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#super carlin brothers
shawolsos · 1 year
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THEE best friend dynamic is
"You know it's literally a kids movie, right?"
And
*Has extensive theories and lore and headcanons about said movie*
Prove me wrong
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tigris-types · 1 year
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I think it's funny that the SuperCarlinBrother keep making Harry Potter "theory" videos that just au fanfics. They're just explaining their fanfic as theories.
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quodekash · 1 year
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okay there’s these guys on YouTube called super Carlin brothers (or scb) and they’re brothers (woahhh such a surprise) and they make theory videos (among other things but theories is there main thing) on Disney, Pixar, Harry Potter, Marvel, Star Wars, and Name of the Wind. And I’ve watched almost all of their videos and every single one of them is basically canon to me at this point
but there’s this one series they did a couple months back, What If Harry Potter was in Slytherin?, and it’s my favourite thing ever. it’s new canon in my mind basically.
(other than the fact that they ship harmione so for some reason they decided that Harry being in slytherin means Harry then gets with Hermione. And then to make up for it, Ron gets with Luna, for some reason. And near the end they couldn’t figure out who ginny would’ve ended up with, and they brainstormed putting her with Draco. So basically they took my three favourite ships and pulled them apart and mixed them around and I don’t appreciate it)
Anyway, they accidentally put so much drarry in it it’s outrageous, and I’ve written many rambles in my notes about the Drarryness in the series but have had no one to share it with cos no one would have a clue what I’m talking about cos it’s not canon (it appears the tumblr scb fandom is non existent which is just so great) and I’ve created fictional stories within their fictional version of a fictional universe but I have no one to share it with other than my one friend and I want to share it with heaps of people but I can’t cos, lemme say it one more time, no one would have a clue what I’m talking about
But yeah. Scb are great and they support the lgbtq+ community, but they never actually put the queer rep into their videos which sucks, cos it’s so clearly t h e r e but they don’t acknowledge it, and cMON J AND BEN HARRY AND HERMIONE ARE BASICALLY SIBLINGS SO SHIPPING THEM IS INCEST (no hate to harmione shippers I think you’re very nice I just personally (along with everyone I’ve spoken to) think they’re more like siblings and gosh men and women can be friends - and close friends at that - without it being romantic. I mean if you have some nice hard evidence for me and a calm tone, I will gladly have a good old fashioned friendly debate with you where we acknowledge each other’s thoughts and opinions without hating each other cos people argue too much, I am merely suggesting a friendly debate where we hear each other out and take the time to understand each other as human beings and to know that each other’s opinions aren’t completely illogical and not sprouting from misogyny or sexism or homophobia or anything like that. If you have reasons and I have reasons, I’d like to share mine and hear yours, without causing world war 3 because listening to others talk about something they’re passionate about is really interesting to me)
sorry that went on for way too long. Basically scb are great and please watch their series on Harry in slytherin bc I need someone to share my thoughts with pls
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themanedwolf · 1 year
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With the end of Doom Patrol coming, I am going to be scouring YouTube for content about it. Personally I think Cinema Therapy could have a field day analyzing even a fraction of the show. I am also down for waky theory videos a la SuperCarlinBrothers or Film Theory.
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kitty-company · 8 months
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Added another panel to my mug wall. It doesn't match, but it's functional.
Total Mugs: 53
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lavalamp-juice · 1 year
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type40thiefoflight · 1 year
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My brother in Carlin, this is not a film theory, this is a fanfiction. It belongs on AO3, not Youtube.
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magic-belodie · 1 year
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Day 30 of the SCB draw October challenge; What if you are a Pokémon trainer.
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if SuperCarlinBrothers made a video about wolfstar, my life would be complete. I would need nothing more.
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ownsayoyo · 1 year
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What do I do with all of the Harry Potter lore I learned from my 6 years of watching super Carlin brothers?
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boimgfrog · 9 months
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boy you named yourself after a pokemon character
I wish I did the reality is a lot sadder. I named myself after a youtuber I liked at age 12
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lovelytsunoda · 1 year
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yule shoot your eye out // lance stroll
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summary: it was supposed to be a relaxing getaway. instead, a snowstorm traps y/n ocon and lance stroll inside the mount tremblant cabin they had rented, and strands esteban and his girlfriend at the airport. so until the snow melts, she's trapped with her brother's best friend, and forced to reckon with her feelings.
pairing: lance stroll x female ocon! reader ( forced proximity, brother's best friend )
warnings: sexual tension, smut scene that really does nothing for the plot but i wanted to put it in there anyways, super brief mention of masturbation (one sentence), drinking, discussion of kinks (or lack thereof because y/n is like me and needs to constantly know she's loved and desires closeness and intimacy-), mentions of poor mental health, half-assed love confessions where they somehow both know exactly what the other was going to say, esteban walks in on lance and y/n making out on the couch. i use too many romance tropes.
mount tremblant, quebec.
y/n ocon had never seen snow this bad. and she considered herself a country girl through and through. or at least, as close to the countryside as one could get in normandy. she drove at a cautious pace, a sharp detour from the way that she normally drove, in an attempt to keep control over the rented toyota.
"lance, i can't even see three feet ahead of me." she huffed, phone resting in the cupholder at the highest volume. lance stroll, her brother's best friend of over a decade was on the other end of the line, chuckling to himself as he tried to calm the girl down.
"calm down, y/n. you should be almost there, if the find my friends app is working the way that it should."
"that doesn't instill me with a lot of confidence, sir lancelot." she rolled her eyes, taking a turn far too cautiously for it to have been safe if there were any other cars on the road.
it's not her fault she's never experienced a proper canadian winter.
"just take one more right turn, you're almost there. do you not see the road signs?"
"i can't see through the fucking snow! i don't understand why we decided to come up here instead of going down to dallas with mick."
"you're the one who wanted a proper winter getaway."
"i meant the swiss alps!"
lance laughed down the phone before redirecting the conversation. "okay, i can see your headlights, you're at the bottom of the driveway. give me like, ten minutes and i'll meet you in front of the cabin. why are you using your windshield wipers to fend off the snowflakes?"
the aston martin driver did nothing to hide the laughter in his voice.
"fuck off, stroll."
lance tried to stop laughing, but y/n could still hear the joking tone in his voice. "just park near the top of the driveway, i'll come out and help you with your stuff."
"you're an angel, lance. and when i say 'angel' i mean the fucker from buffy the vampire slayer."
"duly noted." the canadian laughs, tugging on his parka before stepping out of the cabin and making his way down the steps. "where's your brother?"
"we weren't on the same flight. no, dear old estie decided not to come and visit if we were all going up to the cabin together." she rolled her eyes as she hung up the phone, watching as lance braved the snow, stumbling towards the rental car.
y/n had been studying at the university of manchester for the last two years and was almost done her program. staying in continental europe had allowed her to stay close to her family, and kept her close to racing, which had always been her passion. she was studying mechanical engineering, with a student placement at carlin. of course, her ultimate goal was to be the first female race engineer in formula one, and being able to get in at alpine wouldn't hurt.
esteban and elena would be flying out of paris, but their flight was supposed to leave an hour ago and she hadn't heard anything. no confirmation that esteban had boarded the plane, no word on any delays.
she tried not to think about it as she stepped out of the car, the hood on her puffy white jacket pulled up against the harsh wind. "let me give you a hand."
lance shook his head. "you've been driving for hours, and your flight was what, six hours long? no, i am carrying your bags."
"at least let me take the suitcase, it's heavy." she insisted, although there was a fuzzy feeling in her stomach at the stroll boy's enthusiasm to help her out.
lance had always been a sweetheart, and she'd be lying if she said that in the last three years, she hadn't felt warm and fuzzy around the aston martin driver. he always went out of his way to make her feel comfortable and included, make her laugh when she felt down. when she had been having a hard time at university, lance had come up to visit her when esteban couldn't, or when she didn't want to worry her parents.
she'd be lying if she said that picturing lance stroll in her bed was the only thing that got her off when her hand was between her thighs. that the reason she was probably still single was because she never made it past a second or third date because she kept comparing every single suitor to her brother's best friend.
"absolutely not." lance insisted. "but you can take the backpack."
"all the backpack has in it is books, a travel pillow and a fucking water bottle. come on, i feel bad." y/n insisted, making grabby hands towards her hard-scheel suitcase, backpack slung over one shoulder. "lance."
"y/n. stop arguing with me, it's cold out here. let me help you."
"fine." the ocon girl caved, locking the car and trudging her way up to the front steps of the rented vrbo cabin.
the two stumbled inside, dropping bags in the foyer and stripping out of snow-covered winter coats.
lance would be lying if he said that his line of sight wasn't immediately drawn to the tight holly-green sweater that y/n was wearing, and the way it made her curves look perfect in the warm led lights.
"i haven't heard anything from esteban since i left manchester. has he called you at all?"
"i'm sure you're overthinking, y/n." lance tried to placate the girl in front of him. "he'd call if anything was wrong. i haven't heard from chloe and scotty either."
y/n laughed, slumping down on the faux leather couch. the cabin was cozy: all cedar wood and plaid accents, shockingly Canadian in the sense of décor. fairy lights hung from exposed timbers and she tried to allow herself to relax, tucking her feet underneath a thick plaid blanket.
"i guess that's typical younger sibling bullshit, isn't it?"
lance laughed, taking a seat on the couch next to the young woman. it was all he could do to keep a respectful distance, knowing that if he was any closer, he'd probably do something stupid.
like kiss her.
"i'm sure our siblings are fine." lance reassured, thinking about his own sister and her fiancée.
"hold that thought." y/n said, sitting up straighter as her phone began to ring, esteban's name flashing across the screen. "estie? where are you?"
"we're still in paris. our flight just got cancelled because of the storm. the airline moved us to a flight two days from now, so we're going to stay down the road from the airport." esteban sounded exhausted, his voice far off as it flooded through the small speakers at the base of her iphone. "they said they'd call if anything changed. did you land okay?"
"the flight was rocky, but i made it in one piece. lance and i are at the cabin now. there's still nothing from chloe and scotty."
"putain. listen, as long as you're with lance, you're safe from the storm. just hang tight and i'll call when i have more news."
"okay. estie? stay safe. i love you."
"love you too." the phone began to crackle, her brother's next words getting lost somewhere between phone lines.
"esteban? esteban?" the three beeps from her phone indicated that the lines had gone down, the simple 'no service' icon appearing in the top right hand corner.
y/n groaned, leaning further back against the couch, knees drawn into her chest as she dropped her phone on the cushions. "the lines are down."
she knew what this all meant. she was stuck in a log cabin with lance stroll and every fond feeling that she had ever harboured for the aston martin driver. she'd either lose her mind or do something freakishly stupid.
"is esteban all right?" lance asked quietly, gingerly moving closer on the couch. y/n took that as a cue, falling straight into his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. breathing in his cologne.
she'd always loved that fucking cologne.
she sighed, closing her eyes. "his flight got cancelled. they're trying to get him on a flight in a few days, but he's not exactly hopeful. it's a miracle that i got here alive, if i'm being frank."
"it's not all bad. we may not have cell signal, but we do have heating, and there's a fridge full of food and wine. a dvd player and a stack of christmas movies."
"alcohol sounds great right about now." y/n agreed, pulling the blanket further over her body.
"red wine or white?" lance asked, getting to his feet and crossing over to the kitchen. "i've also got my mom's sugar cookies."
"red, please. and bring the cookies. tell claire-anne i think she's a bloody legend."
the canadian laughed, popping the cork as he switched on the small radio on the counter, oldies christmas music flooding the open concept main floor, elvis crooning about how he'd have a blue christmas without the one he loved.
me fucking too, mr. presley.
"don't worry, she already knows." lance beamed, coming back to the living room with two wine glasses and a tin of cookies shaped like christmas trees. "have you been doing all right lately? i never felt right about heading back home after that one weekend."
the french girl knew what weekend lance was talking about. she had been in a bad place that entire week, and esteban was worried about her. he was too busy with sponsorship events and couldn't catch a flight out of france soon enough, so he had called lance. the strolls had been at silverstone that week running simulator time at the aston martin factory. lance had driven the four hours from towcester to manchester, and had stayed with her all weekend. as soon as lance came inside the apartment, she had broken down crying in lance's arms. all she had been able to say at the time had been 'i want my mom', repeating it in both english and french while lance held her, whispering that everything would be okay.
"they've been getting better. the semester ended and think the break has done wonders for me. winter semester starts up in january, and my schedule is a little lighter. i'll be working with carlin again, so once the season starts, hopefully i'll be able to get out a little bit more. i'm supposed to be back at the factory three times a week after christmas." y/n started, taking a sip of her wine, still curled up in a blanket. "i'm thinking about getting a rabbit or something. just so i'm not alone in the apartment all the time."
lance nodded along. "that might be nice. how many years do you have left?"
"two years. stephanie carlin is actually really excited about signing me on full time. just as a junior engineer, not a race engineer, but one day i'll get there."
"i have full faith. you'll be coming for brad's job in no time."
y/n laughed, the sound bordering on a snort. "what, so you can tell me that you know the car is already on fire, or that i don't know that the 'pit confirm' and 'ok' buttons are the same thing?"
"you love listening to me and brad and you know it. you think it's charming."
she raised her eyebrows, taking another sip of her wine. "charming isn't exactly the word that i would use."
the duo didn't realize how fast time would fly. conversation flowed comfortably, the wine bottle already halfway empty, the tin of cookies now reduced to a few small crumbs at the bottom of the metal container. they were now sharing a blanket, their legs resting on top of each other.
"this is going to sound completely absurd, but i need to know." lance laughed.
"it's twenty questions. nothing is too absurd." y/n laughed back. "hit me with your best shot, pat benatar."
lance cocked an eyebrow "are you wine drunk?"
"maybe." she giggled, taking another sip. "was that your absurd question?"
"no, not at all. this is: what are you into? like, in bed? because i walked in on your brother and elena once right before a press conference, and i cannot unsee that shit.”
“try hearing him through the walls. our house was small as hell, lance. imagine hearing your older brother have an orgasm. it’s traumatizing.”
“come on, you have to be into something. stop avoiding the question.”
“lance stroll, you don’t ask a woman about her kinks before a first date!”
“what are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything!” she managed to say through laughter. “really, I’m not. I don’t have any kinks.”
lance raised an eyebrow. “everybody has at least one, come on now.”
“really, I don’t. my roommate in freshman year made me take an online bdsm test, and it came back a hundred percent vanilla.”
“a kink is anything that turns you on during sex, y/n. there has to be something.”
y/n rolled her eyes, staring at her almost empty wineglass. “there is not enough red wine in the world for this conversation.” she reached towards the coffee table, pouring the last dregs of the deep red liquid into her glass.
lance looked at her intently. “now I’m curious. what secrets is little miss perfect hiding?”
“I suppose if I had to pick something, because you seem so desperate to embarrass me today,” she rolled her eyes dramatically. “I would say that my kink is romance. some girls want to give up control and have someone tell them what to do during sex, or be tied up and shit, and that's perfectly fine, for them, but I just want to be loved and cared for. I want grand gestures and rose petals and hand holding. I want to be called sweetheart, and darling, and pretty girl.”
lance raised his eyebrow again. god, he shouldn’t look that good when he looks at me like that, she thinks to herself. “that’s it? that’s what you’re so ashamed of?”
“grand romantic notions get you nowhere in the real world. I know that men are going to get bored with me real quick that way.”
“I wouldn’t.”
her heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second, her breath caught in her throat. it’s the alcohol talking, she tried to tell herself. there’s no way he just said what he said.
“I’d call you ‘pretty girl’ all night long, fuck you as tenderly and lovingly as you wanted, and I’d hold your hand the entire time, as long as you wanted me to.”
she couldn’t form a proper response. her mouth had gone dry. she stared at the beautiful man across from her, blinking rapidly as she tried to comprehend what was happening.
“uhm, y/n? hello…earth to y/n?” lance said, confusion in his voice as he looked at her. “are you okay? I think your brain kind short circuited there-“
she cut him off by planting her lips on his, practically jumping into his lap. the driver gasped in surprise before gripping her hips and holding her close. her hands flew up to cradle lances face, moaning into his mouth at the rush of sensations, the buzz that she felt throughout every nerve ending in her body.
she was kissing lance stroll.
“that’s my pretty girl.” he mumbled between kisses, pulling the blankets around their bodies.
at the sound of the pet name spilling from the canadians lips, the lips she had dreamt would someday be spilling that same praise for her in a much more intimate context, she thought she would crumble under his touch, moaning faintly as she tried to press herself up against him. she was sitting on his lap now, legs hanging off the side of the couch and lips against his, her fingertips dragging through his hair as he gripped her thigh tightly.
“lance…” she breathed heavily, the french accent in her voice wavering as the driver began to press sloppy, open mouthed kisses to her neck. “lance, baby, please don’t stop.”
lance grinned against her skin. he wanted this as much as she did, if not more. “anything for my pretty girl.”
the driver leaned back on the couch, pulling y/n's body flush against his, sliding his warm hands up the back of her sweater. she shivered under his touch, only spurring him on more.
until the lights went out with a high pitched beeping sound, the entire cabin plunged into darkness as the battery-operated radio continued to eerily play 'baby it's cold outside' as y/n jumped, tripping over lance's legs as she slid off the couch.
"jesus christ" she groaned, leaning back against the couch, the floor a piercing cold through her jeans. "what happened to the lights? even the fucking string lights are out."
"shit. the storm must have taken the power lines out." lance groaned, pulling the blanket over his lap to hide the growing tent in his jeans. "so now we have no cell phone signal, and no power."
"fucking hell." she mumbled, getting to her feet. "and no power also means no heat. esteban and elena are going to find our frozen corpses huddled for warmth in front of the fireplace."
"you're so overdramatic." lance laughed, getting up from the couch and reaching out to stop y/n from picking up the empty wine glasses. "sit down, y/n. let me handle this, pretty girl."
he said it with a grin and a wink, an overall sense of cheekiness that sent shivers down y/n's spine. she was still struggling to comprehend what had just happened.
she had made out with lance stroll, and she was about ninety eight percent certain that he enjoyed it, if the tent in his jeans was anything to go off of.
"do you have any candles or anything?"
three hours later.
the power still hadn't come back on. neither had the heat, and the fireplace couldn't warm an entire cabin. a cabin intended for six that was currently only occupied by two. a bath and body works candle that smelled scarily like a christmas tree sat on the dresser, dimly lighting up a small circle against the wall that allowed her to see just enough to pull on her plaid victoria's secret pajamas. but the flannel fabric wasn't nearly warm enough for a cabin that was rapidly losing heat.
a shiver wracked her body, goosebumps sprouting all along the hairs on her arms as she reached for the plush blanket at the foot of the bed, draping it around her body before blowing the candle out and edging the door open.
she crossed the hallway, her hands shaking from the temperature drop as she knocked on the door. she could feel heat from inside the room, indicating that lance had somehow managed to get the old woodstove in the corner working.
she hadn't bothered to try with the one in her room.
"lancelot?" she said quietly, playing into the nickname she had always used for him. "can i come in?"
the door creaked open. a loud sound against the rusted hinges. nothing wd-40 couldn't fix. "is everything okay, y/n?" lance asked, a confused and concerned look on his face.
"i'm fucking freezing. and you managed to get a woodstove to work." she shrugged, laughing softly as she gestured at the blanket she was wrapped in.
lance opened the door wider. "come on in. i've got piles of blankets, and probably some body heat."
"how reassuring." she said sarcastically, crossing the threshold into lance's room. crossing a line that could never be uncrossed as she dropped the blanket, tucking herself into the left-hand side of the bed. lance followed shortly after, draping himself over her, his arms securely around her stomach as they spooned.
"lance?" she said softly, as they lay there in the quiet and the dark. "i'm in love with you."
lance inhaled, and she could feel his entire body shudder behind her as he leaned in the whisper in her ear, his breath hot on her skin. "i've been in love with you almost since i first saw you. when my dad was first thinking about buying force india and we walked in the garage and you were there arguing with otmar in that cute little top with the bell sleeves, insisting that you knew more than the team fucking principal." he laughed, his chest rumbling against her back. "you were such a little firecracker, you know."
"and i was on a gap year as well. i took time off to help my dad with the garage. god, i thought i knew so much. i wasn't even in university yet."
"otmar followed your strategy calls that race, you know. he was unsure at first, but he got on the phone with vijay and vijay told him to go for it."
"i know. otmar told esteban afterwards, told him to give me a fucking pandora gift card."
lance laughed, trying to hide a yawn. "sounds about right. get some rest, pretty girl. see you in the morning."
eight hours later.
the room was still dark when y/n ocon woke up. she could still hear the howl of the wind outside, but the room still felt cold, the piles and piles of blankets still pulled over her shoulders. she rolled over, eyes still closed as she nuzzled into lance's chest. the aston driver groaned, one of his hands slipping down her back to cup her ass gently.
"mornin' beautiful." his voice was husky and seductive as he leaned in to kiss her.
"good morning, handsome." she said softly, her face breaking into a smile as she kissed him.
their lips moved in tandem, the air punctuated with soft giggles and wide smiles as she threw her leg over lance's thigh, trying to pull him as close as she could as he playfully smacked her ass, rolling the pair over so that he was on top.
her hands slipped up the back of his heather grey t-shirt, sliding the fabric over his head while the canadian trailed kisses down her neck, the stubble on his chin grazing the delicate skin. she moaned underneath him before he pulled away briefly to get the shirt the rest of the way off his body, casting it aside before kissing her again. her arms came up to loop around his neck, his fingers dancing across her stomach as he slowly undid the buttons on her pajama top.
"lance," she breathed. "is that. . . "
"my hard cock against your thigh?" lance winked with a sly grin. "you bet. see how turned on you make me, pretty girl? if you had said something sooner, we could have been doing this for years now. maybe i'd have even managed to put a ring on your finger."
"i guess we'd better make up for lost time, then." she grinned, helping lance take off the remainder of her flannel shirt before urging lance's head towards her rapidly hardening nipples.
"you're so beautiful, darling." he crooned, kissing and caressing as much of y/n's body as she could, her fingernails lightly digging into his upper back as he swirled his tongue over her breast.
they easily could have wasted the morning away like that. in lance's arms, y/n felt safe and secure. she felt loved, and it all felt right. something that her mother said to her when she was eighteen stuck out in her mind: when you know, you'll know.
and as she and lance shed their flannel pajama pants, his arms around her, his hands in hers as he began to thrust into her, she knew.
but she had a feeling that she had known for a lot longer than that.
"that's it, pretty girl." lance groaned, thrusting deeper and drawing a loud moan from the girl underneath him. "tell me how good i make you feel, hey? i want to know that you feel just as good as i do right now."
"yes, god, yes." she whined, eyelids fluttering shut as she watched lance bring her knuckles up to his mouth, pressing kisses to each knuckle before trailing the kisses down her arm until he reached her neck, the pace of his hips never faltering. “oh, lance, you feel incredible, love.”
"yeah? yeah, you look so pretty like this, beautiful. my pretty girl."
"oh, god! i think i-"
"are you going to come for me, pretty girl? i've got you, baby, you're safe, let go for me. milk this cock."
"oh, lance!"
as they were laying together, a tangled mass of limbs and hair, fingers still pressed to skin, sweaty bodies pressed up against one another, the power came back on, dim lights filling the bedroom as lance kissed her gently.
"i love you, y/n."
she smiled. "je t'aime aussi, lance."
four hours later.
they'd wasted the day away in the shower (having more incredible sex while they were at it), cooking together and watching christmas movies on the vhs player in the cabin's living room ("who even uses vhs tapes any more!" "people who live in cottages, babe!")
as the end credits to 'deck the halls' played on the big screen, lance and y/n softly made out in the dim light of the string lights hanging from the ceiling, curtains still pulled shut.
neither of them heard the door creak open, but they all heard esteban ocon's disgusted shout.
"what the fuck!"
"esteban, i can explain." y/n tried to reason with her brother, aware that lance's hands were in a very compromising position on her body
the alpine driver stood in the middle of the living room, snowflakes melting on his parka as he blinked, trying to make sense of why his sister and his best friend were heavily making out on the sofa.
"are those hickeys on your neck? y/n ocon-khelfane!"
"lance!" she hissed, looking over at the boy. "really? how old are you, seventeen?"
"you didn't notice when you got out of the shower?" the driver asked, trying to avoid making eye contact with esteban. "i thought you said his flight was delayed two days!"
elena shrugged. she had been standing behind her boyfriend, making the conscious choice not to get involved. "we got an earlier flight last minute. we did try to call."
"phone lines are down." y/n said apologetically. "power was out all last night, too."
"and i bet lance kept you warm, didn't he?" esteban glared at lance, ready to destroy their friendship to protect his baby sister's honor. "you have until the count or three, strulovich."
lance's eyes widened. "count fo three for what?"
"one."
"lance, run."
"he's my best friend, he's not going to hurt me. estie, come on!" lance laughed nervously. "let's talk this out."
"two."
"i think she's right." elena piped up. "you can talk it out later."
"three."
lance was off the couch in a flash. "okay, running now!"
they did, in fact, talk it out later.
but not before they wrestled each other and esteban made lance swear not to break y/n's heart.
Tags: @magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @daydreamingleclerc @flannel-cures @sidcrosbyspuck
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sirfrogsworth · 1 year
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The new Chris Rock comedy special was *rough*.
His acts have been deteriorating for a while now. But this was just a train wreck. He refuses to evolve and adapt. But the biggest issue... it was just a bad performance.
When I was trying to learn how to do stand up, his comedy specials were like a masterclass. Even if you didn't care for the content, his writing and delivery were always polished and razor sharp. You could tell he worked his ass off to get his material as close to perfection as possible. Probably telling the same jokes over and over at small clubs for months before filming.
A stand up joke is typically a premise a punchline and a button. The premise is usually a compelling story or anecdote, the punchline is the subversion of expectations (aka the joke), and the button is how you transition to your next premise. It allows for laughter to die down without an awkward pause. And he was such a natural. He flowed from one to the other so effortlessly. He must have practiced constantly to get his performance that smooth while making it still sound spontaneous and authentic.
But this latest act was all over the place. His delivery was forced and awkward. His transition from premise to punchline to button felt like he kept stepping on rakes. In spots it almost seemed like he was debuting brand new material that he never tested on an audience before. And he completely ruined one of his jokes near the end. Just monumentally biffed it. By the time you are filming a special, your material should be muscle memory. Sure, it was live and mistakes can happen. But usually it is a fumbled word or a stutter or something. I've never seen someone demolish their entire joke during a performance of that import.
And then there was the content. Only a few of his jokes hit. I mean, the audience was laughing in all the right spots. And there are reasons why captive audiences will do that. Especially if they are loyal lifelong fans who want to justify the price of the ticket. But I don't think I even cracked a smile.
Some of the jokes didn't even seem like jokes. He just seemed angry. Angry at women. Angry at his ex wife. Angry at Jada Pinkett Smith. He blamed her more for the slap than Will.
It all just seemed lazy--similar to Chappelle. He didn't spend much time writing. He didn't spend much time polishing. He didn't spend much time rehearsing. He didn't challenge himself to do any reinvention of his style. It was like a bad imitation of himself. As if he thought, "If I yell enough they will probably laugh and I'll get paid."
There is also this thing many comedians will do as a sort of challenge. They will take a controversial topic that other comics have gotten in trouble for and they will try to find a way to make similar jokes without consequences. The idea is to come as close to the line as possible without crossing it. George Carlin's Porky Pig rape joke is a famous example.
So Mr. Rock decided to give his views on transgender folks.
Because of course he did.
I knew exactly what he was doing the second he started talking about trans people. He wanted to succeed where Chappelle failed and his approach was... transparent.
Chris claimed *he* wasn't transphobic because he was "an artist." And if his dad was trans he would be completely okay with it. He repeated this like 50 times to make sure people knew he was not transphobic. And then he devised a super duper non-obvious clever scheme for how he could still tell transphobic jokes without appearing transphobic.
He told the jokes as his less enlightened "truck driving" older brother.
BRILLIANT!
It wasn't HIM saying transphobic stuff, it was just what he imagined his older brother would say if their father were a woman. And then he did nothing to show that his imaginary "brother" was in the wrong.
So if you have a problem, please send all complaints to his brother who never actually said any of those things and not the person who actually manifested those thoughts and repeated them to millions.
The cherry on top of his transgender material?
The One Joke™.
Yep. He did the whole "I identify as..." and "my pronouns are..." and it was just sad.
Instead of "Selective Outrage" I think his act should have been called, "Let me explain why I am bitter about women taking my money and I don't care if you laugh or not."
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goldenboygate · 1 year
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i know i do this quite a lot already but before i disappear into nothingness i wanna talk a bit about someone called lando norris.
born 13th november 1999, in bristol. his father is english, and his mother is belgian. he holds dual british and belgian citizenship. he barely speaks either language. he has three siblings, two younger sisters and one older brother.
in 2010 he placed 3rd in super 1 national championship, and then 2nd in 2011. in that same year he won formula kart stars and placed 3rd in copa de campeones. in 2013 he won the wsk euro series, the cik-fia european championship and cik-fia international super cup while placing 2nd in the wsk super master series.
in 2014 when he was 14, he placed 3rd in the ginetta junior championship with 4 wins, 11 podiums, 8 poles, 2 fastest laps and 432 points in 20 races.
a year later, he partook in the msa formula championship with carlin where he placed 1st, beating ricky collard and then teammate colton herta. that same year he also raced in the inaugural season of adac formula 4. he entered in 8/24 races, won 1 race and got 5 other podiums and ended in 8th place out of 51 drivers.
2015 also saw him race in the italian formula 4 championship where he placed 11th after racing in 9/21 races, and the brdc formula 4 autumn trophy where he placed 5th after racing in 4/8 races.
2016 was a busy year for 16-year-old lando. as a rookie he won both the eurocup formula renault 2.0 and formula renault 2.0 nec with josef kaufmann racing, and also the toyota racing series - also as a rookie.
he drove 11/24 races in the brdc british formula 3 championship, winning four races and getting on the podium for four others, resulting in an overall p8. he drove as a guest (ineligible for points) for carlin in the fia formula 3 european championship and placed 11th in the macau grand prix after having started the race p27.
in 2017 lando entered the fia formula 3 european championship with carlin. he won the drivers' championship with 441 pts. during 30 races he won 9 times, got on the podium 11 other times, got 8 poles and 8 fastest laps. he became the first non-prema driver to win the championship.
he also won the fia formula 3 european rookie championship with 628 pts, beating drivers like jehan daruvala and mick schumacher.
in the macau grand prix that year, he placed 2nd. he made his debut in round 11 of the fia formula 2 championship with campos racing, replacing ralph boschung, retiring in the feature race and placing 13th in the sprint race.
also in 2017, lando was signed as a junior driver with mclaren. he tested for mclaren in a scheduled mid-season test and set the second-fastest lap in the second day of testing at the hungaroring. later that year he officially became the mclaren test and reserve driver for the 2018 season.
in 2018 he entered the formula 2 championship with carlin. as a rookie, he placed 2nd with 1 win and 7 other podiums. current f1 drivers that competed alongside him are george russell, alex albon and nicky latifi.
he also drove daytona 24h with fernando alonso and phil hanson in a prototype car on continental tyres, recovering 33 seconds in 20 laps.
2019 was his rookie year in f1, the youngest british f1 driver of all time at age 19. he was partnered with carlos sainz at mclaren. that meant mclaren had a brand new driver line-up, with carlos having signed a two-year deal after a two-year stint at renault. lando finished 11th in the drivers' championship with 49 points, while carlos scored 96 points. lando did outqualify carlos at 11/21 races. during this season lando signed a new contract keeping him at mclaren until 2022.
due to covid the 2020 season started in july, and it started with a bang with lando qualifying p4 (elevated to p3 because of a hamilton penalty, the highest grid position of lando's career at the time and the highest for mclaren since the 2016 austrian gp). lando finished the race p3, getting his first f1 podium and his first fastest lap (he got his second at the turkish gp). scenario 7 lando was born. this also made lando the third youngest podium-finisher in f1 history (a record formerly held by jenson button). he finished p9 in the end, with 97 points, almost doubling his 2019 points. carlos finished 6th with 105 points but once again, lando out qualified him 9/17.
2021 was lando's best year in f1 to date. he got a new teammate, daniel ricciardo, who, like carlos, came from a two-year stint at renault. lando amassed four more podiums this year, three p3's and one p2. he started on the first row for the first time when he got p2 in quali in austria, but went on to do better as he got his first pole in sochi, and a first real shot at a win while also recording the fastest lap at the same race. he finished the season in p6 with 160 points, 45 more points than his teammate. he also out-qualified dan 14/22. this year he also set a record for consecutive points finishes for a mclaren driver, with a streak of 15 races in the top-10. the record was previously held by two-time world champion fernando alonso. lando signed a new contract locking him down at mclaren until the end of the 2025 season.
the 2022 season isn't over, but while the car hasn't really been up to speed, lando has done everything and more to keep mclaren in the p4 fight. he has one podium, a p3, the only driver outside of rbr, ferrari and merc, and he has 109 points, 79% of mclaren's 138 points. he's currently p7 in the standings, behind the rbr, ferrari, and mercedes drivers.
he also did all three days of preseason testing in bahrain after daniel fell ill, raced in monaco with tonsillitis securing the fastest lap and has only once, in 79 races, been eliminated in q1 (never this year). he has made it to q2 since silverstone 2019, one of the longest streaks of any current driver on the grid.
in 2016 he won british club driver of the year and the mclaren autosport brdc award at the autosport awards.
in 2018 he won national driver of the year at the autosport awards.
in 2019, 2020 and 2021 he won british competition driver of the year at the autosport awards.
in 2021 he was nominated for fia personality of the year at the fia prize giving awards, alongside drivers such as max verstappen, lewis hamilton and sebastian vettel.
tldr; lando isn't just someone who stumbled into f1 back in 2019 with nothing to show for it, with no accolades or experience on his back. does he have a disproportionate amount of privilege coming from a wealthy family? of course, he does, but so do most of the grid in one way or another. whether it's monetary, being connected to the former president of the fia or getting personally invested in by a team principal of an f1 team when you're still in karts.
there are a lot of talented drivers that never get into f1 because of reasons; there are some drivers who lack the talent to drive an f1 car yet still get into the series. lando doesn't fit into either category. he's there because of a lot of things, but the main ones are talent, speed, dedication, teamwork, focus, preparation and the willingness to learn and partake in building a car for the future, whether it's giving feedback through sim work or working with the mechanics to figure out how the car works.
tldr2; lando deserves to be in the sport, on the grid, to be lauded and loved and applauded.
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thetimelordbatgirl · 1 year
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If HBO has to reboot the HP franchise can’t they just fire JK and replace her with the Super Carlin Brothers. At least they aren’t racist, transphobic, or homophobic, and they write far more interesting HP fanfiction concepts than what’s in the original book series. Or better yet hire Dethryl to write for the show. He wrote the greatest Harry Potter in Slytherin series. They Shook Hands. He is also trans inclusive. I know these changes are impossible, but let an old (read former) very trans HP fan dream of a better world than reality.
I...ain't gonna lie, I feel we should just let Harry Potter franchise die already, because it doesn't matter who you hire for anything you make within in, as long as JK has the rights and is able to make money off Harry Potter, it is not gonna work out well. You can't exactly fire her from having the rights and she'll keep them as long as she's able to.
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collegegarbage · 1 year
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Yes I believe that Andy’s dad is dead and not an absent asshole. Yes I watched the Super Carlin Brothers Video that says as much when I was like 10. Yes I enjoyed some fan fictions that contradict this but they are still wrong. Yes I feel very strongly about this. Yes I will die mad about it.
/hj
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