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herstory5 · 1 year

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“Chasing the American Dream”

WARNING!!!! SPOILER ALERT!

There's no doubt that Peele’s “Nope” is a complex and bizarre film with an ensemble of characters and images puzzling to follow. C'mon, let's not pretend! Can we honestly say that we all appreciated this film at our first viewing or even after? What majority of us recognized the message? How many of us sat there in our theater seats after the movie ended perplexed? I have a tremendous degree of admiration for Peele's work, but this one went completely over my head, even more so than "Us," which took us on an unexpected psychedelic trip down the rabbit’s hole. Peele's films invite in-depth analysis due to their abundance of hidden messages, cultural references, and visceral attraction. Nonetheless, his creative imagination is yet again changing course in this feature film, and it is up to the viewers to refocus their lens.

In all honesty, I couldn't help but feel like I was seeing a film adaptation of a storyline from the National Enquirer. Literally had me saying, “Uh Mr. Peele, what the what!?” I left the theater in absolute disappointment. I'll be candid and admit that I've fallen asleep while attempting to rewatch it many times after seeing it come up on HBO Max or Peacock. Hey, don’t fault my transparency folks. However, the film's cinematic display is astounding. I cannot proclaim enough of my sincere appreciation for this African American Studies course, “The Sunken Place…” I can now confidently assert that the film is indeed relevant if you look beyond the sci-fi and supernatural elements. There are mounds of concealed traumas that are unmasking. I am certain that Peele is using his platform to leverage his own fears. Since "Get Out's" overwhelming popularity, Peele has been expected to conform to this paradigm, yet with each film he takes us on a journey unlike the previous one and consistently running the risk of losing his prominence.

Peele is reinventing what it means to be black in film. Contrary to what is often portrayed in the media, he is offering us the exact opposite. The media's previous portrayal of aliens is utterly obliterated by Peele. He's presenting a viewpoint free of racial bias. Black actors finally have a stage to highlight their talents without fear of being insulted. When I was younger, I had limited access to media that featured people who looked like me in leading roles. In doing so, Peele is once again generating new ground. Black ranch owners AND a black queer woman! YAAAS, Peele, come through with the stampede! I also want to remark just how this film's theme—the cost of chasing the American Dream—almost mirrors that of Us.

My interpretation of the repeated use of the term "NOPE" in both "Get Out" and this film suggests that it has a hidden message, much like the scatting and call-and-response techniques used by black artists. It's saying, not today, not tomorrow, it ain’t happening! Hell no! We are no longer falling victim to your white nationalist BS. The spectacle is saying, NOPE! You don’t get to chase me down for your gain. "Don't chase the spectacle" is the film's message. The pursuit of the American Dream may become so all-consuming that it distracts us from appreciating the life for what it’s truly worth. The father of Emerald and OJ was slain with a coin to the head. We can see that Peele was intending to visually emphasize the adage "Don't let money go to your head" (oooh that was deep). The father spent years and years of building a business of training horses for the film industry’s exploitation, which would eventually become his fatal demise.

Let’s take Gordy as an illustration. He's a "monkey," a derogatory term that has a long history of being used against people of African descent. The spectacle that is Gordy is intriguing because of his allure, and he is being exploited for the television executives, cast and crew’s financial gain. His image reflects the African American experience symbolically. Let’s delve into his presumed traumatic backstory. He was taken captive after an abduction in which, most likely, firearms were used. What else would you expect from an experience of that magnitude? PTSD! For Gordy, the answer was a resounding "NOPE!" Let's assume the bursting balloons were the trigger. When you least expect it, how many of you will jump when you hear a balloon burst? Imagine the repressed memories that were triggered by that sound, which reminded him so vividly of his captivity.

Jupe's backstory and the way he lives presently functions as a physical embodiment of “Nope's” central themes and making him almost a co-protagonist of the film. He takes pleasure in revisiting his trauma, but he also has trouble coming to terms with the residual effects of Gordy’s rampage. He has turned his traumatic experience into an income stream, but this will ultimately be his demise. He is responsible for bringing this creature to Emerald, OJ, since he thinks he has some sort of cosmic connection to it. He failed to learn the crucial lesson from Gordy that you cannot objectify or exploit a supernatural entity or animal, just as he does with the Haywood’s horses and the creature. “Everything that glitters is not gold,” is a valuable lesson that Jupe did not learn. Like Jupe, Emerald, and OJ, with the help of two new friends, started following the spectacle. Like Jupe and their father, they were completely absorbed in the pursuit of the same thing that threatened to upend their lives. As I alluded to before, the film is saturated with a running theme of trauma. Comparably, the film's main antagonist (the creature aka “Jean Jacket”) personifies the notion of spectacle.

To quote one of the films' most powerful lines: "This dream that you're chasing at the top of the mountain, it's the one you never wakeup from." The ultimate sacrifice of reaping the “Oprah shot” comes with at a heavy cost. It's fair to assert that the "Oprah shot" is a metaphor for the "American Dream," and that the concept of the "American Dream"—and the many ways in which people pursue it—can be the true antagonist.

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ramyeonpng · 2 years

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Lucy (The Egg Girl) is having a struggle day today and going to have a nice cold shower, moisturize and lie down with a good book. How do you take care of yourself?

https://medium.com/the-brain-is-a-noodle/sunken-cost-bias-852b776cd951 / #poetry

#self care #poetry #poem #quotes #struggle days

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convivialdave · 7 years

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Sunken Cost Bias is the tendency to support a bad decision over time, especially pernicious in mergers and acquisitions. You have to be cold and clinical in knowing when to pull the plug, regardless of loss. This runs straight into the psychology of loss aversion on an individual level. No offense to Mr. Leaf of course [original photo courtesy of Getty Images, used without permission]

#sunken cost #sunken cost bias #management

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insecure-hbo-recaps · 7 years

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hella shook

Previously: Issa wanted to get a roster going. Molly for some reason didn't know what it was about Sterling K Brown. Dro's marriage was open. Lawrence was used as a prop for a racist threesome. He lied about it. Issa and Daniel made amends.

Issa's in traffic in her fairly new model car I might add. She is on her phone at every red light and doesn't notice that she's on E. She's wearing a black and white cookie coat, look at this:

Ees! Jesus. She stops at exactly 9:45 cents because she's poor. She finally makes it to her destination, serving up a "special delivery, sir" for Daniel. They awkwardly joke about how silly she's being and he opens the door with a smug smile. They're very attuned and cute and happy and whatnot.

Hey! They got honeycomb towers in LA too, apparently. Unless this is a scene where Molly is skyping with Quintin in Chicago, which the immediate shot of an L lets me know it is. See?

God I fucking love my city. That's the green line by the way. (If you're not familiar with Chicago, this is what I mean by "honeycomb towers":)

They're downtown near State and Kinzie, where I once went out with a professor from Boston who I thought looked like Mark Zuckerberg. (Public House is the bar there.) We watched the world series where the red sox won that year and it had been such a fun date, I was really disappointed when I never heard from him again. Oh well - in hindsight whatever I wore is probably not something I would wear now.

Molly is actually in Chicago this time, and Quintin is helping her keep the associates straight. He's wearing a tan vest and Malcolm X glasses and is it this show or somewhere else where they make jokes about a preacher body? Because good grief if I don't think of an old timey Civil Rights Movement era preacher every time I see him, lol. Molly points out there's a lot of black people at this office, and Quintin says he doesn't understand how she could work in the LA office; it reminds him of why he went to Howard.

Quintin asks whether Molly has said anything about her pay inequality but Molly hasn't. He asks why she isn't considering leaving, because their firm is not the only fish in the sea. Obviously this has never occurred to Molly. It's like she gets blinders on about certain things she thinks are acceptable or that she should want or be doing, and is incapable of considering any options outside of that. Apparently Molly is stuck in a sunken cost fallacy, which means you end up sticking out a situation that has long since expired just because you've already invested so much time into it already. Quintin encouages her to consider her options. Oh, there's the "pastor's body" joke. He really does look like a pastor.

Back in LA, Issa is getting dressed while Daniel is still in bed watching Due North. He asks whether she has plans the next night, but Issa demurs, unsure of his intentions. Daniel's body is insane.

Elsewhere, Lawrence is on a run with his coworkers, the blonde and Arpana. He won't be at work the next day because he has jury duty. Another coworker shows up and we get the exposition that they are training for a marathon. I know people hang out with their coworkers like this but I am antisocial and weird so I never do and never have, which sucks. This is how most people make friends as adults.

Molly is back home now. At her apartment, she and Issa are preparing floral arrangements for Molly's parents' vow renewal. Issa can't make it because she has a "work retreat." Daniel texts, and off the look on Issa's face, Molly inquires about it. Issa tries to play it off, but Molly knows this is not nothing. "Daniel and I have history, but we always bounce back." Molly is skeptical that either of them can do this without catching feelings, but Issa insists none of that is on her agenda right now: she has Daniel, "Neighbor Bae," and a Latino man she is going out with that night.

Meanwhile, at jury duty, Lawrence gets a text from Derek inviting him to his birthday party. Lawrence hesitates, assuming Issa will be there, but agrees to go. Bored, he scrolls through his facebook and happens across a photo from the night of the Kiss and Grind party; apparently Kelli's pic accidentallycaught Issa smiling and chatting with Daniel in the background.

Now that is a stroke of bad luck. Lawrence is so distracted by this news he barely hears them call him for briefing.

Back at the We Got Y'all offices, the supervisor is expositing that they have a director position open. Naturally the overeager white dude thinks this is his time to shine. They are going to be having a retreat Saturday morning and wants everyone to partner up. Issa looks over at Frieda who awkwardly looks away. Issa decides to brush it off, but when she whispers a joke and Frieda continues to look uncomfortable, the smile slides off Issa's face.

She follows Frieda to the breakroom, asking to talk. Frieda tensely explains that she isn't comfortable with what's happening at the school, but Issa still doesn't see a problem. This was around the time I started to think Issa was in the wrong the first time I saw this season... not because Issa is siding with bigotry but because she doesn't know better than to talk frankly about racism with whites in the workplace. That fact that Issa was so clueless as to be straightforward with a Clueless White Person on the thing that they fear most - an issue concerning race where they may be even indirectly accused of being a GASP racist - just sort of underlined for me that she was compounding a wrong instead of fixing it. "It must be nice to have the privilege to choose to be upset over this," Issa says, and the fact that she doesn't back down lets Frieda get the moral high ground.

Inglewood. Molly is at her parents' place unloading flowers for the renewal. Dro is her childhood next door neighbor and he is there to a.) celebrate Molly's parent's marriage and b.) smooth things over about basically asking her to take part in his open marriage. He asks if she never thought of him like that; "I mean yeah maybe for a minute when you had your colored contacts on," Molly says. Light skints aren't still in style anymore are they? Exoticals for men is always kind of a weird area, I think.

Molly says she's thought about it, but the marriage thing "is just not how" she sees her life. Dro is cool with that and they agree to stay friends, ribbing each other like only childhood friends can do.

Jury Duty. There's black woman who answers a question about "bias against police" by standing up to reveal her Black Lives Matter t-shirt that I'm unclear whether or not she meant it or just wanted to get out of jury duty. "Not buying it," the judge says, but the juror is dismissed. Lawrence is scrolling through Daniel's gram while all this happens.

Back at Molly's, her mom is saying something about the dollar store champagne flutes she bought, and what is with moms and dollar stores? My momma loves her some dollar store home goods. They lightly push Molly, as you do your children, about when she's getting married. Mom wants to know what's the hold up but Dad knows Molly isn't going to settle. Apparently Molly has a brother, or two brothers, or a gay brother, I'm unclear. I think one of them is famous for something or other though.

Date night. Issa shows up at a low lit ambient bar looking for Mexican bae. "Come through, Tinder," she says when she spots him. She's wearing a tight blue dress and a TWA. Mexican bae seems like he's in his late 30s. Issa's inner monologue horndogs about horchata. Bruh, rumchata is delicious. I haven't managed to buy it myself yet because that shit costs like 20$ but it tastes just like Christmas. And like, really good bread pudding. I should try to buy it at least for the holidays. Anyway, Issa is fantasizing about boning him right on the bar.

We know he's a good guy because he says isn't a martini guy and they joke about comics. I can't with how comic book lore has taken over American entertainment. I liked the Tobey Maguire Spider Mans but now there's like 18 in-universe comic book shows on TV and like four comic book movies at any given time... I honestly thought the comic book thing would have faded a long time ago by now and we'd be back to some other mythical fan lore like angels and ghosts again. (Zombie lore is still popular, and I think vampire lore is still hanging ten, so we need to go to demons or the undead or something.) They eventually move to another table, signifying that the date has lasted a few hours. The waiter brings by the check and Issa does the fake purse grab. You know, I used to adamantly refuse to do that (and the one time I was *asked* to split was by a nerdy black dude I met in a hipster dive who approached me by asking if I was latina - I must emphasize that I do not look latina whatsoever), like even pretend like I was going to pay. Now, I just offer to split. I usually never have to still, which is good, but also, I'm not poor anymore either so. My thing now is taking care to note that the waitress puts the check on the guy's side instead of in the middle - that's when I know the universe wants me to feel good about myself.

Anyway, they have had a good night and Issa is clearly thinking about asking him back to her place. But, we know he's a Good Guy because he says he can't, "but this is an excuse for us to do this again!"

Saturday morning work retreat. There's a generic snack bar set up. Issa is texting with Daniel, after canceling on him because of her date the previous night. Anyway the work team does a boring team building exercise so that the Clueless White People can make Clueless White People assumptions about the kind of trouble kids might be having at home. Issa and Frieda take a few passive aggressive jabs at each other and when it's time to pair up Frieda quickly finds someone else, leaving Issa stuck with Sujata Day. I don't know if she's supposed to be Indian in this one.

Vow Renewal. Apparently Molly decided to invite Sterling K Brown who is wearing a crazy colorful suit like only a person whose body has been altered to look good in Hollywood could do:

Molly's wig actually does look good, don't mind the screenshot. Dro and his parents show up (his dad is latino, his mom is ambiguous brown). Dro hangs around as his parents walk off and Sterling K Brown possessively wraps an arm around Molly, who introduces them. Just so you know that this is going on:

Do y'all take notice of stuff like this or no? Men, even men who are supposedly friends with each other, I find pull rank like this in front of women all the time. I was seeing a guy and one night we were hanging out with his roommate. They went outside to smoke and I tagged along. My dude and I were sharing his cigarette (I don't smoke but I find this sort of thing cute) and the other guy offered me his. My dude didn't think anything of it, but it's little shit like that that always feels like to me men are playing ego games with each other and/or always prepared to slide in the DMs of someone else's girl. (I also tend to think everyone is hitting on me, so that bias tends to reinterpret things.) But, it's the subtlety. And I think if more people paid attention they'd notice things like this more often. At any rate, Sterling K Brown is clearly glad to be there with Molly and possibly senses that Dro is a threat. They all play polite and it's only mildly awkward.

At a bar across town, Lawrence is having drinks with Derek and grilling him for information about Issa and Daniel. Ha. That's way more straightforward than he usually is when he talks to Chad. Derek says that after Tasha, he and Tiffany had to stop discussing them because they always took sides. Lawrence is preoccupied and insecure about Issa seeing Daniel now... maybe she had been seeing him the entire time? Derek says Issa is too dorky to be sneaky. "That's exactly why you wouldn't expect it," Lawrence says. He clearly is reiminaging their entire relationship and second guessing what he thought it was.

"Honestly... this ain't all on Issa," Derek says. "You spent two years unemployed, not doing shit, letting your woman take care of you. Kinda left the door open." Lawrence does that thing of rotating his jaw and accepts this silently. He tries to say it doesn't justify cheating, but Derek says he understands why she would be attracted to someone who could make things happen.

Vow renewal. Molly's brother or whatever asks "is that you?" and HA! Haven't heard that in ages. "So it's a pity date?" he asks. Molly lists off his positive qualities and how she wants to give it a shot. Her brother says just because she dates a good guy that doesn't translate into a relationship. Her brother (no, her brother's best friend) apparently is married to a stripper that trapped him. He tells Molly if she isn't feeling him she shouldn't date him. And because Molly has no understanding of what she wants out of a relationship or from men generally, this is the point where she no longer understands if she should be on a date with Sterling K Brown. He doesn't deserve this.

Bathroom. Issa calls her brother to check whether or not she might be in the wrong with the situation with Frieda. Check out this gloriously dressed fashion forward ass nigga:

Issa's brother doesn't tell her what she wants to hear so she hangs up in his face. To make herself feel better, she responds to a random sext from Neighbor Bae, sending back a nude before she gets busted by Mrs. Frizzle. Issa, at least go into the stall.

Molly is partially hosting this party, so she goes to greet a couple of great aunts. As nosy older black women, they immediately start inquiring about the delicious slice of man she chose to parade around this family event. Which... if you're not sure if you want to date a guy, don't fucking bring him to a parent-centered family event maybe. The aunts start talking about how amazing it is that Molly's parent's marriage lasted 35 years "after what he put my sister through." This is news to Molly.

Issa is texting at a red light when she misses it turn green. A "Potential Bae" sends her a dick pic and she rear ends the car in front of her. This is where I stopped being on Issa's team. No woman, no self possessed black woman, has any business being so distracted by dick she would open herself up to litigation, the loss of transportation, and unspecified auto repair. Like, I can no longer abide this level of thirst. This was when Issa went too far. Also, I spared you a screenshot of the dick pic.

Back that the renewal, Molly is grilling her brother about the state of her parents' marriage. It turns out that Dad cheated on Mom and "they worked through it." Molly seems almost more offended that her mom put up with it than her dad cheated at all. And this is the part where Yvonne Orji had to do an emotional scene. And it was so bad it threatened to diminish my enjoyment of the rest of the series so what you need to know is: 1. the acting here is really really bad, so bad I don't know how they didn't insist on more takes and/or cut away often enough so that you didn't notice how bad it was and b. Molly can't deal with the reality that there is no such thing as a fairy tale relationship. Not all relationships have cheating but a fuckton of them do, so everyone needs to just chill. Also, remind me at a later date to tell you about how I recently found out a guy I had been seeing was married and his wife had their first kid earlier this year. It was fucking horrid. (This is not an endorsement from the "All Men Cheat" school of logic as I, personally, have never been cheated on in a relationship.)

Sterling K Brown tries to console Molly but she stomps away, leaving Dro to chase after her. Bitch move. Molly's being an asshole all around. Bitch, how are you whining about relationships when you left your fucking date at a party at your parents' house to leave with another dude? Molly is way out of line here, and her behavior deserves no sympathy at all.

Issa calls Daniel to let him know she can't make it tonight because she got into a car accident. He offers to pick her up. She tries to beg off but he insists, and his caring and eagerness to help is good to see. One of the worst things about being an introverted holier than thou asshole is that whenever I need help, it always hits me really hard that I really have no one to call.

Meanwhile, this is Lawrence's Saturday night:

GOD those are the worst, lol. He sits there ruminating for awhile and finally defriends. "I don't wanna see this shit," Lawrence thinks.

Dro is driving Molly home. So... she just gone leave her car (and her date) in the interests of her thirst or what? Because I'm not buying that she's so distraught she just needed to get home despite the common decency of leaving on no notice like that. You wanted to provoke Dro's dick and we all know it. No smoothing over on this ridiculous behavior, Molly. She continues being all "distraught," and while I have to offer points for the damsel and distress routine in principle, I believe in polite society more, so be thirsty on your own time, not when it inconveniences or hurts someone else. Molly laments how she spends all her time trying to find someone like her dad only to find out their marriage is bullshit. I suppose if I had grown up in a married two parent household it would come as news to me, too, that parents can be just as ain't shit as anyone else. Still. I find this childish. Dro lends a sympathetic ear and Molly eats it up.

Daniel shows up to pick up Issa and gives her a hug in reassurance since she's just been in a car accident. Instead of abiding this silently where even if she doesn't want it she can use it to her advantage at a later date, Issa decides to be clear that Daniel knows they are not dating only each other and are both seeing other people. Issa isn't sure if she was as up front about that as she should have been the last time they slept together. Daniel reacts disappointedly in a way that telegraphs he did not know that was what they were doing. On the other hand, I feel like men pull this shit a lot and maybe it was good for him to know he isn't the only fish in her pond. Idk. On this issue I have erred toward casual probably more often than I should have, to regretful effects, so for me the jury is out on that.

Dro walks Molly to her door and her building is so lovely. Oh, it turns out Dro drove Molly's car home. That kinda makes it even more shitty that she left Sterling K Brown? When Dro goes to leave, because we must be overtly aware of the stupid and ridiculous choices they make, she pulls him back and kisses him. Then we cut to them boning a second later. Excellent sex scene. Extremely poor choice.

#insecure hbo #issa rae

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andreacaskey · 5 years

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Legacy Models Shackle Digital Transformation and Strangle Innovation

Digital transformation has certainly achieved buzzword status. Yet, by its very nature, digital transformation can be among the most important catalysts for business modernization and innovation. The difference between where we are and where we need to be is separated by purpose and vision. If we can see and work beyond the “digital” in digital transformation, we can model the business of the future today. That’s the hard part.

In the early phases of “The Six Stages of Digital Transformation,” companies tend overly emphasis the digital infrastructure of transformation. It’s completely understandable and normal. CIOs and IT have significant obstacles to clear as they also explore new horizons for innovative platforms and models. One such obstruction is getting some notable (and helpful) airtime lately, the role legacy models and systems play in impeding progress.

I recently spoke to TechRepublic’s Macy Bayern on the subject and I wanted to share our conversation with you here. Please also read her article, “How to best handle legacy models during a digital transformation.”

Legacy models are one of the biggest obstacles in achieving digital transformation.

Macy Bayern: What is legacy technology?

Brian: Legacy technologies are comprised of aging or outdated systems that once served as the foundation for business scale and automation. They are also the shackles that hold digital transformation and innovation back as they’re integrated, complicated, expensive and often tied to critical business processes.

Macy: How can legacy models be holding businesses back?

Brian: These investments is past systems are literally hard-wired into existing business infrastructure. These legacy systems are keepers of relevant business data and logic that can guide future investments and also debilitate the organization should anything become compromised. However, legacy technologies also expose legacy operational models and executive mindsets about the role of technology within the organization. In the past, IT largely owned tech while business owners and stakeholders were also siloed throughout the enterprise. Legacy technologies were often driven by legacy thinking in how technology was viewed to play a part in business enablement. Scale, automation, industry trends and vendor relationships were prominent considerations during investments but weren’t always in alignment with market evolution, innovation and disruption. At some point, sunken cost bias or other cognitive biases in general would prevent the ability or sense of urgency to upgrade or rip and replace technologies in exchange for systems that would allow businesses to keep pace with the speed of market evolution. I call this digital Darwinism, the state of any organization and its investments in evolution as technology, markets and societies also evolve.

Macy: How can legacy models disrupt digital transformation efforts?

Brian: Legacy models are thwarting innovation as they continue to require great resources, time and internal expertise. This often comes at the cost of lost business opportunities, market stature and also employee morale. Companies aren’t able to keep up with innovative technologies and as such, project an aura of outdated or worse, obsolete standards in customer experience and employee experience compared to industry innovators. The infrastructure literally becomes vulnerable to disruption as security, costs, and experiences are increasingly compromised. Innovation is all the work you do to conform to expectations and aspirations of people as they evolve instead of making them conform to your legacy perspectives, assumptions, processes and metrics of success.

Brian Solis, Author, Keynote Speaker, Futurist

Brian Solis is principal analyst and futurist at Altimeter, the digital analyst group at Prophet, Brian is a world renowned keynote speakerand 8x best-selling author. In his new book, Lifescale: How to live a more creative, productive and happy life, Brian tackles the struggles of living in a world rife with constant digital distractions. His model for “Lifescaling” helps readers overcome the unforeseen consequences of living a digital life to break away from diversions, focus on what’s important, spark newfound creativity and unlock new possibilities. His previous book, X: The Experience When Business Meets Design, explores the future of brand and customer engagement through experience design.

Invite him to speak at your next event or bring him in to your organization to inspire colleagues, executives and boards of directors.

Follow Brian Solis!

Twitter: @briansolis Facebook: TheBrianSolis LinkedIn: BrianSolis Instagram: BrianSolis Pinterest: BrianSolis Youtube: BrianSolisTV Newsletter: Please Subscribe

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Photo Credit: Drew Beamer @drew_beamer, Unsplash.com

The post Legacy Models Shackle Digital Transformation and Strangle Innovation appeared first on Brian Solis.

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ramyeongif · 1 year

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A thousand sunsets have come and gone - I thought I was ready to speak.

#poetry

#poetry #poem #sunken cost bias #thoughts #coping

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insecure-hbo-the-recaps · 6 years

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hella shook

Previously: Issa wanted to get a roster going. Molly for some reason didn’t know what it was about Sterling K Brown. Dro’s marriage was open. Lawrence was used as a prop for a racist threesome. He lied about it. Issa and Daniel made amends.

Issa’s in traffic in her fairly new model car I might add. She is on her phone at every red light and doesn’t notice that she’s on E. She’s wearing a black and white cookie coat, look at this:

Ees! Jesus. She stops at exactly 9:45 cents because she’s poor. She finally makes it to her destination, serving up a “special delivery, sir” for Daniel. They awkwardly joke about how silly she’s being and he opens the door with a smug smile. They’re very attuned and cute and happy and whatnot.

Hey! They got honeycomb towers in LA too, apparently. Unless this is a scene where Molly is skyping with Quintin in Chicago, which the immediate shot of an L lets me know it is. See?

God I fucking love my city. That’s the green line by the way. (If you’re not familiar with Chicago, this is what I mean by “honeycomb towers”:)

They’re downtown near State and Kinzie, where I once went out with a professor from Boston who I thought looked like Mark Zuckerberg. (Public House is the bar there.) We watched the world series where the red sox won that year and it had been such a fun date, I was really disappointed when I never heard from him again. Oh well - in hindsight whatever I wore is probably not something I would wear now.

Molly is actually in Chicago this time, and Quintin is helping her keep the associates straight. He’s wearing a tan vest and Malcolm X glasses and is it this show or somewhere else where they make jokes about a preacher body? Because good grief if I don’t think of an old timey Civil Rights Movement era preacher every time I see him, lol. Molly points out there’s a lot of black people at this office, and Quintin says he doesn’t understand how she could work in the LA office; it reminds him of why he went to Howard.

Quintin asks whether Molly has said anything about her pay inequality but Molly hasn’t. He asks why she isn’t considering leaving, because their firm is not the only fish in the sea. Obviously this has never occurred to Molly. It’s like she gets blinders on about certain things she thinks are acceptable or that she should want or be doing, and is incapable of considering any options outside of that. Apparently Molly is stuck in a sunken cost fallacy, which means you end up sticking out a situation that has long since expired just because you’ve already invested so much time into it already. Quintin encouages her to consider her options. Oh, there’s the “pastor’s body” joke. He really does look like a pastor.

Back in LA, Issa is getting dressed while Daniel is still in bed watching Due North. He asks whether she has plans the next night, but Issa demurs, unsure of his intentions. Daniel’s body is insane.

Elsewhere, Lawrence is on a run with his coworkers, the blonde and Arpana. He won’t be at work the next day because he has jury duty. Another coworker shows up and we get the exposition that they are training for a marathon. I know people hang out with their coworkers like this but I am antisocial and weird so I never do and never have, which sucks. This is how most people make friends as adults.

Molly is back home now. At her apartment, she and Issa are preparing floral arrangements for Molly’s parents’ vow renewal. Issa can’t make it because she has a “work retreat.” Daniel texts, and off the look on Issa’s face, Molly inquires about it. Issa tries to play it off, but Molly knows this is not nothing. “Daniel and I have history, but we always bounce back.” Molly is skeptical that either of them can do this without catching feelings, but Issa insists none of that is on her agenda right now: she has Daniel, “Neighbor Bae,” and a Latino man she is going out with that night.

Meanwhile, at jury duty, Lawrence gets a text from Derek inviting him to his birthday party. Lawrence hesitates, assuming Issa will be there, but agrees to go. Bored, he scrolls through his facebook and happens across a photo from the night of the Kiss and Grind party; apparently Kelli’s pic accidentallycaught Issa smiling and chatting with Daniel in the background.

Now that is a stroke of bad luck. Lawrence is so distracted by this news he barely hears them call him for briefing.

She follows Frieda to the breakroom, asking to talk. Frieda tensely explains that she isn’t comfortable with what’s happening at the school, but Issa still doesn’t see a problem. This was around the time I started to think Issa was in the wrong the first time I saw this season… not because Issa is siding with bigotry but because she doesn’t know better than to talk frankly about racism with whites in the workplace. That fact that Issa was so clueless as to be straightforward with a Clueless White Person on the thing that they fear most - an issue concerning race where they may be even indirectly accused of being a GASP racist - just sort of underlined for me that she was compounding a wrong instead of fixing it. “It must be nice to have the privilege to choose to be upset over this,” Issa says, and the fact that she doesn’t back down lets Frieda get the moral high ground.

Inglewood. Molly is at her parents’ place unloading flowers for the renewal. Dro is her childhood next door neighbor and he is there to a.) celebrate Molly’s parent’s marriage and b.) smooth things over about basically asking her to take part in his open marriage. He asks if she never thought of him like that; “I mean yeah maybe for a minute when you had your colored contacts on,” Molly says. Light skints aren’t still in style anymore are they? Exoticals for men is always kind of a weird area, I think.

Molly says she’s thought about it, but the marriage thing “is just not how” she sees her life. Dro is cool with that and they agree to stay friends, ribbing each other like only childhood friends can do.

Jury Duty. There’s black woman who answers a question about “bias against police” by standing up to reveal her Black Lives Matter t-shirt that I’m unclear whether or not she meant it or just wanted to get out of jury duty. “Not buying it,” the judge says, but the juror is dismissed. Lawrence is scrolling through Daniel’s gram while all this happens.

Back at Molly’s, her mom is saying something about the dollar store champagne flutes she bought, and what is with moms and dollar stores? My momma loves her some dollar store home goods. They lightly push Molly, as you do your children, about when she’s getting married. Mom wants to know what’s the hold up but Dad knows Molly isn’t going to settle. Apparently Molly has a brother, or two brothers, or a gay brother, I’m unclear. I think one of them is famous for something or other though.

Date night. Issa shows up at a low lit ambient bar looking for Mexican bae. “Come through, Tinder,” she says when she spots him. She’s wearing a tight blue dress and a TWA. Mexican bae seems like he’s in his late 30s. Issa’s inner monologue horndogs about horchata. Bruh, rumchata is delicious. I haven’t managed to buy it myself yet because that shit costs like 20$ but it tastes just like Christmas. And like, really good bread pudding. I should try to buy it at least for the holidays. Anyway, Issa is fantasizing about boning him right on the bar.

We know he’s a good guy because he says isn’t a martini guy and they joke about comics. I can’t with how comic book lore has taken over American entertainment. I liked the Tobey Maguire Spider Mans but now there’s like 18 in-universe comic book shows on TV and like four comic book movies at any given time… I honestly thought the comic book thing would have faded a long time ago by now and we’d be back to some other mythical fan lore like angels and ghosts again. (Zombie lore is still popular, and I think vampire lore is still hanging ten, so we need to go to demons or the undead or something.) They eventually move to another table, signifying that the date has lasted a few hours. The waiter brings by the check and Issa does the fake purse grab. You know, I used to adamantly refuse to do that (and the one time I was *asked* to split was by a nerdy black dude I met in a hipster dive who approached me by asking if I was latina - I must emphasize that I do not look latina whatsoever), like even pretend like I was going to pay. Now, I just offer to split. I usually never have to still, which is good, but also, I’m not poor anymore either so. My thing now is taking care to note that the waitress puts the check on the guy’s side instead of in the middle - that’s when I know the universe wants me to feel good about myself.

Anyway, they have had a good night and Issa is clearly thinking about asking him back to her place. But, we know he’s a Good Guy because he says he can’t, “but this is an excuse for us to do this again!”

Saturday morning work retreat. There’s a generic snack bar set up. Issa is texting with Daniel, after canceling on him because of her date the previous night. Anyway the work team does a boring team building exercise so that the Clueless White People can make Clueless White People assumptions about the kind of trouble kids might be having at home. Issa and Frieda take a few passive aggressive jabs at each other and when it’s time to pair up Frieda quickly finds someone else, leaving Issa stuck with Sujata Day. I don’t know if she’s supposed to be Indian in this one.

Vow Renewal. Apparently Molly decided to invite Sterling K Brown who is wearing a crazy colorful suit like only a person whose body has been altered to look good in Hollywood could do:

Molly’s wig actually does look good, don’t mind the screenshot. Dro and his parents show up (his dad is latino, his mom is ambiguous brown). Dro hangs around as his parents walk off and Sterling K Brown possessively wraps an arm around Molly, who introduces them. Just so you know that this is going on:

Do y'all take notice of stuff like this or no? Men, even men who are supposedly friends with each other, I find pull rank like this in front of women all the time. I was seeing a guy and one night we were hanging out with his roommate. They went outside to smoke and I tagged along. My dude and I were sharing his cigarette (I don’t smoke but I find this sort of thing cute) and the other guy offered me his. My dude didn’t think anything of it, but it’s little shit like that that always feels like to me men are playing ego games with each other and/or always prepared to slide in the DMs of someone else’s girl. (I also tend to think everyone is hitting on me, so that bias tends to reinterpret things.) But, it’s the subtlety. And I think if more people paid attention they’d notice things like this more often. At any rate, Sterling K Brown is clearly glad to be there with Molly and possibly senses that Dro is a threat. They all play polite and it’s only mildly awkward.

At a bar across town, Lawrence is having drinks with Derek and grilling him for information about Issa and Daniel. Ha. That’s way more straightforward than he usually is when he talks to Chad. Derek says that after Tasha, he and Tiffany had to stop discussing them because they always took sides. Lawrence is preoccupied and insecure about Issa seeing Daniel now… maybe she had been seeing him the entire time? Derek says Issa is too dorky to be sneaky. “That’s exactly why you wouldn’t expect it,” Lawrence says. He clearly is reiminaging their entire relationship and second guessing what he thought it was.

“Honestly… this ain’t all on Issa,” Derek says. “You spent two years unemployed, not doing shit, letting your woman take care of you. Kinda left the door open.” Lawrence does that thing of rotating his jaw and accepts this silently. He tries to say it doesn’t justify cheating, but Derek says he understands why she would be attracted to someone who could make things happen.

Vow renewal. Molly’s brother or whatever asks “is that you?” and HA! Haven’t heard that in ages. “So it’s a pity date?” he asks. Molly lists off his positive qualities and how she wants to give it a shot. Her brother says just because she dates a good guy that doesn’t translate into a relationship. Her brother (no, her brother’s best friend) apparently is married to a stripper that trapped him. He tells Molly if she isn’t feeling him she shouldn’t date him. And because Molly has no understanding of what she wants out of a relationship or from men generally, this is the point where she no longer understands if she should be on a date with Sterling K Brown. He doesn’t deserve this.

Bathroom. Issa calls her brother to check whether or not she might be in the wrong with the situation with Frieda. Check out this gloriously dressed fashion forward ass nigga:

Issa’s brother doesn’t tell her what she wants to hear so she hangs up in his face. To make herself feel better, she responds to a random sext from Neighbor Bae, sending back a nude before she gets busted by Mrs. Frizzle. Issa, at least go into the stall.

Molly is partially hosting this party, so she goes to greet a couple of great aunts. As nosy older black women, they immediately start inquiring about the delicious slice of man she chose to parade around this family event. Which… if you’re not sure if you want to date a guy, don’t fucking bring him to a parent-centered family event maybe. The aunts start talking about how amazing it is that Molly’s parent’s marriage lasted 35 years “after what he put my sister through.” This is news to Molly.

Issa is texting at a red light when she misses it turn green. A “Potential Bae” sends her a dick pic and she rear ends the car in front of her. This is where I stopped being on Issa’s team. No woman, no self possessed black woman, has any business being so distracted by dick she would open herself up to litigation, the loss of transportation, and unspecified auto repair. Like, I can no longer abide this level of thirst. This was when Issa went too far. Also, I spared you a screenshot of the dick pic.

Back that the renewal, Molly is grilling her brother about the state of her parents’ marriage. It turns out that Dad cheated on Mom and “they worked through it.” Molly seems almost more offended that her mom put up with it than her dad cheated at all. And this is the part where Yvonne Orji had to do an emotional scene. And it was so bad it threatened to diminish my enjoyment of the rest of the series so what you need to know is: 1. the acting here is really really bad, so bad I don’t know how they didn’t insist on more takes and/or cut away often enough so that you didn’t notice how bad it was and b. Molly can’t deal with the reality that there is no such thing as a fairy tale relationship. Not all relationships have cheating but a fuckton of them do, so everyone needs to just chill. Also, remind me at a later date to tell you about how I recently found out a guy I had been seeing was married and his wife had their first kid earlier this year. It was fucking horrid. (This is not an endorsement from the “All Men Cheat” school of logic as I, personally, have never been cheated on in a relationship.)

Sterling K Brown tries to console Molly but she stomps away, leaving Dro to chase after her. Bitch move. Molly’s being an asshole all around. Bitch, how are you whining about relationships when you left your fucking date at a party at your parents’ house to leave with another dude? Molly is way out of line here, and her behavior deserves no sympathy at all.

Issa calls Daniel to let him know she can’t make it tonight because she got into a car accident. He offers to pick her up. She tries to beg off but he insists, and his caring and eagerness to help is good to see. One of the worst things about being an introverted holier than thou asshole is that whenever I need help, it always hits me really hard that I really have no one to call.

Meanwhile, this is Lawrence’s Saturday night:

GOD those are the worst, lol. He sits there ruminating for awhile and finally defriends. “I don’t wanna see this shit,” Lawrence thinks.

Dro is driving Molly home. So… she just gone leave her car (and her date) in the interests of her thirst or what? Because I’m not buying that she’s so distraught she just needed to get home despite the common decency of leaving on no notice like that. You wanted to provoke Dro’s dick and we all know it. No smoothing over on this ridiculous behavior, Molly. She continues being all “distraught,” and while I have to offer points for the damsel and distress routine in principle, I believe in polite society more, so be thirsty on your own time, not when it inconveniences or hurts someone else. Molly laments how she spends all her time trying to find someone like her dad only to find out their marriage is bullshit. I suppose if I had grown up in a married two parent household it would come as news to me, too, that parents can be just as ain’t shit as anyone else. Still. I find this childish. Dro lends a sympathetic ear and Molly eats it up.

Daniel shows up to pick up Issa and gives her a hug in reassurance since she’s just been in a car accident. Instead of abiding this silently where even if she doesn’t want it she can use it to her advantage at a later date, Issa decides to be clear that Daniel knows they are not dating only each other and are both seeing other people. Issa isn’t sure if she was as up front about that as she should have been the last time they slept together. Daniel reacts disappointedly in a way that telegraphs he did not know that was what they were doing. On the other hand, I feel like men pull this shit a lot and maybe it was good for him to know he isn’t the only fish in her pond. Idk. On this issue I have erred toward casual probably more often than I should have, to regretful effects, so for me the jury is out on that.

Dro walks Molly to her door and her building is so lovely. Oh, it turns out Dro drove Molly’s car home. That kinda makes it even more shitty that she left Sterling K Brown? When Dro goes to leave, because we must be overtly aware of the stupid and ridiculous choices they make, she pulls him back and kisses him. Then we cut to them boning a second later. Excellent sex scene. Extremely poor choice.

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grouchydairy · 2 years

Quote

It wasn’t until Greg Mckeown’s Essentialism book where he introduced the concept of "sunken cost bias" that I shifted my perspective. When faced with situations where we’ve already invested time and money, we sometimes want to stick with something to "get our money’s worth". Which typically has us throwing more money at something that isn’t worth it.

https://medium.com/the-brain-is-a-noodle/why-i-ended-my-talkspace-online-therapy-subscription-3b9c890688d5 / #MentalHealth

#mental health #greg mckeown #sunken cost bias #therapy #online therapy

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eggwhiteswithspinach · 2 years

Quote

Poetry Prompt: Think about what you’re hoping to let go or accept this week. Craft your poem around this intention.

https://medium.com/the-brain-is-a-noodle/sunken-cost-bias-852b776cd951 / #poetry

#poetry #poem #poetry prompt #accept #letting go

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ramyeonpng · 2 years

Quote

This has been such a costly endeavour, but I look to the sunrise -

https://medium.com/the-brain-is-a-noodle/sunken-cost-bias-852b776cd951 / #poetry

#poetry #poem #quotes #sunrise #costly

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tripstations · 5 years

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Discovering Thailand’s hidden islands | Daily Mail Online

There are a whopping 1,430 islands in Thailand. Many of the more famous ones have become clogged with tourists, but there are plenty that dance to a different tune, offering affordable accommodation, sublime beaches and full-on relaxation.

Here, Hannah Summers explores our pick of the hidden gems…

Off the beaten track

Hidden treasure: Pictured is the Buddhist cave at Phang Nga Bay

A 30-minute speedboat trip east from Phuket deposits you on Koh Yao Noi. It’s a sleepy island of approximately 4,000 residents, with wide, empty lanes lined with coconut and palm trees and beaches against a backdrop of the towering limestone pinnacles that rise out of the waters of Phang Nga Bay.

Cars, refreshingly, are virtually non-existent here.

Take a traditional longtail boat trip with a local guide and you can spend the day hopping between curves of sand and the lagoons of the tiny islands of Koh Hong and Koh Pak Bia, before beers at sunset in one of the relaxed beachside bars back on the main island.

DON’T MISS: Ma Na has the biggest personality on the island — visit her tiny open-air restaurant, Ta Ton Do, in the northwest corner, for the most delicious black squid curry, seaweed salad, garlic-smothered fish and the crispiest, lightest tempura prawns.

Squeeze in some ka nom tom — gooey, sugary coconut balls — for dessert.

HOW TO DO IT: Coastal-chic bedrooms, many with their own large, private plunge pools, are just one reason why a stay at Cape Kudu Hotel on Koh Yao Noi is so relaxing.

The other is the very helpful and friendly team, who know you by name and are on hand to arrange anything from moonlight cinema viewings to prosecco picnics at Laem Haad, a vast stretch of beach reached by boat.

Rooms cost from £142 per night B&B with Small Luxury Hotels Of The World (020 8023 9989, slh.com).

Back to nature

For the feel of Koh Samui, Thailand’s second-largest island, on a much easier scale, try its tiny, jungle-clad neighbour, Koh Tao (above)

For the feel of Koh Samui, Thailand’s second-largest island, on a much easier scale, try its tiny, jungle-clad neighbour, Koh Tao.

You’re best off visiting when the rainfall is at its lowest and you can make the most of its secluded bays and snorkelling in zingy blue water at Aow Muang.

This is where you’ll get a true taste of how the Thai islands used to be — before the advent of glitzy resorts. You’ll be sharing beach space with a happy mix of backpackers and luxe-seeking holiday-makers.

DON’T MISS: Break up your visits to the empty beaches with a Professional Association of Diving Instructors (PADI) diving course, which are especially cheap compared to other islands because of intense competition. You’ll see everything underwater, from turtles to a sunken U.S. landing craft. Or go one step further with PADI and get them to help you try the latest way to explore beneath the ocean: freediving, using your own breath.

HOW TO DO IT: Set on a faultless stretch of sand at the foot of jungle-covered cliffs is the duo-resort of The Beach Club and Haad Tien. You’re free to enjoy the pools and restaurants of both places — so pick between private villas at Haad Tien and stylish, colourful rooms at The Beach Club.

From £1,069 pp per week, including flights (0129 383 1942, hayesandjarvis.co.uk).

Swim with sharks

Located about half way between Phuket and Krabi, Koh Yao Yai, which means ‘big long island’, is dotted with pristine beaches and small outdoor restaurants

Koh Yao Yai is the place to kick back and relax. There are a handful of beachside bars serving beers and cocktails, but alcohol and partying are not the main focus, as 90 per cent of the population is Muslim, so it is far removed from the buckets-of-booze crowd. Located about half way between Phuket and Krabi, Koh Yao Yai, which means ‘big long island’, is dotted with pristine beaches and small outdoor restaurants.

DON’T MISS: Laze in the sun at Ao Muong Beach on the west coast, or book a dive trip to Shark Point, one of the best places in the country to swim alongside docile leopard sharks. The reef here is teeming with marine life, such as soft corals and moray eels.

HOW TO DO IT: Stretched along a steep hillside (don’t worry, there are Jeeps to get you from A to B) is the hideaway, eco-resort of Santhiya Resort & Spa.

Choose from eucalyptus-scented deluxe rooms, which are adorned with intricately carved wooden panels and come with canopy-swathed beds and a giant hot tub on the balcony, or, for more privacy, the teakwood pool villas. There’s a beach and a main pool, but the real star is the infinity pool. Rooms from £63 per night B&B (santhiya.com).

Blissful solitude

Thai pride: Enjoy pristine beaches and snorkelling in clear waters. Pictured is Koh Ngai beach

Whether you are loved-up honeymooners or a relaxed family looking for a beach break, tiny Koh Ngai is the place for you.

Located in the Trang Islands of southern Thailand, Koh Ngai is surrounded by coral and clear water, with excellent shallow-water swimming and snorkelling on its east-coast beaches.

The island hasn’t been built to cater for huge numbers of tourists — there is no cashpoint, for instance — but that’s all part of its charm.

DON’T MISS: While most people take a day trip to Koh Ngai from Pak Meng, ten miles north east, why not stay the night?

The island doesn’t have its own indigenous population, which means hotel and restaurant staff travel in each day.

The result? Blissfully quiet evenings — and the island pretty much to yourself.

HOW TO DO IT: Forget spas, speedy wi-fi and cold towels, a stay on Koh Ngai is down-to-earth, simple and highly recommended. Try one of the thatched-roof cottages that line the silky-soft sandy beach at the tranquil Thapwarin Resort.

You’re 15 metres from the sea — with gentle waves the new soundtrack to your slumber.

From £38 per cottage per night, excluding meals (thapwarin.com).

Go exploring

Hayes & Jarvis (01293 762 456, hayesandjarvis.co.uk) offers a 12-night holiday around many of Thailand’s lesser-known islands, from £2,899pp.

The post Discovering Thailand’s hidden islands | Daily Mail Online appeared first on Tripstations.

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