked after a time, his words echoing the conversation you had had under a blanket of stars in Daegu.

“Everything”, you replied, throat going dry once again.

He wet his lips, eyes dipping to yours. “You’ve never done anything at all, right?”

As embarrassing as it was, you nodded your head.

“Then I can’t do everything yet, can I?”

You gulped, slightly shaking your head.

“Use your words, Y/n.” The low voice he had used to utter your name made your blood boil in your veins.

“Why can’t you?” you asked, voice small.

“You deserve someone that takes their time with you”, he breathed.

You wondered if he could hear your heart beating out of your chest. “Someone?”

“It’s a good thing I’m the kind of man that likes to take his time”, he continued, not really answering your question. Your teeth instinctively dug in your bottom lip, and you froze as he reached up, thumb releasing your lip. “Don’t do that.”

You slowly nodded.

“Why don’t you finish your milk so we can get started, mmh?” he said, his low baritone voice engulfing you in its warmth as his hand slowly fell to his lap.

You gulped once again, eyes falling down to the forgotten plastic bottle in your hand. You looked at it as if it was foreign, before taking a small sip. Taehyung carefully watched you as you did so, intense gaze observing your features in a way that made you feel seen, like you had never been before.

As if no one had really seen you until Kim Taehyung had been gazing at you.

“I can always finish it later”, you muttered, before putting it down on the floor next to the couch. You sat back, angling your body towards him even more.

“Look at you, so eager to learn”, he said, smirking again. “No wonder you told me what you did that night.” He wet his lips and you found yourself unable to look away from his mouth.

“Gosh, Tae, do you speak to all women like that?”

He offered you a secretive smile, hand moving up between you until his thumb was pulling your lower lip away from the teeth you had unknowingly sunk into it. “Only to the pretty ones.”

Your breath caught in your throat, though you weren’t sure if it was because of his words or because he slowly leaned towards you. Anxiety moved through you, and you widened your gaze as his eyelids fell shut, right before he gently pressed his lips against yours.

You froze, unmoving, not knowing what to do as the plumpness of his mouth met your lips. Taehyung let out a small chuckle as he pulled away, eyes opening to meet your gaze. “Close your eyes, Y/n”, he breathed, caressing your bottom lip with his thumb again. “Just follow my lead.”

You nodded, and your eyelids fluttered shut as he kissed you again, ever so softly. Lips establishing a slow rhythm, one you found easier to follow after the first few seconds. Taehyung’s hand cupped your cheek, pulling you closer, as he turned his head into the kiss, angling his mouth so it met yours in a more intimate embrace.

You sighed, blood rushing to your cheeks as your thoughts zeroed in on the fact that you were currently kissing your childhood crush. A man wanted by so many girls in the world it was hard to believe he had chosen to be with you right now, in this moment.

It almost made you pull away, but when Taehyung swiped his tongue against your lower lip, all thoughts exited your brain and your hand shot to his chest, resting flatly against it. You could feel the beats of his heart, a constant melody that seemed just a little too quick for it to be normal, contrary to the erratic beats of your own heart. You could feel every beat as it echoed in your ribcage, pumping blood to your whole body, and maybe a little more to the warmth between your legs.

Taehyung’s tongue tasted your lips again, and this time you parted them, allowing him entrance. You let out a small breathy sound as his tongue met yours, and you could feel his mouth stretching into a smirk as he continued kissing you, rhythm still ever so calm and soft. As if he didn’t want you to be scared or intimidated by the act of kissing him.

You were way beyond that now.

Taehyung tasted sweet. He tasted of strawberries and honey, and it reminded you of the farm. Of days of summers past, spent in his company and that of his siblings and your brother. It reminded you of sunrays and warm breezes, of leaves dancing in the wind and birds singing in the trees. Of laughter echoing in the house with the red door at the end of the dirt road, where you had grown into the person that you were today.

Taehyung was reassuring, in a nostalgic kind of way. And maybe that, most of all, was the reason why you felt so comfortable with him, so willing to give yourself away to him. You didn’t know if it was safe, if the Taehyung you were with right now was the same that you had known back then, but you found you couldn’t stop.

You found you didn’t want to stop kissing him. Not when the very act of it was intoxicating, liberating, as if you were a bird that had just learned how to soar up above in the clouds.

He brushed his thumb on your cheekbone, bringing you back to reality before gently pulling a stray strand of hair behind your ear. It made butterflies take flight in your stomach, right as you deepened the kiss, pushing your tongue in his mouth just like he had been doing to you a moment ago. Taehyung answered by sucking on it, ever so gently, before pulling away.

The absence of his lips against yours grounded you back into reality, but you kept your eyes closed, chasing the remnants of the kiss in your memory, letting his flavour linger just a little longer.

“You’re such a good girl already”, Taehyung murmured, and his words had a burning sensation take the place of the soft warmth in your core.

“Tae…” you breathed, opening your eyes.

You found him already looking at you, with a slightly widened gaze. As if you were a surprise, something he had never thought he’d see. And maybe you were.

“For someone that has never kissed before, you sure know how to do it”, he said, always a little tease, and his lips spread into a smile. Into a grin, even.

Your blush deepened, right as the corners of your mouth tugged upwards too. “I followed your lead.”

He smirked. “As I said, you’re already such a good girl.”

You chuckled, a small feminine sound you hadn’t expected to have in you. Taehyung echoed it by tilting his head to the side, watching you as if you were a curiosity.

“What now?”

Your question had his mouth parting, smirk disappearing. His eyes clouded with that same desire you had seen earlier, turning darker than they already were. And Taehyung had a dark gaze, a gaze so deep you knew you could get lost in it.

You wondered how many girls had gotten lost in him before. The thought was almost enough to shower your arousal away, yet it clung to you as Taehyung ran a hand along your arm, fingers barely even grazing your skin.

“You will have to be patient, Y/n”, Taehyung said, offering you a wicked smirk that had your insides turning gooey. “This was your first kiss, we shouldn’t jump into something more right away, mmh?”

You wanted to ask why not, but the sweetness that had taken over his voice at his last words stopped you from doing so. Because it was sweet, the way he spoke. As if you were worth all of his time, a show he wanted to appreciate in its full length instead of rushing to the end.

It was a dangerous way to feel. A treacherous one, and you could already feel the ground beneath you tilting, threatening to make you fall. You could only hope your feet wouldn’t give up underneath you, or else you’d slide down the slope.

“I’ve already waited my whole life”, you pointed out, your lust finally winning over your will to remain silent. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Taehyung’s mouth spread in a thin line, as if your words had threatened to make him fall into insanity. He tsked, slowly shaking his head in disbelief. “Then why don’t you take off your shirt?”

You paused for only a half beat before grabbing the hem of it, pulling it over your head. The discarded piece of clothing met the floor, falling softly. Like a feather would fall, a feather from one of the many pillow fights you had shared. It was as if time had slowed, and it really felt like it, as Taehyung’s gaze dropped to your chest, drinking in the sight of you.

“So beautiful”, he whispered, and one of his hands reached forward, palming your breasts over your bra. You stiffened a little, and he met your gaze again, hand pulling away, remaining close enough for you to feel its warmth still. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

You nodded, doing your best not to think more than needed.

He chuckled. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Please touch me”, you quickly said, voice hitching in your throat as Taehyung grabbed you with that big hand of his again, leaning forward to catch your lips in a passionate kiss. It didn’t take long for his other hand to grab onto your other breast, and he pinched your hardened nipples through the fabric.

You moaned. It was an unexpected sound, one that came from deep within your throat. It seemed to set Taehyung haywire, because he grunted into the kiss, biting at your bottom lip. It made you moan again, right as his hands reached to your back to unclasp your bra. He only pulled away once the piece of clothing met your shirt on the floor, eyes falling to your naked breasts for half a second before he moved down, licking at one of your nipples.

Your hand moved in his hair, digits slightly shaking as you grabbed a handful of it to pull him back into another kiss, one that had your teeth clashing together. It didn’t slow you down. Not even a little bit, as Taehyung played with your nipples again, rolling the hardened buds between his thumb and forefinger.

As foreign as the feeling was, it made you arch your back, moaning in his mouth again. He kept going at it for a time, until his lips left yours to move down your neck, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses along your jaw and down to your collarbone. He sucked on it, leaving a small purple bruise behind before going lower, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. You could feel every swipe of his tongue on the sensitive bud, and your eyes fell shut as you arched even more, pushing your breasts into his face as he massaged the free one with one of his hands.

His other hand hovered at your waist, holding you gently. As if he wanted to give you a chance to escape if you wanted to, but still needed to feel more of your skin against his careful digits. And you wanted to feel more of his, you wanted to feel all of his body pressed against all of yours.

A dangerous way to feel indeed.

“Tae…” you breathed again, pulling at his hair a little.

He looked up at you, lips glossed by his ministrations against your nipple, or maybe by the kiss you had previously shared. “Everything okay?”

“I want more.”

He smirked, that same wicked smirk that made you burn inside. “Be patient, Y/n.”

You let out a frustrated sigh, one that hitched in your throat as the hand that was hovering next to your waist moved between your legs, barely grazing your clothed pussy before resting on your inner thigh.

“I won’t have sex with you tonight”, Taehyung told you.

And though the revelation disappointed you, you slowly nodded your head. “That’s okay.”

“I didn’t bring any condoms”, Taehyung added. “Otherwise I’d fuck you all night long.”

His crude words made your eyes widen, right as you pressed your thighs together in the hopes of getting a little friction where you desperately needed it. “You can’t say stuff like that”, you complained.

Taehyung offered you a toothy grin that inched far closer to endearment than lust. “I can and I will.”

You rolled your eyes, though they rolled to the back of your head as he pressed his hand against your core again.

“So receptive”, he praised you. “Why don’t you lay on your back?”

It was a command in a clever disguise. You were pretty sure no one could ever disobey Taehyung, not when he spoke with that deep baritone voice of his. You moved, lying down, legs going on each side of him. He looked down at you, hungrily, teeth slightly biting at his lower lip as he drank you in.

And he did drink you in, making you feel as if you were the finest bottle of wine he had ever tasted. The nectar of the gods, ambrosia making him salivate with the thought of tasting you. Of tasting more of you, all of you, until he knew every flavour of you.

“What do you think of when you touch yourself?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he ran a hand on your thigh.

Even though you were still wearing pants, the press of his fingers against you had arousal pooling at your core. Always more, your body responding to him in a way it had never responded to you.

You remained silent, half trying to think about a witty answer and half trying not to moan as he pressed a thumb on your clothed self, right on top of your clit. And he pressed hard, a shot of sensitivity running up your spine and making your legs tighten around him. He chuckled at your reaction, before releasing the pressure just enough for thoughts to start taking form in your head again.

And you didn’t know the answer to his question. Most of the time you just thought of romantic scenarios that you had seen in movies or read about in books taking the forefront of your fantasies. But as you looked up at Taehyung through half-lidded eyes, you knew your fantasies were going to change, to morph into the man between your legs.

“I don’t know”, you replied, breath itching in your throat as he pressed harder again.

“Should I give you stuff to think about?”

It was the low voice. The baritone timber of him. You’d let him tell you anything with that voice of his.

Blood rushed to your cheeks as he watched you pointedly, clearly expecting a reply.

“You already are”, you mumbled, and he offered you another wicked smile.

“Then let’s make this better, mmh?”

You would never refuse him making you feel better. So you nodded, arching your back a little as your hips instinctively grinded up into his hand. The dark gaze returned as he pushed you down, before bending forward to press a kiss on your jaw.

The proximity of his mouth to yours had your lips parting open, and a second later your mouths crashed, another passionate kiss searing the deal between you. Burning it into your flesh, turning you into his. Because the way Taehyung kissed you, the way he touched you… It made you feel as if you were his.

And maybe you had always been.

As he kissed you, Taehyung let his hand wander up to your waistband, fingers blindly searching for the button of your pants. Once that was freed, he slid his hand in, sighing in your mouth as you sucked on his bottom lip.

“Fuck, Y/n”, he said. “You’re dripping.”

The sound you let out was incoherent. Somewhere between a moan and a whine, and it disappeared into his mouth, swallowed by him as he kissed you again. And he kissed you for a while, his hand not moving from where he was touching you, above your panties, fingers pressed to your middle.

As if he wanted to feel your juice soaking your panties until they became uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to finger you?” he asked once he stopped kissing you, resting his forehead against yours.

The gesture was sweet even in the heated atmosphere, and a shy smile grew on your lips. “Please”, you murmured.

His hand left you and you almost whined at the loss of contact. You heard fabric rustling, and your eyelids fluttered open to the sight of Taehyung slowly unbuttoning his dress shirt, hungry gaze waiting for yours. And when your gazes locked, Taehyung wet his lips with a dart of his tongue, mouth falling open before it slid into a smirk.

That smirk was going to be the death of you.

“It’s unfair that I’m still fully dressed when I’m about to take your pants off, no?” he teased, even going to the extent of winking at you as he shrugged off his shirt, sending it right to your own shirt on the ground.

As much as his face was attractive, your eyes fell to his body. And it was your turn to drink in the sight of him, to admire the perfect sculpted body displayed in front of you as if it was fine art. Beautiful art, crafted into the shape of the man between your legs.

Once Taehyung was bare-chested, he moved back to your pants, thumbs hooking in the hem as he sent you a questioning glance. You answered by cocking an eyebrow, not really knowing why uncertainty had slid into his gaze.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he enquired, voice gentle yet firm.

Asking for consent like that made Taehyung twice as attractive to you. You nodded your head, biting your lips. “Never been so sure about anything.”

You were bold tonight. Bold under the dark gaze of your best friend’s brother. Someone that had once been the source of all of your daydreams. Teenage you probably was screaming inside of you, somewhere in the corners of your heart where she still reigned. Yet you felt courageous in the vicinity of Kim Taehyung, as if him being attracted to you made you feel twice as powerful. And really, it did. You felt beautiful in his presence.

“That’s good”, Taehyung said, a cocky smirk once again gracing his lips as he started pulling your pants down.

You helped him get past the ass area, before lying back down on the couch. Your gaze remained lost in his as the pants moved all the way down your legs. And he moved slowly, taking his time, enjoying every shiver that shook through you whenever his fingers pressed into your skin a little harder.

Once the pants were off – the socks had come off with them – Taehyung settled himself between your legs again. His eyes hadn’t left yours yet, but you knew that he wanted to look. Knew that he was fighting the male instinct to gaze down at your core, and at the wetness that was pooling on your clothed pussy.

His large hands slowly moved to your thighs, settling right above your knees. They were hot against your skin, burning even, and they remained unmoving for a time. When you shivered again, Taehyung let out a deep chuckle that had you seeing stars. He knew what he was doing to you, and he was enjoying it. Far too much for your own good.

His hands started sliding up, ever so slowly, right as his gaze returned to the dark dangerous look. It was even darker now, and he almost looked like a demon sitting between your legs. Like a starved demon that’d finally get a taste of a virgin soul. And though you were a virgin, you were not innocent. You didn’t have to look between his legs to see his erection pressing against his pants. You knew Taehyung wanted you, from the harsh set of his jaw to the slight tilt of his head to the side.

His fingers tickled your skin as they moved up, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. You didn’t dare move lest he’d stop, so you froze. Stopped breathing altogether as you waited for his touch on the place you wanted him the most.

Yet it never came. Taehyung stopped before he reached your core. You could feel the ghost of his touch between your legs, maybe because his thumbs were almost reaching up to your folds. But not quite, stopping just an inch from your pussy.

And then his hands left you entirely, and you shot a glare at him.              

His face had turned serious, and he looked so different from how he usually looked you found your boldness fleeing from you.

“On your stomach”, he ordered. As you hesitated for a time, Taehyung cocked an eyebrow. “I want to see that perfect ass of yours.”

You flushed red, and if you hadn’t been as aroused as you were, you probably would have told him your ass was far from perfect. But you had no words left in you, only obedience. So you moved, awkwardly turning until your legs had switched places on each side of him.

Taehyung’s hands moved back on you then, grabbing your waist carefully as you looked at him over your shoulder.

“So fucking pretty”, he praised you, and the slap he landed on your ass had your body moving forward.

It stung, but Taehyung quickly massaged the hurt away. And then he kept massaging you, his big hands moving up until they found all the knots in your back, easing the tension out of you better than anything else could have.

Everywhere he touched you he left a burning trail behind, until you were pretty sure you were going to combust if he didn’t touch between your legs soon. It was like he had sensed it, because Taehyung moved back down your back, and one of his hands cupped an ass cheek while the other moved between your legs, skilled fingers immediately going to your clit.

You moaned, surprising even yourself, and you hid your face in the couch.

“Don’t muffle your sounds”, Taehyung reprimanded you, and he landed another slap to your ass. “I want to hear every little sound you make while I’m pleasuring you.”

Right on cue, his fingers moved on your clit again, and another moan found its way up your throat. You almost choked on it, yet the sound fell from your parted lips, and Taehyung slapped your ass again for good measure.

“Good girl.”

One of his long fingers moved up, between your legs. Touching your center, pressing on the wetness pooling there. Just enough for you to whine, hips moving instinctively again.

“Be patient”, he said, tutting. “I’ll give you everything you want.”

Your arousal was rising, inside of you. Reaching heights you had never seen before, and the sight of the world from up there was scary. You could only hope the fall wouldn’t be too harsh.

Taehyung kept pressing circles on your clit, playing with the sensitive organ. His touch wasn’t too hard, yet with your panties it felt uncomfortable. A little too much, and the friction of the wet fabric against you made you tighten your legs.

“Tae?” you breathed out. He stopped moving, expectantly silent waiting for you to continue. “Can you take off my panties?”

“You’re getting sensitive, mmh?”

You wanted to punch the male cockiness out of him but all you could do was nod your head as you glanced at him over your shoulder.

He was looking down at you with that half smile of his, and he wet his lips as one of his fingers hooked on the side of your panties, the pad of his digit resting on one of your folds. You gulped, trying to hold his gaze, but as he started slowly sliding a finger in, your eyelids fluttered shut, sealing together.

Suddenly, you couldn’t remember what you had just asked. You couldn’t remember anything, as your mind went blank. All that was left was the slow inching of his finger inside of you.

“You play with yourself like this?”

His question had you furrowing your brows. “Tae…”

“You’re so wet I could probably fuck you like that”, he said, sounding as if he was pondering. As if he was debating doing it and you almost wanted to beg him. To beg him to do it, and fuck you into oblivion. “But we can always do that later.”

As he talked his finger started pulling out, and he quickly pushed it back in before it had fully exited your pussy. You let out another breathy sound, though this time it took the shape of his name. He started pumping, slowly, and the squelching sound between your legs would have embarrassed you if you hadn’t already been too far gone to even acknowledge it.

Right when you thought you were going to be able to open your eyes and look at him, Taehyung pushed another one of his long digits inside of you. It stretched you, just a little, but it didn’t hurt. It just felt even better, all sensations doubling up inside of you until stars danced on the blackness of your tightly shut eyelids. He added scissoring motions to the whole ordeal, stretching you wide open as his hungry eyes looked at you. The way he moved made your panties rub on your clit again, and you let out a small whine.

Taehyung stopped moving, fingers knuckle deep inside of you, as he massaged your ass with his other hand. “Everything okay?”

“My panties”, you let out, unable to form a full sentence.

Yet it was enough for Taehyung to get the clue and his fingers pulled out of you as he grabbed the hem of your panties to take them off of you. You waited patiently for him to touch you again, eyes fluttering open as he struggled to pull your panties down your legs.

“Kinda hard in this position”, he muttered, and you blushed a little as you met his gaze.

He looked ethereal. Hair a little out of place with a dark strand falling in front of his eyes. His skin was glowing in a honey shade that gave him a warm vibe, that same warm vibe he had always been filled with back when you had been too young to know about sex and the likes.

And though you now knew, everything felt the same. Taehyung was always going to be his same self. Or so you hoped.

You moved, sitting up a little to help him take off your panties. It had your eyes slide to his lap, and to the prominent bulge that was pushing against his pants. He looked big, even hidden from your eyes, and you could feel your mouth salivating.

You wanted to get a taste of him. But you had no idea how to do it, no idea how to vocalize your want, so you only turned until you were lying on your back, half-lidded eyes searching Taehyung’s face for his own gaze.

But his gaze was elsewhere. His gaze was on the spot between your parted legs, where juice was slowly dripping. Your brain started forming a thought about your couch getting ruined, but before it could fully take shape Taehyung’s eyes snapped to yours.

“I think you’ve got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.”

The compliment made you blush, and your thighs instinctively moved to close together. He tutted, stopping them with his large hands.

“None of that, I want to see all of you.”

“You already have”, you muttered, cheeks turning a dark shade of red.

He let out a small laugh as he massaged your thighs up and down a couple of times again. “Doesn’t mean that I got enough.”

A smile pulled at the corners of your lips, but before you could say something one of his hands had found its way to your core again, and he slid two fingers in. Your mouth fell open as your eyes locked with his. He pumped his fingers in a couple of times before arching them, finding a spot inside of you that had the corners of your vision turning blurry.

“I think I could make you cum like this”, he said.

All you could do was nod because, sure enough, an orgasm was on the horizon, and you could feel the wave crashing towards you. But Taehyung slowed, almost coming to a full stop, before sitting a little farther away. You watched him curiously, until he bent down, his face coming dangerously close to your heat.

He blew a hot breath on your sensitive clit, and a hot shiver shot up your spine. “Can I eat you out?”

You nodded, quickly. “Please…” you breathed out.

Taehyung didn’t need any more to dive in. And dive in he did, lips closing around your clit as he sucked it, tongue flicking at it. You moaned, loudly, and one of your hands got lost in his hair. His fingers resumed their ministrations against that sweet spot inside of you, right as he rested his tongue flatly against your clit, rubbing it until the wave rushed closer to you. You could feel the orgasm taking shape in your lower stomach, a burning sensation that promised to wash away what was left of your sanity. And you didn’t even know if anything was left: all you knew was that your walls were clenching against his fingers, and the grunt he let out pushed you over the edge.

You came in a blinding flash of white light, your lips parting open on a silent moan as you pushed your hips up, pressing yourself harder against his tongue. Your pussy pulsated against his fingers and yet he didn’t slow down. Just kept on pleasuring you, milking every last drop of your orgasm out of you until you were pretty sure you’d die from the oversensitivity. But you didn’t want him to stop, only wanted to feel his fingers inside of you and his tongue against your clit.

Taehyung had other things in mind though, because he pulled away, pressing a kiss on the inside of your thigh as he moved up to a kneeling position. You could barely focus on him. No, you were blinded by the aura surrounding him. An aura of ecstasy that made you want to wrap your legs around him, until you’d feel the bulge in his pants pressing against you.

He bit his lip, though he let you pull him closer. Even pushed forward, and your eyes shut as his erection pressed against your sensitive clit.

“Way to ruin my Prada pants”, he stated and that most of all brought you back down to reality.

You released him from the prison of your legs, slowly pushing yourself up so you could sit. But your arms gave out under you, the remnants of your orgasm making you feel far too weak for you to sit yet.

“Sorry”, you mumbled sheepishly.

He bent down, pressing a kiss on your lips that had your eyes shutting instinctively as you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close to you. You wondered if your hearts were beating in synch as the warm skin of his chest pressed against your breasts, and before you could tell Taehyung pulled away.

“It’s okay”, he reassured you. “Where’s the bathroom?”

It took you a long time to understand why he was asking. And you only did when you realized he was holding his hand away from the fabric of your couch, not wanting to stain it.

“Oh”, you let out. You glanced to the side, until your eyes fell on a closed door. “Over there.”

Taehyung followed your line of gaze, nodding his head before getting up. “I’ll be right back.”

“I should probably get cleaned up too”, you said, and he offered you a warm smile.

“I’ll bring you back a towel.” It was said sweetly, and you couldn’t help the flutter that took over your heart as he turned around, exposing the skin of his back to your eyes.

You watched him go, and watched him wash his hands from the open door of the bathroom as he hadn’t shut it behind him. He threw you a glance, probably because he could feel your heavy gaze on the side of his face. He turned off the tap, cocking an eyebrow as he grabbed the towel you usually used to dry your hands. He walked back towards you, and his gait was predatory. Maybe because it was slow and he was goddamn Kim Taehyung, but mostly because his eyes still were set in that dark look.

You didn’t think you’d survive that look.

“Let me clean you up”, he said with that low voice of his as he stopped next to you, before sitting in the spot where he had been a moment ago.

As with everything that came with Taehyung, you didn’t find it in you to say no. You only winced when he pressed the towel between your legs, your overstimulated pussy feeling every tiny fiber of the cloth as he cleaned you up.

When he was done, he put the towel on the floor beside the couch. Your eyes followed his every move, and before you could realize it, you said, “I want to suck your dick”.

He paused as he was almost sitting back in his spot, and his head turned towards you.

“Do you?” he asked, as his two eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.

You had taken Kim Taehyung by surprise, hadn’t you?

“I want to make you feel good”, you said, and you had the decency to blush as you realized just how crude you were being.

He wet his lips, and one of his large hands palmed himself through his pants. “Do you think you could take it all?”

You looked down at his lap, eyes following the shape of his dick underneath the fabric. You actually didn’t know. He looked big, far bigger than what you thought was possible. Maybe because you had never really seen a dick before, not feeling like going to the trouble of downloading porn just so you could get off to it.

It wasn’t like you had really needed it to get off anyway. And with what had just happened, you didn’t think you’d ever need it.

“You can teach me how.” You said it innocently, teeth sinking into your lower lip.

Taehyung didn’t reply. He just stared at you until your eyes met his again. From the periphery of your vision, you saw him unbutton and unzip his pants. His hand slid in, probably wrapping against his dick. Most definitely jerking himself off, in all truth. It made your breath catch in your throat as you kept holding the intensity of his gaze.

He was going to make you catch fire soon.

“Had I known you’d be so greedy I’d have talked to you sooner”, he murmured, adding your name at the end in that low dangerous baritone of his voice.

You couldn’t resist. You closed the space between you, lips meeting his. You wondered if the salty taste that had overcome his mouth was from eating you out, and it just turned you on further. As if you weren’t already a wildfire.

You let one of your hands move until it was touching him. His dick was moving under the fabric as he jerked himself and you let out a moan as his tongue slipped in your mouth. He answered it by grunting, a guttural sound that had you see stars.

His hand moved out of his pants, moving up until he was cupping your cheek. You kept on palming him, and his dick twitched under your fingers.

“You’re so big”, you murmured against his lips.

He inhaled sharply, before pulling away from the kiss. “I want to see your pretty lips wrapped around me.”

He moved your hand so he could take off his pants. You couldn’t help looking down until your eyes caught sight of his dick. You were right: he was big. Big and angry red and leaking precum all over the head as his dick rested against his abdomen. A thick vein ran up and down his cock, and part of you thought you could see his pulse in it. You reached forward, fingers grazing the vein, following it until you moved to the head. You collected the precum on your forefinger, before looking Taehyung in the eyes as you sucked your finger clean.

Kim Taehyung tasted heavenly. Or maybe you were just drunk with lust.

Your little act had him rest his head against the couch, letting out a low curse that had you smirk.

“You’re so attractive”, he muttered as he looked at you through half-lidded eyes. You let your finger go as your lips spread in a smirk, before you moved off from the couch. Taehyung watched you as you kneeled in front of him. He spread his legs just a little to allow you easy access, and you caught sight of his balls. You wondered what it would feel like to suck on them and you instinctively leaned forward, licking between the two of them.

“Fuck.”

His small word had you let out a small chuckle. It made you feel sexy, powerful, and you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock.

“You’ll have to guide me”, you said.

He looked down, meeting your gaze as you pumped his dick slowly.

“First, you can grab it harder”, he told you. “I like when it’s tight.”

You shivered, obeying as your grip on his dick tightened. You licked your lips, waiting expectantly.

“You might want to suck on the head first. I don’t think I could stop myself from fucking your pretty mouth.”

“Then do it.”

It was too bold. You were too bold, a stranger to yourself. Maybe the demon inhabiting Taehyung’s eyes had inhabited you too, and it had made you go insane.

Taehyung hissed. “Let’s keep some stuff for another time, shall we?” He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, fingers lingering against your cheek. “I just want to feel your lips and tongue on me.”

You wondered if he could feel the heat of your cheeks as you flushed red. You doubted so, as you had been flushed red with ecstasy all night.

“I don’t know how to do it”, you breathed, sounding a little more like yourself for once.

He smiled. “Just lick at the head. Taste me.”

You held his gaze as you moved forward, tongue darting out to touch the head. You didn’t blink once as you swirled your tongue around him, collecting all the precum until the salty taste had coated all of your tongue. “Like that?” you said, a little innocently.

His shallow breathing was enough of an answer. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you did it again, this time following the base of the head. You found a spot at the back that felt a little different, and you pushed on it.

Taehyung grabbed the side of your head, before closing his hand on some of your hair. It pulled at your scalp, but not enough to hurt. It only made your eyes open.

“Do that again”, he instructed.

You obeyed and he threw his head back. You made a mental note that that seemed to work, before moving a little closer to him, until your mouth was hovering over his dick.

“Suck me”, he breathed, right as you wrapped your lips around his dick.

You licked at the slit of his dick, cleaning it from the new precum that had accumulated there. Taehyung grunted, and a second later you were moving down his dick.

He hissed. “Careful with your teeth.”

You hadn’t realized you had grazed him with your teeth, but you assumed he was in a better position to tell. You loosened your jaw, before pulling away. Taehyung let you do it, but as you were about to entirely let go of his dick, he thrusted up.

You gagged and he let go of your hair as you sat back on your heels.

“I am so sorry”, he apologized, eyes round as you met his gaze. “I didn’t mean…”

You chuckled, blinking away the tears that had formed because of the gag reflex. “It’s okay.”

He wet his lips, nodding his head. “You don’t have to suck my dick.”

You rolled your eyes, before jerking him up and down a few times. It shut him up, and he rested his head against the couch again, eyes fluttering shut.

Taehyung was attractive, from this angle. Sharp jaw that could cut through steel, dark locks falling all around his face. His chest had taken on a red flush, and it moved up and down quickly with his quick breathing.

You licked the head of his dick again, focusing on the spot you had found earlier. You sucked on it, using your tongue to play with it a little more, before you took him in again. This time, you didn’t try moving down his dick again. You focused on sucking on the head, hollowing your cheeks as you pumped his cock, keeping the tight grip he seemed to like.

He grunted as your tongue circled his head. “If you want”, he said after a time, “you can play with my balls at the same time.”

You immediately reached up with your free hand, grabbing his balls in your palm. You tightened your grip around them, and Taehyung shuddered under your touch.

“A little gentler with the balls, baby”, he said, chuckling.

You pulled away. “Sorry.”

“No”, he breathed, shaking his head. “You’re doing great.”

You had no idea if that was true, but it made your mouth salivate for more of his taste. So you guided him in your mouth again, this time taking him as far deep as you could. He moaned, even while half of his cock didn’t even fit in. You jerked him off, resting your tongue flat against him until you found the thick vein you had seen earlier.

You hollowed your cheeks, and your gaze locked with Taehyung as he finally opened his eyes. The dark look in his gaze was different now, as if he was about to break. And maybe he was going to break, his cock getting harder in your mouth as you bobbed your head up and down. Once in a while, you choked on him, and he let out a deep grunt that only made you want to go faster, to take more of him in. It was hard in the position, so you kept using your hands.

Your jaw ached, from how large he was. From having to keep your mouth open so wide to be able to take him in. It was a dull ache, and you ignored it, focusing on him. Focusing on making him feel good as you moved to a quick rhythm he established by pushing your head up and down on him.

You didn’t mind. You liked that he took control. It made a new heat pool between your legs, and you moaned against his cock.

“I’m going to cum soon”, Taehyung told you, before letting out a broken moan that sounded like your name. “Are you going to be a good girl and swallow everything?”

You would have said yes had you been in a position where you could talk. Instead, you moaned again, sucking on him harder. Taehyung moaned too, in a deep sound that made you shiver with lust for him, and a second later hot spurts of his cum hit the back of your throat. Your eyes shut, and you kept on sucking him, swallowing everything he threw at you. And he came a lot, the bitter taste making it very hard not to gag. As he came, Taehyung’s second hand grabbed your head, and his hips thrusted forward again. Not enough to make you choke around him, luckily enough.

When you were sure you had milked the last of his cum from his cock, you pulled away, licking your lips clean once you were sitting back on your heels. Taehyung looked spent on the couch, yet he pushed himself up a little, until he was leaning towards you.

“Open your mouth”, he said, holding onto your jaw with a firm grip. You obeyed, showing him that you had swallowed everything. He smirked, patting your cheek. “The best girl.”

You nodded, blushing a little as your mouth fell shut. He held your gaze for a time, before glancing around your apartment. His eyes eventually fell to your banana milk next to the couch, the drink long forgotten in the heat and passion you had shared.

“You might want to drink that to change the taste”, he said, letting out a soft laugh.

Your eyes dipped to his softening cock, and you nodded your head as you got up. “Let me just grab a shirt to put on.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Put my shirt on.”

Still that commanding tone of his… it was going to make you go crazy.

Scratch that, you were already crazy. Far more than you had ever thought you’d be. Hell, you had just given a blowjob to your best friend’s older brother. To Kim Taehyung, a member of the biggest boyband in the world.

You grabbed his dress shirt. It was a soft pink colour. For a moment you thought you had seen it somewhere, but the ecstasy that still clung to you made it hard to think. You put it on, buttoning up until your body was finally hidden from his hungry eyes. Yet they didn’t look all that hungry anymore. They just looked tired, positively so.

“I can’t believe we did this”, he said, a little breathlessly, as you finally sat next to him again, banana milk in hand. While you had been putting his shirt on, he had put his pants back on, hiding his soft dick from view. Yet you still could admire the warm skin of his chest, and the red flush that adorned the top part of it.

“Eunjin is never going to believe this”, you muttered.

Taehyung met your gaze, eyes widening a little. “She cannot know.” You paused, banana milk halfway to your mouth. Taehyung must have read something in your eyes, because he continued, “She’ll kill me if she knows. She already was pissed that I let you sleep in my bed the night of her party.”

You were surprised at the disappointment that rose inside of you. It tasted bitter, but not the kind of bitter Taehyung’s cum had tasted like. No, it tasted of regret.

“Oh”, you let out. You busied yourself with drinking the milk to hide the disappointment. Taehyung noticed it, though. You were pretty sure he did, so you quickly said, “It’s okay. Just weird, because we tell each other everything.”

Taehyung slowly nodded, wetting his lips. “I know.” He once again reached up, putting a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I just don’t want the drama that would come with it.”

You didn’t really want it either. And he was right, Eunjin could cause a lot of drama if she wanted. You loved her endlessly, but you didn’t want her to scold you for achieving one of your teenage fantasies.

“Besides, I’d like to see you again”, Taehyung added. “I need to be alive for that, and we both know Jinnie will murder me if she knows.”

You laughed. Taehyung wanted to see you again?

“I’d rather you not die”, you said.

Taehyung offered you a secretive smile accompanied by a tilt of his head to the side. You held his dark gaze. Somewhere in its depth you could feel the demon watching you. And even though you were happy Taehyung wanted to see you again, the demon lurking in the shadows had your heart squeezing in your chest.

You were pretty sure it was just a matter of time before it ripped it from your ribcage.

 ***

               Kim Taehyung was a kind human being. Sweet as honey, with a smile that spread warmth wherever he went. You had seen him again three times, after that very first time, and he still swept you off your feet. He took to caring for you – offering you food and letting you wear his clothes whenever you felt like it. But Kim Taehyung was a busy man, and weeks passed without you hanging out.

You never had sex. The three times you had hung out had just been filled with cuddling, holding hands and make-out sessions that left you breathless. The orgasms he pulled out of you contributed to it too, you were pretty sure. Never going further than preliminaries, Taehyung still managed to make you come undone under his skilled fingers. But he never gave in to more. Whenever you asked, he said that you weren’t ready, and that you had to be patient.

You were tired of being patient. But then he kissed your forehead, smiled that sweet smile of his, and your annoyance dwindled away.

You hadn’t seen the demon in his eyes again, after that first time. Or you had just become blind to it. Sometimes you thought it didn’t really show up because Taehyung appreciated spending time with you. And he did say so. He only looked slightly uncomfortable when you suggested having sex for real, so you had decided to stop asking.

He’d give it to you whenever the time was right.

The Holidays rushed in, a little under two months after that first time you had seen him, and as they did family traditions settled in. You moved back to Daegu for the week off you had – first time you had it off since you had started working for Samsung. You were excited for it, mostly because you’d get to spend it with Eunjin’s family and yours. Even your brother was coming, along with his fiancée.

It promised to be an exciting time indeed.

“Do you think I should wear this?” Eunjin asked.

You were currently sprawled on her bed, scrolling through Instagram as she unpacked her suitcase. Sung-tan-jul was on the morrow, and it seemed Eunjin wanted to dress up for it. Which was useless, because it was just going to be your family and hers, and none of you had ever really been traditional.

“Uh?” you let out, scrolling to the next picture on your feed. It was a BTS edit, and your cheeks flushed red as Taehyung appeared on the screen.

To think Kim Taehyung had been between your legs more than once was the strangest thought. It felt surreal, yet it was the truth. A truth set in stone, one he reminded you of as he texted you. Your phone dinged, and Eunjin threw herself on the bed next to you.

“You’re not even listening.”

You blushed, hiding the notification from her. “Just wear whatever, it’s not like it really matters.”

It was a lie, sort of. Because you had prepared your prettiest outfits for the week, knowing that Taehyung would be here. You wanted to look good for him, because God knew Kim Taehyung never looked bad.

“I’ve looked through your clothes and you just brought designer stuff.” She rolled her eyes as you glanced at her. “It’s like you’re trying to impress someone.”

You hoped she didn’t see you blanch because you sure had.

“You know I like fashion”, you said.

That wasn’t a lie. You had always liked fashion, and you had gotten a raise earlier this year at work that had allowed you to start indulging in your passion, buying clothes you had never thought you would be able to afford.

“You do, and it’s annoying because you have a better sense of style than I do and I always look bad next to you.”

You sent her a pointed glance. “Bitch, you are the prettiest. I don’t have the choice but to dress well if I want to compare.”

Eunjin tsked, yet she remained silent as a smile stretched on her lips at the compliment.

You fell into a comfortable silence, and you continued scrolling through your phone. Eunjin did the same next to you, and she eventually started filling the silence with talks of her new work crush.

Scratch that, she was complaining about the guy. But you knew by the way she was getting worked up that there was more to it. She was your best friend after all.

You were surprised that she hadn’t realized the change in you. The change Taehyung had brought to you. Maybe because it was hidden, that change. Just for you and him to know. It felt exciting, to have a secret to hide. Like you were doing something you shouldn’t be doing, and the thrill of it had you craving for Taehyung’s touch a little more every day.

“Does she always complain like that?” the man’s deep baritone voice said from the door.

It was like thinking of him had summoned him out of thin air. Eunjin yelped, jumping out of bed to embrace Taehyung.

“Oppa, you idiot!” she said. “I thought you were only coming tomorrow.”

He smiled at you over her shoulder. A secretive smile, one that had butterflies forming in your stomach and warmth blossoming between your legs.

The effect he had on you… it was dangerous, considering you were going to spend a week under the same roof as him without having the opportunity to really spend time alone together.

“I was able to come earlier”, he said as they pulled away from their embrace. “Hi, Y/n.”

You shut your phone, sitting up in the bed. “Hey, Tae.”

Eunjin had her brows knit together when she turned to look at you. You had messed up, hadn’t you?

“Since when are you so casual with him?” she threw at you, tone accusative.

You shrugged your shoulders, hoping she couldn’t see your heart beating out of your chest. “Maybe since the party you threw during which he had to take care of me because you got me too drunk?”

Taehyung stifled a laugh as Eunjin’s gaze widened. “I got you drunk? Girl, you did that all by yourself.”

Maybe you had. You just offered her a crooked grin, before meeting Taehyung’s gaze. The world seemed to slow around you, and for a moment there was just you and him. You wished you could close the space between you, press your lips to taste the honey sweetness of his, but you resisted, your grin melting into a tight-lipped smile instead. He replied with a wink that went unnoticed to Eunjin before saying that dinner was soon going to be ready. Eunjin pushed him out of the room, before shutting the door behind her.

“Let me get changed before we go down.”

And that was how the Holidays began for you. It was warm, fun and nostalgic, reminding you of younger days. As everything did, when it came to the Kims and their childhood house. Your childhood house too, as you had spent most of your time here. It was also the first time your brother’s fiancée, Choi Ryunjin, spent time like that with your family. She had been very shy around Taehyung at first, but she had soon melted under the warmth of his smile, and the group that had once been five was six.

It was perfect. Sung-tan-jul, that is. With laughter and whiskey, and gifts exchanged next to a plastic Christmas tree, as snow fell lazily outside. There wasn’t a lot of it, but still the world outside was soon covered by a white blanket that made for a perfect Christmas.

It was an idyllic picture, just as much as the new memories you were making.

Taehyung was warm. Warmth incarnate, even. You shared longing looks and quick touches, when nobody was looking. It made your heart race, but you knew better than to go to him in the middle of the night. Even though your body was aching for it, you just wanted to spend time with him as a friend.

A little foolish part of you hoped it would help with the relationship you shared. Though situationship was probably a more accurate word.

Eunjin didn’t seem to suspect a thing in the days that followed. Didn’t notice that Taehyung always managed to sit next to you, only so he could press his thigh against yours. Taehyung was a touchy man and you loved it to no end. It made you feel important, even if all you were was some sort of friends with benefits.

On the day before New Year’s Eve, the house fell silent for the first time in almost a week, most of everyone deciding to go enjoy the nice weather outside with a stroll through the fields, while the mothers made a trip to the market to gather whatever was needed for the celebrations the next day. You had stayed behind because you wanted to get some work done, and you were sitting in Eunjin’s dad’s office when Taehyung appeared at the door, cheeks pink from the cold outside.

“You should come with us”, he said, hands hidden behind his back.

Even dressed casually Taehyung looked good. Black jeans paired with a black t-shirt that he had tucked in his pants, and he had completed the look with a black belt made of real leather. His hair was ruffled by the wind outside, and the dust of pink on his features made him look so real.

Real and human in the most beautiful way, for a man that had been stealing your breath away for so long now.

“I’m almost done with work”, you said, stretching as you held in a yawn.

Taehyung leaned against the doorframe, his hands still hidden behind his back. “You shouldn’t be working during the holidays.”

“I’m pretty sure you are used to working during the holidays.”

He grinned sheepishly. “Not this year though. And I’d like to spend some time with you.”

It hit you then, that you hadn’t even had a second to yourselves since coming here. Just stolen touches and glances whenever you could, but nothing that you could add to the memories you had been making with Taehyung ever since November. Memories that were just yours to know, your little secret that made for the most beautiful garden in your heart.

“Do you?” you said as blood rushed to your cheeks.

He nodded, before pushing up from the door frame and walking towards you. “I haven’t even had the chance to give you your Sung-tan-jul gift.”

Your eyes widened as he revealed what he had been hiding behind his back: a red velvet box, with an elegant bow holding it close. It looked expensive, and you quickly shook your head.

“Oh no, Tae, you shouldn’t have gotten...”

The smile on his lips turned into a dangerous smirk that had your words die in your throat. He held out the box, and you knew you had turned a shade darker as you grabbed it.

“What is it?” you asked as you ran fingers on the soft velvet.

“Open it.”

You threw him a cautious glance, before gently pulling on the bow until it came undone. You hesitated for half a second before lifting the lid of the box and you were left dumbfounded for a time. Staring at the contents of the box without realizing what they were.

And then realization fell upon you, and you quickly put the lid back on the box.

“Oh my God, Taehyung, why did you give me this here?” you said, as your heart beat frantically in your chest. “What if someone sees it?”

He shrugged, a boyish smile gracing his pretty features. “Nobody is inside.”

“But someone could…”

“It’s just for you to know, sweetheart”, Taehyung interjected, and once again your words died on your lips. “I just thought we could take the next step in all of this.” His last words were punctuated by a motion of his to the air surrounding you.

All of this… Did he really think you would be willing to get tied up and blindfolded here? And you were pretty sure the leathery thing in the middle of the box was a whip of some sort…

Kim Taehyung was out of his mind, and you couldn’t even bring it in you to be mad at you. No, the blood that had raced to your cheeks had trickled down to your core, and warmth lit up your soul.

“But here?”

Your question lingered in the air, as you met his heavy gaze and tried to hold it. You were too much of a coward, and your eyes fell to the floor.

“Well, it’s my birthday”, he pointed out.

It was. You had wished him a happy birthday first thing in the morning, and had hugged him for a moment. A friendly hug, though he had held on to you for a little longer than necessary. No one had paid any mind to it, but the moment had been replaying in your thoughts on a loop ever since this morning.

“Someone could hear us”, you breathed, right as his hand reached for your chin.

He tilted your head backwards, until your eyes had met his again. “You’d just have to be quiet.”

“Eunjin will realize if I’m not in bed with her.” You were defiant, just a little. Something you had realized worked well when Taehyung desired you.

He wet his lips, before leaning down. To your surprise, the kiss landed on your forehead, and your eyelids fluttered shut instinctively.

“You know there could be a typhoon outside and she’d sleep through it.” He straightened, and your eyes fluttered open.

He wasn’t wrong, but he was still crazy if he thought you’d do anything with him when both of your families were under the same roof.

“You’re out of your mind”, you mumbled, and his thumb pulled on your bottom lip. Your mouth fell open, and he leaned down once again, this time kissing you softly before pulling away.

“For you?” He paused, as if to give emphasis to his words. “Always.”

Your hand reached out in the space between you, fingers hooking with the loop of his pants to make sure he wouldn’t pull away. Because you didn’t want him to pull away just yet. Not when your heart filled with warmth and butterflies rose in your stomach.

“You can’t say stuff like that”, you complained.

It wasn’t your first time telling him that. Whenever Taehyung said some stuff that made your heart race, you tended to remind him that whatever you shared was just physical. He was merely teaching you about sex, and you couldn’t let feelings intervene.

You knew situations like the one you shared never ended well when feelings were implied.

“Sorry”, he apologized, though he looked the least bit apologetic. “I’ve just missed being with you.”

He was letting you interpret his words however you wanted. You could tell from the way he was looking down at you. So you interpreted them as a craving of his body, and not something his heart might want. Because you weren’t stupid: there wasn’t a universe out there where Kim Taehyung might want you for more than that. You were both driven by lust, and by a teenage crush that had just held stronger than you had first believed. There was no affection between the two of you, other than that of the affection one holds for a childhood friend.

“So have I”, you breathed, pulling him a little closer.

His crotch was at eye-level with your gaze, yet you refused to look down. You knew the position was most definitely driving him insane though, and it made you feel powerful.

He often did that. Make you feel powerful, that is. It was addicting, like everything that came with him. Taehyung was like a cigarette, and the nicotine addiction was burning you from the inside out.

He grabbed your hand, pulling you up to your feet. You didn’t resist, following his lead until he had wrapped your arms around his neck and had put his large hands on your waist. There seemed to be a moment of the world holding its breath, and then Taehyung leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.

You melted into his touch, kissing him back with all the want in you. All the passion and the burning and the intoxicating feelings he brought up in you. He met your fire with a swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip, and you parted your mouth open for him.

“Oppa, do you know where eoma keeps the gloves?” Eunjin yelled, probably from downstairs.

You jumped out of Taehyung’s arms, face burning red, insides the temperature of molten metal. He had a startled expression on his face, but his voice didn’t waver as he replied to his sister, before adding, “I’ll be out in a second”.

You listened to Eunjin move downstairs, heart beating wildly in your chest. It didn’t calm down until you heard the door open and close downstairs, and the house fell silent again.

“That was close”, Taehyung said, boxy grin on his lips.

He took a step towards you, and you stepped back. “Nu-uh, no more of this until tonight”, you warned him.

His grin turned into a smirk, and he looked at you with his smoldering gaze for a time. “I’ll be waiting for you then.”

You nodded, slowly, taking a deep breath to calm the wild beats of your heart. Your gaze moved to the box you had left discarded on the desk next to your laptop. “And also hide that somewhere. Eunjin will see it if I put it in her room.”

“Yes, ma’am”, Taehyung agreed. There was a teasing undertone to his voice, and you folded your arms on your chest, getting ready to scold him when he stepped closer so quickly you didn’t have time to move back. He pressed a kiss on the tip of your nose, before smiling at you with that blinding smile of his.

You stood, stunned, as he grabbed the box before walking out of the room, throwing a wink at you over his shoulder. And then he was gone, and you were left fighting your treacherous heart.

You reminded yourself that you couldn’t fall in love. You’d never be delusional enough to fall in love with him. But when he acted like that, it made it far too easy for your heart to fill with endearment. It was dangerous ground to tread.

You didn’t want to set yourself up for a broken heart.

 *****

                 The house was dark when you stepped outside Eunjin’s room, somewhere between midnight and one in the morning. Her snores had been keeping you awake, that was true, but it mostly was the perspective of meeting with Taehyung that had kept your eyes wide open, waiting until you were convinced Eunjin wouldn’t realize you were gone.

Taehyung had been teasing, all night. All smirks and winks when nobody was watching. He had caressed your thigh under the table during the meal, unbeknownst to everyone. Everyone but you, who had been forced to clench your teeth as you had tried to ignore the effect he had on you.

As if that was likely to ever happen. He was Kim Taehyung. You didn’t think there was a world out there where Kim Taehyung didn’t have an effect on the women surrounding him. Especially when he had been your childhood crush.

His room was down the hallway, and you had to pass in front of Jeongyu’s room to get there. Luckily enough, Jeongyu had lent his room to your parents for the weekend, and you knew your father’s loud breathing was going to cover the creaking of the hallway as you tiptoed towards Taehyung’s room. You could only hope your mother wouldn’t need to go to the bathroom while you were with Taehyung.

Yet… the possibility of getting caught… it made you feel hot, in some way. Because you were breaking rules. You, the perfect daughter that had never done anything she shouldn’t…

It was way past time to be imperfect.

You reached Taehyung’s room, heart beating wildly against your ribcage. You knocked, a gentle knock that probably hadn’t even sounded on his side of the door. Yet the door slowly opened, and Taehyung’s face appeared in the crack between the door and the wall. His eyes shone brightly, expectantly, and as soon as he focused on you, he opened the door for you to walk in.

Needless to say, he very carefully shut it behind you, as you took a few tentative steps in his room.

“You…” you breathed, a little louder than you had first intended.

“Shh”, he shushed you. He walked to you, gently grabbing your arm to make you turn towards him.

You obeyed, because you always obeyed whatever Taehyung told you to do, and you found yourself facing him. Well, tilting your head back to look up at him, as he stood closer to you than you had expected him to be.

Taehyung wasn’t a particularly tall man, but when he was next to you it felt as if he towered over you, with a dangerous look in his eyes that made you gulp.

“We don’t want someone to hear us”, he pointed out, before bending down to press a chaste kiss on your lips. When he straightened, his eyes had recovered their mischievous shine. “Do you know how pretty you were tonight?”

You blushed, wetting your lips. “I wanted to look good for you.”

“I figured.” He smirked, slowly nodding his head. He then grabbed your hand, looking around his room. “How do you like it?”

You liked it very much. Indeed, Taehyung had lit up candles all around his room, creating a romantic ambiance that made you want to be closer to him. To be entwined with him until you forgot where you ended and where he started. From the look on his face, you knew he wanted that too.

It was then that you realized he was highly likely to take your virginity tonight. Not that virginity was something that mattered, it really just was a social construct. But Taehyung was going to take it tonight, whatever it was, and heat immediately pooled at your core at the thought of it.

“It’s pretty”, you breathed, catching his gaze again.

The candles casted flickering lights on the side of his face, making his honey skin glow with warmth. You reached between you, brushing a stand of hair behind his ear. He carefully observed you as you did so, and you wondered if he could see your heart beating in your chest.

It really did feel like it was about to break free of your ribcage.

“It’s going to be prettier when you’re tied up on my bed.”

Taehyung’s words entirely stopped your heart in your chest. They killed you right on the spot, and maybe that was the reason why you found yourself grabbing the collar of his shirt, pulling him into your embrace.

Taehyung’s lips crashed against yours, and your whole soul caught fire. You let out a breathy sound, and he swallowed it hungrily as he grabbed your waist, pulling you flush against him. His body was solid, beautiful, against you like that, and you let your hands fall from his collar to his shoulders, before moving them to his chest. His heart was beating wildly under your fingertips, and you breathed out a moan again as one of his hands cupped your ass.

“Happy birthday to me”, he said, barely even pulling away to speak the words. No, his lips moved against yours in the shape of his words, and it made you chuckle shyly.

“Happy birthday”, you echoed, and the kiss turned sweeter. Slow, steady, like he had been kissing you that first time at your place.

Taehyung tentatively swiped his tongue at your bottom lip, tasting you, and you parted your lips to suck on his tongue. You could tell he liked it, and the sweetness of the kiss almost immediately returned to its previous fire, with Taehyung pushing you back towards the bed.

You sat on it, mostly because the back of your knees had hit the side, and you looked up at Taehyung, eyes round and innocent as he towered over you.

You couldn’t believe this man would be the one to fuck you for the first time.

“I want to tie you up”, he breathed, and his eyes shot to the headboard of the bed.

You followed his line of gaze, only noticing that he had already tied the silk ropes to it. All that was left to complete his fantasy was you, lying in his bed.

“But I need to undress you first, mmh?”

You were pretty sure blood had rushed to your cheeks again, but you didn’t have time to contemplate on it before he pulled his shirt over his head, and your gaze fell to the strong planes of his body. In this lighting, he looked sharper, as if he was made of glass. You could only hope he wouldn’t break under your fingers.

But then again, you were pretty sure you were the one likely to break when Kim Taehyung was looking at you like that. With pupils blown wide in his dark eyes, making them look like black pits in the middle of his face. His familiar lips kept the sight from being terrifying, but a tiny part of you knew you ought to be afraid.

You ignored it with all the lust in your heart.

Once his shirt was off, Taehyung started working on his belt, undoing it with skilled fingers as his gaze never left yours. You found it hard not to look away, but you knew Taehyung loved his eye contact. So you focused on him, even as his belt came undone. He dropped it to the ground, and the loop hitting the ground made a thumping sound that took you by surprise.

It was loud, in the silence of the night, and you could only hope no one had heard.

His pants were soon to follow, pooling around his ankles, and you couldn’t keep from looking down as the distinct motion of him stroking his dick caught in your peripheral vision.

Your eyes dipped down and his dick was free, half soft, yet he was pumping it slowly. Heat pooled at your core, and you moved closer to the edge of the bed.

Taehyung took a step towards you, and you didn’t even hesitate before going right in, licking at his head.

His eyes were shut when you looked up, and you took that as a cue to start working on him, just how he had shown you to. You wrapped your lips around the head, using your tongue to play with the sensitive spot at the back of the head, and you replaced his hand at the base of his dick with one of yours. That hand immediately started stroking him, with the perfect pressure, and you sucked on the head before starting to bob back and forth to the same rhythm, eyes looking up until Taehyung’s eyelids finally fluttered open to reveal his lustful gaze.

“Fuck”, he whispered, in that low baritone voice of his that made you go crazy inside.

You shut your eyes as he bucked his hips, hitting the back of your throat with his cock. It had turned harder in your mouth, and you gagged around it. Taehyung gently caressed one of your cheeks, willing your eyes to open until you met his gaze.

His gaze looked different, now. Still dark, but shining from within. Perhaps because of the candles, and of their soft glow on his honey skin. Or maybe it was the emotions in their depths. Emotions you couldn’t interpret, didn’t understand, but that made you pull away.

Sucking his dick while he was looking at you like that felt too weird.

“I should be the one going down on you”, he murmured. “Especially with all I have planned for you tonight.”

No sweetness coated his words. Just pure filth, and really it contrasted deeply with his soft eyes. Yet it made you gulp, and you slowly nodded your head, before standing up. Your hands instinctively rested on his chest, and his large ones found your waist. He pulled you in, going for a kiss that landed at the corner of your mouth. You barely felt its warm caress, especially not as his hands found their way under your shirt. He started drawing circles on your skin, gently, and he kissed the other corner of your mouth.

You breathed out, and he swallowed it as he pressed his lips against yours, moving them slowly. It was a steady rhythm you knew too well, one that had started feeling like home after the first few times you had hung out with Taehyung in the secrecy of your relationship.

He pulled away, offering you a small smile as he pulled your shirt over your head. You shivered without the fabric on your skin, nipples perked up in the space between you two. Taehyung glanced down at them, and his smile turned appreciative as he cupped your breast with one of his big hands while the other one worked to get you out of your shorts. Once they pooled around your ankles, you stepped out and closer to him, pressing your chest against his until he let your breast go to hold you flush against him.

He kissed you again then, wilder, with all the fire he had kissed you with earlier. It was hot, and you wondered if you would melt under his skilled digits. So hot he seared a mark on your lips each time his mouth moved against yours. You met him with the same fire, offered him that same passion, as you focused on the space between you. On where his dick was trapped between your bodies, standing proud and tall.

And very hard.

You moaned in his mouth, and Taehyung cupped your ass, before slapping it once. Still he didn’t pull away, and the breath in your lungs became scarce, yet you didn’t care. You would die kissing him if you had to.

There was no better way to go than kissing Kim Taehyung.

Unfortunately, he probably thought otherwise, because Taehyung pulled away, sucking in a sharp breath as your eyes fluttered open.

“On the bed, princess”, he said, gesturing behind you.

So it was time. You gulped, nodding, before climbing on the bed, nestling yourself in the pillows at the headboard. Taehyung kneeled in front of you, large hands grabbing your ankles. He caressed his way up your legs, up to your knees, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind his touch, before going back down to your ankles. He only then pulled on you so you were in a lying position.

The male chuckle he let out told you he had caught sight of the pooling wetness that had already soaked through your panties.

“You’re already so wet, aren’t you?” he said, baritone voice carrying to your ears in the silence of the night.

He had whispered the words, just for you to hear, yet they had sounded so loud. Loud and clear, and you instinctively brought your thighs together, looking for some friction.

“Don’t”, he warned you, before spreading your legs wide open. “I want to taste my birthday gift before I fuck it into oblivion.”

A shiver of pleasure ran up your spine.

“Please do.”

He smirked, tilting his head to the side. A predator eyeing its prey.

“Oh, I will. Should I tie you up first?”

He didn’t let you answer the question. Instead, he dove in, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the place where your juice was already soaking your panties. You would have moaned out loud had you been alone and not in his family home. Instead, you let out a breathy sound, something that resembled more of a whine.

Before he continued, Taehyung pulled your panties down your legs, observing you through half-lidded eyes. You held his gaze, giving in to his fantasies, but once his mouth found your pussy again, tongue dipping between your lips, your eyelids fluttered shut.

You bit down on your lip, hard, trying to hold in your sounds, as your hand flew in the space between you, finding a handful of his hair to hold onto. He let you do it as he made out with your pussy, his deep chuckle making your nerve endings light up.

Once he got tired of his tongue inside of you, Taehyung focused on your clit, flicking at it unforgivably, establishing a harsh rhythm that he soon accompanied with a long finger curling inside of you. It stretched your walls, but just a little. Nothing like his dick would.

The thought was enough to make you clench against him, and Taehyung hissed.

“Relax, princess, I want to be able to fuck you”, he said, before going back to your clit. This time, he moved slower, and your walls released him, enough so that he added a second finger. The combination of the two fingers spreading you wide open and the slow steady flicking on your clit had the corners of your vision turning blurry, until all you could focus on was his face between your legs.

He looked devilishly good down there.

“Tae…” you breathed out.

He glanced up at you, his lustful gaze burning into yours, and you felt an orgasm forming on the horizon of your conscience. It hit you head on when he pushed a third finger inside of you as he sucked right on your clit, teasing the bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue.

Your eyes shut as you came, and your thighs tightened around his face. He worked you through your high, slow and steady, before pulling out of you once he was sure he had milked the last of the orgasm out of you.

It took a moment for your gaze to find his again, and you almost wished it hadn’t. Because Taehyung was holding the small leather whip now, and he ran it up your side.

“Can I use this on you?” he asked as he traced the shape of your breast, before caressing your nipple with it.

You held in the moan, or maybe the curse that had taken shape on your lips.

“Not to hurt you”, he said, almost like a promise.

“I don’t think I can stay silent if you use that on me”, you admitted, cheeks burning with the afterglow of your orgasm.

He pouted, looking at the whip, before slowly nodding his head. “We’ll have to save it for when we’re back in Seoul.”

You wet your lips, nodding before sitting up in his bed as he threw the whip to the side. He must have dried his hands of your juice at some point, because when Taehyung cupped your cheeks to kiss you slowly, his fingers were dry. Dry and gentle, yet he held you firmly, running his thumbs on your skin.

You reached between you, aiming blindly for his dick, and Taehyung jumped as you found its velvety softness, wrapping your hand around the base before pumping him a couple of times. He pulled away then, chuckling.

“You’re such a good girl”, he praised.

You melted under the praise, gripping him tighter until his gaze had turned even darker. You only understood what that meant for you when he grabbed your hand, pulling it away from him.

Away from him and towards the silk rope on one side of the headboard.

“You…” you let out, as he started tying you up with skilled fingers.

“I don’t want you touching me”, he murmured. “This is all about what you feel.”

“I like touching you”, you complained, with a little whiny voice that had him offering you a soft smile.

“I’ll let you touch later.” He held your gaze, before kissing your lips softly once. “Unless you are uncomfortable with me tying you up.”

As much as being tied up for your first time felt weird, it also felt right. Right because Taehyung was home, and you trusted him.

You knew he would untie you the moment you looked uncomfortable.

“No, it’s okay”, you said, offering him consent. “Just don’t tie it too tight.”            

He smiled softly, pecking your lips another time. “I would never.”

He then guided you until you were lying down, before tying your other wrist on the other side of the headboard. The position was strange, but it didn’t hurt, and he had given you enough slack in the rope so you could pull on the restraints a little, keeping it from being painful for your shoulders.

Once that was done, Taehyung moved away until he was standing, and your eyes followed him carefully as he reached for condoms in his bedside table. He put a condom on, stroking his dick up and down a few times to make sure it was well in place, before moving back between your legs.

He was big. His large head stretched the condom thin, and you looked down at him as he positioned himself next to your entrance.

He caught your gaze, offering you another one of those sweet smiles of his. The ones that tugged his lips downwards a little, yet you knew they held happiness.

Or whatever happiness he could find in the act of having sex with you.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, holding your gaze.

You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you watched the shadows that danced on his features from the flickering light of the candles. He waited as you remained silent, patiently, hand still wrapped around the base of his dick.

Taehyung felt like home. Look like it too, familiar features that you had come to know growing up. He felt like innocence and nostalgia, in the right way. Even though the act you were about to do held nothing innocent.

“Yes.”

You had never been more sure of anything in your life.

Taehyung nodded slowly, and his gaze turned dark again. The sweetness was entirely gone from his face when he started pushing in, and you instinctively pulled against the restraints at the burn.

“Easy”, he whispered once the head was in. He let go of his dick, running soothing hands on your sides. “It will hurt a little at first.”

Your eyes fell shut as he kept pushing in, stretching you wider than his fingers ever had. It did hurt, a little, but mostly it felt strange. You focused on the strangeness, letting the pain go as he continued his way in, up until he reached your cervix.

That part hurt like a bitch, and you let out a small yelp of pain.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he pulled out.

“Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” he repeated, completely ignoring your apology.

You nodded slowly, but refused to meet his gaze.

“Look at me”, he murmured, and one of his large hands cupped your cheek.

Your eyes fluttered open instinctively. He was ethereal, kneeling between your legs, hair falling in his gaze. You tried to move the strand away, but the silk rope held you in place.

“Do you want me to untie you?” he asked.

“No”, you answered, with a small voice. “Can you go in again?”

He remained silent, but he obeyed, pushing his dick inside of you once more. You held his gaze until he bottomed out again, and the pain shot through your nerves. It was a little less this time, but still there nonetheless.

“I’m hurting you”, he stated.

You shook your head. “It’s just…” you trailed off, swallowing audibly. “It hurts when you are all the way in.”

He pulled out a little, and the sensation dissipated to nothing.

“Better?”

You nodded.

“Words”, he reminded you.

It made you smile. “Yes Tae, it’s better.”

He smiled too, before bending down. It made his dick move inside of you, but your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed you sweetly, before slowly pulling almost all the way out.

“Then I won’t go too deep for now”, he murmured against your lips. You nodded against him, before kissing him again.

It was a slow kiss, timed with the back and forth of his hips. The sensation still felt strange, not as good as what his fingers made you feel like, but it was a good kind of strange.

The kind that made your heart beat steadier in your chest as he kept on kissing you, swallowing every breathy sound you made.

It took a moment, but the sensation slowly changed, inching towards pleasure as he moved a little faster, shifting a little until he hit a different spot inside of you. It didn’t hurt, not even a little bit, but you could feel how big he was, how much he was stretching you.

You really had chosen a big dick for your first time, hadn’t you?

Taehyung moved from your lips to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on the skin. You moaned softly, quietly, and he picked up the pace a little. You could feel his balls slapping your ass each time he went almost all the way in, but you were pretty sure there were still a few inches of his dick out of you.

You doubted he’d ever be able to fuck you with the entirety of it. But as you slowly eased into the sensation, you pulled on the silk ropes, fingers aching to be touching him.

“Easy, princess”, he breathed on the spot under your ear. His low voice sent shivers down your spine and straight to your core, and you wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer.

He reached deep inside of you. Yet this time it didn’t hurt, and you even let out a small moan that had him look up from your neck.

“Quiet”, he reminded you, before pressing a kiss on your lips. “Quiet or I’ll have to stop.”

“No.”

Your quick reply had him smirking, and he straightened until he was back to a kneeling position between your legs. His dick was still deep inside of you, where he had stilled a moment ago, and you wondered if this was still Taehyung.

If he was still the man you knew and had had a crush on. Because the next moment everything lost coherency, and the only reason why you couldn’t moan out loud was that he had pressed a hand on your mouth, holding one of your thighs with the other.

He fucked into you. Relentlessly. Pushing you to your limits, trying different angles that had you seeing stars. He was panting over you, sweat glittering on his brow with the light of the candles. But he never slowed down, keeping that same unforgiving pace that turned everything inside of you to liquid lava.

“Such a good little princess”, he breathed, and there was an edge to his voice. Maybe because he too was keeping his grunts and moans in, or maybe because he was on the verge of coming.

You couldn’t tell, and your brain had completely lost the ability to think a couple of moments ago.

“So tight”, he praised as he slowed the rhythm, and you met his gaze. “So fucking tight.”

He pushed inside of you harder, and a pained expression moved on your features. He immediately stopped, before bending down again.

“Let me untie you.”

You hadn’t realized that you were pulling on the restraints so hard, but as soon as your wrists were freed you wrapped your arms around Taehyung’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. He fucked into you again then, quick and hard and he swallowed the moans that escaped the confines of your mouth.

Your hands roamed his body, getting lost in his hair and caressing the skin of his back, until you were pretty sure you could mold his shape into mud. Until you were pretty sure you knew every little aspect of him, as his lips kept moving against yours. His tongue met yours, and he kissed you wildly, letting out a grunt that had your walls clenching against him.

“Fuck fuck fuck”, he cursed in your mouth.

You let out another breathy moan, and he pulled back to look at your face. He was so close you could count the moles on his features, and you reached to trace them, gently, as his rhythm slowed down.

“Everything okay?” you asked him, almost pensively, as he moved way too slow for pleasure to steal your thoughts again.

“You feel like heaven, princess”, he praised, and he landed a kiss on the top of your nose. “But I’m not sure I want to come yet.”

You bit your lip, before pulling him closer again. Not enough for your lips to touch, but enough for your eyelids to fall shut from the proximity. “Please come for me, Tae.”

“Fuck.” His curse held no bite as he nodded. You watched his blown pupils as he started moving faster again, until his balls were slapping your ass once more. It was a little loud, but you didn’t want to stop Taehyung from chasing his high, so you kept silent, holding your moans in as he dug his face in your neck, sucking a mark on your shoulder to keep his own moan in.

It hurt. Just a little. The kind of pain that made your nails dig in his back. Just a little. But that was enough to send Taehyung over the edge, and he cursed as he emptied inside the condom, stilling his movements deep inside of you. You could feel his dick twitching as he unloaded, and you held him close as he bit into the spot he had been sucking on.

Halfway through the ordeal, Taehyung moved his head from your neck. You barely had time to look at his glossy lips before he had them pressed against yours, and he kissed you through the remainder of his orgasm. Fast and wild and wet, with his tongue chasing yours in your mouth.

Once he was done, Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, and you breathed the same air until your heartbeats had gone steady in your chests again. Only then did Taehyung pull away, and his dick pulled free from your pussy, leaving you empty.

It really did feel empty after he had been stretching you like that.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he rolled next to you, turning his face to look at you.

It took a moment for you to meet his gaze, and you just watched him carefully as he awaited your reply ever so patiently.

“Good”, you whispered.

He smiled, that same sweet smile that had stolen your heart when you were just a teenager. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

He looked away, eyes trailing to the ceiling. You watched the flickering lights of the candles on his profile for a time, before looking up at the ceiling too.

“For being here with me for my birthday”, he said. “But also for trusting me with your first time.”

You wet your lips, shrugging your shoulders. “I think some part of me always imagined that it would be you.”

You wanted to curse yourself the moment the words had left your lips.

“What?”

His eyes had moved back to you now, but you refused to meet his gaze. “I had a crush on you when we were younger.”

“Oh.” He remained silent for a time, and you wondered if he could hear every painful beat of your heart. “That’s cute.”

You blushed even though your cheeks were already flushed from the sex. “Cute?”

“Mmh”, he hummed in agreement. “You’re cute.”

You looked at him then, meeting his dark eyes. They were crinkling at the corners, as the corners of his lips tugged upwards on his handsome features.

“Am I?”

He nodded slowly. “Especially when I’m fucking you.”

A teasing glint had taken form in his gaze, and you rolled your eyes. “I should have expected you’d be an ass about it.”

“Hey”, he let out, and he rested a hand palm first on your stomach. “I’d never be an ass when it comes to you.”

Could he tell he had stopped your heart in your chest with that simple sentence?

“Never?”

He seemed to ponder for a time. “Not purposefully, no.”

It made you wary, and you furrowed your brows. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“That I don’t want to be an ass when it comes to you.”

You didn’t want to feel like you felt then. As if the crush had never left and was slowly blossoming into more. But he made it so damn hard.

“As much as I like hearing you say that, I should probably head back to Eunjin’s room”, you murmured, before cowering away from his gaze as disappointment filled it.

You were fleeing. You knew you were, but you didn’t have another option.

Kim Taehyung was far too dangerous for your own good.

 *****

               Days came and went, faster than you had ever imagined they could. Being held by Kim Taehyung felt like that: as if you were a fast car racing for the end of the street.

You could only hope the end of the street wasn’t made of a stonewall.

The rest of the Holidays had been lovely, with your family and his. You had then gone back home to Seoul, and your secret meetings with Taehyung resumed in their usual scene: him in your apartment, and occasionally you in his. You liked going to his place, and it was needless to say why: his dog was one of the cutest you had seen in your life. It was also reassuring, in some way, to know that Taehyung didn’t mind you being in his place. Even if what you shared was still but an illicit affair, being held by him in his bed while the alarm clock on his bedside table read the hour of early mornings felt just right.

You didn’t have a chance to meet up often. It made you wary, sad, and sometimes you thought yourself to be delusional. Because you wanted to see him more, wanted to share his days the way you shared his nights. The Holidays had given you a glimpse of that. A week, outside of time, where you had known you’d get to see him every day. Where he had brushed his fingers against yours when no one else looked, as if he just couldn’t resist closing the distance between you.

Months passed, and you wondered if there would be a day where you wouldn’t need to wait. Sometimes, you considered ending things with Taehyung, just because he was silent for a while. But whenever he held you again, you knew you couldn’t stop. Drugs were addictive, and Kim Taehyung was the most addictive drug this world held.

The devil through and through. Because he was sweet, giving in to your fantasies. Cuddling you when you didn’t feel like having sex, teasing you about shared memories or kissing your shoulder while you cooked food for him. Occasional meetings, yes, but all of them held feelings you had never thought you’d feel.

The months of winter passed, with icy winds carrying snowdrifts and staying in as cold reigned over the world. You worked a lot during those months, and maybe that most of all was the reason why you never found the courage to speak to Taehyung. Because even though you were growing wary, seeing him felt like a day of summer in the middle of winter, and you needed it. It wasn’t like he treated you badly. Taehyung was sweet, with everything he did. You just couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing when you weren’t together.

You knew some stuff from his public persona, but Taehyung was far more than what met the eyes of outsiders. His mind was complex, a maze you hadn’t been able to figure out. You didn’t know if you were to figure it out someday, and some part of you wondered if it would have been different, had he not become an idol. Had he stayed in Daegu, next to you. It was treacherous thoughts, so you pushed them away whenever they came.

Surprisingly enough, Eunjin didn’t notice the change in you. Or maybe she had chosen not to, and she never questioned you whenever you fell silent, or gazed in the distance longingly. It was the strangest thing to be hiding something so big from your best friend, but it had become second nature a while ago.

The month of April was pretty, in Seoul. With flowers blossoming on every street corner, and warm winds erasing the chills winter had left behind. They also eased the thoughts that held a dark corner of your heart, whenever it came to Taehyung. Shed light to the darkness, especially when Taehyung invited you over some early afternoon. It was unusual, as you always met later in the evening, but he had called you on one of your rare days off. You weren���t going to miss the opportunity.

You got ready quickly, dressing up in a black skirt that you paired with a dark cardigan over a white polo shirt. It looked preppy, a style you had realized Taehyung enjoyed. Though his clothing usually was far more expensive than yours, it still felt great whenever he complimented you for how you dressed.

Taehyung’s compliments hit differently than those of the other men around you. Not that there were a lot of men. Except for the males in your family and Jeongyu, you didn’t really talk to any men other than Taehyung.

You didn’t want that to change.

You made your way to Taehyung’s place slowly, enjoying the warm breeze the day held. The sun shone brightly, with only a few lazy white clouds streaming overhead. Birds sang their chirpy songs, accompanying the music you were bobbing your head to from the lone earbud in your left ear. You bowed at the sweet old street vendor that offered you tteokbokki, reminding you of that night Taehyung had come to pick you up. The first night something had happened between the two of you, when a whole new world had opened up to you. It plastered a smile on your lips, and you arrived at Taehyung’s place in a cheery mood.

It only swelled even more when he opened his door to you, with a matching bright smile on his own lips. He spoke your name softly, grabbing your hand and pulling you in.

You giggled as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “Hi”, you greeted him, hugging him back as the fragrance of his detergent hit your nose.

It smelled just like him, and you shut your eyes as you rested your head against his shoulder.

“I’m happy you could come over”, he murmured. He pulled away from the hug, just enough to press a kiss on the top of your head. “Yeontan missed you.”

Another light giggle fell from your lips. “Yeontan?” you questioned, even if you could hear the dog barking from the other room.

“Mmh.” Taehyung nodded, and he kissed the top of your head again. “I missed you too.”

“That’s more like it.” You said it teasingly, and Taehyung chuckled over you.

“Where did you get tteokbokki?”

You had all but forgotten the little plastic bag that hung from your hand, and you pulled away from the hug to give it to Taehyung.

 “Some sweet lady offered it to me while I was on my way.”

 A mischievous smile spread on his lips, one you echoed as you took off your shoes to follow him in.

Yeontan was on the couch when you walked in the living room, barking happily from the cushion he was sitting on. You made your way to the little dog, picking him up to hug him against your chest as Taehyung kept moving in, towards the kitchen area. You followed him as the dog tried licking your chin, which made you laugh giddily.

If the look Taehyung offered you over his shoulder wasn’t endearing, you didn’t know what endearment was. It filled your heart with warmth, and blush crept on your cheeks.

Taehyung put the tteokbokki down on his table, before moving to grab chopsticks for the both of you. You sat on a chair, putting Yeontan down on your thighs as you watched Taehyung walk back to your side. He sat on the chair next to you, leaving the chopsticks next to the plastic bag before bending down to press a kiss on Yeontan’s head.

He pressed a kiss on your cheek next, before moving to grab the tteokbokki from the bag. It smelled delicious as he pulled the lid off, and he smiled at you as he offered you a short glance.

“Enjoying the day off?” he asked, and a second later he was digging in the tteokbokki.

You followed his lead, and the sweet and spicy flavor filled your mouth as you chewed on the rice cake. Taehyung seemed to regret his decision, fanning his mouth as a disgusted scowl formed on his features.

“Why is it so spicy?” he asked after he swallowed.

You let out a small laugh. “It’s always spicy”, you reminded him.

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, and you gently shoved him in the shoulder.

“Actually”, he said after a short moment of silence. “I have something I wanted to ask you.”

“What’s up?” you asked, without thinking more of it.

You were in a good mood after all. But when Taehyung didn’t reply right away, only watching you carefully, you turned your head towards him, putting the chopsticks down on the bowl.

“Is something wrong?” you asked, voice smaller all of a sudden.

“If I asked you to pretend to be my girlfriend for a dinner, would you say yes?”

You sucked in a breath, eyes going a little wide. Your heart skipped a beat, and you found you couldn’t hold his gaze.

“What?”

You could see him worry at his bottom lip as he thought, probably searching for the right words to say to convince you. “The members have been on my back about being single for a while”, he said carefully. “I just want them to stop.”

You could understand where he was coming from. People, mostly your family, often annoyed you about being single, about not having someone in your life. It got on your nerves sometimes, but ever since you had started seeing Taehyung, you had found that you didn’t mind all that much when they asked you questions. You only had to let your thoughts diverge towards the arms of the man sitting next to you and the annoyance disappeared.

But the word ‘pretend’ in his mouth sounded bitter. Sour, as if it had gone bad before leaving the confines of his beautiful mouth. Or maybe it was just the wariness that had been lurking at the back of your mind that suddenly grew stronger.

Taehyung was looking at you. With a small pout on his lips, an expectant look in his eyes. His cheeks were a little puffed up, and for a moment you wanted to reach out and pinch them. You resisted though, keeping one hand on the table and the other on Yeontan’s back. To calm the itch in your fingers, you scratched the dog, and your eyes moved away from Taehyung.

“For a dinner?” you asked.

Taehyung must have thought that meant yes, because a boxy smile made its way to his lips, making his whole face shine just like the world outside was shining. “Tonight, yeah. Jimin invited all of us over.”

“Tonight?” you repeated, eyes going round once again. “Tae, that gives me no time to get ready!”

He wet his lips, before glancing at you. “You look gorgeous, princess.”    

You couldn’t say no. You couldn’t say no to his sweet face and his sweet words. You were pretty sure he could get you to crawl in mud if he wanted to.

“Tae…” you trailed off, and a small pout formed on your lips.

He echoed it with one of his own, and he murmured your name with a low voice that sent a shiver down your spine. It reminded you of the way he whispered it against your skin whenever you were entwined, and really, you couldn’t say no at all.

“What do I get in exchange?” you asked, looking down at Yeontan as you pet him.

“I’ll let you go on a shopping spree with my card?”

The suggestion made a small laugh bubble in your chest. “Tae, I can pay for my clothes myself.”

You glanced at him, but his eyes were looking at the tteokbokki as he furrowed his brows, lost in thoughts. “I can buy you food?”

You rolled your eyes. “Why do you think I want a gift?”

“What else could I give you?”

Your heart felt strange in your chest again. You. For real. You wanted to say it, but something kept you from doing so. All you could do was shrug as you looked away. Until Yeontan moved under the palm of your hand.

“You could let me have Yeontan.”

Taehyung gasped. “My dog? Never.”

“Then don’t make me pretend to be your girlfriend.”

“Please?”

You rolled your eyes again, before offering him a small smile. “I’ll just steal Yeontan without you realizing. But I’ll go with you.”

He smiled brightly. “I’ll ignore the threat, but I won’t forget it.”

He planted a kiss on your cheek, before grabbing more tteokbokki. You followed his lead, watching his profile carefully. Until an idea popped up in your mind.

“You know what we should do?”

He cocked an eyebrow as he looked at you, chewing the tteokbokki as quickly as he could to swallow before it burned his mouth too much.

“What?”

A wicked smile grew on your lips. “We should get matching outfits.”

His eyes widened, lighting up with agreement. “Oh, they definitely would believe us then.”

You ignored the ache that formed in your heart at his words as you nodded your head.

“You’re a genius”, he complimented you.

Your wicked smile melted softly. “Doing my best.”

And as Taehyung offered you one of his iconic grins, you realized that you cared about him far more than you even thought possible. Because his happiness made you happy.

Dangerous grounds to tread for sure.

 *****

               Turned out Taehyung had everything in his wardrobe to match his outfit with yours after all. His pants matched your skirt perfectly, and his no-sleeves wool cardigan was similar enough to yours to give the right vibe. He also had a white polo-shirt, one that almost looked like a golf polo, that worked perfectly to complete his outfit. A black belt hugged his pants to his hips, and the smile on his lips matched yours just right.

The perfect picture of a happy couple.

The elevator leading to Jimin’s apartment felt crowded, with just you and Taehyung standing there. Your eyes had diverged to a stain on the carpet, and Taehyung watched your profile for a time as the elevator shot upwards.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

You chuckled breathlessly. “I’m anxious. I don’t know your friends. And what if Eunjin learns that I was here?”

“She won’t”, Taehyung reassured you. “She barely talks to the members. They’ll never connect the dots.”

You knew he was right. Because there was no way in hell Taehyung would have asked you if he had thought it might reach Eunjin’s ears. Still, your previous wariness hadn’t let go of you, and you were pretty sure you were about to step in the biggest mess you had ever stepped in.

“Plus”, Taehyung added, and he turned to face you and grab your hands. “They’ll love you, I’m sure of it.”

“It doesn’t really matter if they love me or not”, you pointed out. “I’m probably never going to see them again.”

Taehyung remained silent, though he tried to catch your gaze as you stubbornly kept it on the floor. Once he understood you weren’t going to look up, he grabbed your chin to force you to meet his gaze.

“Let’s not think about that right now, mmh?” he murmured as soon as your eyes locked together. “We have to put on a good show.”

You gulped, glancing down at the lips you had kissed far more often than you should have. They looked just as soft as ever, and they glistened a little from when he had wet them just a few seconds ago.

“I’m not an actress like you…”

“Just follow my lead”, he encouraged. “You’ll do great, princess, I’m not worried.”

And as the elevator dinged and the doors started sliding open, Taehyung leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips. It felt strange to be kissed by him somewhere else other than in your apartments, but your eyes immediately fell shut, and you let out a small sigh.

“Why am I not surprised?” a voice said from outside of the elevator.

You startled out of Taehyung’s arms, blush creeping on your cheeks. Kim Seokjin was standing outside the elevator, arm outstretched to keep the doors from closing shut.

“Hyung!” Taehyung let out happily. He introduced you, before pointing at the older man, eyes on you. “This is Kim Seokjin.”

“World-wide handsome”, Seokjin said as a way to introduce himself, a small smirk on his plump lips. “We almost thought you didn’t exist.”

You pursed your lips to keep in the nervous laugh that had almost fallen from your mouth. Because you actually didn’t exist, but they couldn’t know, right? “Nice to meet you.”

Seokjin chuckled. “Sorry, that was rude. Nice to meet you too, Y/n.”

An alarm started blaring in the elevator, startling you.

“I was on my way down to get some stuff Jimin forgot at the grocery store”, Seokjin said as he got in.

“We’ll come with”, Taehyung said, but it was useless, since the doors had already slid shut.

You were encased in silence, and your gaze slid to Taehyung. Seokjin stood between the two of you, with his face angled towards the floor. He looked sad, for a moment there, but when Taehyung asked him what he was supposed to get, the shadows lifted and his features lit up as he answered.

They talked for a time, and you tried to disappear through the carpet, not wanting to attract Seokjin’s attention. It was a failure because he glanced at you, offering you the whole of his focus. “How did you meet Taehyung?”

You really hadn’t planned this thing right, had you? Because you had no idea what to say. Taehyung looked at you, waiting for the lie you would craft, but nothing came to mind.

“Uh…” you let out, as your cheeks burned red. “We…” you paused, looking at Taehyung for salvation. He offered none, and you finally decided to settle on something that was as close to the truth as you dared to get. “We grew up together.”

“You’re from Daegu?” Seokjin asked, a soft smile on his lips.

You nodded. “My parents lived near Taehyung’s parents’ farm.”

Seokjin nodded, before starting to talk about his farmer uncle. You didn’t really have a chance to plug in a word, and Taehyung made sure to keep Seokjin going. Probably because that way he was off your back. And it worked, the grocery store trip being filled with stories Seokjin recalled about the farm, and eventually he moved on to stories about Taehyung in their trainee days.

Seokjin was funny. With an easy smile and an easier laugh that you found hard not to share. He was nice with you, and as you were riding the elevator back up to Jimin’s place, you found yourself more at ease. Still, you didn’t really know how to act around Taehyung, but you were pretty sure it didn’t really matter.

Some couples didn’t do a lot of public displays of affection, but that didn’t mean they weren’t dating, right?

Walking in Jimin’s apartment put you back to square one, as you saw most of the other members sprawled on the couches. Three girls were sitting with the members, and you could hear two women’s voices coming from what you could only assume was the kitchen, along with the unmistakable voice of Jeon Jungkook.

Most of all, every pair of eyes had turned to you, and you were pretty sure none of them were looking at Taehyung or Seokjin. No, it really felt as if you were the center of attention, and you hated it.

Until Taehyung stood closer to you, his large hand gently taking a hold of yours. He reassuringly brushed the back of your hand with his thumb, and you glanced at him. He had a soft smile on his lips when your gazes locked, but he quickly moved his attention to the group.

“Hey”, he simply said, and conversations immediately resumed, as if silence hadn’t been reigning a moment ago.

Hoseok, Namjoon and Jimin moved to you, hugging you as Taehyung did the introductions. Yoongi waved at you from his spot on the couch, and you waved back, eyes trailing to the girl at his side. She waved you over, and Taehyung tightened his hold on your hand before letting you go.

With cheeks burning, you moved towards the girl. She moved closer to Yoongi, as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder so she could cuddle into his side. You sat in the spot she had left for you, next to another girl that offered you a bright smile as you glanced at her.

“I know this might be overwhelming”, she said secretively. “When Namjoon got me to meet all of them, I almost thought I was going to die from the anxiety.”

You could understand.

“But you fit right in!” Yoongi’s girlfriend happily said. “And I’m sure…” she trailed off and you figured out she was waiting for your name. You offered it to her with a shy voice. She repeated it, before continuing, “I’m sure you’ll fit right in too.”

You could only hope they didn’t notice your discomfort because you were caught in a lie. “Thank you”, you breathed, meeting Taehyung’s gaze from across the room.

At the looks Jimin and Hoseok threw at you, you could only assume they were talking about you. Taehyung offered you a reassuring nod of his head, along with a small smile he reserved just for you. Then Namjoon said something, and Taehyung looked away, forcing you to go back to the conversation around you.

The girls offered an easy conversation, one Yoongi participated in with ease. That most of all brought you back to the ease Seokjin had raised in you, and you even found yourself enjoying their company. Hoseok’s girlfriend was just as nice, though she didn’t stay long, claiming she had to help Jimin’s girlfriend, Jungkook and his own girlfriend in the kitchen. Seokjin followed her, which left you with the rest of them.

Soon enough, Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok and Namjoon moved back with you, and conversation flowed easily in the group. Surprisingly enough, no one really asked you any questions about you and Taehyung. They all just joked around, and shots of soju were passed around the group.

Min Yoongi surprised you the most out of all of the members. For some reason, you had expected him to be shy and cold, but he was all smiles and excited, participating in the conversation with everyone, even leading it sometimes. He was cute, and his girlfriend looked at him with soft eyes that made you jealous, in some way.

Because even though you were looking at Taehyung like that, it was an act. It couldn’t be more than pretending. Indeed, he really had just asked for it to be for one dinner. Nothing more.

You could hope, though. Because he acted around you with ease. Holding you close, kissing the top of your head or holding your hand whenever he could. When he pulled you up to your feet as you were moving to the dining room, he even kissed you in front of everyone, holding you by the waist with his large hands. When he pulled away, you found yourself unable to hold his gaze, instead busying yourself with pulling invisible lint off his cardigan.

It didn’t go unnoticed to him. The way you avoided his gaze. You knew because his hands tightened on your waist, as if he could bring you back to your senses. But your heart was aching in your chest, as it had been throughout the day, whenever you remembered that it was all fake.

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice low just for you to hear.

The living room had emptied a moment ago, and you felt comfortable to speak up. “I can’t do this, Tae…”

He pursed his lips. “You’ve been doing great.”

“But I hate lying.” You looked up once, before quickly shying away from his gaze again. “They all look so happy for you.”

“Which means it’s working”, he pointed out.

A question took shape in your mind, and you shut your eyes tightly trying to avoid saying it.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and he sounded a little exasperated.

“Why do you want this to be fake?” you enquired, and courage made its way to you, enough so that you met his gaze with a harsh look on your face. “I’ve been thinking about it all day and I don’t understand why you want to pretend.”

You wondered if he would answer truthfully. If he would finally let you see some part of the mystery that clouded him. Instead, he scoffed, looking over his shoulder.

“We can talk about it later.”

“Don’t dismiss me like that”, you said through gritted teeth.

“Y/n, Taehyung-oppa!” a female voice said from the hallway.

You tried to loosen the expression on your features as Jungkook’s girlfriend came into view. You didn’t know if you succeeded, but Taehyung’s cheerful tone as he told her you were on your way worked well enough, and the tattoo artist turned back on her heels.

“Now, let’s just pretend for a little longer and then we can talk”, Taehyung said to you, letting go of your waist.

“Please stop being so…” you trailed off, motioning between the two of you.

“So what?”

You met his gaze, letting out a long sigh. “Stop acting as if you’re in love.” And really, he wasn’t even acting all that different from what he usually acted like with you. It was pretty much the same, and that most of all was killing you. Because then it meant that the way he had carried himself in all those secret meetings meant nothing, even though you had been telling yourself the opposite for so long.

“How else can they believe me?”

“I don’t know, Tae, but I really don’t like it.”

He scoffed. “You’ve been a blushing and smiling mess, don’t tell me you don’t like it.”

“That’s exactly my point, Tae.”

You didn’t wait for him to say something else, instead moving around him to make your way to the dining room. You didn’t want to lose your cool, and you knew damn well a moment longer in that living room would have led to you bashing Taehyung’s perfect teeth in.

He was oblivious. Or you were just a game for him to play.

A game he had become a master at.

*****

                 Later that evening, you found yourself lingering at Jimin’s place, along with Jungkook and his girlfriend. Seokjin had left first – it was easy to know why. He was the only one that was unaccompanied, and that same sad look you had seen on his features in the elevator had come back frequently, as the evening had unfolded.

Whoever Kim Seokjin was longing for, they had broken his heart to pieces.

Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi and their partners had all left since they had early plans the next morning. Unfortunately for you, you were off from work tomorrow too, and didn’t have any excuse to give everyone as to why you needed to leave. So you stayed, even if the atmosphere between you and Taehyung had turned cold after your conversation in the living room.

He had continued his act after, even though you had asked him not to. You were aware you probably looked like an angry girlfriend, so you had tried to relax. Had let him do what he thought he had to, but focused on the conversation with the other girls. Mostly Jungkook’s partner, as she had been the one sitting next to you.

The tattoo artist had bright eyes. They shone brighter whenever Jungkook was close to her, and sometimes you thought you saw stars in her eyes. Mostly, the celestial bodies were visible when she was gazing at the man she loved, and he echoed them with galaxies in his own gaze.

Another reminder to you that for all the feelings you had for Taehyung, you would never be allowed to look at him that same way. Because you were aware that the hurt and the anger were coming from feelings. Affection you had been trying to push back to the very back of your mind, but that had refused to be forgotten all throughout the day. It was easy to ignore it when it was just you and Taehyung but pretending around other people was wrong.

And a mistake through and through.

You were glad when Taehyung let you out of his sight, after most of everyone had left. Jimin’s girlfriend had to go back home to call her mother on Facetime, and the boys were currently in the living room, joking around as long-time friends usually did. That left you alone in the kitchen with Jungkook’s girlfriend, and she sat on one of the high stools at the island as you washed the dishes.

Taehyung had done most of it earlier, but the dessert dish had been forgotten on the stove, so you decided to busy yourself by taking care of it. Mostly because Jungkook’s girlfriend had been looking at you curiously, as if she knew the secrets you had been keeping.

“Something happened between you and Taehyung-oppa?” she asked.

You startled, glancing at her before shrugging your shoulders. “Happens sometimes, doesn’t it?”

She pursed your lips, before slowly nodding. “Yeah.”

An awkward silence moved between you, as you focused back on the dish.

“I…” she started, but she never finished the sentence.

You looked at her again, this time catching her gaze.

“We didn’t really fight”, you admitted.

The truth had come out so easily your eyes widened.

“I know.” She did. You could tell by the way a careful look moved on her features. “Taehyung told Jungkook.”

You sighed, gaze dropping to the floor. You grabbed a towel to dry your hands, before leaning against the counter, folding your arms on your chest. “What did he say?”

“That he was tired of being laughed at.” The girl looked away from you, as if she felt bad to be the one telling you. “He and Sanghee had a really complicated story, and the boys have been trying to get him to move on from her.”

You had no idea who Sanghee was. Some part of you thought to ask Eunjin, but you knew that wasn’t even a possibility. The only person you could ask was Taehyung, and you weren’t convinced you even wanted to speak to him right now.

“By laughing at him?” you asked.

Jungkook’s girlfriend chuckled. “Not really, no. Mostly, they kept telling him to put himself out there. To go out with the girls that ask him out and stuff like that. He kept refusing saying he didn’t need it, then said he was dating someone earlier today. Then he brought you here.”

You didn’t really know if Taehyung had told Jungkook you weren’t really dating. So you chose to remain silent, as Jungkook’s girlfriend looked down at her glass on the island in front of her.

“I think I’m only telling you because Jungkook and I had a similar situation”, she continued. She then seemed to think better of it, meeting your gaze. “Well, it wasn’t all that similar. But Jungkook’s ex almost came between the two of us…” She shrugged, pursing her lips. “But I think you should tell Taehyung how you feel.”

“We’re dating”, you lied.

Jungkook’s girlfriend cocked an eyebrow prettily, letting out a small laugh. “You are not.”

You almost wanted to be angry at her for pointing it out, but she offered you a kind smile that only made tears prick at your eyes. You turned away from her, resuming your work on cleaning the dishes.

“But you could be if you actually talked to him”, she added. “I have a hard time believing that everything he’s done today is an act.”

You found it hard to believe too, yet you knew it was the truth. Because you could feel that Taehyung had changed after your fight in the living room. Even if he still was clingy, he was cold.              

Kim Taehyung had never been cold to you before. No, ever since that night you had told him what you had, under the star-filled blanket of the night sky, Taehyung had always been warm when it came to you.

You were pretty sure it was coming to an end now.

“Taehyung is an enigma”, you pointed out. “He’s been that way since we were kids.”

Nothing interrupted the silence in the kitchen for a moment, except the sound of the water sloshing as you washed the dish through tears in your eyes. Jungkook’s girlfriend remained silent, so much so you almost thought she had left. But she seemed like the kind of girl that would stick up for someone else, and you were pretty sure she wouldn’t leave you alone right now.

It seemed you had judged her character well, because a second later she appeared at the corner of your vision. You glanced at her, and she offered you a gentle smile. “Jimin said he was going to take care of washing that.” She put a hand on your wrist, until you had let go and she could dry your hands with the hand towel. “Just talk to him”, she said gently. “It’s surprising what a good conversation can do.”

You raised your eyebrows, slightly shaking your head. “I think I dug the grave a while ago.”

“Why do you think that?” she asked as she put the towel back on the oven’s handle before looking at you again.

“He’s my best friend’s older brother”, you admitted. “I’ve known him forever.”

Jungkook’s girlfriend nodded, but didn’t say anything, letting you choose the rhythm at which you wanted to confide in her.

“Eunjin had a party in October, and it was my first time seeing Taehyung in years.” Images of the night came back to you: the beer pong, Taehyung holding your hand, the stars outside. How you had woken up in his bed the next day. “A few weeks later, he came to pick me up after I drank a little, we kissed and then we started…” you trailed off, as your cheeks burned red. “He’s my first. I don’t know why I chose him. Maybe because I used to have a crush on him, but…” You ran a shaky hand through your hair. “But he asked me to hide the whole thing from everyone. I did because I thought what we had was enough. But when he asked me to pretend to be his girlfriend tonight, it just felt wrong. It’s been feeling wrong.”

You finally fell silent, and Jungkook’s girlfriend waited a few seconds to make sure you were done before speaking, “This has been going on since October?”

“Well, more since November”, you said, nodding your head. “Why?”

She didn’t have time to speak before Taehyung appeared in the hallway leading to the living room.

“Hey”, he said, leaning against the wall.

Jungkook’s girlfriend kept her eyes on you, as if trying to tell you something. You couldn’t read the words behind her gaze though, and you eventually had to turn towards Taehyung.

“Hey”, you let out.

Jungkook’s girlfriend was pulling at some dry skin on her lower lip when she looked at Taehyung too. “Oppa.”

“Everything okay?” he asked, eyes focused on you.

It felt as if he was dismissing Jungkook’s girlfriend, and something about the way she stiffened next to you made you wonder what she had been about to tell you. What revelation her next sentence would have held had she had the time to tell you.

Instead, she only gently patted your shoulder, before walking away.

“Don’t hurt her”, she told Taehyung, one fist on her hip and a finger pointed at him aggressively.

Taehyung widened his gaze, but she was gone before he had time to reply.

“What’s wrong with her?” Taehyung asked as she disappeared. He pushed himself up from the wall, before taking a few steps towards you.

You shrugged. “I like her.”

“I usually like her, but she was weird tonight.”

Was she the only one that had been weird? Everything about the evening felt weird and wrong to you.

“Mmh”, you let out, turning away from Taehyung as he stopped next to you.

He murmured your name, hand shooting in the space between you… but he never touched you, letting his arm fall back at his side. “Do you want to go home?”

You nodded, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah, I think it would be better.” You sighed, folding your arms on your chest again.

Taehyung leaned on the counter next to you, hands disappearing in his pockets. He watched you carefully, with that deep gaze of his. You couldn’t resist glancing at him, and your heart stopped in your chest at the look on his features.

He had no business looking at you like that when you were alone.

“I shouldn’t have asked this of you”, he said, voice barely above a whisper.

You gulped, immediately looking away. “It’s whatever, Tae.”

“I’m sorry I was an ass earlier”, he continued, ignoring your words.

It brought you back to the night of his birthday, when he had said he’d never be an ass when it came to you. Had he only said that to ensnare you further?

You had never thought Taehyung would be the kind of man to make promises he couldn’t hold.

“You weren’t an ass”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “You asked me something and I said yes. I’m the stupid one that let it get to my head.”

“But this didn’t start today, did it?”

“Can we talk about this at home?”

You met his gaze, holding it until Taehyung finally gave in, nodding his head. “Alright.”

You said goodbye to Jungkook and his girlfriend, in the living room, before moving towards the door. They walked you to the door, telling you that Jimin had gone to his girlfriend’s place across the hall, and that they’d say you had to go. Jungkook’s girlfriend hugged you before you left, whispering encouragement in your ear. You exchanged phone numbers, even as Taehyung seemed a little weary next to you, and soon enough you were on the way.

The elevator ride down to the underground parking lot was spent in a tense silence. So was the car ride, and you pulled at dry skin on your bottom lip so much you could almost taste the metallic tang of blood on your tongue.

It was only when you were standing in Taehyung’s hall that you finally turned towards him.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He tilted his head to the side, mouth parted just a little. Just enough for his tongue to dart out and wet his lips. “Yeah?”

“Who’s Sanghee?”

He immediately froze. One hand in one of his pockets, the other holding the sweater he had brought back from Jimin’s place – he had apparently forgotten it there last time he had gone.

“I knew Jungkook’s girlfriend was up to no good…”

He walked away from you, and you followed him to the living room. Surprisingly enough, Yeontan hadn’t woken up when you had walked in, and the dog blinked tiredly at Taehyung, getting up from the spot it had been sleeping in on the couch. Taehyung threw the sweater next to his dog before he picked him up, hugging him tight to his chest as he pressed a kiss to the top of the dog’s head.

“You know”, you said as he avoided your gaze, “you don’t have to talk to me about her if you don’t want to.” You looked around, surprisingly finding yourself memorizing Taehyung’s living room. “I just think it’s time we talk about what’s going on between us.”

He slowly nodded, and the motion caught your attention. “I realized earlier…” He chuckled, almost bitterly. “I hadn’t realized you were into me like that.”

You hadn’t really either. The way he said it sounded like an accusation, and you furrowed your brows. “It’s not really like I could control it. It just was too real.”

His lips were stretched in a thin line when you looked at him. “I didn’t realize…”

“So tonight was all pretend, right?” You waited till he nodded before you continued. “But what about all the times we hung out before? Was that all a lie too?”

“Why are you talking in the past tense?”

It was the first time he showed concern about whatever was between you. As if he was only now realizing that it was coming to an end.

“Because I can’t keep going on like this”, you admitted.

He sat down on the couch, and his eyes fell to Yeontan in his arms. The small dog was looking at you, tongue on the side of his mouth, head cocked to the side. You wanted to get closer and snuggle him, but for the first time in months, you didn’t want to get closer to Kim Taehyung.

“Understood”, he said, nodding curtly.

“That’s all you’re going to say?”

He focused on Yeontan on his lap, hiding his features behind his hair. “I don’t know what to tell you. You asked me to teach you about…” he trailed off, as if he didn’t want to say the words. “We never talked about feelings.”

Tears were pricking at your eyes. “So it’s just me?”

He didn’t say anything. Only pet Yeontan as the dog watched you carefully. You wondered if he could hear your heart breaking in your chest. Slowly at first, and all at once when Taehyung met your gaze.

His eyes held finality. Like the last line of your favourite song.

“What did Jungkook’s girlfriend say about Sanghee?” he asked.

You thought your blood had turned cold in your veins, and you felt an icy sheen of sweat forming on every inch of your body. “Just her name.”

Taehyung didn’t speak for a time. “She’s an ex”, he admitted. He put Yeontan beside him, and the dog made itself at home right next to him. “We dated for a few months, but…”

You clenched your teeth, waiting for what was to come next.

“When we broke up we kept seeing each other”, he continued. “Purely physical. That’s why the guys wanted me to meet someone else.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, but somehow these were the last words he spoke for a long time.

So long you figured he wasn’t going to say anything else.

“When did you stop seeing her?” you asked, with a wavering voice that made you feel weak.

You thought you already knew, but you wanted to hear it from him. Needed to hear it from him, no matter how much it might hurt.

“It…” he trailed off. “We haven’t really stopped seeing each other.”

You had been a fool to think your heart had broken earlier. Because now it was falling, heading straight to hell, and it tore your chest open. Bled you dry, as your lungs burned. Oxygen made it worse, feeding the fire until every inch of you was burning with heartbreak.

All Taehyung did was look at you. Look at you with the stupid dark gaze that had made you fall for him all those years ago, and once again these few months ago. He looked apologetic, sorry, as if he was a child that had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

Worse, he looked like someone that had been caught cheating. But it wasn’t really cheating, was it? You hadn’t been dating. Had only been seeing each other for sex. Yes, Taehyung was a respectful man, and had never forced you to do anything if you didn’t feel like it. But you had imagined it to be more, to be him caring for you the same way you cared for him.

You had been delusional to think Kim Taehyung would care about someone else than himself.

After a little eternity, of unsaid words and unrequited feelings, you chose to go. To let him go, and to do what was the good thing for you. Preservation, maybe, even if every single part of you wanted to cross the distance between you and lose yourself in him again. Because maybe then you wouldn’t be hurting so much. Maybe then you could pretend the last few hours had never happened. Had only been a product of your imagination, a nightmare brought to life.

But nightmares were real, and it was time your feet found ground again. Ground and reality, where you could go back to living your life without the sins Kim Taehyung brought to it.

So, you looked away from him and you turned around, making your way towards the door.

“Wait, Y/n”, he said.

You didn’t stop, but he was quicker than you. Maybe because you were weak, and you didn’t really have the strength to walk away. Maybe because you cared too much, and it was slowing you down. He grabbed your wrist, turning you around and pulling you into his arms.

“I don’t want you to leave crying”, he said, wrapping his arms around your shaking frame.

Because you were crying now, sobbing with your face hidden in his chest. He gently ran a soothing hand on your back. And you wanted to curse him for it, to push him away until his heart broke too. He didn’t get to be the one to comfort you. Yet you couldn’t pull away, wanting to enjoy these last moments in the warmth of his arms.

“I really didn’t realize you cared for me like that”, he said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

It made you understand one thing: Taehyung didn’t feel for you the way you felt for him. You had been stupid to think everything would be alright. He had always been meant to break your heart.

Maybe he should have stayed a ghost in your life after all.

“You…” Taehyung started, but his voice caught in his throat.

“What the fuck is going on?”

You startled out of Taehyung’s arms, for what seemed like the hundredth time today. As if you had never been meant to be in his arms in the end. Now you knew that was true. You quickly wiped your cheeks dry, and almost wished you hadn’t when your vision cleared up.

Cleared up to reveal a red-faced Eunjin, with a plastic bag seemingly holding containers.

“What the fuck is going on?” she repeated.

“Why did you just come in like that at this time of the night?” Taehyung asked in the same reproachful tone your best friend had used.

Her eyes moved between you and her brother a couple of times before they settled on you. “Y/n, please tell me this is not what I think it is.”

“Eunjin”, Taehyung said with a stern voice. “It’s none of your business.”

“Something’s going on between the two of you and you didn’t think to tell me?” Eunjin’s voice had gone a little higher.

“What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked again.

She slowly shook her head, before putting down the bag she was holding. “Eoma asked me to bring you some side dishes and I didn’t have space in my fridge so I thought I’d drop it off.”

“You can’t just come unannounced.”

“You can’t just fuck my best friend.”

“Eunjin!” you burst out. “Whatever was between us is over.” It made Taehyung tense next to you, but he knew it just as well as you did. Wasn’t it what he wanted?

Eunjin only then realized the tears you had failed at drying. Or maybe your eyes had gone bloodshot, as they tended to do whenever you cried. “Y/n…”

“And now I’m going to go home”, you added and you continued moving towards the door.

Eunjin quickly fell into step with you. “I’m going to kill him.” She let out a bitter chuckle. “Oh he is fucking dead.” This time she scoffed. “I can’t believe he would hurt you.”

“What makes you think he hurt me?” you said as you stopped at the door to put your shoes on.

“I know my brother”, she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s the only thing he knows how to do.”

You were almost offended by what she implied. You looked behind, hoping Taehyung would be there to defend himself, but he hadn’t followed you. It hurt and burned, and you wished you could go back to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. But you couldn’t. Especially not now that Eunjin was next to you.

“The only thing he cares about is himself”, Eunjin continued, and you hated that you had yourself thought so just a moment ago. “He uses people and drops them when he doesn’t need them anymore.”

The look you threw her finally made her shut up. She offered you an apologetic smile, but you ignored it as you stepped out.

“Let me drive you home”, Eunjin gently said once you were outside.

You nodded, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall again. Eunjin noticed, and she grabbed your hand reassuringly.

“I can’t believe I lied to you all this time”, you said, brushing the tears that had spilled on your cheek.

Knowing Eunjin and the grudges she could hold, you could only hope she wouldn’t hold this one. “You know what? I suspected it. During the Holidays. But I wanted you to tell me yourself and then I just thought it was all in my head.”

You chuckled sadly. “Wasn’t in your head.”

“Unfortunately”, she grumbled, looking behind her. “But let’s not talk about it tonight.”

“Aren’t you working tomorrow?” you asked with a small voice.

She shook her head no. “This is an emergency, work can wait.”

This time, you really couldn’t stop the tears that rolled on your cheeks.

“Oh Y/n”, she said, pulling you in her embrace. “I’m so sorry.”

You were tired of Kim siblings apologizing today, but Eunjin’s arms felt a lot more reassuring than Taehyung’s had felt just a moment ago. Strangely enough, just like a moment ago, this hug was interrupted by a Kim sibling, one you really didn’t want to see at the moment.

“Y/n”, Taehyung called from the door to his building.

Eunjin turned on her heels so quickly it almost made you fall. “You go back inside”, she said, motioning to the building. “You don’t get to hurt her and then pretend nothing happened.”

“Eunjin”, Taehyung said carefully. “I just want to talk.”

“Not today, oppa.”

She had her fists on her hips, standing her ground in front of her older brother. It was all for you, and it made a small laugh fall from your lips.

The two siblings threw you a surprised look, and when you met Taehyung’s gaze your heart constricted in your chest, reminding you of the reality of heartbreak.

“What do you want, Tae?”

You had barely spoken over a whisper, but you could see him gulp in the distance. “I just want to talk”, he repeated. “Just to explain myself.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re important to me”, he said. “I can’t just let you go like that.”

“Maybe you should have decided that before breaking her heart, asshole”, Eunjin grumbled.

“Eunjin”, you said in the same scolding tone she had just used.

She rolled her eyes, folding her arms on her chest. “Don’t make me angry at you too.”

You slowly nodded, before turning towards Taehyung again. He looked pale. As if all the honey in his skin had drained, leaving only a pale shade behind. A ghost of what you knew he truly looked like. He almost looked as if this was hurting him as much as it was hurting you, and it made you want to hate him.

But you didn’t really have it in you to hate Kim Taehyung. No matter how broken and jagged the pieces of your heart felt.

“Listen, Tae”, you breathed, and you blinked away tears – who knew you were such a crier when it came to men? “I don’t really want to talk right now.”

“But…”

“Not today, Tae”, you said, echoing Eunjin’s previous words. “I’m tired, and I want to go home.”

He ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands. It made them stand on his head, and he looked somehow desperate. As if letting you go was taking its toll on him.

A little dirty part of you was satisfied at the thought that he felt bad too.

“Okay”, he let out. He shut his eyes, cocking his head to the side. “Just call me when you want to talk.”

“I will.” It was a promise, more than you wanted to give him. But the part of you that cared for him really hated that he looked hurt. Deeply, just like you were.

Why would he have run after you if he didn’t care?

It was a treacherous thought to have, and there was so much to discuss between the two of you. Feelings you had ignored so well you hadn’t even realized they were there until it was too late. Stuff he had hidden from you, or that you had never thought to ask. That you had never thought you needed to ask. You had thought what you had with him was real, in some way. Had convinced yourself so well, you had never even seen the signs that it might not be.

Was she why he hadn’t sought to see you more often? The question was poison to your bleeding heart, and you pushed it away. You would have plenty of time to think about it tomorrow, or the day after that. For now, you needed to focus on mending the broken pieces of your heart, in Eunjin’s company. Someone you never should have lied to in the first place. After all, maybe she would have been able to save you the broken heart.

But maybes weren’t going to fix the situation, weren’t they?

 *****

                 Heartbreak did a strange thing to the world. It made it seem colourless, as if the colours had leeched from your surroundings the same way the happiness had disappeared. Everything was meek, shining in shades of a morose gray to which melancholy clung. Sleep evaded you most nights, and you spent the darkest hours rethinking the events.

Wondering where it all went wrong. What you did wrong for him to keep seeing her. Were you bad in bed? For all his praise, had he only been lying to you?

All the questions spun in your head relentlessly. You were aware that it was toxic to think about it, but Taehyung was your first heartbreak. You didn’t really know how to act, and exhaustion was clinging to you.

It had been a week since you had left Taehyung’s place. He had watched you leave, and hadn’t Eunjin been by your side you probably would have run back to him. Instead, you had only looked at him while Eunjin had been driving away, and Taehyung’s broken eyes had made you burst out crying again.

You were glad for Eunjin. She had been picking up your pieces, slowly but surely. Spending as much time with you as she could. It made you feel weak, but this was your first broken heart. You didn’t really know how to heal it, and having your best friend by your side helped.

Especially since you didn’t have to lie to her anymore. You could tell she was disappointed, that you had kept everything silent, but still she was by your side, never pushing you to talk.

She hadn’t really needed to anyway. You had told her everything the next day, even if some parts had clearly made her uncomfortable considering Taehyung was her older brother. Even through all the wincing, she had held your hand, and when you had cried, she had dried your tears. Somehow, you hadn’t been able to talk about Sanghee though. The subject hurt too much, and you had chosen to wait. It wasn’t like it mattered anyway.

You were currently lying in bed. Eunjin was next to you, scrolling on her phone. Your own cell phone had been foreign to you since last week. Mostly because Taehyung had texted you the next day to ask when you wanted to talk. Eunjin had been the one to tell him you needed more time, and ever since then your phone had been silent.

The silence was like a colourless world. Morose, melancholic, and it made everything ache a little more. Because there were reminders of Taehyung everywhere, in this world. The perks of getting your heart broken by someone famous.

You sighed, running a hand on your face.

“Everything okay?” Eunjin quickly asked, concern laced with her voice.

Your hand stalled on your face for a few seconds before you let it slide to the bed as you nodded slightly. “Just feel lonely.”

It wasn’t your first time telling her that. “I’m right here.”

“I know.”

You let out a small bitter chuckle, because she knew just as well as you that the person you wanted to see was Taehyung, and not her. Even if you loved Eunjin deeply, she wasn’t her brother.

“Do you think I should talk to him today?” you asked, turning your head towards her.

She was already looking at you, with a somber expression on her features. “Do you feel ready to talk to him?”

All week you had told her no. But for some reason, your first instinct wasn’t to say no today. It wasn’t like you wanted to wait forever; if Taehyung had something to tell you, you wanted to hear it now. Not when talking to him would reopen the wounds.

You needed to truly put him in the past if you wanted to move on from him. A conversation would offer closure, and hopefully then it wouldn’t hurt as bad.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready”, you admitted. “I just want to get it over with.”

Eunjin’s features reminded you of Taehyung. The slight pout of her lips, her eyebrows raised just a little over her eyes… she looked a little too much like him.

It made you look away, and your gaze moved back to the ceiling.

“I get it, honestly”, Eunjin said after a few more seconds of silence. “Do you want me to text him to come over?”

“Uh”, you let out, before letting out a small laugh. “While you’re here?”

Eunjin nudged you with an elbow. “As much as I’d like to murder him, I think it’s a conversation you need to have with him alone.”

“Yeah”, you agreed. “That’s what I think too.” You paused, letting out another longing sigh. “I can text him myself though.”

Eunjin sat up, and her heavy gaze on you couldn’t be avoided anymore. “I’ll keep my phone close. If you need me, you call.”

You followed her, sitting up next to her. “I will, I promise.”

She slowly nodded, before glancing at the door of your apartment. As she remained silent, you grabbed your phone from the bedside table. It felt strange in your hands, as if thinking that you were about to text Taehyung was giving you a little life again.

It wasn’t all that much that you missed him. It was more of a relief, knowing that the pain was finally coming to an end. Or to whatever end a conversation with Taehyung could lead to.

You had talked to Jungkook’s girlfriend this week. She had been sweet and had offered to meet up for coffee sometime. You had agreed, and you were set to grab coffee with her next week. It showed you one thing: even if Taehyung might be about to get out of your life, there were still other people, new people that you would meet.

Your phone scanned your features, before opening to your home screen. You sighed, clicking on the text message app. It took everything in you to open the conversation with Taehyung, and you looked up to Eunjin as the conversation appeared on the screen.

“Gosh”, you let out.

She offered you an encouraging smile. “It’s going to be okay”, she reassured you. “Taehyung is an ass, but he’s willing to talk. That’s more than I’ve ever seen him do for someone before.”

You hated the seed of hope that it planted in you, but a foolish, stupid part of you clung to it. You needed hope after all the pain. But you tried to tame the hope, to push it away. Taehyung had been seeing someone else. All that time you had imagined to be special between the two of you, he had had someone else in his life.

You weren’t sure it was something you could ever forgive him for, but you were willing to listen to him. Maybe because you had known him for most of your life, and you owed him as much. Though you weren’t sure he deserved it, after all he had done.

His explanations needed to be good.

“Did he tell you about Sanghee?” you asked her.

You had avoided her mention ever since you had left Taehyung’s place, but you needed to know. Whatever Eunjin might tell you… because some part of you didn’t even believe Taehyung would tell you everything.

“Sanghee? He told you about her?” She looked genuinely surprised.

You shook your head no. “Not really. He just mentioned her because Jungkook’s girlfriend talked to me about her.”

“They were dating last year”, Eunjin said. “Sanghee was just in the picture for his money and fame. Taehyung broke up with her when he realized.”

“Did he tell you that he kept seeing her after that?”

Eunjin’s face was unreadable for a time. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” She looked sorry. Apologetic, at having to tell you that. Because she was your best friend: you knew she wished she could tell you that Taehyung was just rainbows and butterflies. She knew him better than anyone else though, and she wasn’t a liar.

You knew she would never lie to you.

“He told me he did”, you admitted. “That’s mostly why I ended things between us.”

It hadn’t really been the only cause. Because you still were ashamed to say you had fallen in love with him while he had only cared for you for sex. You had already told her enough about your story with Taehyung, and you didn’t want to explore it further with her.

It was something that was yours and his. You didn’t want to share it with his sister too.

“You know what?” Eunjin let out. “For someone that never dated anyone, you really know your worth.”

You furrowed your brows. “I let him string me along for months.”

Eunjin cocked her head to the side, her lips stretched in a white line. “You still ended things with him. The only other person that was able to break up with him was his first girlfriend.”

You remembered her, a little. Just that she had been in the picture. You had never really met her, but you knew losing her had broken Taehyung’s heart. It had been years ago, sometime around when you and Taehyung had stopped talking to you.

“Go me”, you said weakly, and Eunjin let out a small laugh.

“Go you”, she agreed. She threw her arms around you, hugging you tight. You hugged her back, nuzzling your face in her neck. “I still want to kill him for hurting you though.”

“I might kill him myself”, you mumbled.

She laughed again, a clear laugh that did wonders to your broken heart. “You should. Teach him a lesson. It’s time he stops being an asshole.”

You weren’t really sure you would have such an impact on Kim Taehyung. Even if you had known him before he became all that he now was, you were nothing compared to him.

You pushed the insecurity away. You weren’t nothing. You were your own person, and the fact you weren’t a celebrity like him meant nothing. In fact, you were glad for it. You didn’t envy his famous status, and the scrutiny under which he was forced to live his life. Maybe he would have turned out differently, hadn’t it been for all of that.

“Now, tell him to come over”, Eunjin said as she pulled away, still holding you by the shoulders.

You nodded, and you glanced down at your phone. The screen had turned dark, and this time when it scanned your features and opened, it opened right on the conversation with Taehyung. You quickly typed a message, something simple, because you weren’t quite convinced you would still have the courage to invite him over to talk if you wrote more than a sentence.

You watched the message go from sent to delivered, and then you met Eunjin’s gaze again. “Done.”

She smiled at you. “Good. Now I’m going to get a baseball bat in case…”

“Eunjin-ie!” you exclaimed, pushing her away. “You’re the one that told me to invite him over.”

Her smile turned devilish. “I’m just saying I really want to beat some sense into him.”

“I’ll do it myself, I told you”, you grumbled.

Before she replied, Taehyung sent a message back, saying that he was on his way. You worried at your bottom lip, putting your phone away.

“So?”

“He’s on his way”, you told Eunjin.

“Damn, this is not my brother”, she whispered. She shook her head, widening her eyes in surprise before glancing at the door.

“What do you mean?”

She shrugged sheepishly. “He doesn’t act like that with girls. And I really hope he’s not only doing this because you are my friend.”

You could imagine that he would. Family was important to Taehyung, far more than it was to most people nowadays. If talking to you could preserve his relationship with Eunjin, you were pretty sure he would. But Eunjin had been entirely loyal to you, ever since last week. She had told you she had ignored his calls, and that she would until everything was settled between the two of you. And for all her complaining, you knew Eunjin cared about Taehyung just as much as he cared about her.

No matter the outcome of your conversation today, you knew she would still remain just as close to him as she’d always been. You couldn’t blame her for it, he was her older brother after all.

Eunjin left a few minutes later. Hugging you tight to her chest, telling you once again to call or text if you needed to. You reassured her, telling her that you were strong enough to do this yourself, but as you watched her disappear, you fought an unexpected wave of tears. You blinked them away, cursing Taehyung under your breath, before moving to your couch.

Where this whole thing had started in the first place. You sighed deeply, wishing you could go back in time to erase what had happened here all those months ago. But as you waited for Taehyung, you tried to think about something else. About anything that wouldn’t make your mood fall lower than it already was. You didn’t want him to know just how bad you had been doing.

Taehyung arrived a while later. For some reason, you had expected him to get to your place in no time, but it took him almost an hour. When he knocked on your door, you paused the drama you had put on as background noise, taking a deep breath to collect the little courage that you still had.

You got up from the couch, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip as you slowly walked to the door. Slowly, because you dreaded the moment you’d open it and you’d be forced to gaze at his handsome features.

Your hand was on the knob when he knocked again, and it made you jump a little. You took another shuddering breath in, and then you turned the doorknob.

The sight of Taehyung wasn’t what you had expected it would be. His hair was ruffled, untamed, and he was plainly dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt. His eyes avoided yours, but you immediately noticed the dark circles that painted them, making him look dreadful.

Taehyung looked just as exhausted as you felt.

A little yelp attracted your attention, and your eyes fell to the floor. Yeontan was looking up at you, and as soon as you noticed him, he ran to you, begging to be picked up.

“Hey you”, you let out, surprised to see him there. You bent down, scratching the dog’s head. Knowing you couldn’t avoid it any longer, you looked up at Taehyung.

He finally met your gaze. “Hey.” His voice was small. Deep, deeper than the ocean, but it sounded empty. Void of the warmth it usually carried.

Whatever remained of your heart in your chest constricted, aching more than you had even expected it could. You had to gulp down a sudden lump in your throat, and you picked Yeontan up to busy yourself. To give yourself an excuse to look away.

“Why did you bring Yeontan?” you asked once you were standing, the leash hanging between you and him.

He shrugged. “I thought you might want to see him.”

You looked at him for a few seconds, before turning towards your apartment. “Come in.”

He followed you in, letting the leash go so he could take off his shoes. You brought Yeontan in, putting him down on the carpet next to your couch.

“Animals aren’t allowed here”, you said, and you dug your hands in the back pockets of your jeans so Taehyung wouldn’t notice they were shaking a little.

He shrugged. “If they complain I’ll buy the building.”

You cocked an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side. “That’s a bit excessive.”

He shrugged again, before walking in. He had put on the slippers you had gotten especially for him. They were BTS slippers, and you had gotten them as a joke in January.

You smiled a little at the memory, but froze as he moved closer to you.

“I don’t care.” He stopped about a meter and a half away from you, and the distance had never felt so wide. “Just a peace offering.”

You pursed your lips, slowly nodding your head. Yeontan barked, and a small smile broke on your mouth as you bent down to pet him again.

You didn’t see it, but Taehyung looked at your smile as if it was an oasis in the middle of the desert.

“You’re lucky I love him”, you said with a tiny voice.

Taehyung stayed silent, and you just played with the dog for a time. Mostly because you wanted to avoid the conversation. As much as you needed to talk to him, or to hear what he wanted to say, you also dreaded the end of whatever it was that you and Taehyung had shared.

But you couldn’t push the moment away for far longer. Soon enough, you had to stand up straight, and face whatever Taehyung had to say.

You schooled your features into neutrality, hoping he wouldn’t see the ache behind your eyes before finally straightening and meeting his gaze.

His dark gaze looked similar to what you were used to, but something was missing. The spark that it had held before was gone. It made Taehyung look infinitely sad. You hated it, and you clenched your jaw.

“Do you want to sit?” he asked.

You hadn’t expected it. You looked at your couch, remembering everything that had ever happened there. You shook the memories away, before sitting. Yeontan jumped on the floor, begging to be put on the couch too. You couldn’t help but laugh a little, before giving in to the dog’s desire. He let out a small bark, as Taehyung sat on the other extremity of the couch.

He had the ghost of a smile on his lips, and you quickly looked away at the sight of it.

You sat in silence for a while. Not knowing where to start, not wanting to be the first one to talk. You wanted him to talk first, to tell you whatever he had run out in the night to tell you the other day. But Taehyung seemed to be struggling to find words to say. You’d let him have all the time he needed before he collected his thoughts.

“How have you been doing?” he asked.

It took you by surprise, to hear him asking that first. You wet your lips, shrugging. “I don’t think you’re here to talk about that, Tae.”

He was looking at the floor, and a glance at him showed you the way his shoulders seemed to fall forward, making him look defeated. And maybe he was, after everything.

“Sorry”, he apologized. “I just… I don’t even know where to start.”

You worried at your bottom lip. “Why don’t you start by telling me what you wanted to say last week?”

He shrugged, and there was another long silence.

“Sanghee means nothing”, he finally said. “She never really did.”

You breathed in and out once, shakily. “But you never stopped seeing her.”

“It was entirely just physical. And it didn’t even happen a lot. She called sometimes and I just went because I was bored. I have and had no interest in her ever, if I’m honest.” He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I called her at the beginning of the week to end things with her. It was stupid that I was still seeing her”, he scoffed. “I hate that I had to hurt you to realize that, but she never even mattered.”

He fell silent, and you just watched his profile for a time. Yeontan had crossed the distance to Taehyung, perhaps sensing that his dad needed him.

“It just feels…” you trailed off. The beginning of the sentence had been accusative, and you took a deep breath to calm down. “It makes me feel like I wasn’t enough. Or not good enough.”

“Trust me”, Taehyung said, finally meeting your gaze. “It has nothing to do with that at all. I just…” He glanced down at your hands. You were wriggling your fingers, anxiously, and he looked so full of hate for himself for a time… It made him look ugly. “I can’t really justify my actions. Because they have no reasons. She asked and I didn’t really care so I went. But…” He paused, wetting his lips, searching your features for a few seconds. “It never felt with her the way it felt with you.”

“What is it supposed to mean?” you asked with a weak voice you wanted to hate yourself for.

He looked down at Yeontan as the little dog struggled to climb on his lap. “That if all the times with her could have been with you, then I would have had them with you.”

Your eyes were sad when he looked at you again. But they held no tears, and you weren’t sure you would be crying more tears for him. You had cried enough.

“You could have had them with me, Tae…”

He shut his eyes, running a hand through his hair. “I know. I realize that now. I just always thought… because of Eunjin I just…”

He was at a loss for words. That much was clear. And you didn’t know what to do to help him.

“Do you want a glass of water?” you asked as he searched for words.

His eyes fell open, and a crease appeared between his brows. “What?”

“Do you want a glass of water?”

He looked at you with an unreadable expression for a time. “Uh yes, please.”

You nodded, getting up from your spot on the couch to walk the short distance to the kitchen. You could feel the weight of Taehyung’s gaze on your back, but you didn’t look back. Instead, you focused on pouring the water from your water filter pitcher in a glass. Once the glass was full and you had no excuse left, you turned around and walked back towards Taehyung.

He looked at a random spot on your wrist as you handed him the glass. He carefully took it, and your fingers touched for a moment. You hated that it made you want to reach out and grab his hand.

He said your name, his voice barely even audible to you. “Thank you.”

You nodded your head, offering him a small smile, before you moved back to your own spot on the couch. You settled yourself comfortably, sitting angled towards Taehyung. He noticed, and he also turned his chest towards you, resting his shoulder against the couch before taking a long sip of water.

“I thought that because of Eunjin, you would never really be interested in me”, he said once he had swallowed. “And I fully understand how stupid that is, I was an oblivious ass. Or maybe it was me and I didn’t want to think about anything more happening between us…” He trailed off, and he let out a little broken chuckle that made every inch of your body ache. “But the day of my birthday. Fuck, I wanted to hate you after. But I couldn’t and I kept coming back.”

“What?” you let out.

He wet his lips, and he searched your features for a couple of seconds. “You know, when I was younger, I always imagined myself getting married. And now, when I look at myself in the future, I see myself with someone like you. Someone that knows me from before, someone that cares for me for the person that I was back then. I think that’s why I was attracted to you in the first place.”

You were stunned for a moment, unexpecting the words that were spilling from his mouth now. And he didn’t seem like he could stop anymore, as if the glass of water had helped him to finally find the words he had been wanting to say earlier.

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Scratch that”, he added. “I don’t see myself with someone like you. I see myself with you. With you by my side, raising my children with me. I think you’re the only one that can understand why I want five children. Because there was the five of us growing up and it was perfect. You’re the only one that I can imagine sharing my life with that way.”

“Tae”, you let out. “You can’t just say all of that.”

It stopped the words falling from his mouth. Yet his lips remained parted, and you could almost hear the echo of his voice in your skull.

He was pale. He had been pale last week, but he looked even worse today. As if he hadn’t seen the sun in a while, and hadn’t eaten well since then either. He looked crestfallen, and all the fight that you had seen in him for the last few minutes drained out of him, leaving but an empty husk of him behind.

“I was falling for you”, you said carefully. “I fell for you once when we were younger, and then all these months… it was like my teenage dreams coming to reality. And it makes me uncomfortable that all along there was someone else…” You pursed your lips, searching for words, a little like he had been a moment ago. “Was there anyone else, other than Sanghee?”

You hadn’t expected the question. Clearly he hadn’t either, because his eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. “Never. Not even once. And you have to trust me, Sanghee means nothing to me. It really was just physical. Maybe I agreed to meet with her because I kept telling myself I couldn’t be with you. Because of Eunjin, and because of who we were to each other.”

Somehow it really didn’t make you feel better. But at the same time… he wanted to be with you. He imagined himself with you in the future, like you had been imagining yourself with him. Even if you refused to admit it to yourself, you had chosen Taehyung because, to you, there was never going to be someone else than him. It had been him once, and it would always be him.

You were weak for Kim Taehyung. Had been before you had even known what it meant.

“Where does that put us though?” you questioned. “You were acting weird with me, Tae. All these months. I never could have imagined there was someone else.”

“I know.” The look of defeat on him only worsened. “I can’t show you how I was with her because I’d never treat you like that.” He scoffed. “You could talk to Jungkook. I think it’s the first time in my life he actually was angry at me. But his girlfriend… She really likes you. She told me I was a disgusting prick and that I didn’t deserve you. She said I was stringing you along…” There was silver lining his gaze now. “I never meant to string you along. I didn’t realize that I was stringing you along until I understood how oblivious I’ve been.”

You would need to tell the girl you loved her. As soon as you could. Because having her stick up for you meant more than you could ever say.

“I wasn’t all that better”, you said.

It was true. You also had avoided talking to him about how you felt. Had avoided even thinking about it as much as you could. Funnily enough, it had never been about Eunjin to you. But you could understand why it had been that way to him. Eunjin was his little sister, someone he had taken care of. He would have never done anything that could put a wedge in his relationship with her.

Except he had, and that thing was you.

“I didn’t talk to you either”, you said. “I mean.” You let out a small anxious laugh. “I didn’t want to talk to you about how I felt, because I refused to even admit it to myself. But at Jimin’s dinner, I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. The more you showed me affection, the more I felt myself sinking.”

You fell silent and he just observed you for a time, with that deep dark gaze of his.

“I can’t really blame you”, he finally said. “Yes, I could see that we both have faults in this. But…” He slowly shook his head again. “Princess, I was using you.”

“Were you?” you enquired, and your heart beat quicker in your chest. “Were you using me, Tae?”

There really were tears in his eyes. It made his gaze dim, with sadness and melancholy. “No. I wanted to see you. If I used someone, it was Sanghee. Never you. I actually enjoyed spending time with you. You remind me of a simpler time.” He wet his lips. “I really like the time we spent together.”

“I liked it too.” You could admit that.

He held your gaze. “I am so sorry.”

He truly looked sorry. In all truth, he looked like a beaten puppy. Even with Yeontan cuddling by his side, Taehyung looked like a little lost boy. He was clutching the glass of water – he had only drunk a couple of sips, and the glass was still half full. You wanted to reach between you, to run a hand through his hair soothingly…

“What for?” you asked.

He laughed bitterly. “For everything. I was everything I don’t like about me with you. And I regret it.”

Could you forgive him? You really wanted to. You wanted to forget everything had happened, but you didn’t think you had it in you.

You still were aching, imagining him in the arms of someone else.

The silence stretched between you. You didn’t know what to say, and clearly he had told you everything. He sighed, and it left his nose shakily, as if he was on the verge of breaking. Yet you could tell he already had broken, much like you had.

It was surprising to think that you had broken Kim Taehyung too. Or maybe he had done that all by myself, breaking his heart as he tore yours from your chest.

“It’s okay”, you let out. “Thank you for telling me.”

There was a dismissal in your words. He heard it just as clear as you did. He ran a shaky hand on Yeontan, who let out a small sad sound.

“Thank you for listening.” He shut his eyes once more, the perfect picture of the fallen angel. You had thought him to be a devil once. You now knew that devils ached too. Had fallen just like everyone else. “You know”, he said, and his deep voice sounded oh so tired. “Watching you walk away the other day… it felt like I was dying. It made me realize that I care for you far more than I wanted to admit it to myself. And I’m aware that I took you for granted. I won’t ask you to be mine, because it feels unfair after what happened. I just…”

He trailed off, and his gaze met yours again. He wanted you to read the words in his eyes, but you needed to hear them.

“You just what?”

“I just want you to know that, wherever you go in this world, I will always be loving you.”

A tear slipped on your cheek, free falling, the same way you were free falling. Heading straight to the ground, yet…

Yet you didn’t reach it this time.

“Tae…”

“I’m crazy for you.” He said it like he had a hard time believing it himself. “I really am. I’m sorry I fucked everything up.”

You let his words sink in for a time. It wasn’t his first time telling you he was crazy for you. He had said so, on his birthday, when he had come to talk to you in his father’s office. You hadn’t thought his words had meant more than his sexual attraction to you. But you saw it in his eyes now. You saw the way they shone in the light. With emotion and intensity and regret. So much regret.

“Tae”, you repeated. “Do you…” You searched for the right words for a time. “Do you really think all of that?”

“Yes”, he said without a beat of silence. “It took me losing you to realize it. But yes, you matter to me. A hell of a lot.”

You tilted your head to the side. “You like me?”

He looked infinitely confused, with a crease between his perfect eyebrows, and a strand of hair falling in his eyes. “I just told you I’m in love with you?”

“Say it again.”

He understood. Quite at the same time as you did.

You weren’t going to let him go. You couldn’t let him go.

“Y/n…”

“Say it again.”

“I love you, princess”, he said, and he let out a small chuckle. A tear escaped the jail of his eyelids, rolling on his cheek until it fell on Yeontan’s head.

You folded your arms on your chest, then thought better of it and you hid your face in your hands, as a small broken sob shook your frame.

“No”, Taehyung let out.

It took a few seconds, but then he was taking you in his arms, crushing you against his chest. You laughed, sadly, as tears just cascaded on your cheeks. Taehyung was shaking, as if he was cold, and you let go of your face, only to bury it in his neck. You wrapped your arms around his waist, and one of his hands found its way to your hair. He massaged your scalp gently and you let him hold you. Let him comfort you. Because you wanted Taehyung to comfort you. You wanted to be with him.

But he couldn’t be with someone else at the same time.

“Tae”, you said against his neck.

He held you tighter. “Princess…”

“You can’t see someone else.”

He let out a small broken sound. “As if I’d ever want someone else than you, fuck.”

It was your turn to hold him tighter. Until Yeontan barked, and the two of you started laughing. You pulled away, trying to reach for the dog. But Taehyung was holding your shoulders, and a second later his hands moved to your cheeks. He dried your tears, and then pulled you in.

You let out a small, surprised sound as his lips found yours. But they were just as soft as you remembered, and you immediately melted into his touch. You kissed him back, with all the hurt that you had been carrying over the last week. Until Yeontan barked again, demanding attention.

“Wait, wait”, Taehyung said, pulling away from you. “Yeontan.” He used a firm authoritative voice, yet it only seemed to make his dog go crazy even more. Taehyung let out a long sigh and was about to turn towards his dog when you ran a hand through his untamed hair.

“You look like shit”, you said, and new tears rolled on your cheeks.

His eyes widened in fake offence. “Excuse me?”

“You haven’t slept and your hair is all a mess”, you tried to explain. “I’m so sorry I made you wait for a week.”

“Hey hey hey”, he said with a soothing voice, grabbing your wrists as you were once again going to run your hands through his hair in a hopeless attempt to tame the wild strands. “I would have waited for a lot longer if it was what you would have needed. It’s okay.”

Yeontan barked again.

“Let me just…” he trailed off, letting go of your wrists so he could grab his dog. “What’s wrong?”

Yeontan just looked at him with an innocent look on his face.

“I think he’s jealous.”

“Well, let me put him in your bathroom real quick”, Taehyung said with his classic small pout.

You loved when he looked at you like that. You watched him get up and move to the bathroom, while he murmured soothing words to his dog. Yeontan let out a single bark when Taehyung closed the door behind him, but then he fell silent.

You were thankful for it, because the look on Taehyung’s face had entirely changed once he settled his gaze on you again. You gulped as he walked back towards you.

He was yours. Kim Taehyung was yours. And it was true. The part he had mentioned about children. You understood why he wanted five kids. You wanted five of them yourself, just to offer them the childhood that you had yourself lived. You hadn’t told him earlier, but the urge to do so now was stronger than you.

“Tae”, you said as he sat back next to you.

“Mmh?”

You turned, facing him with your whole body. “I want to have children with you too. You’re the only person I could imagine a future like that with. I think that’s why I asked you, when I was drunk at Eunjin’s party.”

A small smirk had moved on his lips, and it gave colour to his cheeks again. To the whole world around him too, and your heart rate increased in your chest.

“Well then we better get started, mmh?”

Your mouth fell open. “Now?”

He shrugged, before leaning down to peck your lips. “Whenever you want, princess.”

“I’m on the pill so it can’t be right now. And I have my job so we would need to plan a little more but…”

Taehyung crashed his lips on yours, interrupting your rambling and you kissed him back, grabbing his cheeks to hold him close. He kissed you hungrily, passionately, with that same fire you had gotten used to with him. Only this time, the fire didn’t burn. It was like the fire a hearth held in the winter. It was welcoming, warm and made a home a home.

Taehyung was your home. He always had been.

Your tongue swiped at his bottom lip, asking for more, and soon enough he met it with his own. You sighed in his mouth, climbing on his lap as he pulled you, holding your waist firmly. As if he was afraid you’d go.

You wouldn’t be stupid enough to go again.

You moved from his mouth to his neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on the warm skin. Wet kisses, and you sucked on his skin as you moved lower, where the collar of his shirt hid the rest of his body from you.

“Princess…” he breathed, and it almost sounded like a moan.

You sucked on the skin again, before moving up to his lips. Capturing them in another wild kiss, as Taehyung’s hands slid from your waist to your ass.

“Do you know how much I love it when you call me ‘princess’?” you asked him as you pulled away.

He was looking at you through half-lidded eyes, and you could see the lust burning in his gaze. A fire that was about to consume the two of you.

You had stopped caring when he had told you he loved you.

“I know”, he said, and a smirk moved on his glossy lips. “I know what my princess likes.”

You bit your tongue to refrain from moaning. Because he had grinded up as he had said the words, and the prominent bulge in his pants brushed against your clit.

“Tae…”

There was a moment where you just stared at each other. Gazed at each other, with longing and lust and love. Because there was love between the two of you, even if you had tried to ignore it for all those months.

“Y/n…”

You pecked his lips once, and the hands that had been holding you up on his shoulders slid down his frame, until you reached the hem of his shirt. With no hesitation, you pulled it up his torso, and Taehyung pushed up from the couch so he could help you get the shirt off. Once his honey skin was free from the fabric, you ran your hands down his frame again, enjoying the hard planes of his perfect body. He watched you as you did so, his large hands having found your ass once more.

He squeezed your ass as your fingers glided over his ribs. “That tickles.”

You let out a small feminine laugh. The laugh only he had been able to bring out of you. “Sorry.”

You dove in once again, kissing him slow and deep, with your tongues meeting halfway. You sucked on his, and he grunted in your mouth, before letting his hands wander up and under your shirt. He pulled it up your frame, and you pulled away just long enough for him to take it off you before crashing your lips on his again.

His skilled fingers reached to your back untying your bra, but before he had been able to pull the fabric off your body, your phone rang.

You both turned your head to the device. It was face down on your bed, where you had left it earlier as you had been waiting for Taehyung.

“Do you want to get that?” he asked, right as he took off your bra.

You hesitated a few seconds, before getting up. “It’s probably your sister checking up on me.”

You crossed the distance to your bed, climbing the small flight of stairs that led to it. You sat on the mattress, letting out a small laugh as your eyes fell to your naked breasts. Your nipples were perked up, and you didn’t need to look at Taehyung to know what he was looking at.

You grabbed your phone, turning it at the same time as it stopped ringing. It was a missed call from Eunjin. A slight blush crept on your cheeks, and you quickly opened the phone so you could text her that you were okay.

Her reply came in before you had time to put the phone aside.

Does this mean you’re going to fuck my brother again?

Your cheeks were burning red when you looked up towards Taehyung. “Gosh.”

He smiled. “Eunjin?”

You nodded. “Let me just…” you trailed off as you texted your best friend that she was disgusting, adding three little dots and the winking emoji. You then shut your phone off, until only a black screen was staring up at you, before you looked at Taehyung again.

“She will probably kill me”, he said.

“She can try”, you replied from your spot on the bed. You put your phone on your bedside table, before moving until you were lying on your side, looking at Taehyung. “Why don’t you come here?”

The smirk on his lips made heat pool at your core as he moved towards you. Ever so slowly, with that same predator gait that made your blood boil inside. You bit your lip, holding in your own smirk.

Taehyung stopped next to your mattress. He undid his belt, slowly, and you shamelessly looked down as he let his pants fall around his ankles. The imprint of his dick in his pale underwear had you salivating, especially as your eyes followed it to the tip, where a wet spot indicated that precum had already leaked from his dick.

“You’re already hard for me”, you praised.

He palmed himself through his boxer briefs, cocking his head to the side. “My princess likes me hard, doesn’t she?”

You sat up, before moving to a kneeling position beside him. Because of your mattress, your mouth was at a level with his stomach instead of his dick, so you pressed a kiss under his belly button, before sucking the skin in. Totally aiming to leave a love bite there.

He hissed, one of his large hands moving in your hair so he could hold it like a ponytail. “You’re going to be a good girl and suck my dick, mmh?”

You kissed the tip of his dick, licking your lips chasing the salty taste of him. “Will you be a good boy and fuck me after?”

He let out a small laugh. “Dominant might look good on you.”

You bit into the side of his dick, softly. “Would it?” You moved to the tip, licking it. “I wonder what you would look like with me whipping you?”

His eyes went ten shades darker. “We’ll have to try.”

He grunted as you sucked him through the brief, and your saliva added a bigger spot where the precum already was. Taehyung seemed to grow tired of your teasing, because he pulled on your hair, long enough so he could pull his briefs down. His dick sprung free, and you let out a small breathy sound.

“You’re so thirsty for my dick, mmh?” Taehyung said. “You’re going to be a good girl and milk it for me now.”

You whined a little, because he was still pulling on your hair. He loosened the grip, and you immediately moved forward… only you avoided his dick, and you planted an open-mouthed kiss on the base of it. Looking up at Taehyung, holding his gaze as his cock stood hard next to your face.

“Fucking tease.” Taehyung looked angry, somehow. The cursing turned you on, and you sucked on the base of his dick, as you wrapped a hand around his length. Slowly jerking him off, never breaking eye contact. “Suck me, princess.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, but you finally gave in to his desires, pulling away just enough so you could wrap your lips around the head of his dick. You sucked on it, hollowing your cheeks as you swirled your tongue on his frenulum. A satisfied smirk appeared on his lips, and it only encouraged you to take him in your mouth, going as far as you could without choking.

“Good girl”, he praised, eyes never blinking. No, he was drinking in the sight of you, and you could tell he needed more. But you wanted him too, so you obeyed. Shutting your eyes to focus on sucking him, using your tongue to pleasure him in time with your hand as you jerked off what didn’t fit in your mouth.

Taehyung grunted, hips bucking forward just a little, but you could tell he was restraining himself. He didn’t want to fuck your mouth. Probably because he wanted to fuck your pussy all night and needed all his energy for that. The thought made you moan around the length of his dick, and he grunted louder this time.

“Fuck.”

You moaned again, swallowing around his dick as you took it as deep as you could. This time, you choked around him, and tears formed behind your closed eyelids. He pulled on your hair, until your mouth was free of his dick.

“Princess.”

You opened your eyes, looking up at him as you kept slowly jerking him off.

“I can’t believe the only dick you’ve sucked is mine, you’re so good.”

The praise made you moan, and Taehyung pulled your hand away from his cock. You offered him a confused look, but he kneeled in front of you, capturing your lips in a heated kiss.

His hands were everywhere: on your sides, on your back, in your hair. They moved to the front of your body, grabbing your breasts, pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He pinched hard, enough to hurt, but it only made you soak your panties even more.

Taehyung knew you liked a little pain. And he knew just how to hurt you to please you.

He pulled away from the kiss, replacing one hand with his mouth. He sucked on your nipple, worshipping it with his tongue as you moaned, arching your back and losing your hands in his hair. He nibbled at the sensitive bud and you shook in his hold, pleasure already building up inside of you. He chose that moment to let the other hand wander down your body, and he struggled with the button of your pants for a few seconds before it came undone, letting him dive his hand in, until he was cupping your pussy.

“You’re dripping wet, aren’t you?” he said, pulling away from your breast long enough to meet your gaze. “You’re going to come in no time.”

As if he wanted to prove his words, he sucked on your nipple again, using his teeth just enough to cause that blissful pain you had grown accustomed to. You moaned as he started pressing circles on your clit, through the fabric of your panties. You grinded in his hand, and sure enough there already was an orgasm bubbling on the horizon of your conscience. It came to you fast, and right before it hit you, Taehyung pulled away, stopping his ministrations on your nipple and your clit.

You let out a pained whine at the denied orgasm, and your hand reached towards your clit in the hope that you could still hit your high. Taehyung stopped you, grabbing your wrists until you stopped resisting him.

“You’re going to come only when I tell you to come, alright?”

His baritone voice was even lower than it usually was. Filled with danger, and you nodded your head. You wanted to be a good girl for him, because you knew he always rewarded you with the best orgasms when you were.

You nodded. “Alright.”

“On your back”, he said, your favourite smirk back on his lips.

You obeyed, eyes never leaving his dark gaze. The fallen angel through and through, about to use your body for his sins.

You’d let him use your body for his sins for the rest of your life. He must have noticed the emotion move over your face, because he climbed on top of you, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. Your eyes fluttered shut, and he pressed a kiss on your two cheeks before landing one on your lips. You kissed him back, sighing against him as he grabbed your wrists gently, pulling them over your head.

“No touching, mmh?”

He had barely pulled away, and you kept your eyes closed as you replied. “You should tie me up.”

“Don’t be a brat today, princess”, he warned. “I just want to enjoy you, I don’t want to have to punish you.”

You gulped, before slowly nodding your head. “I won’t touch you.”

“Good girl.”

He moved down your body, and your eyes fluttered open to look at him. He took off your pants, bringing your underwear down at the same time. His eyes were staring right at your pussy, and had you not known any better, you would have closed your thighs to hide yourself from his view. But clearly Taehyung was in a mood, and you didn’t want to anger him.

The denied orgasm still hurt deep down in your core.

You had expected Taehyung to eat you out. And he almost did, blowing a breath on your pussy, but he kneeled between your legs instead, letting his cock rest on your pubis.

“I almost want to fuck you like that”, he let out. “You’d be so fucking tight.”

But it’d hurt. That much you knew. And you also knew Taehyung would never hurt you like that. Still, your eyes fluttered shut as he moved back, just enough for his dick to move towards your entrance.

“And you’d let me do it, wouldn’t you?”

You would. “Yes”, you breathed, because you knew he liked it when you were vocal.

“Good girl.” He ran his hands on your thighs, pulling your legs up until he had them rested on one of his shoulders. “I’ll still finger you first.”

He had barely said the words before two long digits slipped inside of you. You let out a moan as he immediately curled them to hit the spot inside of you that made you see stars. And he fingered you relentlessly, and hard, until you were a moaning mess under his skilled fingers.

“You can’t come yet, mmh?” he let out as your walls clenched around him. “Wait until I tell you, princess.”

“Tae”, you moaned, and your eyes fluttered open.

He smirked at you. “Hi there.”

“I want to come”, you complained.

He pressed a kiss on the side of one of your legs. “You can wait just a little longer for me, mmh?” He landed another kiss on your calf. “I want you to come around my dick.”

The orgasm was close, clinging to you, making you ache from head to toe. You held it in, focusing on the strands of hair in front of his eyes. It moved as he fingered you, and he had to blink to keep it from touching his eyes. But he wasn’t slowing down, pushing against your g-spot until your legs shook on his shoulder.

“Do you think you can take me now?” he asked.

“Yes, Tae”, you said breathlessly. “Please.”          

His finger left you empty, only to move up to your clit. He started drawing circles on it again, and you shuddered as he pushed his dick against your lips. He had barely pushed the head in when you let out a small cry.

“Just a little longer, princess”, he told you, with his baritone voice. It was soothing, somehow, but all your mind could do was focus on where he was stretching you wide open.

He slowly bottomed out, and it did hurt a little. Indeed, you were tight against him, tighter than you usually were. Because he usually took his time to spread you open before fucking his dick into you.

But he hadn’t been able to wait tonight, had he? You could understand why: he thought he had lost you. And you knew what that could do to a man. Fear was an ugly emotion, but it wasn’t really the time to think about that though.

“Tae, it hurts”, you whined.

He stopped moving his fingers on your clit, and you whined even louder. “You want to come?”

You nodded. “Yes.” There were tears in your eyes, from all the denying of your orgasm. You blinked them away frustratedly.

“Have I made you wait long enough?” he asked, and he started pulling out, ever so slowly.

“Fuck, Tae.”

“Such a pretty princess”, he praised. “You will come for me now, mmh?”

You moaned as he started moving his fingers on your clit again, with the perfect pressure. Your eyes fell shut, and your orgasm hit you as he thrusted all the way in again.

It was one of the best orgasms of your life. Blinding, deafening, muting. It took away all of your senses, and the only thing you could feel was the place where your bodies were connected. It was his fingers on you, and his dick inside of you. It was the clenching of your walls around his length, in time with every wave of your orgasm. And he worked you through it, never slowing down. Giving you what you had been denied for too long. He milked every last drop of it, and you were pretty sure you had squirted at the same time from the squelching sounds your pussy made as he kept fucking into you, slowly.

“Fuck”, you let out as his fingers finally left your clit.

“That felt good?”

A small laugh fell from your lips. “Fuck.”

It wasn’t just good. It was pure ecstasy, a drug that had ignited every single nerve ending in your body. All your senses came rushing back to you, and your eyes fluttered open to the sight of Taehyung gazing at you lovingly.

“You’re so beautiful when you come”, he said. He was hugging your legs to his chest, still fucking into you slowly.

“Tae…”

“I want to see you come every day”, he continued, ignoring the loving plea in your voice. “I want to feel you come every day.”

“You’re crazy”, you said, letting out another small laugh.

“Crazy for you”, he agreed.

And then he was fucking you again, chasing his own high. Holding your legs to hit that sensitive spot inside of you, until he chose to lean on top of you, kissing you as he slowed the rhythm. He made love to you for a while, your lips never parting for longer than a few seconds. Just long enough to suck in a much-needed breath, before he was kissing you again.

Taehyung hit his high a while later. While you were digging your nails in the skin of his back in an attempt to pull him closer. You wanted him closer, even if he was buried deep inside of you, reaching spots inside of you you didn’t even think he had reached before.

Taehyung painted the walls of your pussy white as he came, grunting against your lips as you kissed him through his orgasm. You were pretty sure he was whispering your name as he shook with the waves of his own high, and you only held him tighter, until he stopped moving altogether.

You remained unmoving for a time, save for the kiss that you didn’t want to let end. You wanted to kiss him until you would die, and he gave in. Kissed you back, poured his love for you in the muscles of his mouth. You ran a hand along his back, through his soft hair, before settling your arms around his neck.

“I love you”, you whispered as he pulled away to rest his forehead against yours.

He pecked your lips. “I love you too.” He went soft inside of you, yet he still didn’t pull out.

You only then realized that Yeontan was barking like crazy. “We should take care of your dog.”

Taehyung hid his face in your neck. “I don’t want to move.”

You laughed, hugging him close, even though he was crushing you a little. “I don’t want to be evicted.”

He raised his head to look at you. You read the words in his eyes before he even said them.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I won’t move in with you.”

He pouted, that same begging pout that could win wars for him. “Please?”

You couldn’t say no to him, could you?

“You really are crazy, aren’t you?”

He pecked your forehead. “How many times do I need to tell you that I’m crazy for you?”

 *****

 One year later

                 You looked at the pregnancy test in your lap. Though happy tears had been blurring your vision, there was no mistaking: you were pregnant.

You could hear Taehyung gaming from the bathroom, unaware that your lives were about to change. Unaware that in just under nine months you would welcome your first child. You had been trying for a couple of weeks now – now that you had finally decided to quit your job to raise your kids at home. Not that you had quit yet, you had decided to wait until you were married and pregnant before you did.

It seemed life had chosen for it to come sooner than later.

You blinked the tears away, letting out a small happy laugh. You imagined the child: would they look like Taehyung, with one double lid and a mono lid, or would they have your features? And their hands: their fingers would be so small, almost as tiny as grains of rice.

You couldn’t wait until you could hold those little hands in your own. For the moment, all you could do was land a hand on your lower stomach, stroking it gently. The next few weeks would be uncertain. You knew there was a possibility you would lose the baby, but something about the feeling bubbling in your chest reassured you.

There was a little bit of you and Taehyung, growing inside of you right now.

A happy tear rolled on your cheek and you wiped it with the back of your hand as you heard Taehyung cheer in his gaming room. He was playing Overwatch with Jungkook, and from what you could tell, they had just won a game.

You got up from the toilet seat, where you had anxiously waited for the results of the pregnancy test. It was your third time doing one, but the first time you had ever seen it positive. You clutched it to your chest, following Taehyung’s cheery voice as you made your way to his gaming room.

“We annihilated them”, Taehyung was saying. “Bro, I swear we could start a team.”

There was silence for a while, during which you assumed Jungkook was replying on his side of the call.

“I’m sure Jin-hyung would join.” It took a moment, but Taehyung burst out laughing, and the sound of his laugh brought a whole new grin to your lips.

He came to view, sitting in front of his gaming set-up. The only light in the room was coming from the two screens of his set-up, and he turned his head towards you as you walked into the room. Light flickered on his profile, and his mouth fell open as he noticed your teary-eyed smile.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

You let out a small happy sob.

“JK, I’ll be right back.”

He took off his headset, putting it down next to his keyboard before rolling away from the desk.

“Hey, princess, why are you crying?” he enquired as you remained silent.

You finished crossing the distance between you, handing him the pregnancy test. It took him a moment to connect the dots. But you had never seen anything as beautiful as Taehyung when he realized he was going to be a dad.

“You’re shitting me?” he said, eyes filling with tears.

You started crying again, shaking your head no. “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant?” His voice broke at the end, right as a blinding boxy grin split his face in half.

You nodded, and Taehyung jumped out of his chair to wrap his arm around you. He laughed and cried, and you held him close as you did the same. You didn’t think it was possible, but your love for him grew tenfold.

You were going to have a child. A little bit of the two of you.

“I can’t believe it”, he choked out through sobs. “We’re going to have a baby.”

You nodded again. “Our first one.”

“We need to get married”, he pointed out, pulling away from your embrace to look at your face.

You reached to dry the happy tears on his cheeks. “Should we get married before we tell the family?”

“I don’t know. Eunjin is going to be so happy”, Taehyung pointed out. “Your parents might be worried since we aren’t married though.”

You looked at him pointedly. “My parents adore you, they won’t give a shit.”

   “Do you want to get married right now?” he asked.

“Tonight?”

He let out a small laugh. “Tomorrow, I don’t care.”

“Didn’t we just say we could wait?”

Taehyung picked you up and spun you around once, before letting your feet meet the ground again. “I want to marry you.”

You laughed through the new wave of tears. “We can marry when the baby is born.”

His eyes widened. “We’re going to have a baby”, he repeated, tasting the words carefully on his tongue. “A little boy!”

You furrowed your brows. “Why not a little girl?”

“I want a boy first.”

“I want a girl.”

“You say that just to oppose me.”

He wasn’t wrong, and you shrugged sheepishly, letting out another laugh.

“I fucking love you, you know that?” He pressed a kiss to your lips as if to give emphasis to his words. You kissed him back, but he pulled away after a few seconds. “I need to tell JK.”

“You didn’t mute yourself.”

He hadn’t had time to. You were pretty sure you could hear Jungkook screaming on his side of the Discord call.

“Aish”, Taehyung let out, and you shared a laugh as he moved towards his set-up. He grabbed the headset, putting it over his head. “Shut up, JK, I’m back.”

Taehyung nodded, as if his friend could see him.

“Yes.” He waited for a time, then nodded again. “Let me give the headset to her, I’m pretty sure she can answer herself.”

Taehyung took it off, handing it to you. You cocked an eyebrow in confusion, but still walked towards him, grabbing the headset and putting it on.

“What’s up?” you asked.

“Can I be the godfather?” Jungkook asked – or rather screamed – through his mic.

You winced at how loud Taehyung’s friend was. “Jesus Christ, I’m pretty sure my ears are bleeding now.”

“Can I?” Jungkook asked again, with a little voice that resembled that of a child himself.

“That’s a lot of responsibility”, you pointed out.

There was shuffling on Jungkook’s side, and then his girlfriend started talking. “Y/n, I swear to God if you say no to him I am going to tattoo you in your sleep.”

“You wouldn’t dare”, you said, pouting, but you already had a smile on your lips.

Taehyung and you had decided a while ago who were going to be the godparents. Eunjin and Jungkook. It was the easiest choice you had made about deciding to have a child together.

“Give me Jungkook back”, you told your friend.

She let out an excited yelp. “Hold on.”

It took a few seconds, but then Jungkook’s voice filled your ears again. “So?”

“Yes, you’re going to be the godfather, dumbass.”

Taehyung was smiling lovingly at you. He wrapped his arms around your middle, resting his head on your shoulder. You turned to look at him, offering him a lovesick smile.

“Thank you thank you thank you”, Jungkook kept repeating in his mic. “I promise I’ll be the…“ His words were cut off. “Ouch, that hurt.”

You heard his girlfriend’s iconic laugh and your smile only grew bigger.

You loved these people far too much for your own good.

“But JK?” you said as you listened to him bickering with his girlfriend.

The bickering ended, and he let out an, “Uh?”

“Please don’t tell the others for now. Just in case something happens.”

“I promise”, Jungkook said, voice filled with emotions. “Our lips are sealed.”

You smiled and then took off the headset. You handed it to Taehyung, and he took it with his bright, teary eyes. He put it back on, before sitting in his chair. He and Jungkook chatted for a while, and you sat on Taehyung, resting your head against his chest. You listened to his heartbeat as he ran a hand on your back, the other having found a home on your lower stomach.

As if he’d feel the baby kicking already.

Taehyung’s heartbeat was steady. A rhythm you had grown to know by heart, a melody that accompanied the nights when you couldn’t sleep. Your lips stretched into a smile at the thought that many sleepless nights were to come. But you could take a thousand of them if it meant building a family with Taehyung.

After all, you had always been crazy for him too.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

So, what do we think? One hell of a journey isn’t it? I hope you enjoyed it <3

Don’t hesitate to leave feedback by following this link! It always helped to keep motivated into writing more!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts 2023

Taglist:

@chimchimmarie​ | @pamzn​ |

#crazy for you #kth smut #kim taehyung smut #taehyung smut #kth fluff #kth angst #kth x reader #kth x you #kth fanfiction #kth fanfic #kth fic #kim taehyung angst #kim taehyung fluff #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x you #kim taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung fic #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fic #life goes on series

[sweetlyskz]

Emerald Gem||Chapter Four

Chapter one|Chapter two|Chapter three|Chapter four|Chapter five|Chapter six|

Pairing: Hybrid!OT7 x fem!reader

Overview: Living away from society has its perks. All natural food from your thoroughly cultivated farm, no nosy neighbors, and peace and security with your animals. But sometimes you did get lonely, having no one the talk to but the pigs. However, when 7 extremely wanted hybrids stable upon your deserted farm, everything changes.

Genre: Hybrid Au, Strangers to lovers, slow burn, smut, fluff

Warnings: Suggestive themes, language, mentions of abuse and trauma

Word count: 1.4k

Unedited

Little hops make their way to your bedroom door. Your personal alarm clock. Slowly, the door opens and a ball of fur jumps on your bed, tapping your leg with its foot.

"a couple more minutes please", you groaned, flipping your pillow to the other side. The bunny huffed, tugging on the blanket. He continued to kick until you gave in.

"Fine, c'mere Koo..." his face beamed. As soon as you sat up, leaning against your wooden bed frame, Jungkook hopped in your lap and rolled over.

You happily gave him what he wanted, gently rubbing his belly and patting his head. "Are you gonna do this every morning?"

The bunny shook his head and put his paw on your hand, never wanting it to leave his fur.

"Alright, enough. I have to make breakfast", you said, scooping him up in your arms and heading downstairs. He blissfully laid his head in the crook of your neck, enjoying the ride.

Downstairs was quiet, a little too quiet. Usually, the guys always woke up before you, shifting into their animal form. However it seemed no one was here. "Kook, where is everyone?"

He shrugged. You put him down so he could take a look around, but something told you they weren't far. Then you heard a couple of coughs come from their bedroom. You knocked on the door lightly.

"Come in", you heard a hoarse voice say. The door slowly creeked open.

"Oh-"

Joon, Jin and Yoongi were laid on the bed, flat on their backs. Jimin and Tae sat uselessly on the couch and used tissue paper all over the floor.

"Hey, Y/n", Jimin smiled weakly. His voice was raspy, scratchy. The others looked pale, like they had just seen a ghost. Jimin however, was red as a tomato. He was burning up.

"You guys..." you pouted. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?"

Jin tried to get up but the pack leader quickly eased him back in bed. "Didn't wanna bother you... it's nothing, really."

You walked around the room, picking the tissues up off the floor and into the trash. "This looks like something, Joon! When did it start?"

"...A couple days ago, maybe?"

"A couple days! You guys waited a couple days to tell me you were sick?"

Taehyung raised his hand. "Actually, we weren't gonna tell you at all but-"

"That doesn't make anything better, Tae", Someone said, sounded like Hobi.

"...Hoseok?" He wasn't on the bed and he wasn't on the couch...

After some searching you found him in the bathroom, laying on the cold floor tiles. He had a roll of toilet paper in one hand and a thermometer in the other.

"I'm alright", he promised. "Feeling better already. I was actually gonna-"

"No. I don't want to hear anymore", you shook your head, grabbing Hobi and helping him to the bed. It looked like a storm had hit their room. For a good minute, you stared, wondering why in the world they couldn't come to you. Maybe they weren't as comfortable as you thought. Maybe they still didn't trust you. They all falter under your gaze. They're not sure why but every time you stare at them with those eyes that light up the room, they falter.

You don't seem to notice it though.

"We're so sorry! We'll get better", Tae pleaded.

The packer leader vouched for him and the others. "It's my fault. I wasn't paying attention. I swear, we are really feeling better."

Now you're the one that doesn't feel well. You're the one feeling sick to your stomach. Not for the same reason they do, but because they easily sit and lie to your face.

You hate lying.

"How do you guys do that?"

"Do what?" They all tensed, in hopes of the worse. Everything was going well- at least you thought so. Can a little thing like this really mess everything up for them?

"How can you guys be in pain, physical and mental pain... and lie about it?" You were confused. You were fed up. You had questions, and needed answers. You just wanted to be trusted for once in your life. "You know what? Don't even answer that. I'll be back with some soup and hot tea. Don't move."

***

With anger, you cut the carrots. With hurt, you chopped the celery. And with love, you made the noodles, shaping each dumpling into a heart. Cooking was a big stress reliever for you. Luckily, you have seven more mouths to feed, They could keep you cooking for the rest of your life- if they decide to stay.

As you stir the pot, you think. It's what you're best at, besides cooking. Your mind moves a mile a minute. And right now, your mind was telling you somethings off. Something is wrong.

"Y/n?" Jungkook, now in his human form, shuffled behind you nervously.

"Yes? Are you not feeling well?" You put your hand to his forehead to see if he had a fever. He then moved your hand to his cheek instead, pushing his face into your palm for comfort.

"I'm sorry", he whispered. "For not telling you about the others. I didn't want to betray my pack. I t-tried go get them to tell you but they can be stubborn sometimes.

You sighed. "I know, and it's okay. Don't worry your pretty little head, okay?" You took your hand away, earning a whine from kook, and patted his head.

You filled six bowls with chicken noodle soup and brought it to their room, with the help of Jungkook. They scarfed down every last drop, leaving nothing in the bowl. Then you brought them each an herb tea with honey. One by one, you went around the room, checking their temperature and looking for anything serious.

"Okay, I'll be tending to the garden. Kook, they stay in bed at all times. Come get me if you need something." Jungkook shook his head, ready to complete any task you assign him. As soon as you left, the room was more relaxed, but a cloud still loomed over them.

"We messed up", Yoongi confessed. "She must feel like we don't trust her."

"We don't. We don't trust her." Joon's voice was stern, assertive. It made the others cower in fear- except the youngest. Jin hoped to settle the pack leader before the conversation turned sour.

"Namjoon, please don't start-"

"I don't trust her! You know what she might do to us knowing we're sick!" He tried to get up from the bed but Yoongi quickly laid him back down.

"She's not like that", Jungkook seethed. "If you just got the chance to know her, you would know that. You're too busy comparing her to the researchers to realize that she's nothing like them!"

"Kook, wait-"

"Jungkook is right", Jimin agreed. "It's never gonna get better than her. I... I want to stay."

Namjoon was practically fuming by now. "You want to what?" Jin took it upon himself to calm Him down, whispering sweet nothings. But the others had no intentions of stopping.

"Y/n has been nothing but sweet to us. I-I mean she is really just trying to understand and get to know us. Why can't you just do the same?"

It was a question that Namjoon didn't have the answer to. Why couldn't he just give in? Why couldn't he at least put in a little effort? He didn't know, but he just knew it couldn't happen...

"Everyone pack your things. We're leaving."

***

For dinner you made all of their favorites. In your family, it was a way to apologize, to make amends. For you, it was a way to start friendships-- and say sorry. You may have been a little harsh on them, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Dinner's ready!" You took your usual spot at the table and waited for the others to come. Once they sit down and eat, then you make your plate.

A few minutes had passed with you sitting at the table. No one left the room. Actually, the house was unusually quiet.

"Guys? The food is gonna get cold!" Maybe they're too weak to get out of bed, you thought.

You knocked on the bedroom door as to not invade their privacy. With no answer, you knocked one more time before opening the door.

"Oh, god-"

They were gone, vanished. It looked like they were never even there. After a while of staring at the empty room, your rumbling stomach told you to come back to the dinner table. Sitting in the dining room, eating Tae's favorite Mac &cheese, you pondered.

I'm alone, you thought. I'm all alone again...

-

-

Taglist!!

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#kpop #bts #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts x reader #kpop smut #bts smut #kim seokjin #park jimin #bts series #kim namjoon #bts jhope #bts fic #bts ot7 #poly!bts x reader #poly ot7 #bts x y/n #bts x fem!reader #kim taehyung #bts jimin #bts taehyung #ot7 x reader #min yoongi x y/n #bts fanfction #jeon jungguk #jung hoseok #bts yoongi #min suga #kpop imagines

[borathae]

“They’ve seen the centuries come and go, watched empires rise and fall and witnessed the creation of society as it is today. And now you have fallen into their arms, showing them once again that change never stops.”

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Smut, Hurt and Comfort, Vampire!AU, Magic!AU, Polyamory!AU

“You change universities after moving towns. Your new university is an old, ancient building with secret tunnels and whispered ghost stories. There are two fraternities, which for some reason always seem to be in a quarrel. Alpha consisting of Kim Taehyung, Kim Namjoon, Park Jimin and Min Yoongi. Handsome, porcelain skinned men, who act as if they are out of another century and for some reason everyone on campus seems to be scared of. And Sanguis consisting of Jeon Jungkook, Kim Seokjin and Jung Hoseok. Men with skin just as pale and their faces just as beautiful, who always wear sunglasses when it is light outside and who never seem to open their curtains. And for some peculiar reason you always find yourself in the middle of them….”

Pairing: OT7 x f.Reader with main Taehyung x f.Reader & Yoongi x f.Reader

Genre: Mystery, Fantasy, Romance, Smut, University!AU, Vampire!AU

~ To Book One ~

“When your endless game of hide and seek with Namjoon sends your little group all over Europe, you have to fight more than just vengeful witches and bloodthirsty demons. Different morals, beliefs and mindsets bring just as much struggle to your bond as your enemies. And soon you have to accept that the world you decided to live in is darker than you initially prepared for.”

Pairing: Yoongi x f.Reader, Taehyung x f.Reader & Jungkook x f.Reader + more as the story progresses

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Smut, Vampire!AU, Magic!AU

~ To Book Two ~

#01 - What You Deserve [YG x JK]

#02 - The Piano Teacher [YG x OC]

#03 - Only For You ([YG x OC]

#04 - Mellifluous [TH x OC]

#05 - Safe Hands [YG x OC]

#06 - Rache [TH x JK]

#07 - Captured [YG x OC]

#08 - Illecebra [TH x OC] ​

#09 - How I Love You [YG x OC]

#10 - Stormy Nights [YG x OC]

#11 - Of Simpler Times [TH x JM]

#12 - Best Seat [YG x OC]

#13 - Deep [JK]

#14 - Painted Blue [TH x OC]

#15 - Drunk on You [YG x OC]

#16 - I Want Your Love Forever [YG x OC]

#17 - Between Friends [YG x HS]

#18 - Bed Head [JK x OC]

#19 - Don’t Tease Please [JK x OC]

#20 - Fade into You [YG x OC]

#21 - Rope Bunny [YG x OC]

#22 - Lavender Warmth [YG x OC]

#23 - The Scholar, The Princess and the Master [YG x OC x JK]

#24 - Picnics [YG x OC x JK]

#25 - Where Love Is [YG x OC]

#26 - Wake Up Call [YG x OC]

#27 - Devotion [TH x OC]

#28 - Bewitched [YG x OC]

#29 - wanna see myself inside you [JK x OC]

#30 - Princess Treatment [YG x OC]

#31 - Guilty Tears [TH x OC]

#32 - Moonlight & Campsites [YG x OC]

#33 - ILY [YG x OC]

#34 - Morning Hours [JK x OC]

#35 - Silly Fights [YG x OC]

#36 - Carefree [YG x TH]

#37 - Cozy Times [YG x OC]

#38 - Drive You Fucking Crazy [TH x OC]

#39 - FWB [HS x OC]

#40 - A Good Life [YG x OC]

#41 - Impatient [JK x TH]

#42 - Love Wins All [TH x OC]

#43 - Cozy [YG x OC]

#44 - Listen In [HS x JK x TH]

#bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts scenario #bts x reader #bts x you #vampire!bts #bangtan fanfic #bangtan fanfiction #bangtan scenario #bangtan x reader #bangtan x you #vampire!bangtan #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #vampire!yoongi #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #vampire!taehyung #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #vampire!jungkook #hoseok fanfic #vampire!hoseok #jimin fanfic #vampire!jimin #seokjin fanfic #vampire!seokjin #namjoon fanfic #vampire!namjoon #fanfic: sanguis duology

[ugh-yoongi]

about u | jjk

❝ this song is about a love that you can’t reconcile—wanting to make a home out of a person that has proved to you time and again that they are not a home; they are just a person. it’s about retracing scars, negative patterns, all with the silent belief that moments of communion and understanding might justify months of misfiring and regret. we’re all just trying to get back to that ‘first high’ feeling—an honest endeavor, however futile. ❞

✤ PAIRING jungkook x f. reader ✤ GENRE exes to fwb to strangers, college/grad school au; angst, smut ✤ RATING explicit. minors do not interact. ✤ WARNINGS toxic & self-destructive behavior (inc. jealousy and possessiveness). infidelity (with an external partner). reader is bisexual (which is not a warning but a general statement so the homophobes stay away) and there is a brief mention of coming out. two people who are both too honest and unable to communicate. swearing. cigarettes and alcohol use. kissing, some spitting, fingering, oral sex, protected vaginal sex. every time i asked jess to read this over for me she always came back with "jfc jewel" so i guess this is angsty. unhappy ending. ✤ WORDCOUNT 7.3k ✤ LISTEN TO this was based off of "winterbreak" by muna, but there are bits and pieces of the entire about u album in here, "everything" and "outro" especially. ✤ THANK YOU to muna for writing the album, @the-boy-meets-evil and @hot-soop for reading over this for me multiple times and putting up with all my brainstorming and my beloved @here2bbtstrash for the extra set of eyes. ✤ AUTHOR'S NOTE hi, thank you for reading! i cannot emphasize enough how much more sense this story will make if you listen to about u in the background. i would also like to reiterate that these two are maybe not all that likeable most of the time, but i hope they're still human. as i once saw in an ao3 tag, you are more than the worst thing you've ever done.

[ the first. ] You’d read an article once—something about the second time you fall in love.

It’s going to feel different, it’d said. The first time felt like a dream.

As you stare across the kitchen at Jeongguk, you think that might be true. The part about it feeling like a dream, because it used to be a pinky-lavender haze and everything that has come after hasn’t felt so good. Not a nightmare, but close. At least with nightmares you can force yourself awake. You can tell yourself it wasn’t real. You can pretend.

This is as real as it gets, watching him smile over the rim of a plastic red cup. Someone else’s hand on his arm. The girl it belongs to looks nothing like you, and you wonder if she’ll be the second time he falls in love. You also wonder why you didn’t stay home. You wonder about fault and regret and if either of them even matter. No, you eventually decide: there’s just you in Taehyung’s kitchen and Jeongguk on the other side of it and the result of a million decisions in between you.

There had been a plenitude of reasons you’d fallen in love with Jeongguk, but he’s undoubtedly beautiful. Soft, tinkling laugh; a smile that reaches his eyes. Not all that long ago you used to be responsible for both, so there’s a lingering, bitter sting beneath your wonder. Jeongguk is beautiful and no longer yours, and that’s enough to have you retreating to the living room.

Jimin’s at your side immediately. Wraps an arm around your shoulders and presses a kiss to the top of your head that does little to alleviate your guilt. Missing someone is always easier with thousands of miles in between you. All those distractions. Just like a nightmare, distance lets you pretend. Not so easy to do when all those ghosts come back to haunt you; when you can still hear Jeongguk’s soft voice in the kitchen. The music is so loud but you’d be able to hear him anywhere, you think.

Even places he’s not.

Jimin leans down, forces his way into your personal space. “Are you doing okay?” he asks, and his words are warm and wrapped in alcohol, but you nod. You’re scared you might start crying if you open your mouth. Afraid of what might come out besides shuddering breaths, which just makes you feel stupid. Baby’s first breakup, you chide yourself. Maybe Jimin can get you a commemorative ornament.

Taehyung is turning twenty-four and it should be joyous. It is joyous. People that aren’t you are laughing and dancing and pressing their cheeks together as they huddle close to take selfies. Someone you don’t recognize is cackling wildly as they wrangle Taehyung into a headlock and smear cake frosting on his face. Someone else is tutting and running a rag under the tap to wipe it off and then the frosting is gone. It’s hard not to draw parallels.

There one minute and gone the next.

Gently wiped away.

But the feeling lingers, doesn’t it? The tack of the frosting, all the love that transpired between you and Jeongguk. Sometimes you fear it’s permanent—not able to be wiped away with a rag run under the tap, not able to be wiped away at all. Just this burden you’re cursed to carry, because Jeongguk isn’t and can’t be yours but knowing does nothing to erase the past. Doesn’t help you forget. It’s fucked and it’s unfair, but that’s just the way it goes.

“I think I should leave,” you say, watching another scene play out in the kitchen. Jeongguk fills a cup and hands it to a different pretty girl. Everyone here is so pretty. Makes sense; so is Taehyung. Pretty people are drawn to one another like that. “Is it too soon? Will it be obvious?”

Jimin sighs, wraps you in a hug. Says, “Oh, love,” in a way that’s too sympathetic. Makes you sound too pathetic. “No one will blame you. These things are hard.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. Not that you don’t appreciate Jimin’s reassurance, but sometimes it all feels a bit silly. Weren’t you the one to walk away? Call it off? Are you allowed to mourn the very thing you destroyed?

And Jimin, bless him, is so patient with you. Asks if you need a ride home and you wave him off, remind him your parents’ place isn’t far, that the cold might do you some good. You tell him you appreciate him and his night shouldn’t be ruined on your account, and you just laugh when he tries to protest, tell him to go get himself another drink.

“Text me when you get home,” he says, voice stern, and you brush that off, too. “I’m serious. It’s late and it’s dark and anyone could be out there—”

“Maybe I should walk you home, then?”

All those articles you read about the second time you fall in love didn’t mention this. Said nothing about the way a voice will always be able to turn your world on its axis and how to right it again. Said nothing about how to coexist with ghosts. Said nothing about what to do with all the yearning and the pain and the stupid, selfish strands of hope. There are paragraphs about an overarching, general grief, but nothing about the specific one living inside of you.

The shock on Jimin’s face is reflecting your own. It’s nice to not be the only one caught off-guard and stammering over their words. It’s nice to have a friend when it feels like your entire world is on the edge of collapse. “I don’t…” he begins. Swallows thickly and turns to look at you, an obvious question biting at the back of his teeth.

You know the answer.

You know that what you should say isn’t what you want, just like you know it isn’t fair, this thing you’re doing. Because you turn to Jeongguk and say, “Are you sure?” which might as well be a yes, because you’re selfish and suspended in this liminal space and don’t want him to go home with anyone else. You don’t want him to move on.

He shrugs. “It’s on the way.”

You say okay. Let Jimin help you into your coat, hide his face in your neck as he tells you to be careful, and that stings. You’ve never had to be careful around Jeongguk before. The two of you never, ever hurt one another—until you did. The kind of hurt your heart hasn’t easily forgotten, is still stubbornly clinging to.

Your heart wants Jeongguk, always.

You want Jeongguk, always, so you let him grab your hand, link your pinkies together. You let him lead you out of the house and don’t turn back to see who might be watching. God, you want to, though. Want all those pretty girls to see that he’s leaving with you. Want them to know it’s your name that’s branded on his heart; your name beneath his skin. For once, you want someone to want what you have.

It’s strange. The two of you have been apart for eight months, and there’s a lot of things you might want to tell someone in that amount of time, but you find it hard now. Don’t know where to start, which words to use. Don’t want to say something stupid, because Jeongguk is just walking you home but you’ve assigned a lot of meaning to it, and eight months is a long time to yearn for something and finally get it.

So you say, “You didn’t have to do this, you know,” because it’s something that’s true and easy to say.

Jeongguk doesn’t answer right away. Drops your pinky so he can hold your hand properly—fully, all five fingers intertwined—and squeezes. “Is it weird for you?” he asks, and he doesn’t sound nervous. Almost sounds like he’s smiling a little, giving you shit. He sounds familiar.

“No. I don’t know. Maybe a little.” He asks why? at the same time he passes under a streetlight. Lights up golden and amber. He’s beautiful—“I don’t know. It’s just… I guess it’s just been a long time. We didn’t leave things the best.”—and no longer yours.

The Jeongguk walking beside you is not the same Jeongguk that walked out of your dorm eight months ago, tears staining his cheeks, the smell of a goodbye fuck still clinging to his clothes, his skin, sweat still dotting his hairline. This Jeongguk is sharper, more selfish with his laughter, and you wonder about all the ways heartbreak can change a person. How you’re changed for facilitating it. You wonder if Jeongguk blames you before deciding you’re too much of a coward to find out the answer.

“Was it that bad?” When you look over at him, he’s chewing on his lip ring, trying to bite back a smile. “You’ll have to remind me. I don’t remember.”

You stop walking, jerking forward when Jeongguk is left unaware and keeps going. “That’s not funny,” you say. “Jeongguk, that’s not—I did what I thought was best, okay? I thought I was doing the right thing—”

The smile drops from Jeongguk’s face. “Hey, hey, look at me,” he says, and he’s hesitant to reach out and touch you but he does it anyway. Cups your face in both hands. “I know, it’s okay. That’s just—it’s just life, right? You did what you had to do, babe. It’s okay.”

You did what you had to do, babe.

Did you?

Jeongguk is selfish with his laughter but never his affection, and knowing that feels like an albatross around your neck. You have broken him so entirely, but he’s still kind to you, finds it a worthwhile thing to be.

His eyes go to your lips. Tattooed fingers dimple your face just a little more, dig in deeper. When you dare to take him in, he looks… different. No longer amused, the way he was just seconds ago; now, there’s something dark there. Longing, anger, hunger. Jeongguk looks like he wants to swallow you whole and make you suffer; looks like he wants to cage you beneath him and worship you through the comedown.

I’d let him, you think as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. As you smell the smoke that lingers, the sweat and the alcohol. I’d still let him.

It’d be so easy to press a kiss there. To feel his skin beneath your lips: flushed, still warm from the party, not all daunted by the bitter winter wind biting at your cheeks. As you lean in further, you wonder if it’ll taste the same. You wonder how much can change in eight months and if all those old comforts change, too. If it’s something inevitable.

Jeongguk moves his hands to your waist. Crawls his fingertips beneath your jacket and finds bare skin. Sucks in the smallest bit of air, and you would’ve missed it had it been any other time, but winter is always quiet and subdued. Always smells transitional, something dangerously close to hope and redemption.

And eight months is a long time to miss the feel of someone’s lips, isn’t it, so you think you can be excused for reaching for something you thought you’d never have again.

The first kiss is hesitant, testing; pressed to the spot just beneath his ear. Maybe you don’t know this Jeongguk, but you know the version of him you used to love—the one you still do—and you know the way he’ll sigh. You know the way his hands will grip tighter. You can still hear it, the way you used to kiss him there and he’d say, don’t start something you can’t finish, baby, and the way you’d laugh and always, always finish it. Can still feel the warmth that used to bloom in your chest. The love.

Jeongguk won’t say that now, you know. Wonder if it’d sound more like don’t start something you already finished if he did. He huffs a small laugh, more an exhale than anything, and asks, “What are you doing?”

And you answer, “I don’t know,” because it’s honest. You admit, “I guess I just miss you,” because it’s true.

A war wages within Jeongguk. You can see the storms, the white flags that are close to being thrown out. Can see the way his gaze flits between your lips and your eyes. What he’s looking for, you don’t know, but the storm rages on. And just like real life, just when you think it’s at its worst, there’s a break in the clouds: a tangible beam of silvery-warm light when Jeongguk tangles his hands in your hair, thumbs at the hinge of your jaw. Jeongguk tilts your head back and looks ethereal in the amber glow of the streetlights.

He says, “We shouldn’t,” and you nod, because you know and the anguish on his face is surely mirrored on yours, but when he follows it with, “let me take you home, let me take care of you,” you find it impossible to care.

You nod.

Everything is amber.

Eight months is a long time to go without the way Jeongguk kisses you: intentionally, demandingly, insatiably. He still tastes the same. Tastes like the first time you’d ever dared to kiss him, back at that party freshman year, tongue flavored with cheap liquor. Jeongguk tastes forbidden and feels like coming home.

You couldn’t say how you make it to Jeongguk’s apartment, but the way you stumble over the threshold feels familiar. The way the door is barely locked when Jeongguk crowds your space; picks you up, wraps your legs around his waist, presses you against it, hips moving on their own accord, rutting, all those little sounds spilling from his lips—everything is familiar. This is not just a practiced song and dance but something memorized. Something instinctual. You could be apart from Jeongguk for years instead of months and your body would still know what to do.

He carries you to his bedroom and you don’t think about who else has been between his sheets, because he puts you down so gently. Kisses your lips, your jaw, your neck—all gentle, powder-soft. Sounds like spring when you paw at the velvety cashmere of his sweater, pull it over his head, and he sighs. Feels like he’s breathing fresh life into something he shouldn’t, something long dead, but then you skim along his warm skin and your world is reduced to the way it feels like silk beneath your fingertips.

“I still love you,” Jeongguk whispers against your mouth, his inked fingers toying with the button on your jeans. Pops it open, pulls the denim down your thighs. Doesn’t bother pulling them off, only goes as far as your knees. And it’s uncomfortable, the way it’s bunched there, but the way Jeongguk says, “Fuck, missed you so much,” is so sweet.

Everything happens too fast.

Jeongguk leaves your shirt on. Drags it up and over your breasts and kisses at the newly-exposed skin. Sinks his teeth in, lets it hurt for a second before he laves over the marks. Settles between your legs and coaxes an orgasm out of you with his mouth and his fingers. Speaks his praise into the juncture of your thigh, breathless as he touches himself, strokes his cock with the wetness lingering on his fingers. Looks so, so pretty when he sits back on his haunches and says, “Just wanna look at you,” and makes it sound wistful and longing.

Makes it sound like it means something.

He’s still touching himself, still slicking himself up. There’s a split second where he goes to move and thinks better of it. Looks to the side before looking back at you. The storm kicks up again. “Have—” he begins before he swallows thickly. Dares to look hopeful, even through the squall. “Have you been with anyone else? Since…?”

You haven’t. Tried to, once—another stupid party, more cheap liquor passed to your mouth from someone else’s, but it hadn’t gone anywhere. They hadn’t tasted like Jeongguk; hadn’t felt the same. Two puzzle pieces that fit together all wrong.

Jeongguk has, though. Something you’d heard from a friend of a friend that you weren’t meant to. They’d called it a rebound, and it had bloomed so many ugly thoughts in your head. Five months had passed. Jeongguk was fucking someone else in his bed while you were in yours, torturing yourself over whether or not to tell him happy birthday. Whether it was allowed to or not, it’d stung.

(You had. You’d reworded the text a million times, plucked up all the courage you could find before you sent it. It’d gone unanswered, just like you expected it would, and you thought it was because Jeongguk didn’t want to talk to you. Thought you were digging your fingers into wounds that had yet to heal, so it’d stung but you understood.

But Jeongguk hadn’t answered because he was fucking someone else. Had someone else’s taste on his tongue; was panting someone else’s name into the dark. The embarrassment had been the worst part.)

Still does, if you’re being honest with yourself, so you lie. “I—yeah,” you answer. “Just one.”

Looks like it stings Jeongguk, too. “Right,” he responds, blinking back tears, and he’s got a lot of nerve, you think. “Yeah, okay, I’ll just—a condom. Are you…”

“Jeongguk—”

“Are you sure? Maybe this isn’t…” He huffs. Drops the condom on the bed, hangs his head. “What are we doing?”

You stare up at the ceiling. Nothing up there but the swirls in the plaster. “I don’t know,” you admit. “Hurting each other, probably.”

Jeongguk walks his fingers down your thigh. Grips at your skin, wants it to bruise. Wants you to have something to remember him by come morning. “Sometimes I’m really mad at you, you know?”

“Yeah, trust me, I know.”

He nods. Refuses to look you in the eye now that you’re watching him. “I still love you so fucking much and I’m still so angry. What am I supposed to do with that? What am I… fuck, I thought I was over it. I thought I’d see you and not feel a fucking thing.” There’s fresh ink on the back of his left hand. You hadn’t noticed it earlier, but you notice it now, when he runs his hands down his face.

You also notice the way the atmosphere shifts, the split second in which his heartache bleeds into something else—resolve, maybe. Obstinacy. Like he knows how this is going to end and he’s going to do it anyway. He’s going to find the most painful part and press on it, dig his fingers in, and it’s just an inevitable, foregone thing. Something he can prevent and something he’s choosing not to.

“You fucked someone else,” he sneers. Rips the foil open with his teeth, flashing too white in the dark of his bedroom. Rolls the condom on like it’s an inconvenience. Like you’re an inconvenience. “Was it good? Was it worth it?”

You roll your eyes. Feel the way your breath catches in your throat, because you’re not going to cry. Jeongguk fucked someone else and is vilifying you and it’s hypocritical and ugly and unfair, but you’re not going to cry over it. You’re going to press the gas pedal as far as it can go, say, “Yeah, it was,” and find some wicked delight in the way his eyes squeeze shut, as if it can spare him from the pain.

The two of you used to love each other. Jeongguk used to smile down at you when you were naked beneath him like this. Used to lean in close and whisper that he loved you just as he pushed inside even though you knew, you could feel it in everything he did. Now, there’s no smile. Now, he leans down and spits on your pussy and pushes inside and doesn’t tell you a goddamn thing.

Not with words, anyway.

Because the way he fucks you says it all. Impersonal, desperate, bitter. He grips your hips and fucks into you frenzied and fast. Takes your hand and puts it on your clit and tells you to get yourself off. An inconvenience. Tells you he misses your tight cunt, tells you he misses the way it milks his cock, tells you he misses watching the way you come undone underneath him, but he doesn’t tell you he misses you.

There’s a moment, just after he spills into the condom and stays inside, just catching his breath, when you think he might say it. Might tell you he loves you around the lump in his throat, might apologize, might ask if you two can’t figure it out.

There’s only a moment.

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything. Lets the moment pass. Pulls out and ties off the condom and wordlessly gets up to throw it away. It’s the silence that pisses you off. The disregard. Jeongguk hates you for something you’d lied about doing that he’d done for real, so you can be wordless, too. You can treat him like an inconvenient, cheap fuck, too. You can get up and find your clothes and pull them on and let him watch, words biting at the back of his teeth, and you can tell yourself to feel nothing.

You can say, “You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve,” and not shy away from the resentment in your voice, because it’s properly placed. “You fucked someone else, too, so you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve, Jeongguk.”

Eight months is a long time to miss someone, to play at daydreams. To think of all the things you want to say, the things you’ll do. In not one of them did you think about this: you, fully dressed and stinking of sex, saying, “It’s late. I’ll show myself out.”

Jeongguk, tears glistening on his cheeks, saying, “No, let me—baby, I’m sorry, please—I’ll drive you.”

A shake of your head. Jeongguk doesn’t push it.

Roll credits.

[ the second. ] Jimin wants to talk your ear off about it—the girl you’re seeing.

It’s new and there isn’t much to say. You tell him the two of you met at one of the student showcases put on by the art department and leave off the part about all of Jeongguk’s old friends being there, that he would’ve participated, too, if he hadn’t dropped out after you broke his heart. Leave off the part where you would’ve been there to support him instead, in another life. Leave off the part where it’d just been morbid curiosity: you, not an art student, wandering those halls to see if Jeongguk’s photographs were still framed on the wall.

“Is she nice?” Jimin asks, head nearly knocking into yours as someone shoves by him. “Fucking asshole.”

You nod. “Why would I date someone that wasn’t nice?”

Jimin, perpetually unbothered until he decidedly isn’t, sends you a look that he hides behind the rim of his cup. “Because you’re in your self-destruction era and aren’t thinking clearly.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“Exactly what I said. You know I’m happy if you’re happy, but…” He pauses as he trails off. Tries to wrap his words in something delicate. “It’s pretty clear you still aren’t over it. That’s all.”

You snort. “That’s all?” you repeat, like it’s some small thing. Like it’s normal and fine.

“I’m sure it’s easier to pretend when the two of you are thousands of miles apart,” Jimin amends, and he must see how you bristle, stung by the callout, because his eyes soften. “Tell me about her.”

She’s beautiful and kind and smart. Smokes clove cigarettes and the smell is always clinging to her skin. You know how to make her come but don’t know what she’s majoring in—fashion, you think, because she’s always holding fabric swatches against your skin. Tells you what suits you and what doesn’t. Tells you which textures don’t work, what’s too warm, and she doesn’t need to tell you what’s too cold because you already know it’s you.

She’s beautiful and kind and smart and has no idea you’re still in love with someone else.

But you can’t tell Jimin that, can you? Can’t tell him about how she’d dragged you to a private corner in the gallery and kissed you breathless; the way she made you come on her fingers; the way Jeongguk’s name nearly slipped out of your mouth as you shook. Can’t tell him that she’s got arms full of art. Delicate patchwork; nothing like the harsh, bold colors inked into Jeongguk’s skin, but it feels the same to trace the lines.

You can’t tell him much of anything, so what you settle on is, “She’s nice—good for me,” and it doesn’t sound convincing to either of you.

Jimin doesn’t call you on it, though. Not again. Instead, he keeps his gaze steady, staring into the fire, the flames dancing wildly when you meet his eye. “You need to be careful,” he says. “You’re going to hurt her, too. Maybe worse than you hurt him.”

“Jimin—”

“Just be careful,” he reiterates, and all you can do is nod. What else is there to do besides wait for the inevitable crash and burn?

And it’s a little unfair, you think, that Taehyung grows older every single year. A little unfair that guilt won’t let you decline the invitations. A little unfair that you can still pick Jeongguk’s laughter out of a crowd. A little unfair that these hometown friends-turned-acquaintances still throw sideways glances whenever someone else touches him, as if he still has someone to answer to; as if they’re expecting something.

An hour. You’ve survived an hour longer than you did last year, and it’s not much but you’re still proud of yourself. You’ve had a drink, talked to someone other than Jimin. Managed to ignore the way Jeongguk is ignoring you; the way he immediately leaves a room as soon as you enter.  Maybe it’s better like this, you reckon. Maybe it’s what you need.

An hour is long enough. Jimin doesn’t comment on the way your bones crack when you stand to leave. No one needs a reminder of growing older. He doesn’t ask if you’ll be okay, either; if you need a ride home. Instead, he stays quiet as he studies you, clearly wondering if lightning strikes twice. If you’re going to be able to walk past Jeongguk and out the door without making another mistake.

You can at least make it across Taehyung’s sprawling yard and to the house. You can dodge the sweat-slick bodies and the girls sitting in laps. You can toss your empty cup in an overflowing trash can. You can pretend the eyes on your back are well-intentioned.

You can make it to the bathroom.

Annoying, the way your phone has been vibrating all night only to disappoint you. Irrational. You scroll past the emoji-laden messages, the coy flirting, because they’re from the person you’re actually dating—the person you told you were going to sleep early—and not from Jeongguk. You should feel guilty. You should feel guilty, but the face staring back at you in the mirror doesn’t look guilty at all.

She looks tired. A little beat-down, but that’s life.

Maybe that’s just what happens when you’ve spent the last two years of your life chasing after ghosts.

A knock at the door startles you. Sends your phone tumbling to the floor, screen probably cracked to hell, and you swear under your breath. “Just a minute!” you call out, a little stunned from how threadbare you feel all of a sudden.

Still, the knocking continues, and you’re on your knees on this bathroom floor and all you want to do is cry. You don’t want to be on this floor in this house. You don’t want to keep putting in the effort of maintaining the facades of all these friendships. You don’t want to keep coming back to this town, don’t want to keep being confronted with the harsh reality of all your mistakes.

“Just a fucking min—”

The words die on your tongue, because there Jeongguk stands, all the air in your lungs dissipating at the amount of space he takes up. Even worse when he steps inside and locks the door behind him. You feel like you’re going to drown. You feel like you’re going to scream or cry or both, and you’re still on the floor, still on your knees, and it feels too much like penance when you look up at him. Feels like you’re groveling, praying for forgiveness.

You stand quickly, ignoring the rush of blood to your head, the way your legs tingle. Jeongguk still hasn’t said a word, doesn’t seem like that’s going to change, either, and it’s really all you can do to stay on your feet when everything in you is screaming to collapse.

Eventually, he says, “You’re seeing someone,” and it isn’t a question, not really, but it borders on one. It’s a question and a confirmation and somehow sounds a lot like he’s asking for permission for something.

“I—yeah.” You swallow. “It’s new.”

He hums. Steps a little closer. Leans against the sink. Darts out his tongue to swipe at his bottom lip before he tugs his lip ring between his teeth. “Yeah? Does he treat you well?”

“She,” you correct, and there’s a flash of something in his eyes. Surprise, maybe. Jeongguk, at one point, had known everything about you, but not this. “And yeah,” you add on, barely a whisper, “she does.”

Part of you feels embarrassed. Jeongguk had known everything about you but not this, and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or guilty but it still sits there in the middle of your chest. Feels like you’ve been keeping secrets. Feels like shame, even though you aren’t ashamed. Feels like you’re awaiting judgment. But the surprise in Jeongguk’s eyes disappears and something else settles in its place—uncertainty, if you had to guess.

“Are you happy with her?”

You shrug. “Like I said, it’s new.”

And Jeongguk is as emulous as ever, because he asks, “Does it feel like what we had?” and you already know the answer is no.

“I’m not sure anything will.”

It’s honest; you hadn’t said it to appease him, but he looks pleased anyway. You’re starting to understand why so many people write about their first love. Why it’s such a powerful role to fill. Because you and Jeongguk are standing in a bathroom behind a locked door, feet apart from one another, and you think, I don’t think there’s anyone I will ever love more than him even though it’s been two years. You think, I don’t think I’ll ever recover from this.

You think, I would try over and over and over again if he asked me to.

Later on, when you’re alone in your childhood bed and your face is streaked with tears, only your shame and guilt for company, you won’t be able to figure out who moved first, but one of you had.

Once upon a time, you had known everything about Jeongguk, too. You could recite his taste from memory, but it’s different this time. He licks into your mouth and it tastes like ash—nothing like the clove cigarettes your girlfriend smokes, but close enough that the parallel burns like acid in your throat. It’s close enough that you can keep your eyes shut and pretend again.

This time there’s no softness to be found. There’s just Jeongguk’s mouth pressed to yours, barely letting you breathe, not wanting anyone to hear. There’s just the sink digging into your back. Jeongguk’s hands gripping at your waist, pulling at the hem of your skirt. There’s the frustration and desperation of two people who love each other but will never, ever get it right.

There’s Jeongguk asking, as he spits into his hand and slicks you up, if you’re going to tell her.

There’s you, already too far gone, saying you don’t know.

There’s Jeongguk asking, as you’re clenching around him and dragging him with you to the edge, if you’d come back to him if he asked you to.

There’s you, already knowing the answer to this, too, saying you would.

But this isn’t that and Jeongguk doesn’t ask. When it’s over, he tosses the condom and does a half-assed job of helping you clean up and he doesn’t ask. He splashes water on his face and fixes his hair and he doesn’t ask. He tucks his cock back into his briefs and zips his jeans and he doesn’t ask.

Jeongguk has one hand on the doorknob and he doesn’t ask you to come back. Instead, he asks, “How long are you gonna keep doing this?”

For once, you don’t have an answer.

[ the third. ] You go even farther away for grad school.

You try to put more distance between you and Jeongguk, more distance between you and all the skeletons in your closet, but you just pack them up in different boxes and bring them with you.

You spend New Year’s Eve chain-smoking in your parents’ back yard—that same brand of clove cigarettes, because hearts are easy to break but some habits are not. Sometimes it’s a comfort to hurt yourself in the same way you hurt others, so you chain-smoke and you don’t go to to Taehyung’s birthday party because you weren’t invited and it doesn’t sting in the same way that it doesn’t sting that Jimin doesn’t call you once you’re home because he hasn’t spoken to you in a year.

The clock ticks down to midnight. Someone sets off fireworks. Absolutely nothing changes.

There are no half-baked resolutions. There’s no hope that this is going to be the year you get your shit together. There’s just you and the bed you’ve made for yourself; the autopilot you can’t—won’t—turn off, because you don’t know where you’re going anyway so you might as well just go wherever it’s taking you. There’s guilt and there’s shame and there’s baggage, but they’re all old friends. Those are old scars.

The sweatshirt you’re wearing doesn’t belong to you, and it does little to protect you from the bitter cold that bites at your skin. Jeongguk doesn’t belong to you, either, but he keeps coming back to you like he does.

“Mind if I sit down?”

You shrug, gesturing to the empty chair beside you. The small fire you’d built is down to its last embers, and it’s what you focus on, because you can’t focus on Jeongguk anymore.

“You weren’t at Tae’s.”

“Wasn’t invited.”

“Oh,” he breathes. “Sorry, I didn’t know. I would’ve—”

“It’s fine. I wouldn’t have gone anyway.”

He seems to hear what you don’t say. I wouldn’t have gone because I can’t be around you anymore. I wouldn’t have gone because I don’t trust myself with you. I wouldn’t have gone because I’ve burned down every good thing in my life trying to keep you. “Oh. Yeah, that—that makes sense.”

He’d texted you. Asked if he could see you. Just wanted to talk, and you’ve never cared much for symbolism, but nearing midnight on New Year’s Eve had seemed as good a time as any to let it go, so you’d said yes. Now, when there isn’t much to say, all of Jeongguk’s flimsy excuses are laid bare. Transparent.

“Was Jimin there?”

Jeongguk nods. “You didn’t know?”

You shake your head. Feels like it’s made of concrete. “No. We haven’t talked since last winter break.”

“Because of—”

How cruel, that you’d confessed to Jimin instead of the one person who deserved to know. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

You shrug again. “It’s okay. I don’t think it’s permanent, just until I can get my shit together, I guess. Wasn’t fair to drag him into my mess anyway.”

“It’s not that easy,” Jeongguk says, and it sounds like something he wants to be true. It sounds like something he’s said countless times in defense of himself. “We’d—I’d do it if I could.”

“Yeah,” you agree, “of course.”

Silence creeps up again, so you dig another cigarette out of the pack and offer one to Jeongguk that he waves away. “Cloves? That’s a weird choice.”

“Just something I picked up along the way.”

He hears you again: They’re what she used to smoke. It helps me heal to hurt myself with something that reminds me of her. Sometimes I chain-smoke clove cigarettes and I don’t wash the smell from my hands, my clothes, my hair, because it makes me feel less alone.

So he asks, “Was it real?”

“Doesn’t matter,” you answer, flicking the wheel of your lighter, words spoken around the cigarette stuck between your lips. “It never had a chance. Not a real one, anyway.”

“Do your parents know?”

“Know what? That I went away to college and started fucking women?” Jeongguk shrugs. Has the audacity to look embarrassed. “What are you trying to ask me? You wanna know if I keep coming back to you because I’m scared to come out to my parents?”

“No. I don’t know. I just—”

The laugh that escapes you is scorched and bitter. Sounds the way the tobacco tastes. “No, Jeongguk. I keep coming back to you because I keep hoping you’ll ask me to.” I keep hoping you still want me.

“I almost did,” he admits, and you can hear how he swallows around the lump in his throat. “The first time.”

“When you were a dick about me sleeping with someone else? Yeah, okay. You didn’t want me back, you just didn’t want me to be with anyone else.”

He huffs. “How the fuck do you know what I want? You’ve never bothered to ask.”

“Because it doesn’t matter,” comes your response, stilted and practiced. “It doesn’t matter what we want, because we’re just going to keep hurting one another trying to get it right.” You suck in a breath, wipe furiously at the tears on your cheeks. “And we’re never going to.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Then ask.” Jeongguk startles, looks at you with wide eyes. “Ask me to come back for real, Jeongguk, and I will.”

A beat of silence.

Two, three, four.

Someone sets off another round of fireworks. A dog barks. It’s so cold that you can see Jeongguk’s breath each time he exhales, each time he breathes out instead of speaking. All the words he isn’t saying. And it’s exactly how you knew it would go, but it does nothing to tamp down the devastation in your chest.

You’d confessed your transgressions to Jimin and thought your silence to your ex-girlfriend was a gift, that it was sparing her the pain of what you’d done. Now you understand that someone’s silence can be the most vicious thing of all.

[ the last. ] Graduation looms. It’s the last winter break you’re spending at home.

Your therapist suspects you get your compartmentalism from your parents.

They don’t mention it. They see the stack of boxes and your bare bedroom walls and they don’t say a word about any of it. They watch you pack everything in your car and don’t offer to help. They process their grief silently, and when you can’t stand it anymore, you say, “I dated a woman my senior year of undergrad, you know.”

They don’t say anything to that, either, but it feels good to tell them. Feels a little like freedom and reclamation, like you can be who you are in front of others.

When you leave for good, you don’t want to repackage all those same skeletons.

So you meet Jimin for lunch and you take it in stride that everything is weird, that there’s nearly two years of silence to fill. You don’t ask for forgiveness and he doesn’t demand it of you, just asks if you’re doing better. “I’m doing the best I can,” you answer, and it’s human and honest enough that he accepts it with a warm smile.

Jeongguk is more difficult.

There’s no way to neatly box up that kind of baggage.

You’d intended to stop by his apartment to talk, tell him you aren’t coming back anymore. There’s nothing left here for you, you’d told him, and there was a flash of something. A there’s me, isn’t there? that had gone unsaid, destined for the same fate as a million other unspoken words between you.

Because there is him, but there’s also the way you’re desperately trying to claw back into something resembling normalcy. You’d lost yourself when you also lost Jeongguk, and you need to figure out who you are without him. You need to know who you are once you stop running and let your demons catch up with you. You need to hear what they have to say.

Maybe Jeongguk had said it best last year—“It’s not that easy. I’d do it if I could.”—because you’re nothing if not predictable and self-destructive.

You’re nothing if not naked and on your back beneath him, your fingers threaded through his hair as he rocks his hips into you, more tender than you deserve. His lips are ghosting along your skin and every press feels like a brand. Feels like he’s both making a mockery of you and declaring you ruined for anyone who might come after him. Feels like you’ll love him until you die.

(Some version of you must exist outside of Jeongguk’s grasp—outside of his orbit, his bed—but right now, as he twines your fingers together and pins them above your head, you can’t figure out who she might be.)

Eight months had been a long time to think of all the things you wanted to say, and four years is worse. Four years, and you still can’t bring yourself to ask him to try again, but there’s nothing after this, nothing to lose, so your voice is hoarse and raw when you say, “Jeongguk,” and he groans a little, nips at the column of your throat because he loves the way you say his name. “Jeongguk,” you repeat, because he senses the urgency, hears what you aren’t saying.

“Yeah, baby, say it. Whatever it is, tell me.”

He rolls his hips faster. Before, he would’ve tried to prolong the ending, but he’s hurtling towards it now. There’s nothing after this, you know, but you need the confirmation. You need to finally put all of this to rest. “I want to—” His cock strokes someplace that whites out your vision. “Fuck, want to—want you to come with me.”

He laughs, full of himself, probably smirking out the side of his mouth. “Keep squeezing me like that and I will soon.”

“No,” you insist, shocked at the conviction in your voice, “when I leave. Come with me.”

Everything slows. Jeongguk pulls back, moves his hands to cover himself, and there’s nothing but cold confusion in his absence. “What?”

“I didn’t ask you before. Last year. I just—I left it up to you, and you’re right, I didn’t ask what you wanted, but I didn’t tell you what I wanted, either. But I’m telling you now. I’m asking—”

There was never going to be anything after this.

Jeongguk’s silence says it all.

The way he pulls out and rolls you onto your stomach. The way he fucks as fast and as hard as he can. The way he used to love you openly and honestly and now holds whatever’s left close to his chest like it’s something to be ashamed of.

Someone’s silence can always be the most vicious thing of all.

Roll credits.

thank you so much for reading, and an additional thank you in advance if you decide to reblog my work. as always, my inbox is always open for any feedback! ♡

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #bts angst #bts smut #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfic

[euphoricfilter]

hearts for dinner

pairing: yandere! taehyung x devil! reader

genre: fluff || smut || non-idol au || established relationship || yandere au

summary: how to wake up the devil

word count: 1.5k

tags/ warnings: fluff, mentions of death and murder, blood, yandere! tae, she does in fact eat hearts for breakfast lunch and dinner, eventual smut to come

notes: mother is back!!! with a mini series based off this idea!! and am fully open to questions about the au which can be turned into future drabbles :D

where you can find the rest of my work!!

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

fingers tease the ends of your hair, taehyung tugging gently.

he lays on his side beside you, head propped up by his hand as he stares at your sleep stricken face. ever so peaceful, fragile and delicate, warm, entirely unaware of the world around you.

though he supposes even when you’re awake, he doesn’t leave much room for your mind to wander.

a man having tamed the devil herself.

filing down sharp edges and dissolving her poisonous touch until you’d become nothing but soft, warm, pretty gooeyness. tooth rotting sweetness. a heart wrenching loveable being hidden in human form.

tucked away from people. tucked away from civilisation, kept between the walls of the cottage with everything you ask for.

your own crafted paradise, taehyung the creator of your world. the pinnacle of your mind, the core of every thought and feeling.

your life solely his to keep, held in calloused hands, stained in the blood of hundreds. though those lives of everyone who passed, had a new purpose. the purpose of feeding you— taehyung’s only reason to live.

to keep you alive. happy and alive.

<3

you briefly register the ghost of a touch over your cheek, a loose strand of hair tucked behind your ear before warm, soft, lips press over the supple skin of your neck.

you turn, sheets tangled around your waist, noise of question catching in your throat as you slowly slip into consciousness. a gentle slide into the waking world.

“sweet dove” taehyung murmurs against your skin, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder.

goosebumps prickle the skin of his arms as the scent of you sinks into his pores, the taste of you dancing across his tongue.

“hmm” you tug the blanket up higher, knees curling into your chest. utter warmth surrounding you.

he coos, “my little dove, i have breakfast for you”

you breathe out a long sigh, hands blindly reaching out for him, fingers pressing over his chest, trailing up his arms until your reach his neck, deft fingers curling around the necklace that dangles over his collarbones. your initials locked around his neck. a forever promise that he will never take off.

“can’t you smell it?” he brushes a knuckle down the line of your jaw, “i thought you’d enjoy it warm today… got too cold on the way home”

you peek an eye open, tongue wetting your bottom lip.

“you were gone all night” you croak, trying to pull him closer. quick to throw the blanket over his body to keep the warmth in.

“and how would you know that” he hums, “what time did you go to bed?”

you press your face into the pillow, words muffled, eyes slipping closed, ready for you to slip back into your own little dream world.

“i asked you a question, dove” he presses, arms slipping around your waist.

“6” you mutter.

“A.M. i assume” he presses on.

“mmhmm” you nod, “my gaming console died and i couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed to get the charger…”

a low rumble of laughter vibrates his chest.

“breakfast, then, i’ll tuck you back into bed for a nap. how about it?”

your eyes peel open, “okay” you nod, hands fumbling around under the blanket, looking for his hand.

your fingers wrap around his wrist, bringing it up to your face. you sniff, nose scrunching up at the onslaught of smells. apparent why’d he been gone so many hours of the night. because no matter how much he scrubbed his hands after, the sweet tickling scent of blood will never be missed by you.

“how many?” you wonder, and he smiles a toothy grin.

“enough to last you the week… that’s why i was gone for so long” he leans down, gentle kiss presses to your cheek in apology.

you sigh, leaning your cheek into his open palm “i missed you”

“oh darling” he croons, pulling you closer, face pressed against his chest.

you can feel the steady beat of his heart, the gentle rush of blood slipping through his veins.

“i think i may have missed you more” he whispers, words sweet like nectar as they drip off his tongue, “but i’m here now, just like how it should be”

“and you won’t leave?” you murmur, fingers grasping at his shirt.

“never”

“promise?” you swallow.

“you are my life” his fingers slip into your hair, tugging your head upwards to look at him, “we are forever. there is no end to us until the day our bodies decay, and even then you will never get rid of me. i am yours for eternity”

you nod, smile tugging at the corners of your lips “okay. what if i wanted to travel”

“then i’d follow” his answer is quick, no hesitation.

“and if i wanted to get married?”

“i am all yours”

your fingers skim over his cheek, “what if i wanted the stars?”

at this, he smiles, “i would venture far into the galaxy to pick you the most perfect stars, and name a constellation after you on the way”

“i would want to come with you” you tell him.

his fingers rake through your hair “i wouldn’t ever leave you behind”

you look up at him, silence stretching out between the both of you.

“what about—“ you start, though taehyung’s boisterous laughter cuts you off.

“anything. anything you ask for, it is yours. but first you need to eat, my little dove”

he peels the blanket off the both of you, whine of protest bubbling up your throat as the cool air of the bedroom caresses your skin.

“poor thing” he frowns, arms wrapping around you, pulling you up and off the mattress, “i’ll put the fire on while we eat” he hums, footsteps heavy as he trudges down the stairs, your arms wrapped around his neck

“hold on for a moment” he tells you, hoisting you up a little higher as he pulls out your chair at the dining table. gentle as he sits you down.

your bare feet touch the cold tiles, recoiling to press against your chest.

taehyung scuttles out of the kitchen, quick to grab you, your favourite blanket from the couch, wrapping it around your shoulders as he flitters around the kitchen.

your gaze wanders, eyes catching sight of the outside world. the vast forest seems never ending, darkness lurking just beyond the safety of the house.

“we can go out for a walk later if you like?” taehyung hums, “i have a new coat for you to try”

you turn to look at him, voice soft “i’m okay, thank you though”

he looks over his shoulder at you, holding eye contact. you feel your breath catch in your throat.

he tilts his head, turning back to the pan on the stove, “alright. tell me if you change your mind”

it’s only second after that he’s turning back to you, plate in hand.

you look at the heart, perfectly seared, puddle of blood still coating the plate even though cooked.

“let me know what you think” he smiles, taking the seat opposite yours.

you don’t bother with cutlery, fingers digging into the muscle, wet squelch of blood dripping down your palm, ever so warm. the tantalising smell of it enough to have yourself hungry.

“thank you” you look up at taehyung with a smile, and he simply grins, motioning for you to eat.

you bring the human heart up to your lips, tongue pressing against the muscle before your teeth sink into it.

you chew at it, molars tearing at the meat, swallowing down the metallic blood as it coats your tastebuds.

your fingers tighten around the heart. frown slowly pulling at taehyung’s lips, noticing how your cheeks don’t go rosy, he can tell your bloodlust is not nearly sated.

you drop the heart back onto the plate, not bothering that blood splatters onto the tablecloth.

“what’s wrong?” taehyung stands, taking the plate from in front of you.

“not good” you look up at him, bottom lip pulling into a pout.

“my dove” he kneels down before you, hand running over your cheek, “here—“ he stars, standing.

he moves towards the freezer, pulling the door open, then tugging the biggest drawer open.

“pick which one smells the tastiest, yeah?” he motions for you to look. freezer packed with individually wrapped hearts, the smallest shelf saved for his own meals.

“then i’ll cook you a nice breakfast, better this time” he starts, “then we can stay in bed for as long as you like, yeah?”

you nod at him, from still pulling at your lips, “please”

he smiles.

“i want something sweet for breakfast” you tell him, “something younger than the old piece of shit i just had”

“i should have known you wouldn’t like him… he was more my own indulgence than your dinner” he admits, “horrible man” it comes out barely above a whisper.

“taehyung” you call out to him as he rummages through the drawers.

he perks up, “yes, dove?”

“i love you”

and he can’t help the grim that stretches his cheeks, heart beating rapidly, locked away in his ribcage though so close to bursting through his skin. a heart full of awfully delicious love, ready for you to consume.

“and yet, i might love you more” he tells you.

#bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts #bts x reader #kim taehyung #taehyung #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #bts non idol au #taehyung fic #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #bts smut #kim taehyung imagine #taehyung imagine #taehyung scenarios #taehyung smut #kim taehyung x reader #bts x you #bts taehyung

[bangtanloverboys]

in honor of halloween, i created some little short ghost stories for bangtan. 

content warning: some stories will have referenced/implied murder and suicide, so please read with caution.

pairing - gardener!namjoon x ghost!reader

genre - angst, suspense

summary - there’s something buried in namjoon’s garden, he doesn’t know what else to do but maybe provide a bit of consolation

read here

pairing - stoner!seokjin x ghost!reader

genre - fluff, slight angst

summary - if there’s anything seokjin loves to do at a party, it’s to talk to people. but what happens when he talks to someone he doesn’t know is there?

read here

pairing - writer!yoongi x ghost!reader

genre - angst, suspense

summary - up later than he usually is, yoongi is stuck staring at an empty document, trying to write. a little glass of wine shouldn’t help to get the creative juices flowing, right?

read here

pairing - ghost!hoseok x taxi driver!reader

genre - angst, suspense

summary - for some reason, your boss told you never to pick up riders after midnight. maybe you’ll figure it out when you pick up a man who only asks to take him home

read here

pairing - ghost!jimin x single mother!reader

genre - angst, suspense

summary - imaginary friends aren’t uncommon for kids your daughter’s age. but there’s something unsettling about her new imaginary friend jimin, who she claims lives in the bathroom

read here

pairing - ghost!taehyung x psychic!reader

genre - fluff, angst

summary - reading hundred year old unsent love letters feels bittersweet, especially so when the writer is standing behind you, telling you even more about the letters

read here

pairing - ghost!jungkook x ghost hunter!reader

genre - humor, angst

summary - if there’s anything jungkook hates more than being dead, it’s ghost hunters who won’t let him spend his afterlife in peace

read here

#bts x reader #bts ghost au #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x reader #jin x reader #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jung hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #park jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #namjoon angst #seokjin angst #yoongi suspense #hoseok angst #jimin suspence #taehyung fluff #jungkook fluff #ghost hoseok #ghost jimin #ghost taehyung #ghost jungkook #bts fanfiction #namjoon fanfiction

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; 12

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 5.3k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | mentions of death, drinking, disease (cancer)

note | surpisingly, i am still alive lol i'm kidding. i apologize for the delay! the bad headaches are now gone and the fever has cooled down. and now, the update's here! to everyone who sent their messages, tysm I appreciate it 🥺 I didn't mean to ghost y'all, I'm so sorry! anw hope u enjoy reading this one :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

Ever since you were young, you liked things to go the way you planned it. When you were younger, you carried a small notebook with you. Your father gave you your first one during the holidays when you were seven. In there, you make your own little bullet journal, listing off the things you would want to do for the upcoming days. With your messy handwriting, you even wrote your far future plans.

As a child, you used to see things with your rose-colored glasses. Everything seemed real and attainable for your small hands. You thought you just had to follow the usual path of your plans and you would be fine. But things do not always go according to plan. You learned it the hard way.

You always dreamt of being a nurse. At age eight, you were a frequent visitor to the hospital. Not because you were sick yourself, but because you and your mom had to go back there from time to time with your dad who was receiving treatment for his disease. You wanted to take care of him. So you did what a little girl could do, listen to your dad’s heartbeat through your plastic toy stethoscope and kiss his pain away. He would always call you his favorite nurse and you would give him your toothy grin. After a year, when you were nine, he lost his battle with cancer. 

Confused and in sorrow, you almost crossed out that dream from your list. You had a hard time understanding why you had to lose your dad at such an early age. Your friends had dads, how come you lost yours before you could even reach middle school? Then, you became angry. Your father was always in treatment in the hospital. Hospitals are meant to cure people, right? Your little kid brain thought. It felt unfair to you.

But then, you and your mom later left the small neighborhood you were living in and moved in with your aunt– her older sister. Aunty Belle is a nurse herself, a surprise for you as you didn’t know you have a relative who works in the same place you loathed at that time. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her, she was warm and welcoming when you arrived in her humble abode in Incheon. She doesn’t have a family of her own so she took good care of you and your mom. She became your third parent while your mom deals with the grief of losing her husband.

“It’s fun. You get to meet wonderful people every day and help them to feel better.” your aunt replied once when you asked her about her job.

Aunty Belle never got tired of your questions and curiosity about nursing. Slowly, you began rebuilding your plans. The dream of being a nurse is back, added with your other dreams: making your mom happy, and living independently (like your aunt). You studied hard, aiming for higher grades and going to the best college for your dreams.

But at age fifteen, Aunty Belle became your legal guardian when your mom passed. Through your aunt, you learned that your mother has been struggling heavier than you expected. Your aunt was extremely worried for your mom that’s why she begged her to come and live with her. You always thought your mom was getting better with how she cried less day by day and even took a job as a receptionist in a dental clinic. 

Since then, you have become more understanding and emotionally sensitive to everyone. The feelings you had years ago when you lost your dad were creeping around you. This time, instead of being angry at something else, you felt like this one was on you. You blamed yourself for not seeing the signs from your mother’s eyes. How she became more reserved or how her eyes were often blank whenever she tried to smile for you. Maybe you were too focused on reaching your plans that you didn’t give any attention to her. You were angry, hurt, and in guilt. It’s too overwhelming and is heavy in your heart. It reached the point where you broke down during breakfast, in front of the toast and bacon Aunty Belle prepared for you, weeks after your mom’s funeral.

“I should’ve seen it. I should have seen that she was not okay.” you sniffed as you looked down your plate. “I was supposed to make her feel better and happy.”

Crying, you pushed your plate in front of you and just covered your face with your palms. You repeated the words over and over again like you were reminding yourself how you failed as your mom’s only child.

“Oh, sweetie…” your aunt whispered before sitting beside you and enveloping you in a hug. Her hand moved up and down your arms, making you feel warm. “It’s not your fault. You are the best daughter she could ask for. She loves you more than anything else.”

After that morning, Aunty Belle made sure to get you the best help. She guided you in everything she could and supported you with your choices. She made sure that you will still pursue your plans, never stopping you from doing what you want. Years later, you graduated from high school and were about to embark on a new journey.

“You know that you can just have this place,” she mumbled when you were packing your things. “I’m selling it anyway.”

“But Aunty, this isn’t in my plan. You know how bad I want to live in Seoul.” you smiled at her.

Because of your efforts and hard work, you got accepted into one of the best universities in another city. You later moved from Incheon to Seoul to finish your studies and become a nurse there. While Aunty Belle sold her home and followed her own plans of living with her longtime best friends under one roof.

But none of what happened in the last few years was part of your plans when you were younger. You didn’t really see yourself coming back to Incheon after living in Seoul for the longest time. You never thought you would leave your job in the hospital you dreamed of and work in a slightly different environment.

Two years ago, you left home. The house you had plans in with someone else. You were the one who broke off those plans and moved away without really telling anyone. You remembered that night like it was yesterday.

Every step you took away from him felt like a piece of you fell on the ground. Your vision was all blurry and you had to cover your lips as you sobbed. You clutched onto your gown while you remind yourself that you need to do this. For the sake of your own being. But still, there is this voice telling you to stay– to turn around and come back to him.

“YN, honey,” 

Looking up, you see Julia looking at you with sympathy. She walked towards you with open arms and you immediately just broke down on her dress. Listening to your sobs, Julia eyes her date, whom you didn’t notice was there waiting too, to get in the car. 

Your whispered voice muffled in the hug, “I hate this so much,”

The whole drive home, Julia and Chanyeol respected your silence in the backseat. They put on some radio music and chatted about the wedding while your teary eyes just looked outside the window. They were like your parents that night. When you guys passed by McDonald’s, it took one nudge from Julia to make Chanyeol turn the car back around for the drive-thru. She ordered your food for you in a separate bag so you could have something to eat when you reached home. When you arrived in front of your house, they helped you with your small bag. 

“Thank you so much, guys. I’m sorry this is our first meeting, Chanyeol.” you tried to lighten the mood as you three stood on the porch.

He smiled, “It’s fine. Everyone has their bad day.”

You chuckled before Julia nudged her again with her elbow. Then, she turns to you.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Probably early morning. I already have the keys to keep my apartment so I can go there now too if I want to.” your words rambled as your head felt like a mess.

“Okay, call me. I’ll pick you up–” Before you can say anything, she lifts her finger. “And no, I won’t take no for an answer. I wanna see your new place.”

They left after Julia made sure you were fine. Walking into your house for the last time, you tried to go straight to your room to change from your gown to your pajamas. Then, you cried again. And again. And again. 

The last time you woke up in that house was the morning after that. You woke up before dawn. The sky was barely lit and the moon was still present above you. You promised yourself that you would leave like a ghost. Like what you have been doing the last few days. Cleaning up, your hand ran on your bedsheets to smoothen out the wrinkles. Fortunately, almost ninety percent of your clothes fit in two pieces of luggage. You just have to leave a few things that you’ll probably get when you get back.

From Julia

Will be there in five

Five minutes left, you find yourself sitting in front of your vanity mirror. Making one last check, you pulled the small drawers in the table. That’s when you saw that old pearl ring Taehyung bought you in the flea market. A heavy sigh from your chest makes its way out of your lips. Holding it between your thumb and index finger, you stare at it.

We tried, didn’t we?

Before any tears can fall, you simply close your eyes. Your chest heaves. You clutched that ring in your palm for some minute, like you were giving your one last goodbye. Then, you carefully place it next to your keys. You decided to leave your keys as you don’t want to come and go here in secret as you always have the tendency to do that especially if you want to avoid a person. Like you were doing now. You want to come back here better and hopefully, talk to Taehyung in the future.

Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.

You wrote on a piece of paper that you left on the same table. In the weeks you two lived together after the accident, you knew how he struggled to adjust to this house. Now that you’re going, you wish for him to feel comfortable in this house you two shared and called home. The pieces of furniture and shade of blue that took over every wall in the house were picked by both you and Taehyung when you bought it. The frame kept every memory you and Taehyung love to look back on in the span of your four-year relationship. But if it means for him to feel at home, you won’t mind if he wants to change things around the house. Even though it will probably break your heart harder than it is now.

“You…”

It was only your first morning, the second day in your new apartment in Incheon when someone came knocking on your door. You were still organizing your place and unpacking when you heard continuous heavy knocks. Almost instantly, your eyes widened when you saw who it was through your door’s peephole. The person spoke again as soon as you opened your door.

“You moved?!” Jisoo immediately pushed through your door and welcomed herself in. “You moved here?!”

Based on the tone of her voice, she was more angry than surprised. Her eyebrows were scrunched together while her nose flared. Her hands were on her hips like she was waiting for an explanation. Your lips opened for a second before it closed again. You softly scratched your cheek before opening your lips again,

“I-I thought you were on your honeymoon vacation.”

She tilts her head, “Well, I’m not. Am I?”

“Why are you here?” you mumbled, sounding scared at her.

The thing is, Jisoo rarely gets angry or annoyed. You had known her ever since you began working as a nurse and you learned she have the longest patience for everyone else. But when she runs out of it, you don’t know how she will react.

“Why are you here?” she returned your question with raised eyebrows. “You did not tell me you were moving here or resigning in the hospital! What happened?”

You closed the door and quietly walked back to your messy living room since you knew she would follow. She did and continued,

“I saw the shift schedule like two hours ago and you’re not there. I had to ask Gail and she said you resigned. You were not answering my calls or messages! I had to call Julia. Then, she told me you moved here– What the fuck happened? I was only busy for like two weeks and next thing I know, my best friend’s in another city and hospital.”

You sat on your grey couch while Jisoo still stood in front of you. You looked away as your replied,

“Well, actually I’ll be working in a school–”

Jisoo’s tone went higher, “What?!”

“I applied as a school nurse–”

“No, no, no.” she shushed you. “Tell me everything that happened. Everything.”

So you did. But first, you asked her to sit down next to you. You ordered food by app as you don’t really have any stock of food at the moment. While you were waiting for the food, you began telling her about what happened. From how you met Lily to how you happened to be where you are right now. Jisoo listened intently. As you went on, you noticed her shoulders and facial expression softened up. From her jaw being clenched tight, her lips were formed into a slight frown. You tried not to cry throughout the whole story-telling impromptu but your voice did shake and you just felt your best friend’s warm hands somewhere in the middle of your story. At the end, you find yourself leaning your head on her shoulder while she leans hers on top.

“I and Joon just decided to go on honeymoon next month. Plus, I have a toaster and an air fryer in my car.” Jisoo broke the comfortable silence you two shared with a random sentence.

You lifted your head, looking at her, “What? Why?”

“We received like a ton of it from the wedding. We had to give some stuff away rather than selling it and I just knew your place is probably still empty. So I just bought some. I have plates too.” she smiled.

“But what if I was the one who gave you that toaster?” you asked, squinting your eyes.

“You did not.” she chuckled but your expression didn’t change. She blinked and asked with a feeble voice, “You did not, right?”

Your lips broke into a smile, “Yeah, we didn’t.”

She pouted before you two laughed and hugged. Just like that, you and Jisoo are okay.

Unlike any of your past decisions, nothing was truly planned when you decided to move away. Aunty Belle, whom you visit every now and then, comforted you about it and said that life just happens like that sometimes. And that’s how your two years went. Unplanned. You just applied for the first good job you saw, which happened to be being a school nurse in a preschool. You moved to another apartment after just a few months since your initial place is farther on the subway you always take to get to the school every morning.

Working with kids, you always miss your patients back in Seoul. Particularly, Naeun, whom you are still in contact with. You visit her a couple of times when you go to Seoul.

And there were times when you thought you saw Taehyung. Not just in Seoul, but also in Incheon. The first one was just months after you left, you were on your way to preschool when you saw him in the subway. But you thought it was just a look-alike and impossible since he would not have any reason to come here. Plus, you were feeling a little down that week as it was supposedly your fifth anniversary. The next time is when you come to Seoul to visit Naeun. It was a busy Sunday and you stopped by a toy store in the mall to get a gift for your favorite patient. It was a bit crowded since it was on sale. So you lost him in the blink of an eye.

The most recent one is when you came to Seoul for Julia’s birthday. You had a few drinks with your friends and everything was already slightly blurry. But you swore you saw him when you were waiting for your Uber late at night. You were with Julia, who was waiting with you just to make sure you’d be safe. She was talking about something but your eyes caught a man walking on the other side of the road with his head down on his phone. The small light coming from his screen made you recognize him. It’s him, you’re sure.

Although you have visited the city a couple of times already, you never drop by the bakeshop or the house. You never even contacted Taehyung. There were times it crossed your mind. But you never did. You miss him. God knows, how much. But you don’t know what to say about the house, him, you, or the relationship you two had.

You and Jimin talked seldomly. The first one was a week after you and Taehyung officially went separate ways. He would ask how are you and you would do the same thing. You were surprised but happy at the same time when you learned he had a kid, who happens to be Jisoo’s nephew. You two had this unspoken rule to not talk about Taehyung because Jimin doesn’t bring him up and you are too shy to ask. But you know they are doing well, you heard they expanded the shop.

In the whole two years, Taehyung never really left your mind. It’s hard. Especially when you would still get random reminders of your relationship in unexpected ways. In what was supposed to be your fifth anniversary, you got a scheduled e-mail from his account. Every year, your phone calendar still updates you to buy him a gift a month before his birthday. And just like last month, you found an old picture in one of your bags. Something you probably slipped there long ago. It’s a picture taken years ago during your first snow in your house with a handwritten caption, TOO MORE SNOWY DAYS TOGETHER. It was in his handwriting.

“Goodbye, Nurse YN!”

A little kid waved his little hand to you while his mom politely smiled at you. You waved back and continued walking back from your small clinic. This is how your day ends in school: tiny voices saying goodbye and sometimes giving you warm hugs. You were never really busy since you worked with two other school nurses who you became friends with. 

“Oh, hey, YN.”

You just sat in front of your computer screen, recording some student’s health records, when your co-nurse popped into your shared office. Martha just found her recent hobby a couple of months ago after you told her that you haven’t been dating for the last couple of years.

You exaggeratedly sighed and did not even look at her, “What do you want?”

“YN sounds so tired of you already.” Aileen, your other co-nurse, laughed while organizing her files.

“I know, she is.” Martha chuckled. She turns to you, “I know a guy…”

You paused from what you were doing, “Martha–” 

It’s not like you’re not interested in dating. It took you more than a year to be open again to the idea and so far, you’ve gone into two dates from Martha’s recommendations. But both were not a match. The first one is a great guy but he seems like he cannot get over an ex since he talked about her half of the time. While the second guy is just rude. That’s all you can say about him. The date was all about him not liking how the steak was cooked and how one of the waiters was too kind to you. It was horrible.

“No, no, honey. Listen to me first.” Matha cuts you off. “I personally know this guy. He’s my cousin and… he also works in the medical field! He’s a doctor.”

An eyebrow raised. A doctor? Well, you never dated one before. But you knew doctors were better than that last guy you mentioned.

Aileen joined, “Is he the one you showed me earlier?

“Yup,” Martha replied, popping the ‘p’ sound.

“Oh, you’ve got to see him, YN. The guy is gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “If you won’t date him, I will!”

The three of you laughed. Of course, Aileen can’t. She is currently seven months pregnant with her second child and married to one of the teachers in this same preschool.

“Just don’t tell Seb,” she added, mentioning her husband.

You still haven’t said anything even though you are admittedly interested. Martha pulled her phone out.

“Wait, I’ll show you his account.”

“Oh, that dress suits you perfectly!”

Jisoo’s voice filled your room as you fixed the dress on your body. Even though you two are in different cities, she is still your go-to every time you need to dress up for something. Usually, through Facetiming. The date is fine-dining. So, you tried on different dresses for Jisoo to pick on and eventually, you two agreed on the same one.

“Don’t forget your coat! It might get cold,” she advised. “Now, turn around again!”

You giggled before doing what she said. You heard her cheer and compliments, making you smile.

“You are stunning!”

“Thank you so much for helping me, Jiji,” you said with a small smile.

“You’re welcome. Just have fun, okay? Let me know how it goes later.” she told you and you nodded. She spoke again, “Now, go! Book that Uber already.”

“Okay, okay. Bye! Call you later. Love you!” you waved.

She waved back, “Love you, take care!”

You ended the call and moved to another app to look for a ride. Your date initially asked if you wanted him to pick you up. But you just agreed to meet him at the restaurant he invited you to. He seems nice. Martha said her cousin has been single for a while now. After his last relationship, he just gave most of his time to work.

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi! I’m on my way. See you there.

You sent your date the message when you finally got in the car you booked twenty minutes ago. It did not even take a few minutes before he replied,

From +82 65 78** ****

Okay, see you there! Take care.

Pursing your lips, you look outside the window of the moving car. You hope for the best for tonight. You hope Martha’s recommendation is at least okay this time. Maybe the universe could prove to you that Taehyung is not the only guy in the world who could make the butterflies play around in your stomach. Or the only guy who would be patient enough with your tendencies. You just have to know that he is not the only guy in the world. Period.

As much as you won’t say it, dating Taehyung for four years made him your standard for everything. You already met two versions of him; one before the accident and one after the accident. They are almost the same person but the latter just brought you a lot of pain because of various circumstances. But you know and feel he shows his emotions in other ways.

“We’re here.” the female driver, whom you saw is Val, said as she stopped the car in front of the brightly lit restaurant.

You smiled before getting out of the vehicle, “Thank you.”

Starry Night lives up to its name. As you noticed before, the whole place is lit up with many lights. Carefully, you walked inside with your strappy heels. The staff smiled and greeted you, and you greeted them back.

“Good evening, madam. Welcome to Starry Night. How may I help you?”

“I have a reservation under Jung Hoseok’s name.” you politely replied.

“Oh, okay. Let me check our list. Excuse me.” the host scrolled down his iPad for a minute. “The name’s here! Please, follow me to your table. This way please.” 

You followed him while looking around the place. It’s not too crowded and it has a romantic feeling because of the lights and jazz music. You know someone who would have loved to go here. Before you sit down, the host assisted you with the chair and offered to take your coat. You agreed. Pulling out your phone from your purse, you update Hoseok that you just arrived. You put your phone down and studied the whole place again with your eyes. 

A woman caught your eye. She was talking and chatting with the chef in the side station. They looked like they were waiting for someone to enter the door. Your gaze were broke off when someone spoke from your side.

“Good evening, ma’am. My name is Soojin and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. Would you like to order something?” the young waiter smiled.

“Oh, I’m still waiting for my date…” you murmured. “But can I have some water please?”

“Certainly, ma’am. Excuse me.”

Soojin left as you said thank you. As she was gone from your sight, your eyes landed on the man who was entering the restaurant. Dressed in a nice black coat over a light blue shirt, you quickly recognize him. Your mouth runs dry while your heart beats like a horse’s footsteps in a race. You were frozen.

What is he doing he– Fuck.

Your eyes meet. You can see his eyes widening as his lips gaped slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down while you practically lost your hearing. All you can hear is the drum inside your chest.

Fuck, you cursed again.

What are the chances for this to happen? Is the universe playing or simply fucking with you? You asked for a great date and it gave you this. The man you’ve been holding as your standard ever since. 

It burns.

His eyes. You can feel them as you take a sip from the ice-cold glass of water. After the host led him to one of the empty tables in your line, your eyes traveled everywhere except on his spot. You two were literally just an empty table apart.

Is he here for a date? Why here? In Incheon, really? Can’t he just date people from Seoul?

It has been nine minutes, you’ve been counting. Your hand rests on your knee, to stop your knees from jerking up and down, while the other rests on the table with your phone. You’ve been texting but erasing messages to Hoseok. You don’t think you can do this. With Taehyung being just a few feet away from you, it felt wrong to be with someone else. You should have been sitting right in front of him.

Slowly, you try to move your eyes in his direction. You paused when you saw that he was staring at you too, unmovable. Are you supposed to smile? Wave? Nod. just nod. You were about to do that when the same woman from the side station walked up to him, covering your view of him.

“Hi, good evening!” you heard her honey-like voice greet him. “I’m Ashley.”

You noticed Taehyung stood up. They shake hands and you don’t really hear the rest of their conversation. You began texting your date,

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi. Where are you?

You’ve been alone for a while now.

Taehyung noticed. The glass of water on your table is almost empty. The waiter already come back to you a couple of times now. He can see you chewing on your lower lip as you check your phone every minute that passes by.

Did your date just stand you up?

His hands clutched as he thought of that idea. He knew you didn’t deserve that.

“I think this is good! Not too sweet, not too spiced. It’s soft too. Just perfect.” Ashley snapped him from his thoughts.

Taehyung tried to concentrate on what he originally meant to do here, “Yeah… uhm… Jimin, my friend, really tries to balance the texture and taste. It’s his own carrot cake recipe that he worked on before we even had the shop.”

Ashley already had a taste of every cake he brought. Five open Tupperware are on their table, including the cheesecake you love. She began talking about the other cakes and dessert while Taehyung stole some glances at you again. This time, you are on call. You pursed your lips before replying to whoever it was. He can read the disappointment through your eyes as your lips form into a small frown. You sighed before saying, it’s fine, I understand. No problem. 

“Okay, these are really good. I think your products will be a great addition to our menu.” Ashley spoke again. 

Taehyung looked at her with surprise, “Oh, wow. That’s… great.”

Did he just get this deal?

“Yeah, I trusted my chef when he said he had the best Tiramisu in your shop and I’m glad I did. These desserts are perfect and really satisfy my sweet tooth.” She compliments.

Taehyung bowed his head, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Your desserts deserve to be everywhere. Haven’t you guys thought of opening a branch here?” she asked.

“Oh, we’re still figuring things out. We just expanded our main shop in Seoul.” he chuckled.

“Well, I might go there when I visit Seoul.”

“Please do and let us know.” he smiled.

“I will. By the way, the contract is not ready now. But we are definitely having this deal! Can you and Jimin visit here again next week or maybe me and my head chef can visit your shop in Seoul?” Ashley offers.

“I still have to discuss that with my friend.”

“Oh, sure. Sure. Here, we are okay with any decision. Just let us know. You guys have our e-mail and numbers, right?” Taehyung nods. “Okay, I guess… that’s a done deal.”

Ashley stood up and offered her hand. Taehyung stood up too and shook her hand. 

“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled.

While Ashley replied, he stole another glance behind her. That’s when he sees you standing up and walking back to the host at the entrance of the restaurant. The host had an apologetic look on his face as you talked to him. He helped you with your coat. It seems like you’re leaving with your date being a no-show. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But I would have to go for now..” Taehyung carefully said.

Ashley smiled, “Oh, of course. Yes. You can go. But one more thing… can you leave these cakes?”

Taehyung chuckled with that, “Of course!”

“Thank you! See you in the contract signing!”

“See you.” 

Taehyung took his coat from his seat and left in a hurry. You were already gone, possibly out of the restaurant. He said thank you to the staff who opened the door for him and he immediately searched around. That’s when he sees you standing, looking down at your phone.

“This one’s just a few minutes away–”

He took a deep breath before saying, “YN?”

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RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

@iamkookiesforyou @aianloveseven @hoodalmighty @taebangtanbabe @kthsmoon @nooojaaam @hiimnothing @hiqhkey @annenakamura @taebangtanbabe @shin-ie @prlan @starlight-night0 @teddybeartaetae @http-fayeradise​ @tannies-luv @betysotelo18 @honsoolgloss @aurorathi @paulaaa97 @satisfied18 @telepathytae @talkyoongitome

PERMANENT TAGLIST

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#bts angst #bts x reader #bts series #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung x reader #taehyung au #taehyung series #bts amnesia #taehyung amnesia #bts established relationship au #taehyung established relationship #restarting over again kth

[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 19

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: mentions of blood, a bit of gore too.

Words: 3329

A/N at the end, please read!

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashion @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae

Previous:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Taehyung could feel his blood boil. You were the softest, nicest little thing he ever met; how could anyone not like you?

Your classmates, he felt rage rumble deep underneath his skin just at the thought of them. They didn't like you? So be it. The alpha hated them like no one else, despising them.

How dare they be so unwell towards you?! You never did one thing wrong to them, and you never even whined in their presence. You always complied with and obeyed their ridiculous wants and needs.

He was pissed—no, he was furious—already standing up after pushing the broken notebook off his lap. The heavy scent of anger filled the room.

A few growls could be heard throughout the room. This was not okay, and they were not happy.

Namjoon held you close to himself, your face squished against his scent gland, his hands squeezing you to his body.

A deep rumble carried through the bottom of his chest, and a small yelp left you, making him to immediately stop.

„Baby no, no, it's okay... I'm not angry at you, pup, alright? Hm? Can you tell me their names, baby? Alpha will go and have a chat with them." He murmured, watching you closely.

Running his knuckles gently over your skin, he tried to coax the names out of you; a few of the other packmates were quick to catch on.

No omega would be happy to see violence. They would go around it for you. Their intentions were quite clear to understand, though the heavy scents they didn't carry weren't telling enough.

After Yoongi came back in the middle of your soft stuttering like sobs when you were telling them what has been going on for a while now, he soon listened in and understood.

He was more than angry; the alpha has never felt such irritation before. He already had quite an interesting call with your class teacher.

While the man didn't necessarily seem like a straight-up terrible man, he should have known better. Making you cry and so stressed out for a reason, purely out of your hands was more than punishable. 

And so the alpha was furious, understandably so. Jungkook also seemed to be greatly unhappy; his jaw clenched while he tightened his fists.

The still-young and quite hormonal alpha wasn't doing so well. Since the pack has pretty much already started imprinting on you, they were very unhappy, knowing that possibly their own omega has been bullied for such a long time.

„Princess, come to oppa now... Let's go take a nap for a bit, hm? I bet you are tired, sweetie." The alpha whispered out, fully aware of what would go down once you were out of earshot.

Wanting you to not have to listen too much, Jimin knew that you were probably still very tired. It was only understandable; you were an omega, and those have to sleep for long hours regularly.

Letting go of you reluctantly, the younger alpha pulled you from Namjoon's warm arms, cooing loudly and helping you wrap your legs around his waist.

Nuzzling your head, the alpha giggled softly, happy to hold you. Smiling widely, he nuzzled your cheek, letting his soft lips ghost over your skin.

Standing up, the eldest also followed along, running his fingers through your hair as you let your head rest against the alpha's collarbone, getting more sleepy by the second.

Walking up the stairs, Jimin swayed you gently, making sure you were sleepy enough as he made his way to his room.

He had a nice, spacious bed and was very aware that you would be able to sleep much better in the heavy alpha's scents surrounding you.

After all, the youngest alphas oftentimes hung out in this room, and so it was full of different smells, bringing further comfort.

Holding you to his chest with one arm, he uncovered the blanket, crawling gently on the mattress. Coming in after him, Jin waited for his packmate to settle down with you before he also went into the bed.

Spooning you, the eldest made sure to turn you away from the doors, the man's wide shoulders shielding you from view.

They needed to make sure you would be safe, especially if they were asleep at the same time as you were.

He wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling your back to his chest while Jimin gently nuzzled your cheeks and face to his warm front.

„Sleep tight, my cub. Alpha's will protect you now, baby.” Jin whispered, gently running his fingers through your hair before he too scented you a bit.

Your eyes soon closed, and the two other men were still a bit watchful and careful of their surroundings, only going to sleep after being absolutely sure nothing would disturb any of you.

And so, you were completely unaware of what was going on downstairs; the packmates were unbelievably livid like never before.

Hoseok was the first one to stand up; his jaw clenched as he started to pull on his boots and jacket, looking through the bowl full of car keys.

„Are you serious?” Taehyung asked, also standing up. Before he got to finish, the youngest packmate had already stood up, kicking over the small table before the couch, the wood shattering into pieces with a loud crack.

Jungkook was furious, his pheromones clouding the whole room. No one, not even Namjoon, said much in answer to his act, feeling just like him, if not worse.

„I'm teaching those fuckers a lesson; they will absolutely not pick on my omega. Bitches don't know what's coming." Hoseok barked out, his voice rough and cold like never before.

Soon, the alphas too got ready, all just about to do the same. Piling into one of the bigger cars, they all went to drive together.

The school wasn't too far, and so the packmates soon got there. It was just about the lunch hour now, meaning that many of the classmates were just standing outside, resting during their break.

The packmates didn't hold back for too long, the classmates apologizing with many words - the alphas weren't the ones that had to be apologized to thought.

It was you that had been so wrongly dealt with, and you never deserved such treatment. But even when the angry pack stood before the two betas, their words didn't seem sincere at all.

The man sealed his fate when he muttered about you just overreacting under his breath. Jungkook jumped into action right away, too angry to hold back any further.

Only after one of the betas jaws seemed to be just about completely disconnected did the packalpha step in, pulling Jungkook off of the man.

The alpha snarled, still not done. Humming out in understanding, his elder only pulled him away further from the student, and the pack members soon pilled in together again.

There wasn't much anyone could do, especially since it happened outside of school. The pack had the full right to do whatever they pleased with the students since it only went with the law.

It was one of the more recent ones; after more and more reports regarding fights and murders, always with similar reasoning, resurfaced, the law changed, and the police no longer stepped in when such things happened, only going over them after to file a report if needed.

A pack was allowed to fully deal with anyone assaulting their packmates. No matter what they were to do to them, the law fully forgave them, and there was no penalty for it as long as it was reasonable.

When the pack got back home, they still felt much anger seeping through the bond. And so, many went on towards the gym, the youngest two and the packalpha being the fastest to be there.

Yoongi and Hobi decided it was best to forget about it for now, at least for a little bit. And so they washed off all the blood on their fists and fully showered, not wanting you to have to taint your sensitive nose with the smell of blood.

Changing into completely different clothes, the two alphas made sure none of the panicked scents the classmates carried before they were fully beaten to unconsciousness wouldn't stick.

Wanting to pamper and coddle you well for a while, the pack would then decide what to do next. Going back to the school you went to was already out of the question; the alphas were more than protective enough to even allow you to come close to the building again.

The two alphas decided that the creamy rose tteokbokki would serve as a good, filling, warm meal for your soft little belly.

And so they got to work, with Yoongi frying the cut-up bacon and sausages until they turned crispy and setting them aside. The other man, meanwhile, allowed the rice cakes to soak in water and diced up the onion and garlic, frying them in a different pan until they turned fragrant.

Hobi added dashi and milk, stirring it until it turned hot. He then poured in the heavy cream, gochujang, and a few other things. The sauce soon formed a comfortable orange shade.

The rose tteokbokki was a much milder version, which is key for you to be able to enjoy it. It was a creamy and cheesy meal, and the alphas were sure you would enjoy it a lot.

And so, the older alpha thinly sliced the fish cakes, adding the peeled boiling eggs. He made sure to boil at least eight or nine, blanching them in ice-cold water before starting to peel the shell off.

Hoseok then added the meat and rice cakes, turning off the heat and letting the mozzarella and Swiss cheese melt. Incorporating it, he sprinkled in a small bit of sesame oil.

Preparing eight deep plates, the alpha started serving everyone, always sprinkling on a bit of spring onion. It was best to eat it while it was still hot.

Taking the four plates each, the alphas started to walk slowly upstairs, the chopsticks and a few spoons pocketed in their pants.

Opening the doors slowly, Hobi walked in first, smiling widely when he saw the two alphas holding you so close.

Jin woke up right away, turning around quickly and looking over his shoulder while he pulled you closer to himself.

Recognising his packmates, he sighed out, laying back against the pillow, his shoulder sagging.

Coming closer, Yoongi looked over his elder's shoulder, cooing gently and caressing your cheek. You looked cuddly like never before, your face squished against the younger man's chest, his own head laying against the top of yours, covering you softly.

Even in his sleep, the alpha stayed protective, his warm hands holding you close. If anyone would even try to take you away, Jimin would wake up immediately; Yoongi was sure of it.

Placing the many plates down on the floor, Hobi went to wake them all up, Jin slowly blinking the sleep away. They didn't get to sleep for too long, but lunch had passed long before.

Most of the alphas already left the gym, with Jungkook being the last. Also washing themselves, the men were ready for some late lunch, with Yoongi taking them to Jimin's room.

They wouldn't be able to fit really comfortably, but they didn't care. You seemed happy in the bed, with many blankets and pillows around you, soft against your fingers.

Sitting up, Jimin placed you on his lap with your back right against his chest, resting himself against the headboard.

He was still more than tired. He was used to sleeping in late during their vacation time, and since they entered hiatus, he had more time to replenish his energy.

Sure, they were still planning many performances, but the alphas were now focusing more on their solo careers, and after so many years of endless stress and work, they were happy to finally let up for a bit.

The packmates realised that it was important to help you settle in well, and so they were planning on staying home and overall be with you more often.

They already had many vacations planned ahead, wanting to enjoy true packlife for the first time since their childhood.

Staying in, huddled together in a den, was a part of such activities, but since the alphas were usually not really cuddly and soft with one another, only very little, they didn't have a proper one.

They would invest in a nice, big mattress soon, though, making sure you would have a nice place where you could rest and nest. It was very important.

And so, the packmates all soon one after another littered in, their hair still a bit damp, but they didn't want to spend any time away from you, preferring instead to stay with you.

It was complicated for the alphas to have you out of their sight for now, and that feeling will definitely take a while to outgrow.

Squeezing in closer to one another, the pack members climbed into the bed, soon chewing on the meal. You reached for your own plate, but your palms were soon gently pulled back to your lap.

Tutting you softly, Taehyung already had a bite on a spoon, just before your lips. You turned away, hiding your cheek in Jimin's shoulder, too shy to take a bite.

„Babycheeks, baby, let Alpha help, ...sweetie; come on, be a good girl now, hm?” Quick to coax you out, the man plucked the bite right between your plush-like lips, smiling widely as you chewed.

„Hm... Is it good, sunny bub?” Hobi asked, running his palm over your head. He felt himself preening at the thought of you enjoying the food he made.

And you liked it; the spice was not too much for you, letting you enjoy the meal well. You nodded vigurously at the taste of chewy rice cakes and crispy bacon, a heavy combination.

The packmates made sure your cheeks wouldn't be left empty for any longer than necessary, keeping you well fed above themselves.

The most tasty bites were reserved for your tastebuds only, with the alpha pheromones wafting widely throughout the room.

Now that they had done what was necessary to your classmates, they were left with the aftermath of the sudden rage, worry, and protectiveness clouding their senses.

Warming you up between many blankets, the pack rested together, and the food soon finished. Handing you a water bottle lying around, Yoongi held it to your lips, not allowing you to drink fully by yourself.

Cooing at how well you swallowed, he praised you gently, patting your hair. „Good girl...” He whispered, smiling softly.

The alphas felt relief that you were once again safely tucked away in their arms, with no intruder able to harm you.

Looking at you fondly, the packalpha knew that he had to clear up some confusion regarding their next steps.

„Pup, let's talk now, okay? About what will happen now, baby... Listen to alphas explain for a little bit, my sweetest girl.” He said, sighing out before he continued.

Namjoon realised well that going all alpha against the teacher and classmates probably wasn't the best idea they had, but at the time and for the right reasons, it felt right.

He was still quite careful and reasonable, making sure none of the students or even the teacher would be harmed so much they would have harsh health issues in the future.

Things like smaller scars would keep the memories of their past mistakes fresh. The packmates didn't do much but threw a few punches here and there, mostly just wanting to make sure, nothing like that would ever happen again.

The pack alpha realised that some sort of police officer regarding pack affairs would probably knock on their pack house doors the upcoming morning, but he was more than ready to explain everything.

All of the pack members documents were well updated, and you didn't really need any yet since you weren't properly a part of the pack.

Until you get marked at least.

Your ID was well above enough, and he was sure you had some sort of identification tucked away somewhere in your wallet.

Namjoon knew that even if what they did was a bit drastic, it was absolutely reasonable and not even overreacting. Alphas get more protective if their own omegas are in harm's way.

„I don't think any of us will agree with you coming back to your college now; do you understand why, sweetheart? It's not safe for you, and alphas really really really don't like that, okay?”

With his packmates nodding along, a few of the men ran their fingers over you, softly shushing any questions you might have. Everything would be explained soon; you didn't have to worry about a thing now.

„Yea cub, it's really not good for you, okay? But I can imagine you still want to continue your studies, don't you?" The eldest asked, his hand resting against the back of your head.

You nodded quickly. Good education was the key to everything, and you loved art. If you got the chance to unlock the doors of new possibilities with it, you were more than interested.

„Okay, princess, that's a good thing, baby. I'm very proud of you.”

Jimin whispered in your ear, his chin running over your head in soft, gentle caresses. His scent went over you; the mixture of your natural aroma with his created a nice new mix.

„You could always try to go to a different school, babycheeks, but I think that isn't really the best solution." One of the younger alphas said, Your palm held in his while he watched you closely. 

„I don't think so either. Such stress isn't healthy for you, bunnybun; we can't have that now, can we?” Jungkook said, smiling to try and lift the mood a little.

„Absolutly not. I thought about online lessons instead; how about that kitten? Would you like that, hm?” Yoongi cooed at you, bopping your nose softly.

Thinking over the possibilities, you shrug your shoulders, not sure what it would really mean.

„I thought about that too. It would be a lot easier with our schedule, and it would be much more personal and professional.

I think you would also learn much more cub. And it should be less stressful too, since you would never have to be with so many new people again." Namjoon said, coaxing you to gently nod. You weren't fully sure yet, but you trusted them a lot, and they valued that even more.

„I'm not sure yet oppa... But I can try. I think online classes would be a bit better too, as long as I have some sort of studio I can still visit for all the things I need.” You said.

You never had an easy time making new friends, and so school with so many different people often caused issues and unreasonable stress.

Art school especially could be quite nerve-wracking, and the alphas realised that well. They wanted to make sure you wouldn't drop like that again, prevention was key.

Smiling widely at you, Hobi felt his mood lift a bit. „Thank you so much sunshine... Alpha will set up everything for you; you don't have to worry about a thing. Our small baby can just rest her pretty eyes.”

You felt yourself blush a little, turning your gaze away from the alpha. Laughing even louder, he ran his fingers over your ankles softly, your legs stretched out over his lap.

„I'll look up some teachers later, okay, pup? You can choose of course my baby. How about we watch some movies for now? I thought we could go to the mall later; how bout that?”

The alphas realised well that you needed a few necessities, like some new clothes like different undergarments. You didn't pack that many the few nights before.

„Oh, and also, I called with one of the doctors for omegas, sweetheart; I'll make you an appointment soon, okay? The medicine your older doctor gave you isn't good for you, pup.”

„If you want to take the heat suppressants, you can cub, that is your thing to decide upon. But still, you should have a check up. It's important to have those regularly.”

Namjoon and Jin said, your palm caressed between his. Smiling at you reassuringly when he smelled anxiousness go through your scent, the alphas surrounding you were quick to step in, making sure you knew that you were safe and sound.

„Sh-sh-sh, babycheks, don't fret little baby. Alpha is here, right here."

„No princess, don't worry. Alphas are here now, and you don't need to be scared, baby.”

„That's right, peaches, don't be afraid of anything. Doctors aren't scary cubs, and we will be there the whole time; how about that?”

„...hm? Of course, bunbun, if you want to, I'll hold your hand the entire time; of course, alpha will. You are such a good girl, aren't you?”

„Yes, kitty, you can sit on oppa's lap too if you'll feel like it. You can always sit on alpha's lap, my kitten.”

 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

A/N: okay, I'll be honest. I'm not so sure how I feel about the violence in this chapter, I'm not fully sure. I understand that a lot of you feel angry at the classmates for being unfair and mean to the MC, but I don't fully like how I wrote this.

I don't think everything is understandable well, since the pack dynamics overall are just like that in my story and I hope it's to no one's issue.

I don't want this to be a yandere themed story!

I might edit parts of it though, so if it changes a bit, please don't be worried.

Lots of love, take care of yourself :)

Next:

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts #bts a/b/o #bts imagine #bts jimin #bts omegaverse #hybrid bts #bts namjoon #bts ot7 #bts yoongi #bts jin #bts seokji #bts taehyung #bts jungkook #bts hoseok #bts hobi #bts jhope #bts rm #bts suga #bts v #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #jeon jungkook #park jimin #kim taehyung #v #suga

[hellbornsworld]

ALL BTS MEMBERS WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(1)⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆

☁︎ dirty minds | drugdealer!jk X innocent!oc | college au | Author : pinkbunny | 55 chapters | Completed |

➳ She's too innocent for his tastes. But it's only a matter of time before he can turn that pure mind into a dirty one.

☁︎ Flower Boy | Kim Taehyung x reader | Twins au | Author : MysterySender | 35 chapters | Completed |

«Kim Taehyung keeps on sending flowers to your twin sister's grave.»

☁︎not in a million years | GrimReaper!MinYoongi X Reader | Author : mociminji | 50 chapters | Completed |

"I promise I would never leave you, not in a million years."

"Stop lying, Yoongi. Why promise me a million when you don't even live a hundred years?"

"What if I say I do?"

A cliché story about Min Yoongi who fell in love with his human, you. Because, why not?

☁︎Through My Eyes | Blind!Jimin X Reader | Author : Suga__Fox | 103 chapters | Slowburn | Completed |

"You don't have to see love Darling, you feel it. When you feel it you will know, because you would rather die than live a day without it."

☁︎𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚 𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 | Mafia!Namjoon X Daycare!Reader | Cliché | Author : chewymilkyoda | 62 chapters | Completed |

Y/N Han works as a daycare worker from morning till noon. One day, she received a new kid to take care of and unknown to her that the kid's father is actually a very dangerous mafia leader that everyone goes by RM. And when RM laid his eyes on his daughter's daycare teacher he's obsessed instantly.

☁︎𝐌𝐀𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘 | prince!Seokjin x village girl!reader | Author : tropicalxsabotage | 20 chapters | Completed |

❝I wish we could've met a totally different way. I hate to admit it, but I won't deny it...

I wish you would fall for me the way I feel I'm falling for you. If only.❞

☁︎𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐒 ✇ �... | ghost!Hoseok x human!reader | Author : tropicalxsabotage | 20 chapters | Completed |

❝No one ever expected it to be me,❞ Hoseok smirks chillingly. ❝I'm the one with the sweet smile.❞

☁︎ 16 Love Letters | Writer!jk X HairStylist!Reader | Author : igotbangtan_7 | 22 chapters | Ongoing |

What's a "love story" without a little darkness?

Yours Truly

JJK

☁︎ Casanova | RichKid!jk X flamenco dancer!OC | Author : jinownsmyass | 43 chapters | Completed |

❝You make the stars jealous, mi amor.❞

- In which the richest, most eligible bachelor of Seville lusts for a flamenco dancer below his class.

☁︎Lonely White Wolf | Hybrid!Yoongi X Human!Reader | Author : mociminji | 42 chapters | Completed |

In which, Min Yoongi, a lonely wolf who fell in love with his own mate's little sister, you.

☁︎Hacked | Hacker!kth X Hacker!Reader | Author : someonepassingby | 26 chapters | Ongoing |

''I'll turn your software into hardware''

☁︎He's a Demigod | Demigod!jk X Human!Reader | Crack au | Author : Atlantaes | 51 Chapters | Completed |

"You were supposed to be a bath bomb!"

"Well turns out its your lucky day, sweetheart, cause you just got something ten times better: me."

☁︎Agent Love | Agent!jk X Genie!Reader | Author : Atlantaes | 46 chapters | Completed |

"Watch where you're putting your hands, Agent Love."

In which a love genie who sucks at names and a renegade government agent are put together.

☁︎Polar Night | Older!kth x Reader | AgeGap au | Author : Amoc94 | 11 chapters | Completed |

He was a patient man.

He wouldn't mind to wait for the right time to reap what he thought he deserved. He had lived in the dark for far too long, that happiness was such a foreign notion for him. Until you crossed his path and awakened something deep inside him. Until he realized there was indeed glowing light on the other side of his world, just a flicker at the end of the journey he had to conquer.

Until the sunshine he had waited became you.

☁︎Secret Admirer | Student!Yoongi X Student!OC | Author : daralolli | OC is whipped | 56 chapters | Completed |

In which a girl has a big crush on the basketball player, min yoongi but she has a secret admirer who has been giving bottles of banana milk with sticky notes every day to her.

☁︎Unforgivable | Boyfriend BFF!kth X Reader | Author : SingularitaeAddict | Side : JK X Reader | 52 chapters | Completed |

"If someone loves you, they'd never put themselves in a position to hurt you."

☁︎COME TO ME | Pjm X Reader | Slowburn | Author : notmylilmochi | 103 chapters | Completed |

The story of a man who abandons his wife and son to be with his mistress in a foreign country. However, his world is turned upside down when he receives news that his son has fallen ill with a rare and life-threatening illness.

☁︎FUCKBOY | BFF!Yoongi X Reader | Side : JHS X Reader | Author :

Jiminttrash | 26 chapters | completed |

"It's me or that fuckboy, so choose."

☁︎sins so sweet | Badboy!jk X Innocent!Reader | Crack au | Author : ArmyArchives | 19 chapters | Ongoing |

"I'll make you feel so good, my pretty"

In which y/n is too innocent for the kinky bad boy Jeon Jungkook

☁︎The Roommate Rulebook | HopelessRomantic!Jk X Innocent!Reader | Slowburn | Author : kkookteokki | 78 Chapters | Ongoing |

When the campus heartthrob Jeon Jungkook who's actually a secret, self-professed romantic at heart, and the innocent country girl Kim Y/N, who's actually not as timid and docile as she seems, end up sharing a dorm for the semester, both discover that there's much more to their relationship than what meets the eyes.

☁︎siamese twins | PJM X OC | Twins AU | Author : dearjimin | 31 chapters | completed |

they both loved him

but he only loved one of them.

♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.♡‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾

OTHER POSTS:

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(1)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(2)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS(3)

JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATION(4)

ALL BTS MEMBERS WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(1)

BTS X READER WATTPAD RECOMMENDATIONS(2)

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #bts masterlist #bts imagine #bts ff #jimin #park jimin #bts jimin #jiminie #bts #bangtan #jungkook #bangtan sonyeondan #namjoon #yoongi #suga #suchwita #min yoongi #jin #seokjin #jhope #taehyung #tae #taetae #kim taehyung #bts v #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #fanfic #jungkook rec

[hamsterclaw]

Fic Library: Yoongi (Pt 2)

My ult bias, it makes sense that there were too many to fit into one list. All of these authors capture the essence of my favourite tsundere king, check these stories out and show them some love. Part 1 here.

A Steamy Conversation by @madbutgloriouspond. Yoongi x f! reader. You walk in on a half-naked, dripping wet, tangerine haired Yoongi, he's mean and cocky and the inevitable happens. Smutty perfection from Memes.

Clockwork Heart by @vyduan. Yoongi x reader. The chaebol tsundere Yoongi that I'll never stop screaming about. A brilliant, capable reader, a hot Yoongi who does secret acts of kindness, and beautifully rendered side characters including wise and witty BFF Seokjin.

Knee-high by @jjungkookislife. Yoongi x reader in an established relationship. A sexy, skirt wearing, orange haired, watermelon chapstick using Yoongi with a lip piercing in a smutty, enjoyable read.

I'm not even gonna say it by @taetaespeaches. Yoongi x reader. An incredibly cute, fluffy read, where Yoongi stops for lemonade on a swelteringly hot day.

Fireworks by @starlostjimin. Yoongi x f! reader in an established relationship. A soft, fluffy, spicy story with the domestic Yoongi of my dreams.

Too hot to sleep by @gamerguk. Fiance Yoongi x reader - a short, smutty read with a hilarious cameo from Hobi at the end.

The Sweetest Thing by @illneverrecover. A super cute sweet treat featuring a grumpy florist Yoongi and a baker reader.

Kinkmas Day Four drabble by @monimonimoon. A deliciously hot, petty co-worker Yoongi at the office Christmas party.

On the nature of living by @sugalaritae. Griddle's an incredible writer, and this very beautiful story starts off with Yoongi x a ghost reader and resonates so much with me emotionally.

Home by @junghelioseok. Secret agent AU with Yoongi x reader. Short, sweet and comforting.

Set me free by @hesperantha. A time-travel tale with tragedy of epic proportions. You won't have read anything else quite like it.

The one with Yoongi, Netflix and zero chill by @eoieopda. A hilarious reader, a fluffy and cuddly Yoongi and softness and feelings all round.

Yoongi is a rock by @yoongsisbae. A beautifully written story that made me think about mortality and constancy and has the singularly beautiful line ‘And when Yoongi cracked he thought of you’. It gives me chills remembering it. Stunning.

The one with Yoongi and the fucking hydrangeas by @eoieopda. I knew I was in for angst when I started reading but I didn't bank on the beautifully realised longing and characters I wanted to cry for. I adore this.

Best served cold by @anotherbtswriter. Yoongi and afab reader in a mafia AU with drama, tsundere Yoongi energy and a duplicitous family. Riveting.

Bao by @whatifyoulivelikethat. Delivery boy Yoongi x chef reader. One of the first Yoongi stories I read, and have re-read so many times since then. This Yoongi's so perfectly characterised, and there's a cameo from a sexy model Taehyung too.

Dominance and Domesticity by @theharrowing. A Yoongi who doms you in the bedroom and also does ironing? Where do I sign up? Sexy perfection.

Cybersex by @gimmethatagustd. Yoongi x f! reader. Reader is a phone sex hotline operator in this brother's best friend AU. Featuring a hot, confident, capable Yoongi who nearly set my screen on fire.

Shameless by @vyduan. Idolverse AU with Yoongi and reader. A stunning story, part of the Her multiverse series, with complex, layered characters that are so beautifully human. One of the first stories I read when I started reading BTS fanfic, and one I won't forget.

#fic rec: yoongi #fic rec list #yoongi fics

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

favor, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Everyone thinks you and Jeon Jungkook should date for world peace. Their world peace, as in they are totally sick of girls chasing Jungkook around like starving wolves trying to take a bite out of a polite but very unwilling bunny. Pair the bunny with the human personification of fuck you and all their problems are solved! You are not amused.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; ft Kim Seokjin as your brother; slice-of-life, slow burn, romantic kind of... it's me, ya know; smut (fem reader, the tiniest bit of a D/s dynamic, almost flashing your ass in a public park, sensory deprivation, chest appreciation(???), nipple play, m-receiving oral, handjob, edging (himself), cowgirl, multiple orgasms); non-idol!AU

--

“I need you to kiss me.”

“Wut.”

You jerked up as someone tried to climb on top of you.

“I need you to kiss–”

It took you mere seconds to shove the person down onto the chaise lounge that you had previously been, well, lounging on. White jersey fabric spilled over hot pink velvet. You grabbed his shoulder and rammed it into the back of the heavy tufted chair. He squirmed in your hand and you gripped tighter, digging your nails in. You heard ruckus; his name was being called in a breathy pitch.

“The fuck are you talking about?” you scowled.

Breathless, hurried. “I need to look taken.”

You pinned your knee to his abdomen. The man winced, discomfort adding to the panic in his facial expression.

“Please,” Jeon Jungkook gasped. “Do me this favor.”

His black hair was all over his face, framing big, deep, dark brown eyes and flushed cheeks. Trembling lips with a glint of silver, the lip piercing that everyone liked to rant about. He swung his arm and you caught his wrist, pushing it down. Leaned in. Jungkook was undeniably stronger than you. He could throw you off at any time.

As you came closer to his face, Jungkook became as rigid as Jell-O, gawking at you with dinner plates for eyes.

You stopped millimeters from his bated breath.

“I don’t need to actually kiss you to make it seem like I did,” you whispered to his open mouth, gazing into those irises that shimmered like pools of glimmering chocolate. “And I don’t need to kiss you to make you look taken, either.”

You nicked your nail against the inside of his wrist and Jungkook shuddered, his chin rising and yours tucking back, avoiding the shape of those pink lips. Held his shoulder securely, keeping him in place under you, the sounds of the party petering out in the stillness that was Jeon Jungkook staring into your eyes, pelting you with unspoken questions.

You realized your breathing was a little erratic.

You pressed your lips together, then your forehead to his. Raised an eyebrow, an action he felt more than saw.

“Why are you running from them?” you murmured, barely breathing.

You meant the girls chasing him around. There were always girls chasing Jeon Jungkook. He was too hot for his own good. Puberty stuck hard and way too fast, leaving Jungkook confused and cowering behind the safety of his older friends as he attempted to understand why so many people suddenly wanted his attention.

“I… I…”

You clicked your tongue, understanding his stutters. “Jimin and Taehyung wandered off, huh?”

You heard Jungkook’s name again.

You tilted your head and licked his cheek.

You heard his breath catch in his throat followed by the ghost of your name.

You raised your head, fast but lazy, rolling your eyes exaggeratedly, sitting on top of Jeon Jungkook like he was living room furniture rather than a person. You were getting real tired of being Jungkook’s meat shield to fend off half the human race.

“I licked him. He’s mine.”

You glared at the approaching girls, gasping and whispering behind their hands.

“Get lost,” you growled.

Jungkook’s wrist turned in your palm and he took your hand.

-

“You know, he’s totally your type.”

“He’s totally fucking not,” you responded calmly, holding the banana milk more by the straw than by the carton. It nearly slipped and you reluctantly snapped two fingers under it, balancing it as you spoke and sipped. “Why are we talking about him again?”

“I’m just saying,” the insistent baritone voice continued as you leaned back in the chair, dangerously on the two back legs, metal screaming against concrete as Kim Taehyung paraded around the café tables that they were his stage. “He’s cute, hot, kind, diligent, and he trusts you.”

“You’re just sick of fending off the women and low-key jealous that maybe he might get more numbers than you by not trying at all.”

Taehyung smacked his big palm onto the red-painted aluminum table beside you.

“No.”

Sounded way too defensive to be true.

You raised your eyebrows and sucked real hard, creating a loud echoey suction due to the lack of fluid in the straw.

Those dark eyes squinted at you under waves of black-brown hair. His golden skin caught the afternoon sunlight, lips twisting in annoyance at your press-X-to-doubt expression.

“I am not jealous,” Taehyung said slowly, evenly. “He does need help though.”

You swung the empty container of banana milk by the straw, chuckling around it. “Uh huh. Not from me.”

Taehyung threw up his hands and kicked one of the chairs, sliding into it so he could flop down, poking the air between you and him. “Come on. Think about it. Jungkook totally suits you. He combats all of your negative qualities – stubborn, abrasive, intimidating, hates everybody.”

You let both eyebrows lift this time. If not for physical constraints, they would have rocketshipped to the fucking moon.

“Hah?”

Taehyung waved his hands dismissively as if he didn’t just insult you. “It would really help everyone if you two, you know,” he sing-songed, wiggling his fingers together like seaweed or perhaps tentacles from two weird monsters. Implying… something. “Discovered the magic between you two.”

You blinked slowly.

“Are you drunk? Was there something in that soda from the vending machine?”

Taehyung shot you a deadpan glare. “Just date him and shit.”

“No. Why should I do that?”

“Because you can and it would help everyone involved!”

“Who else is involved?”

“Literally everyone!”

“Why would everyone be involved?” you spat, dropping the banana milk carton, only for Taehyung to catch it and toss it in the trash can several meters away, getting it in on the first try.

“Because! You suit each other! Everyone thinks so!”

-

Kim Seokjin nearly spat his entire gulp of water all over Park Jimin.

“My sister? Hell to the fucking no!”

Jimin cowered behind his arms and made a face at the older man, who began coughing and choking and generally dying, all because Jimin asked Seokjin if it was a good idea for Jeon Jungkook to date, well, his sister, which was apparently a bad idea. At least to Seokjin’s ears.

“Hyung, are–”

“Don’t touch me, you want to do my sister!” Seokjin wheezed. “Fucking… My sister?!” He looked like he was about to pass out on the spot.

“I don’t want to do anything,” Jungkook shot back, waving his hands around. “I don’t know what Jimin is going on about.”

Seokjin looked highly offended. “Excuse me, you think you’re too good for my sister?”

“I didn’t say that–”

“Yah, you better not, even my sister is way too pretty for the likes of you!”

“Well, yeah, she’s good-looking, everyone in your family is–”

“Oi, she’s drop-dead gorgeous, which reminds me, why aren’t you dead for wanting to touch my sister?”

“You’re sending mixed signals, hyung,” Jimin butted in as Jungkook’s brain swirled in confusion on whether he was supposed to find his hyung’s sister hot or not. The youngest kept sputtering, this wasn’t my idea, but Seokjin was having none of it, wagging his finger in the air and jabbing Jungkook repeatedly in the pecs, to which the other male responded by slapping the prodding hands away, thus starting a light fight.

Jimin wedged himself between them, grabbing Seokjin’s broad shoulders with some effort, struggling to shake some sense into him. “Hey! Hey, hear me out.”

“I’m not listening to shit–”

“Your sister is basically evil incarnate.”

Seokjin huffed, flipping the ends of his hair. “There can only be one pure angel in this family.”

Jungkook mouthed behind Jimin’s head, hello, he just insulted your sister? Seokjin pretended not to see.

“If he dates your sister, one, she’ll totally mellow out. She’ll develop a soft spot for him.”

The self-declared most handsome man in the room contorted his very handsome face into sheer disbelief. “Are you being serious right now?” Seokjin scoffed.

“She will! Look at him.”

Jungkook put on his best, most charming what-the-actual-fuck face, because that was what he was feeling right now.

Jimin barreled on, ignoring his reaction. “Two, we’ll finally cut out those annoying girls that follow us around because they think Jungkook is some kinda rock-n-roll star with his tattoos and shit. They totally won’t approach if she’s around.”

“That’s because she’s evil,” Seokjin grumbled.

“Three, you really want some ugly dude as your brother-in-law? At least you know Jungkook.”

“Oh, yeah, an idiot is so much better!”

“Hey!” Jungkook yelled.

“Yah, I can say that because I’m an idiot.”

“That… doesn’t make any sense!”

Jimin ignored Jungkook’s outburst and shoved him aside, waving his small hands in front of Seokjin’s face in attempt to avoid any more light fighting. “Hey! Hey! At least talk to her about it. Come on. She’s cool, she’s smart, she’s tough, and she’s not gonna let anyone talk shit. She’ll protect Jungkook.”

Seokjin winced, giving Jimin a disgusted look. “Who wants to date my sister, you or him?”

Jungkook frowned. “I don’t need protection.”

Jimin spun around, exasperatedly rolling his eyes. “Bro, you are too fucking nice to tell people no and get caught up in conversations that are way too long and too invasive. Taehyung and I have to basically prevent you from being kidnapped every single time we go out!”

Jungkook’s frown turned into a determined pout. “I can fend for myself.”

Jimin stared at him.

Jungkook sighed and looked away.

“Hey.” Seokjin relented, crossing his arms. “You actually want to date my sister or what? Don’t play around.”

Both Jimin and Seokjin watched as Jungkook’s ears began turn from pink to red, then the full-on flush crept onto his cheeks. He quickly ticked his head, throwing black strands over his eyes that were shifting a little too rapidly from side to side. Hands in his pockets and he looked at neither of his hyungs, the expected answer on the tip of his tongue, but for some reason Jungkook couldn’t say it, remaining tight-lipped and sealed, silenced by the truth.

“Yah, you’re taking a long time to say no…!”

-

You spun around, surprised by the lingering footsteps even after you released that hand.

“The hell? You’re still with me?”

He blinked, looking back with those deep, dark brown eyes.

“Of course, I’m still with you.”

You raised your eyebrows at Jeon Jungkook and his windswept black hair, his white long-sleeve shirt and loose black athletic pants flapping in the wind. He had a black cap on when he walked through the door, but it seemed to have disappeared somewhere in between mumbled hellos and trying to jump on top of you to demand a kiss.

“Aren’t you gonna go back and find your friends?” you asked off-handedly, walking along the sidewalk backwards, sticking your hands into your acid-wash black denim jacket. “I helped you already.”

Jungkook shook his head, following your wayward steps.

“I don’t want to go back there. It’s not fun anymore.”

It’s not fun anymore.

You quickly turned around, speeding up the pace. Sucked the inside of your cheek, creating a loud popping sound. There was no lie there. How could it be fun anymore? It was probably fun the first couple times, but now it was probably just exhausting for someone who wanted to be left alone.

“Why do you go to Hoseok’s parties?” he asked, trotting to catch up.

You shrugged. “Free booze.”

Jungkook frowned at you. “You don’t even drink.”

You shot him a playful smirk. “Could start.” Spun your finger by your head. “Get crazy. Fuck somebody. Or somebodies. Ruin relationships I don’t care about. Get into a fight.”

Something flickered in those black-brown orbs. Doubt? Annoyance?

Jealousy?

“You wouldn’t do that.”

You shrugged. “I might.”

“You’re secretly nice.”

You snorted, keeping it as inelegant as possible. “Oh yeah? Who told you that?” Layered the sarcasm on thick. “God?”

And Jungkook looked at you, those big, deep, dark brown eyes, searching for who you were.

“Yoongi-hyung.”

Your shoulders froze up. You kept walking, swift and sharp, Jungkook in stride beside you. Suddenly, you couldn’t quite look at him. You heard the sound of a car and it was slowing down. Pestering pitched voices. You scowled, grabbing Jungkook’s hand, breaking out into a run in your thick-soled black boots.

“Run with me,” you laughed, forcing it out to patch over the awkwardness.

“We’re already running!”

-

“Hey. Sorry. Is your brother here?”

“Oh, no, sorry. He went on his own to practice his lines at the studio.”

“Ah.”

A beat of disappointed silence.

“Okay. Sorry to bother you.”

You reached out and grabbed the sleeve of that parka, stopping those downcast eyes shrouded with hair and a black baseball cap pulled low. The man stopped turning around. Glanced at your hold, then up at you.

You gave him a half-smile, tugging at Min Yoongi’s sleeve.

“I marinated some pork. Come on, eat dinner with me.”

He let out a breath he had been holding. “Ah, no. No, I don’t want to bother you.”

“You’re just gonna go out and eat crap fast food anyway,” you chided, rolling your eyes. “Eat a real meal or I’ll never hear the end of it from that big mouth.” You meant your brother. You saw that Yoongi knew that, a twinkle appearing in the dullness that was those eyes hiding behind a curtain of black strands.

“I can cook on my own, you know.”

It was a weak refusal.

“Yeah, but you’re not going to, are you?” you pointed out.

There was silence that melded with a thousand unspoken words between you and him. You held onto his parka, stubborn and unyielding, and you could tell he wanted his silence, but you weren’t giving it to him, and, in the end, he gave up, stepping into the house. You closed the front door behind him. Let him have his routine. Everyone had one. Some took their coat off first, some their shoes, some neatly, some haphazardly.

You turned around after hearing nothing for several seconds.

Yoongi looked back at you, raising the brim of his hat.

“Guess you two are related, huh.”

You made a face of mock disgust. He laughed softly. Rolled your eyes and wandered off to the kitchen to finish the meal you had been making. Yoongi followed, asking if he could help. You had him cut up the pa-kimchi to more sizable pieces. The rest of the time was quiet, save for the sound of popping oil and crisping meat. He knew where all the bowls and chopsticks were. Nodded in thanks as you served him sizzling pork and vegetables on top of white rice, sliding it in front of him first before immediately facing the sink to clean the pan.

Yoongi waited until you were done and ate with you.

“It’s too hot to eat right away,” was his excuse.

You let him have his excuse, nodding in agreement.

He chewed carefully as you shoved a big bite in your mouth.

“It’s good.”

You covered your lips as you spoke. “Who do you think taught him? Best investment of my life.”

Yoongi smiled and that was that.

You chewed, savory spice coating your tongue, watching him. He noticed and looked up from his food, black cap removed and beside him now. Still hiding, guarded in his gaze, but curious at your undivided attention. You could tell he expected you to look away, but you did not, still chewing, taking in his pale face, dark circles, flattened straight black hair.

You swallowed.

“Why do you want to talk to him, anyway?” you asked. “Did he do something stupid?”

Yoongi let out a puff of amusement, shaking his head. “No. Hyung didn’t do anything.”

You nodded. The meal blanketed in silence once again. You were standing at the counter as Yoongi sat at one of the barstools. You placed your chopsticks down and reached over to the cabinet, taking out a small glass. Went to the fridge. Took out a bottle of soju.

Poured some into the glass and placed it in front of Yoongi.

He raised his eyebrows. A mute question. You pointed to the meat, then to him.

“It’s a heavy meal. You need some lightness to wash it down.”

You let it be known. He searched your eyes. You didn’t hide. A thousand words in that silence. He could see that you knew despite him not saying anything. Maybe not the details, the specifics, the exact reasons, but you understood and you did not ask for elaboration.

Yoongi smiled, nodding once, and that was enough.

You put the soju back and continued eating. Spaced out.

“I sometimes wish I was more like hyung,” Yoongi said after several sips of soju.

“Head empty, no thoughts?” you chuckled, nibbling on a scallion. “Yeah, pretty hard to have an existential crisis when you have no thoughts about existence in the first place.”

Inquisitive expression. “Bothers you?”

You hummed, sucking the side of your teeth to dislodge some food. Thought about it. “No.” You glanced at Yoongi.

You could see he didn’t believe you.

You gave him a half-smile. Sighed a little. “It would be really easy to hate him,” you mused, separating a bite of rice with your chopsticks. “But he didn’t do anything. He didn’t ask to exist, didn’t know life was easy because he was the firstborn son, didn’t know to wonder what I was thinking or how I felt about this or that.” You chuckled, popping the rice into your mouth, tucking it into your cheek, chewing lightly. “I wouldn’t know how to respond to those questions even if he asked them. He just kept being nice to me even when I was mean and, when I asked him why, Seokjin said, because I’m your brother and you’re my sister.” You swallowed and rolled your eyes, hanging your head to the side as your line of sight settled on Yoongi sitting beside you.

One of your brother’s friends, relatively quiet, close to only those that he knew well.

He was close to Seokjin.

Your brother was always himself. Your brother was never discouraged. Your brother made the world laugh, filled it with brightness, even to the point of making himself look like an idiot. Not because it was his nature, but mostly because he wanted his loved ones to remember that he was always there for them. You knew you were more like him than you let on, but you chose to hide behind bitterness at, well, nothing really, being mad at society was pointless, and yet it was a sting that couldn’t be ignored, so you maintained a tough exterior, hoping everyone would get the hint and leave you the fuck alone.

It was never Seokjin’s fault that you lived in his shadow but society sure enjoyed constantly reminding you about it.

You scoffed and shook your head.

“I’d hate him except he’s the best, so I don’t.”

Yoongi hummed. “Mmm.”

You collected what was left in your bowl and cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

His face didn’t change. Almost bored. Borderline expressionless.

“It’s pretty unfair that everyone in this family have healing personalities and are good-looking.”

You felt your face freeze up, sudden heat at your cheeks and ears.

“Don’t come onto me after I’ve made you a meal. You’re making it weird.”

You heard Yoongi chuckle but you didn’t watch, bringing the bowl to your mouth and wolfing down the last bit of your food, busying yourself with the dirty dishes to avoid his gaze. In the end, your brother didn’t come home, but the meal seemed to be enough. You watched Yoongi put on his shoes and hat, facing you now, no longer hiding behind black bangs and dull eyes.

“Thanks for the food.”

“Mmm,” was your best response, avoiding words to avoid it getting too weird.

“Next time, I’ll make a meal for you to even it out.”

The side of your lips curved into a small smirk, throwing him a challenge. “Oh? I want lamb skewers then.”

Yoongi laughed, flashing his teeth and gums, shaking his head. Brightness in those eye-smiles.

“I’m sure I could make that.”

You opened the door for him. He turned and waved a hand, walking out. Your eyes followed his back, parka and cap. Yoongi stopped when he reached the end of the steps.

Turned back around and gave you a half-smile.

For some reason, it relieved you.

You returned that half-smile and Yoongi seemed satisfied, striding down the sidewalk with confidence.

-

“Woo, jeez. I’m gonna need a drink.”

You threw yourself against the vending machine dramatically and reached into your pocket, pulling out a crumpled bill. Unceremoniously jammed it into the slot, mashing the buttons. Clang! The lemon kombucha tumbled down and you swiped for it. Cracked it open, ticking your chin at Jungkook as he skidded to a stop beside you, cheeks flushed but still too composed to be a couch potato.

Your brother was right.

Jeon Jungkook was a muscle pig.

You took a giant swig. Jungkook beamed at you, his smile like a thousand lightbulbs under the pessimistic blanket you kept over your head.

It hurt your eyes.

“That was fun,” he said, his voice breathy and fluttery.

You tapped the vending machine glass but remained against it, too out of breath to reply, masking it with your aggressive gulping of your kombucha. Avoided looking at him, feeling his heat as he stepped up to the machine, feeding in his own money and punching the numbers. Long seconds ticked past, embellished by the background music of the machinery whirring.

Then you made a mistake.

You glanced up.

Jungkook noticed immediately and made eye contact.

Something in you told you to look away, and then the second thought came to interrupt it, this isn’t a drama, look at him in the eyes, don’t be scared of some guy, and so you stared into those big, deep, dark brown eyes, pools of glimmering chocolate, barely hearing the clang of the drink dropping down. Seemed like Jungkook didn’t hear it either; his hand was pressed to the glass, each breath making his shoulders rise and fall, black hair wisping over his tanned cheekbones, parted pink lips with a mole underneath, a detail of his mouth that was just as prominent as his silver lip ring, and you knew them all because someone put it in your head that maybe, just maybe, you and Jeon Jungkook suited each other.

Maybe.

You cocked your head to the bottom of the vending machine.

“Your drink.”

Jungkook jumped, letting out the breath he had been holding, quickly grabbing the bottle awaiting him at the open slot.

Lemon kombucha.

You raised your eyebrows as he twisted it open. He caught your question, chuckling awkwardly.

“Ah… I happen to like this brand too. What are the odds…?”

You nodded dazedly, still perched against the machine. Now what? There were a lot of things you could do in this situation. A lot of things you would have done if it was someone else. Probably grab the hem of his shirt and drag him closer, make that magical moment you knew he craved, that airtight seal between your lips and his lips, steal his breath and his heart so fast that he, like so many others, wouldn’t even know it, hinting at that illusionary utopia everyone seemed to believe in.

You didn’t believe in it yourself.

You just liked to create that façade and then shatter it.

You watched Jungkook place his lips at the lip of the bottle and drink, noticing your attentive gaze and looking back, confusion and curiosity rolled together. You tilted your head, searching those pols of glimmering chocolate.

You didn’t not like him.

But you definitely didn’t want everyone to be right.

“Why’d you get the tattoos?” you suddenly asked, pointing to his right arm. The dark ink was visible even under the white jersey fabric.

He looked down as if he had just discovered his own arm. “Oh… I always wanted tattoos. I thought they were cool.”

“Is that your goal in life? To be cool?”

He looked like he was about to respond, but instead he raised his arm and reached over with his left hand to yank the sleeve of his right down, turning his forearm so that you could read the typewritten font. Rather be dead than cool. He shrugged as if this was enough of an answer.

You nodded, accepting it.

“Do you…” Jungkook hesitated, then chose to continue. “Like tattoos?”

“Me?” You laughed. “Of course. I can’t get any.”

His brows knitted together. Defiance and it wasn’t even his body. “Why not?”

You smiled.

“I know a dangerous addiction when I see one.”

-

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

A hand rested on your shoulder. You continued staring at your phone, scrolling mindlessly.

“You didn’t eat your dinner.”

You chewed on your lip.

“I’m okay, Seokjinnie.”

Your brother rubbed your shoulder gently, sitting down beside you on the couch. Just you and him now, your parents often travelling. They used their retirement to its fullest, relishing the riches of the world. You placed your head against his broad shoulder, lowering your phone.

“I’m okay,” you murmured.

Seokjin put his arm around you, leaning his head against yours. You didn’t like it when people touched you. It seemed fake, disingenuous. But not Seokjin. He used to rant and jabber on in your moods, but now he stayed silent after you told him that this was better. You used to push him away, saying that you needed to be left alone to have your epiphany on your own, but he was too protective to let you be. You both ended up settling on this, his calming touch and quiet.

“You gotta eat,” Seokjin whispered. Almost urgently. “Eating is happiness.”

Well, he tried to be silent. It was still a struggle.

“Mhm. Especially your food.”

You could tell he was beaming even though you weren’t looking at his face. Seokjin never turned down a compliment, although he seemed to enjoy the ones that he gave himself most. Yours came in second-best though.

“Why is it,” you sighed, letting your thoughts escape. “That you only start living life when you realize life means nothing?”

“Is that the formula?” Seokjin replied, his voice pitching in doubt. “What am I then? Dead?”

“You don’t think any thoughts about life. You’re just living mindlessly.”

“It’s a lot less confusing that way, you know.”

It was, but you didn’t feel like telling him that he was right.

“You think a lot in this little head of yours.”

“You think too little in that big head of yours,” you retorted, feeling his fingers massaging your scalp. Not a true statement, but bickering required a certain level of dishonesty to remain sincere.

Minutes passed. He didn’t fight you because you indulged him in a little of your troubles. You didn’t want to get too into it. He understood that. He was the same way. But sharing nothing and relying on distraction only created distance. This was the balance that formed with adulthood and learning about each other.

Still, sometimes it was better to change the subject.

“You think about what I said?” Seokjin asked casually.

Your lips curved into a half-smile. You could hear the unease and annoyance in his voice. You knew exactly what he was talking about. Or, more accurately, who.

“Yeah.”

“Crazy, right?”

“Pretty crazy.”

Silence.

“He probably has cooties.”

“They all do. Men are nasty.”

You didn’t have to see Seokjin’s squint of disapproval to know it was there. Refuting you would be counterintuitive to his goal though, so he remained in mute calculation, weighing the pros and cons. It was up to you to break him out of that math.

“Jungkook seems like an immaculate, clean person though.”

Seokjin was quick to dispute. “Are you kidding me? That kid has so much stuff. You could never make all that look neat. Hah,” he tutted, shaking his head and causing yours to move as well. “One is never enough. He needs a billion to find the perfect one.”

“Mmm. A worrying trend.”

It was a comfortable silence, but short-lived.

“You don’t have to do anything. You can pretend like no one said anything. You’re good at that.”

It was a dig; however, you were not offended. “I wasn’t gonna do anything.”

“Oh. Good.”

You could sense Seokjin’s inner struggle. “He’s not like… a bad person or anything. We get along really well,” he managed to get out with some effort.

“I know. I watch you pick a fight and lose every time.”

“I don’t lose! He doesn’t follow the rules of the match!” Seokjin whined, annoyed at his own reminiscing.

“Your rules don’t make sense.”

“Rules don’t have to make sense. They’re rules and you follow them. How else is a game supposed to be fun or worth winning if everything made sense?”

-

“Let me ask you something.”

Jungkook was crushing the empty kombucha bottles into flat pancakes to recycle them. He seemed very proud doing so, neat and orderly. “Hm?”

“Do you actually believe them? That we’re compatible?”

He punched the kombucha bottle so hard it flew off the park table and skidded several meters away.

You raised your eyebrows.

Mumbled apology, red ears, and a quick scurry later, the smashed bottle was in the recycling. You waited. Jungkook took his time with the other, flattening it better than any trash compactor out there. You almost missed his response.

“I took your name to a fortune teller,” he said quietly, not looking at you. “They said it was a good match, your name and mine.”

You frowned. “You believe that stuff?”

He nodded slowly, tossing the bottle into the recycling bin. “Yeah. I’m easily influenced.”

“Hmm.”

You stuck your hands into your acid-wash denim jacket, feeling a slight chill in your oversized t-shirt that you were using as a dress. The knit fabric was covered in cool-toned watercolor roses overlaid by a large black crescent moon. You squinted at nothing, using your black boot to kick a weed underfoot. Fortunes, huh. What could be or just a self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe this was already the latter with all the outside interference. But you had already decided that you were going to live this life however you wanted, so no matter how much others pushed, you were going to remain immobile, until…

“Do you remember that night you helped me solve that calculus problem?” Jungkook suddenly asked, cutting through your thoughts like a hot knife through butter.

Smooth.

“Yeah, you came over ‘cause I’m the only one good at math,” you snickered, running a hand through your hair. “Even though I hadn’t done calculus in years.” You sniffed, recalling the memory. “It was just an extra credit problem but you were determined to solve it.”

“You solved it.”

“Uh huh.”

“I fell asleep at around ten, but you stayed up until the middle of the night, teaching yourself how to solve it so you could teach me. You wrote it down step-by-step and even added extra notes to clarify why and what you were doing at each part.”

You sucked the inside of your cheek and felt your eyebrow twitch, looking away to the grassy area of the park. “Well, it was bothering me too. It wasn’t like it was that long ago when I learned Calculus, at the time anyway. Hah, but when you do stuff too early, sometimes you forget it too early as well.”

“I remember your face when you woke me up at three in the morning, trying to explain.” Jungkook chuckled and you snuck a peek to see his sheepish grin, his hand behind his head. Ruffled hair and distance. Too much like a drama, so you looked away quickly, chewing on the side of your lower lip. “I was too sleepy to understand, but I got it the next day when I was on the train, reading your explanation.”

“Well, you learn fast. You were good at school. Except English.”

Jungkook made a dismissive noise and whistled lightly.

You turned your head, smirk on your lips.

Facing him.

His eyes slid back, whistle disappearing. His lips were still sticking out, a soft ‘o’. It slowly dissipated, and suddenly you were aware of the sun dipping low, the streetlights turning on, daydreams slipping into starlit scenes, and they were watching you, those pools of glimmering chocolate, his voice echoing in your head, I need you to kiss me, and you raised an eyebrow, questioning it.

“I never forgot what you did for me.”

You listened to his voice, asking him wordlessly, you’re still with me, your fists in your pockets, hmph, everyone couldn’t be right, no, this was just some dumb game played by your brother’s friends who got this stupid idea in their heads and were running with it until it wasn’t fun anymore.

“You woke me up and it was like I was still dreaming,” Jungkook continued, his words like shivering glass. Strange. What was he afraid of? Seemed weird to be nervous after the earlier events of trying to climb on top of you. “You could have told me to go ask the teacher later or another classmate, but you stayed up late and taught yourself to teach me.”

Of course, I’m still with you.

You shrugged. “I knew I could do it.”

“You could have given up and called me an idiot.”

“You’re a little bit of an idiot.”

He frowned.

You shrugged again, half-smile on your lips. “It isn’t that big of a deal.”

“It is because it shows your character,” Jungkook retorted childishly.

“Who cares about that?” you scoffed, closing one eye and lifting your chin. “All this world cares about are what you look like and what you pretend to be.”

His reply was clear.

“You’re both beautiful and real.”

You flinched. Something in you was telling you to run again, but your second thought pushed it away, this is not a drama and you’re not a kid, don’t run, but there were no words you could follow up with, not when Jungkook was looking at you with those fierce, deep, dark brown eyes, tension over his features at your stubbornness, remembering he needs a billion to find the perfect one, and...

There was no such thing as the perfect one.

You sighed, looking away, then looking back, pointed eye contact, telling yourself that this wasn’t a drama and you weren’t a kid. You didn’t run from things like this and you weren’t going to.

Not then, not now, not ever.

“Why do you run from those that try to court you?” You cocked your head, referencing the large number. Not a billion but somewhere around there. “They might be there, in that mess. Your fortune or whatever.”

Jungkook looked down, but you jerked slightly, catching his gaze, not letting him run. He paused at your determination. Why do you go to Hoseok’s parties? There was something different now. You could see it in the way he was scrutinizing you, as if he just now realized something.

“Maybe.”

Or...?

“But you can make your own fortune too. I don’t want to be stuck with someone who doesn’t know what you know.”

You furrowed your brows, tilting you head. “What do I know?”

“That life means nothing,” Jungkook said, familiar words and you began to realize Jungkook was Seokjin’s friend after all and he was a lot more observant than you were giving him credit for. “And your motto is to truly live it, no matter what anyone says.”

He grinned.

All teeth and earnestness, sincerity so real it was blinding.

“I think that’s pretty fucking cool.”

You know, he’s totally your type.

He was, but then everybody started saying he was and that became annoying.

“Gah!”

You flung your hands out of your pockets. Fists to spread fingers, irritated at the words and, worse, the way the words made you feel, ignoring Jungkook’s yelp of surprise and stepping towards him, his big eyes getting bigger when your hands seized the front of his white shirt. You growled, shaking him a little roughly.

“I hate that I like you.”

And then you kissed him.

-

You gotta wake him up.

The excitement had kept you awake. You clutched pages of scribbled equations. Your various attempts at trying to decipher derivates and integrals with the same red mechanical pencil you used at university when you went not too long ago. Maybe there was some magic in it. Some magical learning bullshit, because you figured it out with only the textbook as your guide. There was no better feeling than understanding a concept that you previously thought was difficult. A very satisfying victory.

Wake him up.

You stared at Jeon Jungkook passed out on your couch. You had pulled a Pikachu blanket over him when he fell asleep and continued your trials, your brows furrowed and with one lamp on, silently concentrating over homework that wasn’t even yours.

It had bothered you greatly, not knowing.

You stared at black hair over shut eyes, the rise and fall of his broad chest, that head cushioned by those luxe faux fur cushions Seokjin had insisted on buying over two years ago at that pricey store. White because they looked clean and expensive. You thought it was a dumb idea. Your brother had promised that he would yell very loudly at his friends if they spilled anything on them. You had reluctantly agreed, chucking them into the cart.

Right now, the white fur surrounded Jungkook’s sleepy head like a soft cloud, haloing the dreamy starlit scenes that were being played out behind his closed eyelids.

He’s handsome.

You turned back to the table. Got a fresh sheet of paper, untangling the papers and re-writing the solution to the problem. Spaced-out and clear. You now knew the concepts that he understood well and those that he didn’t, adding extra explanation beside steps that fell into the latter category. The melody of graphite scratching became the background music to your thoughts you recalled back to earlier in the evening.

“This question is for extra credit,” you remembered telling him.

“I want to solve it, if I can,” he had said.

You remembered looking into his eyes, seeing the fierce determination in them.

“Okay. Let’s figure it out then.”

Later, you could tell Jungkook wanted to give up even after saying that, but he saw your perseverance and reignited his motivation, asking to try different approaches. Still, the frustration was rising every time you both hit a wall until you finally caught him nodding off, his head practically hitting the coffee table.

“Lay down for a bit.”

He didn’t have the energy to refuse, climbing into the sofa when you nudged him, and you turned back, only to feel a hand gasping at your sweater. Gentle tug. Small mumble of your name.

“S'kay… thanks for helping me… you should go sleep… zzz…”

Jungkook hadn’t let go until he was no longer awake.

There was no reason to keep trying. It wasn’t even your homework. It was an extra credit problem. Jungkook had already surrendered to his dreams. The only reason to continue was pure academic curiosity, stubbornness, and your belief that you could do it.

And you did.

Then you wrote it neatly for him to understand.

Done.

You turned back to his sleeping form. Hovered. His lips were slightly parted in his dozing state. You reached over and brushed the hair out of his eyes. Paused.

Grazed your knuckle against his cheek.

His diligence is cute.

There was something about his earnestness that had inspired you to try a little harder. That mixed with your adamant nature kept you going until you were victorious. Maybe it was a fool’s errand. Maybe it was wasted effort. Maybe it meant nothing at all.

“But you wanted to solve it,” you murmured softly to the dreaming sleepyhead wrapped up in the fuzzy pastel yellow blanket covered with Pikachu’s various adorable facial expressions. Your hand retreated, feeling a half-smile on your lips.

I like him.

It wasn’t a grand moment. No bells chimed. Sparks didn’t fly. A cheesy, serendipitous love song didn’t play in the background. In fact, Jungkook was borderline snoring, your back hurt from sitting at the coffee table for so long, and your brain was crammed with more math than the wonderful little things that made Jungkook, Jungkook, but that was the moment that you knew that you liked him. You knew, as surely as you knew the answer to the calculus problem that had plagued you until three in the morning.

You knew.

You didn’t know what the hell to do about it, but that was a later you problem.

You placed your hand on his shoulder and shook it.

“Jungkook? Jungkook, I solved it.”

His eyes barely cracked open.

“Wuh…?”

-

Then everybody started to say, wow, you two would suit each other, and certainty morphed into defiance because, come on, what the fuck, everyone was saying the same thing, talking in your ears nonstop and driving you up the wall, so you shut it all out. Covered your ears and prayed for your intuition to be wrong.  Because the one person that didn’t say anything was, well, the one who mattered.

On the verge of giving up was the moment that he chose to say something.

Sheesh.

Did he know how troublesome it had been? How troublesome he was?

You pressed your lips to his, tilting your head to deepen the kiss, your fingers curling into the white fabric, ghosting your tongue over his lower lip, inhaling his clean scent. Citrus, linen, vanilla, the notes of his cologne burning into your memory.

Then you felt a breeze against your ass.

You jerked back.

Jungkook’s hand caught under the hem of your oversized shirt.

“What are you doing?” you snapped.

Huge round eyes. “Um.” He tried to pull his hand back but you grabbed his wrist, squeezing it harshly. He winced, eyes shifting. “S-Sorry. I–”

“We’re in the neighborhood park, I just admitted that I like you, and you’re trying to expose my ass to whoever walks past? Are you advertising it?”

Jungkook seemed to finally link those things together. The kiss must have scrambled his common sense or some shit. He shook his head very quickly. “No. No! Definitely not. I don’t want that.”

You raised your eyebrows. Only physical constraints prevented them from going any higher. He stepped closer, frowning slightly. Actually, more of a pout.

“I… I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

Somehow, hearing it from him made your cheeks burn hot. Somehow, it was way more embarrassing hearing him saying things like that to you. You looked away from those glimmering pools of chocolate, gripping his wrist far too tight. His other hand came up tentatively, settling on your back, his warm body bumping into yours.

“I thought about it a thousand times,” he muttered, speaking to the top of your head. “Because what was the perfect way to ask the perfect person? Everyone kept getting in the way, and I just wanted it to be right, the correct words to say, the picture-perfect scene, the most beautiful moment yet to come…”

“Jungkook.”

You looked up abruptly. Jungkook flinched back, avoiding your head with his chin, gawking down at you with those deep, dark brown eyes.

His hard dick was pressing against your bare thigh through his pants.

You shifted your leg and he visibly shivered, big eyes getting bigger, clearly knowing exactly what you meant without you saying anything at all. He tried to move the lower half of his body away, but your leg followed, practically going between his hard thighs, causing him to both freeze and give up.

“Let’s go back to my place.”

“B-But, hyung–”

“Seokjin’s at the party. He’s too drunk to know what’s up or down anymore.”

-

“What sho–”

You held Jungkook’s anxious face in your hands, forcing him to sit down on your bed.

“Don’t think too much about it. It’s perfect that way,” you replied, before capturing his lips again.

Perhaps Jungkook trusted your expertise, or possibly it was the boundless confidence that you were displaying, or maybe he just straight up wanted to be led along, satisfied in losing himself to dancing tongue and grazing fingertips, whispering your name in between gasps that you drank with ease. Here, there was no one to talk in your ear and muddle your mind. Here you could trust in how you felt and how to show it, tracing his cheekbone, temple, fingers tangling into his hair, tugging you both down onto lilac sheets and your Pokémon-themed pastel duvet of Pikachu and friends serving delicious desserts, but the real sweetness was his gentle sigh and the way the dying light splayed across the room, lingering between your bodies, daydreams slipping into a starlit scene, ah, well, would have been if it wasn’t for the lights of suburbia interrupting the magic.

But that didn’t matter.

Because you and him were the magic.

“Jungkook…”

You shrugged out of your jacket. Let it fall to the ground. Soft kisses onto his cheeks, his lips, the mole underneath them, kept going until he laughed, and you wouldn’t be caught dead with anyone knowing how you were acting right now, absolutely not, and he looked up at you as you stilled, suddenly self-aware of what he was doing to you. You gave him a half-smile and let go of his face, busying yourself with pulling up his long-sleeve shirt instead.

“When did you fall in love with me?” Jungkook asked underneath the white jersey fabric, dragging it along to help you remove it. His grinning head popped out, black hair askew, carelessly tossing the shirt aside.

You pursed your lips, sitting in his lap.

“I’m not in love with you.”

He pulled a pout. “Go back to lying to me.”

Tongue in cheek, half-smile. “Maybe I was always in love with you. It was hard to say it because there are so many girls in the way. The odds weren’t looking good for our hero.”

He squinted at you, suspicious. “I’d put my money on you.”

“Nuh uh, gambling is a bad habit.”

“Why didn’t you do anything sooner? You could have.”

You almost joked again, but you saw the way his shoulders slumped, heard his tone drop. Those deep, dark brown eyes on you, wondering for real. You didn’t have the heart to make light of it.

“I could have,” you agreed quietly. “Then everyone started saying it, so I started doubting it.” You scrunched up your face childishly in front of shirtless, mature-bodied Jungkook. “I don’t like it when other people tell me what to do.”

He tilted his head.

“It’s not so bad.”

You tilted your head back, questioning and curious.

“What isn’t?”

You suddenly noticed the red flush slowly appearing on his cheeks despite his unfluctuating tone.

“Someone telling you what to do,” Jungkook whispered, his hair and shoulders haloed by the last rays of the sun.

Oh?

You raised your hand.

His large eyes immediately tracked the movement, following the curve of your fingers.

“Close your eyes.”

He hesitated, those glimmering pools of sweet chocolate shifting to your face. A little bit of fear, a tiny bit of excitement, a lot of trust. You nodded, said it again.

“Close your eyes.”

Jungkook closed his eyes.

You placed your fingers on his shaking chest. He sucked in a breath, falling back onto his hands, shoulders rigid. Warm. Smooth. Traveling down to the small moles that dotted his chest, one by one, slow and exploratory. Small movement of your fingertips leaning forward and shifting to your fingernails, scratching lightly at his tan skin. His gasp made his torso twitch first before you heard it, body shuddering at the sensation. You tested him a little more, pressing your nails into his flexed pecs, raking them up. His gasp drew out, pink lips parting, becoming a low moan, brows furrowing but eyes still shut, and you kept your silence, lessening the pressure as you outlined his straining neck with your touch, feeling the blood pumping hard under your fingertips.

Shallow, tense breaths.

Struggling to whisper your name. It came out in a whimper.

“I’m here,” you murmured back.

You could tell Jungkook was embarrassed but he still didn’t open his eyes, either because you hadn’t said so or because he was reassured by the huskiness of your voice, satisfied that you were not unaffected by what was happening. The pads of your fingers trailed along his collarbone, down, nails past his racing heartbeat, his sharp inhale and then you paused.

He stilled.

You placed your middle fingertip on his left nipple.

Massaged it slowly, lightly.

His teeth sunk into his lower lip and Jungkook turned his head away, muffled groan behind closed lips. You felt the nub harden under your touch and nicked it with your nail, watching his head fall back and his shoulders tremble, eyes still closed but for some reason he couldn’t face you, his fingers clutching your duvet and wrinkling it with tension, the muscles in his arms suddenly tense, the tattoos of his right arm standing out on taut skin.

You continued rubbing and slid off his lap.

“Wha – fuck!”

Placed your tongue on the other nipple and started rubbing it with the wet muscle, slow circles mixed with short, lapping licks, and Jungkook was falling apart above you, his eyes opening, looking down, gasping for air that he couldn’t seem to fill his lungs with, darkness now replaced with the lewd scene in front of him, sensations shattering his composure.

“O-Oooh…”

You looked up at him, tipping your head back a little. Let him watch your tongue moving, anchoring yourself on the edge of the bed with your free hand. You were pretty sure he didn’t expect this. From the look on his face and the sounds he was making, he was not complaining, his moans bleeding into whines as you tilted your head and slid your tongue up, up, nibbles on his collarbone and kissing up his neck. Shivering breath to a half-smile, and you kissed him, deeply, one knee between his legs, his erection pressed to your thigh again, and Jungkook closed his own thighs, pushing up, rubbing his hard cock against your leg and sliding his tongue in your mouth, giving you his wanton whimpers as you sucked on it, gently at first, then harder as his hips began to thrust, kissing you so fiercely that you felt his lip ring indent into the side of your mouth.

“Please…”

Right into your throat.

You broke the kiss, lifting your hand from his chest. Dug your thumbnail into his lower lip and opened his desperate mouth, caging his cheek with your other four fingers.

“Say it again,” you purred.

Stared into his eyes, letting your hot breath drift into his throat. You knew he could see it, the smile in your gaze as you said your next words, ones he said only a few hours ago.

“Do me this favor.”

He grinned under your hold, spark of playfulness in chocolatey orbs.

“Please,” Jungkook begged for you.

Well, if you ever needed a second moment to know what you already knew, this was it.

You smiled back.

“Of course.”

The oncoming night signaled the end of day but this was the beginning, starting with your hand on Jungkook’s chest pushing him up on the bed, following his movement and tapping the large orb on your nightstand, watching his bright eyes light up as it glowed, apparently very impressed by your spherical touch lamp casting gentle brightness in the darkness. You tucked your knuckle against his jaw, guiding him back.

You hovered over him.

Your hair falling over your shoulder, your hands by his head, curiosity looking back up at you from the pillows.

Counting each breath, the preface to secrets from the heart that could only be spoken in darkness and in the heat of the moment, if not now then never, better sooner than later, staring into Jeon Jungkook’s eyes, windows to a soul so very different than yours, but this was real and this was right.

A half-smile because you couldn’t fucking believe what you were about to say.

“I don’t really believe in love or dreams coming true,” you said to him. “But I believe in you, and you’re both of those things.”

I love you.

It was probably better that Jungkook was speechless because you could barely look at him in the face anymore, only doing so out of pure stubbornness and your refusal to run too fast, feeling your cheeks heat and your teeth gnawing at your lower lip, seeing your own reflection in those large, dark brown eyes, and, when you felt it was sufficient enough time for him to understand that you meant it, you dove down and escaped his gaze.

“W-Wait – oh!”

You muffled his stutters with quick action. Yanked his pants and underwear down, snapping the elastic and sending it shooting over the edge of your bed. Leaned down and closed the distance, your lips parting, hot breath washing over taut skin, licking him.

Or, more accurately, licking his hard cock and leaking saliva down the quivering length.

“A-Ah… I… oh, w-what…”

You glanced up at Jungkook, half-lidded eyes and extending your tongue, coating him with a glossy sheen. His jaw dropped, panting shallowly, watching you reach up and spread it everywhere, yelping at the slick sensitivity. You tilted your head and his thin exhale turned into breathless moans, his head tipping back and lashes fluttering as you went down, down, all the way to the base and then some, cutting off your own air, not caring in the slightest, your tongue gliding from the bottom of the head to the base and then extending past your lips, pushing up his balls with your free hand to curl your tongue around them and suck, the taste of his skin drenching your senses, thrusting the tip into your throat and teasing his balls with expansive licks, the slurping sound loudly echoing throughout your bedroom, adding to the melody of his moan.

“Wow, o-o-oh, that’s s-so deep…”

You sandwiched the throbbing head between your tongue and roof of your mouth, rubbing back and forth without moving your jaw, maximum sensation with only the inner muscles of your mouth shifting, and Jungkook didn’t know what to do, startled that your head wasn’t moving and yet there was so fucking much going on in that wet tightness, white knuckles gripping fistfuls of your sheets, exhales hitched with pleasure, barely squeaking out your name as you popped your mouth off and stuffed both of his balls into your lips at the same time, wrapping your fingers around his length, stroking slowly, making sure to gift him with overwhelming euphoria.

“I-I can’t,” Jungkook finally gasped.

“Can’t what?” you mumbled around his balls, swallowing and releasing them in between each word.

“I’m g-gonna cum…”

“Then cum on my face.”

You sucked on his balls, swirling your tongue around them, stretching the skin taut and pressing your nimble muscle flat against the skin, rubbing sensually.

“I can’t cum on your face,” Jungkook heatedly retorted.

“Why not?”

His balls popping in and out of your mouth was driving him insane, cries and whimpers mixing together into a garbled mess as he tried to collect his thoughts, failing as he started and stopped speaking multiple times, back arching and head falling back, moaning far too loud before he managed to groan, “Please, no, I can’t c-cum on your face the first time, please.”

“Sure you can,” you replied, thinking that he might see it as disrespectful. “I’m telling you that you should.”

“That’s not – oh, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me – that’s n-not what I m-mean…!”

His cock twitched. You gripped a little tighter. Slick throughout, steady pace, focusing the pressure at the base of the dark, purple-red head. Filled your mouth with both of his balls and sucked harder, licking right between them, and Jungkook whined, unlatching his right hand from your sheets.

You didn’t have time to react as his hand shot out and grabbed your moving hand, gripping it so tightly that you were forced to stop.

“F-Fuck!”

A near-scream, throwing his head back onto your pillows and slamming his left fist onto the bed, his right hand shaking as his cock pulsed in your palm, so close but cut off, Jungkook shoving his face into your pillows and basically yelling into them, covering his nose and eyes, shoulders jerking, chest heaving, his black hair over the exposed part of his face.

You had removed your mouth from his balls right away, not taking the chance with his sudden movement. You placed your hand on his hard, tense thigh.

“A… Are you okay?”

Jungkook moaned, flinching his head back, breathing hard.

“Don’t be n-nice to me a-after that…” he panted, left hand rising, pushing his hair back from his sweaty forehead.

You blinked slowly. “I said it was okay. I meant it.”

Shivering all over, aimlessly waving his free hand, still not letting go of yours on his cock. “N-Not that… fuck… don’t t-talk like that…” he puffed, his eyes closing, trying to catch his breath.

“Like what? Cumming on my face?”

His cock twitched in your hand and he slapped his own face, groaning loudly.

“Are you not into that?” you asked, puzzled.

Jungkook peeked at you between his fingers, his cheekbones flared pink. “I’m into it. Fuck, I’m too into it. I’m still so fucking hard just thinking about it, but it’s not that,” he breathed, lower lip shaky.

You stared at his underlip mole. “Then what’s wrong?”

His grip around your hand finally loosened a little.

“I… I want the first time I cum with you to be inside you…” he mumbled.

… Oh?

Your eyes travelled up, up.

To his, dark brown orbs under messy hair and spread fingers.

“Inside where?” you questioned pointedly, unwavering.

You saw Jungkook’s inhale catch, felt his cock throb at your firm composure. He wasn’t so much embarrassed as he was put on the spot. Swallowing hard to try and dimmish the excitement in his silvery voice, enjoying your assertiveness on a much deeper level than simply being impressed.

“I-Inside… your pussy,” he breathed.

There was something so very fucking sexy about his obedience and his need, so sexy the way he rose to meet you when you crawled up his body, leaning in, kissing him, so sexy that he met you halfway with a grateful whine. Impatient, pushing up your shirt, reminding you why you were so fucking warm, so preoccupied with him that you forgot about yourself, and you swiftly unhooked your bra with one hand and fumbling with the drawer of your nightstand with the other, pulling out the string of condoms and slapping them down on the bed.

His eyes went wide as your breasts were revealed.

You took his hands and placed them exactly where they wanted to be, or at least you guessed so from Jungkook’s moan of approval and the zeal he had as he ran his thumbs over your hard nipples.

“A-Ah, Jungkook…”

His fingers sunk into the soft curve and he tugged slightly, pushing you above him even though you were trying to push down your panties, and the next second was wet heat and bliss, your jaw clenching as you felt his lips close in. Lapping kisses, dancing tongue, diligent earnestness, your hand smacking the headboard to anchor yourself, wave after pleasurable wave radiating from your chest.

Your tangled panties escaped down your legs.

You slammed the condom to the headboard with your other hand and ripped it open, gasping as he rolled your other nipple between his fingers.

“J-Jungkook, let me fuck you,” you gritted out, shuddering above his head.

You backed up and he was forced to let go, doing so very reluctantly.

You rolled the condom down his length and he watched you, deep brown eyes darker with lust, glancing up at you when you scooted back, his eyes darting up and down your body, adding to the mounting embarrassment, your fingers slippery as you spread your pussy lips apart, using your free hand to guide him while lowering yourself slowly.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you chided, trying to keep your voice even.

“You’re the only one I want to look at for the rest of my life,” Jungkook replied breathlessly, not looking away.

That wasn’t how life worked, but you didn’t bother to correct him.

Instead, you spread your knees and sank down onto his cock. You both moaned in unison, heads tipping back, entangled in the joint sensation of filling and fullness. You adjusted your hips to find comfort, pleasure rocketing up your spine, beginning to build the pace. No hesitation, only instinct, leaning forward and placing your hands above his shoulders, rolling your hips, riding him and squeezing him all over, savoring the hardness, chancing a moment to look down and Jungkook’s head craned up, definitely previously watching you slide up and down on top of him.

You smacked your ass down, painting his crotch with your arousal, sweet and sticky.

He gasped, his hands rising, holding your bouncing breasts.

“I c-can’t…”

“Then cum,” you panted, slapping your hips to his, hearing the tangible wetness and tightening your core, smirking as you saw him moan under you, his eyes rolling back. “Cum for me.”

“B-But…”

“Just cum, Jungkook,” you coaxed gently, measured exhales and powerful thrusts, fucking him hard and fast, roughly taking his breath away. “Cum for me.”

He was holding out, not wanting to disappoint you, squeezing his eyes shut and his brows furrowing, pinching your nipples to provide you with sensation as well, causing your pussy to clench around him, your shoulders tensing, and yet you didn’t stop, couldn’t stop, jaw tightening as you came, moan bleeding out between gritted teeth, and Jungkook’s eyes opened, sucking in a breath.

Your name on the tip of his tongue, but you were lost in glimmering pools of chocolate.

His hips thrust up, meeting you, and you both gasped, your orgasm viciously pulsating around him as he came, and you expected him to involuntarily look away, but, no, Jungkook maintained eye contact, his gasp turning into a blissed-out whimper, eyes glazing over with the haze of the apex, lust-drunk and love-high, his hands sliding up your chest, his fingers crowning your jaw.

He didn’t say anything.

You already knew.

Well, you didn’t really know but, in this life that meant nothing at all, you already decided that you were going to live it – fully, completely, and unrestrained by the opinions of others – and those hands holding your face said, take me with you, so you responded with your half-smile, turning your head in his hold.

Kissing his fingertips.

The euphoria diminished slowly, extended by the eternity of your locked gazes.

“One more,” you breathed.

He blinked slowly, not quite registering your words. “Wuh?”

You slid back, and then he understood as you ripped another condom open.

“W-Wait, I don’t know how long I can last – oh, shit!”

You removed the used condom and pumped him fast, rough, pressure at the base of the head, grinning as you felt his cock become rigid in your slick palm, sliding the new condom down when you felt him become rock-hard. You didn’t bother changing to position. Time was money, after all.

You sank down on him again.

This time Jungkook’s back arched and he stared up at the ceiling, clutching the sheets for dear life and obscenely moaning. Neck tense and chest flexed, rocking his hips up in time with your descent. So thick, so hard, both overstimulated, and it didn’t take you long, angling yourself to obtain maximum sensitivity, fucking him as he fucked you back, purring his name as your orgasm shot through your veins, slipping into the intense pleasure, and he kept going, amplifying it, intensifying it, making you feel so fucking good that you needed more, more, more, feeding a dangerous addiction. Serene severity. You and him. Hot and wet, tight and rough, fast and building, opening your eyes to see him gazing back at you, fucked-out, pupils dilated, eyes glassy, the starlit scene in those glimmering pools of chocolate.

“Don’t stop, p-please…  please…”

There was no chance of you stopping, but he wasn’t saying it in fear, it was something else, something related to the corner of his lips curving upward, silver ring gleaming, your heart racing at his needy tone, and you knew he knew what he was doing, letting out a puff of disbelief at his full-on smirk.

“I hate that I like you,” you hissed out.

His eyebrow cocked.

“Because I’m totally your type.”

It was too late.

Your orgasm crashed down, ransacking your nerves and igniting sparks all over, leaving you gasping for breath, clenching all around his jerking length, and Jungkook moaned, sweet and wanton, pressing his head into your pillows and inhaling, shuddering, shivering, flinching, his hips rutting into yours to feel it all, every squeeze and every throb, shooting once again into the condom and draping himself in the ecstasy of the erotic high.

This.

Him.

Yes, Jungkook was totally your type.

You heard a soft tune playing on your bedroom floor.

An eight-bit jingle that indicated a certain person, because that person assigned themself their own ringtone on your phone, scolding you that you absolutely needed to know it was him when he called.

“Shit,” you mumbled under your breath.

You let it go to voicemail to avoid Seokjin’s yelling.

That was a future you problem.

-

“What do it you want?”

It wasn’t your brother.

“Come pick up hyung. He passed out.”

If it was anyone else but the other voice on the line, you would have lied through your teeth. However, the owner of this voice was a little too intuitive. You clicked your tongue, thinking a bit before replying.

“I can’t do that right now,” you finally said.

“And why is that?” the voice through the phone asked. A little slurred, deep, but with no indication of intoxication. This was his usual Daegu accent. It would take a lot more than a couple beers to get Min Yoongi drunk.

You coughed under your breath.

Jungkook called your name from the bathroom, which wouldn’t have been that loud if it wasn’t for his voice echoing on the tile. You didn’t reply. It didn’t matter.

“Ah, I see,” Yoongi hummed.

“Don’t tell him,” you muttered, rubbing the bridge of your nose.

“Even if I did, he’s not listening. He’s asleep.”

“I mean don’t tell him when he wakes up,” you hissed irritably.

“At that point, I’ll be asleep. Then hyung is your problem when he staggers home,” Yoongi said matter-of-factly. “Have an eventful night.”

Click.

A muscle in your eye twitched. You tossed your phone aside, heading to the bathroom to clean up.

--

masterpost

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