#supporting people into places they don't belong is unkind to the people they hurt

[7habits]

People want to tell you that no act of kindness is ever wasted; you'll never regret being kind.

Fine. Go ahead and be nice. -but do not mistake that for having to take bad treatment from oppressors. You are still entitled to stand up for yourself. You can still be skeptical of those with ill intent and insincere comments. Kind does not mean you must support those who do not deserve it.

People will trot this out when they want you to be a doormat, to roll over and take it. They'll say this when they want you to stop exercising your rights. You'll hear this when they get sick of you asserting yourself.

Helping another person is rewarding if they deserved your help. If you help someone gain power to wreak havoc on others, it's not rewarding and you will regret it. So no, you don't have to help people all the time.

tl;dr Some people are mean and will treat you or others terribly. You do not have to suffer it, and you do not have to be kind when it earns you grief.

#unkind #because i 100% regret giving people a chance #sometimes your instincts are right #you can also say no thank you #don't be bullied by people who want to say it's #supporting people into places they don't belong is unkind to the people they hurt #seek first to understand then to be understood

[windup-astro]

16 Personalities - Sayuki Malaguld

ESFJ (Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging)

As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses. ESFJs are people persons – they love people. They are warmly interested in others and have a special skill at bringing out the best in people. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves. ESFJs takes their responsibilities very seriously, and are very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy hands-on tasks and are extremely good at them. ESFJs are warm and energetic. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about. ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

<Take the Quiz Here!>

Tagged by: @earthlystar (Thanks <3)

Tagging: @phoebe-of-ivalice @seabound-dragoon @the-imperial-nuisance (I'm behind on this so if you already did this, apologies!)

Strengths and Weakness below the cut since this one was long.

ESFJ Strengths

Strong Practical Skills – ESFJs are excellent managers of day-to-day tasks and routine maintenance, and enjoy making sure that those who are close to them are well cared for.

Very Loyal – Valuing stability and security very highly, ESFJs are eager to preserve the status quo, which makes them extremely loyal and trustworthy partners and employees. ESFJs are true pillars of any groups they belong to – whether it is their family or a community club, people with this personality type can always be relied upon.

Sensitive and Warm – Helping to ensure that stability, ESFJ personalities seek harmony and care deeply about other people's feelings, being careful not to offend or hurt anybody. ESFJs are good team players.

Good at Connecting with Others – These qualities come together to make ESFJs social, comfortable and well-liked. ESFJ personalities have a strong need to "belong" and have no problem with small talk or following social cues in order to help them take an active role in their communities.

ESFJ Weaknesses

Worried About Their Social Status – ESFJs tend to be preoccupied with social status and influence, which can affect many decisions they make, potentially limiting their creativity and open-mindedness.

Inflexible – ESFJs place a lot of importance on what is socially acceptable and can be very cautious, even critical of anything unconventional or outside the mainstream. People with this personality type may also sometimes push their own beliefs too hard in an effort to establish them as mainstream.

Reluctant to Innovate or Improvise – Just as they can be critical of others' "unusual" behavior, ESFJs may also be unwilling to step out of their own comfort zones, usually for fear of being (or just appearing) different.

Vulnerable to Criticism – ESFJs are conflict-averse. They can become very defensive and hurt if someone, especially a person close to them, criticizes their habits, beliefs or traditions.

Often Too Needy – ESFJs need to hear and see a great deal of appreciation. If their efforts go unnoticed, people with the ESFJ personality type may start fishing for compliments in an attempt to get reassurance of how much they are valued.

Overly Selfless – ESFJs sometimes try to establish their value by giving excessive attention and affection to others which can feel smothering. Often in the process ESFJs neglect their own needs.

How ESFJs Show Others That They Care

Shows up consistently. Makes sure you’re comfortable and fed. Tells you stories. Listens to your struggles. Connects you to the people who can help you. Calls to tell you that they’re on their way to lend a hand, whether you want one or not. Harnesses the power of a community to envelop you. Reminds you that you’re never, ever alone.

#character quiz #thanks for tagging <3

[sweatblvvdtears]

All of this pleasing and trying to be good and kind to others but gained nothing back has made my headache stress pain to come quicker than it should , I truly felt being ignored a lot either irl and online . Almost wanting to quit from Tumblr for just thinking what did I do to deserved to have these and that (bad sides) . Truthfully it's hard for me to accept it . And it's true I'm suffered a lot because of their little unappreciated actions and unkind gestures from them . I'm also no longer that happy . All I feel is pain and sadness also lloneliness and anger . Mostly sad . Most of all people has made me believed that I don't deserved to have anyone in their life either via online and in real life . One stupid message I sent and none got replied will actually triggered the hell out of me . I don't even know what is wrong with it . I can't even explained it . They said it's because of mental disorder that I have : Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) , a little simple wrong ideas of them (people) can make the sufferer / patients to act / be in that way . They can't helped it . We don't like to be ignored . It's the main one of the many facts . It depresses and hurt the hell out of us . We don't like to be in some other things too . Not just that . We only prones to have black and white thinking no matter how much that we wanted it to be colorful or bright . You can't actually make us feel like we can be in the right color of the sides of black and white , not forever . You may try . But you can't helped much . I'm no longer can feel normal much . All I felt was sad and in pain also tensioned and unexplainable lonely also tend to be negative . It's been like that for lots years . I don't know how to fixed mine .

Even if you ever looked at my face irl , you will only gazing into something that is already dead . Something is just sad and hurt . Something else than normal . My sadness from the inside has made my face turned into ... Hurt . It's not just effected on the inside but OUTSIDE of me . What kind of proves that you wanted to see more ? My sadness had made my eyes to have dark circles staying more longer than anyone around me ever had . Even with lots of sleep , it doesn't fixed it . Even with meds . Remained unknown . Don't you feel weird about it ? I do . I am wondering too . You think I wanted it to be in this way ? I don't either . I don't want it too . I want to be normal and be like everyone else . They said , "Normality is the paved of road where you walked in a garden that is empty and nothing is grow . No flowers grows ." But how about my "normality" here ? Where do I belonged in all that places ? How about mine ? I can feel that I will die sooner . You don't meet me yet or even know me yet in real life here . How did you know that I'm doing well ? Was doing well ? I didn't . I'm doing poorly and badly in real life . Especially mentally health . I'm not happy . Did i mentioned that I was ended up by beaten up by someone irl few days ago in real life here by sticks ? No . But .. Now you know . I still have bruises for it . I don't think I will ended up be better for the next few months or another few years from now on . Tears will be the only subjects you will see a lot on here or when you see me in real life on somewhere else or in no where . I'm just praying to god that I won't kill myself and to give me support to myself and to stay strong than I should've . I've grown tired and in pain lots of times . I'm no longer feel in positive way much . I can't helped much on myself . I have lots of feelings that you don't know that I was having . It just repressing it all to me . i was having high pressured and tensions in silence . It can kill anyone who aren't used to be in pain and this high of stresses . Why I still can holding it all till now ? Because I've becoming used to it and I felt that I deserved all of this . It's a constant wars and battles .

#p #.txt #tw #about #vent #thought #confessions #irl thought