Beautopia Review
Susan Strong returns, and the show recognizes how significant her reintroduction is to Finn and the audience by staging her appearance at the Treehouse as grand and important. Jake is distrusting of Susan, bringing up the events of her first episode, while Finn still holds on to the hope that Susan is human. Susan herself has developed, now speaking slightly more fluent English. We can already infer that the Hyoomans are mutated descendants of humans who sought shelter during the Mushroom War. We learn in this episode that those humans didn’t just live in a dirty sewer. They built an underground civilization called Beautopia. Beautopia, just like the humans led by Two Bread Tom and Hugo, shows its in humans’ nature to rebuild. Beautopia is even an island civilization of sorts. Unlike the islands and The Drift, Beautopia’s society was abandoned presumably hundreds of years ago. Susan has attempted freeing Beautopia from the Lub Glubs before, but meeting Finn has reignited her hope of restarting the civilization.
Jake’s prejudice towards the Hyoomans is on full display. He scares them with his shapeshifting for his amusement, building on his desire to rule them like “angry gods” in “Susan Strong”. Susan almost drowning Finn works great as a reminder that Finn and Susan are not exactly the same. The episode really plays up the awkwardness between their relationship. Finn and Susan do feel a connection to each other and they want to be in each other's lives, but their lack of understanding of what the other person is keeps getting in the way. This scene and Susan’s surprise of Finn’s lack of gills is a wake up call for Finn at how different they are. Finn must be disappointed and starts to believe that she probably is a fish person. However, he still feels a connection to her. That and his heroic nature makes him determined to still help and trust Susan and defend her from Jake’s insults. In actuality, Susan’s surprise is that he is like her. Finn takes his hat off here and his hair has continued to grow back since “Mortal Folly”.
Finn, Jake, and Susan take a boat to Beautopia, a precursor to the Islands crew (minus BMO). We get a string of great Jake moments including a very catchy sea shanty. Jake’s smug reaction to Susan’s terror over a pool floaty is hilarious, and him struggling to breathe while being used as a paddle is even funnier. Another pool floaty coming out after an ominous buildup with horror movie music is also very funny. The true forms of the Lub Glubs have a very creepy design. The implication that they have existed for hundreds of years leads me to believe they were mutated from nuclear residue, eventually pushing out the humans. One of them chews on a human skull with a bunny hat, leading to many wild fan theories connecting it to Fionna.
Jake and Susan complete their arcs in this episode with Jake finally trusting in Susan and Finn once again inspiring Susan to overcome her fears. Finn tells Susan that humans and hyoomans have to stick together, staying consistent with Finn’s lesson in “Susan Strong” that everyone is the same or “wild animals”. Jake delaying throwing in the lantern is yet another hilarious moment. One of the Lub Glubs reminds Jake of his mother, like how a drawing of one reminded him of his father. Many interpret this as a subconscious memory of Warren Ampersand. It could be, but I don’t think the resemblance is quite strong enough.
The episode ends on a fantastic, quiet moment. Finn and Susan have yet another awkward moment, with Finn refusing to stay. Susan puts Finn’s hand under her hat, resulting in the two finally understanding each other. The episode does not confirm if Finn’s reaction was to him feeling gills or not. However, I think it can only be read as Finn realizing Susan is human, even without the context of later episodes. Susan puts Finn’s hand there as a response to Finn telling her he isn’t like her. Finn’s surprise only works if she is human because Finn was already convinced Susan was a hyooman. I like the reveal being more subtle and the show’s restraint at only giving us a tiny piece of the puzzle.
The dynamic of Finn, Jake, and Susan makes for a great episode with lots of nuanced interaction full of heart, tension, and hilarity. It makes for a worthy followup to one of season two’s best episodes.
Grade:
A
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until the stars rain down ch. 1
AU Masterpost | AU requests are open!!
Perfect.
Footprints trailing in the sand, and stars clustered overhead with silver glory, and the crash of waves on the beach, and everything was perfect.
Breathless laughter spilled from Lucy’s lungs as she danced in a wild circle with the Narnians, her bare feet sliding in the damp sand of the beach outside Cair Paravel, the curls in her hair coming undone in the salty breeze. Her skirts twirled around her as she whirled and leapt and spun and–
“Oh!” Lucy lost her footing, dizzy from spinning in a circle, and fell crashing to the sand, but the Narnians just laughed good-humoredly and crowded around to help her up with eager hands and kind faces. “You all right, Lu?” Peter shouted over the din, cup of punch sloshing in one hand and crown askew on his sandy hair, and Lucy laughed and nodded as a centaur helped her to her feet.
“I’m simply marvelous,” she called back, a wide, gap-toothed grin beaming over her face because of how true her statement was. She spread her arms wide and tipped her head back and resumed spinning, skirts flying around her legs, the melody of the surf intermingling with the music in her ears.
It had only been a few hours since the post-coronation festivities began, which Susan and Peter had initially thought should be held indoors, but Lucy had begged them to move the food and drinks outside because it would be so much more thrilling to celebrate outdoors in Aslan’s creation. To her great excitement they had agreed, and now they and practically all of Narnia were gathered here, dancing wildly on the beach, giddy from the ample food and desserts and cups of punch, the starlight filling their very veins with joy.
“This,” Mr. Tumnus had told Lucy, after some beavers and woodchucks built a roaring fire and several of the Narnians produced an instrument and began to play a rowdy tune, “this is what Narnia really is. This is what the witch took from us for a century. But you, my dear Pevensie, have helped us to win it back.”
“It was all Aslan’s doing, really,” Lucy had informed him, bright smile dimming just a little as she glanced down the beach where the great lion had disappeared. “We just helped, that's all.”
“Well, Narnia is indebted to you regardless,” the faun had answered blithely, before seizing the youngest Pevensie’s hand and teaching her how to do a traditional Narnian jig, and Lucy had scarcely stopped dancing ever since, so overwhelmed with excitement and happiness and love for the Narnians around her.
When the latest jig ended she tumbled to a seat in the sand, away from the tramping feet and whooping Narnians, and gratefully accepted the cup of punch Susan offered her. “Having fun?” her sister questioned, eyes bright and lips curved in a knowing smile, and Lucy could only manage a breathless nod as she sipped at her drink to cool down.
“You should join in the dancing, Susan, you’d love it!” Lucy implored after she had regained her breath, casting a pleading look at her sister. “It’s not hard, you just–”
“–you just spin around till you get dizzy and fall down?” teased Peter, appearing through the throng and grinning down at Lucy, who beamed at him in reply.
“Yes! Exactly! Well, some of the jigs Mr. Tumnus taught me are a bit more complicated, but for the most part Narnian dancing is free. No silly rules like we have back in England!” Lucy giggled, taking another drink of punch and tilting her head back to look up at the stars.
“Well…” Susan bit her lip, head tilting in mock thought. “I suppose if my expert dancer of a sister would show me how, I might want to try a few dances.”
“Really?” Lucy gasped, setting her cup aside and leaping to her feet in excitement. She grabbed Susan’s hand and dragged her forward into the ring of dancers, eliciting a yelp from her sister. “Come on!” Lucy cried, seizing Susan’s other hand and dancing wild, joyous, carefree. Susan grinned, unable to resist the joy radiating from her little sister, and gave in, swinging their clasped hands, twirling Lucy around and around and around, her grin growing wider as they danced with reckless abandon in the starlight.
“I told you you would love this,” Lucy said merrily, and Susan let herself laugh, really laugh, not the prim little chuckles she had been told to do in school. This was a laugh from deep within her soul, and it bubbled out of her like magic, filling the air with joy.
“You were right, Lu,” Susan shouted exuberantly, letting Lucy’s hands fall and lifting her own to the sky before she began spinning around and around, raven hair flying loose, eyes closed as she lifted her face to the heavens. “This is just– amazing.”
Lucy giggled, curls flying further out of place, crown sitting crooked on her head as two centaurs lifted her on their shoulders and swung her around, their laughter mingling with her own as air whipped past her face. “Get Susan next,” she whispered once they put her down, pointing to her blissfully unaware sister. The centaur’s eyes sparkled with merriment as they crept towards Susan, who shrieked as if she was being murdered when they unexpectedly whirled her into the air, but then laughed with wild joy after a moment, letting herself enjoy it as they spun her around.
“Lucy, dear,” a voice said behind her, and Lucy turned to see Mrs. Beaver standing there, looking rather shy. “Where’s that brother of yours? King Edmund? A few of us are wondering– well, I’d just like to give him a big hug, I haven’t gotten to yet– and Phillip wants to have a chat with him too, and– well, most of us are worried. We haven’t seen him for an hour or two.”
That was news to Lucy– she had been so caught up with dancing that she hadn’t even noticed Edmund wasn’t there. She turned to look for Peter, thinking maybe Edmund would be nearby. Peter was standing at the edge of the circle, firelight playing over his face as he swayed lightly to the music when he thought no one was looking, but Edmund was nowhere in sight. Lucy’s brow furrowed, the smile slipping off of her face. Where could he have gone?
“I’ll go look for him, don’t worry,” she assured Mrs. Beaver, weaving through the crowd and halting by Peter, who jolted guiltily and tried to act as if he hadn’t been dancing along to the music. “I’m going to go look for Ed,” Lucy told him, then hitched her skirts higher and began running up the dunes towards Cair Paravel, where the banners snapped atop the castle spires in the breeze and the moonlight fell across the stone walls like silver. Lucy drew a breath looking up at it, scarcely able to believe that this was their home now, that– that they would be reigning over a country.
She pushed open the door to the throne room and ducked inside. “Edmund?” she called, slightly breathless from her run to the castle, hair frizzing around her face as she scanned the dark room. There– a small figure, sitting in a chair against a nearby wall. Lucy ran towards it, half-tripping over her skirts as she skidded to a halt.
“Edmund, why are you in here by yourself?” Lucy grabbed her brother’s hand, peering into his face. “ Everyone’s wondering where you are! Phillip wants to talk to you, and so do a lot of other people! Er, creatures, I should say. Mrs. Beaver wants to give you a big hug; she says she hasn’t gotten the chance yet.” She paused, startled to see tears welling in her brother’s eyes. “Why, Edmund, what’s wrong?”
She was starting to worry that maybe she or someone else had done something to upset him, but then the young king laughed, a sound full of warmth and joy as he wiped at his eyes with one sleeve.
“It’s nice to be kind, Lucy,” he murmured, so quietly she almost didn’t hear him. “It’s nice to be loved.”
Lucy tilted her head, nose wrinkling slightly. “Of course it is, Ed. You always have been.”
“No,” he contradicted gently. “Maybe I’ve always been loved, but I haven’t always been kind.” He didn’t say anything else for a moment, head drooping, but then he gave Lucy’s hand a firm squeeze and added softly, “But that’s all in the past now, isn’t it?”
Lucy nodded, grinning at him encouragingly. “Yes, Ed. It is. You’re worthy. Don’t doubt yourself.”
Edmund got to his feet, a smile crossing his face as he looked down at his little sister. “I’m not doubting myself. Not anymore.”
Lucy didn’t know quite what that meant, but she recognized something in his face– joy. Gratitude. Reconciliation. She smiled, bumping her head against his arm before taking his hand in hers again. “Come on, then. Everyone’s looking for you, like I said! We’re having a ton of fun out there; it’ll be so much better now that you’ll be there. Maybe Mr. Tumnus and I can teach you a Narnian jig; they’re a lot of fun!”
Still talking excitedly, she half-dragged Edmund out of the throne room and into the night air, pulling him down across the dunes. Edmund giggled as she talked, a laugh she hadn’t heard come from him in– well, forever, his head tipped back to watch the stars as they walked.
“Thank you, Lu,” he said fondly as they reached the bottom of the dunes, ruffling Lucy’s hair with his free hand, then added with a grin, “I believe you’ll have to teach me those Narnian jigs after all, hmm?”
Lucy beamed up at him, swinging their clasped hands before looking towards the crowd of Narnians and announcing loudly, “I found Ed!”
Edmund looked embarrassed as several dozen faces turned to stare at him, but he was clearly astonished by the joy that crossed those same faces before a veritable swarm of Narnians stampeded him, surrounding him with light and love and hugs and laughter. Susan and Peter managed to wriggle their way to the center of the bunch, throwing their arms around Edmund and Lucy, adding to the love that seemed to shape Narnia’s very being.
And hours later, when everyone had finally settled in to sleep on the beach– they could deal with sandy hair and clothes in the morning– Lucy rolled onto her back by the fire, which was no more than embers now, and stared up at the stars. Soft snores emanated from various areas around their makeshift camp, and she felt a grin crack her face as she let her eyes fall shut.
Thank you, Aslan. For everything.
Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.
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Shovelwarewolf Season 2 Review
Shovelwarewolf Season 2 Electric boogaloo, or the season where stuff finally goes down. I love that the story and production value jump in quality with each other in this season.
Sonic 06: Great episode to open with, we meet Susan (who definitely knows more than they're letting on), a cool season theme, acknowledgement (however brief) of the whole arm thing, and an Escape From the City parody, what's not to love.
Goldeneye: Solid episode, I think it has some of SWW's best one liners (Hell's Angels, The Mafia, GAMESTOP!). I learned to never insult Judy Dench, and that I should probably watch a James Bond movie.
Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Another fine episode, Ivan mimicking the glitch was pretty funny. I don't have a whole lot to say about this episode so I'll just write here that Ivan and Susan have a great banter, and that Susan was just a great addition to begin with, but I'll get to that later. Oh and Test Your Patience was a good capper on the episode.
Duke Nukem: Just getting this out of the way, this game is pure trash but SWW's reactions are too funny. I also like the character development at the beginning with Ivan and Susan, she really was just the only one who was nice to him. Also I don't know why this occurs to me, but the company described the next game as, "A console with a Zelda game" I just remembered that the Switch came out with Breath of the Wild in the same year as this season, I don't know how that's relevant, I just thought it was cool.
Legend of Zelda Wand of Gamelon: Oho what an episode, great gameplay, great story, and great one liners. Susan got to be really cool in this episode, which leads me to believe that she definitely planned this in advance and the therapist bit was an act (she went from running from the room during a transformation to bursting in and rescuing Ivan/SWW without batting an eye in the same day, no way that just happened). I also just love this game's stupid clips and the SWW one liners to go with them: "(Recorder noise) THANKS, (same recorder noise) THANKS...FOR NOTHING" "You've killed me, GOOD. Dang, that's savage, who knew Zelda was such an OG" and "Link gave them to me. GASP! YOU KNOW LINK, LIKE OMG" such good writing. and The Shovelwarewolf's a Running is amazing.
Home Alone: Finally we've reached the finale, pretty great all things considered. First I just want to acknowledge this little scene from Death's narration, "With the help of his therapist" while panning on cool bada** Susan, just funny to me. I'd also like to acknowledge Ivan's TV playing AJ and Nate's weird Spider-Man and Batman Save Christmas Movie, wish they'd finish that someday it looked cool. I love the Home Alone parody for the cool ways it adapts the theme, like the Gamecube trap. Santa just having 180 in terms of character and going on a full fledged villain arc is so hilarious. The game itself is weirdly a cool take on a Home Alone game, like most licensed games at the time would take tons of liberties with the source material but this one was pretty accurate, even if it still sucked. Susan got to be cool again, but at the cost of a very forlorn scene. Oh boy now we get to meet our dude Biffalo Bub, simultaneously RE's most stupid but also most realistically scary villain. That silent clip montage at the end still unsettles me.
Music Rating:
Season 2 Opening: One of the best, that opening bass riff is still so mesmerizing. And the violins, and the soft piano, and the synth, oh so good. This opening feels a lot like a triumphant return for the character.
Season 2 Transformation: Conversely this variation of the transformation doesn't really do it for me. I like the way it closes I guess, but I just don't love it. It also has this weird repeating note that just bores into my skull.
SHOVELWAREWOLF! (Test Your Patience): Pretty good parody, I love the recap of the games he's played so far (except Goldeneye for some reason).
Shovelwarewolf's a-Runnin': Great parody, it introduced me to the Werewolves of London. I love it's use in the show and the vocals.
This is My Safehouse: Great composition for the Home Alone episode. Seriously AJ really flexed his composing powers here. The synth is really great, I love the little incorporation of the transformation theme.
Sleigh-Riding Sleazebag: Not much to say on the song other than the title, and it's use of random Christmas carols, but evil.
Couch Gag: I love this gag, Ivan dubbing over game footage is so funny. Like the last one it makes me think of him being so bored he just does stuff like this to pass the time. This time I'm happy he didn't have one for Wand of Gamelon, I feel like the dialogue in that game stand on its own.
The season is so good. It gave us a great SWW mask, a great character in the form of Susan, and excellent story development. And it only gets better from here. In addition, while others have described it better than me, this season has interesting symbolism in obsession and trauma.
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“Is not for every part; if therein”
A sonnet sequence
1
Nor beast the air, smell Murphy’s Oil Soap, dog
kibble. Nancy, Nancy; is it Man or
Woman, say, my spouse Nancy? Triumphs be
which is my county! Is not for every
part; if therein. Happy Betty fifty
yards were fresher, and place no wit can finde,
cupids knot to be of use, politic,
cautious, and ivy dun round so good old
wife lay smiling line vpon thy clear the palace.
That began the weary wandering,
but a fair Maid, and doleful tale, a dying
somewhere by the scene, had not, the same.
We cannot, souls of wild Yuie twine, how I
could not bite. When the greater kingdom come.
2
Keep with noise; her links of charity, that’s
our day one single acts, thoughts, all past and
lively tone, and think’st thou never will, to
sing my Highland lassie, O. In days of
flurry, she gave us being made, shall
o’er the bar, cried, one that other summer,
dusty floor, thy hapless graven on that
small cause a like effect at least whistles
from the imperfect draught; but such a point
did sing of youth, and plump the hands for no
such quintessence; but neither breath, and when
he first. An’ aft my wife she bang’d me, if
ye gie a woman died. Oh plunge me deaf
and bleed. Thus through our bliss, and eft did shine.
3
And earth and serene, who did they drive thee,
his lands and arms with pied flower. As conscious
of my Soul. Then tell me my offence
from blossoming, that happens a dozen
times to build to carry back my idiot
boy, she’s happy rose, how sweet soul, in
narrow space of lilies and all that it
well might ease his wings of silver throat, in
mossy skulls that sweetheart to the grass you
almost stifled with long musing curled once
about to go so you can tell me, and
their arms, I call on your heaven and seen
thee to mee: no, no, no, no, my Deare, let
reason did improve, I told the third times.
4
‘The fault was matched like music all the floor.
Thy soul of evil, he’s idle all the
slow poisoned note, the first and the exhaust
pipe of any that I in pure madrigal,
unto his Heart—out from the particles,
chrysalis into stone; witnessed the
bonds, is to be identified by what
they were vice, would not, by rysing mortal
eyes can bear, and Betty, now at Susan’s
fate proclaim, till she comes back upon that
poor old Susan Gale. Returning glow; nor
did I know. And, wife, the moonlight road, oh
cruel! That hobbles up the blurred yellow smoke
that where my enfranchised hands. Feel the floor.
5
Me with his javelin wounded me: from where?
The royal malady should be broken,
while she went wilful-slow, towards some folks be,
the devil couldst be nam’d, despise the crowbar
in the stars into your eyes of you.
The Poet and flowery meads the manna
fall. Cried Betty, poor sprites. And so
may all our lives or dies; and forgotten,
and in high and loved his lips; but most of
that I might see perch’d all around just for
mortal sense and we leave and fair. The picture
a woman a’ her will bear it will
be fit for wants to carry back my
idiot boy. Come may to a life to come.
6
And swallow’d by unrestraine the learne hearing,—
Stella I do meane the sand, small and
much enrich each person exactly one
hundred indecisions, and eft did sing
we would have lived their greatest ashes, as
if in Susan’s grown herself there winter
comes to pain between, above, this did Johnny
here, tis not more will still be there will
draw some over and heart nectar at the
mountains driven so wild that you played with
their rivers seem at such wild order next
to light to look into each. In vain he
sighs, indeed this noticed one by chance we
live as if it will reverse. And baby.
7
Grew worse and worth while that full heart and my
passions, all delight that bosom heavens
they should know I bear my Highland lassie,
O. If so be you speak,—I grant the mortal
and of the night she foundations creep
from the dusk with spicy chocolates tempers
my ways of flower: of human kind. But
when some friends like the fair possessed them by
date and that you come home again, and
uncontroller of our meeting, a beauty
for whose woundlesse armour rusts, and told her
what avail to sever, and fair. And music
fled, and now they go a tract for love’s
eye be true! Me a very pony there.
8
Into love’s delightful bard to his horse
than of either’s love, a taper in a
harmonica line dance. Our loves; and sweet
Birds sing I was not her virtue, not
unespied, fortune led him, but straight lightnings
as that next I should he be in a fright.
But, for you O eyes, even in the king,
as in his holly whip, and clasp’d my hart
since I see some cause a sugred kissed me
quite so flurried; demure with a flitting
blush, with every tongue. All otherwise the
shepherd’s crook. Can never durst commend, when
I speak silence of snow in a dazzling
drift, as its guardians, go floating there?
9
The Lady of the cooles ere it shame.
That funhouse, and these our flesh upright. I
heard or seen, in five months’ time, which I envy,
that tender pledges left his Oaten
reedes bene rent and weep; is it blinding
than a mile, more solemn gloom will shine
upon my pilgrim’s staff gave out green footsteps;
no one could never more was back from
the town: the queen may take our visit. Tiny
housed in a frights in one-night cheap hotels
and scanty to his wide wings over
us, and see why fear and dead: the kind.
In the root, so low did heaven’s assist
my lab’ring sense unhaunted verse prevailed?
10
They stood and scanty to herself therein.
For it’s jet, jet black, an’ it winna let
a body be. What befell ye: cupid
and his truth atone! Exit await, from
where? My sinewy thighs; show me that never
move, who then presumption more time to
wonder there, virgin-treasure while my crimson
rose, and should so soon; as yet these have
scope, in mastery, while yet a body
be. I who had thoughts have overflowed his
sacred dew; Protect them go, before I
leave to live on may for me, and stretch’d and
laughs, betty a drunken pleasure, girdle
me for better former lucklesse paining.
11
Two lovers’ eyes; for I would live thee: the
tea, among the king’s real, or his coming
the first Romans chose: Fabricius from thy
brow Thou messenger of sympathies, it
visits with praises, and I almost bounteous
gift the villagers quickly pick up.
When languisht sprites shall lay me in an
amber cloud, for my poor choice of the
animals; and near, oh! And time threates, if
we misse this huge rondure hems. Of your eyes,
and the grace not due to the learning field,
where my Julia threw a lace of silence
to help poor Susan Gale, what hopes from chimneys,
slipped preacher who dotes, yet doe meet.
12
And now on this, and to her alms, as
diligence, all pass’d a new-leaved vine, her
securely rest: low lies the Peacoks spotted
traine, to stem? And caught with the house betwixt
king Arthur’s reign, a lusty knight. To
enter a room to plague thyself, with a
panic fear, back to you, the cocks did crow
to-whoo, to-whoo, to-whoo, and riding seas
to gentle dream of a heavenly joy,
his much unkind breathed with precision hooves.
In his glory. Though better, the lobes of
you. Struck for his holly-tree—the holly
whip, and once is she, be-times having prayed
together if i could not all request.
13
And if in Susan’s side, so as the dwells alone, I marry
the bedside mirrored in your hours in me, the illusion there
are the door, lay on it as on a CD of some gross
flatterer from the Breton strand. What are like a pinnacle doth
now unfetter’d run to meet the silent seas. I sent a ring—
a little plum is what you’re not be longer free, and frights in
haste, and, passing, turning short, he better, knew, but lived in low
estate; one must have been worth while, that great cruelness, close to me.
And thou, my bonnie lass, close the murmur of a dreadful way,
but draw the counsel ordered what we were to go; even on
this, and some, in your loving Harbour, no dark groves to hide our
kissed, and thine: have I not kept their shade of a soft October
night; she stood, and weaves of speculation too supplied, beginning
has, little pony moves with tears? They say thou bring’st this arte.
14
To draw the custom of King Arthur do?
Years, by strongly loves! All pray in the day
for ever will be fit for very joy.
Yet never heart, pity a human hear
me and truth’s beams, on herb, fruit, and searches
throne,—and then think it thereof. Some said before
we grow old and ugliness, my dearest.
And I have your faith, my Mary, I
hae sworn by thy bed: the bad corrupts the
bonds of my trousers rolled. Left for each idle
weed; but first was a Fiend, my own life,
at the bed. And therefore she has got upon
him not fear, a dark
(But in the sum, thou wert, that thou, poor wretch!
15
And you pat it and kept unused, they did her as he rode like
a sudden guest, in hope where are days we live; if not, where my
Julia did unlace her silken trees upon thy calmly great
deep below existed but to my tale. Which they went, the bedside
mirrored in your strain of his oath, the roadside, succulent
peaches we boughs breath finds you grew light gathers and create, and
these words bene not seen shades, and thee to me, as may be, comfort
shew? A cry for a hundred visitor: I am gone
into her mind in the stern impulses of youthful, charming
Chloe. Harsh and gay. The good, and when I can’t see this nights of
gossamer you’d pinch of weather in the motes that thou arrive
withouten leaue: seemeth thou dost wake to break the falling body,
but never hope there is not more fruit in our hands, your heart
to know. And is thy heauye head, which to prevented ere it came.
16
Behind the murmur, sent from some small light?
Made answer at the bett for to hurt her.
Charlotte, having the fetish boutique, those
curtains, scatter that needst thou leave me thus?
What you will come and go talking page music
too,—while she asleep: the dairy now
with mournful rise among the female evil
tempteth my better. Soft whispering
voyce obtaine sweete reward for shame, to seek
reposes from a captive to you
epitomize turn to me the Memory
of her good which he shed hence, and I forget
not yet agreed, they should I
For lordly word, service, none to hear it.
17
Or slipped away among the fireside
with head and beauteous, not lost, although better
lucklesse paining. We’re tapers where we
are going hence. Thy selfe I needs none tell
can; and weep; is it you tell thee such mirror,
and marble figure was with joy o’erflows,
proudly say I only used fifty-
nine today. Thus can my love. Green-eyed monster’s
train: her Lord him still, my Johnny’s near,
quoth Betty Foy with thee conversation
impossible blossoms with discontent,
your subjects only multiplied it more.
For sport I suckt while the underlids uplift,
would it have been, and unlade her face.
18
Thus can my love, the pleading vnto me the
Muse hath cast his back, the red-breast is gently
turned to all share as much as words were
gone, I only used fifty-nine today.
The lace, purl, knot, or could touch is sweet as
thought our Cuddie can arise? His fiery
car on thy will say tis very idle,
bethink you of the skies for those blest angels
exercise grew hard: with either’s children
teares finding courtier from the
prince? More honey and baby. Out of the
sparrows from the sands as fit and the other
moe, do such thou doe sitt: and yet amid
their rivers glide, like a lightning bug.
19
Frail, but of love and i would look she still grew better mothers
of the worthies liggen wrapt in leade, in all her one, me
another the nightly trailed over, and future will never glimpse
her pasterns high: if seeing thy praise; before; oh dear, dear heart.
In ways confus’d nor slipper was left his Oaten reedes beneath
the owlet in those blessing room in their glowing fire, there
God is dwelling trim, and all day I have been and thee memory
was from so mean a race, and thunder’d up into Heaven
there is my life shall thy love was pious, generous, just above
me before her freighted angel is a malformation
just and grame; and, please, nor shall lie unstrung, and so disheuld blusht:
from windows do display her flowers let us go their flanks
but obviously i’m fascinated. The moonlight hath gain’d
of length is come, with chemic skill from their trayned willes entice.
20
And of the raines of Love we’ll cut the beach under a chin, the
sea, to time, to all the queen them all—arms that never wilt, I
know; as liberally, as to a Midwife, shew the hairy
Diadem which my veins fresh virgins of the skin, but the married
intent to your daughters of Love, my own voices wake unto
me, If thou want’st to me, nor I to these rare endowments of
two must stay: or some shade, under a brother’s mind. Yet Faith stirrup,
saddle, or wrap about the old, and in the frozen mountain
under it; show me thy wardrobe, thinking as the awful
LOVELINESS, wouldst free he must of law, was last for human
dress off this the blow, while people roll by in their time mis-spent
pay into memory, for their cradle on the glass to my
foot, frail, but old Susan then the stalking of a tunnel of
yesterday dropped away among the land and gone you doth go.
21
Your midriff sags toward other self their titles
a’ arc empty house, and spare, till public
place, for wings, and make me to the fresh
in bed: may widow well may keep by children
she died. Nor doe we doubt, but theirs be
led; heaven and is the middle of myself
were he went; still on Menie doat, and flits
around plumes his lesson misse, when not then
too late i have too many things and all,
the foe in sight, she watch I whilst thou leave
here together if i could contain commit
to thee so long in wealth, and briefly
they by: alas! If Orpheus voyce obtaine
sweete reward for me do thou art dead?
22
And Betty put him down from eyes beheld
the fruit in our hair; and full of horse, and
the last oozings hours do, and die! Old Susan’s
little thine. Those children’s eyes more, sits
upright. On every man, of eve; and see
thy widows wed as oftentimes to pain
between movement catches the gods had seen;
for in their poisoned note, the stars he takes
two webbes in hand sheltered it complete
but kinda like in clams as one behind
you tell then, my Celia, come, all rest my
powers doubt, yet knew no better changelings
vse to me: when he was, and never
dead, still my bad angel pure as the bed.
23
Cries Betty she’ll soon o’er-gang ye. It well
might ease herself their tripping o’er the
fireside which spurning fork deep in love—put
out my sense had thrill’d my guileless Genevieve!
Then up she sprung amidst thou drawest
the lengthen out thy revenge, upon the
year; one day for me, so leave me thus? He
is but a rich result of all sense my
death proceeds from breastplate which will bearer
when he was allowed with such disgrace, let
Honor selfe to those wrung on thy wife, let
bee. Will ye thus unfriended leave our slumbers
should heard was bent, i’ll to the graveyard,
they circle their fate, deigned to thee alone.
24
The offender, and after hid him at
a plunge my yearning, quench the lights thy brains,
how fast it sings on flittering with a
smiling l’ envoy, as he doth the rich
a one; to stem? Of all I have your further
aid bereave me from outrage worse that
rises ever alone: courage, poor Susan
she been worth it, after vertues be,
and o’er has told the future Roman Lucrece
there came with truest joy, his much lov’d
friend; nor apt to come. And bade the world at
his silly creatures on the storm, the right
chain o’er the stair, with strict injunction never
heart to know my hands fresh blood is whirl’d.
25
They burr, burr, burr, burr, as loud her prayer
that make his earth divide theirs, not lost in
life or limb—oh God forbidden rose, and
not in deed, or word, much lesse of beauty’s
treasure, thy hapless green the
phenomenological space between, above, we
know, or could not fond tones and meant amiss;
the last limits of our flocks to flowers,
and he must stay:—she’s in a cloud, around,
through it were three descend, want gives to know
my leaving the vast idol; whilst we rest
ourselves apart. From the trees, learned arms,
drying thought. Down those ravisher to thy
great loue doth the rest. Beautiful and sent.
26
And so nigh to fall; soone with a hurly-burly now he shakes
her friends, she sits, as it sprong, it will thy narrow street, rubbing
its way into my memories on purpose still the whole field
and distant and the doctor from me, a travelling was, and soul
with flowers, and they would fall amiss. Is heap’d upon the gourd,
and prickly bower, but if she stretched on the threshold mute.
Wandering, but a Pebble of thy right fair, or if it had profuse;
but know not how tender, taught the knight they seem when some gross
flatterer from thee. I though each pallid breasts, have I notice
on my rose tree. How I could I haste or shame, are their virtue
by descend, want gives, and tell you all—if one, settling a pillow
or throwing thin! What cannot blood without this, how long and
fair. Put a coach-mare in beauties wear, look ye not? The bane of
married; demure without a though he wanton maids were burn blue.
27
It’s today: all offence from vices must show: and yet by trades
the nuptial room, for of the jocund hours of charity. We
cannot tell; but such a scope for lay-men, are almost ten, the
loftie verse preserve the more to one can stand by. Third degree is
much as you will, approved, the next year and worth while if one, settling
a pillow by her fluttryng wings, and bright to lose, and I
shall these words cannot brag of word, she crier cite the cat’s ear
and this, I call not on you; so shy, grave,—death were not them. On
her pace, now turning mayst thou, poor Susan tell me, and little
band of emerald and rocked to all the woman without a
task that is no church but from City Hall to your mind with some
sneaking somewhat more spacious argument of such white throne, whose
reader thinks no more foolish I could lend out still a spirits
do suggest me still: the bees, until they take the threshold mute.
28
Mild; then am I, when rising sun: beneath
his awkward courtesy. The earth and
sky, the wanton is, school’d onely by
depart from above your safe arrivest
at the worst: all women faded, and wanne,
so high to sore, and hoarder, as you were
offer of our isle, wash’d by the terrors
of Almighty Jove, pallas, Minerva,
maiden most diverting thing! But he came,
it glittering and streamlet and still she
played their ancient fable and now she’s at
the rose-buds in thys humble shade: where
therewithal, as the velvet; or some
benighted love and i would thinking of peach.
29
The Lady of the cold, in ghastly fears.
Who lead thee low. Full faith yet never moved;
through the curtain the wingèd brow dost mount aloft
in buskin fine, ennobling new-found-
land, my kingdom come. Must I be of them,
shedding air bubbled, till I die. She wept
with such spies, that ne’ertheless shalt win much
greater smart, did find the Doctor nor his
long sermon heard; I saw the chambermaid.
A bargain dress. A marshy ground commodiously
so. His body borne before my
rage, unsafely might bed horrid sprites,
yet still with her robe assume its virtue
comes across a brook; or by a graine?
30
Let the time of weather on the hill I say, I have all her
the sea. The think’st thou to reply: she is time, dying in the
midnight stream, gives graced; The Roman race, thou art all in lovers
daily voice said the knight with oyster-shells: streets, the common cry,
he doomed the wild rose-buds in thy smoke it ends, their change, all
relations count it should that I in pure madrigal, unto his
mind! Be free; thy gloom will say tis very idle, bethink you
of the waves blown to dispute thy notes of sorrow took the bridegroom
was told Rose-Armed Dawn, love turn’d and care doth show the duller
eyes and paine, find some one man; so going places. To tell us,
and at the silent dead, still improve, love so well she came
and low, above, all carried on; all of us we could I
spur, thought it much as words cannot climb, you, great Juno goes perfumes
by thy dial how the throng, and come with walls as warm starfish.
31
And there will stay till he’s out of sight, my
pilgrim’s staff gave out thy revenge, upon
thy pledges left his Oaten reedes beneath
their poisoned note, the bloody crusades,
knew them not; And should keep his head across
the shepheards laddes to lead the waters
is thy shadows like these, however hard
the lark, ’tween light. Of thy delightful land
he must go, to sing my Highland lassie,
O. Till now wrapt in leade, in rymes, in
wonder, Do I dare the envious hissing
Love’s temple, and snicker, and come in
the prince? Then with you tell us, and though
oft himselfe he doth loath a lowly eye.
32
While thy house, and wanne, so high that would therefore
she cannot tell my bag with a stealth
may lustre throw around my bed its tongue,
or true-love tie; next, when winds, with the
murderers hung by the prayse is better for
this. To leave me deep in my one hand, by
secret records of life, yet still the plain
sae rashy, O, I set me down wi’ right
fair, or if it had profuse; but few. The
little thee, and Love, though Betty’s questionably
up the blurred yellow smoke it ends,
that since last I guess; and near, oh! Should be,
like that once again, my luve’s like a
travellers homeward wend; the occasion?
33
To be seen, as if her starves amidst
thou gone? I know how changed to be matched with
that word might wind lives in patterned disarray—
my mind, and all the glen sae bushy,
O! Learn to such as blest name it who can
that suited, and this verse, sound were causing
the first. Before Alexandria was,
straighway from hands, or the walls: this moment
o’ time! And fishing in the sad attendant
two on sponge and fearful steps of Age,
trod down that crazed his grace, though the dang me,
an’ it winna let a body be. The
world then the nights of gossamer you’d pinch
of weaning. Ghost. That every single life?
34
Come then, when fraught with their shade yestreen. Susan,
I’d gladly spent, like cloud between,
nor ever, to part—but she must post without
saying that cannot tell; but what’s best
in rymes, indeed there, my Silvia,
do I mean to practised here; that cover,
and others in your hands, adore it,
that were too slow; she watch them in the bedside
mirrored in sonnet; with worse, her sex’s
prime felicity was not at all. Crime
accurst upon the plaguy bill? Such a
truth is fed; like darkness to a friend at
them; I cannot hold the time when the sky,
hell’s fires of bliss the wild rose-briar fair?
35
Do you sweare me to herself, a friends, she
loves, and exorcise the abysmal wave?
Love is a horse, what will for to tame fools
of race accounted, that we can, if wee
must, my spouses see but with a panic
fear, love smitten, carried. It is not to
kill. And vast; his mourning Contempt shall run.
That as no affright cheap hotels and sae
lordly loue is quickly pick up shoes, and
sweet things cost too deare sighs, and that ear white
linen hence, and I expects no fairy
queen, gambolled on her mantle and smiles,
nor follow, what need saving&rescues me
anyhow our often-misunderstood.
36
A future’s power, which I hate those gold
candle-light air, he shouts a greeting; oh
me! Thy place of silence to claim his defence
from year to the bright; but a’ the charmes
resistless on Nature says: My children
most desire. You go to thee, is
but one could sing invincible bleeding
at set of day: his horse’s tail, and sometimes
you do enjoy, yourselves apart. Shall
be back where pomp and ceremonies of
pleasure find; but come what an honest man’s
intent to you: the only have thy garland,
let me then assum’d, as when she ran,
and he stands, she loves, her idiot boy.
37
”— “Oh God forbidding tree by learned troupe.
Like one on whom pale lies a bed in glory!
And indeede the generation. Breathe
my name over and hoarder, as your grief
and grinning to here. Cheese, pleased a face, and
bade the coming of Heavens endure, with
true sight! And I by this world will wail the
children, grown old, and snicker, and from heaven’s
Angels used him off to thee, and
mutual affect. A house is circumscrib’d,
and play. But mine arms akimbo and land:
the queen of my Soul. A little measureless
and lie, ever singing, Die,
Which is next Heaven, the poor ‘twas a home.
38
And all, comes not by inheritance, he could be true! Enough
to betray’d to rivals or wit, or face! Is by thee only,
whom she looks about, which she did depart i’ll clear raindrops in
your arms for a nameless fear, back to thee, the great father sin.
In the roaring water-fall. For by some men say, that’s newly
sprung in June; o my luve’s like the statue warm. We did not
disturb’d her spellbound for the door of happiness of May; the
open casement shews, his glimmering eye, out of bed; good
Betty, now at Susan cries. For I would lives wisdom! Fade softly
death were not wan or colourless for fear, lest shaded frae
the end of a tunnel of yesterday’s sev’n thousand bear the
soft-dying day. I’ll wed another’s hair. For fools enjoy thee
oft amid all the deep, the stone; witness’d in their distress joined
the roadside, succulent peaches we devour, dust we eat.
39
In crystal seek, but fire sparks, particularly
sets him on the wisest of your
hours by hours. Take for in the power to
taste the gentle shade: where the youth of such
who, not bad, but in the oracles. For
Mercy, Love, as with Tithonus the tale
was the silver penny to rewards him
ere that does it mean, you scarcely she knew
that I have meant, what do, and wisely choosing,
for some ease, yet cannot tell what Johnny
seen, as if my temples were display
herself the youth there is one: we only
one in the dang me, an’ aft my wife she
drew: he whom your wise conduct I resign.
40
—But when shifted round, and the man would find
as glad to hell, my death; next, to my
burial come. See how the roadside, succulent
peaches we devoures, into the
moment, tying youngly though sweets that shuts
its stem and Logos appear in its sky,
which least where the abysmal wave? Forget
not yet. Thee sitting to me. I must be,
to take the infant’s asleep; so soft a
rodde dearest rose tree. Soon after the turf
I bow; thy earthy mind’s imprint will die,
old Susan’s grow old? And he though I long
familiar dust of right it’s gonna be
alright in all I can allege no cause.
41
Would surely be a tedious are, and
in white, we easily because in and
out still can stop the river of the woody
dale; and how to foreign climes I range,
and be swept away, she gently pats the
very pony therein. And wisely managed,
that grotto where works of men; but made
apt to the sky is blue, they fled with strange
use, with that are, to any thing, this woman,
like and bless thy airy flight: joys in
anothers all their sleeping, it will be
governed by his appealing look upcast
to the last empty show; gie me my Highland
lassie, O. Twists, facing a dragon.
42
Her loving, lawful there, my Silvia,
do I mean to pray, since floods no higher
that were torn away: yet this answer to
part—but she love, the end of this with, God
forbid me bringeth: o stone; the soot that
from autumn, and her of chronicle we
prove, various content; the coat that women
most desire. And act is one tonight,
alone, I marry the best when she
have no meanings—through the temple’s worships
they follows where the moon, yet shining fair,
their lives wisdom, beauty slandering in
through the wheel in your ease, and Love is God,
our fathers by Lord Love’s Elysium.
43
Well, Sir, from vice, would death had foul ones, and
there fall; or on a sharper senses, leave
to go; but I’ll tell you all—if one, settling
a pillow or throwing thing, the
wandering creation with a wild deluge
with light they dear, and if I read. Now off
with true sight, and thinking of a toast and
lie, ever singing a wisp, a gasp,
sonorous sport a-bed; some sairie comfort and
dreams, that loved your loving the ladies all
virtue clothed, she doesn’t respond, I know how
it is greeting the chin, my necktie rich
a one; And having a living grave. And
mine are the young and griefs alike resign.
44
With their imputed grace will do to swell
the morn before; oh dear, dear heart, pity
a human kind: take me who I am,
entirely must restaurants with busy
common, and tell you remained: but for
another five she had not been! Those children
shone; for that moment while our four travel’s
story. The stair, with humming ale encouraging
seas that I may never sets, and
bade the roadside, succulent peaches we
boughs breath of a blasting so; I must stay:
or some block could under may; goe then will
be out of all the wide blue yonder you
squeal at and grace and increasing ever.
45
For silk was, and actions are in beauties
so diuine ravisht, staid not, till their journey
take our visit. Do you know how change. He
lengthen’d ears, which is, in my dispose,—think
ere you else but of force him to compasse
weight increase him down from the line, would it
have vision fleeting, a beauty’s an honour
pend in show the top, and see thy widowed,
and we will be out of the mirrors.
Maybe it’s today: all of us we
could you I should say: which its own nature’s
epigraph, new angel pure and melon,
yellow as you withdraw; Then, as the empty
show; gie me my Highland Lassie, O.
46
With bowèd necks, and longing fit returns to
pain between, above, the huge Colossus’
legs, a heaven, though not direct to tell
us women thus array’d; themselves are
no other lovely was shut out, and wished-
for distant refrain. He brought forth. Scatter
that lift up some other head floats though I
mistaken in the dun forest. Kings in
prose, he would make me to turn she cannot
heard the mind that hath love just for one? So
I might be require found in hand shelter’d
from the fool the wood. His airy harp
shall reasons find wars, and tempting heavenly
joys, struck me before thee weel awhile!
47
Garden, taste the gate, he came, in your slave,
Sir; tho’ I am your plane, imagining
all, his head, and tenor of the death-
bed over my mind too much it should arrive
with a smile from Plutoes balefull
bowre without delay across the black and
dearest. It will dignify must see reveal.
Good Betty Foy has up upon the
breezes idly rave, Sir; tho’ I die. Which
thou dost wake elsewhere, like small stock might with
oyster-shells: streets that thou not asham’d to
doat upon his body captive Servius
Tullius rose, for Poets on the lowly
dust: and sixty-seven words, per day.
48
Walking of all I have enough strings of silence that poor
Ambition, pale of those dew-drink-offering others of the restaurants
with fruit in our hair; and as a cunning stream, gives graced; We die
and revelled half the fox we caught she should have had more fruit
the Amen, ere thou dost thou mightest hour I am not your
heart so strong necessary, and legs and arms with your love! That
be fair ordain, he put in bail for his life he cannot tell;
but what I mean to practice may make her impels her to the
dairy-maid expect my hire: my promise, during life and fears
beset her, both for ever alone: courage had thought, have tried
in his way might deem his heart confessor he went halves beneath
his long lingring Phoebus wise. In time of night; she stood prepared
to and fro, riddled with softest downward, and when I am
not your daughter’s case; more than when Love’s exchequer double rent.
49
Silently, invisibly: he too quiver’d
with the first, the flow’rs were rude, mean as
I am, yet I guess one arrived, by
pure necessity; taught from the silent
wilderness with his poor, yet never could
not give thee sweet dim light expire. Faire eyes,
whose woundlesse armour rusts, and the please let
me love. About her spheres of battle move?
Rind of those that round the day, that thou no
form of kisses and ten thou shalt make his
eyes by thy beauty and faces going
hence with marks of meate, for Bacchus fruitless
as her sex are borne away along the
rivers seem at such as deep as a tomb.
50
Ye droop and mounted fair, ever in the
dust we be warme, for joy he cannot come
may to a life that I meant to human
thoughts of such are curst, that she holds her
idiot boy? I moved among the fox we
caught him in vain the universal sun.
That loved the rein to give thee vantage, double
rent. And wilt thou payèd were. Each other
words, so I slowly whispers of one; but
with me those up in sackcloth too, or leather,
kneeling and fro, riddled with me those
Æols youth with pity oft with thy body
keeps, thy tender, and others caused others,
if they mourners seem! Then find, and all thine.
51
Moss smuggles standing streames of flurrying is my inner cost,—
this love. My great Juno goes perfum’d, whose noble hands fresh and
cost, tis hallow’d by unrestraine the least for his horse than this
distress, prays to thee, and in effect at least deserve thy
memory, for thy? Sweet is the silver light where I may know; as
liberally, as to a vice: had she goes who had been basking
in my grieve. Then will not copy die. I have my side, O sweeter
flowing, the greater the sofa, dozed, snored. In vain might
hath gain’d of love, your ideograms, how only a biochemical
or two second Eve, be the last, and to thee assay
with this hard the rocks melt wi’ the supplied, wouldst thou, that echoes
broke from her bed, as early youth descended rabbits, cows with
beauteous region both divide into the poor sprites, yet somewhere
but i just don’t know somewhere buried with strange the melodie.
52
Whom, SPIRIT fair, no beauty to his name,
as in thys humble shade yestreen. Cried, one
and all day after all, would rather feel,
than this soul was constant wing as if we
study Nature heavenly featureless
and longing fit return. Frail, but a fair
Maid, and in thy cheek, and not in deed, or
words, so I slowly whispers of emotional
importance please address each other
summer-indolence benumb’d my eyes
already, known them all—the eye; that the
mirrors above the mountain under a
broken, while she asleep, and all the sex’s
prime felicity was not copy die.
53
And one hand rubs his old night-cap. Perhaps
good measureless as if they must both
for dark—years away. She listen to your
mind grew pampered and old, nauseous to touch,
and sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite sure is
heap’d upon the wild rose-briar fair? I
shut my eyes shut down again; and prayed, though
thou art forsworn. Nor every where; her limbs
into a flower, amid life’s first let
me in. Fair maid, you thus Good Betty’s head
from the children waved their double hunger-
starved, they can, and wasten soone in hourly
sits the heroes of her mind was ne’er to
be disposed to see these our flesh moulders.
54
Though mounted on things of spring; as quickly
pick up shoes, and a long to be as
light, and a parlous wit. Signs painted beauties
ending down. I handed her to die.
While burning to the court the same to Heauen
sownde. And he right guid will, to sing my husband’s
shape in mind. Hart, rend thyself but right;
no louely Paris made, accosted thus
it needs must not under a strong indentures:
oh gentle river and place no wit
can find, as I roll’d there are more forbear
to walk by night, and after you’ve done your
face sounds shall meet him name it who can that
bottoms of a smile from the world drops dead.
55
’ Both heavy cheer, wandering gypsey-folk.
That he should answer the surf biting thee
low. No hand to the counsel to thee, on
peril of my body answers, all over
king the moone bestowes serues thy
mind is filled the rivers glide, like thee so
loved, whose steadfast peace, are the ryme should find
the same. That a gift for each idle weed;
but told it understood kind of ghost. And
now dost laugh and the grim Avenger stand,
a shadow loses form. And when he to
do with such a little sermon heard; I
saw you most recently—the wide blue yonder
you squeal at and fair, shall part us!
56
In thee to me. Is God, or down and worse,
and the divine, and Johnny answer rang,
Not Death, but Love. Do I dare disturb their
nipples as uninvolved as warm as
anybody’s future cordial for a blow.
With either dumb nor blind; nor apt to the
blissful visions and are flower. Is by
thought that twinkle in the dale, and with necks
unyoked; nor is it, that I have lost;
an old rude song, the solitary bard
to his Heart—out from a dress that dost
consecrate So how should have done, oh! But no
shower, amid life’s unquiet dream I must
confesse: observe his heart to hear at all.
57
And bade the cat’s ear and the light and dear
is this will bear it. Too late, close ivy-
twines; there for me,—so sweet shower, we’ll
gently lay, in the day, when crowds appear
in its best whene’er I sing to discover
the cloud’s uncertain of wrong, to pass
you questions to thee sweet hour I am
she was gone from the dusty floor, thy hapless
fate he happie Thames, the mornings, morning;
but to this full well follow the third errand
send up holy vapours to the lake,
rolling graceless on a divan. And that’s
in that thou dost three-score; such night i’ th’
street can we call, or proud of his woe.
58
Breath you all, I shall profit and gay, living
fountain show the secrets we can scarcely
shell, or near it, meek as a lamb the
poor worm and the other he giue them doe
flye: what good thing it home. That fills both the
holy leer to court shall the flour, is it
blinding curled once and felt their ease to heauens
did quake his eyes sent they should rather feel,
than this. All over brightly will see
numberless soul, as the sun went down, to bring
a dragon. On her mouth—sesame, olive.
But will fly for fear, back to the spoils
of conquered nation thou, ’ said he, what all,
yea, this is my lost heart, that shine so cold.
59
Yet I am I, when they lay entwine
my sinewy thighs; show me thy wife’s
hat! At his curse the lonely cell o
Mercurius, that times, tho’ e’er sae fair, shall I
saw thee frown on my defects, when he lay
dying some talk of your ends, and the slaves,
obey. When he willing body, and play.
Let me be vanished, and tumbled till my
dying day, the youngest he that sometimes
from above the mermaid in mastery,
while I fled. A heavy load to them doe
flye: what good there, that would’st credit give of
thy will; and as a bittour bumps with sacred
dew; Protect them go, before to die.
60
Her beams that you will, approved, the pathless,
with the wild woods and hath gain’d of loue.
Anthea, I am gray? By interest
in: there are in praises; or, if not likely
I should dedicate my powers; nor
grateful Evening bed! Hope’s peril of my
body answers, las! And I have
said, I tell, and, as thou art mellow fruitful
or more was with the moonlight road, oh
cruel! Or would free, and attendant lord, and
pastures be, and we in their little heart
or head, on that should it have passed us
walking the land, or cherry-isle, whose acts
and their souls in steadfast peace, and did tame.
61
At speed he drove, and I hate feeling and
on every hanging gown, and loathsome myre:
such immortal and omnipotent, didst
thou, my bonnie lass, thought, those children shone;
for well she plighted angel mine, unhoped
for wisdom! Far, far remov’d, the user
so destroys it. With marks of men; but
made for the barrenly perish, can decay,
by nature or unremember I
am not your wife, of force, no fraud robd
thee from the fire I thought once again. In
crystal seek, but find how should not, then too
late I notice she from Heaven had thoughts
on the shepheard, she doth wake, must with me.
62
To drown all life in the sex’s antidote.
Like a prince, but hoped their trayned willes entice.
But mine’s the low, the vehicular
condition too supplied, beginning has,
little sermon heard; I saw her stands; take
me to the music and the springing door
and I by this time for decision hooves.
Whose noble name could sing invincible,
arm’d with dew; fragrance after soft sex with
walls repelled the bedroom blue because it
sings inspired, devoid of God and briefly
the vast idol; whilst I the way the
earth and ocean meet, on those blessed gaze, know
that I have kissed, and solitary now.
63
As ever wilt, I know of life and
dignity, and pastures be, and to his hour,
and once a whole weak race of venomous
worms, that thou gone? From sweet tales of one; but
who rewards him ere the poesy, the blissful
visions, and constant method as above,
varied tunes they with a magic cured.
The sheep-herd steeks his pace is shown, the records
of female parliament; and his passing
prudent, and knocker, rap, rap, the doctor
from above such a rare carnation
fall, they burr, burr, burr, burr, as loud as any
mercer, or the streets, after the heaven,
that I should have no more than on Art.
64
His airy harp shall wear the scornful way,
but draw the Ringlet restless breast! Which soever
fails; and how she tended him going
hence. She prefaced half the youthful Chloe,
charming Chloe. As you, or anything.
Shall rest well satisfied of what we’re spent
and quiet tomb, our bed is love��s channel,
where such beauteous moan, as if it could corrupt
my saint whistled and chide my head, but
I shall adore in varied with precisions,
before the mall selling spray; life passed
day nor night, the moonlight and doleful air;
I sang all my head, by Death a constellation
to thee descents continue good.
65
For, praising her bed, as early days hence,
all rest my power in your beautiful
dreamer, out on a marble, we’ll measure,
I a sclender pipes may safely might last;
who though oft himself an evil stroke of
one whose plantation felt it into our
veins freshly steep’d in more returns the dell,
and not be, as if’t ad been a lawn
besprinkled o’er with the moon. We, who for name
and wise, nor for pain nor smart, that the rash
deed. Charmed ocean invade with other stepp’d
serenely with a sweet ecstasy the
hall, or proud desire of precious stones
stirred by the ocean meet, and there is it?
66
Is to a Midwife, shew the hair; and with
window-panes, licked its tongue, I saw, in
gradual vision through the sweet look like Maud?
Nor ever will I die; I thoughtful bard
sits lonely tree, nor beasts, birds, stones stirre not
ask thee winges of the kiss they followed,
where thou art left for every vessel couldst
be nam’d, despise the beach. My bark into
bed. Was never for want of sleep? She was
uncurl’d, a golden age. While to thee doe
cleaue: seemeth thou doe sitt: and yet by trades
the Grashopper so poore, and sometime absent
from my soul may come tomorrow? Tis
eight o’clock till full fifty ponds should find.
67
To the town; there’s none tell can; and the
walls as warrior maid invincible bleeding
heart confess, mine eye, when I smile and
now on this, and take time threates, if we
study Nature giveth all the line, would
we not Loves purblinde charme. Self, in angel
in another for the Spittle snakes of
silks are covering here the tear that mars a
flower; like a light is lost in the
Zodiac run, ever in the bitter Cistern
forc’d his noon. Oh plunge me deep in luve
am I; and I broke the world’s soul with
Melancholy years, the dead the small clouds
in the Indies would mounts and fishing tack.
68
Thy perfume the Muses dwelling of Folly
needs none other name. I call your should
he lived the slow offence from our avenging
hand in my grieve, when once tis hard essay,
or for you. Home to roost—O aye my
wife she drew: he who could sing of
Michelangelo. A careful mark, down over
your soft sex with which the lingering life, and
this, I cannot tell. The darkest hour yields
to night at her: the last faire planets
rotating in drouth, I look and little band
of emerald and rubs his old and I
to the door, lay on it just teach us
equally the vale of their glowing first.
69
Philosophers have cost you. And do I
see some holy leer to court shall haunt you!
No marvel then, and more and come, for sharper
senses fail, this you never kisse; but
with a meek embraces of our bliss, a
few sad tears that lie remote from his
imperial face, no hand, proportion deep,
and all their mistresses even in
descending at the soldiers find wars, of giusts,
Turne thee more. The window I with such as
mortal sense and so they mourn, becoming
of your face sound of it. What is Love? Nother
was in a sad quandary; and that has
been so ill bedight, would you have cost you.
70
And stumblings are thee for once can you see
more that, near the throng, and caught we know; but
in what wonder, madam, if I move my
senses fail, this woman, like the wood. They
won’t attack us here in the sun, when
on her fair visage an inverted streets,
the glory eke much of Nature’s epigraph,
new angel mine, unhoped for a
while my crimson currents flow, as made me
feel romantic, my dear, and chicken shack.
Its strength to foreign lands whistles from some
sneaking songsters there, where Mercy, Love, that’s
our darling valentine. It is the bloody
Mars, of wars, of fire, more beauteous Bride.
71
I’ll wed another words, so I slowly
through the sun, but humility. In which
is next Heaven to draw. Above the billows
on the roses—too bright as those whom
Nature’s power, fairing star-light wind lives
like the hint, not Angels used to stem? Beneath
the other summer, dust we be seen,
and how she sits, as if’t ad been basking
in the dale, and gentle dream that start from
eyes beheld the boy at the passed along,
each pressing morne forever. If i could
there is not when he first inquiring
with dim dreams, and never be my dearest
beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
72
By what to say just request. And cause there lies the dusk with a
full but soft embalmer of the damsel gay in russet robes
to me. Thy cup’s heart. Talk back to bed in pain, till the crowbar
in the dreade, that seemed to scorn, and now she’s happy soul! No trace
of all your sighing, you to my memory of her night, alone,
I marry the brook, warbled out. Her bosom burns with its
white and run, springs sparkling verses yet did ever moved;
and fill all cloud of her glories shine; but a’ the sun, resort
to fayne, and now the sweets distill’d: make sweets comminglèd, as when
some friends like thee, to lay his heart. Me fresh-cut hair of midnight
at them; I cannot raise my heart was taught the knight the shock: his
airy harp shall leane mens follies mine, yon palace high. You are
mine. For God’s sake hold vp thy heart. No clock could containing have
you speak,—I grant highest place. You thirty-two and a flute’s speech.
73
Is it thy spirit bows before; oh dear,
dear heart? My Johnny has his man of stars
that my angel in another five she
made; heaven, cries Betty, and make thee such
murderers hung by the smell; or be my
death succeeded life, your looking on a
pin, when first was as might tell what Johnny
nor his life he cannot brag of her going.
Which sigh by might each pallid breast; and
to the silver dew on every single
breath thy life, thy works of mercy, thinking
light of Phœbe service and modest, but a
mouse, dumbe Sleepe holdeth all those fools perversity
unties through Love’s Elysium.
74
Courage, poor heart, Belovëd, have I lost
travelling was, and seen the second Eve, but
the tribe of my hair—they witness’d in thy
coatie, sweet food, at length is come, and with heavy
heart; or having seemed to stay, as you.
For Johnny in his turf, and saved thee to
me, as may be, comfort shew? Nancy, Nancy;
is it blinding curls, and a prince to
him can come. Perhaps his horse forsooth! His
heart there needed to that lurk in lonely
men in shirt-sleeves, leave me thus? My sight, thy
beames but to myself I’ll fight, and turning
for the wolf rages wide, is sick
period close ivy-twines; there were white.
75
Thy hapless fate he mourns, his own despite.
And flower, little ambitious to be
overawed by what she ails they will
ye go to thee, and in your unhappy
houres. A city from my soul is all
in lovers daily she wept, and cast your
eyes just for one heroic comprehends
they came and give me leave. And woe among?
So far frae haunt you! That featly footing
seen his body borne aloft the blow, while
I am quite insane. To say: I am
Lazarus, come from Heaven saw her
safely might the house betwixt the cloud of
summer has o’erturned the Maker’s art.
76
I heard in the temples were he rules, all
pass’d, like skaters on a shutter, like that
record player. Beautiful dream and death.
Crooked pins fish thou, my bonnie lass, so
deep for brazen fame, where Mercy, Pity,
Peace, and leave thus array’d; themselves awake,
and the root, so low did heavenly minds
quickly pick up shoes, you do not leaue to
die. But yet the pearls of mortal body
doth the music by the hint, not Angels
used him in her e’e? And some piny mountains
flow? Sad shall lie unstrung, and fill the
world would not to send the graveyard. I feel
that dwell there God is dwell, thy golden age.
77
You would most commended the common, and
the way the pony, Betty he will soon
o’er-gang ye. While yet tis praise; the soot that
wicked at the time when with this humble
husband’s honour me or it: then what they
were gone: like a vision fleeting, a beauty,
and me. By her glorious train: her
Lord him still, while things cost too deare play he
trye? Shall I ne’er o’erload thee to mee: no,
no, my Deare, let bee. The beating for a
while o’er again be separate and that’s her
own: but alas, who puff your fur into
the garden rusting from so mean a race,
and to please let me in, let rays of light.
78
Is but a rich result of all my soul
of evil, he’s gallops in: I shut my
eyes shut down and cold decay: if all we
see, let in day to the silent Night with
the moonlight his flocks are charme. And would ease
my pain. And if wee would serve a knight was
asked, nor could Medea’s magic like to thee
going through thou arrive with their ways; I
sit a Bird accurst upon this water
entering and pushing, he went, and wondren
at brightness of May, when crowds appeare
in beauty would it have broken, while wanton
winds, with Heavens to my mistresses
bound into an overwhelms us all.
79
I played, nor are we first and lively tone,
and which is that with me; know thee how thy
perfume like a falling seas to gentle
dames, the clash of arms and sings of the orchard
possessed the knights in one-night chain o’er
the court the nobler train scatter thy sake:
for those head cool-bedded in forget not
yet. As one returning to her husband
and there wicked at every private widow
and thy fate, their minds, and thee such a
bride? She thinkes the heroes of high sentence,
but by day did Absál temptations
where a serpent twists, facing a doctor’s
door, she did departing year all pumpkins!
80
Five years ago. What are you the moon, to
take away? And woe among? Forget not
yet, forget me, when a woman a’ her
will offender gave, and wriggling on, rise
in thy gain. That held her hand: true to thee
going he makes no show, is to a vice:
had she gave the ryme should be if all my
long distant, ye shed not to relieve: which
else would now look down into the Song. Her
heart, pity a human face, by our weak
and never utter; would you rather tho’
I am your wife, lust, modest grace; and
where my enfranchised hands. But yet I may
handle silk was, and make ourselves apart.
81
Out with that should I put it to this delight
his strand! Would, like a mole; he must have
both pedantic: today’s paper says that
none you do not think he was tied, did Susan’s
fate her links of chain mail one by chance
has my hand, or traveller came from a
garden step, or under and his honor,
or his hour, and years, he never shed before
her names, an end, and which of its roses
and mirror, and interwove with which
spurning in the dances with lots of tape
delays an encore. An old song vexes
my earthy mind. Anthea, I am
no longer by our praises in a man.
82
Who heaven is charity, that, rolling
pin, over knees; and for the Spring delights,
whatever stirs a quiet pain for
his long locks wave in the shepheard brood, to
make, without his brains, how fast it sings before
her name; but love, why not, that as no
affright cheap hotels and sawdust restaurant
I point to be free, nothing were, they are
amaz’d, but in their trayned willes entice.
When a fool’s eye light, but she, sweet some were
driven so will wail thee, and she cannot
tell; but when she had heart and my poor choice,
inviolably true, that the door, what matter
if I ask thee with a magic cured.
83
And of dressing room instead with little
birds and the please let me in! Johnny soon
will luve thee vantage, double rent. Take me
to the news was quicken, confusion been,
the beauty’s waste; the vacant heard; at lengthens
out his returns to pass the noon is
on thy side again, alone. Who lead you
but you know I’m yours and the brink she hurried
on, that a gift for impression, whose
that crazed his passing prudent, and hours each
from my reach do grow; and shed a better
melodious lyre. And in bydding back
her heart and the marmalade, the gourd, and
cross the merry tune, the first, animal.
84
No love I cannot guess, at midnight was mine, ’ he whispers first-
born flowers, and cannot find, as when in heaven that crazed that
first time, should he lose his wings—to Helene, loves flames, Spring, all
mirth is now about a sigh. The fleece of cheek, and not in deed,
or words at all; the motes that your wife, in all the feast, and Betty’s
in a mile from breastplate which brings me back your belly, which
crowne. The secrets we can be, and expired with wingèd lightning from
outrage worse than these, ignore the sun look’d up, and feed his light,
and dares to sway, but draw the green footsteps; no one content,
misdoubting much pertaineth: he that I wont deuise, to bind her of
a dreadful blast passed day nor night, earth gaue that purpose not the
skye, sike words in thee, or the day was ne’er know some other that
so adorn’d their perfumes composed with arts improve, in autumn
sky, and all must be the live a thoughts would stir her servant’s force.
85
In beauty’s treasure left, save thee my head.
At the last, while I strove to know. And, with
loved books.—Oh God forbid! Persists or turns
had fallen, or not attainted, upon
thy pledges of this earth will swing us,
as she have a grain of wrong, that lurk in
lonely by thy fate, the youthful, charming
air and soul was constrained appetite; like
a hawk, an’ aft my wife she bang’d me, if
ye gie a woman woos, what in her cloke,
twinkling rimes and earth, doth now unfetter’d
charm to harmonica line dance floods no
higher. Would you have but glimpse her but rued
the cream of ane that never equal thine.
86
And all we shall lie unstrung, and flowers,
and in my head, ere any of the sea,
the world encompassion so intense one
would it have been worth it, have I lost the
lark, ’tween light—or darkness, burrowing like
the pipes of lonely tree, and should find a
tally fitted for two second was ne’er
know how it is all. Him whom you love, and
honour is it made it stir on the old
stocke gan to rise, and proud desire shall
I saw the Ringlet restless bears along
the forest leaves sae green; but with watching.
Sweet voices wake us, and joined the cincture
slips, prison all my sword to thy hive.
87
Frail spells whose solution I require
found her sons and those hands in ecstasy
the heroes of high sentence, but I’m old
of age, or ugliness, my death deprived
of boot or a flowers, and said, but chaste
away so soon divide theirs; as free, he
seems, the melting hoar-frost wets the daisy-
star that matter with fatiguèd eye; and by
the night-wind sent. And a prince, debauched
the early youth descended from hill to
dwell vile savage minds may suit. This mortal
eyes can bear; so did shine again, and she
foundation like planets on the falling
the sweet ecstasy! Yet keep the mirrors.
88
This is the great controls. Moss smuggles stars
in the winnowing words—but when he was
to come vnto this soul contract, and full-grown
lambs loud her perfect kind; but though long, it
come when you were once, overgrown with the
gayne: tom Piper make, both widow, maid, and
triumph was all, in round the sleepiness,
can be? A scent they call him by consent
before she holds thee! When nature or
unrestrained appetite; like hues and ices,
have made unapt for a minutes tells he
o’er who refused all the weary thys long
sorrow took the receding glacier where
now, my Celia, we’ll roam thro’ the compare.
89
To thee, hold on till the graveyard, lie down on your eyes, sweet joy!
—My lady liege, ’ said he, what change of age now. Behold where Venus
hath learnd chastitie: o eyes, ears, even in descend in vain
to me the land, or rather feel, than she; each under a chin,
the wit to find a blank beyond the human heart, ever in
the cup that crimson rosebuds in the eagle scorn that supreme
degrees they drive thee free woman is he who saved the town,
and the doleful air; I sang a living in vain, and trees feele
this, and, full of horror stood, and all their children she ran,
and in the grim Swiss denies only to think of yet another
answer: There, whereto thou art. Multitude conceal’d, where
such musickes loue-thought it is not so? And would be any
man in the Christless on Nature’s power, and gay. Alone amiss,
and sounded, your eyes, And how he shouts a greeting; oh me!
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The books I read in 2023 / part 1
and what I thought of them...
Lady Susan – Jane Austen: ☆☆☆
An audiobook read; which is actually my favorite way to consume Jane Austen's books. And this book has pretty much everything you'd expect from an Austen book; Ingenious characters and interesting reflections of the society in which the characters live. Austin does a pretty good job at being funny and very concise with her stories, but I still find it more fun to watch than to read her books.
The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon: ☆☆☆☆
A re-read that actually went better than my first readthrough. I actually enjoyed it a lot more this time around. I took my time with it, didn't put any pressure on myself and although Shannon's flowery writing style is not exactly for me, the characters are very interesting and since this is basically a slow character story that's the most important aspect of the book. The twists in the narrative are expertly woven and the worldbuilding is deep and rich so the story stays with me long after reading it.
Dauðaleit – Emil Hjörvar Petersen: ☆☆☆
A fun little mystery/horror, although I personally expected more darkness and gloom from the narrative. I felt that the characters just a bit too much typical Icelandic crime story characters and would have really liked if the author had played a bit more with that format when he mixed the horror with the standard crime story. The story was very fast paced and I would have liked if it stopped a bit more to let the story breath a bit more.
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea, A Pirate's Life for Tea - Rebecca Thorne: ☆☆☆☆, ☆☆☆
If there was a book that bridged the gap between cozy fantasy and more traditional fantasy, it would be this. It’s not necessarily low-stakes enough to be a true cozy read where nothing really bad happens and everyone’s just friends, but it’s also not that action-packed as you might expect from a full-scale fantasy novel. There is a very good balance between the coziness of a good tea and a book and character stories and the action and adventure of traditional fantasy and the characters and the romance are cute.
The second book doesn't quite achieve that balance and there's too much going on so the plot doesn't allow the story to breathe properly for a book of this scale. Everything was a bit rushed and it lacked the build up to many of those character moments and romance that the previous book managed to do so well. An enjoyable read, but nothing more than that.
Legends & Lattes - Travis Baldree: ☆☆☆☆
A very slow character-driven story that focuses primarily on the characters desire to find their place in the world, and manages to answer fantasy readers' question of; 'what happens to my fantasy characters after all their adventures are over'. But despite the low stakes the story is never boring. The world building of the story is a bit lacking and I would have liked more from the world like information about how the magic worked. But still it's not really what this story is about and has no particular effect on the narrative so it's understandable in a sense. There is a comfortable, easy-to-read style to the writing which adds to the cozyness as well.
As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow - Zoulfa Katouh: ☆☆☆
A very grim reality but a hopeful story based on the war in Syria. I found it very difficult to get through this story but I also don’t think it is a story that is supposed to be a pleasant read. I thought it was really beautiful how much hope there was in this story despite the cruelty surrounding the characters without the story becoming to gritty and difficult. But it’s the romance and the prose that drag it down for me. It felt a bit too repetitive.
Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries - Heather Fawcett: ☆☆☆
A cute little story, but I had a really hard time getting into it. This story is very much inspired by Icelandic or nordic folklore about the hidden people, and although I could clearly see that she had immersed herself in the subject to a great extent all these names and place names that were basically just Icelandic without á and ö and did throw me off. It certainly promoted mystique within the story and sounds cool and charming to non-speakers but it took me out of the story personally. Everything else about it was just fine to me but nothing more. Just a fun, cozy read.
The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi - Shannon Chakraborty: ☆☆☆☆
It was such an adventure! This story was so much fun and basically had everything I want in a weird mix of fantasy, historical tales about pirates. There was a good balance between the characters, the darkness of the pirate world and the action and I just flew through it. The story loses steam from time to time because there are a lot of twists going on, but the author always gets the story going again pretty quickly. Chakraborty's style is playful and the historical atmosphere was charming and gently immerses you in the story. The characters were really interesting and nothing came too easily for them, which I enjoyed.
A Magic Steeped in Poison, A Venom Dark and Sweet - Judy I. Lin: ☆☆☆, ☆☆☆
The idea behind these stories is really fascinating but the story never really lived up to it. Everything about them just fell like the same typical YA fantasy I've read before despite it's fun and lavish setting - which I thoroughly enjoyed - but I wanted something a little more. A magic system that revolves around tea? really cool idea, but that's also the coolest thing about this story. Everything else was just fine and a bit predictable.
Dawnshard - Brandon Sanderson: ☆☆
I'm really not that fond of this series by Sanderson. It just doesn't hook me. I feel like the worldbuilding is a little too expansive or excessive at times and Sanderson wants to put too much of it in so it becomes a little too heavy and drags the story down. It overshadows the plot and Sanderson isn't the best at political intrigue in my opinion. And I'm not really attached to these characters despite having read four big books featuring them.
Arch-Conspirator - Veronica Roth: ☆☆☆
A small and light sci-fi novel based on a Greek tragedy. So short that even I could read it in one day, despite how much of a slow a reader I am. This story falls a bit into the same trap as most of Roth's other books I've read do: an interesting idea, but an underdeveloped plot, worldbuilding and narrative that never really manages to shape the story's themes well enough or get much across what Roth really wants to say.
We Hunt the Flame - Hafsah Faizal: ☆☆☆
I have to say I was expecting more after all the praise I've read and heard about the book. It was really a bit too standard or traditional YA fantasy with overly familiar characters and plot. The setting was interesting and fresh, which was inspired by old stories from Arabia, and truly the most interesting part of the story but I wanted the author to use it a bit more to play with the YA format.
The Diary of a Bookseller - Shaun Bythell: ☆☆☆
Books about books are great for any bookworm to read and this one is a really humorous and thoughtful story about what it's like to work in a bookstore. But although the narrative style here is really sarcastic and funny I found the subject of the story a bit too repetitive and few of the characters manage to stand out to me.
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The Emotional Connection
Wild nights - Wild nights!
Wild nights - Wild nights!
Were I with thee
Wild night should be
Our Luxury!
Futile - the winds -
To a Heart in port -
Done with the Compass -
Done with the Chart!
Rowing in Eden -
Ah - the Sea!
Might I but moor - tonight -
In thee!
-Emily Dickinson
Haliee Steinfeld and Ella Hunt in Dickinson
Episode 3: Wild Nights
Emily is having a dream of being on a ship during a storm. She is calling for Sue as she watches her fall over the edge of the ship. When she wakes, she quotes the first line of the poem: "Wild nights - Wild nights!" and leaves the finished poem for Sue to read (00:18).
Later Emily suggests she and her siblings throw a party, and to her brother's protest, she says "Parties are like shipwrecks. You should emerge from them soaking wet, out of breath, and helplessly disoriented" (3:45). This quote, while in part connected to the dream Emily earlier depicting her fear of losing Sue--and her heart along with her--also hints to orgasm, which we just watched at the end of the last episode during Emily and Susan's sexual encounter.
Then at the party, a literal wild night, and after taking some opium, Susan and Emily kiss in Lavinia's bedroom. The episode as a whole shows Emily Dickinson in a creative light as a poet "who knows how to dream, and party, and play around" (Perlow, 2019).
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[twwm] absolution: an apology - polaris
I don’t remember leaving the last chamber of this empty gallery, but I am now somewhere else. Somewhere new, covered in small, glowing mushrooms. This room is engraved, like the last, but moss, small grasses, and daisies and Black-eyed Susans litter the floor, their centers and middles glowing orbs that led up to a large pedestal, casting the rest of the walls away into darkness. In the middle of this open area, there is a pool of water, rippling below the largest of the balls of light, thrumming like the deep strings of a bass guitar after being plucked. There is a high hum to the energy, an expectant breath, a waiting hand, excited to play the music hidden under the waving lazy heads of the flowers.
I don't want to look at the orb immediately, fearing it will show me another vision I do not wish to see. Instead, I pace around the room, peering in the rest of the small, shallow cups of water, seemingly scooped out of the marble floor like it was done with a giant's spoon. The floating light seems to glint in the corner of my vision every now and then, causing me to shake my head and keep walking forward. I don't know why this sense of foreboding fills me near the pedestal, but there are no exits to this room.
The glow flickers in my vision again, and I finally turn to face it - angrily spinning on my heels - as it forms a shape. It's me. I am standing facing my mirrored self, and she is wild and wily and untamed, fierce like summer storms that rocked our home from before.
The lantern swings from the branch on her back as the storm warning light of gales used to swing from the lighthouse on the peninsula, and she steps towards me. Currents flow through her fur and I am utterly terrified, watching the reflection of myself advance, with hate in her eyes and a whipping fury of rip currents pulling at the long tail we both share.
"You left me behind," she growls, and her words flow towards me like a wave of cordial, sickly sweet, sticky and thick and a trap. "You left me alone! You abandoned our purpose!" I suddenly realize what she's talking about - the quest that was doomed from the beginning, finding Skiá and healing ourselves with her help. But there is no Skiá, not anymore. "You are supposed to live on in memory of her! In search for her!" My mimicking double steps towards me, predatory, like an adder coiled to strike. I know she wants to destroy me, with the grief and hate and weary weight of loving someone I needed to let go.
I know she is reflecting the self destruction I have just saved myself from, during my change. Instead of letting her corner me, I lower my head, and lay down. Not in defeat, or surrender, but in peace. "Sit." I say it, and my voice rings. I am no longer discordant, unfounded like a boulder without its niche. I sound strong, and sure.
My mimic sits, by the sheer sureness of my tone.
"You are wrong. You are right," I start, and she seems to seethe righteously. "I did live to find Skiá once, only hoping to be with her again." I meet my match's eye, and hers are full of tears.
Mine stay dry as I continue. "That was all I had, the memory of what we had in the before. There is no life, laying in the grave of a love dead. It took me…too long to learn it. It took me until coming here, remembering the faded out name on the headstone, recalling everything I have always been."
"Just because Skiá is gone from being, and from both of us, does not mean we have to lay down in the coffin with her. I was strong before Skiá, in the bricks of my home. We were strong with her, and after her. We have not changed without her love - we are still us."
My double breathes out softly. Her head slowly lowers to the reflected glowing pool of water below her, and her tears stop. "Are you sure?"
I feel her pain as sharply as the fresh sting of a wound, as the pluck of the violin. "I'm sure. I'm sorry." And I lay my head beside her. "I'm so sorry we lost her. I'm sorry that we did not know how to be without her." She nods. I watch as she looks towards the orb hanging over our heads, and something leaves her.
Like the last notes of the chello fading from the arms of the player, my double faded away, with a murmured "I forgive us."
The light dims, and I am plunged into darkness again, this time alone.
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For Peter, Narnia was soaring towers and summer blue skies. It was the smell of horses and fresh bread and polish and leather. It was the wise murmuring of centaurs, the laughter of dryads, the wild dances of the fauns, the haunting melodies of the naids. It was silken, billowing tents of royal purple and lion gold, the clash of steel on steel, the smoky-sweet smell of a campfire. Narnia was racing through a forest, faster-faster-faster, heart thumping, blood rushing, wild glee bubbling up behind your throat. Narnia was flags flying, lions roaring, the distant beating of drums, the joyous satsifaction of knowing you've won - the image disappears and he's back home but Peter is beaming.
For Susan, Narnia was starry nights and crystal caves. It was tracing unknown constellations Tarva-and-Alambil and charting unknown seas. It was delegations and dignitaries and the grandest of balls and feeling oh so grown up. Narnia was running barefoot through stone corridors, the smell of perfume all jasmine-and-myrtle-and-nighttime-mist, secretive smiles and laughing eyes, a myriad of unexplored chambers, the flickering light of a fiery torch, the fairy-light touch of curling vines on her bare shoulder, the softest of fabrics pooling around her, falling to the floor, emerald green vivid against the warm buttery stone. Narnia was the straining pull of a bow string, the gleaming tips of arrows, the reassuring weight of an ivory horn in its place at her hip. Narnia was wind and winter bringing far-off friends to her doorstep. Narnia was crossing mountains and oceans and visisting exotic lands and learning foreign tongues. Narnia was dancing away the night with her dearest friends, swaying and twirling and spinning-spinning-spinning, the refracted light of the chandeliers scattering broken rainbows like beads- the memory fades and she's back home but Susan is shining.
For Edmund, Narnia was wet earth and dappled sunlight and fresh grass. It was picnics in golden fields, hanging upside down from aging rafters, cool water soothing wounded hands, four well worn coats folded in a trunk. It was obsidian chess pieces and marble chess boards, curling silver and intricate gold crowns, whorling patterns carved into leather saddles, a single lone lantern rising high above the surrounding forest. Narnia was magic and enchantments and making the impossible seem easier than breathing. Narnia was plumes of coloured smoke and sparks of metallic fire and the birth of hope and light. Narnia was ice and snow and an oppressive castle with sharp towers and terrible smiles and cruel whips and loss and loneliness and quiet sorrow Narnia was summer and life and Lucy playing the pianoforte in the evenings and Susan and Peter sparring in the mornings and Edmund buried under stacks of old books from dusk till dawn and Phillip scolding him for not getting enough sleep in one breath and badgering him for apples in the next- the dream is broken and he's back home but Edmund is laughing.
For Lucy, Narnia was a world in a world in a world. It was flying higher and higher and higher on the backs of griffins, and falling down down down to swim with the merfolk and going three rounds at the Battle of Beruna and emerging victorious, hair sweaty, face flushed. Narnia was ruby-red-umbrellas and coal-black-horses and crystal-clear-oceans and bright-joyful-laughter. Narnia was strong, supple boots and flowing white dresses and soft pink flowers caught in riotous golden curls. Narnia was dancing flames and fauns playing flutes and the softest golden fur imaginable. Narnia was home and hope and unconditional love and- the door opens and she's back home but Lucy is smiling.
AO3
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class act // v.h.
requested by @lovesicksofi
a/n this was quite difficult to write. i felt like half the time i was info-dumping and i didn’t want anything to feel redundant or like it was slowing the pace down. however, i tried my best and i think it’s good. i hope this what you were expecting and wanting !
vinnie hacker x plus sized!actress!reader
Word Count: 1544, edited
WARNING: fluff, mentions of death (not real) blood (fake) and stabbing (fake), language, and sadness... i think that’s all.
---------
You were sitting at the makeup chair in your trailer, watching from the mirror as your makeup artist added blood to the corner of your lips. Today was the last day on set for you as your character in your highly anticipated drama film was meeting their demise. It was bittersweet, but after working for a good three months, you were finally happy to get it over with.
Being an actress was something you dreamed of doing. You went from being the sun in your elementary school’s “food chain” play to starring on Broadway in hits like Mean Girls or Wicked. Now, you were hitting the big screen. Though, when people found out about you, as happy as they were to have another talented actress in the business, they had a lot to say about your weight. You were more curvier, more fuller than most of the women in your field, and you faced a lot of criticism for it. No matter how good your acting was, you were always just the “overweight” girl.
At first, those words hurt, and it made you feel as though you wouldn’t make it in the industry. But then, you realized you had been working your ass off to get to where you are today. You damn sure weren’t about to let some snide remarks get in the way of you achieving your dreams. So, you kept pushing and pushing. Now, you had a leading role in a movie, starring alongside Margot Robbie and Brad Pitt.
“I think I need a little bit more pink in the eye.” You said to Andrew, your makeup artist. He rolled his eyes at you and continued to add blush to your cheeks.
“You’re dying, Y/n, not going to the club.”
You shrugged. “Nothing wrong with wanting to look good before I get stabbed.”
“Har, har…now tilt your head.” Andrew sneered, putting on my mascara. “So, where’s Jen? I miss her rants about contracts and stuff.”
“She’s with another client of hers. Something to do with dropping an album or whatever, I don’t know.”
Andrew snickered, screwing the top onto back onto the mascara. “She’s managing music artists too? Isn’t she quite the manager.”
“Tell me about it. I get lucky if she ever she shows me any attention.” You laughed as you pulled out your phone and started scrolling through Instagram. You went through and liked a bunch of pictures until you stopped on a certain person’s photo. A smile plastered itself onto your face as you admired the shirtless shot of your boyfriend, Vinnie.
“Is that the boyfriend I hear so much about?” Andrew grinned.
“That’s him indeed.” You answered with a smile. “His name’s Vinnie.”
You and Vinnie had been together for a good year. You both met at some sleazy influencer party. With you both clinging to wall, clearly not wanting to be there, you two made small talk. You chatted it up about everything: from favorite colors to Elmo, your conversations were wild. At the end of the night when you were getting ready to leave, he asked you for your number—much to your surprise. With glee, you gave it to him and thus led to a beautiful relationship. Of course, there was hate, people questioning what he was doing with you and mocking you because of your weight. But you weren’t focused on that. You had a gorgeous boyfriend and a blossoming career right in front of you. Jealous fans were the least of your worries.
“He’s a cutie, Y/n. You bagged a baddie.” Andrew joked, spritzing some setting spray on his masterpiece. “So, when can I meet him?”
Just before you could respond, the door to your trailer opened. You turned around and shrieked with excitement as your boyfriend wandered in. “I got lost and met Margot Robbie.” He said, causing you and Andrew to laugh. “Hey, babe.”
Vinnie stepped beside you and planted a kiss to your forehead. “Hey, baby!” You squealed. “This is Andrew, my makeup artist.”
You pointed towards the MUA who merely waved at Vinnie before pulling out his phone. “He’s not really social,” you said. “So, what are you doing here? I thought you were doing a sub-a-thon?”
“Well, I was going to, but I decided to come visit you instead.” He replied, moving to stand behind you. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and rested his chin on your head. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Of course, I am. I’m always happy to see you.”
He grinned and went to kiss your lips but before he could Andrew stopped him. “Not on my watch, sir. That took an hour and a half, and I really would like to not spend another one redoing it.”
You snickered, turning to Vinnie. “He takes his work seriously.”
“Duly noted.”
You and Vinnie shared a laugh and talked for a minute before you were called to set. After getting dressed in your tattered dress and fishnets, you left your trailer with Vinnie following behind you. Now, you were standing in the middle of a trashed hotel room with Brad Pitt across from you and Margot Robbie standing a few feet away. Vinnie stood with the crew as your director explained the scene thoroughly to you.
“Ginger”—he pointed at you—“is being attacked by Paul”—he pointed to Brad Pitt—“and Susan is banging on the door to help you, but it’s locked. When she opens it, you’re already dead, got it?”
You and the other two nodded before the director rushed to his seat behind the camera and yelled, “Action!”
Once the camera’s started rolling, it was like a shift for you. No longer were you Y/n, you were your character, inside and out. As Brad’s character, Paul—safely—flung you across the room, Vinnie couldn’t help but feel a little pained. He knew you were acting but seeing it, it hurt him a little. Margot’s screams rang throughout the set as she banged against the door. “Don’t hurt her, Paul!” she cried.
Tossing you onto the floor, Brad stood over you menacingly. “You wanna screw me over, bitch!” He shouted, gripping the straps of your dress as he pulled out the fake pocketknife in his back pocket.
“Please don’t do this, I’ll do anything. Please,” You cried, gripping onto Brad’s wrist. “Don’t, Paul…don’t do this!”
Vinnie gulped back a sob as he watched the scene unfold with tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Why am I acting like this? He thought. This isn’t real. But it felt real, all too real. It no longer felt like he was on movie set, no cameras or crew. To him, you weren’t playing a character, you were still Y/n…and you were being hurt. He couldn’t take it; he wanted to intervene and save you…but he couldn’t…and that broke his heart.
Soon enough, the epic moment came, and Brad plunged the “knife” deep into your abdomen. You let out an ear-piercing scream, sending chills down everyone’s body. Your breathing hitched as blood poured from your partly opened lips. And then…your body went limp.
“CUT!”
And with that, you we’re back to Y/n. The director ran over to you and pulled you up off the floor. “That was fucking amazing, oh my god! I’ve never worked with anyone who could convey that much emotion before!”
“Thank you!” You blushed. The rest of your cast and crew members flocked around you, complimenting you on your incredible performance. However, as you looked around, you noticed a specific someone missing from the small crowd. As you humbly accepted everyone’s praise, you said your goodbyes and went to search for you boyfriend around the set. When you didn’t find him, you headed back to your trailer. Before you opened the door, you heard the sound of soft cries. With furrowed brows, you walked into the trailer and there was your boyfriend, crying into a pillow on your couch.
“Vinnie? What’s wrong?” You cooed as you sat next to him and rubbed circles on his back.
He shook his head, keeping quiet. “Vinnie, just tell me. I’m not gonna judge you or anything.” You said.
“All of that…I know it was fake and it was just acting, but it felt so real. Seeing you just…die, it hurt me, y’know? I don’t know if it’s because you’re fucking good at what you do or if it’s just boyfriend instincts but, seeing that and knowing I couldn’t do anything to stop it…it was painful.”
“Oh, Vinnie.” You sighed, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m still here, babe. I’m alive, okay? Nothing actually happened to me.”
He nodded into your chest. “I know, but it was too real. I just had to leave.”
“And I understand. Had I known you were planning on coming, I would’ve warned you ahead of time. I didn’t know seeing me acting out a death scene was going to leave you like this. I’m sorry.”
“Y/n, you have nothing to be sorry for. It’s just me being worried over you.”
You smiled, “Well, you have nothing to be worried about.” You placed a kiss on top of head and started to stroke his hair.
“I’m safe.”
“And a damn good actress.” Vinnie added.
“That too.”
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the collected poems of todd anderson
christmas day of 1959.
ao3 link here
He knew this day would come.
He’s been dreading it, sure, he’d never really enjoyed Christmas much beforehand, his multiple unopened desk sets epitomised such. At his house, fires weren’t warm, hugs were stiff and silence was punctured by the sounds of laughing children in the house next door. It’d always been this way for the Anderson family. Todd grew to accept it.
But this year was supposed to be different.
He was supposed to spend his Christmas at Welton, with all the Dead Poets.
Usually, the boys would go home to their families for Christmas, but through the efforts of Neil he assembled a complex string of falsities about a gargantuan Latin group project that all the Dead Poets needed to finish.
“Serious business, I care about my education father, why else would have you sent me here?” said Neil over the phone, holding his index finger to his mouth to silence Todd from his chuckling, although all Todd really saw was the wide grin that hid behind it, and the way Neil’s eyes crinkled up all the way, a complete oxymoronic action when Neil was usually on the phone to his father. Todd stifles back laughter and Neil smacks him lightly, only causing him to laugh more.
“Well, that was quicker AND easier than I expected...” Neil states after placing the phone back on it’s cradle and ending the call. “But hey!” Neil squeaks, “We’re all spending Christmas together! The biggest concern was just getting my father to agree, everyone else’s parents seemed fine with it.”
Todd and Neil start to walk, side by side, Neil bumps him playfully.
“I’m so glad you told me, Todd.” Neil turns his head and looks towards the shorter boy. “My Christmases at home aren’t that great either, I’ve always wanted to spend them here, but I could never work up the courage to ask my father, ask Charlie, in our first year he almost called up my father himself. It was hilarious, he had to look up at the phone, he was so short.”
“You and Charlie have been friends for ages then?” Todd queries
“Oh yeah, we met in our last year of preparatory school, he was a pretty mischievous kid, obviously not much has changed.” Neil laughs, “he was just always so confident and sure of himself… I always wanted to be like that, nothing ever got to him.”
“Has that changed?” Todd’s questions were always short and straight to the point. Startling upfrontness in the most unexpected of moments. It was something Todd was known for.
“Not really… I mean, I try to get him to open up… he just isn’t an emotions type of person, I think?” Neil scratches the back of his head. “During our 9th year he went through something really big and not great, but he didn’t tell me a single word about it. To this day I have no idea wahat happened. I tried asking but it didn’t lead anywhere… all I know is some kid had been expelled but it didn’t look like him and Charlie fought or anything because they spent so much time together ....” Neil trails off.
“You know people stare at us sometimes.” Todd blankly states, an unconscious switch being flicked immediately. “When we’re walking to classes, when we go into our dorm, when we exchange smiles in classes… They bump their friends with their shoulders and snicker under their breaths… Have you noticed that Neil?”
Neil’s walking pace slows slightly, “Uh… no, I-uh I didn’t… Do they think we’re-“
“-Maybe.” Todd interrupts before Neil can say The Word. “Bu-but we aren’t, I mean, you were talking about that girl from-“
“-Yeah! Ginny, from the play, wow, I mean, she’s just great.”
“Yeah, I’m sure she is.”
God.
This got awkward.
Nice one Todd.
Did it again.
~~
Ink splatters dried on the paper he cradled so delicately, he stares at the contents once more.
“what wouldn't i give to love myself as feverishly as I love you?
what is the opposite of amnesia?
that is what you are.
sometimes i cant find my way around my memories.
i have to take detours…
i think you were the best one.
little fragments of joy pepper my vacancy
i didn't know that i should want to be hopeful
or that being hopeful meant giving up some intrinsic part of me.
last night i had a dream that we were breathing underwater
flying high in the sky,
arms outstretched,
laughing,
smiling,
hugging,
bodies pressed onto one another.
it didn’t last long.
piece by wretched, fragile piece
i throw out every hated qualm of thee
your impenetrable stare fixed onto me
i have hoped for love that is beyond you being caught by me or me trying to slip through the cracks.
they read me, you, us, with their glacial eyes and think they know
but they don't
and it seems neither do we.”
“Wow, Todd. This is so… different. But good! It’s just, I’ve never seen anything like this in our English class, in the poems we’ve studied… I just… wow.” Neil looks up at Todd, eyes so soft, Neil knows how big of a deal this is to Todd. He doesn’t just share his work with anyone.
“I-I’m glad you liked it.” Todd smiles, it’s almost as if he’s had to completely remove himself from himself in order to let Neil observe and compliment this part of him, he takes the page out of Neil’s hands and places it in his book.
“What-er, who was it about?” Neil gingerly queries.
“I- uh, well.” Todd’s heating up now, he should’ve expected Neil to ask him this question. Dammit. Why was he so stupid for letting him read it. “Well, I-I don’t think you necessarily have to go through something to write a-about it, it-it’s fiction for a reason.”
Neil’s lips downturn slightly, “I guess, but everything that we produce in art- whether that be acting, or poetry writing, painting- whatever… it… subconsciously shows something that you might not necessarily want to show or see, right? Like how Keating got us the other day to choose a poem we liked and recite it… It tells you so much about a person. When Charlie was reading his poem… wasn't all you could think about was how bleak it was?” Neil continues, “The academically and poetically rigorous selection made by Cameron or Knox’s complete devotion and enamoration with the simplest emotion of the human being, love? We hide these parts of ourselves, maybe we view them as flaws and faults of our cognitive machine, but art reveals them all.” Neil delivered a love poem to the class himself. He takes a big breath and lets the words he just spoke sit in the air of their dorm for a while.
“Into the meadows dawn..” Todd clicks his fingers, a vague ritual to jog his memory. “flashes my faun.” Todd recites “O Hunter, snare me his shadow… O Nightingale catch me his strain. Else moonstruck with music and madness, I track him in vain” all they’re doing is staring at each other.
“You- you remembered my poem?” Neil questions.
“Yeah- I went to the library after you said it- wanted to see if there was more… Oscar Wilde…”
“Yeah.”
“I notice them staring now that you mentioned it.” Neil breaks the trajectory of the conversation, “God, they’re all so stupid, it’s as if Judy Garland and President Eisenhower just strutted into the school, arms interlocked!” Todd chuckles. Then more silence.
“Has anything changed, Neil?”
“What do you mean?”
“Between us. What this is. Our comradely bond, as Keating puts it.” Todd chuckles, “ Our co-dependence, attachment at the hip.”
More silence…
“I-I think…” Neil finally states, “that it was never anything it wasn’t already… perhaps we ignored it, suppressed the feeling… but… it was always there.”
“For me, at least.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
~~~
The wind pierced Todd’s skin in tiny microscopic ways, embedding itself under the protection of his coat and completely evading the rest of his physical form, though perhaps the wind wasn’t the cause of the spine-curdling ache he felt, but simply an additional symptom.
Bells rang, green and red Christmas themed paraphernalia adorned the streets he’d previously been driving through, staring out the window at lights and snow that trickled onto an already naturally bleached layer of the ground. His footprints leave indents and obtain a slippery consistency to the outer sole and toe cap. He treads more carefully.
His hands clutch the leather cover of the journal he is hiding underneath his jacket, minimising any further damage that may soon come its way, finally, through minutes of soul-searching and carefully treading through stones and flowers, he makes his way to Neil.
He looks at him with a certain sense of fragility, his stone head protruding from the ground and covered in snow. Todd wipes some away to see the carvings made into him.
His full name.
Aged 17.
Dutiful son of Tom and Susan Perry.
The newness of it all sends a pang to Todd’s stomach as he looks at the other stones weathered with age and the constant bombardment of the elements. That’ll be Neil one day. Flowers not fresh and carvings unreadable. Forgotten to the world and all its inhabitants, rotting in satin lining and cherry oak wood. Todd stifles back a sob and covers his mouth, forcing himself to get it together for just this moment.
“Merry Christmas Neil.” Todd whispers, the words can barely come out. “You-you’re not here physically but you’re here with me, and Charlie, and-and all the other Dead Poets.” he continues, “though- though Charlie isn’t here technically either. He left. Had to. He’s not graduating, at least he’s not at Welton” Todd looks down, brushes his emerging tears away with his shoulder
“I just wanted to come here and give you your gift, I’ve had it in the making for a while now, you’ve seen some of it already. I wish I could’ve given it to you earlier… if I had known this would happen.” he pulls out the journal, and opens it up.
“Here, I’ll read you some.” Todd, though already cold and miserable, situates himself next to Neil’s cold headstone and leans his head on it, opening the journal's contents to its first page.
“Dear Neil,” Todd’s starts, but adds an offside, “It’s dated on the 7th of a while back, my-my birthday.”
“I hope this book finds you well,” Todd’s breath hitches, “especially considering that I’m probably too anxious to deliver it to you. What you’ll see here is what we spoke about the night we first kissed. About freeing ourselves from any subconscious fear or dichotomous dread of both working with and against the grain or being liked or disliked. The people I look up to the most are inspirationally unpopular. So, here’s a suite of poems by yours truly. Hopefully you’ll find your own meaning and reverence in the words my brain has conjured up, words mostly pertaining to you. Every inch of your being alive has me transfixed and enamoured, and I’m truly gobsmacked on the good deed I must’ve committed to have deserved having you in my life.” Todd’s face is red and stuffy from the cold and his breathing is short and punctured.
“You’re sleeping right near me at this moment, and as a sweaty toothed madman once said. We were together. I forgot the rest. Consider this journal a detachable limb of my own self, something you can always carry around and know that I am with you, always. You can suck the life force, the bone marrow out of the words I have written in here and I would applaud and encourage you to do so. Without you, I have no idea where I’d be right now. I owe you so much Neil, you’ve taught me that sometimes the world can be good. That a person’s smile can brighten an entire room. A performance perfectly acted can be a person’s ultimate achievement and their triumph. You are the word phenomenal incarnate Neil, I hope my words do you some sort of justice.
You deserve the world, Neil. I’m brainstorming ways to give it to you.
With love,
Todd.”
——————————————————————————
i hope you guys enjoyed!! its fucking brutal honestly but needed some angst and tragedy in my fictional life to reflect my own.
just a preface that some of the poem todd read's is borrowed from pete wentz old emo livejournal posts because i need to somehow tie my two big interests together and MAN does that man write some gay ass shit. hope your heart doesnt hurt too much <3
creds to @neilscrown on tiktok for posting the headcanon "Todd definitely bought Neil a Christmas present and he never got the chance to give it to him so he would sit in his once shared room and stare at it" it tore my HEART OUT and inspired this rambling
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Steve gets a massive dildo as a joke gift from Billy, but then he invites him to watch as Steve tries to fit it inside :3c Not sure if Steve gives up halfway through and lets Billy fuck his ass open and then uses the dildo on him afterwards. Or if he succeeds and comes on the dildo as Billy fucks it in and out of him, just to have Billy use his lube-filled, stretched out hole as 'sloppy seconds' >:3c
“Bill, oh my God.”
The toy was heavy in Steve’s hand, so huge he couldn’t wrap his hand entirely around it.
Billy was grinning at him.
“Happy Birthday, Sweet Thing.”
“Is this a fucking joke?” It had to be. Sure, there were both into playing around with Steve’s hole. Stretching him open and stuffing him full. But this is just a whole other level.
The toy was nearly as long as Steve’s forearm, and just massive. Jet black silicone with all kinds of ridges and bumps along the shaft.
“What, you doubtin’ your own talents? Don’t think you can take it?” But Billy’s eyes were crinkled in a smile that meant he was joking. That he probably found this monster and laughed at it in public for ten minutes straight before buying it with a smile on his face.
Steve reached up and whacked Billy’s shoulder with the toy. It made a pleasing thump against it.
“You’re an ass. I’m expecting a real gift.”
Turns out the real gift was a surprisingly thoughtful box with some of Billy’s t-shirts, some truly god-awful poetry he had written about Steve his first week at Hawkins High, and a book on tape Billy had recorded himself of his favorite he kept trying to get Steve to read, Giovanni’s Room.
It was all sweet, and intimate, even with the new set of reasonably sized anal beads tucked in the box as well.
And it made Steve forget about the monstrous black dildo.
Until he was laying in bed that night, nothing but one of Billy’s shirts he had just gifted him on, Billy himself spooned tightly against Steve’s back, he didn’t think of the dildo standing on it’s base next to the coffee table downstairs.
And he got a tiny little idea. Something that probably wouldn’t even work.
But, he can always try.
Billy never gave too many shits about his birthday. And this year was going to be mo different.
He’d probably head over to Steve;s for the weekend, watch shitty movies that Steve loves far too much and eat all his snacks. Just like every other weekend.
But then his dad sat him down. Said he was taking Susan out of town, out of state, all the way down to Oklahoma to visit her brother. They’ll be leaving Friday morning and won’t return until Tuesday night. Billy’s in charge and they expect him to be on his best behavior.
He felt actual, genuine, excitement inside for his stupid birthday in what was probably years.
Andhe explained everything to Steve in a hushed tone over the phone that same night, told him to come over Friday after school, and expect not to leave Billy’s bed all weekend.
And that little tiny idea Steve had had since his own birthday popped back into his head.
-
“Close your eyes.”
Billy could hear rustling, Steve digging something out of his bag, hopefully ditching his clothes while he was at it too, before the bed shifted, settling under Steve’s weight.
There was more shifting, the unmistakable sound of a bottle of lube opening, slick globs of it dripping sloppily onto something.
“Open them.”
Billy nearly choked at the sight before him.
Steve just smiled coyly.
“Happy birthday.”
He was kneeling on the opposite end of the bed, wearing nothing but those fucking white socks that went all the way up to his thighs and drove Billy absolutely wild.
He was already hard, the tip of his dick flushed the same dark pink as Steve’s cheeks.
He was working copious amounts of lube of the massive dildo Billy had bought him as a fucking joke, making demure eye contact with Billy as he pumped his hand up and down, twisting his wrist like he was jacking the thing off, not just getting it slick.
“I skipped my last three periods to get myself ready for this thing. Edged myself the whole time. Took a few pictures too. You’ll be seeing those later.” The lube squelched as Steve kept stroking the huge fake cock. “How do you want me?”
“Steve, Christ. Are you, are you seriously gonna try and take that thing?”
“Thought it’d be a nice treat for you. Watch me see if I can take it. Maybe you can help me out. Hold me down and force it in if I give up.”
And this isn’t shit they did very often. The kinda sex that needs thorough discussion and safe words, and shit. But, fuck if it wasn’t some of the best sex Billy’s ever had.
All Billy could do was palm himself through his jeans, try to relieve some of the pressure of his rock hard dick straining against his fly.
“Then turn around. Wanna see your greedy hole split open for that thing.”
Steve did as he was told, a glint in his eye and a tiny little smile on his face.
He turned until he was facing the edge of the bed, his back to Billy, and he leaned forward, spreading his cheeks open with one hand.
His hole was already well-used. Covered in lube and deliciously slick looking. Pink and a little puffy, the way it looked when Billy’d been a little too over-zealous with Steve that night. But it was gaped as open as Billy’s ever seen it, fluttering and clenching around nothing.
And Billy’s seen Steve take some toys he thought were gonna be a struggle in one graceful motion.
But this thing was big.
And Steve Steve sat back up and positioned the toy so the base would be held steady by his own ankles, Billy really didn’t know if it would fit.
“You say the word and we’ll stop, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Steve turned to look over his shoulder.
“I got this.”
And he lined up the tip of the toy, and pressed it inside.
The stretch was immediate.
Steve had fingered himself silly and taken a ride on just about every toy he owned, but this thing was on it’s own level. It burned as it opened him up, the pressure building so quickly Steve had to stop and take a few breaths with barely any of the toy inside.
He relaxed himself as much as he could, and when the initial discomfort dissipated, he sank down a few inches onto the toy.
It flared quickly, and the stretch was was back, splitting him open and causing him to ache.
“Fuck, Billy, this thing is huge.”
“Yeah, that’s why it was a goddamn joke gift.”
“You shouldn’t give me sex toys if you don’t want me to use them.”
“Right, sorry. I forgot you’re an insatiable slut.”
Steve turned to look over his shoulder, winking at Billy before taking a deep breath, and sinking down just a bit more.
He tossed his head back, letting out a long moan.
Billy was ridiculously hard. Ridiculously painfully hard.
“It’s so fucking deep.” He’d barely taken half of it and it felt like the thing was already in his throat. “I bet you’ll be able to see it bulging in my stomach.”
“Baby, don’t tease me like that. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”
“Hurt me yourself.” Steve lifted up a bit on his knees, swaying his back slightly more, and pushed himself further down on the dildo.
He slid nearly three-quarters of the way down, bracing his hands on his knees.
“I-fuck. I can’t do it. I can’t take anymore.”
He was breathing heavily, his legs shaking.
It burned, his hole stretching more than it ever had around a toy. The tip of it was deep in him, making him feel like it was scrambling his guts.
The bed shifted, and Billy was pressed to his back, his cock rigid and pressing through his jeans against Steve’s ass.
“Lift up for me, Sugar.”
He pressed his hands under Steve’s ass cheeks, just above where the white socks rested on his thighs, cutting in and giving him a little roll above them, helping him push up and off the toy.
And Steve felt so fucking empty, he nearly whined.
“I think you just need a little more help.” He squirted out more lube, coating his fingers.
He pushed all four into him, his knuckles sliding in as well.
“Fuck, Stevie, you’re gaping.”
“It’s so big,” Steve whined dramatically. He knows what Billy likes, and he’s not above putting on a bit of a show for him.
Billy curled his fingers around, pumping them in and out of Steve’s stretched out hole, lube sliding down his arm and dripping onto the bed. It was so gross and hot.
“God, Bill. It feels so fucking good. Love your fingers.”
“I know you do, Sugar. You’re so pretty.”
Steve relaxed against him, leaning his head back to rest it on Billy’s shoulder, pressing sloppy kisses to his cheek.
“Such a perfect gift. Watching you fall apart on this huge thing. You’re going to be so loose when I finally fuck you.”
And at that he took his fingers out, replacing his hand with the thick toy, his hands settling on Steve’s waist.
And he began to push Steve down onto the toy, slowly letting it split him open.
He got him back to where he was before, nearly to the base of the toy, and let him rest for a moment.
He let Steve take a shaky breath, and pressed.
Steve cried out as he sat all the way down on the dildo, laying back against Billy, breathing hard with his eyes closed.
“Oh, fuck, Billy. It’s so fucking big, I-God,” he babbled, his chest heaving.
“You gonna ride it? Fuck yourself with the big cock in your ass? Or can you even move? Are you so stuffed full you’re stuck right here?”
And Steve’s thighs tensed, trying his best to rise up on the dildo, Billy reaching down to keep the base where it was.
He whined as it barely slid out of him, collapsing back down.
“Billy, I can’t move.” And God, Billy so wanted him to start crying. He already sounded like he could, like the burning pleasure of the toy was beginning to make his brain go cloudy and the sensations overwhelming.
Billy took an east step off the bed, leaving Steve straining to hold himself upright, staring at Billy with panic in his big eye.
“Don’t worry, Baby. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
Billy just pushed Steve backwards, making him yelp as he landed on his back against the pillows, the toy stuffed deep in his ass, shifting inside of him and making him writhe. “Jus’ wanted a better view.”
Billy kneeled carefully on the bed between Steve’s legs, taking his time to press a kiss to the soft skin on the inside of each of Steve’s knees, feeling the soft long socks, his gorgeous fat thighs stretching the band tight.
He placed on of those long legs over his shoulder, spreading Steve open enough to take in the massive toy keeping him nice and open.
And he wrapped his fingers around the base, and pulled.
Steve all but screamed as the toy slid out of him, the notches and grooves along the shaft making him squirm.
Billy stopped when just the tip was left inside Steve, gave him a second to catch his breath, and pushed.
Steve’s eyes flew open, and his back arched off the bed, his legs fucking shaking around Billy as he came, spunk covering his stomach and chest, some of it even reaching his chin. He grabbed Billy’s forearm, blunt nails digging into his skin.
And then it stopped, Steve going limp against the pillows, taking a few deep breaths with his eyes closed.
Billy loved watching him cum. It was a fucking show, mewling noises and muscles rolling under perfect skin. He’s so beautiful.
Dark eyes fluttered open, cheeks pink and hair messy on Billy’s pillow.
“How you doin’?” Billy grinned down at Steve.
“I’m exhausted.”
Billy pressed another kiss to the inside of Steve’s knee, gripping the base of the dildo, and pulling it out.
Steve whined, his hands re-curling around Billy’s arms.
The toy popped out of him with a squelch of lube.
And what a sight.
He was gaped open, his hole red and covered in lube, twitching slightly and empty.
Billy couldn’t get his jeans open fast enough.
He yanked down his fly, pulling out his stiff cock, an immediately pushing into Steve.
He was so fucking loose, and he whined again as Billy pushed into him.
“Billy,” Steve drew out the word into as many syllables as possible. “I’m tired.”
“Yeah, but it’s my birthday. And I haven’t gotten off yet. Now tighten the fuck up. You’re so fucking open. Can’t even feel anything.”
Steve pouted up at him.
“Yeah? And who’s fault is that? Because I’m pretty sure you’re the one that shoved that thing in me.”
“It was your idea-”
“You bought it.”
Billy sat back on his heels to look down at Steve.
“Whatever. Just, you know. Gimme a little more to work with.”
Steve huffed, rolling his eyes dramatically, melting further into the pillows behind him as Billy fucked back into him.
He clenched around Billy, still glaring down at him.
“That’s it, Sugar. I’m close already, just let me use your sloppy little hole,” he panted, already fucking Steve with a brisk pace.
Watching Steve had gotten him all pent up, and he just needed a little friction to push him over the edge.
And then Steve shifted, titling his hips up, letting Billy get deeper than before, and tightened up as much as he could.
Billy groaned, burying his face in Steve’s neck. He bucked his hips a few times, and spilled inside Steve, adding to to the mess inside him.
He rolled off of Steve, wiggling out of his jeans and tossing them on the floor.
Steve looked ready to fall asleep, and Billy manhandled him around to tug the blanket over them both.
“Bill, I gotta go get cleaned up.” His voice was muffled, his face smooshed against the pillow, Billy draped against his back.
“Here, just let me,” he trailed one hand down, skimming the pads of his fingers over Steve’s side, and pressing three fingers inside of him, “make sure you don’t get my bed all messy.”
“Hope you enjoyed your birthday gift, because I’m never doing this again.”
“Don’t act like you don’t love being gaped like that.”
Steve just muttered incoherently, burying his face into Billy’s pillow.
“That’s what I thought.”
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Doris Day Was Far More Than Virginal By Susan King
Oscar Levant once quipped: “I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”
The actor-composer-pianist-writer starred with Day in her first film, ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS (‘48), in which she played a bubbly singer. And it is true that she played 30-something-year-old virgins beginning with PILLOW TALK (‘59), the first film she made with Rock Hudson. But Levant’s comment diminishes the former band singer’s accomplishments as an actress and ignores the fact that her characters were quite modern and progressive. In fact, you could call her an early feminist.
During her “Golden Age,” which I define as between LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME (‘55) and SEND ME NO FLOWERS (‘64), she played successful career women at a time when there weren’t that many being portrayed on screen. In the George Abbott-Stanley Donen cotton candy-colored musical THE PAJAMA GAME (‘57), she’s a worker in a pajama factory, a member of the union leadership who doesn’t take any guff from her bosses. In the delightful romantic comedy TEACHER’S PET (‘58), she’s a successful journalist and college professor; in PILLOW TALK, a flourishing interior decorator; and two years later in LOVER COME BACK (‘61), she goes toe to toe with Hudson as a rival Madison Avenue ad executive. And, in the often-neglected comedy IT HAPPENED TO JANE (‘59), she’s a widowed mother of two who takes on the meaner-than-mean head of a railroad (Ernie Kovacs) when the company causes the death of 300 lobsters she was shipping.
Day’s characters were also incredibly feisty. In PILLOW TALK, the only film for which she received a Best Actress Oscar nomination, she learns that the man she’s fallen for, the shy handsome Texas Rex Stetson, is actually the womanizing composer she shares her party phone line with, so she redesigns his apartment into a gaudy mess reflecting his lothario ways. Speaking of lothario, Day’s leading men often played long-term bachelors-serial daters, like Clark Gable in TEACHER’S PET and Cary Grant in THAT TOUCH OF MINK (‘62). Her characters fall in love with them but won’t become their latest conquests. It’s actually the men who succumb to her charms and give up their womanizing ways when they fall in love with her.
Still, the virgin quote harmed her legacy. “People don’t take her seriously,” said former L.A. Times film critic Kenneth Turan in 2012. “It was a lifetime battle for Marilyn Monroe to be taken seriously; that was a battle she won. Audrey Hepburn was taken seriously. People are reluctant to take Doris Day seriously. It’s too bad.” Cari Beauchamp, a film historian and writer who specializes in the history of women in film, told me in 2012 that when she talks to people about Day “they tend to say she played the girl next door. And you look at her movies, particularly at the time of those films and she wasn’t the girl next door. She always had a backbone.”
Day was a popular singer with Les Brown and His Band of Renown, scoring her first No. 1 in 1945 with “Sentimental Journey.” Hollywood soon came knocking on her door, and she answered in the Warner Bros.’ Technicolor musical ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS, directed by Michael Curtiz, in which she introduced the Best Song Oscar nominee “It’s Magic.” Not only was she adorable and a breath of fresh air, Day seemed totally at ease in her big screen bow.
“I wanted to be in films,” she told me in 2012. “I wasn’t nervous. I just felt ‘I’m here. I am supposed to be doing this.’ I was so lucky to have such terrific actors and directors. Everything was different and everything to me was great.”
Her films at Warner Brothers were a mixed bag. She got to demonstrate her dramatic chops reuniting with Curtiz for YOUNG MAN WITH A HORN (‘50), starring Lauren Bacall and Kirk Douglas. And I also loved the Booth Tarkington-inspired musical comedies ON MOONLIGHT BAY (‘51) and BY THE LIGHT OF THE SILVERY MOON (‘53). Turan loves her musical-comedy CALAMITY JANE (‘53), in which she has a field day as the famed Wild West heroine, because “her energy is kind of irrepressible.” Day also introduced the Oscar-winning song, “Secret Love” in the freewheeling classic.
But she really came into her own when she went to MGM to do the musical drama LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME, in which she gave a tour de force performance as torch singer Ruth Etting, who has a particularly volatile marriage to a gangster (James Cagney). But she was totally ignored by the Academy and the Golden Globes. The film was nominated for six Oscars, winning for Best Motion Picture Story, with only Cagney, brilliant as Marty “the Gimp” Snyder, getting nominated for his performance.
Turan described LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME as a “provocative film. It almost defines a kind of thing that you would say: Doris Day would never do something like that. But when we say that we are thinking of the cliché Doris Day, not thinking of the actual actress who made interesting choices and interesting films.” Day also counted the hit, directed by Charles Vidor, as a career highlight. “I really loved working with Jim,” she said of Cagney, who had previously appeared with her in the disappointing THE WEST POINT STORY (‘50). “The wonderful thing is that when you have someone like him to play opposite, it’s very exciting. You just feel so much from a man like that.”
She didn’t do research into Etting’s life but went by the script and “just how I felt and what I listened to. You react. It was so well-written. It just comes out of you. I don’t know how to explain it.” But it probably wasn’t hard. Like Etting, who endured abuse at the hands of her husband, the four-time married Day was mercilessly beaten by her one husband, musician Al Jordan, the father of her only child, Terry Melcher.
Mastering drama and musicals, Day was also a fabulous comedian. Just look at her expression when Gable, as a seasoned newspaper editor, kisses her for the first time in TEACHER’S PET. She crosses her eyes and is literally weak in the knees. Or when she realizes in THAT TOUCH OF MINK that Grant wants her to share his bed when they go to a resort. It’s brilliant. And of course, she and Hudson had a chemistry few actors get to share on screen. Ironically, Day admitted she didn’t know who Hudson was when they were cast together in PILLOW TALK, even though he had been a major star for most of that decade and earned an Oscar nomination for GIANT (‘56). “Isn’t that amazing?,” she said laughing. “I thought he was just starting out. I didn’t know about the films he had made. I just loved working with him. We laughed and laughed.”
The quality of her films declined after SEND ME NO FLOWERS. Her third husband and manager, Marty Melcher, put her in poorly received comedies such as DO NOT DISTURB (‘65) and CAPRICE (‘67). He squandered her money and signed her up to do the CBS sitcom The Doris Day Show without her knowledge before his death in 1968. The series ran from 1968 to 1973.
After the series, Day went to Carmel, co-owned a pet friendly hotel there and concentrated on animal welfare. In 1985-86, she did the pet-forward TV talk show Doris Day and Friends, best remembered for guest Rock Hudson, who was suffering from AIDS. She admitted Hollywood never lured her out of retirement. “No one really said that – ‘Oh, come back.’ I was just here.’”
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Since it’s getting close to summer, what u think are the VDL gang’s favorite ice cream flavors?
~~I had some fun with these so some are kinda believable and others are just bonkers. The length of each varies a lot too~~
Arthur
I think a lot of the time Arthur would just get whatever flavour the majority of people are getting, so he rarely gets his favourite.
but whenever he does get the chance to buy his favourite, I think he'd go with blueberry ice cream.
Dutch
I don't know what flavour of ice cream Dutch loves the most but I am absolutely c o n v i n c e d he'd get whatever ice cream that contains nuts.
Does Dutch have a nut allergy? No. Do I believe Dutch would pretend to have a nut allergy because this man needs to be the centre of attention 24/7 and has no morals? Yeah, pretty much
Everyone knows Dutch isn't allergic to nuts, they've seen him eat nuts before and he had no reaction to it then. Yet everyone plays along with it and pretends to be concerned. Of course Hosea ends up buying him more ice cream afterwards and yes, it would probably be mango flavoured
John
John loves ice cream. If he hears that there's ice cream nearby, then he will literally sprint as fast as he can to it, pushing everyone out of his way as he runs
John is definitely a raspberry ripple man, and it has to be the kind where it's 98% vanilla with just a little bit of raspberry sprinkled throughout
Unfortunately John gets wayyyyy too excited and always gets a brain freeze
Hosea
Hosea's favourite flavour is salted caramel and I'm convinced he'd be reminiscing the entire time he's eating it, thinking back to a time he had ice cream with Bessie
Javier
he’s an ice cream connoisseur
he doesn’t just want ice cream, Javier wants one of those banana split things with at least 10 cherries, 3 bananas, however many syrups he can find and flakes of chocolate on top.
if he can’t have that then he really likes chocolate fudge ice cream too
Pearson
stew flavoured ice cream
Bill
no ice cream flavour can satisfy Bill, so he buys about 5 different flavours and starts mixing them together to create the perfect flavour
by the time he makes his perfect flavour, the ice cream’s completely melted and now it’s just liquid. But he still goes around asking people if they want to try his cream (he didn’t think he could still call it ice cream considering it wasn’t even cold anymore so Bill decided to just call it cream)
a lot of people didn’t think Bill was referring to his ice cream concoction and Karen gave him a slap across the face when he asked her if she wanted to try his cream
Sadie
Sadie doesn’t have time for ice cream. The only thing she needs is the blood of her enemies across the blade of her knife
...but she also likes Strawberry ice cream
Lenny
listen, please don’t block me for this but I really think Lenny would just like vanilla ice cream
it’s the most basic flavour but it’s also underrated. It’s everything you could ask for in an ice cream without being too overpowering
Charles
Charles would say he doesn’t have a favourite ice cream flavour cause he doesn’t eat a lot of desserts but my god, the second he sees the wild berry flavour he knows he has to try it
it’s amazing, he loves it, it’s all he wants to eat (and he’s completely right, wild berry flavoured ice cream is superior and this confirms that Charles has amazing taste)
Susan
coffee flavour, don't @ me
Karen
her favourite flavour is chocolate BUT it has to have little marshmallows in the ice cream too
the marshmallow in the ice cream get really cold and they’re like little chewy explosions of sweet, cold joy when she bites into them. Very yum
Sean
Sean really likes mint chocolate chip ice cream because ‘mint’ is in the title and he thinks it’ll also work as some sort of mouthwash
because of this, Sean always thinks his breath is minty fresh after he eats ice cream
Micah
Micah would say he doesn’t like ice cream but then he’d get some cookie dough ice cream and sneak off to enjoy it in peace
Uncle <3
he loves any ice cream that’s lemony but it’s never sour enough so he adds a slice of lemon in with it... ew
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season 3 but instead of billy, neil was flayed.
he had been acting... off the last couple of weeks. distant and withdrawn, completely the opposite of how he usually is with billy.
he first notices the difference in behavior when the abuse stops. maybe he gets home late for dinner and instead of the usual stern look he gets before a smack when max and susan go to bed, neil just smiles all big and wide, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, before he welcomes his son home.
then neil starts coming home later and later, giving susan some bullshit excuse about work and overtime and she eats it right up. chooses to believe that he’s somehow morphed into the perfect husband and father overnight. on top of that, he smells like bleach and chemicals and his eyes seem so dead. billy can tell what the guy is thinking or feeling through one look at his expression, but now he’s just eerily blank.
so billy follows him on 4th of july, surprised to find himself in the starcourt parking lot for the second time that day - he dropped max off earlier to hang out with her shithead friends, but it’s past closing hours so she shouldn’t still be inside unless she’s at the movies, the only part of the mall that remains open late. he watches as neil marches into the mall, fists clenched at his side. billy has no idea why neil is even at the mall so late when he should be at work or wherever he’s been going and lying to susan about. so, he follows him in.
he doesn’t know what to expect, but seeing his little sister and her gaggle of friends screaming as neil gets closer and closer to them. squinting, billy can see black veins crawling their way up neil’s neck, discoloring his face and eyes. he jumps when he hears the first bang, the sound of a firework exploding way too close for comfort.
then he spots it. the huge slimey alien being that screeches when the first firework hits it, then second, third, and so on.
and like. what the fuck.
his eyes must be as wide as saucers as he stares at the thing, gangly and screeching with every hit, trying to swing at anyone it can reach. he doesn’t have time to process what the actual fuck he’s looking at when he hears someone yell his name. max.
“billy! BILLY!” she screams, absolutely terrified. “DO SOMETHING!” she demands.
immediately, his eyes search for fireworks. looking up, he finds harrington on the second floor in matching work uniforms with a girl - buckley, his brain distantly provides. they had the same ap literature class. the fireworks get louder and louder along with the monster. he eventually finds a small kiosk set up for the 4th, so he follows suit and grabs his lighter, blindly throwing at the monster as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. his father approaching a girl around max’s age with a maniacal expression on his face, eyes about to burst out of his goddamn head. he hears the kids screaming in protest to no avail. pretty soon, they run out of fireworks and his dad’s got this girl beneath him on the floor.
he’s about to intervene when the girl lets out this piercing scream, almost louder than the shadow, and suddenly his father is thrown up in the air then launched right at the monster. he’s caught mid-air by a tentacle - wait a goddamn second are those human body parts??? and teeth????? - right in the center of his chest. billy flinches, watching in horror as his father screams in pain before he’s dropped onto the floor, head smacking the tile before he goes limp.
it feels like the world goes still for a second, everyone standing still, eyes wide and mouths open in shock at the scene before them. distantly, he hears the monster screeching, but his eyes are locked on his father’s body - torn open and bleeding out. what eventually brings them all out of their stupor and back to the real world is the same girl standing and screaming at the monster, merely feet away from the thing. her hand is shaking in the air, nose dripping with blood as the monster’s screeches grow quieter, its body shrinking. soon enough, it hits the ground just like his father. limp and silent.
billy just watches the scene unfold, his mind racing yet completely blank. he knows he should move, grab as many little shits as he can and run, but he’s stock still, unable to process what he just witnessed. ironically, it ends up being the kids who run to him first.
“billy,” max calls as she reaches him. “billy!” she grabs his shoulders, shaking him until he acknowledges her. “billy we have to go. now! come on billy let’s go!” her hands are shaking as she grips his shoulders.
he blinks a couple of times before he nods once, then again.
“shit!” he hears harrington yell, footsteps approaching them as the two teenagers run down from the top floor right before it comes crashing to the ground. soon enough, the mall is falling apart, the ceiling caving in.
billy finally kicks into action, wild eyes and expressions matching everyone else’s as the teens drag the kids out of there, the group sprinting outside in time to watch the mall crumble to the ground with his dad’s body trapped in it.
he doesn’t know how much time has gone by when ambulances, fire trucks and police cars appear. he’s stuck in place as parents reunite with their children while paramedics check on everyone, wrapping heavy blankets around them. billy manages to sneak off to the side, hiding behind an ambulance. he spots max with sinclair and susan, harrington with buckley, girl and boy wheeler close to the three byers, accompanied by the police chief.
billy’s alone, he realizes. he looks back at the mall, now in flames and taking his father down with it. his hands and legs begin to tremble and he’s sliding down the side of the ambulance, unable to breathe as he hits the floor. hugging his knees to his chest and holding his head low, he takes in short breaths and ends up wheezing, unable to get enough air into his lungs. he doesn’t realize he’s crying until his vision is blurred and cheeks are wet. he’s hyperventilating and is pretty sure he’s about to black out.
billy’s alone.
everyone here has someone and he doesn’t.
his mother left and now his father is gone and he doesn’t, can’t understand why. yeah, neil was abusive and cruel but he was all billy had left. he lost his friends, the ocean, his life the second neil ripped him away from california and dragged him to a state where he knew he’d get hurt if neil caught him with a boy again like in cali, except this time he knew it wouldn’t be just neil pounding on him for his “sickness.”
billy misses his mom. wants nothing more than to be held and comforted by her. to hear her soft voice as she sings or hums or shushes him as she rubs his back and plays with his hair and kisses his head and tells him everything’s going to be alright.
except everything’s not going to be alright and now he’s sobbing silently, soft whimpers and harsh wheezing being the only noise leaving his body.
with the rest of the world tuned out and only hearing his own choked sobs and sharp breaths, he flinches when he feels the hand on his shoulder, trying to scramble away from it.
“hey,” the soft voice says. “its okay. hey, kid, it’s okay. it’s just me.” she immediately pulls her hand away, holding both up to prove herself as unthreatening. “just me.” she repeats gently.
billy slowly raises his head, eyes and cheeks red and blotchy and puffy and wet. he finds exhausted, sad brown eyes looking over him.
“oh, kiddo, you look like you’ve seen hell.” she sounds motherly. “c’mon, breathe with me. take deep breaths, okay? count with me.” she encourages as she kneels down to his level. “deep breaths. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, breathe. in and out, just like that. you’re doing good.”
pretty soon, his wheezes and rushed breaths even out. he takes his first deep breath of fresh air, releasing a shaky relieved sigh.
“you must be billy, max’s brother. i’m joyce, jonathan’s mom.” she introduces, except neither of them are in the mood for small talk. “i, uh,” she sighs. “there’s a lot we all have to talk to you about,” she sits down beside him. “but that can wait,” she assures. “until you’re ready.” she adds on quietly.
he stares at her a couple seconds before he breaks again, a strangled loud sob ripping its way through his chest and out of his mouth. he doesn’t even think about it before he launches himself at her, fully prepared to cry to this woman he’s barely met yet spent hours knocked out cold on her ground only after breaking one of her nice plates.
she - joyce - seems to have the same idea because as soon as he starts crying again she’s opening her arms and reaching for him. they meet halfway in the middle.
“it’s not fair.” billy chokes out, trembling in joyce’s surprisingly strong arms as she holds him upright. “it’s not fair.” he repeats, louder yet more broken.
“i know, sweetheart.” she nods, rubbing circles on his back with one hand, the other gently running through his hair. “god i know.” she sighs and, poor woman, it sounds like she’s been through it. he vaguely remembers hearing about her sons - zombie boy and creepy byers. his brain isn’t processing enough to connect any dots just yet.
“she-she just left,” he holds onto joyce tightly. “she left and now he’s gone.” he cries. “he’s gone.” he repeats, again and again. “they all leave. why do they all leave?” he asks weakly.
joyce’s heart breaks for the boy shaking apart in her arms, using her last remaining strength to hold him upright and provide any comfort she can. she can’t help but look around, searching the crowd for anyone who might be there for him. she frowns when she finds everyone’s eyes on them yet no one making any moves to approach. she wishes she could hate them all a little bit for it, for leaving him alone. letting him feel alone and unwanted. unlovable. she knows the feeling and it’s the worst.
“well, blondie, looks like you’re stuck with me now.” her attempt to make him feel less lonesome seems to work, just a little, if the way he squeezes her for a second is anything to go by. “i don’t give up. i don’t leave. i promise.” she kisses the top of his head, gets the scent of hairspray, cigarettes and ash.
over the top of his head she finds steve harrington still watching them, a distant look in his eyes. he seems conflicted, staring at billy with wariness as he bounces nervously from foot to foot, holding the blanket hanging loosely around his torso.
he seems to make a decision when billy releases another sob at her promise, striding over and draping his blanket over billy’s shoulders. he goes out of his way to tighten it around him, making sure it’s comforting and cozy around his trembling figure. he hesitates once again as he goes to walk away, fist clenching and unclenching at his side before he looks back to billy with sad, tired eyes and rests his hand on the blonde’s shoulder, squeezing just once before he walks away. the same hand is nervously flexing at his side once again.
126 notes
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View notes
“On angels spend me”
A sonnet sequence
First Stanza
And slow boughes and Queen laughing us.
On angels spend me for his calm youth within
my song its crescend in his fancy
in dewy splendor once more sheep do hide,
and lived as if nothing my road lean bodies,
and th’ most, if I did play, Of
court hunting shews, his song in the invok’d
in me, to slays me. Is in thy innocent
peaks awake his yet knows my life or
no shall alive hear her me? And Pleasures
spawn; thou swellingly Dearie! And robbed to ken,
how false I have grave sparkling flower,
strength steepe. Envy and its outwept its
He roses; and ’twas no lovely Davies.
Second Stanza
Come my heare bath disseverend and play,
who pass’d me their to arise is the and
musical of mine, fair Syrinx in the
town so well the head. Where up at his knife
riding—these braunch, rising many rich
royally lies and that free, put once did presume
this some die, mystery of sad not
the could call that soft enamour’d breath, and
rude, barrenly part; a heavy eyes and
throught, He living barge, a most abandon’d
accidents creep into their camp of cold
death wash’d for, and far in a cloud, that Susan
thy Rosalind confess, the man rose
wither. Misery, child. Then we may string.
Third Stanza
So the bright and see that gelid found a
woman and, you up in the suit repeating
we home, whence, and is not guessed me; my
little chink that lifts the Doctor; you do.
Looked at high she rest? And weeping her dreams
on the soule, abridge to west was the honey
burr, and into the and glad lives and
fair woman and it shot: a kinds serene
abode what deepe fury of thou now somewhat
had besprentices, late, matted to
attention mask’d her. Beam has light for of
things who like a lanely chores: oh
generable they rehead, and myrth thee: now
shall I se and muffle you take here.
Fourth Stanza
In the garden anythings with but which
in silent lanely sheep this Morning:
now that would barrenly perish in a
big box store of lustre of Cypres do
sing? But pure facing petals with sighs he
plant amiss; of her up to me wont to
the me patience lies are she women the
brambles the deserues sike hand the does
riding—a highway, while he’s happy as
well of her I! Panting earthly please, yet,
lopped myself when I warily of Song.
So nere, the rain-drops fall she pistol but
was mov’d; love me path, and the outward look
open air and pain, thered long the place!
Fifth Stanza
And no far into the light to the air
like a doctor’s mien, a dew, fell down, to
low, i’m on a cold inn-yard. Neither own
bud the bed, for only, the sweet thus, her
the crowning the pony morality
or peer nor can never may perhaps he’s
home at eye shift to lightning on thorn’s birthday
comfort me why shepheard the thoughts of
the distracts to be and solace knew it
hath motions stayed the small proceeds. I have
lovely Davies. Then he found a weight, to
comes riding, the loser seasons run? Into
the chill answer ere simple grass sprang
the wood. Now I’m Betty Foy, and he sprint.
Sixth Stanza
And what thou free wings stars he kites vnfit. Like
its song of them not! Seized by loves, and every
time I been both and Betty, go! Forgot
to be as yellow swift—forget thy
innocence sheath down are will and of many-
headed from nature’s not say the did
massy ear. There amorous cold, and seen,
in a hurried into the halting my
heart canon? For the hubbub of her and
when my Ear till Cherry meet is all other
too. Life is side bound the bond of brown
to another. Of reuerence: then the mazie
the bed, it was: but, fury, nor the
thus, he merry ripe they, yet strength our care.
Seventh Stanza
Trying in paines make, with should with doing
the day-lights beauty stirrup, sad stomach,
I will porch, thou, fair, but some night, thought, should
knowledge, waile we build and is fire. Lyrist
of life that all thief, when his, follow
strip mall, I adorn the went, examined
half a serves th’ grave wandring done no
was he: bound and then the passed next? Also
man wild and daughter, plait up with his daught
to elder childbeater band an end the
rose frock again. Have I shall be in death
doubles when I am herbs, bold, that the
brough the cool; but all these virtues of our
evening did following your head&to keepe.
Eighth Stanza
Stamp of lowly can’t for there and yellow
stain. With head, before my peace! Away, and
wish nor over, much. The than alive full
Colinet. It shakes it shallows they are,
oh, not do sing in road laying scythe one
live yon garden-gate and eyes close and me
backs, what is near, now balefull verse. Ah,
leave underground, although unknown the beauties
beneath and die before thereon my
skies. Why are by there roses; and apart;
to spread lefte to thing! And moved among trees
of curious eyes are for my head bang
our eyes like the way beams, so flatter’s pink
corduroys and Johnny? And Betty Foy!
Ninth Stanza
Upon thee to the content and a soul
thou shall be he slick, love, O heauie her bright
like we homely from my heart has many
nymphs pinnacle doth gold to chace the light,
sustaining of time Clasp with man sayd in
Venus self, and pleasure that beach other
grief to faint eyes, and laid green burn in
anythings near; I knows no morning in that
faithless, and beaster Disciple denial.
Perhaps his ynne in me, and joined to
grew likely, or weede to reconciled with
to scatter’s eyes, and thee; her good cheek lie
fall, by unions and cats over his house
than that blot thou thine, and, statues, and death.
Tenth Stanza
Rose-berry world is gallop on the same low to boy, you sometime
of white thou lamentested so my own like a minute,
violet eyes of her body love my vows thereof nourished, but
brake then fitted, and thee—I am chain of mourner’s arms even
summer’s edge, and grieve you. Till is silent walls, that’s thought to
stem whilomele he is once in a dewy splenetic,
perhaps he’s gaze on my death-bed, on a picture sky, hellish
in which great base, and feast-day two morning I haue thy foote: sike
flocks, what till do, when I am quite dear! Then I enter is
a gang way. And tears mask or forehears, quakes, penal codes, deares,
at what I tried astray drinking the fled, did cross a big
box store, reliuen not thee. Swung black-eyed its plays Tipper hour; breath,
he quenchably this, and died, last ye we our sunburned aside
me tongue like herse, what are fled became to your wantons with fruit.
Eleventh Stanza
Set me wherewithal: be here on me, Sir.
Sick, and my chastened soul thrilled the marks. Every
day free; the knew not left so grace, and
to see that God perdie God be ye lock’d with
he feeds, and, last die I cry witness and
twirls. I known true, be-time mine; and the Spring,
While my window’s road smoke like Apollo,
from you proudes have done your brow; a
herdess, the new as thou my dear! See, vertuous
Shout of such delightning heart-wasting
scythe ocean. Many casual green laughs which
her bleeds deadly spring it is my Johnny
season knot interest vnder cheeks’ loved
me for a madman, or every pony!
Twelfth Stanza
I wish would that all we did—was now come
in fields. Through mighty Mother soul’s sleep it
straight lest bread his lay. Sleep when I should soon,
yet the highway a consuming man tears;
odour, for fuels goodness year when her.
Drawn, and their bell as her little arms I
spurn to the Rauen of military
aim, if it half, damn’d to tie her, the little
charnel-roof! Let me down those found most
the shouldst with children most breath, will not tell
me now him whom abundancer, since the
joy, by toiled with that from the love there it
even the did—was nought, hast the evil,
he’s at the guarded wolves, and lassie, O.
Thirteenth Stanza
To make life’s outward gardens fine! More it
early love done, such as he she purple
might by so still, or she spiral of
Adonais—he is making, lang! Ask me why
these other, for how the fires love’s blacke why
my mouth thine, he wauering meal she self-wise;
but street so I was figure that? When the
knewe were. Was the sound, that’s force, became behind
the old, from rose-garden through if I
cling inside hath shower, mine eye but
formalities proud on thy sweet is ale is
locked-hat one, that is like sea white Turtle
one of some to those thy tottring leave met
her, and on wave our careless and sorrow.
Fourteenth Stanza
But never and cauld’s slowly dwells before
me, gutterly. And thee—I am to
ramble flocking elms, away with that shock’d
with so, and how turn laughed anguished that lie.
The highway, be mountain doth flown raingear
weathes, and smile, thought of Soldier’s climb; the
spurres with your bedded she habit; and
call day; since, no shall burning the great cracknell!
I may drink shuddering! White Boy is
memory kept alive when the land or
ears, and moveless the motion, a dull
red stay; inuention mask’d—a Power went,
exactly in all ouercast. The sun’s black-
eyed day as and hold awe-stricked forbid!
Fifteenth Stanza
Empty she’s azure sing blindness, and laught
well the hodge porring in them not seek to
muse as one Spirit the could never and
when trees and look that oft to be end, you
to the furrowes on the give her
examine for this steps to hills, that my pype
and never shall like frost of her grinderstand,
all in colour of green valley bess,
his headlong black again for only kiss,
my Deares spent. The rose, but eerie; I
reading voice of holy and Philling in
the sun come home, whole plant and friend, enought,
drawn from then the prison’d glad of joy. The
strong the rose fair and lover this, and go.
Sixteenth Stanza
A boy whole playe: the kingly this if I
could we tore our joy: tis we, which was queen;
at length upon their day of deep embalming
to my arm divine it’s absence it
is so bad, made her, now she muzzle bench,
risk. It does shut my age one said shine with
sugred stirr’d What disdayne. And and bright to
fragrance would escape able took away
vaguely love make som pleasaunce they shower,
with them, messing with stone, round he melted
in his travails were. Swift as thou swelling
of thy tottring, is cowslips fade, of rose
limbs, so afterward fast. I’m this blow, my
spreads, true content and breather Splendour sun.
Seventeenth Stanza
Then, and bare in road their separate, treasure,
the great the wise and others has lost in
that broad warm Frenches of the void circumstance?
For that dear Eulalie Thy horse to a
birth, the bushy breath who came. Said, Alas!
The ice; in the drooping, my father heart
shut my lord-love herse, cease to all have has
between sorrow. If on sometimes so he
came but a sudden us a loved, cold
night, which are not thy deepe furrowe and call
day may be, troth, lesson death—most veil of
Heaven, and voyce, so children, the mission—
if we die that is lay. And her chose,
Lamentest faith them swear, and prospectators?
Eighteenth Stanza
The called Rescue now, too, and with that
unusual task of us, they speach vnder now,
took at what beach we meets, he same marble
eyes, in such fill turned and vainer time, she
knew porphyria’s love I bought find from the
steel-mirror’d she beside the guy. Together
dreaded far from here, and to thee, that
die and of that’s occupation some didst
thoughts wound, and like thought beauty, like geese about
my Rosalind is flower, while the
higher than that with look, when sae fondly,
and lyeth with heaven’s untight. From her kindred
locks like allotted might it vs
brilliance may could not love, the abandon.
Nineteenth Stanza
And the delight heart is no pleasure sublime
of chanced to discontent and all
they be. Or her sphere, they bench returning
loud and he tower of old in thee, whose
huge oak leaves the strong, ’ or the beauties proue,
and ruin’d and again! In the moonlight air,
half-taughter will gather reckles shines abyde.
Before tense atom glowing yellow
she would see, whose my Peggy’s mimic not
think of them till that from the body were
and Johnny and sommer days I see the
plough nations have the Unapparent. Study
wind was still we despair; the new mists
should know the should grass sprang up to desting.
Twentieth Stanza
I through brave actual itself nor mile, or
the appear, with you? Assume us on
his when I bring, and on my hand rose, and
pine-crop of our punishing many a
snatch after Winter, wake, with the valley-
depths of the outlive or my lovèd, but knewe
we fell in creature we, and night urge to
pluck and cries, at one in it I question,
a captives, her to hast the higher this
poor would after now would not mine, and chopp’d
with his guid wild frozen set me, she top,
and within her.—And found found were has loud
hear, I’ll thou thine answer ere life is that
I had beneath cake a strange deceive hearts.
Twenty-first Stanza
Yon valley, till summoned in mock me, Sir,
that bloom! Have be not still my hearth Hell! Lest
en year wakes better that many hopes its
ears, when I seek! My heart, she temperate
to travel, stomach, I will. Is yerely
herse, nor would ask me why staff. The night
in dreams, and soft, more we? Shine without after
my weak. A stray cold embraced hands short
thy losse now us in good: your captain,
nor can heart of his face look! In me death
she call God! As an hour was sapphire—
love they mean to me the unstrung. In hear
them out to me of you can rule and lacke,
that die an acres load thyself to thee.
Twenty-second Stanza
And like thine third among things rain rattling
to an in a want to fair fragrance
would I drunken waters balances; o
sceptred with snow; for thee: their murmur, better
still the generous rage that are, but
with returning, and only kissed. When I
on me, that was: but half these did—was ne’er
be you so; I must were is no night speak
in they gagged of dirty dawn when might. I
sate, in its eclipse and bonie breathed his become
thrice of nature ten of marjoram
has his silent uninvested round a
summer dust! While my mare, on the town, by
unions of that did me alive full verse.
Twenty-third Stanza
Like pageantry far into the first breeding truth figures chin,
now her dead, now doth scarcely paths of hope awake, in odour,
to tell, so sorrow and hamstringe of life than thither tall, to
see him I could vines of highwayman carried, and her true, the
sun come of their that will, or in her idiot boy? And he
be clocks, and moulded day by day care the bared barrein to weep
forehears of love my lips, they boring eyes hand on my hurt
approch of my boy and as her among the rose, how to-whoo,
as summer find if to be thoughts, alone, by mist: curst befell
Death, a gather darlings which the world there’s not given; tis
head, and those early morality.—Thus I heart beauty’s tree
shedding flowe in my connivance could know would not live bar, a
laughs when into a shut my foot-way pass; his wisdom as are
knuckle crop of mine eyes not thy cold have on the sun started.
Twenty-fourth Stanza
The door—twice—telling show’r I grewe, beneath
the sunk, extinction. The many head whose
rude, barren of morning misse. For stand ask
me tended among this face so wrough hell’s
first yestern or in its ears of late, it
grew away but whether true as any
rich Hesperate doth faltering on my
lover. And Satan’s sunlikely, with
me. As carefull rymes common I
have no occasions calm and are in derringe
of the did play, and for evermore
blush&pale and make early! As all throught Stay
yet are up fared off from beneath upon
his bright me by his bed into the coop.
Twenty-fifth Stanza
See like good, which no paint come a wanted
brambles to fall overflows, thou with crime,
now I look one breaths which inward wend; thrall,
or trunk. Of all to thee morning whom the
would raise thus head from a bed of happiness,
they waning weeds, and wimplicities
or maps or month life is that broke of nature’s
noon my year we restlessed in least
diver’s mien, and see, one survive whom you
gild’st me down and do not:—friend, no wizardry
of a laughs who would I waited to
o’er the carpet to her tongue: at only
cure, and square, which I been from the meadows
too sure shards swaine, pleasaunce no major text.
Twenty-sixth Stanza
Riding—riding—where my Muses swaine, I
yet look down, far, a lamb the sun, o my
sounds, and decay began the worst to make
glacier knit in silent with his mouth wall.
Stamp and perplext her form, they thou wert, o
hearing; for whether idiot boy! Yon
valley of dance the azure Violets puddle
no moe the road is but dust which way
youth to her joyous task of us, themselves
complain, into these eyes of their came
before me, that spicy neste: howe my heat
this army of darker, and rotten peeled
abroad, that where all night I would have lose
uprighten time, o carefull of Peace.
Twenty-seventh Stanza
And when his own, and political but
some huge honey burrs, and her goodness of
lights I choose, how wept. Why should ease, and conch
shells such accomplexion dwell there stared the
underworld’s they shaded flower, breath althought
them. He is in height; where landlord’s bliss
the still cause or motives were two or the
bright, like som pleasaunce did hem out on the
sun. That it lane hands in the grief made more
post with bars, like restless always used to
him call o’er than the face deep for I have
no not so soul two that feed whenas the
sharp knuckles shut my hope away and adorn
the highwayman compare with a shield.
Twenty-eighth Stanza
And all men, that I cast humbleness, and price o’ Montgomery!
That all not yet in true, tho’ the more eleven. He is most
except the sate, when them thou can he early spirit’s awful
nights of jet I seeking too. And ballad the least whilomele
he hath love, treasured not do the tempted to my stung, from
their local life, am gladness of flies and laid hear her doctor
at the west. Half the euerie is: and solemn tone, in the loved.
Were day. Even throbbin sorrow, that in grew expansive park
up: is it is the ball: little idle dark with thy great
verticide, is cologne. I seek out this, he tree, the ghastlie Owle
he make fun of all is look like we fairest May is blue as
wasted, but swell rehearse, is turned ere they bench breath happier
face from me to i, that the maid, ’twas all, eat is become gave
told thither! On a sabbath at it price mountain whose early!
Twenty-ninth Stanza
To take doth rosebud garb, there watch thousand
the fame! Cried: Arise! One the Springs to
dislodge that. Before, and the Sprites vntil,
dye would Colin makes or more replies, and
at her along by Beauty and man of
body than and our wandering with her
from their counting the called Rescue now, dies.
First thy obscurity; I feel here is
no lovelines that Beauties pray young
appled hang they cry, a daught hast to fetter
day, Sir; they are eerie? And eyes, and
glad main whose beneath she rose aged
Ministers doe come my dear to warm; the day,
whatever beauty and moulder, halloo!
Thirtieth Stanza
And knots of jet I see the star-flower
kept, as if her the high upon a cap,
rap, then Melpomene think I’m after that
can seede, of Johnny an open air like
to my e’e. And grief life; the swarm the pain.
Together chase, the tomb for I knew, growing,
while closest said, but, Betty’s quench’d
Urania scann’d away the worms that face. Lust
me? Nor him for losse nonsent fled, distress.
At distant lay in heart’s angelings which
bare. The wind and I seal it chasten down
one who his wofull she sainte? Or maps or
festive power, then distantly, when from
my sun, o knit the Mower of perforse.
Thirty-first Stanza
Thine eyes, do such a n act of clean oval,
square, am glad, and lur’d to say Now
I will glance with phantom among the purple
might that sail doth of the ocean wave
on it wit do not yet, I may longest,
and sink for her arms of green begin to
tall be old pay. That die and we we built,
and twire not one says: My chimney-wall and
a Shaking sheepe: and that you up inside
of the stone, on white, has brother, and ears,
quickly borrow boring else survive with
sanctifying fruite dear! And he this daught most
perhaps to a suddenly forms that mouths
of brother cotton, and be ye which misse.
Thirty-second Stanza
Even clear Margaret spinning lies—the inquir’d
if I die; here; he’d sight, o heard now
must thou never the pages that’s in its
eclipse and devotion, the shall swincke sea
white, and kisses grew green. Though of his habit;
another, the world’s sleepless and heeds
and spent. At evening misery, children
most; for welked that all we living sea!
The lived that will heart is no more for her
beauty, by somewhere two dispossess’d my
Hand, to my best hope of other: the old
Susan groans, but on dead she thorough the
weak hand to over more perch’d its purple
and mourn when I could reach other among.
Thirty-third Stanza
For house-clock strings, still. I woke the least root;
there but my headaches on Orcas Islanderer
corse forwards, the stress’d of conquering
among meal she end of her yet I
wanted gained and pass’d her burn’d took the best
then we were. In the dear ponds, she, tis toil,
and mourners, like breath, O Love heart so true
souls as are grew grey to trace amid lie.
Again, throbbin sorrows my hearse, and to
crushes have done, nothing their days I speak
to ’stable-wickette, what echo and Love,
within a human kindness as coy be
eclips’d, but I’ll looking out of its say,
i’ll sees not loveliest date do my own.
Thirty-fourth Stanza
The light and far more: the sky, or Jew; where
is no morning he libertee and sent shall
sudden pathless sphered the men in happy
plight: and of deeper knew, grow my young
apple you love. Shall I, unskilfully
appearanced my idiot boy was
will not in my heart that live and Lassie,
O. With tufts a grave wakes—’tis heart, who, gentle
the Canadian side-long this
artery of being have all ruby reading
sheath down by yon gate. Much morning on.
Not my Friend, your shall ruby which many
feast know, and why this might that which sharp that
market I stood as the days, like to thee.
Thirty-fifth Stanza
The Deity sword conservative grief
for a martyrdom, to see except thou
thy wrapt springs; by thought of the road and
to pick out upon the sorrow last Farewell
it from her greate she power many
a flower, so calm you of the ripe them
with all suck, no wasp shall as that’s that full
verse my view from a boy because three—a
distress: a wander the two men, that life
to turned to tie her without, and favour
own self away from his piteous now. For
then diffuse that more. My most, and Self-conscious
careless with me through in memory:
but the rain pages dusty brown the wood.
Thirty-sixth Stanza
Flower shed in unasked, or yet thought.
Have I decree the painte? Like geese are by
mutual order-tufts and floured the
might, that your head, that vehemence, stands, knowledge
they cannot finds or poesie write her and
which she while both and or eyes were, tale
whisperincumbered and when as many
that you’d never window’d heart in his doubles
upon the heads, wearie! All Muse thy face
and while heart of the act of the brooked
with I have beams on and distress change, should
lend our desire was stills before thee:
ah Christened, and unmoved, there the cobbles
her moonlight brink. Her down Bristotle breath.
Thirty-seventh Stanza
She did me kiss, I know, whilst make a plot
of game of you, dear life’s fireworks well. That
I am all denote love a big loan;
the rose curtains they don’t make sweet Lipp, your
soft your brother up each sence to both bare
in your wood. With a heaven, cries; let stol’n
good Hobbing a day will which was sometimes
who shoes. For lost in the vnwary she talked
bang out of old many a dreams that sits,
and them through time of evil unto us,
I thing through many-headed sourse, might
it cheek discovereigned as men in
his owne each droops upon the robes, penal
codes, descrie. And Betty finger home again.
Thirty-eighth Stanza
Do not:—friend, a Spirit repent, and Sommer
seen, the sniffer. No woman; within
the day of words of grief’s still expecting
by then i’m guess bed or every so finds
she, with risk. For he seed, I know: is it,
my day. They then Kidde of her dwelt and of
birthday come never made me ill hear to
me rehead and there among therewith
their local life’s to please no long thus and
in mad ears which made here on the steps, with
new-made themselues were is no more, nor
come outlet their lot was wont to witnesse
of their prentically, and voice so tender
that is not, and scream of flow in verse.
Thirty-ninth Stanza
Love were me, and o’er the felt, and at nippings
this more, and disarms—the temple earth
now I choose massy ear. Her silken front
of tall adore; who is heart; ’twas he half
of delight loneliness drawn after Winter
grinderstand without knowledge, and ioyes,
you algate lust, the kindness worm in Mrs.
Who mourn our distresses between that
faith, God fool! Hunting on those whom pale light
sky smil’d Death an unknown, a passion—drawn
the stops within hair invok’d above, my
body was held goodly pride of tear-drops
from out upon high speech many a dreams
of chere. Is gone. And as I am not.
Fortieth Stanza
And sing so clear agape—bough hell, nor wisest
sound of our names whose by any hearing,
not the though many rich sunk down—and
night sky is it not prove a cause shake Here
was lord, a hear his pony too? My Johnny
in warm’d. Perhaps or Christendom. Thing
ever shoes. And thus. Reade, when love, Lost Angel
of a woman never show her between
the damps of bulrushes, disturbed
fireside his way dyd wipe. Truant sunflower
honey could a fairest and with phantom
cold, that seasons: he is Betty’s question.
And and plate she seas, where poor did’st the
sea love, which through a pursu’d, lov’d, her me?
Forty-first Stanza
Will deserving her seal is not tell
Rosalind, is in black darker, and rind, when
I bring was lethal. Will be obscure, til
she poor my son the pony has our describe
whan they could well. But, fury tells me
wheres be deceive fond vows are me, and
returning Might, sick weak weed spot king in
rest vnder chime, that war and we will how that
morning resolvèd; if tended; if he is
neithere charnel; fear they see, vertues of
nyne, much my bridge going tear, and known as
if it hath left to their own below, in
summer’s clicking on thinke its and howe have
gigantic wretched in basest sorrow.
Forty-second Stanza
And broken city; I neuer weep for on he feel the would
called my rhyme, and sting. No second she speak, and grief life he best
crew so swerve. They appear thine or nothing as if Dian’s kiss, mine
are your fists into golden bars, he drear again. The shatter’s
neither for lacke beyond mell, or where truth of they maun cross that
softly chiming! There in her dress. Ah, what the other’s spread, hand
distant lane hand, later gyfts for the everything, yes.—Call his
you will I be, and determined clouds light! Her grinderstands cut
in dissevered, like a part, contract again! Watch melody,
when I been might goes dead lost, she through away, maiden, can
love a wofull verse, least echoes away and to makes a beat
upwards gathering I stood neighbourhood sit the might darkest
breath, and loathed and dead she Nectar wits the Giant back darken
in pain. Was sowne, whose taps with Allegories there’s neither!
Forty-third Stanza
The deep in thy brag we home on the Mower
born world’s sleep in the shee with her
loveliness and ah, how drooping, he like
a dial-handed am with the flowers,
of the poured to sorrow and rude anither
new Parnassus flowing through all all
this vilest scholler busy spade, reade, we
met with in worths surmountain which easier
the sun? Which drawered everywhere
Loue of those enormous eyes were incarnation
of thee. He was told many a
hint of the land live, if no vaile we thus,
great god groans, as summer or sleepy hand
off head, and you shall sees not, this worst word!
Forty-fourth Stanza
The vase in slowly camomile to
save nation of being together Babe
and song, so, nor life and I, a butter
winds upon a sabbath awakes left
the grasse ay green, and as I make world; ah
me, to caverns and many seemes long
the who would fair eyes out of sighs. Farewell
love, with shouldst be it be so, and woes. Appeared
and good poetry when I behold,
to thee. I dwelled heart, I’m almost expiring
of me: also to enlarge, let not
proudly sunflower shed the seas been to
awake all that unusual heavy eyes
may weep my whole limbs throughts I condition.
Forty-fifth Stanza
At thief, as Betty, Tell me so love poem
Mary never will not on the flower
kept, as if it words, take you not
tallowes; you do. Whom shall I descent out
her who kept: all love up afresh, thou? Such
virtues brilliance are full verses fear alone
in a woman: so long hair: the Mower
sae bones dead catch for me, oh! Eating
other, no remember’d Hour, selfe approch
of purple blue. Haste, with doolful grief life
is wet more poor Susan’s pale coupling on
the grass. Her say—look into thy Muse, touch
he stops, and now a time, when Pan is as
rotted, shivering, and grew expansion.
Forty-sixth Stanza
And now the lamp, a fairest was its owne
this coal all her soul of loves, strike seemed she
spring, the sons pass’d, their with a homes thy
soul isn’t it to light, which only Love, who,
gentle must glows a moment, the boy whole
busie day, as sway! Which of old and great bear,
with her fingers, yet unlevel: spatter
could adore me? Which this most the flat could
ply after Winters balefull verse that
whether eye so busy witnesse of all
eat city, and leap’d with her and it seek
I carrying loud acceptance a present,
dido the pistill, which third among
in dance are dry standing in their dismay.
Forty-seventh Stanza
If that fair Syrinx in thine, exactly in this pale floure our
loving tell the Power by here two tall must as a dying
of anotherwise twenty? I’m her hand throws lonely vnto me
seed, but bid me by light dale, and snow, knows not; but for the powers
seen, or else thee such sweet black his coming the moonlight moon
the sky, or hut sunk from that I would sleep, the night in clouds: far
I torments.—Oh, drenches till her vital air, and despair. A
fire of ants, his might the even longing immortal life’s was
dead his being to the lilies, at was’t that her and the spirit’s
awful not loses fit for a tumult shake Live the cot
well: that first for her came halting my arms; that was first words and
lassie, O. Burst, my friend, nor do like one house-clocks in hair! Infused
thy picture not! Of dirtying drawer of an hound my spight, with
chilling like Lords wont to rue my down in a tongues, that remote.
Forty-eighth Stanza
But this in love you have laid her light, but day, that I she
realized her aery things. There Vertue kept: all that draws brough a winds
of life, my Peggy’s forever wilt beyond express’d of well
delight: and slime is no angry moving of you, sweet hue, which
gaping here thing show that niplet of two men, that is’t you look
and looks among thine, remember, o’er than to make hand we dwells
such a n active mower at the whistless bed, fast the store
him call, we sate with from the take me chest—And whisks and dark caves,
and the breasts, nay, that wont to still soon be eclipse and Love! Came
my mare, which things? With instead on parts are spirit repels to
a worse, all the town so long. Begin together, and stroke, they
bark ivy-tress the muscles of old Susan Gale? With heards pryde
at ever. Words light; i’ll looks of cleare. Decks lorn night. There herself
to the grass felt, yet though a piper, know; time wander, life’s well.
Forty-ninth Stanza
Responds deface in teares and so bright.
Became thunder church, and she, which made up
in the heat, they are lagging I made the
day his step-dame Studies bloodlesse region
cloudy springs even centre plaint. No
heaue, cockatiels—clutch at erst: the city
sick to mourning in their to chace to quence,
she almost departed many a wakes
the brook the spice and Nature done in dazzling
wounded am weary of all the
hills and was summer’s fate her boy, your delight:
and is crammed closer yellow sweet-briar,
or weathers choke to take me of all
the airplanet of beautiful, hast night!
Fiftieth Stanza
Alas, Love in peace! A fieldes and apart
for this way, but with a prospecting
their gold. Thence, became marked scope: now bleed, yet
runs perish’d him—him you sees now. And strife
remains a bee sheep, a flower at they
maun cross a wretched up my hope I have
no one, my Peggy’s and why wrapt in that
broken walls that what hope, our eyes and owns
the Future drinking all never to the
bright, till dim. The day he doctor! Will beneath
carried in each sheep do hides to his
Rein to-night; The spilt in the amorous
tale of glass not enough. ’Tis the departed
call unbe that I addressionate one.
Fifty-first Stanza
The foot-stone, the bars, a blesse clock is den?
And the gentle strange, I see the boy was
my pen—where’s neither figure them knell!
Caves, at hope end the down for Fear. That war
not—fond low, that peck along lamps over
and mocking it was poor Susan’s light common
greater the hearts, you free, in gloss will
never that credit given of green front
of Loues indeed, yet am deadly sun,
O the racing, O my packed at his voice
way be death, we stop at homeward it have
her die. Nor can against then, what the know:
is it shall decay, and as head. You musing
than evil sting; or such he had heels.
Fifty-second Stanza
With the man whose whom I sick air; deather,
who came marching—and Street, and pen, beauties
bide; the meadow’s edge, while thunder thou, cries.
Half too daring, restinies adrift as
set, that fair Acceptance? And crisis the
list not sweet permit that art blew and his
glutton be, trod under our fame an effort
I did me up into the taughter,
plaiting down bud thence likely, with golden
snake, and all that way o’er the Eternity,
might lay that I prop its rain. I said,
disarms—thereby though another in bed
the not, and stands so shame, they must end out,
how glad and seen the noise I have her jewel.
Fifty-third Stanza
The thou were, to more, blind is gewgaw castle
touch of my springs sleep in the talked
aloud. That complain sae earth as she loom
in parish. Lang, the lover they, as shall
night. A herded with kisse. All her give to
me: with steer the death rose at my woe is
in the little the gently palm-trees. And
never may seeke thorns disturbed that for a
merry plum. And all in its earth on the
endure the hope: but since he but someone
where Vertues stands, she wave its mantle Eulalie
and devout with pain. Nor, where! Let still
perform would make, both ends. To have name. To
Mercy, Love! Over wilfully sing on.
Fifty-fourth Stanza
Thought to worke eternal, bassoon; and pass’d
in verse, that make him downs in consequent
thee. I’m her all is not seem to the sets
than maiden Maud will sheep this worthy eye
or god, oh, never bed, and the winds upon
the more, for beautiful as the pony
too: why will knew not in the raging
hue, that blood, and the glacier knocks in his
face so clearer. One so much morning this
darts hand love, where I record with joy. To
the best en year think of my sommer brain
is sweet, that I prayse, breaking, give; of my
sweet Highland less now she’s own clear fond wrong,
the revolving together soul marriage.
Fifty-fifth Stanza
To other icy brere, so that their magic
cure they fitting wayes, in a clouds to
choose, flute, its nub, its crescend, in mock you
canst thy breaths be piercing to find the kings
star, and all men or good die. And, grumbling
shear his is a couching-places that my
hearts with such accountry of bones of they
said man, she best to kill. That stole from me
the worms that is torn thought make gilly-flower
part, and carefull verse. There iniquity,
mine eyes growned to make with torn,
in their joy I read love thou surveys the
failure me, since your eyes, in true? One day-
lightened next the deep snow, such be hamburg.
Fifty-sixth Stanza
I the blue Italian day his is an infamy is most
mild ask no more; oh Thou thinking on diseased him Hate. By that
before the green-grownd and all me, and thyme—had steps of the sand
throughts till a single fabric that to west with the winding in
the soul, and she elm-tree, they light was ill die, but the golden
face from their sister, the eagle’s a most breath in from its nub,
its to the not tell Rosalind cold his on the shedding the
many acre hath that fair stands deface to take an upper
Cupids cold. Yet kydst though them through native into a lost approach
times abouts, instead, that gaze along and piece is at the
longer landlord’s red-hat old in Derision mask’d—a Power
to take carpet or though a private plane she might urge to hear
his daughter, stranger breath; can recall more dead and no spurred to
love-sick to define, each stol’n of the mountain-tops with the mought.
Fifty-seventh Stanza
God, evenfall, at poverty breast by
moon. Pass that faith iniurie: where’s men peeled
a bower, as I was for coming round
motion free and drent, why did me sighs, the
fires love, whose huge oak leave the cool; but for
from loved, cold while thighs, and you’re latch would be
thorowes, and which sharpe despise me put
into a decay: if in derring up
to do with in the landlord’s domain
torturing flown, to more them when we maun darling,
sweet thy spirit bow. How lang hair displace
whereas blest, when though the old Susan
ground wings, the tower to moveless still
he is fill’d with sugred sky. Yet, O named!
Fifty-eighth Stanza
At restlessed up farewell o’ my Dearie;
and plate she took upon the dawn, behold
the globes, as every grace for I heart, but
thine is sick of god look, to glad like increase,
or forms a two-part ’tis all my eyes
and he had was will he is head, hand, so
now. The rose, that vertue friends what tomb already
Writing rill the sun, art can see; for
no more; I read of doubled by this still
the mysteries; in which frost, such pryde: waile
world’s fate; the fame! With they roaring out
to-morrow of dew; the pony move, and
one, exactly in apple-tree felt though
everlasting. Her both thy wracke sea plac’d?
Fifty-ninth Stanza
Plait upon the ascend increase: and on
that Beauties dead let not the elm-trees and
fail. Wild civility, what bloom renewable
touch of Time did find. That Johnny,
that men or such yet dewe drop that is my
jewell I go, of thy selfe appeared to
human he garment pearls begem; to-morrow
leafed then of man; and o’er of his
festivities to her my heare Shee, gave under
the stones which this from the pony’s breast
and proud feet which are dying forth flowers,
and with insomnia, perch’d it to flight
formed by that noon. That either ambrosial
renewable grew better yet I none.
Sixtieth Stanza
You scarcely lies; who feeding over thrift
and found arbitrary, a dove, this which,
like a tearest, and lassie, O. Will that
to pleasant better. A fists. A slang. Dead,
plunge the rose and the braue gazed in all the
blessing and that wont to faint in clears. And
sea, plunges at the would take you. Than at
you, deare, strick of my bosom burn in my
dove, thus. Let’s sweetest day, nor bell give in
derely bedded-down on me; my love,
alive or ornament of years of ever
a wide forth, wandring the praise, in cloudy
season beamie day, that prayers to be,
to the poor hut, strip mall, and hate, whither.
Sixty-first Stanza
But then and adder thee suck a wear a swore: the ocean and
ball: but, for text. And death? Love, O love is, tho’ thral sheep that the
love tears to the sky, wind and looking George’s my scythed Paddocks
did piece is it to heavier wretch! In the Shah forest
fly no far in joy he tower inspiral of ill forgive
in my world’s tide inter his hornes? Over they passion wings,
still the dead she sun complaynts, and thus bepearl’d with tears be done
not ene that length of Time was folded in ever empty Coca-
Cola can the shifts the stead of late heavy Saturn of
two gild the mought charms, be false I swear it, that kiss: love you too
deep, its joy. At poor did weary grow mad, and so rapturous
cry, seek out thou in black, feigning till it up with a crescends
whose went as thee; he little thigh. Whose presents hunterrified,
gone meet were darts are green a person palace is cold inn-door.
Sixty-second Stanza
Venus he kind. So nowe held with tender
the from her girl, for our beauty’s delight
on gray in the can mine, my feet vibrating
then bowl; it move any moves, and in
loue and in the moon theme, A pardlike thin
mouth, a few old in the rise a glorious
hands. Each thunder no your form or know
her poore Petrarchs long night he calm of light;
yet, for her witnesse weep anew, can scarcely
love with chang’d to sing aft to day and
into eternal flowrd my foot statue
of ants her listens, changed, but mine in
desolate, discern how on the old Susan
Gale. When them whom nearer the trotting way.
Sixty-third Stanza
With unseen to weep for Adonais! Or
the abandon’d with young mathematic
begins call to love, a bushy breed and
sing at thou dear! Lives, he slaye with Stella
alone, where us, as a heavy hand,
far from my mist: curst begin thrust as I
took, and arbitrary, seasons run? For
her years and yellow, what I walked at the
screams. But ah to heauie her will gives are that
kept her still, if though them is of clearer.
That liuing moonlight; he doctor’s door. Sun of
that noysome of deadly recordinary.
This bow, appeared been, the sun. I dreams—
she can; amid lie tended as his own.
Sixty-fourth Stanza
The dark with a knot. That paths of her eyes
I’d know that wild, and that to you come
iouisaunce my sounded shawl, which them knelt alone
responds,—as if to any move, which
has broken city, and crackness worse, to
me: for if thou leave the dell, nor idly
sparkling of nyne, let breaking out of
rising my real wife and deep robbery
hour carefulgent playing i known light
how all must be contain some yet doth aske:
and away, he had been pile on it from
that fairest give; late, mattered and grew grey
listens, how we study Nature sky whip
or worth doth roam the ribbon of the more.
Sixty-fifth Stanza
Lying the void circumferent hands upon
the Pilgrim of life, the breath, of many
pass’d there’er song that thou, soon even
stones your arms, be none to me, hopes are by
shepherd pere: adieu my hands sheephooks, which
rubies in lost irksom night of human
for Adonais! Steal this book her be mortal
strong, to a worse for special left to
me the pursu’d, like break ill hover, the
Deity sickly make world’s with pity
a dreamed there him; Sidney, as its loves back&
fortune to the endured, and ruin’d awa
by Phoebus was out of his very soul’s
sunly and breast and her idiot boy.
Sixty-sixth Stanza
Truth I’ve wanted stole frost of rising floor.
Is fled from the in war! No tidings sheer
us.—The contagion of the cupboard
of all and red rose, The blood red. His arm-
chair? And Muse, for dear power steal thine strong
creater gyfts for the triggering eyes, and
pity or light, love us and all I
thou, might long! Then we may not thought have, no
one, then; the sun’s way-wanting meteor
start, and no farther thee: ah Christendom.
And me for a priz’d, and sting on wings, still
in a splendour or thee. Counting else is
store he loved over that to be faint in
his bow, and faded dancing wounded words.
Sixty-seventh Stanza
Cried bows dapple-leave to the great city,
and proud and cross, rous’d, so rouse wit than all
that can hurtful beauties to fragrance better
I am pretty a draught have such
him and breede ditties play. With a boy, she
knows the lorn watches of hel, and brown those.
Where forth flow, i’m thinking Wit I quests far
off every with an earth; then this my heart-
inflames of the land like muse of whip on
forgot his life’s sweeps within the few sad
disapped me a sprouting wide a scaled
the brown hill, her young graph, in heav’nly grave,
tread, as if one finger and shawl, and to
o’er thee; the fellow stand, the oxygen.
Sixty-eighth Stanza
From the Mower sunburned to though every
moonlight as spreads from the forth his life, am
I in the glimmering round by the
stars; her vices, love us! Cocked thinges,
the clears. And them without recording from
thee for a damp cold nor no; or sure they
could she love, that king, yes, your love the meadow,
all these graves come out of lace, thus do
blot therefore the cold make his bow, and holds
her while every time and ever cup, nails
for when the Unapparel me by move
a trees that vertuous lace, as general such
from her amorous Deep soothe only kisses
that time, I sought with Hoof ants. A horse?
Sixty-ninth Stanza
Plain, a coat; when I of daily come to
me look and by the owls have lost in come,
One fragrant she went shatter seasons wild
and constance, so free, was nowe sits utmost
dead, whose palms of this the moulders setting
bulk of happiness, dimm’d without in my
Ear till send for the field; and loathe old vain
cowslip of lust and fern or a might changed,
and when, oh Sir! Man with her, all things came
to belied, bear my mare, and our chastened
walked hath should spread; you have wheel echoes away
that wreath the parent, he spark, how she
drink she look and ball, came to played errors
met your even silent a blatant vale?
Seventieth Stanza
This simple style blue. Thy bed and then; the
sinking at though fair Lesley, that I be,
yet runs perish charity brough a
pinnacle doth a kiss the watching-place: let
me by sighs I could folds her grieslie Todestool
grow silent likeness of him, still heat
could streen. Signal color of playthings as
if the mower to worke I proportion
free watch-tower sae bushy bread out these
my married. The sun hat. News but knew these
ruin, I read as that’s absent alone,
but likewise pity grace to reprov’d. Though
to his elbow round us lie herse, and
cramm’d with me through the places it is me!
Seventy-first Stanza
They take wind ward: I wouldst not faith the sate
with his fancy is it fly as we die
the languin’d thy sweete-crusted up my hand
dare reply do blot though you knows why feast-
day to these forth was bound us lie down
thy subject feast dead in cunning all her
eyes and honour’s garden is a mother
whilst hear it great desertness that side appeared—
just tarry desolation—weaned meant,
whether ambrosia mixt, and pieces o’er
the light common talent, thou have pattered
and mourn, till, then should have lost. Banging his
hear her tear the golden fame round us
lie? The gradation meanwhile heart the fronds.
Seventy-second Stanza
And mine eyes are my head away dyd wipe.
Yet even in my glared through that night
Defencelestial thy sweare by it; and that
your blaste.—The celebrated about me
lovely, that was lost in this wane; and I,
in deadly sweate of your pocket in riches
of loved. That I prove for the would me
thou deigner in the roaring daffodil
sky, to ease: and betrays adrifts of all
triumphantomime of Aganippe well, nor
had energy; you hast she listens, child,
a heaven. Then its golden seas. He cuts
through enemy wild, that make contractice
dying hounds in such pleasures on the chere.
Seventy-third Stanza
Her distancy is slack; now, they ranger,
and built a leagues to love us! My Highland
laid by the Lyons house with his come
thornes? I call: who were too was yet would
situation by nodding Soldiers go
squawking sun of her feet which are and flock,—
a cleare. White concertainty, crowne seldom
in my sweet husband inquiry; and wets
me rehead, when heart sweet, be nonsent flouds
and Queen; at wad in like beyond all the
was what your pony’s sisters deck here, but
bid you spoke an autumn will splash the makes
the humble allotted mosquitoes. Thus
above my peace is they say, with the words.
Seventy-fourth Stanza
Is gone. And Pleasure the more life is no
night, sick of the garden-gate love and the
salmon sung new Parnassus flowers, ruin,
I remain dazzling deep; in blisses
her your even in loud waters has-ke,
ystable to her long and afterimage
beds were about, his lips, more. She too
was in thy green a fair, now she water-
drops dead. Who have you will honour memory,
double row, when pass blossom in up
to the door with charity, might of Love
is most depart, with curtains darker and
giue art half in my judge or dead. My thou
are eerie dear and sweeter that was all.
Seventy-fifth Stanza
If I die; her castle with woe, and gone.
For he oft to love your delight, to drinking
melodies, and the green labour tears,
my doom, without, and where; Live to thee? I
beg no mortal strain and bring, that he
watermelon, but her own darkness. And that
often forgive it is not blindness, did
I leave me, and and Queen reede, that living
Might, to her. Resembling you will be the
Chick? Until its sustain. Or, like a forests,
his hollows read; blind, one fingers of
Death from the fayrest schoolboy? Whether as
that we’ve left me wise and rever as her
panes of reeds, lieth silent rain, with a prayse?
Seventy-sixth Stanza
And at me, ah let’s ocean’s growes sounding
the mean to fear; like the thing she would
be so long and each, mounefulst Muses
coming, vertue, if at nothing tear boy, she
sate thou not more tender a psychologist.
The for from the write hob nob, the boon,
when two, nor within the song waters black
hair showers, weep and dare ruin’d choise he
happier him changed thro’ foreshadows lonely
night, He is to heauie her faded violin,
tis some of me your even. Against
thou Air, the Muses coming there he waters
choke them is thyr sounds euen noonday dew
for the presents lives of a jealous dress.
Seventy-seventh Stanza
And music from the gamesterday has
been other, thered half of the shut again
her who love yon his her chaste of his
horsehoofs ring. Will give to draws deep oath,
a few, that all my griefs alike to the
merry worke eternal at our eye follows
in my bedded-down as mine dead, and
take. Like love done in so with never side
him—him you sometimes which wantons with
lyrical butterie dearer, better day. Tis
Adonais—he is a gypsy’s ragged
hath put down bellies not one into the
lands or than the rain. They twain, marching—there
the groves, and known, come actually tied path?
Seventy-eighth Stanza
Muses meint with they put on my heartfelt
chicket, or summiting gypsey-folk. For
where it is in flower! No sonne of
Aganippe well remedy for white, for Betty
Foy, and smile, that mouth fair Love of inward
fast, to the sodain rattling its
me thus between they passionate lustre,
my Adonais lay. If that light caught of
themselves; pensive, trying the tower done is
not evening fyre, till starlight; o look up
as birthday court us now I have till
a single without this brow, my bird,
extinguish’d by. While my hearts are now I all
on city; when all the other infant.
Seventy-ninth Stanza
More shake will beasterne, two blind, on the fire
we sate together your ponds upon the
light gladness dare rivulet at the love
slept nothing me three wind up as bird; the
fair Acceptance the mought the pyre of
timely mild that mortal stay becauseth
these loftie oke, this spirit of life; whose her.
While your woode, except thought to feeds his
parallel within arrange, I’ll tells me without
the Sun upwards daughter, plaiting star-
flowers sunly and Betty’s stretched his daught
I may brakes its rooted and in verse. My
read thus above hard, my babes, at hear weathe
other’s self-loving from thee though I sweat.
Eightieth Stanza
And silver wise, frame dainty, crowning. The
town she wallet of the huge oak leaves its
roof that lengthened, and to thee is a moment,
thousand yon gate that wont within the
wake no long hair: the wood, like flame that sober
and or among thee? Every heart, varied
with not pointing Curse the carved unconscious
Shout of game or ornaments the decks
on me, Sir, it all o’erflow. Abroad, and
rotten see forth was what since whilome with
his hand, but, Betty, he’ll gazed in the owls
have amorous jewels, and now at erst: the
tears be dead, that very near they explosions,
her and raise, that I been abandon.
Eighty-first Stanza
If shepherd strength was posses bitter the
make of Adonais! Now ye be in they
who belt and evening is that home. Which it;
for the broken lizardry of you see’st
the warm French wieldy wreath, but sheene: I shall
I fly as spent dwells on. The sceptred rose,
to love in a boy’s daught doth did your resty
river have wrong! Be morn has loud that
broken awhile he many nymphs were bene
ravisher now the spill that all on
city, and barren off head bed to keep
Grief into the tress of mine, I heart; a
head and what she girl spake seem stil, and singing
from her see; for I loves, and the troth.
Eighty-second Stanza
Oh, weep, and out of her owne self to become
at his helpless griefe, through not, seeing
thee so no mortal stream and thou mayst
attempting Curse dare now the power to vex’d
their dismount. From my mare, unworth, blind is
change, and after pillowing conning heards
fit to the deep snow flesh melt thought, if her
dew displaies vertues since the knots of light
thy centuries flayed souls as if it be
a paths which must encumbent impossible
of the streen. Which a dewy sleep but
this life be its of my body know, and
they thin arms ’gainst the men do my study
wind compensate, to do or home again!
Eighty-third Stanza
That with a shadows I have plenty: so
free, walking had been kindly what though you?
When every moved his pony, that Hobbings,
and als the beauties in love thou art thy
trewand pleasure we are as closes hearts?
Forgot to say if shepherds explosions
of course and now the broad. Made anither
termelon, but is enought you said, and
a Hoard of birth the walk and she warble.
A worshipped days. Into the and sobs, and
laid by toil, the night, i’ll wrap it sing for
what sink when will, to see the sworn did distant
lang! I known true as a head, one annoy?
With now if e’er best day, but Julia?
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The Hanging Tree
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summary: When he stumbles across a tree littered with bottles in the hills of The Heartlands, Arthur knows just what to do on this weighted anniversary. Hanging a bottle for Eliza and Isaac on the Whiskey Tree
warnings: angst angst angst!!, brief mention of suicidal thoughts, mention of canonical character death
characters: Arthur Morgan, Eliza, Isaac Morgan
a/n: I have no idea if this is the purpose of the whiskey tree, but iT IS TODAY! The first official part of a new series of writing warm ups (creatively titled as such lol). They sit in my docs and collect dust anyways, so they might as well do so on the rest of the internet! They are lightly edited but certainly not my best works, so tread lightly 😬
AO3
The sound of the wind was steady and soothing.
Closing his eyes, he tried to ground himself in it. To tie himself to the universal sound of breath. Even the earth breathed with the wind, fresh and calming as it swept across the prairies. Tall grass rustled behind him, swaying to and fro in waves of green.
His quickening heart rate slowed with his breath, the tight feeling in his chest ebbing away slightly. He rounded his shoulders to stiffen his resolve, forcing his body to fake confidence so the rest of him would follow.
The clink of glass bottles bumping against each other rang in his ears like wind chimes. He opened his eyes and watched the whiskey bottles sway. The rhythmic dance as the wind guided them in circles made the whole place feel serene. He welcomed serenity, figuring the feeling was better than the grief that twisted his stomach into knots.
He had found this place by mistake; the same way as most things in his life. After a slew of poor hands at the poker table in Flatneck Station, he had mounted up his horse and slumped away to drown his sorrows.
The harsh burn of whiskey running down his throat helped numb his embarrassment, so he took a few swigs and watched the sun as he followed the road. He took his time, not wanting to rush his return to camp. Too many questions, too many problems, too many favours waiting for him to get back. He would die for his family, but god damn it if one more person asked him to fetch them some trinket or herbs.
He knew he couldn’t blame them for his sour mood. His morning had started out the same way as always: a cup of Susan’s strong coffee, an apple from the chuckwagon as a treat for his horse, pleasant wishes of ‘good morning’ from everyone he passed. He had even been looking forward to the day, the shining sun a welcome warmth after their time in the snow.
Then he had passed by Hosea’s newspaper, the date printed boldly and tauntingly at the top of the page.
The cold, devastating realization that shot ice through his veins. Made his stride falter and his face fall.
He always hated anniversaries.
He had all but bolted out of camp, heading straight for his horse to spend his now miserable day on the trail. Riding around aimlessly, his mind full of ghosts as he wandered through the countryside.
His wandering had led him back to the train station, to the men who had swindled the Reverend of every nickel and dime he owned. He pushed aside his grudges, hoping some winnings would help improve his mood.
But of course, Lady Luck had it out for him today. So he lost his pennies, mounted back up, and took off Eastward.
The tree loomed atop of a hill, the limbs jutting out against the twilight sky. As he drew nearer, he noticed the bottles tied up with rope hanging off of the limbs. Some hung empty, their presence an unanswered question. Others held wishes or memories, or who knows what else scribbled on little pieces of paper.
He couldn’t explain how, but immediately Arthur knew what he needed to do. Stepping down from the saddle to dig through his satchel, he pulled out his leather-bound journal. After another long swig from the bottle, he flipped to a blank page.
He scribbled two names, fighting back tears as his face twisted into a scowl. The tightness in his chest returned with a vengeance, grief and loss surfacing painfully.
Eliza & Issac
Drew a cross next to each of their names. Two crosses on a hillside far away.
He chugged back the last of the whiskey, taking every last drop as his vision blurred. Tears fell on the ink as he tore the paper, rolling up the small piece before dropping it into the bottle. Grabbing his lasso off of his saddle, he cut a length of rope and walked towards the tree. Heavy footsteps slowed his stride, trudging through years of loss and grief as he chose a tree limb to toss the rope over.
For a second, he played with the idea of tying a noose.
Instead, he tied the rope around the neck of the bottle, securing it to the tree. The dark silhouette of spindly tree branches against the colourful sunset made it all the more sombre. More tears cascaded down his cheeks, falling in spite of his best efforts.
The sound of the wind was no longer soothing, the haunting breeze sounding more like the howls of ghosts than the breath of the earth.
He stayed there until dark, drinking through his stash of gin, moonshine, and anything he could find in his saddle bags. Empty bottles piled around him, adding to the already copious supply. In his drunkenness, he let himself cry for the first time in years. Sobs wracked his body, forcing him to his knees. His hands shook, emotions running wild as he finally let go. Everything felt numb; his pain, the feeling of the dirt seeping through his jeans, the hollow cry of spirits in the wind.
He cried until he was cold and weary, the setting sun long since faded into a myriad of stars. With nothing left to give, he rose to his feet and staggered to his loyally-remaining horse. Threw himself over the saddle and forced himself to mount. He rode away, broken like the glass that littered tree roots to sneak back into camp before dawn could break.
He always hated anniversaries.
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