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passionesolja · 9 months
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I feel like Star Wars missed the opportunity to make Darth Maul and Count Dooku beef. Like all there’s this conversation about Maul and Kenobi’s relationship but imagine being Count Dooku and you gotta live with the fact that the mf who killed your Padawan (one of the events that ended up making you align yourself with the Sith) is alive and living his best life. I would be so pissed. Sidious had to tell Count Dooku not to fuck with Maul bc I refuse that Dooku had no want to slide for Qui Gon Jinn
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drawingdroid · 11 months
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Hi! It’s Terry and I’m new to the Star Wars fandom, I’m very enthusiastic about Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, he just deserved better and should have got help! Nevertheless, here’s an sketch about him to indulge your eyes with some of the medical headcanons I have for him, like his hearing got diminished by the fire and he needs hearing aids and that he breathes thanks to a tracheostomy. Reader would call it his cute choker when being silly around him! I just think there’s a lack of Vader appreciation and I need to fill a that void since I love him so much, ok byeee~
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lemoneste · 1 year
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Started to obsess over the idea of a clone uprising again and especially how every Jedi found out it’s going down
I don’t have the details in my head on how the news of the uprising would be broadcasted but my fave thing to imagine is that Fox or someone just appears on the equivalent of a Galaxy-wide TV channel and just begins to explain that “hey yeah we’re taking over. If you happen to be a Jedi, tough luck, we’re nabbing you off the street on sight. Don’t expect your clone commanders to communicate with you, all comm channels are down to benefit the rebellion, good luck.”
Plo Koon is in the middle of crying over his telenovela when the broadcast interrupts it and he doesn’t have time to be angry about the interruption before his door is being kicked down.
Obi-Wan is blissfully unaware since he isn’t in close proximity to a screen until Anakin calls him crying and screaming like: “I DON’T KNOW WHERE AHSOKA IS AND IM BEING CHASED ON THE STREET PLEASE COME HOME!!!!”
Mace Windu is literally next to the broadcasting room where Fox is making the announcement and he overhears everything. Does he do anything? No.
Kit Fisto would think it’s a joke, send a screenshot of the broadcast to Monk being like “LMAO this is a rlly good bit, Fox is selling it like a mf” and then proceeds to get a text back from Monk reading: “Please send me your exact coordinates.”
Quinlan Vos shows up in the broadcast as an example procedure for the Clone Troopers on “how to nab a Jedi off the street”.
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araindragon · 6 months
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Obi-Wan Kenobi gets into a swearing competition with young Anakin Skywalker
Public is shocked when the foulest words pour out of Kenobi's mouth followed by..."Which is why, my young padawan, you just can't call everyone a sleemo when there are much more accurate phrases to use that are also true."
"Of course, Master Kenobi,
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isorottatime · 2 years
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idea . ahsoka baby photos. she left the holos in the crèche when she moved out her clan dorms when she became anakin’s padawan, but plo grabbed them and decided to show them to anakin. she never lives it down, anakin thought she was adorable 
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thesmollestnerd · 11 months
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Star Wars Characters + their signature Burlesque songs
This is going to be mostly Clone Wars + Bad Batch era characters in this specific post. 
Links are available by clicking the song title.
Clone Wars
Obi-Wan Kenobi | “Feeling Good” Muse
The original version of “Feeling Good” is one of the go-to songs for burlesque, it in a lot of ways, it mimics classic big-band cabaret showgirl tunes. Obi-wan has a lot of respect for tradition and those who came before him but he’s also his own jedi and deviates where he wants to. This cover by muse has that element of showy, flirty-ness and the flaunt of a song that can hold its own. The tradition of the brass overlaid with more pop-rock elements mean Obi-Wan can showgirl parade and peel to his heart’s content.
Anakin Skywalker | “I See Red” Everyone Loves an Outlaw
The lyrics are about cheating but the overall theme of this song is about being betrayed by loved ones. This could work for the fix-it timeline where he feels betrayed by someone he thought was a friend (Palpatine) or canon where he’s feeling betrayed by the order. It’s an angry, broody strong with a lot of strong beats and would mimic Anakin’s aggressive fighting, and sparks of wrath. We’re talking a LOT of very assertive, physical dance here.
Padme Amidala | “My Strongest Suit” Aida
This song is about fashion being a woman’s strongest asset, literally its in the musical. I can see Padme doing this as a tongue-and-cheek number because she gets teased for her prolific wardrobe as a Queen and Senator. Everyone knows she’s a powerhouse and this ballad, even tongue-and-cheek- is a BALLAD. The audience is going to worship at the altar of this high-energy strip-tease. And the costumes? Oh, they are encrusted in rhinestones. 
Mace Windu | “Bad News” Melody Gardot
This is very in-line with classic lounge-style burlesque. Mace likes it because its slow and he has four + a half-minutes of the audience’s time and he uses them rolling around the stage floor with a thickass purple boa, eye fucking people and they thank him for the gift of that.
Cody | “You Make My Dreams” Hall & Oates
This act was created for one person, and one person only, others get to see it by the grace of the force. Obi-Wan has never missed a performance of it, which is good because Cody spends a majority of his time flirting with the man while casually whipping around tribute fans with impressively playful precision. It’s kinda like watching a bird do a courtship dance for his mate but with body shimmer. 
Rex | “Lost Without” Shane Guerrette
Rex heard this song in a cantina in the middle of nowhere and that was the first time anyone knew the man had rhythm. The raspy, vintage-feel, simple chords, and easy percussion with a vocals that have a brass-like quality mean he’s going to toe the line of flirty classic tease, and sultry slow-burn. He’ll be in the audience, flirting and soaking up their attention before he saunters back to the stage to do floorwork that is hotter than sex..  
Fives | "Betty (Get Money)” Yung Gravy
If you don’t expect this from that absolute sentient shit-post of a vod, I’ve got news for you: He does it dressed like a Chippendale’s Dancer and always loses his merkin.
Bly | “Mr. Sandman” SYML
This is a song about longing and we know how Bly feels about his Jedi. This is a soft cover, beautiful, elegant. It’s not a tease, its a tribute. I can see some beautiful fanwork happening, a lot of peel-cover-reveal. The choreo is slow but the audience is enthralled. 
Fox | “Smooth” Santana, Rob Thomas
Fox chose this song because it was playing at 79s and he liked how easy it was to dance to. He likes to slide back and forth between a raunchy bump n’ grind with some hits and just holding the stage and staring down the audience while dragging a piece of clothing. At least once during the bridge when he’s in the audience, he steals someone’s drink and downs it.
Wolffe | “Teeth” Lady Gaga
The Tempo of this song is very driving, very authoritative but the lyrics are  assertive yet dirty which Wolffe would appreciate. He’d bump n’ grind the hell out of this and probably howl for effect.
The Bad Batch
Crosshair | “Death Don’t Have no Mercy” (Stripped Version) Esterly, Eric McSpadden
This is a slow-burn about the inevitability of death. It’s very Crosshair. The twangy-bluesy guitar with the rolling drums and choral backing vocals make this an unexpected choice for those more familiar with classic burlesque but Crosshair plays everything close to the chest but with the presence to really make this song captivate. He’ll be walking the stage, staring down the audience, and peeling off clothing, slooooowly to keep the tease alive.
Echo | “Say My Name” KNGDAVD
No one was expecting this, even even Echo. The first time he performed, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to perform. This song kicked on, the dirty verb of the guitar, the kick of the beat, the croon of the singer summoned the Domino Twin in him and he went for it. There was bump n’ grind, there was parade and peel, there were so many credits on the floor that this boy slipped and went into the sexiest split of any of the rings.
(Echo now has rhinestoned plastoid plates that snap on to his legs, not head canon, canon, I will not be accepting feedback.)
Hunter | “Desperado” (Slowed TikTok vers) Rhianna, RH Music
The man is a tracker. The audience is his prey. This version is a sultry slowest-of-the-slow burns. It’s all about drawing the tease out, the audience on the edge of their seats, not to see the skin (but also yes) but to just watch this man who has complete control over every single muscle through fluid physicality take off one garment at a time. It’s about the connection he can maintain with the audience, the presence he takes up just by breathing (which is part of his choreo).
Tech | “People Are Strange” Tribe Society
Some performers tend not to engage with their audience because they are so into what they’re doing, enjoying themselves. Others prefer to  be observed, to be art. That’s Tech. This song is sultry and smokey and slow, anyone else would be slithering across the stage and stripping. Tech is using this song to showcase the flexibility of the human body, there are alot of acrobatic poses with very slow transitions. Since Tech is an inventive mind, he also likely likes to innovate new and interesting ways to remove clothing (such as an inverted hand-stand on a chair while removing a thigh-high from one leg with his toes of the other).
Wrecker | “I Believe in a thing Called Love” The Darkness
Classic-rock with a super playful vibe. I could totally see Wrecker choosing a hair-metal inspired track. It’s high energy, perfect for a guy with little impulse control and a whole lot of love to give. He’s gonna rip his shirt off within the first 30 seconds of the song, swing it around and then chuck it into the audience and they are going to eat.it.up. He’s going to have a lot of fun on stage, that’s what its all about for him, he’ll do bump and grind, he’ll do (his version of) classic flirty, he’s gonna tease but in a delightful way and during the clapping-bridge he’s gonna gonna reveal assels (they’re tassels for your butt). 
Bonus:
Yoda | “Pour some sugar on me” Def Leopard
He doesn’t take any clothing off and still ends up buried in credits.
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animymind · 2 years
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OC introduction: Commander Nyles || CC-6809
(Art by me, this is part of introducing and rewriting my oc's, my Jedi oc Aya Lite is here.)
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Name/Number: Nyles/6809
Species: Human (Clone)
Look: Armor as shown, hair black with white streak, standard clone hair just slightly longer often, normally has a beard because he forgets to shave, blue eyes with a brown peck in the left eye
Position in the army: Republic Commando, Commander of the Special Force Unit 222nd
Mbti: originally ISFJ, gets INFJ-ish bc of me
History: Nyles grew up with ca. 200 brothers on a special facility in Kamino, opened to train and doing research on Clones with slight mutations. They barely had contact with other vods. As the oldest, Nyles got a leading position within the unit, and an older brother figure for his brothers. The older he got, the more he rebelled against his instructor, Zsy Bliant, who trained the unit unfairly and in morally questionable conditions. After a bomb attempt, he and six of his close brothers, later referred to as the "Alpha squad", got into decommission. Their later general Aya Lite (introduction here) bailed them out shortly after the clone wars started. She founded the Special Force Unit 222nd. Nyles became commander of that unit full of Commandos and later was promoted to Marshal Commander.
Personality: Nyles is a very able and loyal soldier, especially towards Aya, but he's judgemental and stubborn inside and usually doesn't like to listen to anyone he doesn't respect; and if he's very sure of something, even those who he trusts have a hard time convincing him otherwise. His position as leader followed him since his very early days, and even though he would never quit it and is a very responsible person, he often wishes for a quiet, normal life without any responsibility. He struggles a lot on the inside, but doesn't show it to his brothers, even though some of them notice nevertheless. He's very close with the brothers he grew up with. He's slow to anger but crossing his boundaries is not a smart move. He has problems with following orders sometimes, especially when he thinks his method is easier and better than the one he got ordered to do. Secretly, Nyles often feels lonely, but barely forms deep friendships outside of the 222nd out of fear of losing them again. It can be hard to analyse him, and he can seem unapproachable, but he tries hard to be open with those he trusts. Interpersonal conflicts aren't for him.
Sexuality: Demisexual. He's sweet when in love because he loves very intensely and gets clingy, but the poor boy won't get it if you (sexually) flirt with him and probably is blind towards the most obvious hints
Relationships outside the 222nd: Not a lot, but he keeps a close friendship with Commander Neyo and knows Cody and Fox well enough to consider them his friends.
Relationship to Aya: I once had the hc of an affair between the two but I've thrown that out. They are close friends. The main trait of their friendship is that they don't have to talk to each other to understand each other. Nyles is very considerate and keeps pressure off Aya, and Aya tries to do the same if able. Aya had a hard time gaining his trust because he was deeply hurt by Bliant, but after taking the time to really understand and listen to all his sorrow and noticing his insecurities, Nyles gave her his rare trust.
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alabyte · 4 months
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Just a little headcanon:
As a child, Crosshair's hair was dark except for just a small white strand somewhere at his temple. But with age, the white strands became more and more numerous - due to genetic mutations, the hair on his head lost color in sections until it became completely white.
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Maybe in just a few years he'll start saying that the amount of stress his brothers are causing made him go gray in his cadet years.
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phi-guy · 10 months
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@rochenn ‘s starmap tattoo hc…. U r a genius 🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎🧎
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sabellart · 2 years
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the first time anakin saw obi wan flirt to his advantage he was, quite surprised, to say the least
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bakaqb · 4 months
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They just won't stop flirting i mean bickering
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passionesolja · 9 months
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zoeykallus · 8 months
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Hello there! I hope you’re having a wonderful day or evening, depending on when you see this :)
I was wondering if you’d do a HC of how the batch reacts to being called the fem!readers husband! Whether for an undercover mission or they’re actually married is totally up to you! So sorry if you’ve already done this one and I just didn’t see it!
Lots of love
~💜
Aloha! No, I have not done this before. At least not that I can remember... 🤔🤔
I think, I smell some fun...
The Bad Batch x fem!reader HCs - The Husband
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Fluff/Comfort/Slightly Suggestive/Tech's Part Is Angsty
__________
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Initial situation:
You two are not yet a couple, but you have feelings for each other. Sometimes you flirt and generally enjoy spending time together. While running errands together on a market, you are approached by a vendor.
"Hello, such a pretty couple! Can I perhaps interest you and your husband in some of my goods? We have exquisite exotic fruits with aphrodisiac effects."
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Hunter
You hear a nervous little giggle from Hunter. You smile yourself, feeling your cheeks get hot. The way you keep smiling at each other, and the way you interact with each other, it was only a matter of time before someone mistook you for a couple.
Hunter clears his throat sheepishly and says, "Um, we're not married."
"But a couple for sure," the merchant says with conviction.
You shake your head, "No, not a couple either."
The merchant blinks.
"But you'd like to be one!" he insists.
Hunter nervously tugs at his bandana and says, "Well, that may be so"
You look at him in surprise; until now, you've never addressed this tingling tension between you.
Your eyes meet, then you both look shyly in another direction.
The merchant grins, "Ah, I see, shy huh? My fruits can change that."
You chuckle and say braver than you feel, "Okay, what would you recommend to two shy idiots like us who don't dare?"
You feel Hunter staring at you, but he doesn't contradict you, he comes closer and watches curiously as the merchant shows and explains some of the exotic fruits to you. Finally, you look at him and you both grin.
The merchant wraps a few of them for you and as he hands you the bag he says, "Come by as soon as you are a couple, my wife has a wonderful catering service for the wedding party."
Echo
His first reaction is a confused, "Huh?
"I just asked your wife if you two might be interested in my fruit."
Echo looks at you and you at him. You see his ears turn red, but he doesn't contradict the merchant.
He likes to cook, in general he likes to prepare food, it's a kind of hobby, and he's very good at it. Which you also mention to the merchant.
"Oh, a man with class, you are lucky".
You laugh softly and say, "Echo, take a look, maybe you can find some fruit for a stimulating dessert?"
Echo comes closer and says dryly, "Well, um, just the two of us will eat that, won't we?"
"Of course," you say with a soft laugh.
You buy some of the fruit and the merchant calls after you, "Recommend me further if you are satisfied."
After a while you say quietly laughing, "Husband and wife."
Echo murmurs, "Doesn't sound so bad"
"Hmm?"
"Oh nothing"
Wrecker
He laughs heartily, playfully pulls you close to him and squeezes you against his side.
"My little wifey and I are always interested in culinary delicacies," he says happily, playing along with the game.
You are so caught off guard at first that you just smile dumbly and try to process what is happening.
Wrecker is chatting heartily with the merchant, getting advice, picking out some fruit, and smiling at you all the while. He seems so adorably cheerful that you wouldn't even dream of admonishing him or correcting the mix-up.
Again and again, he winks at you mischievously, as if you were both about to play a prank. You're not quite sure what Wrecker thinks about you or you two together. But for now, you're enjoying this little game.
As you both finally walk away from the stand with a bag of fruit, he looks at you, he's grinning, his ears are red, and he says conspiratorially, "Funny, isn't it, that he thought we were a couple? Hey, should we maybe go to that little grove you like so much? The fruits are good for a picnic."
Your heart races.
"Wrecker, you know what aphrodisiac means, right?"
"Um, no, should I?"
You sigh, but you smile at him as you explain.
"It increases libido, sexual readiness, the desire to be intimate."
His eyes get big.
"Oooooh," he says stretched, after a brief pause he asks mischievously, "So, shall we go to the grove?"
Tech
His holopad is hanging on his belt for once, his attention was completely on you today, and you enjoy it to the fullest. It does not surprise you that one believes you for a couple. The way you look at him, and he smiles shyly at you, it is bound to happen sooner or later.
Tech adjusts his goggles and says matter-of-factly, "We're not married."
"But a couple, yes?"
"No, not a couple either," he says.
The dealer looks from one to the other.
"But you two are definitely in love with each other, you can tell from a distance".
You see Tech's ears turn red, the helmet he had tucked under his arm earlier hastily finding its place on his head again as Tech more or less tries to hide under it.
But then he says something that startles you.
"That would be unwise."
You feel yourself getting hot and cold, and your guts tighten. The merchant looks from one to the other, confused.
"Why is that?" he asks the question on your mind.
Tech sighs and says, "I have an unsteady life, a dangerous one at that. I couldn't offer a steady home to a partner or even a wife, no real security. So I guess I will remain single."
The merchant as well as you are speechless. You feel as if he has just kicked you in the pit of your stomach.
As you continue to walk, you are silent and stare ahead. You don't feel like exploring the market anymore. You feel like crying, but you hold back. You were so sure that he liked you too, so sure that sooner or later you would find each other, get together. Now you feel down, a shattered dream.
He stops at a stand with flowers, buys a beautiful bouquet and holds it out to you. When you look at him questioningly, he says, "I feel like I've made you sad."
You tentatively pick up the bouquet, stare at the flowers and bite your tongue, trying not to say anything stupid or start crying.
"Other people," he says after clearing his throat, "Shouldn't know how much I like you."
You blink and look up at him from the bouquet.
"What, I don't understand…"
He shrugs his shoulders uncertainly, pulls you into a quiet corner, and takes off his helmet again. His cheeks and ears are flushed, his hair a bit disheveled by the helmet. He looks so adorable it hurts.
"It's true that my life is uncertain, dangerous. The Empire is after me and my brothers, the occasional bounty hunter now and then. If people know how much I like you, they might try to hurt you to get to me."
Your heart almost leaps into your throat.
"So you do like me then?"
Tech blinks and says, "I thought it was obvious."
"And you don't want to stay single?"
He smirks softly at you.
Crosshair
He cocks an eyebrow at you, then at the vendor. Before you can say anything, Crosshair steps closer and looks at the fruit.
You stand next to him. He throws you a sly smile, then asks the vendor, "Which one has the most intense effect?"
You feel heat rising in your cheeks and ears. You wonder what he's up to.
Crosshair listens to the merchant's advice for quite a while, while you watch speechlessly as he packs an entire bag of the recommended fruit.
You sigh softly. You know that Crosshair is popular with the women, and you know that he has always enjoyed it, even though he hasn't had anymore womanizing for a while now.
You two find a quiet corner and sit down at a pretty fountain.
Quietly, you ask him, "So, which woman gets served these fruits this time?"
He unwraps one, takes his knife and cuts it into pieces as you watch in surprise.
"Well my wife, of course," he says perkily, holding out a piece to you, "Care for a slice, honey?"
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Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)
@rintheemolion
@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99
@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310
@misogirl828 @tech-deck
@meshla-madalene
@chxpsi
@thebahdbitch
@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri
@darkangel4121
@ttzamara
@arctrooper69
@padawancat97
@agenteliix
@allsystemsblue
@palliateclaw
@either-madness-or-brilliance
@ortizshinkaroff
@andy-solo1
@hunterssecretrecipe
@heyitsaloy
@greaser-wolf
@extrahotpixels
@hated-by-me
@hunterxcrosshair
@malicemercy
@bebopsworld
@echos-girlfriend
@cpnt616
@dangraccoon
@jediknightjana
@pb-jellybeans
@antishadow2021
@sleepycreativewriter
@projectdreamwalker
@starwarsnerd111
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lemoneste · 6 months
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Ok y’all, I wonder too often wether or not Anakin would have believed Fives had Fives survived long enough to tell him abt the chips etc.
Bc like, doesn’t it all depend on who Anakin bros for more… bc sometimes I legit forget Anakin LIKED Palpatine, or at least he thought they were friends/close.
But, I’d like to think that he was still closer to his men, I’d gen love to know the fandoms opinion on that, maybe I make Anakin too bromantic in my own head and in reality he would not have given Fives the time of day,,, but even if my boy is not the sharpest pencil I’d like to think Anakin would always back up his men first.
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redwitchrune · 12 days
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the commanders batch and their adopted captain go to 79's
plus a little close-up :)
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isorottatime · 2 years
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kanan bakes apple crumble pie twice a week. hera burns orange juice.
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