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bethanythebogwitch · 4 months

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Wet Beast Wednesday: oarfish

It's the first Wet Beast Wednesday of the year. A year is a long time, and do you know what else is long? Oarfish! (A+ segue right there). Oarfish are long, skinny, and large fish of the family Regalecidae known for their odd appearances. There are three known species of oarfish in two genera: Agrostichthys parkeri, Regalecus russelii, and the most famous: Regalecus glesne.

(image id: a giant oarfish swimming. It is a long, serpentine fish with silvery skin ands multiple black patches. A short, red dorsal fin runs down its back and a crest of fin rays is on the head. end id)

All oarfish are poorly understood due to their deep-sea habitats leaving it hard to study them in the wild. As such, most information about them is known from rare wild sightings and carcasses. Adults live between 250 and 1000 meters (660 to 3300 ft) down, but larvae are occasional juveniles are found near the surface. Living oarfish that end up near the surface are likely to quickly die of depressurization. All species are long, slender, and scaleless, with elongated fin rays at the leading edge of the dorsal and pectoral fins that result in training crests. Their mouths are small and usually toothless (though some have been found with vestigial teeth) and can protrude outward. This protrusion creates suction, which the oarfish uses to draw food into its mouth. Its diet consists of zooplankton, primarily krill and shrimp, but also jellyfish, squid, small fish, and other crustaceans. They lack swim bladders and likely have to actively swim to maintain their position in the water column. Oarfish are believed to use two kinds of locomotion. They can undulate their whole body or by holding the body straight and moving only the long dorsal fin. Regardless of method, oarfish are not strong swimmers. Many of the vertebrae in the tail are hyper-ossified, meaning they have excess bone growth. This is believed to provide support for the tail as it moves and prevent fractures. It also likely helps control buoyancy. In some specimens, the tail appears to be blunted. This is speculated to be the result of self-amputation. The hypothesis is that the oarfish can drop part of its tail to escape predators. The predator would then go after the tail rather than expend more energy attacking the fleeing fish. The ability to lose a body part like this is called autotomy. While some animals who practice autotomy can regrow the lost body part, there is no evidence that oarfish can regrow their tails. Little is known about oarfish reproduction, but they are presumed to reproduce externally and provide little or no parental care. Larval oarfish float below the ocean's surface and feed on plankton. Juvenile oarfish have occasionally been found swimming at shallow depths. It is not clear how long oarfish development takes or at what point they descend into the deep sea. The lifespan is also unknown. Footage of oarfish in their natural habitat shows that they spend a lot of their time positioned vertically in the water, with their heads facing the surface. This would help them spot prey silhouetted against the sunlit surface of the water.

(image id: a closeup of the head of a giant oarfish lying on sand. The head is indistinct from the body. It has a large, silver eye with black pupil. The mouth is oriented vertically, making it look very odd compared to most fish mouths. The rest on its head and elongated pectoral fin rays are visible. End id)

(image id: four pictures of larval Regalecus russelii. It is of a similar body shape to an adult, but shorter and without pigment. The first fin rays for the head and fin crests are visible. End id. source)

The smallest of the oarfish is Agrostichthys parkeri, sometimes called the streamer fish. Small is a relative term as it can grow up to 3 meters (9.8 ft) long. Unlike the other known oarfish, it has hard nodules on its skin that may help with defense. A. parkeri is the least-well known of the oarfish. Only seven specimens have ever been examined. They have only ever been found in the southern Pacific ocean. The next largest is Regalecus russelii, Russell's oarfish. It can reach 5.4 meters (18 ft) long and is found worldwide along the equator. The largest and most famous species is Regalecus glesne, the giant oarfish. At recorded sizes up to 8 meters (26 ft) and 270 kg (600 lbs) and unconfirmed reported sizes up to 11 meters (36 ft), the giant oarfish is the longest bony fish alive today. Truley the longest of bois. They are found worldwide between the equatorial and polar regions.

(image id: the head of a deceased Agrostichthys parkeri lying on sand. Its head is longer than that of the giant oarfish and the open mouth appears as an extension of the head. end id)

(image id: a juvenile Regalecus russelii found in the great barrier reef. It looks similar to the giant oarfish, but is considerably smaller and its body is a pale blue. end id)

Due to their long, slender bodies, relative rarity, and extreme size, sightings of oarfish are speculated to have been responsible for many sightings of sea serpents. While most sea serpents were described as terrifying monsters that would attack ships, oarfish are completely harmless to humans. The reverse is not the case, as oarfish are occasionally caught as bycatch. There is no commercial fishery for oarfish as their meat is too poor quality to be used as food. One common name for oarfish is "king of herrings". This came from early reports of them apparently swimming amongst schools of herring, with sailors assuming the oarfish were leading the herring. In Japanese mythology, oarfish are known as "Ryūgū-no-tsukai" which translates to "messengers from the palace of the sea god". A bit of Japanese folklore considers oarfish to be harbingers of earthquakes. There is no scientific evidence for any relationship between oarfish and earthquakes, but the belief got boosted after mass strandings of Russel's Oarfish happened in early 2010 and a massive earthquake occurred in 2011. Little is known about the conservation needs of all species of oarfish and no species currently has legal protection.

(image id: 17 people (with more in the background) holding up a deceased giant oarfish to show its scale. end id)

#wet beast wednesday #oarfish #long boi #giant oarfish #Agrostichthys parkeri #Regalecus russelii #Regalecus glesne #fish #fishblr #fishposting #marine biology #biology #zoology #ichthyology #animal facts #long post #image described #cw dead animal

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honey-minded-hivemind · 3 months

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🐋Siren AU, Scene One:

(Warning: mentions of cannibalism, Reader being chased from their old home, possible child murder, and Reader wanting to bite everything that tries to touch them. You have been advised)

• The ocean before you spreads beyond you, vast and impending. There is no coral, no colorful fish, no seaweed. It is an unending abyss of blue, fading darker and darker the farther it is from the sunlit water above... But, you have nowhere else to go...

• You used to have a different home, a different life. Born to a school of reef mers, all colorful and elegant, you were different from birth. You were black and white, not a speck of any other color to your tail... And your tail, it wasn't built like the others', full of trailing fins and frills, but bulkier, thicker. While the other guppies made fun of you, you took care of yourself. After all, you were stronger than them. If one bit you, you whapped your tail against their head. If they scratched you, you pinned them to the sandy floor until they begged to be let up. After awhile, you were just left alone, ignored and abandoned in favor of more similar playmates...

• You hated when you found out what you were... It had been a regular day, learning what you could from an elder, playing by yourself, and keeping away from the gossipy guppies, until a hunter had burst into the coral reef. The moment they saw you, they had screeched, "I finally know what they are! A siren!" Murmurs went up, followed by an elder asking for proof... "Proof! Here is your 'proof '" they had spat and they tossed a fin, just like the one along your back, into the group. "I tore that from a siren north of our territory! It was large, a behemoth! In the same colors of that one, bone white and ink black! It wasn't just any siren, but an orca!"

• THAT set the entire school into an uproar. Shrieks and cries burbled into the water as the nearest adults lunged at you, claws aiming for your fins and eyes. You managed to duck by, swimming as fast as you could around the panicking mer. The reef flashed past you as you swam, bits of rock and coral scraping against you as you dodged reaching claws and sharp harpoons. Until finally, you slipped out into the open waters, slapped out by the tail of one of the hunters, who tried to follow you. It only took that for you to turn tail and flee, striking out into the uncharted waters...

• And here you were now, alone, bleeding, and with no skills or school to help you survive. The one thing you had that was yours was your pearl earring, long and dangling, that you had found by yourself when you were only twelve winters old... You weren't sure how it wasn't torn off in the chase, but it brought you a small comfort to keep it. With a bubble-filled sigh, you kept swimming...

• The sea stretched on, never stopping or ending. No signs of any other life were to be found, save for small squid that came up at night, fleeting and swift. It was... unnerving. It had only been a week since you left, and your wounds had started to heal. You found out, only a few hours after leaving the reef, that a harpoon had nicked your tail, leaving a jagged, painful scratch along its side. That complicated swimming, but you couldn't stop. If you stopped, it was likely something would try to eat you while you rested. You couldn't risk a shark, or dolphins, or another siren finding you. If mer would kick out one of their own, someone they had raised, all because they were a siren... Would an actual siren do worse?

• Your reprieve from these thoughts was finding a small, rocky outcrop pointing out of the endless blue. The waters here were colder, foggy and sometimes filled with chunks of white. It wasn't ideal to stop here, but you needed rest, and this was the only opportunity you had had since your escape... Still... You approach the rock carefully, and once found clear of danger, you curl into a small crack, just big enough to fit you.

• Your dreams are fitful, full of sharp claws and deadly spears and familiar voices leering at you, pouncing in for the kill-!

•With a sharp, fearful click, you wake up. Your fingers rub over your arms, as your tail curls up, trying to squeeze yourself into a smaller ball. You feel the small gills of your neck flit, until you are able to calm down from the nightmare... But just as you settle back down... You hear an eerie sound, something that reverberates through the water around you...

• Tensing up, you stay quiet, staring out into the darkness beyond the crack. The moonlight filters through the water, painting everything in alien blacks and silvers, until the noise dies out... Everything is quiet, save for the small rush of a current nearby. The world seems still, unmoving... until something shifts into the light, something large and dark, and you shrink further into the crack. It's the largest thing you've ever seen...

• Another eerie sound rings out, something between a hum and a wail, loud and fervent. You clap your hands over your ears, trying to muffle the noise. Whatever is out there moves again, until you can't see it anymore... With a small shudder, you turn your head away from the crack entrance, and drift back into slumber.

• In the morning, when you wake up, you cautiously approach the crack entrance, sensing the water near it for any vibrations. Luckily, none are there... When you gather your nerves, you slip out, careful not to aggravate the scars on your tail. There are more white chunks in the water, and there are small bits of light turning the water a jewel green. Nothing seems off... No mers, no fish...

• "So, that's where you were hiding."

• A shriek escapes you as you turn around, only to find something larger than you and the rock outcrop...

• It's large, with scars banding it's arm and chest, with old wounds lining its tail. Their teeth are sharp, and their eyes are reddish-brown, like drying blood. Talons as sharp as hooks are at the end of each of its fingers, long and deadly... And their tail... It's... It's... the same as, yours...?

• "What, never seen another siren before, kid?" it asks, in a growl-like voice. In a sharp arc, you dive back into the crack you came out of. A curse echoes around you, as the being shifts around the rock so they can gaze into the small crevice. "Kid, kid, calm down. It's just a joke."

• "..."

• "You've... never seen another siren, have you?" It- he, it sounds like a he- peers at the entrance. One of their claws scrapes at it, but it won't entirely go in. "You can come out, kid, I'm not gonna eat you," he tries. You push yourself as far back as you can go, even when you feel the rough walls scrape your harpoon wound open. A hiss escapes you, following a small stream of blood. Another sound comes from the much (much much) larger siren, like a low growl. "Are you bleeding, kid?"

• You don't answer, only squeezing yourself in further. You're uncomfortable, pressed this far back, but it's the farthest you can get from what is essentially an adult who is bigger and obviously more dangerous than the mers you knew. A billowing sigh escapes the larger creature, the water rippling around it. "Kid... if you're bleeding, it needs to be looked at. Can you please come out?"

• "... No..." You shiver, trying to will yourself to be strong. If push comes to shove, you can't go down without a fight. What are you, afraid? You survived a murder attempt! SEVERAL, murder attempts! You can face some oversized whale, right?!

• "Kid, I can't take 'no' for an answer. Now, please come out. Don't make this difficult." The creature sounds tired now, maybe a little irritated. You let out a warbling click, the most threatening one you can muster. The creature stills, and seems to back off...

• Then... something weird happens. A loud, mournful wail-click, filled with a desperate, assertive tone rocks the waters, sending a cool ripple into you... But... the song sounds nice... Soothing... You shake your head, ripping yourself free from it.

• "No! I'm not going out there! You might eat me! Or WORSE!" you yell, covering your ears. The siren outside let's out an annoyed noise, only for it to pause...

• "Why the h*ll would I eat ya, kid? And what do you mean, 'do worse'?" Then there's a loud, deafening growl, and he speaks again. "The mers... they did that to you, didn't they?" When you don't speak up, he takes that as an answer. "Of course those sons of eels would do that... Kid, look, I'm not like them. We are not like them. We don't do that. We don't scare off kids, we don't try to kill 'em, and we definitely aren't about to make you bleed. Now, I'm going to say this one more time: Please come out."

• You shiver as the water only seems to get colder the longer you stay still... But still... "I... I can't...." You can't go back out there just to be chased off again, or have to battle against a siren whose older and stronger than you, who could easily rip you apart and leave you for the sharks...

• "I'm sorry, kid. That gives me no choice..." The calm wail-click starts again, and even though you try to cover your ears, it does nothing to block it out or to stop the vibrations rocking you gently. Tears enter your eyes, and you try to beg him to stop... But the song seems to echo inside your own head, a peaceful noise offering only relief and warmth... A small whimper escapes you, only for the song to get louder, softer, until you're lying down on the rocky floor and drifting off... The song keeps going, deep and affectionate, until you feel relaxed and tired... A slow rumble halts the song, and you let out a small warble, asking for it to come back...

• " 'Kay, kid, let's see ya." Something clicks besides you, dragging you out of the dark rock and into a warm palm. You sigh contentedly, the heat from it like the warmth of a thermal vent, constant and inviting... Something turns you, until you're staring into dark, vibrant eyes. You blink sluggishly, reaching out a hand to touch it...

• "Oh cr*p, kid... they did a number on you, didn't they?" A sad noise escapes you, and the voice stops. "Don't worry, we'll fix you up... Wait..." A nudge rolls you onto your stomach. "Kid... you look... just like me..." A croon comes from above you, and you feel more warmth pressed into you. "Okay, kid... Looks like I might just have to keep ya, huh? You sure are quite the little survivor, aren't you?" When you nod sleepily, the grip shifts, until your tucked against a warm wall... "'Kay, I can't say no to that... Let's get ya back to the pod, okay, kid? I know the other pups will be happy to see you..."

• You yawn, hearing a deep chuckle. "Seems like you need a nap... Night, kid. Get some rest. I'll keep you safe..." And with the gentle heat keeping you content and sleepy, you fall asleep... "Let's just hope Creed doesn't get word of you..."

#honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere marvel #yandere platonic marvel #platonic yandere #platonic yandere xmen #yandere x-men #platonic yandere x reader #platonic yandere marvel x reader #🐋Siren AU #platonic yandere wolverine #he's the older siren in this #platonic yandere xmen evolution au

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mbari-blog · 1 year

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Tiny rattail cuteness stealing our hearts 😍🥰⁠ ⁠

Baby rattail fishes, family Macrouridae (500 meters/1,650 meters deep), live up off the bottom, in the open waters of the midnight zone, to avoid being eaten by seafloor predators. Adults are slow-growing and long-lived, reaching up to 70 years old or even older. In some areas of the world, the grenadier fishery is removing adult rattails faster than the remaining population can reproduce.

Rattails use those big blue eyes to glimpse even the faintest flickers of bioluminescence—the “living light” produced by deep-sea animals. Their keen eyesight reveals prey, like fishes and squid, darting in the waters above the seafloor. A rattail relies on other senses, like smell and touch, to find a meal too. It has a nose for rotting carrion, and sensitive barbels on its chin detect small crustaceans or worms wiggling in the mud below.

Humans play a pivotal role in deep-sea food webs too. As fish stocks in the ocean’s sunlit shallows dwindle, fisheries cast their nets to deeper waters. You might see “grenadier” as the catch of the day in restaurants and seafood markets—that’s a deep-sea rattail fish sold under a more palatable market name. Rattails and other deep-sea fishes grow slowly and mature late in life, making them vulnerable to overfishing. Additionally, the gear used to catch these fishes may harm seafloor habitats or unintentionally catch other species too. Thankfully, effective management for rattail fisheries on the West Coast has reduced the risk of overfishing and habitat damage. The Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch guide can help you make seafood selections that keep ocean health in mind.

#MBARI #DeepSea #SeaLife #Ocean #Nature #Squeee #CuteFishesOfTumblr

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simplycinstuff · 10 months

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I was reading (again) "I will never (be your friend)" by scabsthekid (@sunlit-squid) and I couldn't help but make some fanarts of this fic 🤭💛. This is one of my favorites that I've read, I highly recommend it, go give support and love to Sunlit's work, each of her fics are incredible 🥰 By the way, the design of the outfits is from @zirc0nium-pants's two fanarts. He is also an amazing artist💙

#squidbob #spongebob x squidward #scabsthekid #otp #myart #fanart #nbyf #zirc0nium-pants

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personwholoveschocolate · 1 year

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One time I've been drawing people dancing but couldn't stop thinking about this awesome fic by @sunlit-squid and one of my favorite scenes from it sooo

This is my little "i love you" to this beautiful fic that dragged me from "i ship this ironically" to "i draw fanarts now" and im really grateful for that

Thank you sunlit-squid <3

#you can also see it's very much inspired by ponyo #bc #I love ponyo #so yea haha there's your anime squidbob #nbyf #or the love of my life #go read it if you haven't yet #it's too good #squidbob #squidward #spongebob #my art #fic recs

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bobsponge-pantssquare · 10 months

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My first public podfic

Well, here it is yall, I worked on this thing for a whole month and I cant believe I finished it.

NBYF by sunlit-squid has been a big inspiration for me since I read it and I couldnt get it out of my head, I just knew I needed to read it again-- but I dont always have the time, and thats why I decided to make a podfic out of it.

podfics are just so cool and useful, you can just... listen to a fanfic? what a concept!

so this is my gift to the fandom that ive technically been in for over 15ish years

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48266716/chapters/121725568

I'll start working on the next chapter very soon so look forward to it!

#squidbob #spongebob squarepants #squidward tentacles #spongebob #squidward

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blackcanary1412 · 1 year

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The "Festive Fish" event is finally here on Dreamlight Valley!

You can find the festive fish at the following locations - (just look for the red/green colored bubbles in the ponds):

Festive Salmon - Sunlit Plateau

Festive Anglerfish - Forgotten Lands

Festive Bass - Peaceful Meadow

Festive Fugu - Dazzle Beach

Festive Squid - Glade of Trust

#disney #disney holidays #disney dreamlight valley #dreamlight valley #dreamlight valley blog #gaming tips #dreamlight tips #dreamlight valley festive fish #festive fish

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tragicclownwrites · 1 year

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always be yours

by tragicclownwrites

A year after their fateful weekend in Bass Vegas, Squidward and Spongebob’s lives have changed forever, and even newer feelings emerge. When Squidward is unexpectedly invited to perform in New Kelp City, he comes up with a plan for what to do with the ring burning a hole in his pocket…

(aka an unofficial sequel to "i will never (be your friend)")

Words: 71K, Chapters: 15/15, Language: English

Fandom: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: SpongeBob SquarePants, Squidward Tentacles, Sandy Cheeks, Patrick Star, Eugene Krabs, Sheldon J. Plankton, Mrs. Puff (SpongeBob), Karen (SpongeBob), Pearl Krabs, Original Female Character(s), Perch Perkins, Kelpy G, Squilliam Fancyson

Relationships: SpongeBob SquarePants x Squidward Tentacles, Sandy Cheeks x Karen, Eugene Krabs x Sheldon J. Plankton, Past Squilliam Fancyson x Squidward Tentacles, Past Mrs. Puff x Mr. Krabs, Sandy Cheeks x Karen x Sheldon J. Plankton x Eugene Krabs, Squilliam Fancyson & SpongeBob SquarePants, One-Sided Patrick Star x Original Female Character

Additional Tags: Marriage Proposal, Established Relationship, Drunkenness, Hurt & Comfort, villian redemption, Fluff, Romance, Light Angst

#spongebob #squidward #squidbob #karendy #plabs #nbyf #sunlit-squid #long fic #multi chapter #felt it needed its own post :)#with a cute banner too #i'll probably do these kind of posts with most of my fics going forward #the banner itself is linked to the fic #spongebob squarepants #squidward tentacles #squilliam fancyson #tragic clown actually writes #fanfic #sbsp

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starscreamfireworks · 2 years

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tried my hand at writing something small and thought you guys might like it (heavily inspired by I will never be your friend by sunlit-squid)

then, he closes his eyes and starts swaying. with a small, dreamy smile on his face, he starts swaying to a song that nobody but him can hear. i stare, and the only thought i have is what is his song?

i can see it on his face, the warmth in it, and i wish that i could hear it too. there’s so much that i can’t hear in him. a symbol of all that is good, proof that there is still hope for this world. he is the sun, and i am a cave-dweller.

can someone like me stray from their roots? will i only see his shadow, shining through the entrance to my cave, an after image? or will i step outside, into the warmth, bask in that shy smile, those cerulean sea blue eyes?

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rk099 · 4 months

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Ocean Odyssey: Navigating the Depths of Marine Life

The Earth's oceans, covering over 70% of the planet's surface, are a vast and mysterious realm teeming with life. From the sunlit surface waters to the dark abyssal depths, the marine environment is a diverse and interconnected ecosystem that has fascinated scientists, explorers, and nature enthusiasts for centuries.

Exploring the Abyss: Unveiling the Deep Sea Mysteries

One of the most intriguing aspects of the ocean is the deep sea, a region that remains largely unexplored. The deep ocean is a realm of extreme pressure, low temperatures, and perpetual darkness. Despite these harsh conditions, life thrives in unexpected forms. Bizarre creatures such as anglerfish with bioluminescent lures, giant squid lurking in the shadows, and elusive gulper eels have been discovered, challenging our understanding of marine biology.

The Great Migrations: Marvels of Marine Migration

Marine life exhibits incredible migratory patterns that span thousands of kilometers. Whales, known for their majestic and intelligent nature, embark on epic journeys across oceans for breeding and feeding. Sea turtles, equipped with an internal GPS, navigate across vast distances to return to their nesting sites. These migrations play a crucial role in maintaining the balance of marine ecosystems and are a testament to the resilience and adaptability of oceanic creatures.

Coral Reefs: Underwater Cities of Breathtaking Biodiversity

Beneath the sunlit surface, coral reefs stand as vibrant underwater cities, harboring an astonishing array of marine species. These delicate ecosystems provide crucial habitat for countless organisms, from the smallest fish to majestic rays and sharks. However, coral reefs are under threat due to climate change, overfishing, and pollution, highlighting the urgent need for conservation efforts to protect these biodiversity hotspots.

Oceans and Climate: A Symbiotic Relationship

The ocean plays a vital role in regulating the Earth's climate. Acting as a giant heat sink, it absorbs and stores large amounts of carbon dioxide and heat. Understanding the intricate relationship between oceans and climate is essential for addressing climate change. Rising sea levels, ocean acidification, and changes in ocean currents are some of the consequences that underscore the importance of sustainable practices to preserve the health of our oceans.

Conservation Challenges and Solutions: Preserving the Blue Heart of Our Planet

As human activities continue to impact marine ecosystems, conservation efforts have become imperative. Establishing marine protected areas, reducing plastic pollution, and promoting sustainable fishing practices are crucial steps in safeguarding the oceans. Public awareness and education play a pivotal role in inspiring collective action to ensure the long-term health and vitality of our oceans.

In conclusion, our journey through the ocean's depths reveals a captivating world of wonder and complexity. From the mysterious abyss to the vibrant coral reefs, marine life continues to astound and inspire.

#nature

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gamerworldhub · 6 months

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Disney Dreamlight Valley Locations- Fish

If you see anything that is incorrect or if there is a missing fish, let me know. The sale prices for each of these will be in a different post. Link to Fish Prices

Anglerfish- Forgotten Lands

Bass- Peaceful Meadow, Forest of Valor, Sunlit Plateau, Frosted Heights

Bream- Peaceful Meadow

Carp- Forest of Valor, Sunlit Plateau

Catfish- Peaceful Meadow

Cod- Dazzle Beach, Glade of Trust, Forgotten Lands

Crab- Frosted Heights

Fugu- Dazzle Beach

Here and There Fish- everywhere, can only be caught between 6am-10am and 6pm-10pm

Herring- Dazzle Beach, Glade of Trust

Kingfish- Dazzle Beach

Lancetfish- Forgotten Lands

Lobster- Glade of Trust

Perch- Forest of Valor, Sunlit Plateau

Pike- Forest of Valor

Rainbow Trout- Peadceful Meadow, Forest of Valor

Salmon- Sunlit Plateau, Frosted Heights

Shrimp- Dazzle Beach

Sole- Forgotten Lands

Squid- Glade of Trust, Forgotten Lands

Swordfish- Dazzle Beach

Tilapia- Sunlit Plateau, Frosted Heights

#ddlv #dlv #dreamlight valley #disney dreamlight valley #dreamlight valley fish locations #disney dreamlight valley fish locations #cozy gamer #gamer girl #gaming community #videogames #game guide #unofficial game guide #gamer help #game help #gaming guide #unofficial gaming guide

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mariacallous · 1 year

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More than three years after malign fun-fur mascot Boris Johnson first gibbered out the catchphrase, we finally have incontrovertible evidence of what “levelling up” actually is. For its duration, Johnson’s government had a flagship policy that it couldn’t have defined even if it hadn’t been drunk on the contents of a wheelie suitcase. Levelling up now turns out to be a sort of inter-constituency Squid Game, in which MPs who voted for various stripes of self-harm are now forced into trial-by-combat against each other in the hope of appealing to the caprices of shadowy gamesmaster Michael Gove. Arguably there’s an ironic wit to the format – a sort of handout for the anti-handout party, designed solely to inadequately mitigate the effects of cuts made largely by that same party. The players seem quite upset about it now, but are of course free to terminate the game if the majority votes to do so.

Or as one Conservative MP who missed out fumed yesterday: “I’ve got shops without roofs and whole streets of boarded-up houses and some people are getting cash for adventure golf.” Which is, by coincidence, exactly the picture in the political glossary next to the phrase “sunlit uplands”. Another Tory MP described the policy delivery as “a fuck-up of epic proportions”, casting it as the Stalingrad of not securing a planetarium for your northern marginal.

Having attempted to sell this policy round the country during a somewhat excruciating day yesterday, luxury menswear influencer Rishi Sunak is apparently facing a law enforcement probe for removing his seatbelt to film a video for his Insta, as part of the police’s ruthless commitment to rooting out trivial wrongdoing so that people mind less when another one of them is revealed to be a rapist. I haven’t got a huge amount to add to that sentence as an indicator of where we are on various fronts. Still, if Sunak does pick up a fine, it’ll be his second inside a year, suggesting he is on a pathway of reoffending and should submit to personal rehabilitation lessons with justice secretary Dominic Raab, who is himself facing an investigation on eight formal complaints of bullying. Again, we are where we are.

You have to wonder if Sunak makes the most credible salesman for the specific allocation of cash in this second round of disbursement, given that he took the sensationally odd decision to be filmed during the leadership campaign in July last year telling Tory members in Tunbridge Wells: “I managed to start changing the funding formulas to make sure areas like this are getting the funding they deserved. We inherited a bunch of formulas from Labour that shoved all the funding into deprived urban areas and that needed to be undone. I started the work of undoing that.”

Yesterday found Sunak in only marginally less politically imbecilic mode. I can’t personally get over-exercised about senior politicians making travel time-savings that the rest of us should obviously avoid. But Sunak’s private jet usage has got plenty of backs up, and on a political level feeds unfortunately into the impression that he is what he is: a man who can use private jets. Labour accused the prime minister of behaving “like an A-list celeb” for flying to Blackpool – something A-list celebs are forever doing, of course. I believe Sunak’s RAF flight was kept in a holding pattern while The Rock was given runway priority to hasten his latest trip to play the coin pushers on the Central Pier.

“I travel around so I can do lots of things in one day,” Sunak shot back when pushed on his arrangements. “I’m not travelling around just for my own enjoyment, although this is very enjoyable, of course.” Mm. Spoken like a man whose high-end Santa Monica residence is located in a complex that includes a pet spa. (I haven’t fully checked the levelling-up fund payouts for pet spas, but assume Guildford was successful in its bid for one.)

In general, though, do you care for Sunak’s tone? He seems to have just the two speeds: dewy-eyed prefect delivering a supposedly inspirational speech to much, much younger children; and high-financier unable to fully hide his impatience that he should be required to answer questions from lesser mortals. Neither seems immediately obviously likely to endear him to the British public. Perhaps he’s slightly helped by being up against Keir Starmer, who delivers every statement like his next one is going to be “And had you thought of a preferred wood for the casket?”

Any more pratfalls left in the tank on the PM’s day out and about? At least one, with the PM explaining he wanted to cut taxes but couldn’t, as his audience knew. “You’re not idiots,” he breezed. “You know what’s happened.” “Besides,” he went on, “when I was chancellor I also really preferred it when the prime minister didn’t comment on tax policy.”

Unfortunately for the “idiots”, the chancellor isn’t talking about tax cuts either. Instead, Jeremy Hunt could be found this week leaning fully into the latte-sipping insult his side have long weaponised, by making his own painful social media video in which he explained inflation to the masses via the medium of him ordering a flat white. Is this necessary? I know Jeremy likes to think of himself as one of Britain’s most advanced entrepreneurial brains – he ran a course-listing directory in civilian life – but we must at least consider the possibility that British people currently get a hard lesson in inflation every time they do a shop.

Anyway: on to the idiots. Only in this climate of palpable executive inadequacy could we be reading seemingly bi-weekly stories that comebacks are being planned not just by Boris Johnson, but also Liz Truss – or at least by what we’ll kindly call Liz Truss’s “ideas”, with a parliamentary group established this week with the express aim of the advancement thereof. Truss herself and her former chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng have both set up firms to manage their next steps, while Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to be joining GB News to host his own show. Johnson is being Johnson, and seems well on the way to persuading far too many MPs to give their abusive relationship with him another chance.

Behold, the architects of some of the most short-termist and self-harming policies of recent times (tough field), somehow sailing on regardless to further enrichment while everyone else lives in their mess. As for their various supporters, you have to marvel mirthlessly at the capacity for some serially imploding factions of the Conservative party to believe that their destructive ideas have simply not been done properly yet. The Tory tankies are on the march; do batten your hatches accordingly.

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discoveryplacesciencenc · 1 year

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Discovery Place Science

Uncover the mysteries of the deep blue sea when Discovery Place Science presents Unseen Oceans, and experience underwater landscapes and vibrant marine life like never before.

Beneath the sunlit surface lies a deep and mysterious world illuminated by Unseen Oceans. This multisensory exhibition takes explorers on an ocean expedition to uncover creatures and canyons previously unseen by the human eye.

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Be inspired by the scope and research of scientists in a special “Meet the Scientists” nook and learn how these explorers expand our view of marine ecosystems and uncover the role we play in protecting these brilliant habitats.

At Unseen Oceans you’ll:

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Learn about exciting new technology, including “squishy fingers” which help marine biologists take hold of objects and living things without damaging them.

Enjoy instant photo ops in a partial replica of the Triton, used while filming the BBC series Blue Planet II.

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Be sure to check out this attraction too!

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