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#suicide nightlife
columboscreens · 2 years
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iamdjgordon · 1 year
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Missing Berlin already 🕺🏻🎄
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nsxx99 · 2 years
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charmedreincarnation · 8 months
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My sucess story
Trigger Warning: Abusive, homophobia, mentions of suicide
Hey there, Maya! I just had to take a moment and express my appreciation for all the fantastic posts you put out. I can now confirm, without a shadow of a doubt, that shifting is real, manifesting is real, and so is the void. Our desires and ambitions aren't in vain.
I've been part of the shifting community since 2020 when it exploded on TikTok. It might not matter much, but as a gay man, I rarely saw other guys in the community (though Reddit and Amino have a more diverse crowd). I've always felt more comfortable in women-centric spaces because they tend to be less judgmental.
I never saw success stories from guys, especially the kind I wanted to see - like waking up in a new world, not just manifesting money or a girlfriend (or boyfriend in my case >.<). I've always been spiritual and interested in witchcraft, voodoo, deities, and now manifesting and shifting. But it felt like nothing would let me shift.
Growing up with homophobic and physically abusive parents, struggling with poverty, depression, homelessness, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and more, I began to feel like you could only manifest and shift if your life was okay. I didn't have the luxury of time or safety to practice methods, constantly dealing with noise, verbal abuse, or physical violence.
Then, I read this post
https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/comments/14v4lw3/how_to_shift_the_next_time_you_go_to_sleep/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
It led me to your Tumblr because OP used some of your old posts and talked about the concept of the void. All searched lead to tumblr. A couple of months ago (2.5 ish) after one of the worst days of my life, I went to bed sobbing, trying to block out the noise around me, praying and crying for anything - death, shifting, a new identity...
Everything around me started to fade - it was as if I was being engulfed by a white, serene blanket of nothingness. It was completely silent, and I couldn't see or feel anything. The only thing that seemed to persist was my awareness.
Now, I've read about the void before, but mostly in the context of it being a black, empty space. So, I'm not entirely sure if what I experienced was indeed the void or something altogether different. The concept still baffles me a bit, but I'm learning and growing through these experiences.
Regardless of where I was, my heart was set on reaching my dr.I kept praying and hoping, to wake up in my DR.
I woke up in my Twitch streamer DR! I found myself in a completely unfamiliar yet perfect place. My room was equipped with a high-end PC, top-notch gaming gear, and quaint decor items. Milo, my dog, was there too. I was sharing a mansion in LA with my boyfriend and four other streamers. The house was beyond my imagination, and streaming here was a dream come true. As night fell, my friends and I explored the vibrant LA nightlife, creating lasting memories.
After a week, i can’t lie I almost forgot I had shifted here. Then, I set an intention to shift back into this reality but where I had moved out, lived with my best friend and their supportive parents, mastered shifting and manifesting, had my desired looks, and money came easily to me. And it worked!
Since then, I've been living my best boujee gay life, and I shift all the time. I even created a waiting room where I'm immortal and use it whenever I need a break. I wish I could offer better advice, but like everyone says, there isn't a key to shifting. It's different for everyone. But you can and will shift. You can manifest your dream life. You can and deserve to be happy
Oh my god, I'm so happy for you, love 💕💕. I also completely related to what you felt. I know it can seem like your circumstances are holding you back, but believe me when I say this - that couldn't be further from the truth.
It's that same resilience, and your ability to persist despite the odds, that paved the way to your dream life. There’s nothing, I mean nothing that can stop you. Not wavering, crying, or doubt. Nothing. If you want it, it’s yours.
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madelynraemunson · 7 months
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CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪
(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series)
strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!reader
𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ ONLY! MINORS DON’T YOU DARE I AM INSIDE YOUR HOME
Chapter 004: The Eddie Stop
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Everyone loves a parked car conversation. Eddie’s van is no castle by any means…but do a boss and his employee have to sit that close to each other?
* = somewhat smut
** = smut
↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014** , 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*
word count: 4.8k
warnings & disclaimers — slow burn, mutual pining, profanities, sexual tension, marijuana use, SO MANY sexual innuendos, foot play, daddy kink, dirty talk, masturbation, touching, rubbing, talks of abuse, trauma, Eddie talking about “Asshole Dad & Dead Mom Club”, suicide, overdose, reader’s trauma becoming her kink i.e slapping/hair pulling/choking, steddie x reader threesome kinda 🤭, sex dream, p in v smut, unprotected sex, deepthroating, double penetration, idk what else I’m missing so here’s a PSA from Murray
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_______________𓆩♡𓆪_______________
And then there were two.
“You better stop that thing you’re doing. I’m telling you, I ain’t lying.”
For the owner of a very successful strip club, you would think Eddie had a...fancier car. But there is beauty in humble beginnings. In fact, you can tell a lot about him from the ketchup stain by the window, empty coffee tumblers on the floor that need washing, crinkled up band posters — along with MORE PAPERWORK — and the tattered leather seats held together by the sheer grit of duct tape. A Porsche would just conceal who Eddie Munson is.
And Eddie’s the coolest boss you’ve ever had. In the safest town you’ve ever been in.
“Hawkins gets pretty quiet after 1 AM,” you observe. Despite being the blasted one, it’s you who’s attempting to break the silence.
You glance out the window, watching the scenery of the Bible Belt town you've grown to romanticize flash by like developing film.
“Yeah,” Eddie sighs. “If you’re looking for nightlife, you’ve come to the wrong place.”
Eddie approaches a four way intersection and stops too late. He does it for a short time too, stepping on the gas pedal not even a second later.
He peers over at you to see if you caught it.
“Sorry if I’m being a crazy driver,” Eddie apologizes. “If the street’s empty I’m only stopping for like... a millisecond. If at all.”
You snort. “You’re fine. We call that a ‘California stop’ back home.”
“You wanna see an ‘Eddie stop’?”
You turn to him. He’s just staring at you and smiling, a look of mischief creeping its way to the surface.
“What’s that?”
SLAM. You shoot forward in your seat the moment Eddie’s foot meets the brakes. A surprised gasp from you fills the air while Eddie joins in with a loud cackle. You glare at him, a frantic hand clutched to your chest.
“What the FUCK!”
“That’s an ‘Eddie stop’,” Eddie explains between laughter.
SLAM! He does it again.
“Eddie, stop!” you plead.
“Hey, that’s the spirit!” he chuckles.
You realize his play on words and shove him.
“Ow,” he remarks with sass, hand reaching over to rub where you pushed him. “Feisty.”
"Yeah? Well, don't dish out what you can't handle."
You cross your arms and jokingly turn your torso in the other direction. Eddie is amused at this, proceeding to poke fun at you while he still can.
"Hmm. Hm hm," he laughs with his pursed lips. "For someone who can't hang, you're one to talk."
You’re still intoxicated. Nothing is leaving your system any time soon, it appears.
It all starts to feel like a dream. You thoroughly enjoyed yourself after a fun night out with friends. There is no angry brother waiting for you at home, blowing up your phone until you walk through the door. And now you’re out on a post-curfew rendezvous with someone who is clearly off limits.
You’re living out your rebel dreams, riding into the night with Eddie. What a regular young adult takes for granted is something you’ve always dreamt about. It’s a dream you don’t want to wake up from.
“I can hang. It's just the edibles kicking in late, silly," you bubbly insist.
“Alright,” Eddie surrenders sarcastically. “Alright. Whatever gets you going…silly.”
You two proceed down the long, vacant road, humming along to Creedence Clearwater Revival and breaking the law with more California stops.
"It's a bummer we didn’t get to go bar-hopping,” you say. “That would've been fun.”
Eddie grimaces. “Eh. Drinking makes me feel gross. I’m more of a mary-jane guy if I do say so myself.”
“Clearly,” you jest.
A whole night dedicated to edibles? Hotboxing competitions with the line cook? Bongs and bowls happening to be everywhere this motherfucker tends to be at?
Eddie’s a walking marijuana leaf as far as you're concerned. Governor Holocomb's worst nightmare. You kick at the velvet bag that masked the huge glass bong sitting at your feet.
“I’m surprised they haven’t arrested your ass yet.”
“I’m just as surprised as you are," Eddie admits. "With all the shit I’ve done…”
The road begins to look familiar and you realize it’s because you’re almost back home. Tick, tick, tick, goes the turn signal as Eddie's GPS instructs him to make a left. A sigh escapes you. You don’t want to leave.
You want time to freeze exactly where it's at so you could spend it with the man who has been giving you butterflies — and the ‘fuck me’ eyes — all night long. To your own surprise, confidence overpowers you.
“Eddie,” you sit up. “Do you think you can stay with me for a bit?”
Your boss’s gaze hardens, a look of concern replacing his easy-going, playful demeanor.
“Yeah,” he clears his throat, brows lifting gently in shock. “Yeah... I’ll stay with you."
Eddie makes a turn away from your street and finds a curb to park against. You tap your feet, anxious that he actually followed through. The sound of his tires scraping across the gravel beat against your eardrums as reality sets in. Eddie shifts the gear from Drive to Park before wriggling his keys out from the ignition. The rumbling of the van engine ceases.
Eddie lassos his keys around his thick, long index finger, their jingles piercing through the quiet.
"You feeling alright?”
“Yes,” you confirm. “Just feeling pretty buzzed still.”
“You trying to get more buzzed?” he offers. “Or high?”
You look back over at him. Oh wipe that snarky grin off your face, Munson.
There's a pro to working evening shifts. You can sleep in until it's time to head off to work the next day. Judging by how the night was going, it is far from over. You and Eddie are just getting started.
“It depends...Are you trying to get more high?”
“Is that even a question?”
Before you know it, there's a small tin can with a few nuggets in it in Eddie's hand, followed by a small Altoid case that housed some rolling paper. Eddie places the two on his dash and then leans towards you to grab the bong sitting at your feet.
He undresses it from its cloak. His pride and joy glistens in the moonlight.
“Hello, my darling,” he says to his bong. “You’re so pretty.” Eddie turns to you. “I’ve got nowhere to be, so you bet I’ll be usin’ the hell outta her tonight. No pressure though, Hargrove.”
You shrug. “I'm down to get lit for a bit longer."
"You a joint girl or do you prefer bongs?"
"Either or. Why not both?"
There’s a gleam in his eyes. "I like how you think."
Eddie situates the large bong between his legs, propping it up with his knees. He then reaches for the tin can filled with nuggets. Picking off the bits one by one to accommodate the tiny bowl, he tucks them neatly into the small round outlet. Eddie does it with such ease. Like it's second nature.
Finally, Eddie hovers the lighter over the bowl and gestures for you to inch closer. The placement of the bong remains the same. And judging by the look on Eddie’s face, he doesn’t intend on moving it.
"Ladies first."
So you hoist yourself over across Eddie’s center console and position yourself near his lap. Staring up at Eddie with curious eyes, you ask him,
"Am I good?"
"You're good," Eddie confirms, holding your hair back while you lean over against him. “All yours, babygirl.”
After getting the green light, you bend down further to attach your lips to the mouthpiece of the bong. With the flick of the lighter, Eddie ignites the bowl and you suck in. You and Eddie eye its neck steadily, watching as the chamber fills with smoke.
Eddie slowly starts to remove the bowl. Fear sets in as the bubbles seem to draw on for an eternity. It feels like it'll never end. You're inhaling too much.
When you feel the first kick to your chest, you shoot upwards and exhale. But the smoke got you good. Before you know it, you’re coughing and hacking and grasping for air, clutching onto Eddie’s flannel for support as you try to clear.
"That's right, baby," Eddie soothes you. "Let it out. Clear it, clear it, clear it."
“I’m-” you cough. “I’m t—trying.” A few more good coughs and you’re done. “WOOO.”
Eddie’s laughing at you like it’s cute. The grip he has on your hair loosens and soon your locks fall in front of your face once more. You keep them there to mask your tears. How embarrassing.
"Damn,” he comments. “You choked out.”
Your stomach dances. You think about what he said earlier in the club about his kinks.
"Yeah, I s-sure did-" you choke again, fleshing out your last set of coughs as Eddie pats your back.
The tears trickle down your face as you struggle to self-regulate. You quickly wipe them away.
"You okay?' he asks again, this time gently, sincerely. Angelically. He starts playing with the ends of your hair.
You nod with a sigh of relief. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"You want more, hun? Can you handle more?"
You nod again.
"Yeah," you sniff. "I can handle more."
"Alright," he grins.
Bowing your head down once again, you reattach your lips to the mouthpiece. As you're inhaling, Eddie tilts his head upwards to prevent any smoke from getting in his face. You look up at him.
What a sight, your internal monologue gushes. He must look like this when he's getting a...
"There we go, Shy Girl” he hums. "Just like that..."
————🍃———-
“It’s alright. I said it’s alright. Take anything you want from me. Fly high, little wing.”
“So my driving really doesn’t scare you, huh?”
Eddie is taking ginormous rips out of his bong. You, on the other hand, have settled for rolling joints instead.
“Not nearly as much as my brother,” you shrug. “He drives like a maniac. Him and his stupid Camaro.”
You think about the time you and Billy got into an argument about lunch. Out of all things.
Billy had asked something SO obvious. You couldn’t help but respond sarcastically. He stomped on the gas before you knew it, propelling you both across the residential street at 90 MPH. It was scariest you’ve ever seen him. The first instance where he toyed with both your lives and didn’t seem to care.
You try not to shake in front of Eddie. Luckily, he was too busy laughing to notice.
“A Camaro?” Eddie belts. “That’s just about the douchiest, California Chad type shit I’ve ever heard.”
You agree. “Yeah. Douchey is pretty on brand for someone like Billy.”
You fall silent as you continue to roll. Eddie peers over at you and takes note of your newfound seriousness.
You position your body towards him to ensure him it wasn't something he did, and make sure he knows it by the way you relax your legs across his lap. He inhales abruptly at the extra step you took.
"I take it you guys don't get along."
"Billy and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms at the moment,” you mumble. “Part of why I'm here.”
“Your brother right?” he questions rhetorically.
“Yeah, my twin brother.”
“Oh shit,” Eddie mutters. “So you guys went from being essentially telepathic to... no contact at all.”
“Precisely.”
You glide your tongue up, down, and around along the rolled joint to ensure that it sticks. When it's sealed shut, you set it down to start rolling the next one. Eddie stares at you.
“Fuck…” you hear him mutter.
“Sorry?”
You try to act clueless, but even stoned out of your mind, you know exactly what you're doing.
“Uh, that’s rough,” he shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s whatever,” you say. “As much as I love Billy, I just think it’s best we’re not in each other’s lives. We bring out the worst in each other.”
“I can say the same about me and my brothers,” Eddie agrees. “And my dad. They’re always asking me for money. Or for me to be an accomplice for their stupid, dangerous schemes. I got my own shit to handle.”
“And your mom?”
Eddie falls silent.
“She died when I was 14,” his voice softens. “I was the one who found her.”
Your chest aches as you marinate in that very, very familiar wound. It seems like just yesterday you and Billy were in Eddie's shoes.
“I’m so sorry,” you mutter. “Billy found our mom when we were 13. Alcohol poisoning and overdosed on pain killers.”
“Wow…” Eddie is stunned. “OD for mine as well. But heroine. She was an addict. Married her dealer and abuser... my old man.”
"Our dad was abusive too," you sympathize. "Well, is. He's still alive, but he and his new wife up and left when my stepsister turned 16. To who knows where. Billy was her guardian up until her b-day last week.”
You roll your next blunt and lick again. Eddie continues to eye you like a hawk, fixing how he was sitting in the driver's seat as he did.
You continue telling him everything you told your Zoom psychiatrist. Eddie doesn’t seem to mind.
Billy was nice. Now he’s not. Blah blah. Sue, Max’s mom, was Dad’s mistress. The idea of it consumed Mom just as much as Dad’s beatings did. When Billy found her, she was on the bathroom floor surrounded by empty bottles of whiskey and painkillers. Aside from you, Mom was his best friend. His biggest supporter. And Dad took that away.
Eddie’s grazing turns into rubbing. He squeezes your calf.
"Our moms died when we were around the same age," he speaks up, attempting to do the mental math. "That puts us in '08, which is around the time of..."
"The Recession," you finished for him. "Yup. Mom also lost her job which meant she was now fully dependent on our dad."
"She was stuck with that piece of shit no matter what," Eddie huffs. "And no matter where she turned, she wouldn't be safe."
You nod, staring off into the distance. "Billy wanted to go with her.”
Eddie gives you a pained look, sighing deeply as he took it in.
“But I told him I would hate him forever if he dared. So he stayed."
You swallow hard.
“Baby-” Eddie speaks.
"I hate him, still..." you choke back tears. "But I'm glad it's just because I think he's an asshole. He's my whole world."
"But you can't be in each other's lives."
"But we can't be in each other's lives."
"Love from afar kinda thing," Eddie mumbles.
"Exactly," your voice is at a whisper now. "I can never be mad at Mom though, for taking the easy way out. I wouldn't know what the fuck to do if I were in her shoes."
"I'm really sorry, Hargrove." Eddie says. "It seems like you lost more than your mom."
"I'm sorry for your loss too," you reply.
Silence lingers. Eddie continues to touch you. You love how handsy he is tonight. His touch brings you calm. Made you feel looked after. Protected. Cherished.
“I like listening to you talk,” Eddie soothes you.
You smile. “Did we just turn this into a therapy session?”
“Looks like we did,” he chuckles softly. Eddie raises a toast with the foggy, smoked-out bong in his hand. "To the Asshole Dad & Dead Mom Club."
You hold up your lopsided joint.
"To the Asshole Dad & Dead Mom Club," you repeat after him. "And to the brothers we don't speak to anymore."
"Can't forget that shit," he says. "To the brothers we don't speak to anymore."
————🍃————
“I want you so bad, it’s driving me mad.”
The night continues on a lighter, flirtier note.
“What’s your love language?” Eddie asks you.
“Acts of service.”
“Mmm.”
“Not like that.”
“I know, I’m just fucking with you,” Eddie winks. “Makes sense though. I see it.”
“What’s yours?”
“Physical touch.”
You look down at your feet, still laid out across Eddie’s lap. A few moments ago he just wrapped up giving you a foot massage after convincing you that you were free to take your heels off.
“Acts of service as well,” Eddie smiles. “It’s 50/50.”
“I can tell,” you say.
“Yeah? How so?”
You run a foot across Eddie’s thigh, watching in amusement as his blinking quickens. He bites his lip and hums.
“I can just tell,” is what you end up saying.
“You can just tell?” Eddie bites his lip. “No other way of knowing?”
“Nope,” you giggle, gliding your foot to the inner part of his thigh. “Just a wild guess.”
Your feet do a little dance on Eddie. He tries to tickle you but you pull away.
“I think Steve’s is acts of service too,” you add. “And gift giving.”
“Nailed it,” Eddie confirms with a nod. “Harrington loves providing. Daddy Steve.”
He smirks at you when he says that. With the info you retained at Hellfire, it’s impossible to think what he’s saying isn’t an innuendo. Your foot being just inches away from his dick didn’t help the case either.
“Daddy Steve,” you echo him. “Yeah, I can tell he loves taking care of people he cares about.”
“It didn’t always used to be that way,” Eddie points out. “I used to think he was an asshat.”
“Then what happened?”
“Nancy Wheeler happened.”
The mood darkens.
“Damn…” you mutter. “It always boils down to House Mom.”
“Because it’s true,” Eddie insists. “Steve was a self-absorbed prick in high school. Then he dated Wheeler senior year. On and off. Something changed in him, when they were done for good.”
Eddie readjusts himself in his seat. You adjust yourself with him.
“It was like…” he proceeds. “Steve realized that there was more beyond himself and wanted to be a part of this greater good. It wasn’t until he started working at the bowling alley I used to frequent that I realized that he’s a pretty decent guy.”
“Like everything’s one big redemption arc for him,” you state.
“That’s exactly what it is.”
“He worked at the bowling alley?”
“He’s worked everywhere,” Eddie laughs. “Dude had so many side quests and jobs. It’s gotten to the point to where I start to wonder where he hasn’t worked.”
“Hellfire,” you point out.
“Yeah, Hellfire,” Eddie nods. “Kinda wish he did. Maybe then I can get a day off…”
“What would you do on your day off?”
“Take you out to lunch finally.”
Your gazes fixate on each other. Eddie’s cheeks turn a red hue in the moonlight, the streetlight you guys were parked under illuminating it further.
The cheeky grin on his face vanishes quickly, the moment he disengages his eye contact with you.
"Yeah, Steve... Steve's a good guy," Eddie gulps. He stares down at his lap. Touches your legs again. "One of the greatest friends I've ever had in my life."
“Mhm…”
“And now he’s my boyfriend,” he teases you with a wink.
You tsk. “Be for real.”
“Nah, I’m just playing — he’s actually my husband,” he jokes again. “And you’re just a pretty lil thing of his on the side.”
“So you think I’m pretty?”
“That’s what you got from that?”
“Who am I to get in the way of your marriage?”
“It makes things complicated between the three of us, that’s for sure.”
There’s a hint of truth in that sentence. You can tell by the way Eddie refuses to look you in the eyes again. For someone who is intentional with his eye contact, him not wanting to look your way when he says that makes it look suspicious.
Eddie cuts it with the jokes and starts up again.
“But yeah, I think you’re pretty.”
“Thank you, Eddie,” you respond, drawing circles onto his inner thigh now with your feet. You do it slower. Then deeper. Clockwise then counter.
“That’s it.”
Finally, he hoists your legs off of him. To your surprise, it’s Eddie now that’s crawling towards you, closing up the space there was between you two. Now you and him are both just a thumb-width apart, faces lingering. The hunger is back.
You feel Eddie’s warm breath against you.
“I’d say a hell of a lot more about you,” Eddie adds. “But I don’t wanna get in trouble.”
“That’s new,” you quip. “For as long as I’ve known you, you always gave off rebel vibes.”
“I’m trying to be good.”
“You’re failing miserably.”
You both look down at Eddie hand that is now resting at your waist. He laughs through his nose, pulling you closer to him.
“Touché.”
With his available hand, he strokes your hair, tucking a strand behind your ears. His fingers explore your cheek and take a detour to your plump lips, hovering around them as you part them slightly.
“You have no idea how hard I’ve tried to not cross any boundaries tonight,” Eddie admits. “To not get any closer to you.”
“Why not?” you whisper.
"I don't wanna ruin whatever you and Harrington have going on…”
"We're just fuck buddies," you insist. “Swear.”
Steve wouldn’t care. You know he wouldn’t. He was the one who even said that you both should give Eddie a little show. Besides, you already know it’ll be a long while until he’s officially over Nancy.
"Of course," Eddie huffs.
"Why?" you raise an eyebrow as you breathe in his face. "Are you jealous?"
"Well when you sound the way you did this morning, how could I not be?"
There it was.
The confirmation of what you already suspected closes in on you and you feel yourself shrink. Eddie enjoys the sight of it, the sight of Shy Girl growing tense just by the way he speaks to you. His fingers dance up your arm before he starts to rub your back.
“And the way you looked the day you gave Steve that private show…” he strains. “It’s like you were made for me and only me.”
“Eddie…” you moan.
“Do you know what it was like? Hm?” Eddie demands. He’s hot against your cheek now. “Touching myself, getting myself off in the bathroom to the sound of your moans? Knowing full well you were getting your back blown out just a wall over?”
You whimper as he continues to hover, the ache of wanting to be touched and destroyed by him gnawing at your soul.
“Gettin’ all dumb for me already?” Eddie taunts you when you don’t speak. “I haven’t even fucked your brains out yet.”
“Just still a little high that’s all.”
That snaps something back into Eddie. “Oh… right.”
You hear his keys jingle again before Eddie turns them back into the ignition. His headlights flash on and soon he shifts the gears back to drive. Away from the curb and back to your place you go.
Your stomach sinks.
“What are you doing?”
“Not this!” Eddie refuses. “Not when you’re not sober.”
“Eddie!” you start to regret ever saying anything. “Come on, I’m fine. I want you.”
“Yeah, well that’s another thing in my doctrine,” Eddie sighs. “I can’t mess with a lady under the influence. I don’t roll that way.”
He routes his GPS back to your place.
“I hate when you’re respectful,” you joust, crossing your arms in retaliation.
He laughs.
“Don’t worry sweetheart,” he says to you. “Next time you’re at work, I’m gonna be disrespectful as fuck.”
The night ends there and Eddie drops you off. He makes sure you get inside safely before driving away. Sadness sets in as the drugs and alcohol wear off. You drag your feet along as sneak your way into you and Max’s room.
You dream of Eddie that night. Him and Steve.
You’re in a private show room at Hellfire with the two Adonises after your heart. Steve’s destroying your pussy again, ramming into you at an intense speed while Eddie fucks himself into your mouth, his warm, sweet precum mixing with your saliva to fill your mouth to the brim.
A moan escapes you every single time Eddie hits the back of your throat.
“That’s right, baby,” Eddie coos. “Don’t be shy. C’mon, take me.”
You try not to scream as you dig your nails into his skin. Tears are streaming down your face as Eddie and Steve abuse your holes, the stimuli from both nearing you towards your climax.
“Such a good fucking girl,” Steve growls pulling you by your hair. “Taking two cocks at the same time like a champ, hm?”
Eddie releases you from his grip, allowing you to come back up for air. You spit the remnants of him back onto his long and girthy cock, stroking him while you gave your jaw a rest.
“Y-yes,” you choke out, arching your back to maximize the sensation of Steve’s thrusts. “I’m being so good.”
You beg for Steve to fuck you harder. Steve and Eddie look to each other and smirk, pleased that you even want to be challenged.
“Harrington’s got you, don’t you worry,” Eddie assures you. “On your back sweetheart.”
Steve pulls out and lets you use him as support. When you’re on your back, he grabs his cock again, stroking himself before lining himself at your tight little asshole.
“I’m gonna let you know when I go in, babe, okay?” he whispers to you, smothering your neck with kisses.
“Okay,” you nod sheepishly.
Eddie kneels down and lines himself up at your dripping cunt, kissing you on the mouth before inserting himself into you.
You let out a silent gasp as he maneuvers his way in, stretching you out even further than Steve already did.
“Oh my god,” you cry.
“Fuuuck,” Eddie moans, hand flying over your throat to wrap itself around you. “You feel so fucking good, baby.”
Then Steve starts letting himself in. He pumps into you slowly, not proceeding until you start adjusting to his length. You lay there in complete bliss, allowing them both to have their way.
“Good job, angel,” Steve cheers you on. “Being so good for us. So fucking tight…”
The speed of their thrusts are agonizingly slow. You tap them both on the arm to let them know they can speed up. They resist at first, attempting to make sure it’s really want you want.
“Please,” you whine. “I want it now, please.”
Eddie’s gaze turns grim. “Whatever you say.”
SMACK! You whimper as Eddie swats your bouncing tits and pistons into you deeper, faster. Steve meets Eddie where he’s at, picking up the pace from underneath you, holding your hips still for extra leverage.
“SHIT!” you squeal. “Y-yes, yes, right there. Don’t fucking stop!”
Three more pumps and they both hit that special spot. You start to shake as your core tightens. It feels too fucking good.
“Dirty fucking whore,” Eddie spits at you while you cry out in pleasure. “There’s no running away now baby, this is what you wanted.”
Slapping. Biting. Choking. Hair-pulling. Name-calling. Spitting. You wanted it all.
“FUCK!” you wail. “I’m gonna fucking cum. I’m cumming, I’m cumming!”
“Let it out, baby,” Eddie encourages you. “Let it out. Make a mess on both of us, there you go.”
That sentence is enough to send you over the edge. Your core is hot, walls twitching and aching.
“FUCK!” you scream one last time before —
“SIS!”
Max jolts you awake, shaking you by your shoulders.
“What? What?!” you shoot up in the bed.
“Are you okay?” Max pants. “You’re sweating like a pig.”
Now that’s a dream you didn’t ever wanna wake from. Reorienting yourself to your room, you find it hard to believe how real everything felt. You grip onto your sheets to make sure you’re really in your room.
“Yeah, I…” you stammer. “I…had a nightmare.”
“I can tell, you were making all kinds of noise in your sleep.”
Max scurries over to your dresser to retrieve your Hydroflask. She encourages you to hydrate yourself.
“I drank tonight,” you admit after a huge gulp of water. “Probably what caused it.”
“Makes sense,” Max nods, hands on her hips like a concerned mother. “You gonna be alright?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “Just need a breather.”
You grab your phone and use the flashlight feature to navigate to the bathroom. As you’re peeing, you take a look at the two text messages waiting for you.
Steve Harrington 💋
Made it home lol
Sorry,passed out. Goodnight, beautiful ❤️
You text Steve goodnight before making your way over to the next text message. Eddie.
Eddie Boss
Sweet dreams. Silly.
👸
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author’s note: the steddie threesome dream was inspired by this tiktok 🥵 foaming at the mouth tbh. I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER AND THE DREAM THREESOME WITH STEVE & EDDIE! don’t worry, eddie x shy girl irl fuck fest smut is coming. some juicy shit has to go down first before we cross that bridge ;)
tag list: @changemunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n , @corrodedcoffincumslut , @bebe07011 , @mmunson86 , @eddiesguitarskills , @chelebelletx , @imonhereforareasonsadly , @eddies-trailer-babe , @hideoutside , @motherfckerrr , @jxpsi , @munson-magic , @lindseyj23 , @sidthedollface2 , @manda-panda-monium , @elvendria
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prophetszendo · 6 months
Text
How the birds fall (pt. 2)
Content warning: suicide
Pairing: Astarion/you (no use of y/n or pronouns)
Summary: this is an alternate ending to part 1. The difference? Just a few seconds.
Word count: 1.4k
Disclaimer: not a native speaker, feel free to point out mistakes or weird sentences.
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Astarion layed on his stomach, his torso hanging over the cliff. With one hand, he was holding himself, and with the other, he was reaching down. And he was yelling your name repeatedly, as his hands opened and closed, hoping to feel a piece of clothing, or a hand be caught in it.
But he was just a blink too late.
Back in the night, he was laying awake in his bed. He felt hungry, started to starve, and desperately wanted to feed. Yet he didn’t approach you. He felt like it would have shown his weakness for you, just how much he depends on you. He felt he had been used enough in his life, and didn’t need you to do the same.
He heard you shuffle around in your tent, then leave it. He found nothing strange about it, people can have casual buiness in the night. He expected your return soon, and when the night stayed silent, a thought crossed his mind. Maybe, just maye, you knew it was long since he fed and now you were waiting for him in a more quiet, secluded area.
Astarion got a bit too excitied for his own good. He could definitely not stay still like this, so he also sneaked out into the moonlight. It reminded him of the old times, when he would only be able to be under the sky after the sun set. He quickly shook the memory off, and focused on you. Thanks to his darkvision, he clearly saw which path you took. He beileved he was able to smell you, especially your sweet sweet blood among the trees.
He felt like a hunter, going after his prey in the dark. He quite liked this game.
He followed your trail silently. His boots made no sound, he wanted to suprise you with his arrival. He felt your taste on his tongue already, and he wanted more and more.
He always wanted more.
He slowly reached you. He caught a glimpse of you sitting on a log. You had your back to him, and you didn’t notice him. He noticed that you were facing a cliff. Unusual place for a feast.
Astarion prepared to approach you, when he got the feeling that something was off. He observed you a bit closer, and noticed a few oddities. Your back was hunched way more than usual. On an average day, you carried yourself confidently, but now, you seemed much more fragile, and small. Your breathing was also irregular, which again, was very unlike you.
His first thought was thag you got lost, and something spooked you. Maybe some of the nightlife? He smirked, as he planned to go and save you, and then you would offer yourself to him, and he would get to bite you and finally feel a bit satisfied.
Before he could move, you stood up, and went ro the edge of the cliff. Your head was facing down, and your breathinf stabilized.
Astarion thought you seemed calm.
Then a horrible, horrible suspicion hit him. As you you lifted your arms, as if you wantes to hug the sky in front of you, Astarion shot out of hiding, and started running towards you. His arm raised in front of him, to grab you and pull you back.
As if it was in slow motion, you started to fall. His legs felt entirely way too heavy. Maybe if he wasn’t on the edge of starving, he would have been faster.
But now, he was just a breath too late. His fingers nearly touched you.
You never stopped falling.
And here he was, yelling, screaming your name, hoping that would cast featherfall on you, so you would be alright. He remembered this cliff, the team briefly saw it earlier, and it was endlessly deep. And you were falling into the abyss, even his night seeing gaze couldn’t pierce.
As you disappeared from his sight, he lied there, in complete shock. What just happened? Why would you knowingly jump down into the nothingness?
It must have been the tadpole – and idea raised in Astarions mind. It must have been taking you over, making you stuff you never wantes to. But you were strong minded, you would never let yourself be taken over like this.
A painful memory rose in him. And one more. And another one.
He had noticed your weird expression you had when you thought noone was looking. The glimmer in your eyes were gone and was replaced by dullness. Your smile, which normally seemed to be glued to you was also gone. As if you were a completely different person. Yet, only after a moment or two of him noticing this, your face would go back to the usual, and the fierce and strong leader would come back and solve every problem.
Astarion suddenly felt a tug on his mind and before he could do anything, feelings that weren’t his floded him.
After a second, he realized they were yours. Your last feelings. Just as fast as they came, they were gone.
And so were you.
Astarion cried out in pain. He rolled onto his back, and put his palm over his face, as he started sobbing uncontrollably.
Because it was his fault.
He never payed close attention on how the adveture was for you. He always let you make the hard decisions. No, that wasn’t the right wording. He always made you choose.
No wonder you felt pressured. The feelings he recieved were everything you felt on the edge. His throath narrowed, as he started to untangle, to understand you.
To understand why you would leave him like this.
He had no right to think this way. You were never his, no matter how much he wanted it to happen. He constantly self sabotaged, and denied himself the luxury to trust you and take an honest liking in you. Now, he understood what he denied you and it made him feel more like a monster.
You never made him feel like a monster. No matter what he did. Not even when he sneaked up on you to take a bite, not when you said horrible things, and not when he acted cold towards you on purpose.
You only felt hurt, but you never thought less of him.
He felt lost. Since he met you, he felt some sort of security in his life. You accepted him for who he was, like noone did before. You cared about him, and did anything he asked.
And Astarion never thanked you, or showed anything sincere for it. Now he will never be able to, and regret was taking him over. He took you granted, like how he was taken granted in his past.
He was so taken over by self pity, and how horrible he was, that he failed to see further than himself. If he said a few nice words to you after seeing you so broken, maybe you would be sleeping in your tent now, and not somewhere out of his reach.
If he told you just how much he needed you, maybe now you would be sitting next to him, telling him about your day, sharing the hardships of the trip, and maybe some plans for the future.
He never even asked what you wanted to do after this was over, he realized. This thought caused another set of loud sobs and tears to appear. How could he have been so selfish?
All he ever wanted is to have a future with you. Because with you, he could see further than tomorrow. Maybe a sweet little home in Baldur’s Gate.
Only if he said it out loud.
Only if he told you just how much you are on his mind. How much he wishes to hold you, to caress you, to kiss youm
Only if he told you how much he loved you.
This thought kept swirling in his mind, he couldn’t get rid of it. He sat up, and inched closer to the cliff. He kept his distance, as in his mind he saw you fall again and again. But he looked down, as much as he could.
„I’m... So sorry. I loved... I love you.”
His voice cracked, and he just sat there, crying his aching heart out.
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nerdygaymormon · 2 years
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Berlin had become the “gay capital of the world,” a city with a booming queer nightlife scene and the center of new academic ideas calling for greater acceptance of homosexuality and gender non-conformity.
To the Nazis, homosexuality represented a “threat” to the “Aryan” race’s survival that needed to be stamped out. Although male homosexual activity had been technically illegal in Germany since the 19th century, it was generally tolerated and even celebrated prior to Adolf Hitler’s ascension to power in 1933.
The Nazis began their anti-queer purges by targeting clubs, societies and Magnus Hirschfield’s renowned sexology research institute, burning the books in its library. Decades of pioneering work and community life had been erased.
By 1935, Paragraph 175 of the German penal code was revised to include a harsher sentence and criminalize virtually any kind of male same-sex intimacy.
Between 1933 and 1945, an estimated 100,000 men were arrested for violating Nazi Germany’s law against homosexuality, and of these, approximately 50,000 were sentenced to prison. An estimated 5,000 to 15,000 men were sent to concentration camps on similar charges.
In the concentration camps, they were subjected to barbaric tortures, including sexual abuse, castration and medical experiments. The other prisoners also ostracized them. Overall prospects for gay prisoners were poor: an estimated 65% died, and an unknown, albeit likely disproportionate number committed suicide.
As the Allies swept through Europe to victory over the Nazi regime in early 1945, hundreds of thousands of concentration camp prisoners were liberated. The Allied Military Government of Germany repealed countless laws and decrees, but left unchanged the 1935 Nazi revision of Paragraph 175.
For the queer survivors of Nazi oppression, 1945 did not bring about any kind of liberation; rather, it marked the beginning of a systematic process of persecution and willful suppression—one that would result in their erasure from the pages of popular history.
Under the Allied occupation, homosexual concentration camp survivors were forced to serve out their terms of imprisonment regardless of time served in the concentration camps. They were easy to identify because in the concentration camps they had an upside-down pink triangle sewn to their clothes.
After the war, Jews, children, and political prisoners could apply for financial and moral support from the new German governments (a.k.a. reparations), homosexual men could not. Similarly, gay survivors were not allowed to collect a pension for the time they spent working in the concentration camps while other survivors could.
The Nazi version of Paragraph 175 remained on the books of the Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) until the law was revised in 1969 to decriminalize homosexual relations between men over the age of 21. This resulted in the arrest of around 100,000 gay men between 1945 and 1969. Paragraph 175 itself would only be entirely removed from the penal code in 1994, following Germany’s reunification.
Advocacy groups successfully rallied for the creation of memorials, and the German Bundestag finally voted to pardon and compensate the victims of Paragraph 175 in 2017, a meager and all-too-late offer of justice as most of the victims were long dead.
The Nazi-era oppression of queer women and intersex individuals has been overshadowed due to a combination of homophobia and sexism. Lesbian women, for instance, may not have been systematically persecuted under the Third Reich, as Paragraph 175 only targeted gay men, but that did not deter the Nazis from shutting down their clubs or arresting them for “anti-sociality,” deeming them “morally unsound,” labeling them as “lesbisch” (lesbian) political dissidents and sending them to concentration camps.
For years, LGBTQ organizations were ignored and even shunned from Holocaust commemorations. The gathering of their stories was not considered important. The suppression of the Holocaust’s queer voices remains a stain that lingers on to this day.
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dsgirl2024 · 1 month
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The World You See | Prologue | Hoseok | BTS OT7 x Reader Fanfiction
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───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
CONTENT WARNING
This story has explicit descriptions of death, drug use, alcohol use, addiction, sex, language, mental illness, suicide, and other possibly triggering content.
If this will effect your well being in ANY WAY, PLEASE DO NOT READ!
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
ABOUT
Genre ☆ Fantasy / Romance (Fanfiction)
Rating ☆ Mature (18+ Minors DNI)
Pairing ☆ BTS OT7 x Reader
Story Type ☆ Angel BTS (AU)
SUMMARY
You've always seen the world a bit differently than others. It was like your magic power. And maybe that was why only you could see the lights that night. The big, astronomical explosion of lights that rained down to earth in colors you had never known to have existed until now. Little did you know about a divine destiny beyond your wildest dreams, and seven angelic beings brought down from heaven to guide you.
Apparently, the world is ending, and they're convinced that you're the one to save it. All you have to do, is figure out how.
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Seoul was extraordinarily cold for an early-spring night. 
A bitter sort of chill, one that called for sweaters, hats and for some, a warm coat. The perfect type of night to stay in doors, safe and cozy, curling up on the couch with a steaming cup of tea. A great book in hand, or perhaps a Netflix session to start off a weekend binge.
At least, that appealed to some people.
For others, it was never too cold to live it up--throw on a cute fit and assemble the squad. No matter how low the temperature dropped, the active city at no time neglected a vibrant nightlife. Neon lights illuminated the ground, bleeding saturated colors, and the black pavement glittered as club-goers and bar-hoppers bustled from place to place.
Just as those whom braved the weather, stilettos clacking and hair done-up, someone else had been promised a good time that night.
The time of his life.
One of grandeur and refinement, at the top of the classiest hotel. Where old money mingled with new money, striking deals as they utilized charisma like a weapon--guns loaded, waiting for the right moment to strike. Not ever really enjoying the company of each other, though feigning pleasantries for the sake of the game. The salacious game of shameless business, be it for power, money or love.
And tonight, many had gathered to play. Dressed in the finest attire, their sparkling bodies circled and flirted, sipping on champagne with painted lips and fake smiles. Dazzling, beautiful people, fat with riches, Botox and high societal respect. The creme-de-la-creme.
How ignorant they were.
How oblivious.
Such egocentric, vapid humans, so self involved that they'd hardly noticed the absence of the man whom they came for in the first place.
This was his night. His party. Recognition for all the sweat and tears he'd spilled vying for a spot within their good graces. Validation, that his professional enslavement was all gearing for a brighter future. Oh, the butts he kissed, the demands he dealt with.
The sacrifices he made.
He should be drunk as fuck, enjoying the food, befriending the one percent, charming some women and busting out his sick dance moves. His time had come.He'd finally made it.
So why?
Why, instead, did Jung Hoseok find the tops of his leather-shoed feet dangled off the hotel roof,  dangerously toying with a fatal descent? 
More importantly, why did he look so...
broken?
Tears streaming, wet and snotty, the tall, elegant man appeared as if the seams to his existence had torn apart. Like his insides were barely contained, spilling from all sides, as he clutched his rib cage desperately. Sniffing, chocking down sobs.
The icy winds whipped violently, staining his skin with raw, pink stripes and the coattails of his black Armani tux flapped like flags at mast.
'Ding' A chime alerted from his suit pocket.
Hoseok's weight teetered unsteadily, grimacing, the sound clearly distraught him. "You've won!" He thought, "Just leave me alone!"
'Ding, ding' It chimed again. Determined.
Hoseok swallowed thickly.
Fishing around in his tux, the man pulled out his phone and looked down at the Kakao Talk ID that popped up on the screen. JustYourPrince had sent him a new attachment. His heart dropped, anxious as he opened it, eyes swiping the image with speed. A strangled groan ripped from his throat.
It was a picture of a blind-folded woman. She was tied up and gagged with a gun pointed at her temple. Her long, black locks abnormally messed, and it had been clear by her bloodied lip that she'd put up a fight. Tears of recognition welled in Hoseok's eyes.
'Tick, tock.' The message below spelled out.
An anguished look distorted delicate features, as Hoseok threw his head to the sky, searching for a sign, praying that God had a sick sense of humor. This wasn't really happening. This couldn't actually be happening.
Not to him.
Not to her.
'Ding'
'Ding'
'Ding'
"I can't take it anymore! Ok? I'll do it! I'll do it, I said! So please, just stop!"
The man didn't want to jump.
He had to jump.
That is to say, there didn't seem to be an alternative option. If Hoseok didn't do what they'd asked, she was going to pay the price for it.
'Friday at midnight. If you don't do it by then, she'll suffer the consequences of your actions, Mr. Jung.' That's what they told him.
It was Friday.
Time was running out.
Looking down, the man's stomach lurched. Woozy from the vertigo, he blinked through the blur, palms sweaty, nails digging, as he gauged the height of the drop. Must be at least twenty stories. The hundreds of bodies below resembled dots amidst the glow of building lights. For a moment, he envied those dots. So insignificant--free to exist in peace, camouflaged by the vastness of society.
'Dong--' 'Dong--'  rang the clock-tower bells a few blocks over, a final countdown initiating.
11:59 p.m.
A singular tear dripped off his nose and fell to the streets below. Hoseok sucked in a breath as he watched it vanish from sight, holding in air then relinquishing it all at once. Trembling.
Anticipating.
Wondering, how everything spun so far out of control? It wasn't supposed to be like this. The man's life was in mere adolescence, opportunities just started knocking at his door. He'd worked so hard fortoo long, only to at last receive his reward--and now that reward was being snatched from his grasp. Cruelly. Evilly. The sweet taste of success, drowned by the bitterness of his misfortune.
It wasn't fair.
It wasn't fair at all, but Hoseok couldn't let her suffer. Not for something that was his responsibility in the first place. He refused to allow another person he loved foot his bill, because the last time, it had ended badly.  No one was meant to get hurt, but a dangerous game had been played--against an even more formidable foe. One whom he'd sorely miscalculated, and that had been his first grave mistake.
'Dong--'
His second was his naivety.
'Dong--'
His third was his negligence.
'Dong--'
Maybe this was karma--
'Dong--'
--reaping what he sowed.
'Dong--'
As the last bell tolled, Hoseok shut his eyes tight, collecting his wits. Carefully, he turned his back from the ledge, unwilling to witness full force his death to the ground beneath. He'd rather face the sky, instead. That way, he'd be less afraid. 
The wind shoved at his chest, demanding and hostile, as if it'd grown impatient, reminding the man of the urgency.
'At midnight.' It whispered.'Tick, tok.'
Hoseok told the wind to kindly, fuck off.
Let him go on his own terms.
Let him go with dignity.
Composed.
Mind clear.
Deep breath.
And then he went, tipping himself over the ledge. 
Air rushed his descending person, as gravity dragged him down. Faster and faster, the feeling unlike any he'd experienced before. Adrenaline juiced through his veins like a drug, blood pumping at a frightening speed. It was almost... exciting--fun even, if not for the end Hoseok knew awaited him.
Soon, he would be nothing more than a splattered lump on concrete. An eyesore for pedestrians, and a burden for the poor soul tasked with scrapping his guts off the sidewalk. It'd be quick, though, he was thankful for that.
At least this way, he could free himself.
Free them both.
The thought brought him some comfort.
Then, out of nowhere, a blinding light intrigued Hoseok's eyes to open. He gasped, enthralled by what he saw. Beautiful and terrifying all at once, the indescribable hues of colors gave chase to his falling form. Illuminated beams extended out, weaving and streaking the stratosphere like arms to catch him before he hit the ground below.
Stretching out as far as he could, Hoseok yearned to touch it, curious to learn its texture. Time seemed to slow. Dark hair kissed his cheeks gently, fluttering, as he wondered what something so pretty even felt like? Was it cold? Or did it burn? Sting? Tingle? Drench?
Since he was going to die regardless, it'd be nice to die knowing something like that. Maybe then, the idea of his life cut short wouldn't be so bad, so tragic.
Maybe then, he'd have some hope.
As though his request had been heard, the light sped faster, until suddenly his fingertips grazed the surface. Sizzling. An electrifying current blew through his veins, hot and freezing all at the same time. Flesh quivering, pleasured by the exotic sensation, Hoseok's lips parted in a blissful grin. 
Because now he knew.
He knew everything.
Completely at peace and with an accepting look in his eye, the man gave himself over to the light. Permitting his body to be consumed within its glow, before he came crashing down on the sidewalk beneath. 
The midnight bell concluded, marking the arrival of a new day. 0:00 a.m.
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PLEASE MAKE SURE TO LEAVE A NOTE & FOLLOW
Every ☆ lets me know you enjoy my story, and encourages me to continue writing! So please don't forget to send a little love my way! Thank you so much for reading, and I will see you all in the next chapter!
Read on WATTPAD
Story Updates ☆Tuesday, Friday or Saturday (2:00-7:00pm EST)
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33 notes · View notes
hd-wireless · 10 months
Text
🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶
📻 Everybody Hates a Tourist
🎵 Explicit, 51,500 ❗ Warnings/Tags: Reference to suicide of a minor character 🎵 Song Prompt: Common People by Pulp 
🎵 Summary 
On a stag do in sunny Brighton with the Gryffindor lads, the last person Harry expects to run into is Draco Malfoy. After a glimpse of Malfoy’s Muggle life in Britain’s gay capital, Harry’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself returning to the seaside again and again, drawn to the city, drawn to this new version of Malfoy that Harry barely recognises from school. Meanwhile, Draco’s just trying to live his big and best queer life: working for the weekend, chasing hot men, getting lost in Brighton's nightlife, and making friends with the neighbourhood cats. Why does his former school rival and crush have to show up and spoil everything?
Read on AO3
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lesbian-books · 1 year
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Lesbian Historical Fiction
Fingersmith by Sarah Waters
Victorian England, 1860s. A con artist hires a London pickpocket to help him obtain the fortune of a naïve heiress.
Beyond the Screen Door by Julia Diana Robertson
Washington, USA, 1945. Two best friends grow up together and start to fall in love. One of them can see ghosts, but this is not a scary book.
Cantoras by Carolina De Robertis
Uruguay, 1977. During the military dictatorship, homosexual people were persecuted, imprisoned, and tortured. Five women (three lesbians and two bisexuals) manage to find each other and cultivate a friendship that will last for decades.
Club Storyville by Riley LaShea
Virginia, USA, 1944. A girl raised to be a “proper lady” falls in love with a nurse who comes to care for her sick grandmother.
Belladonna by Anbara Salam
Italy, 1950s. An insecure teenage girl develops a toxic obsession with her beautiful and popular best friend. As the girls graduate high school and attend an art school, their relationship becomes complicated by sexual lust and secrecy.
Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley
Virginia, USA, 1959. Sarah is one of the first black students to attend her previously all-white high school. She becomes acquainted with a white student named Linda, whose father is a major opponent of desegregation.
Shaken to the Core by Jae
California, USA, 1906. Giuliana, a working class Sicilian immigrant woman, goes to work as a maid for a rich American family. The daughter of the family, Kate, is expected to marry a rich man and have children, but Kate wants to be financially independent and be with a woman. This book is set in the time period of the real life 1906 San Francisco earthquake, one of the deadliest natural disasters in U.S. history, which killed over 3000 people and destroyed most of the city.
Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malina Lo
California, USA, 1950s. A Chinese-American girl has a lesbian awakening, makes friends with another lesbian at her school, and discovers the vibrant nightlife in lesbian bars.
Matrix by Lauren Groff
England, 1150s. A young French woman named Marie is forced to go to an English convent to become the new prioress. The nuns are living in hunger and squalor when Marie arrives, and when she takes charge she transforms the fate of the convent and the lives of the nuns into something better and more successful than they could have imagined.
Click “Keep reading” for content warnings. Minor spoilers ahead.
Content warnings for Fingersmith: abuse, including child abuse
Content warnings for Beyond the Screen Door: child abuse, domestic violence
Content warnings for Cantoras: abuse, child sexual abuse, corrective rape, marital rape, suicide
Content warnings for Lies We Tell Ourselves: racist abuse. Additional note: This book does not hold back from depicting the racism and homophobia of the time. It has also been criticised for its portrayal of an oppressed person falling in love with their oppressor, and rightfully so because that aspect could have been done better, but at the same time I don’t think that lesbian relationships in books have to always be written as flawlessly healthy and morally pure, just as hetero relationships often are not. If Linda had abandoned all her racist beliefs immediately and rededicated her goals to supporting black civil rights, then the book would have been criticised for being too unrealistic, imo.
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catsplain · 1 month
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KWON DONGWOOK's 'THE CLIMAXXX' (2024): K-POP's MOST SHOCKING BODY OF WORK TO DATE, AND WHY IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING.
TW: Mentions of drug abuse, overdose, the COVID-19 pandemic, suicide.
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On technicals: The CLIMAXXX is the second full album of fictional south korean rapper and NTCD member Kwon Dongwook, released on February 26th, 2024 under MINDBEND Studios, a subsidiary of MBN Entertainment, his parent company - probably to distanciate the project from NTCD and other Idol acts by the comglomerate as much as possible. It contains 11 tracks and a runtime of 35 minutes. Physical printing included three versions: Death Neon (above), King Tough and Mr. Giggle.
Initially marketed as a high concept album telling the story of 'King Tough', a made up luxurious character going trought an internal journey while driving back home, Kwon Dongwook's second full album caused extreme commotion on it's first day of announcement: from the scandalous first bathc of teasers, the complete broadcast banning on all 11 songs, as well as the attached note from MBN meticulously detailing his schedule for the entirety of the year, which included a one month long tuor exclusively in South Korea in March, followed up by a 6 months long hiatus and eventual military enlistment on the end of the year.
However, a week after The CLIMAXXX's release, Dongwook's upcoming hospitalization into a rehab facility in New Zealand alongside many private medical documents were leaked online - including positive drug tests and two past overdose reports in the last 3 years -, blowing his new musical era completly out of the window, and turning the whole world's attention into the shocking private life of a key integrant of one of the biggest boybands to come off Asia.
With Dongwook's legal and contractual fate still going by undecided and minimaly disclosed, the silence makes the lines between his real life and the album's mythos turn blurry, and might finally answer the question: why was The CLIMAXXX made? An impersonal album that was seen by many as work of excentric creativity now turns into a raw documentation of a man trying to come to terms with his own upcoming artistic, inner personal and physical death.
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A long and badly covered up history of impulsivity, ambition and violence circles Dongwook in such a way that the efforts made by his fans, company and family wouldn't ever be enough to contain it for very long. What happens to a nightlife king when his reign comes to an end? That's the one question the narrator King Tough seems desperate to know as the album goes on. What exactly will be his climax, and who will be there to see it?
THE TRACK BY TRACK BREAKDOWN.
01. FREAK | *Title Track
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Dongwook quick starts the album with an upbeat yet clear warning: this won't be another Any Song (2020), BTBT (2021) or any sort of easy to dance to hit that became his registered signature as a soloist. With pessimist lyrics counting down to the end of times, King Tought is presented to us a modern Dyonisius, singing: 'It's not a festival / Technically speaking, we're in decadence / This is a message from the god.' Following by the lens of the album's storyline, this is party or, speaking more methaphorically, the state of mind Dongwook's narrator is coming from: one that finds nihilistic enjoyment in debauchary.
FREAK is still by far the most market friendly song on the entire album, despite being the 'noisiest'.
02. Haidilao (feat. BARSCODE and LeeLimo)
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Altought LeeLimo and BARSCODE - alter ego of Dongwook's fellow rapper and NTCD college Code Leeyao - take over the majority of Haidilao with a verse each and the chorus, they seem to keep up their lyrics according to the characterization of King Tough as he begins to leave the 'bland guys' behind to leave with his car.
Haidilao, meaning deep fishing, comes from a chinese proverb meaning 'hopeless endeavor': once again keeping the pessimism and emptiness of his lifestyle. The use of fishing imagery can also be a referennce to HILL, a high caliber club Dongwook has been known to frequent with his friends, located in Hongdae: their logo is a fish hiking up a mountain.
03. Kiss The Ring
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Kiss The Ring is the first instance in the album where Dongwook seems to almost forget to stay in character, or simply decides to drop it on porpuse: many references to his actual career as a K-Pop Idol start to appear in the song, with him infamously recalling being offered sex by a fan in front of his bandmate Cain - which Cain himself confirmed to be a real instance recently in a now deleted Instagram live.
The song's first euphoric brag lines in the verses soon all disolve into a melancholic melody as Dongwook seems split between finding strenght to keep up the confident and uncaring act of King Tough, while being confronted by the isolation of his own reality while driving: 'Chasing dreams I cannot define / The nauseous rewinds.'
04. SEOUL DRIFT
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In Seoul Drift, Dongwook makes a direct parallel between a car ride taken in 2023 - where his album narrator is, timeline wise - and 2021, at the heat of the pandemic, once again clearly mixing in his personal experience.
With the leaking of his private documents, it's been revealed that Dongwook had an opiote overdose on July 2021; giving the post chorus repetition of, 'I'm alive / I'm alive' as he gets a craving for parties and distraction take on another meaning, and resignificating the flashback as a possible PTSD symptom.
05. Shower Song
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Shower Song is, undeniably, not a track that can or tries to hide behind the King Tough moniker. In fact, it introduces a new alter ego that only appears on this song: Mr. Giggles, that can be read to represent the celebrity side of Dongwook, the bridge between him as a person and King Tough. Mr. Giggles is the vision on the mirror that guides him trought the avoided act of showering, and reminds him to keep up with the facade of being fine.
The 'Sins of the week' line can be safely assumed to be a reference not only to the consequences of party life, but also to Dongwook's trainee year under New Wave Music and BBC's Boy Of The Week Project, and as consequence, the first arguable jab directed at LOOPiN - the first off the album, but as is believed by many, not the first off his career.
06. Love Drug (feat. LILILIU)
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Dongwook opens up the introspect Love Drug by asking who is he and apolozing for it right after, and it's hard to deduce who's speaking: if he's adding another layer to the character King Tough or reminiscing over something exclusive about himself. But not only in lyrics and tone is track six different, the longer it's given attention, it seems to explain the split perspective he adopts on The CLIMAXXX, that at it's core seems to read as a struggle between choosing addiction or connection. In the chorus, whoever's narrating seems to have already made up their mind: 'Love is drug / I don't think you're the right one for me.'
LILILIU, the featured artist, is none other than Air Castle's Li Lihua, a long time friend and labelmate of Dongwook's.
07. Let off steam
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Living up to it's name, Let off steam is a vent song filled with repetition delievered with a drunk sounding flow. The song has been quickly associated to be partially, or even entirely about Dongwook's relationship with LOOPiN's J.J given the tongue in cheek 'loop' pre-chorus and the overall regretful sentiment of the track.
Like many people in Dongwook's inner circle, he and Jiahang met while clubbing at HILL in early 2022. Rumors of animosity between Night Child and LOOPiN were growing strong at the time, and the sudden friendship was originally seen as a PR stunt. However, the constant proximity of the duo was perceived as something truly legitimate up util their mysterious falling out on November 11th - which matches the date The CLIMAXXX began production.
08. (Traffic) JAM
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(Traffic) JAM is perhaps the clearest song about substance addiction in The CLIMAXXX, seeming to come from a true moment of sobriety of the narrator, ironically enough: when asked by someone to explain 'the drop' that keeps him hooked, he compares the vicious cycle and the adrenaline rush that's associated with getting intoxicated to being unable to get out of a moving car.
At the outro of (Traffic) JAM, Dongwook pleas to have someone by his side to convince him to stop going overboard, someone to make him step on the breaks in front of red lights.
09. Love Is Anaconda (feat. Kael)
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In a similar vein to Love Drug, Love Is Anaconda is another track of regret and aversion to sentimentality, but this time more rooted in Dongwook rather than any of his alter egos.
The singer featured on song, Kael, has yet to be identified.
10. FWB
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Another The CLIMAXXX song solely attached to a person is FWB - 'Friends With Benefits' -, who describes almost in detail socialite and tech heiress Yang Jiyeon, the oldest friend and nightlife companion Dongwook has to date. The 'Till I go to hell' outro even sees to take direct inspiration from Jiyeon's ankle tattoo, which reads: 'I live like it's a party'.
The pairing met in mid 2020 thought mutual acquaintances. Although Jiyeon has denied ever being in a sexual relationship with Dongwook through the years, the Idol's unwillingness to do the same, as well as his lash posture regarding attacks of fans at the model has been a constant topic of criticism about him.
Differently from any other of Dongwook's solo endeavour, Jiyeon is yet to promote it or talk about it. Given the current situation, is likely she never will.
11. Honey! (feat. HOSUNG)
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Dongwook equals both himself and the subjects of his infatuations as something sweet in doses in the closing track of The CLIMAXXX, Honey!, surprisingly featuring IDOLMAKER's Hosung on the last lines, who's still on hiatus.
Extending the vague lyrics of Honey! to a generalization of all the relationships in the narrator's life isn't far fetched - deep down, he's once again aware he's not interested in connections or actual redemption, he just craves to not be alone when he's under the influence. It exposes a pattern of behavior, a clear game of cat and mouse where both the writer and his moniker comes out as the one on top always.
In the end, time is constantly running fast, the high keeps o running low, and King Tough Kwon Dongwook is, for better or worse, stuck staying the same.
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officialpenisenvy · 5 months
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Top five "What did I just read I love it" books?
OH that's fun. you will find i read very normally-written books i haven't really experimented much with weird prose or whatever which places me at a distinct deficit compared to literally everyone else on here. nonetheless you asked so here's the top five books that personally made for a very weird yet extremely enjoyable read.
house of incest by anais nin: this is the most famous book on here and deservedly so in my opinion. it's a journey into the human psyche and its darkest hours as we struggle to be reborn free from the ties that love and blood impose on us. very beautiful and lyrical.
luminal by isabella santacroce: it follows the story of two young hookers in zurich as they navigate the nightlife and get high on the titular luminal and have various experiences of the sexual and scatological and menstrual kinds. very trippy and incredibly lesbian.
venus by suzan-lori parks: a play and perhaps the most normal work on here, but the structure is somewhat odd so i felt it should be included. it's the deeply tragic story of real-life khoikhoi girl sarah baartman, who was paraded around in a freak show by her very lover until her untimely death whereupon her body was preserved and studied. a terrible story told masterfully and with a very unique structure.
the necrophile by gabrielle wittkop: this has a normal diary structure, but its contents are very disturbing, as the titular necrophile details his exploits and the corpses he steals and abuses in quite graphic terms and with the nuanced approach of a graverobbing connoisseur. very compelling read especially if you have the stomach for it.
4.48 psychosis by sarah kane: by far the most unconventional or weird structure of all (i hesitate to even call it a play), this piece explores the deeply troubled psychological state of a woman who attempts suicide and winds up in a psych ward. this work refuses to be explained and must be experienced for oneself.
in my tbr for weird books i feel like i will love as soon as i get to them: the passion according to g.h.; babyfucker; raving; gravity and grace
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pieroulette · 2 years
Text
|ROUTE 1: Heeseung|A Story That Starts With a Text
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📃summary: when you installed a dating app to just mess around with random people, not knowing that you were turning your peaceful life into a bloody one the moment you sent that text.
🥀genre: yandere, angst, fluff
🥀warning: cursing, kleptomaniac! reader, alcohol, suggestive content, future non-con w a minor involved! (only in one ep, 18+ only mdni! — this is only for entertainment, I don’t condone this behaviour), in this ep — mentions of suicide and self harming, cuts and bruises, drugs, blood.
🥀pairing: heeseung x fem!reader
🥀word count: 11.k
🖋️a/n: this EP is divided into two parts since it's SO LONG. So I hope u enjoy it! And I apologize again if there's any grammar errors (which obv gonna have more than one). Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!! Thank you so much <3
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| EPISODE 7: FOOLS |
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Hee_01: you look so pretty when you cry :)
What?
What is this? What kind of bullshit is this? You nervously gulped, hands shaking as you stare at the bright screen of your phone revealing the text. Your eyes are still straining from the previous incident just now, hundreds of thoughts passing through your mind over what to do. Should you reply or should you not? If you did reply, what would you say?
Is this a trick? A fucking game to fool you? Was Heeseung really fooling you both and your sister? Your eyes slowly look up, checking your surroundings. Was anyone there? Was it him? Inhaling deeply and turning off the phone. You continue to walk through the quiet neighborhood increasing your speed, you turn on your phone again scrolling through your contact numbers.
Who should you call right now? Anxiety slowly creeps its way through your veins, unable to shake the feeling of being watched. You stood still, taking a moment.
“Hey, you’re here?” pretending to call someone as you tapped your foot impatiently, crossing the empty street hastily. Continuing to walk on your way to the city, noises and murmurs; vehicles and the sound of nightlife were heard from the distance as you were still on the phone pretending. You were just a few more blocks away from the city when you felt this uneasy feeling of someone chasing you, halting your speed to take a quick glance at the huge screen in front of you; you saw a dark silhouette behind you taking a quick turn. Your breath hitched, noticing his awkward reactions. Was that? No, it can’t be. Your heartbeat quickens instantly, struggling to think of what to do. Should you run or should you confront him?
Walking at a quick pace once again, passing the dark alley on your right side. You thought, only fools would go inside. You increased your speed, afraid of what was to come and the fact that everything seems to move fast making you dizzy.
Lowering your phone, clenching it in your fist as you knew someone was chasing for you. For the first time in your life, you felt fear. Clearing your throat, you keep walking and walking till you reach the city, hoping that the crowd will soon be there. But fate seems to play its cards on you when you hear someone approaching, sprinting towards you making you gasp.
But it was too late, when someone aggressively grabs your arm preventing you from running resulting in you falling backwards on the ground landing a huge blow to your head, ears growing deaf only hearing white noise like tv sounds, your sight turning from white haze to black, slowly closing your eyes feeling the enormous pain in your brain.
Click, click
Click, click.
Click, click.
Sound of a ticking watch was the only thing you heard even when everything seemed to be muffled, opening your eyes but almost narrowing it due to the sudden hit of bright light. Hands on your eyes trying to cover it from the blindening lights, you sat up slowly groaning from the pain from your head. What had just happened? Memories quickly return, eyes widening as you search through your pockets immediately worrying if you had been perhaps, got hit by a burglar. But to your relief, your hand came in contact with the cold material inside your pocket. Swiftly pulling it out, and turning it on, you groaned as the time was now around 1am. You’ve passed out for nearly 2hrs. You swiped down your notifications but to your dismay, there were no missed calls from your sister. Wasn’t she worried for you? But there was a text from her a few hours ago, gulping as you pressed on it.
sis<3: i'm going to tell mom and dad about what u did.
The content making your heart sank, you brought your hands to your face letting out a heavy sigh. Standing up, dusting your knees and bottom. Looking up at the bright light, you thought, it’s just for a moment, it will pass.
What are you going to do now? It’s too late for you to be out here in the city, and the fact something had happened to you just now was alarming. And you were lucky enough that you were unharmed and safe.
“Let’s just search for Chaeryeong tomorrow.” you told yourself.
You went back home through the cab, with no answers. You wanted to report it to the police, but wouldn't that be too much of a commotion? Also what if Chaeryeong was just pranking around? The cab finally pulls up outside your house, paying the cab’s fee — you get out of the cab, staring at your house. Glancing at your watch, it was now around 2am. The faint smell of alcohol in the air reminds you of the fight you and your sister had a few hours ago, your heart sinking in sadness when you thought of it. You went upstairs quietly, passing your sister’s room whose door was a little bit open. Taking quiet steps, as you took a peek inside the door, you saw your sister laying on the edge of the bed.
Lowering your bag quietly on the floor, you walked towards her — taking the blanket covering your sister’s figure. Fixing the strands of her hair that fell down to her cheeks, you stare at her face; eyes puffy due to crying, burning cheeks because of alcohol, and cherry lips that she must’ve bitten any time she can.
‘Unnie, why won’t you trust me?’ you said in a low voice, raising your finger stroking her cheeks. Lips trembling as the flashbacks appeared through you again.
‘You’re so embarrassing!’
‘Still the same kleptomaniac shit.’
‘You never change!’
Standing up on your feet, leaving her room. Closing the door quietly as you put your head against the door, and your phone in your right hand clasping it.
‘What should i do?’ you thought as to what to do when Chaeryeong is missing, your sister not believing you.. And that cryptic text. You have no idea what’s going on right now, head going dizzy and aching as you were trying to think of is seriously happening right now.
You were being framed and you knew it, there must be someone that’s setting you up. But who? Heeseung? How did he know it was you? As far as you know, only you and your sister knew about what you did; the dating app. Your sister couldn't possibly tell him about you as well, right? So what was with that text, someone was watching over you just now, you sense it. Was this a game? A trick?
Throwing yourself on your bed, staring at the ceiling trying to think of something. But you eventually dazed to sleep, unconsciously waiting for what’s in store for you tomorrow.
"P-please help me-"
Eyes immediately shoot open, you groaned at the dream of Chaeryeong. Just why did you have to have that dream? Sunlight pouring outside your window, the birds chirping and the sound of vehicles past outside your house making your eyes flutter open, sitting up squinting your eyes. For a moment, it felt like a normal day if it wasn’t because of what happened yesterday. You heard noises downstairs, microwave ticking and sounds of plates clinking with each other hinting that your parents must’ve woken up. And your sister as well. Gulping, you don’t know why your heart was beating so hard with the thought of talking with her again. But you ignore it, standing up to take a shower. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you notice your heavy puffy eyes, still obvious because of your crying last night, you sighed.
With your necklace dangling, you put it on. Getting your backpack and shoes on, with your heart beating as you went down the stairs with slow steps. Slowly revealing your parents and your sister at the table, eating. You took a quick glance at your sister, who was on her phone. And to your parents with an expression that you definitely knew what it was. However you decided to ignore it, taking quick steps right through the door. But your parents immediately called for you, halting your steps.
“(Name).” your breath hitching, just a few more steps through the door. You felt their eyes burying holes on your back. You turn at them, emitting a low hum.
“Come here. We have to talk.” your dad said, his voice was painted with seriousness.
“We’ve book a meeting with your Ms. Koo from before-”
“What?” .. “What do you mean?”
“Your old therapist, Mrs. Koo.”
“No, but why would I need her again?”
“(Name), your condition is coming back again.” your mom sighed.
“Who said that?” you looked over at your sister with an unreadable expression, “Unnie? I told you right, I didn't steal Heeseung’s sister's necklace.” emphasizing the last word purposely.
“Stop lying, god.” your sister spat out, sighing heavily. Her tired eyes looking at you with that expression that you can’t bear to even think of, making your heart sink.
“We have to go the Lee family by tomorrow, to apologize..-”
“Huh? Apologize?! Are you serious?” you exclaimed, “Why you gotta do that? Huh?”
“It’s their family heirloom, something important to them. And it’s only wise that we have to apologize.” your dad said.
“Can’t you atleast try to listen to me first? If I get any explanation for it!?” you exclaimed.
“(Name), just please listen to us. We understand you but-”
“No! I dont give a fuck about them, i already said i didnt do it! You’re only embarrassing yourself, mom dad!”
“You’re the one who’s embarrassing us.” your sister spat out.
“Chaewon-”
“Dad stop, you’re spoiling her too much.” your sister said, “to the point she’s even lying, a pathetic excuse to save herself just like she always did.” glaring at you.
“Stop it! Just because I lied before, just because I stole before. Doesn’t mean I'll do it again! I tried my fucking best to stop myself. What right do you have to say that?” you cried again.
“(Name)! Don’t make things worse than it already was!” your mom cried out. “We all know that you had this condition, and we won’t blame you for that. However, you must apologize when you made a mistake.”
“But I already said I didn't do it! What’s so hard to believe about it?” you stood up, your chair making a shriek sound from your sudden action. “Just because that fucking necklace was in my pocket?-”
“No cursing, (Name).”
“Why is no one thinking that someone could’ve set me up!?”
“Who the fuck would set you up? Your imaginary enemy? Okay let’s say that girl from your high school, but was she there at that party? Who the hell would even?” your sister spat out.
You stayed silent. You weren’t sure if you have to say about the text, or even accuse Heeseung. Was it necessary?
“What? Can’t think of anything?”
“This is pointless. I’m done.” you took your backpack , taking a swift turn to the door. Protests coming from your parents but you ignored them until your dad said.
“I already informed your teacher that you won’t be at school tomorrow for a while.”
“Huh? What?”
“You’ll have to take therapy, and we will still go to the Lee family to apologize.”
“And you’re grounded for a week, with no electronic devices.”
“Wtf? Mom!”
“It’s for your own good!”
“No! You can't do this time me again!" you immediately stormed out of the house amidst your parents protests, feet quickly running to the opposite way of your house.
“Just ignore her, Mom, Dad.” Chaewon says, “She’ll come back later.”
You halt your steps, taking a quick breath and trying to think of what to do now. Scoffing, they can’t be serious? Grounding you? Therapist? Just what they were eating? You pulled your backpack tighter, skipping school to visit Chaeryeong’s house.
You never thought it was something serious since there were cases when you two rarely called each other, but never does something alarming like this happen. Breathing deeply, the anxiety filled you in as you contemplated whether to go to her house or not. Her family wasn't the nicest ones, and Chaeryeong wasn't close with them at all. But you still gather your courage, knocking on the door. Then multiple noises were heard behind the door, as if there were bottles scattered around on the floor. The door opens up, revealing a young man somewhat around college age. You frowned, you've never seen him.
"Who?" he asked.
"I'm looking for Chaeryeong. Is she here?" you asked, raising your eyebrows.
"W-who? What?"
"Chaeryeong. Madam's oldest daughter. She lives here." you repeated emphasizing her name.
"Oh, that girl?" the man's face contorted into disgust slowly, "That kid hasn't come around since weeks ago, probably hooking up somewhere in the street." he laughed. Clenching your fists, you wanted to punch him, but you knew it won't do you any good.
"And you, who are you?" he asked back.
"I'm her friend, if by any chance, has she called you or anything?"
"Miss, like I said. I have no idea, she could've died for gods know when-"
"Who's there?" a woman approached behind him, hugging him in a not so platonic way, you immediately recognize it as Chaeryeong's mom.
"Oh.. (Name), why are you here?" she sweetly asked, with a hint of alcohol hanging around in the air making you want to puke.
"I'm looking for Chaeryeong." you smiled back,
"Ah, haven't seen her in awhile, and (Name) don't trouble yourself so much about that girl. She does nothing but trouble." stroking your hand in patterns as she smiled at you with so much fakeness.
To your dismay, and not really surprised about it. Chaeryeong’s family wasn’t at all concerned about her disappearance, almost as if it was just a daily routine for them. Your face contorting into disgust, as to how she could just live her life normally as if her daughter wasn’t there? Your feet slowly lift to cross the street in front of you, plenty of people crossing at the same time both behind you and in front of you.
'Just where are you, Chaeryeong?'
Deep in your thought, you didn’t realize the approaching car. To your peripheral view, you gasped as your eyes widened when you saw the car speeding up into your direction in an immensely slow motion like those in movies. But you were unable to lift your feet, as if it was stuck on the ground by something. You wanted to scream and alert the crowd to escape, but it felt like you’ve gone mute, unable to open your mouth. you felt a voice inside you trying to come out to alert the entire crowd.
'Am I going to die?'
' ...Here?'
'No… I can't die yet!'
'I can't!'
'I have to move! God freaking damnit, move your feet (Name)!'
'Please! Please!'
'I can’t die, I can’t die, I cannot die yet!'
Crash.
“Who the fuck told Heemin about (Name)’s condition?” Chaewon asked, adamant to know who it was. Who was the person that dared to snitch on her?
But to her dismay, no one admits anything.
“Not me.”
“Certainly not me too, Chae.”
“I wouldn’t dare to do that, obviously.”
“Are you sure? Cuz last time I checked, I only told you guys.” Chaewon insists.
“No, we won’t do that. And moreover, why would we do that? For what?”
“It’s not our fault if your sister’s condition has gone viral or whatsoever, Chae.” Eunchae shrugged.
“And again, what’s so important about who tells who- after all, she did steal, right?” Sunghoon said, passing Chaewon and plopping on the couch.
“Jeez, it’s such a hassle going all through that. It’s so annoying.” Niki hissed, glaring at Chaewon.
“Can’t you atleast take care of your sister tho, Chaewon? You do know how embarrassing it is, right?” Jay said.
“Yeah, why did you even bring her to the party in the first place? Look what trouble she gave, especially to Heemin.” said Jake, playing pools with Sunoo.
“I know, it pissed me off alot too.” Chaewon spat out.
“It’s fine, Chae.” Sakura gently pats her on her back, assuring her that it’s fine. “It’s not like we can know if (Name) truly changes or not, right? It’s not Chae’s fault, so don’t blame her for it guys.”
“But could she even steal in the first place tho?” Jungwon, who was watching tv, spoke.
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing, it just doesn’t sit well with me. When she was clearly playing the game..”
“Maybe she stole during the game, everyone’s busy hiding right? You know, a klepto. They are just so good at stealing we couldn’t even notice.” Niki scoffed.
“I don’t know..”
Then the door to the apartment opens, revealing Heeseung who bought pizzas and stuff for the group, making them cheer in happiness after seeing what he bought.
“Hey babe.” Heeseung gives a quick peck to Chaewon, a light blush kissing the apples of her cheeks. She follows Heeseung to the kitchen, helping him with the stuffs.
“You know, i’m still sorry about yesterday.”
“Tch, we already talk about that right? It’s fine, babe. Don’t worry.”
“But your sister?”
“Noona? She’s a bit pissed, but that’s all. Don’t mind about her, but–” Heeseung paused,
“But what?”
“The problem is noona complains it to mom and dad, and now they’re upset about it.”
“What!? So what now? What are we gonna do?”
“Do what?”
“Your parents! What are they going to think of me now? My family?’
Heeseung chuckles, “C’mon babe, it’s fine. They’ll forget it eventually. It’s just some piece of heirloom and yea..”
“No, i can’t let this.”
“Huh?” Heeseung was confused by what she said, turning to look at her.
“I’ll get (Name) to apologize to your parents and your sister again.”
“Wait what? You don’t have to go that far! How would (Name) feel?”
Scoffing, she rolled her eyes. “If we’re going to talk about feelings, then she should’ve been at least considerate enough to not steal something important.”
“But-”
“She’s just ugh- just what is she planning again?” Chaewon brings her palms to her face, sighing deeply,
“That freaking girl.”
You woke up, eyes groggily opening, the sight in front of you revealing a few people looking at you with concerned expressions and mumbling something. Making out from what they said, you heard them calling for an ambulance and the others protesting after seeing that you were awake.
“Miss, are you okay?” Are you okay? The question made all memories just now find its way back to you, adrenaline quickly filled your body as you immediately sat up, eyes widening and breath quickly going up down as you scanned your surroundings and back to your own body.
“Is everyone okay!?” you exclaimed with immense concern, the weirdly normal sight of crowds in front of you looking so vastly different than the current situation just now. You were currently in a small shop, perhaps been taken by the people. You get up on your feet, storming out of the door to check the accident that had occured. You weren’t prepared to see it as you gulped down your throat, sweat trailing onto your forehead down your cheeks.
Murmurs, and noises. Feets scattering around and numerous tappings, and clinking of glasses and plates surrounding the entire city. Vehicles passing through and out as if nothing had happened in the first place.
What?
You froze, seeing the streets you had crossed just now that was supposed to have an accident due to the speeding car approaching through the crowd was weirdly fine. As if nothing had happened at all.
“Miss!” you turned your back to the old man calling for you, immediately recognizing him from the shop among the concerned people surrounding you when you woke up. “Are you okay?”
“Why do you have to ask that? Obviously you have to call for the ambulance!” another elder woman exclaimed, looking at you with a concerned expression.
“H-here, where- where’s the people?” you asked, stuttering as you gesture to the street. The old man scratching his head at your sudden question.
“People? Why?”
“W-why? There was just an accident just now-” you took a quick glance again at the street, “a car, approaching all of us-” you halt your question, seeing the confused expression of the two elder couple.
“But you passed out of the blue on the street just now, miss.” confused, what was she saying?
“W-what?” you asked, dumbfounded. “But there was a car accident just now!”
“Car accident?”
“Yes, on that street!”
“But miss, you fainted on the street.”
“Huh? W-what?”
“Right?” the old man confirmed with the old woman beside him who in turn nodded, a bit puzzled due to your reaction.
“I fainted?” they nodded again at your question. You turned back at the street again, the memories; the speeding car, the slow motion effect, your feet stuck on the ground despite how you wanted to escape to survive from the death quickly approaching you. You remembered you screamed, for help and for the entire crowd to escape and then it was all black. Was it all a hallucination? But it felt so real. Sweat slowly trailing down to your cheeks as you can’t comprehend what had just happened, everything felt so real. The familiar feeling slowly fills your body as you remember this had happened before. The party yesterday, the incident that had happened to you inside the room and your assaulter.
Was it all fake?
The elders had suggested bringing you to the hospital but you politely refused saying that you were fine, and so you continued on your way to search for Chaeryeong whilst disturbed by what had happened. However, you regretted immediately as your breathing grew stuffy and it felt so suffocating. Your knees felt weak, and your lungs felt it was about to burst anytime. Why were you feeling so weak all of a sudden? Was it because of the heat? Bringing your hands on your knees, supporting your lower body as you try to catch your breathing trying to steady it. This was unusual.
And for some reason, you’re getting the feeling of someone watching over you again. You immediately turned your head looking around for any signs, but no one was there. Just what is this? You lower yourself down, trying to support yourself by bringing your knees to your chest as your head just keeps getting dizzy.
Groaning, “It hurts..” the blazing sunlight was making it worse, but just then, you saw a shadow casted on the ground. Someone is standing behind you, making your breath hitch. Who is this? What is this person planning to do?
And just as you tried to get on your feet again, you felt a coat hovering on you. What?
“Miss, are you okay?” it’s a man, a young man. You wanted to turn around and see his face but you couldn’t, when your head grows dizzy again.
“I-im okay, it’s fine.” You manage to let out a few words even though you were struggling to breath with the dizziness in your head.
“You don’t seem like you’re okay tho..” the man said, and you can sense it in his voice that he doesn’t know what to do as well. “Ah..”
“It’s fine, I appreciate your c-concern..”
“um.." he hesitated, "I’ll just do this then!” He stood behind your back, and you suddenly felt wind blowing through your face, and when you opened your eyes it was a notebook. When you inspect it closer, you saw two initials that were etched on the bottom left but you couldn’t really see it. He uses the notebook on his hand as a fan; swinging it back and forth to blow a cool breeze to you. And a coat at your right side, assuming that he was protecting you even further from the heat. But what caught your attention the most was his watch, it looks so old but so pretty that you wanted to raised your hand to touch it.
“T-thanks.” you managed to let out.
"It's okay." His voice was so soothing that it immediately made your eyes heavy, slowly closing it till you reach the dreamland.
It goes on for a while, till you felt better again. Your breathing has become steady, and you slowly flutter your eyes open. Had you taken a nap in that position? It can’t be? You immediately stood up, turned around to thank him. But to your dismay, he was nowhere to be found.
“Hello?” trying to search for him, however he was nowhere to be found. Heck, you don’t even know his face so how could you even search for him? Somehow, it made you feel sad because the way he took care of you just now even though you were both strangers was a gesture that made your heart flutter, and you wanted to thank him again for it.
Sighing, you gave up. Continuing on your way to search for Chaeryeong again, however, you were unaware of the pair of eyes that was watching over you since a moment ago.
You couldn’t take it anymore, squinting your eyes as you decided to go home for the day. Tired and hopeless that you weren’t able to find even a single trace of Chaeryeong. You went everywhere to places you two hung out, ate or even just messed around with people. No one had seen her, and that worries you alot. However you were too tired, you couldn’t handle it anymore so you went home, Immediately ignoring the fact about the entire ordeal between you and your family in the morning just now.
Opening the door slowly, trying to not make any noise as your feet dragged itself through the cold floor of your house. You look up to see if your parents or either your sister was present, to your relief, no one was home. You tried your best to go to your room, immediately throwing yourself on the bed feeling the coziness and warmth, and the pain in your body subsiding. What’s happening to you?
Groggily touching your forehead in front of the mirror in front of you while you are laid on the bed, you look like someone who had taken drugs with that red eyes and puffy nose. You haven't eaten anything yet since morning but how could you feel weak like this?
Remembering about the accident just now, you were left with more questions as to how you can hallucinate such detailed events? It felt so real. So real it still gives you chills by now. Letting yourself fall on your bed, staring at the ceiling while you wave your head in a playful manner;
'It felt so real . . .'
You let yourself fall asleep into the dark void and twinkles appear in your sleep.
Sun had set down, and everyone was rushing back home or to do whatever they intended to do at nighttime. Unbeknownst to you, who was deep asleep, you were unaware of the loud slam of your house's door and quick rushy footsteps approaching your room.
The door to your room immediately opens, and the person aggressively wakes you up, instantly snapping you out of your nap, only for you to meet with your sister's eyes filled with annoyance. You were about to say something, but she ignores you and forcefully takes your bag in which you protest, pulling it back despite your headache.
"Unnie! What are you doing?!" You exclaimed, your throat felt sore and your fingers felt weak to even grab your bag's strap.
"Give it to me." She spat out, using her entire strength to pull your bag in which she succeeded.
"What are you doing!? Mom! Dad!" You shouted for your parents downstairs but to your dismay, no one answered, hinting that no one was home but you and your sister.
"Dad and mom aren't here, and also you are grounded. Remember?" Your sister scoffed, tilting her head.
"Grounded? For what!" You spat out, "Don't tell me you're caging me in here just because of that shitty thing yesterday!?"
"Yea, you're right–"
"Unnie! How many times do I have to say!?-"
"And how many times do I have to say to stop lying! Stop lying! (Name)!" She yelled at you, her face was filled with anger as she glared at you.
“I don't care! I won’t let you cage me in here! … “Even so for something I didn’t do!” you pushed her off, perhaps a bit too hard that she fell on the floor hissing in pain and your parents who were now home heard the entire commotion, rushed through the door.
“What are you two doing!? (Name)!? Chaewon!?” your mom exclaimed, her gaze then falls on Chaewon who was on the ground.
“Chaewon!”
“What do you think you’re doing!?” Your mom looked up to you, a bit upset over what happened.
"I-i didn't meant to!" You defended yourself, desperate to escape for what was to come.
“You’re grounded.” your dad grew mad, seeing your sister on the ground.
"Dad! You can't do this to me! Again?"
"Again? (Name), then why are you being like this again?" Your dad asked.
“You shouldn’t do that to your sister!”
“It was an accident!” you screamed back.
“Enough is enough, (Name).” your mom said.
And so you were here now, stuck inside your room with the door locked by your parents. It has been a few days since you’ve been grounded, and you could only smack the door and protests but all of it fell into deaf ears. It continued on for a while till they visited Heeseung’s house.
And the day finally comes where you are now standing in front of Heeseung’s house, in front of their door. The same house that threw you into all these troubles. The hellhole where it all begins,
“You better watch your attitude, (Name).” your sister said, as you follow behind your sister and your parents. Back in the party, you couldn’t really see how the house looks with all the messy stuff all over the party and of course the crowd. But now you’re here, in the broad daylight, you just noticed how good the house looks, and how big it really was.
So Heeseung was just as well-off as you are. And somehow, it reminds you of your sister's crush. That guy.
“Well, look what we got here. At least the thief went in through the door for the first time, yea?" You turned your head at the mocking voice behind you, revealing Heeseung’s sister, Heemin.
“Dad, mom!” She called out and then you saw her parents, Heeseung’s parents walking downstairs. And they really emit that aura, and their features that completely combines into a perfect piece that was now their children; Heemin and Heeseung. You scoffed tho, they do have the genes but the attitude? A complete trash. And just like all over again, you felt as if the history had repeated itself, as Heeseung’s parents presented themself in front of you.
It felt awkward, when you’re now at the table eating lunch with Heeseung’s entire family and Heeseung himself at the other side of the table, facing you.
“So, I guess there was a misunderstanding we got here?” Heeseung’s dad asked, wiping his mouth off with a tissue.
“Yes, that’s why we’re here to apologize .. over what (Name) did.” Your mom said, with her expression adorned with embarrassment.
“Apologize? Do you actually think apologizing would settle everything?” Heemin spoke, “Mam, you could’ve at least look after your klepto daughter first then all of this won’t even happen in the first place.” letting out a scoff.
“Heemin, that’s not proper at all, manners please.” Their mom said.
“Mom, then tell me was it even the slightest proper or whatever manners this girl got right here?” she glares at you, “That necklace was important to us, and you know that. Even you, Heeseung.”
“Oh god, noona. You’re really getting annoying now, just get over it.” Heeseung sighs, “I’m sorry for her attitude, noona is just really like this.”
“No, it’s only fair that she acts like that.” Your breath hitched when your sister spoke, “Even I would act the same if someone stole what was mine.”
Clenching your fist, gripping the hem of your shirts between your fingers as you hang your head low.
“See? Even Chaewon agrees!” Heemin exclaimed with a smile. “God, Chae. Why do you even have a sister like that?”
“Just shut up for once please.” Heeseung whisper-yelled at her.
“No, I won’t? Just seeing her face pissed me off a lot so you can’t blame me!” Then she turns around to look over at her parents again, “Even mom and dad were pissed when they heard about it.”
“We’re really sorry over what happened, and that we didn’t teach our child well enough. That’s why we’re here bringing her to apologize.”
“You really don’t have to do that, after all we don’t know if she did steal it.” Heeseung protests,
Heemin let out an exaggerated groan, not sure what to say to her brother but she was definitely pissed. Their parents were actually quieter than you expected, which kinda reminds you of Heeseung. It felt as if they were letting Heemin decide everything, because after all, she’s the one who got the heirloom, and so she should be the one who got the apology. And everyone at this table knew, it was only now that you realize.
“Just apologize, (Name).” your sister says, a dejavu hitting you once again bringing you all the way back to the party. “Apologize properly this time, and show us how you felt guilty and that you were sorry, and that you won’t do it again.”
“Hah, I doubt that last part.” Heemin scoffs, within a split second she winces in pain turning to glare at Heeseung.
"She doesn’t have to do that. If she said she didn’t do it then she didn’t.”
“Just what had happen to your fucking brain.” Heemin spats out.
Then you finally let out a scoff, clearly amused by the siblings. By your parents, your sister and everyone in this room. Your shoulder fell as you raise your head up to look at them, with a smile adorning your face.
“What’s so funny, huh?” Heemin raised her eyebrows.
Scoffing, raising your middle finger in front of Heeseung and his sister, following your entire family’s jaw dropping at the sight. “Fuck you, snakeu siblings. Apologize? Eat your own shit.”
Getting up on your feet, you glare at them both. “One has a trashy attitude, loud as fuck like a dying fish, and one is two-faced bastard that acts like he’s all kind.”
“(Name)!!”
Then you look over at Heeseung whose face was replaced with surprise,“What? Still acting like clueless when you clearly sent me that text?”
“Huh? W-what text?” Heeseung’s eyes widened in fractions in which you scoffed.
“And you?” you turn your gaze to Heemin, “You got such a loud mouth, try to use that mouth that helps the society next time.”
"Bitch!?"
You stormed out of the house, you heard your parents calling for you with anger in their voice, but you ignored them.
Crossing the street, with your phone now in your hand. Apparently, as much as you hate your condition, it actually helps you alot sneaking in through your dad’s pockets to get your phone, succeeding with no efforts involved.
Now you are outside, you’re going to take the chance to go to the police station to report for Chaeryeong’s missing abouts.
“I really hope you’re safe, Chaeryeong. Please.”
Now at the police station, you feel uneasy and growing impatient as you have to wait for the others to finish filing first. Gazing out of the window, it has been a few days since you’ve been grounded and a few days since the call incident, you’re really worried that you haven’t received at least one call from Chaeryeong. You’re really immensely hoping with all your heart, clasping your hands together bringing your head closer to it, that she is safe. And nothing had happened.
Sitting in front of the desk, now filing a case with the officer in front of you. You sighed, it took quite a long time. What a hassle, you thought.
“When have you last seen her?”
“Back in school.”
“When did you last communicate with her?”
“Through a call, she called me on weekends. Asking me for help.”
“Help? Then can you show us your call log?”
You took out your phone, swiping through your phone calls history. Wait. Your eyebrows knitting together as you keep refreshing the call log, swiping up and down, searching for her last call.
“Miss?”
“W-wait, i’m still looking for it..” You said in a low voice.
You keep swiping, swiping, and swiping up and down. But you can't find it.
What the fuck?
You can’t find Chaeryeong’s last call. What the fuck? What the fuck is happening? You thought as your jaw dropped, eyes looking up to the officer who was now looking at you with confused expression. To your shock, not even a single trace of her in the call history. Trace nowhere to be found, as if she never called you in the first place. Dumbfounded and lost, as reality finally dawns on you.
Were you hallucinating?
'What's happening to me?' you cried out to yourself.
You walked back home, still shocked over the missing phone call of Chaeryeong just now. It was nighttime when you were home, you were unable to think of anything but that missing call. So now that you arrived in front of your house, you weren’t aware that your sister was waiting for you.
“Unnie?” you called out, and when you saw her face; you knew where you had first seen the way she looked at you like that. She approaches you in heavy footsteps, eyes filled with tears and her breathing that can be clearly heard amidst the silence.
Slap!
It happened in a split moment as you instantly raise your right hand to your cheek, you were left shocked. Raising your eyes to look at your sister, with your lips trembling, you can’t believe she did what she just did.
“Why the fuck did you do that!?”
You felt your body shaking in horror, cheeks were still stinging due to the impact. It felt painful, but for some reason, the pain wasn’t solely from there. Because the last time she had slapped you, was way back before.
“You just made things worse! Why did you say that to Heemin and Heeseung!?”
“Are you really seriously trying to make everything go back to the way it was before again!?"
You gasped, "Why would I!?"
"Then why did you do that fucking bullshit to Heeseung!?"
"Heeseung! Heeseung! Heeseung!" You trashed around, stomping the ground with an immense anger, pissed at your sister. "Why does everything have to be about him!? Why does everything have to be about them!?"
"If you ask me why I am acting like this then why don't you ask yourself the same thing!?" you screamed at her.
"If you didn't fucking steal in the first place, none of this would happen. I told you, control yourself!" she pointed at you with her finger, "You were doing just fine all this time!! Then why are you doing it again!? Piece of shit!"
You screamed at the top of your lungs, by now your parents must've heard the entire commotion. But you didn't care, you fucking don't care.
You took out your phone from your bag, swiping aggressively through your phone and tapping the app.,
"I'll show you just what kind of boyfriend you got!" You spat out, swiping through your multiple chats, then Heeseung's name finally appeared.
Tapping it, "You see th-" as you try to show the recent text you got before, you immediately caught the screen and it weirded you out.
Heeseung's text was nowhere to be found.
You swiped down, trying to refresh it. It wasn't there. Again, you refreshed the content.. It was nowhere. You refreshed it again, but it wasn't fucking there.
"What the fuck is this!??" You cried out, angry tears welling up in your eyes as the tears drops down to your phone's screen, while you were desperate to find that one text. That one text that's going to reveal everything.
"Where is it!?" You keep refreshing the chat, over and over again. And there your sister watches you as you frantically won't stop tapping your phone.
"Now where the fuck is it? What were you going to show me huh?"
"Heeseung's text!" You cried out, "H-he sent me something, that wasn't appropriate!!"
Groaning ever so loud, your sister let out a deep sigh, "Kim (Name)! Have you gone insane!?" She tooks your phone, smashing it on the ground.
"What are you fucking planning again, huh!?"
"Plan what?! What!?" You screamed back. “All I was trying to do was to save you from that piece of shit!”
“Since the beginning, I don’t trust him! He could’ve been fooling you and I was right!”
“Ah, so you were acting all this time?”
“W-what?”
“You were pretending that you were happy for my relationship with Heeseung! You said you were fine with it.” shaking her head, she glares at you, “Ah.. Do you actually like him?”
“L-like him!? Why would I?” you shook your head desperately, “Unnie! Even if I did! I wouldn’t choose him over you, and you know that!”
“I was only trying to save you!! From him!”
“For fuck’s sake, save me? From him?” your sister scoffed with an amused expression
“Save!? Save!? Are you hearing yourself?” Your sister scoffed, “After what you’ve done before, you’re going to save me!?
“It’s not the same t-thing..!” your lips tremble after hearing what she said.
“Not the same thing? Then how the fuck everything’s happening again? At first I didn’t really believe it but.. Now that you were trying to blame him-”
“It’s not what you think! It’s not like that!! I told you I won’t do that again, Unnie!” you stomped your feet on the ground repeatedly, helpless that things were going worse than you intended. “He’s fooling you!”
“Are you seriously going to ruin what’s important for me again!?" your sister asked, gesturing to herself,
Ah, that was it. The same sentence. The same sentence that you tried so hard to forget.
“Do you actually want me to die again!?”
“No!!” You shook your head, crying endlessly. Was it coming back all over again? Clenching your fists tightly with your head finally hanging low, your tears fell on the ground.
“I swear I-..” you tightly closed your eyes, all the painful memories coming back again.
.
.
.
— FLASHBACK —
Sitting alone under the tree, thinking of how ironic it was since the tree you were on right now was all but alone itself too. Looking down at your pair of hands, the same hands that can’t stop stealing, the same hands that made people look at you with disgust; and those pairs of hands were yours. All you got was your best friend, Chaeryeong who was to no little weren’t disturbed by your condition at all. Your parents, who were immensely understanding of your condition and tried their best to cure it by sending you to the therapist. And there was your sister, your sister to say the least wasn’t the closest with you but she still spoils you a little by spending time with you sometimes and you were very happy with the little attention you got from her.
And you’ve always wished for her to always stay like that.
However, that one particular day came. Revealing your sister with a complete change of character, as if you never met this kind of version of her. Screaming at you, fuming with anger; a complete change of her character, of how she used to act around you. And for the first time ever, you caught that certain gaze from her.
“(Name)! Where are you!?” you heard your sister shouting for your name.
“I’m here!” you answered back.
In just a short few minutes, you heard her approaching in loud angry steps which somehow scares you a bit, wondering what it could be.
There she was, your sister barged into your room with an angry expression clearly shown on her face as she glared at you. Stuttering, you asked. “What’s wrong, Unnie?”
What happened next was quite fast, she ignored you and pushed you from the bed, instantly flipping your pillows, checking beneath your bed sheet, scattering your stuff which made you cry.
“Unnie! What- What are you doing!?”
“Shut up!” she yelled at you, ignoring you as she was fixated on searching for something. You stood up and held both her arms, persuading her to stop and answer you but she pushed you again to the floor.
“What are you doing!?” you screamed at her. She then turns around, ruffling her hair and groaning in disappointment.
“Where is it?” she asked, eyes completely fixated on you.
“What?”
“Don’t pull off that shit, where is it! You stole it right!?” she hovers onto you, grabbing both your arms and shaking you.
“I didn’t steal anything!” you defended yourself.
“You’re lying. I know you’re lying, you better give me that back!”
“Get off me!” you gathered your strength, pushing her which leads to her falling on the edge of the bed, hurting her a bit. “Unnie! I didn't meant to-”
“Don’t touch me.”
“W-what?” you moved towards her, “Unnie–”
“We’re never even close in the first place, so why are you calling me that?”
"Unnie.."
“Your condition, you’re really embarrassing all of us here. Mom, dad. And yet I tried my best to stay close with you even when your condition disgusts me!”
“Disgust?” you stuttered, “How is it disgusting?”
"I told you to never touch what belongs to me, right?!" she yelled at you as you struggled to keep those tears in your eyes from falling down your cheeks, not wanting to show that you are weak.
"I didn't do it! I might be a kleptomaniac shit or whatever but I never touch what was yours!" you screamed back at her. “Even if I stole a hundred times from others! I never touched what was yours!” you trashed around, crying heavily.
“Chaewon! (Name)!” your parents suddenly appeared in front of your room’s door.
And instead of reprimanding Chaewon, they scolded you instead. Your parents were caring and understanding about your condition, but that was the problem; they understand but they never trust you. Grounded in your room again, you teared up remembering what your sister said.
Gazing out of the window, you finally realized. Your sister had always been like that, she was one of those people who loathed you because of your condition. The only difference was, she kept it and wore another different persona around you. And you immediately knew that there’s no one but your parents that could’ve asked her to do that. She never actually changes, and that gaze from her today.. That gaze has always been there, it has always been.
You were never just aware of it.
Or maybe you’ve always known, you just purposely close your eyes with blindness because you can’t bear another person loathe you, and that person was your sister.
Alone.
You were alone in the house during the weekend, your dad is out for work and your mom had gone shopping with Chaewon. You asked, why didn't they bring you? Your condition grew somewhat worse when you were presented with all the stuffs laid on the table while going on a shopping trip with them before and got caught miserably. Meeting the eyes of your sister looking at you with disgust in which she gets rid of it quickly, but you were fast to sense it but chose to ignore it, telling yourself that it was nothing.
But you know deep down within your hearts, you were fooling yourself. To make you feel a bit better, to fool yourself into the delusion that your sister was the one who’s going to be by your side. But look where it puts you now, not only were you a kleptomaniac, you were also delusional. it hurts you. You wanna stop too, but it feels as if nothing can cure your miserable condition.
Ting! Ting!
You heard the bell ring, “are they home this early?” you said to yourself as you looked up towards the clock.
Standing up to open the door, you are met with an unfamiliar face; a boy so tall that you felt like you were a dwarf, if it wasn’t because of his sweet smile, you would’ve hid in the corner because of how intimidating he looked. But as you think of it for a few more minutes, he somewhat looks familiar? Your mind immediately tries to find where you saw him and then you remembered; your sister’s lockscreen. Crush. He was your sister’s crush.
“Hi! Is Chaewon here?” you observed how polite and cheerful he was.
“N-no.. She’s out with mom.”
“O-oh, my bad then.” the boy shyly answered, it was a silent for a brief moment, then he brought his gaze back to you, “Then i hope it wouldn’t be that much trouble for you to give it to Chaewon.” He pulled out a small box from his bag.
“Of course, it’s no problem!” you exclaimed happily, somewhat delighted to see that a boy this kind and sweet was there by your sister’s side.
“Thank you so much! Here,” he handed you the box, smiling sweetly at you. You stared at the box in your hands, wrapped in pink and with a red ribbon on top of it. It was so pretty, you thought. And for some reason, you wonder when that particular day when a boy would give you one too?
“Oh, by the way, you are?” his voice immediately snapped you out from your thoughts, knitting your eyebrows together as you didn’t hear what he had said.
Immediately catching up, “You first?”
“Ah, alright.” he said with a cheerful smile, “Just call me K. Everyone calls me that!”
You chuckled at how cute he said that, “How about you? Do you work here?”
“No, I’m-”
“Oh by the way, I forgot.” you tilted your head curious as to what he was going to say, and with his face turning into a serious one. “Can you please avoid Chaewon’s sister and like completely avoid her, don’t show this to her at all?”
Your breath hitched, you felt your heart sink in disappointment. What?
“You know how she is, right?” a chuckle left out from his mouth. “So I would really appreciate it if you could do me that favor!
The cheerful smile appeared on his face again, “I can't possibly let another necklace get stolen, right?”
“I never stole it.” you said in a low voice, not sure if you want him to hear it.
“Hmm?” he raised his eyebrows in confusion.
But you felt a wave of courage within your heart, “I. Didn’t. Stole. It.” you emphasize each word clear enough for him to hear. His eyes widened in fractions as he tried to take in what you said, still confused.
“I’m her sister–” you saw his confused expression of his slowly turning into something dark as you spoke.
“Ah! (Name), right?” He asked with a smile on his face, “I didn’t expect this.” letting out a chuckle.
“Well then, I really hope you didn’t. But alright, it’s okay. I changed my mind. I wouldn’t mind if you steal this again-”
“W-what?”
“You see.. My family is hosting a party next weekend. Birthday party, my birthday. Your family is invited, even you! How nice, right? Even though, your sister actually doesn’t want you to follow along,”
You pressed your lips tight, you felt like you wanted to cry but you stopped yourself.
“But how unfortunate it would be that her little sister wouldn’t be there to witness her engagement?”
“Engagement?” surprised by what he said, you shook your head “W-what engagement?
In which his eyes widened in fractions, “Oh! Didn’t she tell you?” he chuckles, “No.. one?”
“But it’s fine, it’s fine. You’re still invited. So wear pretty clothes okay?” He said, “Also you can get this one, and I'll just give another one to your sister. Much even better. So deal?”
“You got another one too, so two I guess?” He then moves closer to you, sighing exaggeratingly, “So I'm asking you for a favor, please kindly control yourself and have some basic decency to not steal on my special day, okay?” He patted your head.
“After all, it’s your sister’s special day too.”
Weeping silently within the corners of your room, you somehow felt embarrassed. How did he know? Did your sister tell him? What is this? Not only your own school knew about your condition but them too? Eyes and ears that speak ill words without your knowledge makes your heart sink deeper and suffocates you thoroughly. You pressed both your hands onto your ears as you wanted to stop all those devilish whispers, bringing your knees to your chest, hugging it tight to at least provide you with a sense of comfort. All of a sudden, you feel a sense of annoyance building up inside you when you remember that boy’s face, chuckling at you. What was he chuckling for? What was funny? It brought a deep hatred within you starting at that moment.
Letting out a scoff, you glared at the box and checked its content. “Ah, so this is what you were looking for?”
A spark of hatred begins to dance inside your heart.
The cold air greeted you when you entered the mansion, quickly stroking your arms with your hands to find warmth. Hissing in cold, as to how they could let the mansion freeze? Do they want the entire crowd to freeze to death?
“Ah, sweetheart. Finally!” you heard a motherly soft voice behind you, and you immediately caught on that this was K’s mother. She pulls your sister in a hug, stroking her hands with hers as they spoke sweet-nothings to each other. And alongside K’s mom, a man around her age appeared beside her.
“It is very nice to meet y’all, as expected. Seeing Chaewon, it’s only wise to expect that she came from a distinguished family.” The old man spoke, “You didn’t disappoint me, K.”
“It’s my pleasure, dad.” with his ever-so polite manners that never ceases to amaze you, you could compare him to a prince if it wasn’t because of what he did to you back when you both first met. He was a wolf disguised in a sheep’s clothing.
“And ah, who’s this wonderful little girl?”
“This is.. My sister, (Name).” your sister hesitated between her words, you knew she wasn’t very pleased at all to have you here in their engagement party and that silently breaks your heart.
“You’re so beautiful, just like your sister.” K’s mom took your hands into hers and stroked it lovingly, she was sweet and nice. Somewhere deep inside your heart, you somehow thought if she would remain as loving as she is right now if she found out about your condition?
And soon K’s birthday party starts, everyone gathers around him; with your sister at his right side and his family at his left side. A cake with lit up candles was presented to him, in which he thanks everyone saying how much he appreciates it, and as always the smile was always on his face. That fake smile.
You couldn’t be bothered to sing for him, and it doesn’t matter really since everyone was singing a very off-key version of the birthday song making you chuckle in amusement. Observing each person around you, you notice that they were all the same age so you caught on that half of the people in this room were from your sister’s school. You wonder, if they also knew about your condition? And there it was, you saw that sinister chuckle and the same gaze from a few people just a bit farther than you, they were obviously staring at you.
And now you know why your sister doesn’t want you here, she was afraid and embarrassed to be seen with you, a kleptomaniac. And considering how they knew about it, you looked over at K’s parents. K knew about your condition, but his parents didn’t treat you the same. If the sweet old you were presented with this fact, you would’ve actually thought that they were different. But now you know better, in this room, regardless if they knew about it or not, even if they were the slightest kind to you, it still won’t hide the fact that your condition irks them, alot.
You? A rich man’s daughter? A kleptomaniac?
How funny.
That’s what they were thinking right now.
The engagement follows after the birthday party, and you can only watch as the two; your sister and K, happily put the rings into their respective fingers. They were lovebirds, you heard from the people behind you. Happy lovebirds, princes and princesses, flowers and rainbows fell upon them just like in those fairy tale books. But how about you? For your sister, you were like a pest, bound to destroy the family’s reputation just like she said before. And so in fairy tales, you would be called the witch, right? Ugly, embarrassing, the black sheep of the family, you name it all.
But it’s not like you had wished to be born with it right? So why did she keep reminding you that? If she hated you because of your condition, then you hated yourself more. The countless of hate they threw on you along those years, you had collected it all within the depths inside your heart and then it grew just like a mountain. You hated yourself too.
Fine, if she hates you so much because of your condition to the point she won’t believe you back in that day. Then so be it. If they call you the black sheep, an embarrassment and the witch then so be it. You’ll gladly be the witch that will destroy their little fairy tale world..
Everyone was busy; your family, and K’s family were discussing your sister’s and K’s future together. You were left alone, with no one to talk to and for a split moment, you somehow agree that you shouldn’t have been here. Looking around, your sister was nowhere to be found, but then you saw her with K outside in the garden. You observed them both laughing and having their sweet moments, then your lips slowly curve up into a smile,
“What a lovely couple,” you said in a whispering voice, “Too bad, not all fairy tales have happy endings.” letting out a scoff as you get up on your feet, making your way through the crowd and to the stairs. Guiding yourself up to the stairs with your hands stroking the rail, as you stare at the people downstairs having fun in their own world.
You walked through the long hallway with rooms at each side, you put your hands on the doors stroking it softly as your feet silently brought themselves in front of a door.
Sighing exaggeratingly, “Fools.” your hands turns the knob, pushing the door open.
What you did that night was unforgivable, not only to your sister, but to your family. The party was destroyed over what you did, when you barged into K’s parents’ room and stole one of his mother’s precious heirlooms, and wore it in front of everyone.
“Unnie! Look how pretty this is?” you exclaimed with a sweet smile adorning your face, while everyone’s were replaced with a shock expression.
“(Name)! What are you doing!?”
“Isn’t that?”
“Why the fuck are you wearing that!?” K exclaimed angrily as his princely manners were gone by now, making you chuckle in amusement.
“Oh? Shouldn’t I?” You took it off, making K’s parents breathe in relief, “I didn’t know, but really when I look at it now, it looks so damn awful.”
You smashed it into the floor, stomping it with your feet breaking it in front of everyone. And everyone’s face amused you deeply that you laughed.
“Party’s over, everyone!” you clapped your hands, you knew what was bound to come for your sister and you. And you didn’t care even one bit.
You were grounded for a month, your parents were incredibly disappointed in you and your sister had hated you deeply that she doesn’t want to see your face ever again. Your parents had you out of school first, as the rumors had spread over your school. However, it wasn’t only you. Your sister was subjected to harsh treatments in school that your parents had to do the same for her. Gazing out of the window, you look at the blue sky as the sunlight shine on you, feeling the heat and the warmth it gives you, the warmth that you never got from everyone.
Then you heard loud heavy steps approaching, resulting in the door swinging open revealing your sister looking like a mess. A complete mess, her eyes were red due to crying and makeup smeared all over her face, it seems like she just got in a fight. For a split second, you felt guilty but you ignored it, she deserves it along with that guy K.
“Crazy bitch! I fucking hate you!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, approaching you and pulling you up with your collar.
“Because of you, K broke up with me! His family was so upset because of what you did, bitch! Now because of you, they don’t even wanna see me anymore, not even mom and dad!” angry tears flow down her cheeks as she struggles between her words.
“The entire school was fucking bullying me to death all because of you! Why did you do that!? Why!”
You remain silent, not at all surprised by what she said. Only staring at her as her hands grips your collars tightly, the atmosphere growing thick and worse as she was waiting for you to say something.
“Why did you do that? For what!?”
“My engagement!” she weep even louder, her head hanging low, “You ruin everything! You really prove it to me that you are the fucking black sheep- your shitty condition! For one day? Can’t you even control yourself!?”
“What are you crying about?” you looked up to her, “Was it because he broke up with unnie? Was it because unnie got bullied? Or was it because you’re embarrassed that I was your sister?”
“Isn’t it fucking clear? All this time, you’ve done nothing but embarrass us all. Nothing but that!”
Your sister yelled at the top of her lungs, “Are you seriously trying to ruin what’s important for me!?”
“Do you want me to die!?”
Silence ensues, and only the cicadas’ cries and the sound of birds chirping was heard throughout that moment. The warm breeze passed through the both of you, giving the sense of warmth once again but it wasn’t enough to warm your heart that has been hurting all this time.
“Unnie, you know why that happened to you?” you asked, “It’s because you deserve it.” you spat out.
“What!?”
“You fucking deserve it, there I said it.”
“You bitch!”
It all happened so fast, that in a split second, you two were pulling each other’s hair making a huge mess in your room; screaming, fighting, and not backing down, red marks and scratches soon appeared on both of your arms. Not even an ounce of regret you felt inside you, you were beyond pissed and hurt and for once you wanted her to feel that.
After what seems like an eternity, your parents barged in through the door, breaking the fight but your sister was beyond upset that she wanted to punch you more till you bleed or atleast get paralyzed.
“After all this, you only asked why I did it.” your mouths trembled, “But you never asked me how I felt, how hurt I must’ve felt all this time.”
“I guess I'm still a fool, waiting for unnie ..”
And ever since that day, your relationship with your sister was completely broken. The house you were living in was filled with nothing but sorrow and cries from your sister, and while you, grounded in your own room doing nothing but reading the books you got on your shelf. You were both suffering, you knew that. But you know what’s the difference? Your parents were comforting her and not you. Okay, you did the worst thing but have they ever asked you why you did it? Heck, even if you told the truth, in the end, only your sister was the one who got the warmth.. Every time you two see each other, a bunch of curses and spats are thrown. The summer goes on just like that for a long, long time which was eventually replaced with winter.
You never apologized. You won’t and you will never do it.
But one day, when you come across your sister’s room with her door wide open. You couldn’t care any less about her anymore, but when you accidentally took a peek and your fingers pushed the door slightly just enough for you to see inside. The sight in front of you was what eventually drove you to guilt, something that you’ve never expected that your sister was capable of doing.
“She’s safe.” you couldn’t even react, as you sat on the cold floor of the hospital. The doctor had informed your parents that if your sister was found a few minutes late, she could’ve died. Die. You couldn’t stop repeating that word in your mind the moment you saw her unconscious body lying on the floor, blood dripping from her wrist.
It sets an entire new reality in front of you as it dawns on you that she could’ve died because of you and all because of you. Your parents were so mad at you and blamed you over what happened. Every day with her being unconscious laying on the hospital bed, you felt that immense guilt that was slowly eating you inside just like maggots would do a corpse.
— END OF FLASHBACK —
.
.
.
“Are you seriously going to ruin what’s important for me right now? Again!?”
You shook your head, crying endlessly. Was it coming all over again? What’s this? You kept quiet, clenching your fists, hanging your head low, unable to say anything. This. The regrets were coming all over again.
“No..”
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
— to be continued —
ROUTE 1: EP 7 - PT. 2 will be release tomorrow.
TAGLIST: @axartia , @nyfwyeonjun , @lyzzie8 , @heeseungie77
|> YANDERE SERIES: ENHYPEN (PT. 1
|> secondary blog: @llyzblog
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jmrothwell · 5 months
Note
Oooh I got Vampire Slayer AU + Family AU xD
 No lie, I read this and my immediate thought was Buffy?? But let’s see if we can do something a little different. 
Also, this got kinda long so I have put it below the cut:
So instead of the Slayer being a random chosen one from anywhere in the world it’s a bloodline thing. Sort of…like the potential is in the bloodline but not every member gets to be a Slayer, the previous Slayer has to pass the mantle down. 
Rose was the prior slayer, however things had significantly slowed down since her grandmother and great great grandmother had the mantles. Victoria and her parents insisted it was because the Slayers were winning (There a few dozen slayer families around the world) and that Rose should live her life. 
Rose tries, she really does but she can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. She starts working at nightclubs and bars to try and get a casual peak into the nightlife and she does hear some interesting rumors and urban legends but they all turn out to be that, urban legends. 
She meets Ray and they begin dating and eventually he manages to convince her she should focus on living. It doesn’t help that she’s witnessed some deaths that aren’t paranormally related and it sort of cements everything everyone has been telling her. Life is too short, and it will pass her by entirely if she isn’t careful. She and Ray settle down and they have Julie and Carlos and Rose wonders if since the world has gotten safer if she should just let the mantle die with her. 
Cut to (or open here and we learn all of that as back story later, not sure yet) 17 year old Julie is dealing with the recent sudden death of her mother, just like the rest of her family. It’s become this massively speculated rumor mill of an incident. She fell off a building at a height that should have killed her instantly but it didn’t, it was a slow and agonizing night for her and her family. Many speculate she was attempting suicide. Rose insists she was not, insisting she was thrown and that they were all wrong, it’s so much worse than they realized. 
Julie doesn’t know what to believe in the months leading up to her Mother’s death her mother had turned into an entirely different person. Even got into some fights with Victoria and her Dad. 
Mostly Julie just wishes the incident would stop haunting her dreams. Tired and guilty for feeling tired of hearing her mother’s final words repeating over and over. “I’m sorry Julie, I should have prepared you better. You deserve better and I hope you can do what I couldn’t.”
It’s not even been a month since the funeral, Julie hasn’t even has time to process all of her grief when one night she’s home alone and she hears rummaging in the garage. She knows what she should do, the sensible thing, duck her head, get inside, don't mess with the things that go bump in the night. Even if she’s sure it’s just a stray cat or raccoon.  It’s her entire thought process even as her feet move of their own accord. 
Inside she finds three boys and during hers (and theirs panicked screaming) she instinctively grabs one of them and rather sloppily gets him pinned to the ground. It’s Reggie, after the initial panicking dies down and while Julie tries to process what the hell she just did he tries a cheesy line about their positions. 
This immediately knocks Julie back to the fact that she’s found three strange teenage boys in her garage and demands to know who they are and what they’re doing. They introduce themselves as Luke, Reggie, and Alex and say they were looking for Rose. Which just angers Julie thinking of course they have to be trying to prank her because who hasn’t heard about what happened to her mom by this point. 
The guys genuinely didn’t know. They’re kind of cut off from many news sources at the moment. 
It takes a bit of back and forth before Alex straight up just asks if that makes Julie the new Slayer now. Julie is confused and doesn’t know who to be mad or upset with anymore as they finish telling her about how her mom was one of the last remaining Slayers, as many other Slayer families had allowed themselves to die out in the extended time of peace. 
The guys (who refuse to tell Julie how they know everything they are telling her) say it’s all one big plot led by a vampire who gained a lot of power in the late 1920’s. (Again, not sure of this would be revealed up front or discovered through the story)
Julie decides they are pranking her, and tells them to leave her alone. Her dreams only get weirder from here on out. 
The next day at school she tells Flynn all about it. Flynn does some digging on her own during school, while Julie has the world’s weirdest school day (think all the stereotypical I’ve got powers now type scenes only Julie is in major denial) By the end of the school day Flynn is fully convinced Julie is this Slayer figure and Julie just wants to drop out of school and sleep for a year straight. 
Though Julie does get incredibly intrigued by the fact that one of the pieces of evidence Flynn found was a series of missing persons reports throughout the years. Particularly the article about a band from the 90’s named Sunset Curve. 
After school as Julie gets home she can see that all the garage windows have been boarded up and goes to confront the guys. Who all of course panic when she throws the garage doors open. They admit they’re vampires, but don’t know why or how their turning got botched, but they know it did because they do not act like a good 90% of the other vampires they know. 
They managed to evade Caleb and had been getting updates from their friend Willie who went missing. Worried and more than a little desperate they turned to Rose for help. Which just immediately sours their relationship with Julie more because now she has someone to blame for her mother’s death. 
The guys help defend Julie as she now has a giant target on her back as an untrained Slayer. Still a dangerous threat but one Caleb thinks he can take out. Flynn thinks Julie should talk to her dad or Aunt about it but Julie doesn’t want to cause her Dad more grief and is kind of mad at both of them for keeping something like this from her. 
Flynn, Julie and the guys, slowly learn the whole Slayer thing together. Albeit begrudgingly on Julie’s part especially as far as the guys are concerned but there is no denying they make a good team and seems to be their way of trying to make amends. 
Eventually Julie does confront her family about things. Mostly because, thanks to Carlos, the rest of her family discover her Slayer thing and try to get upset with her first about not telling them. Which of course leads to a huge fight about them keeping it from her in the first place. 
Victoria and Ray absolutely do not like the fact Julie has teamed up with a trio of vampires. But Ray quickly changes his mind when the three start helping out around the house. Victoria also trains Julie what she remembers from her training with Rose when they were younger, she may not have been the one chosen for the mantle but that didn’t mean she didn’t need the training. 
It all builds up to a showdown with Caleb, who initially tries to just do the vampiric seduce Julie to be a vampire thing. But then he makes the mistake of letting it slip that he was the one who killed Rose and Julie sees red. Just before she manages to kill him Caleb drops the “you kill me then your friends are going to die too” which does cause Julie to hesitate for a bit but she does what she knows must be done for ‘the greater good’ and kills Caleb.
In the aftermath of that, and the vampires Caleb sired dying as well, the world a whole have to recover from the sheer number of people who’d actually been vampires hiding in plain sight. 
Fortunately for Julie and the guys(including Willie) Caleb wasn’t the one who turned them. Unfortunately that does leave them all to contemplate what it is they should do. In the meantime, they all just let themselves enjoy life for a bit.
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silkendandelion · 10 months
Text
Mirage In The Desert - Chapter 1
A One Piece fanfiction, Table Of Contents
Sir Crocodile x OC (male)
Words: 70.4k
Genre: Drama, angst, smut, fluff
Summary: Keep your friends close and enemies closer. But how close do you keep a liability? In the time leading up to Operation Utopia, Crocodile employs an Alabastan local in Baroque Works.
Rated Explicit for sexual content (Chapters 1, 2, 6), moments of graphic violence and death, mentions of suicidal thoughts (8) and toxic relationship dynamics. Rating changes published per chapter.
Cross-posted to ao3, same username, here. Thank you for reading, and as always, please enjoy.
~*~
“Sir, dinner is ready. Shall I prepare the dining hall?” Crocodile looked up from his paperwork to see the servant in his doorway. He blew smoke between them, already calculating how much work he had left, and the unusually calm air of the evening.
“…It’s quiet.”
“Yes, Sir, it is.” Crocodile raised an eyebrow, and the servant scrambled to catch up to the conversation.
“Pardon me—no one has seen Mr. Faustina since breakfast. Perhaps he has gone to Oasis?”
“Doubtful, King tide is tomorrow. Serve dinner in my study. Chill the wine.”
“Yes, Sir,” They said as Crocodile arranged his papers and went for his coat.
Raindinners might have been the face of nightlife in Rainbase, but on a quiet weekday night the secluded waterways behind the property felt akin to a private island. Winding paths of water gave enrichment to the Bananawani, and a few were just narrow enough they were relatively safe for swimming. Stone overhangs and imported trees kept it shaded from the relentless sun and automatic lights were triggered by sunset to illuminate crystalline mosaic floors.
It only barely reminded him of his home island, but the saltwater swims were the most comfort River had found since coming to the city almost a year prior.
Crocodile approached the shore to see him hoist himself out of the water with toned arms, waves stuck to his dripping skin as he let the water run off him in sheets. Droplets ran down the muscles of his abdomen, clinging to his jewelry and holding his swimsuit flush to his hips. The warlord wanted to mention how much his hair has grown in only nine months but feared to break the facade they built for when others could see them; a false image River shattered whenever he did things like removing his bottoms in broad daylight while any one of the staff could come outside and see Crocodile there too, incriminating, trying to look nonchalant like a pervert would.
“I scrubbed the Bananawani. Could really use a bath,” River said as he pulled fresh bottoms up his legs. He redressed while Crocodile lit a fresh cigar, failing to look nonchalant.
“Dinner first. You’ve been out here all day, and I doubt you’ve nibbled off the Bananawani’s plates.”
“It’s funny, Coco keeps trying to share with me. I’m not sure how long I can keep pretending to accept until I hurt his feelings.”
“Just don’t be in the water when he figures it out.”
River’s laugh alerted the servants to their return, and most took great care to not be noticed watching the pair as they walked together. There were already plenty of rumors about the handsome man from Alabasta’s territory island of Oasis who came to Raindinners nine months ago. They speculated his involvement in Crocodile’s business, how it related to Oasis’ position in the tumultuous political climate, but they all knew for sure the two were involved. Crocodile’s rules of touch were absolute, yet curious eyes could sometimes catch him pushing a curl behind the other man’s ear, rest a hand on his back, or nudge his chin for a kiss—what the servants assumed would be a kiss were the pair not so quick to catch wandering eyes.
But no one scolded them this time, and anyone who walked by could see the pair waiting for the elevator, arm in arm.
In Crocodile’s suite, his guest immediately spotted the papers in piles on his desk. “I’m not the only one who spent the entire day working.”
He gave a noncommittal grunt as he popped open the wine. “Your fascination with the Bananawani can hardly be called a job when I don’t pay you. And if I was your boss, we’d have to talk about the amount of time you spend sunbathing on the clock.”
“You are my boss.”
“You’re not on the clock.”
He cleared his throat when he saw River lean over his desk, mindful to keep his wet hair away from the documents that were sorted into categories but otherwise on display.
“What? Is it a secret? I saw Mr. 2’s name, I have some right to snoop when it involves my partner. Are we being deployed soon?”
“You’ll get your briefing when they do. We’re having dinner.”
River sauntered back to the table to see him trying to look unbothered, spinning a ring on his finger and wearing what he might have called a pout if his patience wasn’t already thin. Dinner was an important ritual for them, especially when they had neither seen nor heard from each other all day long. And Crocodile didn’t care to wait at all, let alone while he watched his insouciant lover meander around his apartment like he didn’t visit every day.
“...Crocodile.”
“Hm.”
River went passed his empty chair to get into the warlord’s space, placing a knee on the chair between his legs and reaching out to begin folding back the sleeves on his dress shirt. First his good hand, then his left, and Crocodile flinched when the cold metal of his hook brushed River’s thigh like he was the one spooked by it’s chill. When River finally began undoing the cravat at his neck, he spoke.
“What are you doing?” He said quietly, a fond rumble in his chest at the way his lover dressed him down. Were they a normal couple in a less complicated life, Crocodile could easily imagine those hands taking off his shoes after work, offering a variety of comfort after hours away.
His cigar rested in the ash tray while the Oasin leaned over him with intent, eyes lidded and the soft sweeps of his neck and chest close enough to see his heartbeat. Crocodile felt his pants tighten, it would only take one hand to pull River onto his lap and hold him still while he tasted the hollows of his collarbones, he knew from experience they tasted like almonds—
“Dinner is supposed to be a relaxing activity. You look a bit high strung.” A single, playful finger gave his belt a tug.
River’s ribbing was cold water on his lust, and he pinched his smirking cheek as he finally stepped away. He finished dressing down in his room, meanwhile his lover waited patiently for the click of him removing his hook, the muted sound of it placed on it’s cabinet.
Distracted by the wine, he didn’t hear him come back, making a startled hiccup when cool lips stole a kiss from the side of his neck, jeweled hand holding his jaw.
“Eat your food,” Crocodile said in his ear, a quiet thunder that commanded obedience and sent a shiver down River’s spine. His eyes followed the hand that released his neck, and he watched Crocodile lower himself into his seat, fatigued by an invisible burden.
He looks exhausted. River thought as he sipped, finally finding his fork and pushing down questions he knew would go unanswered.
They ate in a comfortable silence despite the way River inhaled all three courses before Crocodile even finished his palette cleanser between one and two. At the risk of their manners, he poured him another glass of wine.
“I saw Goillard’s poems in your bag. Have you finished it?”
River swallowed and nearly sloshed his cup in his burst of excitement. “I finished it this morning, I couldn’t put it down. Coco got frustrated because I read too long and his brushing came late.”
“He’s needy because you spoil him.”
They talked until the sun was long gone, lounging on the parlor sofa until they ran out of wine and wandered back to the study for dessert. Dessert became, “Let me take care of you tonight”, and Crocodile pulled away from cardamom-flavored kisses to remember he was supposed to have gone back to his papers after dinner.
“Am I that bad a kisser you remembered now? Maybe I should skip a few steps.” River went to slip off his lap and onto the floor between his knees when he felt him grab his arm.
“You’re distracting. Take off your clothes.”
“I don’t think that will make me less distracting.”
Crocodile allowed the shorter man to pull at his clothes but he only got him half dressed, distracted by his lover’s broad chest. A bold tongue lapped at his nipples, leaving Crocodile painfully hard in his slacks by the time he pulled his mischief maker away by a firm hand in the roots of his hair.
“Sensitive.” River licked his lips, a satisfied grin almost muting the huff of pleasure he made when Crocodile jostled the hand that restrained him. He thought about scolding him but couldn’t find the ire, pleasantly warm and treated to the sight of River as wound up as he was, tenting his robes and squirming to be set free.
“Don’t make me wait, Crocodile, I haven’t seen you all day,” River pleaded quietly, pressing their bare chests together where they were still half dressed and growing disheveled. The warlord obliged at a cost, releasing him only when their lips met. Crocodile’s slow, thorough tasting of his tongue kept him distracted, tame enough to carry, and he tossed him onto the unmade sheets from that morning.
“I’m sorry I never made it to the bath.” River moaned when he felt teeth and a tongue sucking a mark into his neck, crowded into the pillows by his larger lover.
In rumpled sheets and docile violet eyes, Crocodile found himself helpless to a heady cloud of bergamot, starfruit, and salt. He kissed him until their tastes melded, breathing deep and holding him in his lungs until his chest ached. His wide palm swept over damp skin in greedy pulls, pressing them together until lavender marks bloomed in pairs. Teeth followed his tongue down River’s neck and into the collarbones that distracted him, leaving soothing licks to reward the whimpers that followed his teeth marks, and the whispering of their clothes finally slipping to the floor.
River never complained about any of the love bites, hopelessly soft for the way Crocodile never marked him hard enough to last more than a day, just enough he could feel his blood rise to the surface and throb against his teeth with the heartbeat in his throat and in his dick. But he was as vocal in his pleasure as he was in everything else, making demands of the warlord in that impudent, saccharine voice and being so eager to please in return.
“I want you to suck me off. Please, Crocodile, won’t you?” He squirmed and Crocodile wondered if the Oasin would even last for it, nerves already tingling, dick leaking and smearing all over his belly from his restless wiggling.
“How could I refuse such a sweet request?” He inched his thumb into River’s panting mouth just to hear his mewl, circling his tongue and already planning to ask for the favor returned.
The heat over River’s body retreated first before it came back as a tongue sliding up the underside of his cock. He gasped to the ceiling, head pressing back into the nest of pillows while the tongue meandered across his skin. He reflexively grabbed at the pillow with one hand, the other combing Crocodile’s hair out of its style while his thighs shook around his ears. The perturbed crinkle in his brow attempts to deter River’s petting but he can’t manage to look terrifying with his mouth full, and his own cock is starting to ache at the sounds they make together.
Sweet whimpering, the wet slip of Crocodile’s rhythm, and his own moans that rumble in his chest, keeping River restless under such thorough attention to every inch of him. Crocodile enjoyed his over-stimulation far too much to hold him down, more than confident in his ability to handle one man’s wiggling while he pleasured him. Neither of them ever lasted long for oral anyway, always too occupied with the pretty picture the other made, of either the islander with a sun-kissed face that only ever ended up wet and messy between his thighs, or the warlord that was never satisfied until he had every drop his lover could give.
“You always feel so good, Crocodile. Please, I—I’m gonna cum—don’t—please, I’m—Ah!” River gasped and yelped to the ceiling, the arch in his back supported by Crocodile’s palm when he came down his throat, sure that he was holding his lover’s hair too tight but unable to let go. Crocodile merely hummed and let him come down slowly, cleaning him in the silence with his tongue.
The impossibly soft swipes of his palm over River’s belly and chest were calming, soothing, hardly indicative he was already planning his rebuttal. His lower back was beginning to complain, and his left shoulder certainly wished he would right himself, but his cock still hung heavy, a deep, throbbing red from watching him come apart, and he would sooner jump in the lake than let the beauty against his pillows leave without being thoroughly enjoyed.
“We can stop here if you want. You look tired,” He rumbled, hoarse and teasing as he pressed a nip of a kiss to his hip. It might kill him, his dick would certainly perish, but he would jump in the lake or worse if only his beauty wished it.
“I’m just catching my breath, I don’t want to stop,” River said and bodily beckoned him to come closer.
“Not until you fuck me—,” Crocodile swallowed his plea by pressing their mouths flush, licking remnants of cum between them and holding him close enough to feel the aborted sounds in his own chest.
“Lay down, I can do it,” River said, eyes flittering between Crocodile’s eyes and lips.
The whispering of Crocodile’s hand removing his rings is his answer, and that strong grip returns as a fingertips depressing the meat of his thigh, pricking barely before they’re warm again.
“I will give you everything you desire... But you’ve been awfully bossy tonight. I think I’ll just enjoy you at my own pace.” Nips and kisses to River’s shoulders turn his complaints into pleasured murmurs.
“No, no, I wanted to treat you.”
Crocodile just hummed, pleased as he continued his distracted kissing. “You need only to exist and it is a treat.”
River sighed, eyelids fluttering at the sweet words spoken against his cheek. “I suppose it can’t be helped. A man with your pride would surely ignore his own aches and keep his lover distracted with poetry. I, the dutiful lover, will relent and eventually find myself hoisted onto strong thighs, our position flipped when the proud man believes I have forgotten… and I will take everything he has to give.”
He gasped when Crocodile’s hand gripped his thigh hard enough to mark and pushed his knee back to his chest.
“You’re especially mouthy tonight.”
“And you’re stubborn as always.”
A simple look commanded he grab his other knee to spread himself in offering to dark eyes. A little logistics, a little inventory, and Crocodile managed to find the new bottle of lubricant as River dutifully held back his own legs, fingers flexing in anticipation.
“I’m shaking—maybe I should roll over.” River smiled awkwardly, chewing on his lip and staring at the man between his feet.
“Do as you please for now. But I want to see your face when I’m inside you.” Crocodile watched him roll onto his stomach, smoothing his palm up his spine, careful only to touch him with clean fingers.
“Breathe in… breathe out.”
The breach of his entire middle finger was a welcome surprise if the arch of River’s spine and pleased hiccup was any indication. Too pent up to go slow but still worried for his comfort, Crocodile busied himself with crooking the tip of his finger from every angle except the one he needed, massaging him and working him open in the most cruel way. In and out, he only allowed him the faintest tease of attention to his prostate, content to bully him with self-indulgent prodding.
Beneath him, River was losing himself, panting in only minutes from just a single thick finger, hands kneading the comforter and eyes unfocused as he tried to wet his lips.
“Please, Croc, it’s so—please, anything,” He mumbled.
“Anything?” Crocodile hummed deep in his chest, unable to stop himself from leaning down and kissing the sensitive spot on his oblique.
“More of this? Shh, shh, I’m sorry. Breathe in… breathe out.” He added his ring finger, simultaneously biting the oblique under his lips to drive his keen higher.
The extra stretch had them both forgetting the pace they originally set, and a few more minutes had River on his elbows, swinging his hips back to meet Crocodile’s knuckles on every stroke. He knelt enraptured as he watched him lose his usual composure, moans hiccuping from his kiss swollen lips with every impact, eyes glassy and focused only on chasing the sparks that zipped up his spine with every brush of his prostate.
Crocodile’s dick ached, throbbing all the way to his own hole to be inside the man who struggled not to howl into his own fist. He couldn’t help but begin sucking kisses into the flushed muscles of his back, arms tensing around him as he panted into his damp shoulder blade.
“Easy, River—” I’m going to cum too soon.
“—Mm, mm, I don’t want easy, I want you. You’ve gotten quite comfortable back there.”
The yelp River gave when he pulled out his fingers, maybe too fast, sorry baby, and flipped him onto his back satisfied the part of him that was still bothered by River’s lack of fear. From the first day he came to Rainbase, the Oasin never hid he was a sarcastic, indulgent layabout that couldn’t have a single serving of wine without sleeping wherever he fell. He obeyed orders barely when he obeyed at all, telling Mr. 0 off and hanging up the snail phone to the horror of onlookers. Even at Raindinners, River’s socialite hobby was supposed to annoy him, the gambling, drinking (after his tolerance adjusted), the way he convinced the bartenders to put everything on the house tab.
But the way he lights up when Crocodile comes through the front door, abandoning his chips and dashing over has him stuck. Onlookers have gossiped for months, they know to keep their distance while River goes to his side to welcome him home.
It’s the closest Crocodile has ever come to something that resembled domesticity. He can’t give it up, and it terrifies him how much leash one man has made for himself, inch by decadent inch.
A hand toying with his dick yanks him back to the present, and he sees River waiting not-so-patiently against the pillows.
“Lost you for a minute,” He said while taking back his mischievous fingers.
“I have a lot on my mind.”
“It’s not too late to let me ride you.”
Crocodile yanked him further down the bed until they were lined up finally. River managed to secure a single pillow, knees spread wide and staring up at the predator above him with a surrender to be eaten. They butted heads most days and argued most nights but River would do anything for him, and he knew he was cherished in return. He reached out to hold Crocodile by his larger, corded shoulders, hands skittering across his strong, firm chest, and they slipped together with a harmonious sigh.
Crocodile sat up to adjust the angle, removing those wandering hands to press him flat. “Stay still, you’re awfully—oh—tight.”
He grabbed the foot tickling his rib and squeezed. “I mean it.”
Uncharacteristically, River relented, kneading the duvet he could reach, eyes shut and trying to control his breathing. But as hard as he tried to be obedient, he couldn’t stop his insides from rippling, searching for friction from the dick keeping him open.
Crocodile could only bear it for what was probably seconds, pulling back his hips until only the ruddy tip was inside before pitching forward and startling a moan out of them both. Sitting up was easier on his back and he began a faster pace than they were used to, chasing his pleasure while River moaned his praise, bound to be spoiled by Crocodile’s relentless rhythm. The latter lifted his chin to close his eyes, already anticipating watching his noisy bottom would end him too soon.
A pinch to his nipple had him fixing River with an embarrassed scowl—and that was a mistake. He watched him lick his thumb, resuming his fixation on Crocodile’s right nipple while he struggled to keep up, glassy eyes letting tears fall into his hair, and kiss-bitten mouth hanging open while he mewled his pleasure.
“Are you trying to finish this early?” Crocodile exhaled hot, hips beginning to falter in their rhythm as he moaned through gritted teeth.
“I’m not, ha... I can’t hold on, I’m trying, shit, I’m trying.”
He watched River’s jaw stutter, and his almost-purple cock was so hard and wet he leaked over his hip and onto the sheets with every throb. His whimper rose into a frustrated yell when Crocodile went to the root and stayed still, pressing them together and resting on his elbows beside River’s shoulders. Iron-hot hips slowed to a simmer as he drove them higher at half the speed, barely leaving the slippery heat before pressing even deeper.
But the danger in Crocodile’s new plan of slow and steady was that now he was in range of that mouth.
He couldn’t think with the molten tongue on his neck, and a kiss only offered a silver of reprieve. But with his brain already threatening to melt from his ears from the scalding pressure around his cock, he needed all the mercy he could get in the relentless wash that River was to his senses.
“You—oh, fuck,” He panted against the younger man’s mouth. He couldn’t finish his thought, head too foggy and hot, wanting explicitly to say ‘You’re mine’ and unable to catch his breath. Somewhere under the heat, he wondered if the words left unsaid were a blessing, unable to be proven wrong by refusing to exist. Later, when he wasn’t already rung out by a man who hadn’t left his pillows once, he’d try again to think.
“So good, feels so good, my Crocodile,” River moaned so clearly he couldn’t pretend he didn’t hear him. He declared it with a possessive swirl of his hips, pressing his legs against the arms that held him wide, and as confident as every word that came from his mouth. The suddenness of Crocodile’s release slammed into him white-hot, leaving his world soundless and too-bright long enough he wondered if he had fallen unconscious.
He forced himself back to the world of the living, if only to confirm he hadn’t crushed River under his dead weight. Beside him, the man was almost asleep, spread akimbo like the bed was his own with a shiny splatter of cum on his own chest and neck. (Crocodile made a mental note to berate himself later with the embarrassment of how that situation could have gone, perhaps with River unsatisfied and smushed beneath an out-of-practice, unbelievably rude man).
River tore him from his self-depreciation with a hand on his face, moving his hair from his eyes like his own bangs weren’t sticking to his cheeks in damp curls. He held a hot towel (When did he prepare that?) and gently coaxed them both clean. Crocodile tried to look disapproving that River cleaned him first but was distracted watching him drag a clean corner up his flushed chest, passed the beauty mark on his sternum. He touched his chin finally, and the realization he made him come hard enough to get his own face had his dick give a single, exhausted throb.
He interrupted the housekeeping to offer his chest for River’s lounging pleasure, taking the rag and tossing it to somewhere with a wet slap. Damp curls pressed under his chin as they settled together, the scent of shampoo and salt tempting him to close his eyes.
He tried to remember if he’d left any lamps on, but knew his muscles wouldn’t move unless he smelled smoke.
“Crocodile.”
“Hm.” He’s sure he turned off the one in the study but the one in the hall was unaccountable—
“Are you sure you want me to stay?”
Crocodile’s eyes flicked open to the ceiling. “Who said you’re staying?”
“You did when you brought me in for a cuddle and looked like you were halfway to sleep just now.”
“There’s your answer. Go to sleep, River.” His warlord voice had no bite in the afterglow, warm and sounding more like an annoyed lover who was yanked from their almost-sleep.
No, he definitely turned off the lamp in the hall.
River’s nails drew soft shapes on his chest in the silence. “… I’m going to the bookstore tomorrow. Do you want me to bring you something?”
His answer was a quiet shift in the warlord’s breathing that meant he would receive no answer until morning.
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pikmingrubb · 11 months
Text
Star Gazing
Mike Ehrmantraut x Reader
Tags: sfw, cuddling, star gazing, thoughts of suicide and depression,
Word count: 1,993
The impulse for jumping in front of a moving car felt like the temptation of eating chocolate late at night, something you craved deeply, but perhaps you should just sleep. Allow yourself to dream and forget about the chocolate, forget about the feeling that seeded itself inside that wanted to extinguish your very existence.
It was one of those nights again, the lonesome table that you sat at felt as if it had trapped you in a spiraling thought process you couldn’t break from. Everything felt heavy, mournful…Regrets about things that had yet to even occur spun.
Fuck…
Your eyes blinked from your stupor, how long had you just been staring at the wall, this wasn’t helping. Those racing thoughts broke through again, would be nice just to end it all, a knife to the throat, gurgle out silently. It would just take a second. These thoughts used to scare you, but now they just felt dull and annoying, like a little bird that kept squawking at you no matter what you did.
You let out a little sigh, looking at the clock in your kitchen, fuck… 2am…
Picking up your phone you scrolled through your contacts, no reasonable person would ever be awake now. You stopped at one, Mike, weighing the pros and cons of possibly waking him up all for your stupid bull shit. One text, you prayed.
Hey, you up?
You sent it and closed your phone, a solemn feeling entering you. Nothing was expected to come from your one prayer, but maybe.
Beep.
Never had you opened your phone up so quickly, the light of your phone burning your eyes as you quickly read the response.
Yes. Can’t sleep again?
No, you either? Care for company?
I’ll pick you up.
Relief filled your body, hands folding on the table as you allowed yourself a moment of peace. You wouldn’t be alone.
The car door was your only notice that he was here, you didn’t even bother checking before you exited the house. His dark silhouette stood by his vehicle, it hummed slightly, he just watched as you approached his passenger door.
You both got in wordlessly, your hands instinctively buckling yourself in, Mike gave you a little nod of approval before he started pulling away into the serene night.
The windows were down allowing you to reach your hand out and feel the wind through your spread fingers, pretending to be a bird soaring high above. The wind caught under your wings as you expertly glided through the flow of air, it felt calming.
The high beams gleamed off the signs and metal passing by, and streetlights above gave small fragments of light disappearing as soon as they came. Nightlife felt so different than the day, you absolutely loved it, the sound of bugs chittering calmly, most slept while a few people did as you two were doing right now.
“Where are we going?” Your voice broke the silence, you tried bringing yourself to the present, licking your wounds and allowing your mind to heal from stupid thoughts.
“You’ll see.” Was all he had to give, he gave you a comforting glance before refocusing on the trip before him. The two of you seemed to drive for almost thirty minutes, you just sat back and reclined the seat, closing your eyes and letting the rumble of the road lull you into a peaceful doze.
Mike relaxed a little seeing you start to doze off, he was glad you texted. He couldn’t care less about when he was late at night, but you had been worrying him lately. He knew something was up, but wanted you to approach him first, it wasn’t the first late-night outing he had experienced with you.
The sudden humming of the vehicle turning off alerted your brain that you had reached your destination, your body slowly climbing up from the soft seat.
“Mmmm, w’here?” You mumbled looking around, there was nothing…
You blinked slowly observing, the darkness didn’t allow for much to be seen, the sandy dirt and shrubs stretched for miles, and you were far away from any civilization.
Confusion split your tired mind as you turned to give Mike a questioning look, “Is this like some horror movie shit? Like, are you gonna sacrifice me now?” your glaring squint made him raise his brows at such an accusation.
“Tsk, yeah, now get out so I can nail you to a cross.” He rolled his eyes opening his door and popping the trunk button. You followed him out with a small smile and stretched your cramped limbs, letting out a small yawn.
Mike’s dark jacket could be seen digging around inside the car’s trunk, curiosity led you to peer into the back, trying to see over him inside the dark hole.
He quickly rose back up with a large bag in hand, it almost looked like a gun case…You gave Mike a worried look, “Here, carry this.” he just handed you the large tote and closed his trunk softly, the bag was a lot heavier than a gun. He shouldered a smaller bag, this one looked more familiar, maybe his lunch box?
Mike started to walk out into the desert, you trailed along trying to carry the awkwardly long bag with you, slightly tripping over some roots and stumbling after him. He gave you a quick glance to see you were still upright, “Come on, pokey little puppy.” He commented with a smirk.
A frown just laced your lips, he would never let you live that joke down, would he? He was right though, you practically tripped on nothing and got distracted by a bug on the ground, before realizing that the person you were walking with was now ten meters away.
Mike stopped in a particularly shrub-free area, he glanced around as if to inspect the dirt and decided it met whatever strange criteria he wanted.
“Here’s a good spot.” He said looking back at you standing awkwardly, awaiting his command and still grasping the large tote.
“Go ahead and put it down. Genty,” he said letting the bag around his shoulders hit the ground softly before approaching you.
You placed the bag down and kneeled on the ground, your fingers already unzipping it, Mike just watched from above you. Slowly metal gleaming rods and a cylinder was revealed, your brain slowly locking into place what exactly you were looking at. A gasp left your lips, looking up at Mike excitedly, a giant grin across your face.
“Oh my god, is this a fucking Celestron?” Your hands practically shook as you pulled out an extremely costly telescope, it had large optics, it was massive… Way more impressive than a gun, you carefully set it down and brought out the standing tripod to set it up, Mike just watched as you unpacked his gear like a giddy child.
After completely setting it up and fiddling with the lenses and eyepieces, you finally positioned it and stopped adjusting the mount, “Shit, this thing will be able to see everything!” You exclaimed already taking a peek into the lens.
You stopped dead in your tracks, the light that gleamed and shone before you were awe-inspiring. You were currently looking at the billowing dust particles and clouds of the Milkyway galaxy, past and distant stars shone and glimmered clearer than anything you’d seen before. You felt the hairs on your arms raise, and a small shiver ran down your spine.
You just sat and silently observed, swiveling the mount to look at different things before you, it didn’t matter what. Everything you saw was beautiful and vibrant. You pulled back and looked at Mike with a very star-struck look, you felt choked up, your voice failing you.
“Its…Uh, it's strange to think that we’re currently looking at long-dead stars.” You chuckled, resting your hands on your thighs, “Weird, huh?” You smiled watching his expression rest on an amused and happy look, he was enjoying your reaction.
“Think you can spot Saturn?” He asked looking up and into the night sky, you hummed slightly and began orienting yourself, looking for a familiar constellation.
“Capricornus…” You mumbled to yourself, you could see Saturn with just your eyes, but with the telescope, it would be brilliant and beautiful.
You checked the visuals a few times, homing in on the planet before you finally were able to clearly see it. You looked at it for a few seconds, a strange feeling rose in you.
“It looks… Lonely and sad.” You grimaced pulling back, “Also, can I not see its ring fully?” You questioned Mike, he shook his head a little gazing upward.
“It depends, our movement in the system means we’re getting a head-on angle of the ring, it’ll come back around in a few years. What you’re probably seeing now is mostly shadow casting on the planet.” He explained, you listened carefully and made a little “ah” sound peaking back into the scope.
“Poor Saturn, not a good look on you, still a beautiful planet though…” You smiled and sighed.
The two of you spent another hour looking for stars and constellations, naming out as many as you could spot. Mike apparently knew a great deal of lore and stories behind them, you enjoyed him regaling hunters who became trapped in the stars and wicked creatures forever entwined inside the patterns above you.
Stories that humans told hundreds of years ago, and stars that changed little above you, it was serene knowing that billions of humans adored the very same burning little lights. A beauty upon the world that all shared.
Mike and you were currently lying down on a thick blanket on the ground, he had brought out warm coffee and sandwiches for you to share. The two of you just watched the stars above, they slowly moved and seeped into the sky as the Earth turned gently.
At some point you had cuddled closer to Mike, the night desert had gotten cold and started to suck the warmth from you. He just wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you rested your head in his armpit. His jacket crinkled against your face as you snuggled as close as possible while continuing to gaze at the stars above.
“Thank you for bringing me out here, this was fun.” You said with tiredness seeping in, Mike was silent for a moment, just basking in your presence before feeling his hand squeeze your shoulder in a comforting way.
“Of course, and if you ever wanna do midnight activities, I’m always gonna be there. Just make sure you got some coffee already brewed next time.” He joked smiling into the night sky, you chuckled slightly and readjusted yourself, so you were sitting up.
You gently took his hand and tugged it, “Come on, I wanna go home, I’m tired.” You whined at him, he just sighed in agreement and got up with you, complaining that you were making his old man bones hurt.
“Mmm, can I crash at your place? It’s closer and I’m already so sleepy.” You said buckling up in the car, Mike raised his eyebrow at you but didn’t say no.
“Plus, your bed is wayyy comfier,” You smiled practically falling asleep in the passenger side before he could even start pulling away.
“Yeesh,” Mike said trying not to fall even harder for you as you dozed off in his car, his chest felt warm, and relaxed. He too, just wanted to lie next to you and go to bed, not a worry in his mind.
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