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reachexceedinggrasp · 2 years

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There's something that's always made me wonder back when I was still in the SW fandom.How did the majority of the fanboys and fangirls have such a profound misunderstanding of the thematic theme it represents?Like I remember finding MANY of this people on my insta feed talking about different types of spaceships,where do the J*dis get their lightsaber crystals from,characteristics of several planets,etc YET when confronted about the actual theme of the movie,they "What do you think my entire blog is about?"🤦‍♀️These are the type of people who just hate Ben in general, think TLJ did L*ke dirty,and genuinely believe V*der and An*kin to be two different people.How did this happen?Was it partly Lucas' own fault?Was it because of the Legends books?I'm just so confused...like how did these people become a fan for 20+years yet managed to misread something most integral to its storyline?

Yeah, I used to talk about this a lot. I think it's mostly two things. It's that a lot of people don't care about themes no matter how obvious they are and will just mentally paper over a message they don't agree with. Any incurious audience will also often assume the things they like must agree with them and will read their own worldview into media regardless of intent. See the bizarre mental contortions from fans, such as claiming Vader wasn't actually redeemed or that 'everyone' ignores that aberrant moment because the movie is otherwise good (as if RotJ isn't exclusively built around Luke's moral victory in choosing love and refusing to submit to the idea of a necessary evil). See also TPM alt-right crypto fascists identifying with the Rebellion and reading the story as an allegory for their fight for 'freedom'. Assholes don't see themselves as the villains, they see themselves as the heroes.

And the second thing is that sw attracted a large audience of people who just have wildly different priorities than the original narrative. People who love space ship blueprints and detailed lore, people who want sci-fi rather than fantasy/fable storytelling conventions, who want to break down the vague, emotional mysticism of the Force into a D&D magic system with two flavours of power and specific rules. People who aren't that interested in the deeply character-driven and self-contained plot of the saga, but want to play with a kind of worldbuilding that focuses on minutiae. This is of course fine for them to enjoy, but it's totally incompatible with the films and how the entire canon universe runs so it shouldn't be canonised- yet those are usually the kind of people who want to write tie-in novels. Inevitably, this shifts the tone and conventions of the universe away from the message around which they were originally built.

The fandom was also full of insecure dudebros who wanted a fairy tale built on a completely uncompromising idealism to be instead gritty and ~realistic~ and cynical so they could keep liking it as adults without their masculinity being threatened. Without their worldview being challenged. So we end up with the EU theme-rot and aggressive Wrong About Star Wars takes from the people who are now in charge of the canon. The rare vision of idealism gets pulled down and replaced with the same bloodthirsty American monomyth bullshit you get everywhere else in Hollywood.

There's nothing you can really do as the author to prevent this kind of thing. SW's message is so uncontrovertible and without subtlety that five year-olds get it no problem, but that has never stopped anyone from wildly misreading it. You can't control the audience. Having a fun action-adventure movie with super appealing characters and a vibrant world is going to reach far more people than are willing to accept a truly challenging message about unconditional compassion. I mean, kids will and do, and that's who Lucas says he wanted the films to be for, so he did all right on that.

#sw #writing #fandom #salt #I don't think sw is 'for kids' so much as it's 'for everyone' but that's what the man says #adult have too much baggage and need to 'outsmart' stories a lot of the time #which is one of the more irritating manifestations of modern media 'criticism'#and it becomes a vicious cycle where writers are now trying to 'outsmart' their audience and consequently writing garbage #but I've had that rant many times

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gffa · 4 years

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Scattered Star Wars Thoughts: - I’m about two thirds of the way through Empire’s End and I’m once again sad that we haven’t gotten anything like this in awhile--stuff happens in these books, the huge, big, galactic-level stuff happens! The Battle of Jakku! Rae Sloane vs Gallius Rax! The bombing of the New Republic ceremony! Mon Mothma’s struggles to keep the New Republic afloat and her political enemies trying to take her down! Sure, I love the books for the ragtag team I came to know and love, it’s still one of the top tier groups of new characters, but it’s also that stuff happens in this book, I get a good, strong look at the events that shape the galaxy in this era. I suspect (even though I have no proof) that SW deliberately moved away from this kind of thing, because they were filling up the space too quickly, there soon wasn’t going to be much room left for any kind of big events, between this and Bloodline, especially if they ever wanted to set a show or movie in that era. I sometimes half-wonder if we’re heading for another reboot after awhile, because they’ll want to free up some space or if we’re just going to get more “away from the main action” stories. Which I wouldn’t mind, if they were more like Spark of the Resistance because that was one of my favorite books of recent times, where it didn’t have to have a big impact, it could be a cute space adventure, but it was about characters I desperately wanted to have more interaction with. I guess that’s what was missing from Alphabet Squadron for me, that the new character stuff was SO GOOD, but Hera’s role really could have been filled by anyone. Empire’s End is giving us Han and Leia and Mon character moments, but a lot of them don’t have to be about the big galactic stuff, they can be little mini-adventures set between the bigger ones. On the other hand, the comics seem to be filling that niche more than the novels, and the comics are so good that I’m kind of fine with the priority seeming to be on them--even if I don’t think that’s intentional. (Or maybe it’s just me vastly preferring the comics over the novels, it seems like that’s where the good stuff is happening, imo.) Anyway. Empire’s End. I really do love this trilogy in a way that, looking back, is a lot sharper than a lot of what I’ve been feeling re: current SW. I wish Wendig would get another crack at writing SW, whether for these characters or someone else. And that the Bens would come back and write more, too. I was skimming over their From a Certain Point of View story and thinking about Join the Resistance! and I MISS THOSE STORIES. - I am doing pretty good at keeping up with my rewatch getting finished before the new season of TCW happens, I’m down to 1.8 episodes per day to reach my goal! :D Between that and the way I’ve been booking it through other stuff (it’s been so cold out lately that I don’t go out much, so I have more time to watch stuff) that I’m already a quarter of the way through my 2020 Resolutions list! - I just saw Ryan Bergara, Shane Madej, and Steven Lim launched Watcher and have a handful of videos up, so I’ll have those to watch, I also have a bunch of shows (Barry and Patriot mostly) waiting in the wings for when I finish with TCW, and of course more of The Untamed, and, well, THANK GOD SW IS QUIET RIGHT NOW, because it’s getting to be a bit Much. In a good way, but still! /wanted to grump - I finished the current season of Grace & Frankie and I really liked the first 3-4 episodes, I got a bunch of IRL LOLs out of them, but about halfway through the season it lost steam for me and the ending just felt weird, like, “Why are we going down this same path again? What was the point of that sub-plot?” and it just felt unfocused to me. I feel like, by this point, we’re six seasons in, Grace and Frankie lying about stuff from each other feels very, very retread, especially when Grace and Nick have talked about this before, that sometimes she has to choose him, not just Frankie all the time, and this storyline sort of ended up in a place that seemed to contradict that, and it does help to view this through the lens of Grace still has decades of lying and secrets as routine to recover from, she’s going to backslide, and I’m down for that, but I feel like this just didn’t quite acknowledge that it was part of a pattern she’s still working on, rather than ignoring that it comes with context of stuff that’s already happened in the show. I’m also losing my patience with a lot of the romantic partners drama on the show, like, I think they’ve been on a slow drive towards Coyote/Mallory for awhile and I hate it, I really don’t get any kind of spark between Frankie and Jack, Joan-Margaret and the guy she picked to marry didn’t have enough of a spark to make that storyline all that fun, Principal Dan being weird by the end was just *SIGH* (all the more so because I want Mallory to be with someone who Is Not Coyote). I do very much still love Barry/Brianna, I feel like the show does better at Brianna Is An Onion You Have To Peel Her Back In Layers, so going over similar ground makes sense. And I actually enjoyed Coyote/Jessica, they’re adorable, but it’s hard to get invested when I don’t think it’ll last. I actually really enjoy Bud/Allison and their mutual failboating conversation about their first times was delightful to watch. But I also sort of feel like I’m getting exhausted on Robert/Sol, it didn’t feel like there was any idea what to do with them this season, so they just sort of threw a bunch of things at the wall to see what would stick. Robert being like, “NO THIS IS A BAD IDEA” while Sol and Allison researched Bud’s family history was hilarious, MORE LIKE THAT, less of them keeping secrets from each other like that entire local theater storyline. Or even Sol’s health thing, which brought out different approaches to quality vs length of life at their age, that was a much more interesting story. I guess I wouldn’t mind retreading the same ground quite so much, if it felt like they were aware of it being part of a bigger whole, rather than just doing the same thing again, or if it felt like it was going somewhere (I think this is why I liked the Brianna/Barry stuff, it feels like it’s going somewhere), but that doesn’t mean the cast isn’t still delightful and the show isn’t still an absolute delight. It never feels flat or like they’re Flanderizing the characters, the human moments are still there and very genuine. (Grace and the other young wives was one of my favorite moments of the season! It was such a lovely, warm, human resolution.) The cast still delivers everything beautifully and they’re retreading these stories for a reason--though, I can’t lie, I’m curious to see what the final season has, in the way of a shake-up of the usual dynamics, as well as some more permanent resolution, one assumes. It still remains one of my favorite shows whenever it comes back! Scattered Star Wars Thoughts/2020 Resolutions Update: - Star Wars: The Clone Wars s3e02-20 Current total: 41/260 Scattered Everything Else Thoughts/ 2020 Resolutions Update: - Watchmen s01e01-09 - Bob’s Burgers s10e11 - The Good Place s04e11 - Grace & Frankie s06e01-13 Current total: 86/260 Star Wars Fic Recs 2020 Resolutions Update Current total written: 81/520

#scattered star wars thoughts

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melangequill · 4 years

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dswcp · 3 years

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Bring a bucket and a mop for this now-unusable onomatopoeia.

“Star Wars Annual 2018: The Lost Eggs of Livorno.” Marvel. April 18, 2018. Writer: Cavan Scott. Penciller and Inker: Alain Mauricet. Letterer: Tom B. Long. Colorist: Chris Fenoglio.

#star wars #star wars comics #jaxxon #ml08 #mel #original trilogy #marvel comics #cavan scott #alain mauricet #2018 #alien #droids #non-force users #rebel #star wars hangar #3 panels #clumsy!#sw adventures has good priorities

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elendiliel · 2 years

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2 10 and 23 for Helli Abbasa

2. Is your OC picky about food? What kinds of foods do they like and dislike? What do they consider a comfort or “safe” food?

Not remotely! There isn’t much Helli won’t at least try - mostly out of a sense of adventure and her determination to enjoy everything life has to offer, within reason, but partly because it doesn’t do for an interplanetary diplomat to be choosy about her meals.

She particularly likes sweet or spicy food - not in the same dish, preferably - and by the end of her apprenticeship could name and rank every bakery and sweetshop within a two-hour roof-climb of the Jedi Temple. One thing I don’t think she likes is the standard army ration bars; I can’t see flavour being a high priority to the people in charge of such things, but it’s as important as nutritional content to her. Words were probably had at least once on the subject.

Her comfort food would be anything high in carbohydrate (starch, sugar or both) and/or dairy (e.g. the SW equivalent to pizza and ice cream) that doesn’t take much time or effort to make.

10. Who’s the first person your OC goes to to talk about something that made them happy? Sad? Angry?

In the first case, whoever’s nearest, probably. When Helli’s happy about something, she doesn’t really care who knows that. Unfortunately, she has a bad habit of bottling up her negative emotions and trying to deal with them herself. When she’s younger, her master or her friends Nahdar and Ma’ro are usually the ones who persuade her to open up and let them help; later, it’s her brothers Torrent, Echo and (especially after Order 66) Fives. They’re the ones she seeks out on the rare occasions when she recognises that she needs to talk to someone. (After the Citadel, she tries not to burden Echo with her problems - unless she thinks they’d make a good distraction from his own.)

23. Who would this OC consider their family? What is their relationship with these people?

Oh, this one’s complicated... The shortest answer would be “everyone”. To Helli, every child of the Maker is a brother or sister, to be loved and respected as such - but not always easy to like. Within that, the Jedi Order is her family, especially her master and closest friends, who are as good as father and siblings to her. Her squad during the Clone Wars also become her brothers, and the padawans she ends up taking on after Order 66 her children. She expands her definition of “family” over the years to include everyone from fellow rebels to people who have previously tried to kill her (occasionally the same person), without losing any of her affection for her existing aliit. The more love she gives away, the more she has to give, and the more she receives.

(Thank you very much for this ask. I hadn’t even thought about some of these questions before, though for others I could write an essay - and nearly did.)

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djs-muses · 6 years

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Tagged by: @imagination-institute

Rule one: tag nine people you want to get to know better.

@drifting-dominator @adventurer-in-blue @virtuosoofchaos @dvlaunchpad-mcquack @nerdytriplet @scrooqe @therichestduck and anyone else who wants to do this!

Rule two: bold the true statements:

I am 5'7 or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

My abs are somewhat defined

I have or had braces

I love meeting new people (but I’m so shY about it)

People tell me I’m funny

Helping people with their problems is a big priority to me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude to people I know well

I started to say something ironically, now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

I can play an instrument

I can sing well

I can do 30 push-ups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing Maths in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least two people in an arm wrestle

I know how to cook at least three meals from scratch

I can throw a punch

I enjoy sports

I have learned a new song in the past week

I’ve gone running at least once a week in summer

I work out at least once a week

I have drawn something in the last month

I enjoy writing

I have done martial arts

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored a winning goal in sports

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been to an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in a hospital/er in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

I have at least one person I consider a best friend

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the US

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with friends in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with somebody

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least three relationships

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush for over a year

I have been in a relationship for more than a year

I have had feelings for a friend (protip: don’t do it *wheezes*)

I have break danced

I know a person called Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I am listening to a song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I have known someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the last year ( Let’s be real like, all of my RP parters that I speak to on a regular basis here and over on my Zim blogs and on my SW blog... Y’all are great. )

#{{ Munday;; }}

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yeahwesaidthat · 7 years

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TWWS: The Best of D&D

Ladiiiiiiiies and gentlemeeeeeeeeeeen! Welcome to the ultimate showdown: THE BEST OF D&D!

This post contains the best of the best of the D&D/RPG posts over the years of TWWS, all the way from the beginning. At the end of the post, there will be a link to a survey where you can vote for your favourites in each category (other/3.5e, 4e, and 5e) and nominate MVPs for each category. If the person you want to vote MVP has only been referenced as “Player,” just note down what quote they’re responsible for. A week from today (or until enough of you fill out the survey), Round 2 of the competition begins.

Everybody roll for initiative!

Overheard During Other RPGs

During Hackmaster, about a bottle label: SB: “It says ‘Thou shalt not question the DM over inane shit!’”

Overheard During D&D 3.5e

Unarmed damage?: MM: “It’s the difference between a slap and a bitch-slap.”

So wrong it's right: MM (IC): “I like your spunk.” KH (OOC): “So does [gay player].”

Rogue equipment: KB (IC): “I need [boots] that are…soft-sounding.” MM (IC): “We have socks.”

Describing a character: SO: “She is built like a brick shithouse.” DM: “She shits brick houses.” Bubbles: “She makes brick houses shit bricks.”

When the party has two rogues: KH (IC): “I can find it!” KB (IC): “I can find it better.”

RD (IC): “[Wizard], if you do not stop right now, I will arrest you for terminal stupidity, and I can assure you, I will find a law against it!”

A discount on services rendered: SO: “What’s 75% off of ‘I run and do whatever you ask without question’?”

Calling for divine help in very specific situations: MM: “Please state your current medical emergency.” KB: “Head-splosion.” SO: “If you have been stabbed, press one. If you are currently being stabbed, press two.” MM: “If your head’s detonated and you’ve launched into a wall, press three.” RD: “Why did you press three? We never expected anyone to press three!” SO: “We don’t know what to do in this medical emergency! Please dial again!”

IO: “[Wizard] is going to say - ” KB: “Can I tell you why this is a bad idea?” IO: “No.”

Proper procedure when everything goes to hell: RD: “[Cleric] goes outside and makes a magic circle, sits in it, and cries.”

KH (IC): “That stupid fucking son of a flea-ridden bitch cunt wizard - ” MM (IC): “Oh, him.”

How to pray to the god Ao: KB, KH, and MM: “I throw my hands up in the air sometimes sayin’ heeeeey-oh! I worship Aaaaaaa-o!” Bubbles: “[The wizard’s] gaaaaaaaay-o!"

Overheard During D&D 4e

SIDE NOTE: A Quiplash commentary on D&D 4e: A more environment-friendly alternative to toilet paper - 4th ed character sheets

What we think we saw - again?: Player: “If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and weighs the same as a duck, it must be a witch.” KH: “It’s a witch.” RJ: “Build a bridge out of 'er!”

Healing needed: Player: “I have a mess kit, will that help?” WS: “Only if you want to make a mess.”

Captain: “Neverwinter ho!” Dwarf: “Hos? Where?”

SB: “Eventually you end up at the most popular stall in the market.” Player: “Porn?”

About attacking a character that may or may not be good: SB: “Wait, what’s your alignment?” Player: “Lawful Paranoid.”

Taunting the kraken: Player: “Your tentacles are so short even an anime girl wouldn’t take 'em!”

Questioning the legitimacy of an NPC: SB (IC as Priest): “I have a degree in polytheism from the University of Phoenix Online!”

Making sure it’s really dead: SB: "You kick the head and it goes sailing through the open door of the tomb. You hear a voice in the darkness go ’Gooooooooal!’”

Killing the undead: SB: “Congratulations, you choked something to death that doesn’t breathe.”

Mass undead murder: Player: “We made a ghoul-ash. An evil gumbo, really.”

Architecture: Player: “I like big buttresses and I cannot lie.”

Interesting kills: SB: “You decapitated him with a bludgeoning weapon.”

About flying books: Player 1: “The window opens in! How do they fly out?” Player 2: “They’re paperbacks."

Player: “Thank God I decided to engage the dragon in melee.” MW: “You’ll never hear that in any other D&D campaign ever again.”

Player: “Is the food still on the table?” Three Of Us: “DON’T EAT IT!!!”

Overheard During D&D 5e

Annoying Teen: (about his character) “Would he still hate me?” AD: (not about his character) “I think everyone hates you.”

Don’t mess with a dire bear: JI: “There’s one inside who attacks the bear…" (rolls) "...and misses horribly ‘cause he shits his pants.”

JI: “He doesn’t have 100 hit points. He has 95.”

Demonic insight: KH: “I say in Infernal, ‘Peace! We mean you no harm!’” JI: “There’s no word in Infernal for ‘peace.’” Retroactive Edit: Demons actually speak Abyssal. Devils speak Infernal.

Animal form disadvantages: AD: “I’m going to bite [the zombie].” Everyone Else: (mass noise of disgust)

JI: “You feel a pinch in your mind as if she’s flipping through your yellow pages.” AD: “That’s got to be a euphemism for something.” ST: “Oh, yeah, baby, turn my yellow pages.” JB: “Turn to ‘F’ for fun.”

What happens in every religious venue in every D&D campaign ever: JB: “Here is the church, here is the steeple,” KH: “Open the door, and here are the zombies.”

KH: “Did you sneak off to her house in the middle of the night?” ST: “Does that sound like something I would do?” KH, AD, and CD: “Yes.”

JI: “You guys came in here - ” AD: “ - like a wrecking ball - ”

Post-adventure considerations: KH: “[Rogue] wouldn’t know what to do with her life.” AD: “She can bail herself out of jail.”

Switching to melee for a change: CD: “Let’s see if this ‘offense’ thing you do all the time really works.” (rolls a critical hit)

The logistics of being swallowed by a sea monster: ST: “Am I going to take damage if I move further along his digestive tract?”

EC: “If you had leprosy and your ears fell off would you be a deaf leper?”

Identifying mysterious cults: KH: “What’s the Cult of Howling Hatred?” EC: “The Westboro Baptist Church, obviously.”

DR: “Apparently your god has personally intervened due to your badassery.”

A Mass Effect cameo on a dexterity check for dancing: EC: “If you roll a one, you dance like Shepard.”

EC (IC): “So what you’re saying is that it’s very dangerous and we shouldn’t go in. I’ll take point.”

Things to worry about in combat: KH: “You don’t have enough hit points to take it like a man, honey.”

The ends justify the means?: Bubbles: “Did you have fun role-playing an interrogation?” DR: “You guys are fucked up.”

KH: “How do you stun-lock a Terrasque?!?” JB: “Fourth Edition.”

ST: “Do we have to kill them before we eat? I hate murdering on an empty stomach.”

About a revenant and a possible lover: EC: “Well the beast is committing necrophilia and the necro is committing bestiality…” DR: “What happens in Faerun, et cetera.”

Rolling high on a seduction check: DR: “Frankly, I didn’t think you’d go down this road.” KH: “Oh, I went down all right.”

More on the seduction roll: Bubbles: “Try to convince her to come with us. The way she came with you last night.”

About a nonviolent kua-toa: Player: “He’s a paci-fish.”

About dealing with face-hugging enemies: CD: “You swung at yourself and missed?” AD: “I swung at myself and missed.”

ST (IC): “I’ll be staying in the boat unless you have need of my specific skills.” CD (OOC): “Dying first is not a skill.”

About cultists: DM (IC): “They are water people. Maybe they’re just going with the flow.”

About a minotaur who keeps missing: DM: “At least when you put a bull in a china shop he’ll break shit.”

About bottles of brandy: EC: “I have two questions: how many of them are there and how many of them can I carry?”

Ideas so bad they’re good: KH: “We’re gonna blow up the temple with the distillery.” F: “The temple, the lich, half the plot…”

About going forward: KH: “Against our better judgment.” DM: “What better judgment?” KH: “Good point.”

About shooting arrows: KH: “'Nock’ yourself out.”

About using a lot of magic: JS: “We’re blowing a big load here right now.”

JS: “You wanna go up the shaft?” ST and T: “That’s what he said.”

About flirting with an efreet: JI: “Below her waist is a trailing cloud of black smoke, so you’re not getting anything.”

Questioning the guardian imp: Player (IC): “What happens if someone disturbs the sarcophagus before your time is up?” WS (IC): “There’ll be six more weeks of winter.”

MR (IC): “Trying to undercut me on my quest to restore my former glory?” KH (IC): “You have no glory to restore.” Other Players: “Oooooooh!” SW: “Quick, someone cast heal!”

When talking with a spirit: MR (IC): “You can’t just ask someone if they’re dead! That’s incredibly rude! The correct term is ‘mortally challenged’!”

After a petrifying encounter with some basilisks: BC: “I always thought she was stone-hearted.” KT: “I dunno, I thought she rocked.” JS: “I am going to kill all of you.”

What to do with windmills: KH: “If we had a lance, we could go tilting.” MR: “Cavalier idea.”

Quest priorities: Player 1: “No one’s going to pay us to do it right now. It’s not worth the attention.”

JF: “Roll to see if you hit me by accident.” KH: “Oh, I’d hit you on purpose.”

K’s paladin chastising A’s paladin about her sex habits: A (IC): “I thought you were the paladin of joy!” K (IC): “Not that kind of joy!”

About a previous edition of D&D: KH: “[What] the hell couldn’t you do in 3.5?” SW: “Win.”

KH: “Technically you’re underage.” ST: “That’s never stopped me before.” AD: “You or your character?” ST: “Do I have to answer that?”

D: “We’re gonna make the Underdark great again!” ST: “We’re gonna build a wall - a really big wall in the Underdark, and we’re gonna make the gnomes pay for it.” A: “We pay for everything already! Screw you!”

About a character who caught fire: T: “He’s not rolling initiative; he’s rolling on the ground.”

T (IC): “Let’s go before the men’s egos get us killed.”

JB (IC): “My god believes in good opportunities. Not dying is a good opportunity.”

Passing on some bad news: JI (IC): “[Chief] not sick!” AD (IC): “He was when we were done with him.”

To a healer: KH (IC): “I don’t suppose you have a cure for the common cold?” JI (IC): “I’m not a miracle worker.”

Reassuring a woman scorned: AA (IC): “Go tell her - all men dogs.” JI (OOC): “Says the cat.”

To the tune of “Like a G6”: ST and KH: “Roll a d6, roll a d6!”

KH: “Of course it’s always about dirty sex - I’m a bard!” AD: “The hell are you two talking about down there?!”

To a mindflayer, about a stupid character: KH (IC): “I’d offer you his brain to eat, but I don’t think he has one.” JS (IC as mindflayer): “I don’t eat junk food.”

MGW: “It’s Tza…Zsa…his name is Jasper.”

Saying goodbye to the barkeep: MR (IC): “I’ll be back visiting the northern parts soon.” KH (OOC): “And then you can visit her southern parts.”

About a questionable NPC: ST (IC): “I would never dream of hurting you!” KH (IC): “I would.”

About prison visitations: JB (IC): “How often is it that a [gypsy] walks in here voluntarily?”

Failing a romance/persuasion check: AA: “Ooh, she cast Zone of Friend!”

Preparing for a swamp adventure: CD: “I want to buy some insect repellant.” AD: “What, your personality doesn’t drive them away?”

About a magic boat: JB (IC): “I saw it grow!” ST (IC): “Are you sure you didn’t rub it? That sometimes happens with wood.” JB (IC): “You would know.” ST (IC): “You wouldn’t.” JB (IC): “Tell that to my two children.”

About an injured drow: MGW (IC): “Look at that poor girl! She has a black eye! You can’t see it, ‘cause her skin is black, but still!”

Last-minute aliases: RD (IC): “Unfortunately, no, my name is Dick Ballsenshaft.”

To a half-orc and Sir Bearington, regarding weirdness: MGW (IC): “…but for me to assume you’re in a loving relationship with a talking bear is where we draw the line?!”

Wisdom for stealing magic items: KC: “Anything that glows goes.”

About fleeing: RD: “I’m going to run like an Amazon employee during the holidays.”

MGW: “You were doing so well until everybody died.” JF: “D&D in a summary.”

Once more about fleeing: RD: “A smart man knows when to run like a little bitch.” J: “Why do you think that’s the first thing I did?”

Recapping the previous session: A: “There was a shitshow, but we got away with it.” S: “So the usual, then.”

About creature size: MR: “Is an ettin large or huge?” MGW: “I think he’s just large.” A: “He’s probably large but pretends he’s huge.” AS: “Typical guy.”

When a pervy character is disgusted by a perv: RD: “Dear Kettle, I have an issue with your current hue. Signed, the Pot.”

A: “He told us to send a message.” KH: “A sword in the stomach is a message.” SW: “The Lannisters send their regards.”

The pervy paladin: A: “I used Lay On Hands. I healed him.” KH: “Yeah, but where did you lay your hands?” MGW: “Wherever she wanted.”

About our tactics: SW: “We put the 'fun’ in 'dysfunctional.’”

About possible activities: MGW (IC): “I know you’re a tiefling, but we’re all the same color in the dark, right?”

Interesting weapon material: MGW: “You all take a moment of reflective silence.” JB: “Nah, I’m just cleaning my bone.” KH: “Technically that’s a moment of reflective silence.” KC: “Not if you’ve seen the barbarian do it.”

Scrying like bad cell reception: KH: “Switch to AD&D.” JB: “Can you scry me now?”

About the taste of human: SW: “You would know.” A: “Nah, I don’t swallow.” MR: “This conversation is making me uncomfortable.”

Wrestling prep: MR (IC): “I want a good, clean fight.” A (IC): “No we don’t.” JB (IC): “What’s a clean fight?” A (IC): “It means you have to take a bath first.” JB (IC): “What’s a bath?”

MGW: “There’s a bridge that looks like it may have collapsed at some point.” JB: “Is it a-bridged?”

Beautiful references (read in Rorschach’s voice): AA: “I’m not grappled with YOU,” ST, AA, and KH: “YOU’RE grappled with ME!”

About remaining spells: KH: “I have three 1st-level slots and one 2nd-level slot.” CD: “Those are 'keeping people alive’ slots.”

Dealing with extra-limbed gorillas: ST: “Uh-oh! They must have been forewarned!” AD: “What makes you say that?” ST: “Forewarned is four-armed.” AD: -_-

Negotiation skills: AD: “It’s just me trying to bullshit him.” JI: “Why don’t you make a bullshit check?”

Trying to figure out if the staff is necromantic: CD: “We could kill a mouse in front of the staff. We could kill a mouse with the staff. How much is it to buy a mouse?”

JB: “Anyone die while I was gone?” SW: “Not on the outside.”

Wizarding limits: JS: “You may not polymorph your zombies into t-rexes.”

Zombies aren’t too smart: BC (IC): “Bobs, attack the closest gnoll!” Bobs: (run at gnoll party member) KH (OOC): “Et tu, Bob?” JS (OOC): “If this doesn’t belong in your blog, I dunno what does.”

Far too relatable: JS: “Twenty psychic damage.” BC: “I’ve taken more psychic damage from my mother.”

Worst-laid plans: KH (IC): “I have a very bad feeling about this.” MR (IC): “You should.”

Our go-to combat tactic: MR: “Are we going to stupid the guy to death?”

Zing!: MGW (IC): “If you join me, I can make you the greatest dwarf who ever lived.” TP (IC): “I am the greatest dwarf who ever lived.” Whole Table (OOC): “Ooooohhhhh!!!”

Another verbal duel with a sea god/character class limitations: KH: “I would say 'what is a god to a nonbeliever,’ but I’m a cleric.”

Activating the mysterious device: BC (IC): “We did it! I wonder what we did?”

Business as usual: KH: “This seems like a bad idea, but go ahead.”

Old adages: MR: “No plan survives contact with the enemy.” (IC) “But then, no enemy has survived contact with us!” (OOC) “Was that quote-worthy?” KH: “Yes.”

KC: “She can ride me. I don’t care.” KH: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KC: “…I’M A BEAR IN ARMOR.”

Advantageous druidic inanity: KC: “Are you still riding the flying bear?” MR: “It’s flying now?” KC: “Yeah, he flew up to unlock the door.” AS: “…So he’s a flying bear with armor…”

Spell modifications for humourous purposes: MR: “Using a Dex[terity] save for Zone of Truth means they’re literally dodging the question.”

About a wild, crazy, out-of-left-field hypothesis: RD (IC): “I figured if you pulled something that big our of your ass there’d be bleeding involved.” MR (IC): “…That’s between me and my proctologist.” SW (OOC): “Did you take fire damage for that? That’s like Taco Bell levels of burn.”

As is per usual: MR: “We may have once again survived this by the skin of bullshit.”

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