#sucks you have to make an appointment for the second dose

[blackroseguzzi]

Girl Next Door Part 6!

HEYYOO IM BACK BITCHES!

Summery: You explain to Kai what you’ve done. He can't understand, and he doesn't really want to.

Warnings: talk of abortion, pregnancy, swearing, and Kai’s beginning stage of inner rage. 

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! 

You knew the choices you made had serious consciences, these choices were not made lightly. 

You had moved through a week since you had come clean about your pregnancy. You and Kai were sent into a discussion over what needed to be done. You had never seen Kai so incredibly persistent on what he wanted. He saw a future with you, and he wanted to keep his seed planted and watch it grow. You were completely blind sided by his reaction to be honest. You were fearful he was going to pull away, upset at the thought of fathering a child so young. You didn’t realize that he would grab your face and tell you that there was only one street to follow. 

You felt bile creep in your throat, and as much as you wanted to let it out, you swallowed it down in distaste, just like you’d taken in Kai’s extreme moral compass, practically begging you not to have an abortion.

But your mind was already made up the second you saw that test turn up positive. You were not ready for a child to come out of you, or to be welcomed into your arms and suck the life out of you. Not now, and maybe not ever.

You knew that Kai would ultimately understand, he was Kai. He was your best friend and you knew he had your best interest in mind. You had went home that night and made an appointment at planned parenthood for an abortion without Kai’s knowledge. He told you he would give you a week to think about things- but that didn't stop him from constantly texting you asking you how you were feeling or if he could do anything to make things easier for you. God, he was everything a girl dreamed of and you wished your heart didn't want both Kai Anderson and his idealistic family and a college education, experience, and career all for yourself.

You laid in the recovery room, a heating pad on your abdomen to help with the constant cramping you were feeling. The clinic told you that you were not allowed to drive yourself home, and you knew that meant you had to give Kai a call to come get you. You flipped open your phone and pressed his number, you winced as you shifted in the strange shaped chair. You saw another girl across from you, quietly sobbing into her sweatshirt. You wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Hey,” Kai’s voice answered the phone on the first ring. You could already tell by his tone that he was an anxious mess. 

“Kai, I need you to pick me up. I’m at planned parenthood on upper east,” You whispered, not wanting to draw attention to yourself.

“Oh, yeah yeah of course.” His voice was soft and it calmed you for a moment. “Is everything okay?”

You closed your eyes and let out a slow breath as another painful cramp surged through you. You were so ready to get home and lay in bed, and you were hopeful that maybe Kai would stay with you and rub your back and tell you that you made the right choice. 

“Yeah, I’ll explain when you get here.” You spoke quickly, watching the nurse walking towards you as you hung up the cell phone before Kai could get in another word. She gave you another dose of Advil with water, and you hadn’t realized how dry your mouth had been until you sucked every last drop of the water from the cheap paper cup.

“You’re free to leave when your ride gets here, and don’t be afraid to call if you have extensive bleeding, or don’t feel better in a couple of days.” She gave you a weak smile as she pulled the warm compress from your body. You face scrunched under the knowledge that they were in fact kicking you out of the room in order to make more space. 

You slowly lifted yourself from the chair and your head felt like it was reaching the clouds. No wonder they don’t let anyone drive after a procedure. You walked slowly into the waiting room, taking a seat as you looked around the parking lot for any sign of Kai. 

The eyes that were landing on you every so often was starting to make you uncomfortable. One younger teen looked like she was about to give birth right there in the chair. She looked uncomfortable- no no miserable. She didn’t have that pregnancy glow and your quick glance revealed swollen ankles and lots of hormonal acne. You felt relief flood into your veins as you saw Kai’s car swing into the parking lot with eagerness. It pulled up right out front and you hugged your jacket as you shuffled out of the building.

Kai’s eyes were wide, watching you make your way into the vehicle. You felt the pad in your underwear shift uncomfortably as you took a seat in his warm car. You hadn’t worn one of these since middle school, and you were so glad someone had created the tampon.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” You smiled softly at your best friend. He returned the smirk and nodded slowly.  

“Let’s go to that drive through burger place that you love so much,” You leaned over and rubbed your thumb up and down his veiny hand. He took a deep breath, staring into your eyes with worry. 

“Um, Sonic?” 

“Yeah that’s the place, I’m really craving the lemonade they have there.” You rested your head against the back seat. You realized your use of the word craving was probably not the best idea since you could already tell Kai’s demeanor was perking up and he smiled widely as he focused on the road and pulled out of the clinic parking lot.

“My baby wants a lemonade, my baby gets a lemonade.” 

Your heart skipped, wondering what baby he was talking about- because he now only had one. You knew you’d break the news to him, but you wanted to be parked anywhere but the clinic.  

You made your way to Sonic, ordering and sitting in the parking lot awaiting your food to be brought to you. Kai bites his thumbnail, not knowing what to say or do. He was waiting for you to break the silence, you knew that much.

You felt the cramping subside, the Advil clearly working its magic yet again. Kai turn the radio down and his eyes burned into you. You were about to open your mouth when his voice cut through the air.

“You can’t do this to me. You can’t abort this baby, y/n. It’s part of me, and even better - its a part of you. It’s like fate or some shit. Please, I’m begging you. I can’t take any more people being taken away from me.” Kai’s voice broke as he finished. You watched a tear roll down his face and land in his lap. He was fucking crying.

“Kai… I,” You felt your heart speed up, suddenly fearing what you had done was going to rip your relationship completely apart. There was no part of Kai that would be nodding his head and cradling you in understanding. 

“Y/n, Let’s run. Go to Vegas and get married. We’ll start up that software company we always talk about- and you can do your comics on the side. Fuck, you could do it full time. I’ll take care of you I promise.” You were stunned at the word vomit coming from Kai’s mouth. You wished that this had happened 7 years from now when you were not about to graduate high school and you and Kai lived together and had steady jobs. You dreamed of a life with Kai, but not when you were young and dumb. 

“I’m going to be sick,” You managed to squeak out, you clutched your stomach and hunched forward. Panic corsed through your veins.

“What’s the matter? It is morning sickness from the baby?” Kai leaned forward to put his hand on you and gently rubbing circles on your back.

“NO KAI,” You felt hot tears burning too be released. “Its not from the baby because there is no more baby.” You closed your eyes and felt the salty water drops fall into your lap. Kai’s hand removed his hand from your body, and you glanced over at him. His mouth was hanging open, and his eyebrows came together in a point. 

“What do you mean… no more baby?” His words flung out of his mouth like hot venom. Oh, he wasn’t sad- he was viciously angry.

“I wasn’t at the clinic for a check up Kai, I was there having an abortion.” You breathed out, a sense of calm washing over you as you relieved yourself of your secret. The car was silent, except for the quiet sound of Moondance on the radio. 

Kai’s eyes turned rather dark as you spoke, and you felt like he was biting his lip hard enough that blood was going to spirt out onto his soft green sweatshirt. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that you were doing that?” He spat between his clenched teeth. 

Before you could speak, the young male waiter tapped on the driver side window. Kai’s eyes didn’t leave yours as he rolled down the window. 

“Uh, order 430? Here’s your food.” The boy spoke quickly, pushing a tray full of food towards the open window.

Kai’s head slowly turned to meet the tray at his window. He reached his hand out,  batting one of the lemonades off the tray causing it to smash against the pavement. You heard the splash and Kai sucked in a deep breath.

“Did you.. Do you want a refill for that?” The young waiter asked quietly, unsure of the situation at hand. “FUCK OFF!” Kai yelled before rolling the window back up casually. The boy took a moment to assess the scene and decided it was best to just head back into the sonic. 

“That was rude, Kai!” You had never seen him behave this way. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” His devilish laughter shot around the car and gripped you like a vice. “ I think getting an abortion and not telling me is fucking rude, y/n.” 

You felt the dagger hit your heart, and guilt consumed you. 

“You told me to take the week to decide, so I decided.” Your voice surprised you, just the sheer weakness that it carried. You had zero guilt about your decision for yourself, but you felt guilty for having to make a choice that kai didn’t agree with.

“Unbelievable,” He huffed. 

“What would you have done if I told you I wanted an abortion? Huh? You would have held my hand through it?” You looked over at Kai, his anger still considerably there, but the hurt was far more visible. His face curled in that look you get right before you break down and cry.

“I had the right to fucking know. I had the right to try and change your mind. This wasn't just your choice to make.”

“You were not the one who had to carry a baby inside of you and then give birth. I’m about to graduate high school.. You clearly don’t fully understand what having a baby would mean for me, Kai!” 

“You know, you’re so fucking selfish.” Kai hissed. He watched your eyes widen, and you pulled yourself back as your jaw dropped.

He shook his head slowly, “You always want people to do everything you want them to. You don’t ever sacrifice a god damn thing for anyone. You don’t want me to talk to other girls, yet you refuse to put a label on whatever the fuck we’ve been doing.” He runs a hand down his face. Rage was filling his sad eyes again. “You want me to fall fucking head over heels for you, but then you won’t say you love me back. Then the kicker! You get knocked up, and you know that I want nothing more than to have this baby with you and you go and fucking KILL IT.” 

The car is silent again for what felt like a lifetime. Your heart was pounding, realizing his truthful words. Maybe you were selfish, maybe your fears had made you into a raging selfish bitch. 

“Kai.. I’m just trying to do what I think is right.” 

“AH! Exactly my point. You do what YOU think is right,” He hissed. 

You took a deep breath, your head is pounding and you wished that Kai had let you at least have a sip of that lemonade. 

How would they ever come back from this? You hadn’t just lost the man you had grown to love, but the best friend you had ever had. You had taken something so valuable away from him, and he was punishing you for it. 

“Do you love me?” Kai’s words burned into your skull, and you nodded quickly.

“Yes, yes I do.” You whispered. He bit his lip again and shook his head.

“No you don’t, you won’t even say it- That’s where we’re so different. I’m not afraid of you, of us.” 

You took in a shaky breath, making sure that you locked eyes with Kai as you overcame the fear of the three words you felt since the moment you met him. 

“I LOVE YOU, KAI. Okay. I FUCKING LOVE YOU. Is saying that going to fix our relationship?” 

He studied your face for a moment-like he was memorizing something he was never going to see again.

“No, you killed that too.” 

#kai anderson #kai angst #kai anderson imagine #kai anderson fanfiction #kai anderson ahs #kai anderson x you #kai anderson x reader #kai anderson smut #Kai Anderson cult #evan peters x you #Evan Peters #evan peters smut #evan peters imagine #Evan Peters x reader #ahs cult #kai ahs cult

[0mrs-evans0]

𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬... 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞

Warnings: smut +18, sexual content, fingering, f x f, lesbian sex, cunnilingus, sex in public, cheating

+18 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Words: 1,8k

Summary: Your best friend helps you detach yourself from reality.

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Enjoy the reading!

You were so tired of faking that everything is alright. Your relationship fell apart with each passing day. It wasn't the same as it used to be. Once you both loved each other, now you were together because it was much easier that way. Pretend you still feel something for him every day. Your life has become monotonous.

All the hours spent together looked the same. Nothing has changed. Well, maybe apart from the feeling you once had. You didn't feel anything for Bruce anymore. Just sad indifference. Pretending to be a happy couple in front of people was not easy. Just the thought of having to grab his hand made you disgusted. You didn't even sleep in one bed.

You weren't even sure what you were doing this for. You didn't care about him. Perhaps the thought that you would admit your mistake to your parents, who did not support the relationship from the beginning.

That evening you made an appointment with Natasha for a couple of drinks. You had a day off from work so you didn't want to stay home because you knew Bruce would be there. You didn't have to spend time with him unless it was necessary.

You started the preparations with a hot bath. You needed to relax, for a long time now your whole body was terribly tense. You poured your beloved chocolate bubble bath into the water. It was your favorite fragrance. You shake everything with your hand to make foam. You took off all your unnecessary clothing.

You stared at your naked reflection in the mirror for a moment. What happened to this confident young woman? Everything has changed since you started dating Bruce. You didn't feel so attractive anymore. You don't even remember the last time he praised you, what your body looks like. You wanted to see yourself as goddesses. You deserve it. You have decided that tonight will change your life. You will love yourself and your curves again.

You carefully put one foot in the bathtub, making sure the temperature is right. The water was hot. Only that could help soothe your sore muscles. You get immersed in the water. You don't remember the last time you were so relaxed. The light from the candles gave you a blissful feeling of peace. You reached for a glass of wine you put on the edge of the tub.

After an hour you stand on the bathroom tiles. You shudder at the feeling of their coldness, wrapped your body in a fluffy white towel, and brushed your teeth. Then did some facial treatments. The next step was to lubricate the body. For today, you've chosen a balm with a slightly chocolate-strawberry aroma.

Completely refreshed, you returned to the bedroom and then to the dressing room. From the cupboard, you pulled out new baby pink lace underwear. For a moment you wondered what to wear for tonight. You've chosen a short, satin dress that you haven't had the chance to test yet. Looking in the mirror you marveled at how well it fits all your curves. You looked really sexy. You finally felt as beautiful as one time.

You put on more makeup than usual. Now, your eyes were shimmering with the glitter you used. The lips looked really tempting in that blood-red lipstick. The confidence emanated from your posture, and that was it all about. The highlighter made you look like a celebrity.

You packed the phone and keys in a small purse. Finally, you were ready to leave. Without even looking at the couch where your "boyfriend" was sitting, you made your way to the door.

You got into the yellow taxi and after a while, you stood in front of the "Inferno" club illuminated by red neon lights. You wrote to Natasha, she was already inside.

Without waiting for anything else, you entered the club and immediately went to the bar next to which your friend was standing. "Hi!" As soon as Nat noticed you, she stepped off the barstool and hugged you. "You look so beautiful in that dress, honey!"

You smiled slightly at her praise. Bruce probably wouldn't even notice your little change. You ordered yourselves a drink, sitting at the bar all the time, laughing and talking. You don't even remember the last time you had so much fun. Banner restricted all of your life areas. You finally felt free. "That's my favorite song!" Romanoff tried to shout over the loud music. "You have to go dancing with me!"

Without waiting for your reply, she pulled your hand and led you out onto the crowded dance floor. Honestly, you didn't want to dance, but you didn't want to say "no" to her either.

You don't even know at what point you started rubbing against each other. The feeling of her body against yours was heavenly. Natasha, as if reading your mind, turned to look at you. You felt her hands on your hips. Your lips started a fight for domination. Her hand began to wander down your dress. She tugged its end gently.

Your whole body stiffened as Romanoff touched your smooth pussy. She didn't care if you were still on the dance floor full of people where someone might notice it at any moment. "God!" She moaned into your ear. "You're so wet for me. When was the last time someone touched you the way I do?" "I don't remember." Your cheeks turned red in the embarrassment. They resembled the color of a ripe tomato. Natasha did not expect such honesty.

She laughed a little, which made you worse embarrassed. Without asking any more questions, she took her hand out from your panties and licked her wet fingers provocatively.

After a while, you both ended up in a bathroom. Natasha pushed you onto the dark tiles. She smiled as she noticed the goosebumps on your skin. You couldn't help it that your own friend turned you on.

You had never thought of her that way before. "Tell me, sweetheart..." Her lips were on your neck. More shivers passed you as Natasha left bite marks on your sensitive skin. "Do you want me to ruin that pretty body of yours?" "Y-yes." You stuttered. "Yes, what?" She smiled maliciously.

"Yes, please." You said quietly. "You have to be louder. I want everyone in this fucking club to hear how thirsty you are for me. "Please fuck me!" You practically screamed. "If you are asking so nicely." She smiled seeing what state she brought you to. Just at that moment, you felt her fingers inside you.

You groaned out loud at a feeling you've never had before. You were not used to such delicate hands, but to be honest you liked what Natasha did to your body much more than men did.

Her fingers skimming along your slick lower lips. You couldn't help but keep out loud moans and gasps. Her free hand slid against the side of your face straight to the mouth. You sucked her finger at which Romanoff snarled loudly.

She had dreamed about this moment for so long. Now that she finally had you at her disposal, she couldn't get enough of your beautiful face. Your moans made Natasha want you even more. She has long suspected you're not straight. Tonight she found out the hard way.

Seeing her watching you fiercely, you pulled Natasha into a careless kiss. Her lips were soft and juicy. It was a nice change from the dry ones you've always been in contact with.

She cupped your jaw and titled your head back. She wanted to remember this view for the rest of her life. You were canting your hips for more. Natasha's fingers coated in your arousal. She was so close to your clit. She moved her thumb so she could circle it.

You were squirming at the pleasure she gave you. Your lips didn't part, you both wanted more. Suddenly she knelt down in front of you, tore your soaked panties to shreds, and made her way to your inner thighs. The feeling of her lips against your body was indescribable. You grabbed the strands of her hair with trembling hands. You weren't worried about her hairstyle, which was ruined at the moment. You had to hold on to the wall, you knew you could fall at any moment, and you were already very close to it.

Her tongue on your pussy was incredible. You knew this one time would not be enough. Natasha made you addicted to her touch and the pleasure it carried.

You were like a junkie, missing the right dose for months. Your friend was like a drug and you wanted more with every second. You would give anything to feel like this all the time. You were high. "I'm gonna cum." You moaned. "Cum, baby." She said with her lips still on your sensitive area. "Cum for me!"

"Everything fine there?" You heard a knock on the bathroom door and a concerned woman's voice. You got scared a little, but you didn't want Nat to stop. "Yeah! Everything is fine!" At the same moment you came with a loud groan.

Natasha laughed, which sent shivers down your body. "Did he ever make you so wet?" She asked with a mocking smile. Even though she had wanted you for a long time, playing with a girl of the would-be boyfriend was satisfying, to say the least. Romanoff knew she got you into a state you never knew before. Natasha made a beast out of you.

You came home on shaky legs. You still got chills at what you did with Nat. She made you addicted to herself. You wanted more and more.

When you entered the apartment, you noticed that Bruce was still sitting on the couch in the living room. Hearing the door open, he glanced towards you. "How was your night with Nat?" Bruce asked. He noticed the smudged lipstick you had all over your chin. "It was..." You have been wondering for a moment. "Intensive."

Just remembering it, wetness floated down your naked thighs.

#natsha romanoff #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow smut #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow imagine #natasha x you #natasha x y/n

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

Baby Stevie having an allergic reaction and Harry is all paranoid because his baby is all red and puffy and she can’t stop crying and you’re not home so of course Harry is gonna feel like the worst dad ever because this all happened when you were away (can you tell I just watched the game plane lol)

this is definitely not as dramatic as the scene from the game plan, but I hope you like it!

not your fault

warnings: child having an allergic reaction, (not very serious, no use of EpiPens/needles) anxiety

word count: 2.6k

“Wave bye bye!” Harry said, holding up Stevie’s arm and waving it at you. “Bye mommy!”

“Bye H, bye Stevie! I’ll be home soon, don’t cause too much trouble!” You said, laughing as you got in your car.

“I think we can manage that, hm?” He said, looking at the six month old in his arms. “What do you think?”

She babbled in response.

“Yeah?” He said, sounding very interested. “Sorry, Y/N, she says no promises,” he called, smiling.

You rolled your eyes, giving one final wave as you backed out of the driveway.

“Alright, Miss Stevie, we have the house to ourselves. What are we gonna do?”

She didn’t respond.

“Not very talkative today, are we?” He said, bouncing her a bit.

She looked him, eyes scrunching up as she yawned.

“Yawning? What’s this? It’s only 3 in the afternoon, and you’ve already had two naps today! I’m the one who should be tired, carrying you around all day,” he said dramatically. He loosened his grip on her for a fraction of a second, letting her drop less than an inch. She squealed, laughing as she gripped his shirt with her tiny fists.

“You’re an adventurous little one, aren’t you,” he smiled, repeating the motion. His heart swelled when she laughed again. That laugh was probably his favorite noise in the world. Besides yours. Maybe it was a tie.

She babbled up at him again, gesturing with her hands.

“Is that so?” Harry said, getting very involved in the conversation. “No she didn’t,” he gasped when Stevie waved her arms. “I don’t believe her!”

Stevie nodded, babbling some more words.

“What a shocking turn of events,” he said, eyes going wide.

When she was done talking, she sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he walked her to the kitchen.

“What do you say we find a snack?” He said, setting her in her high chair, hushing her when she fussed.

“Here, look at this!” He said, handing her a rubber spoon to distract her while he buckled her in.

She was instantly fascinated, investigating the new object by putting it in her mouth. Harry smiled, stepping away to open the fridge.

“What are we in the mood for today, Stevie?” He asked, turning around to face her. She stared at him with wide eyes, the spoon still in her mouth. “You’re not much help,” he laughed. “Maybe some yogurt,” he decided. 

“This?” He asked when Stevie reached for the container. She made a frustrated noise when he didn’t immediately give her what she wanted. “I have to open it, love!”

She got more upset, growling as she reached again.

“Fine, you can have it,” he said, handing her the yogurt. She looked at it, then back at him. “Right, you can’t get it, because there’s a lid,” he said, settling into the chair next to her. “Would you like me to open it?” He asked.

She allowed him to take the cup from her, watching carefully as he peeled off the tinfoil.

“See, just like that,” he said, handing the container back to her. He opened his own, laughing when Stevie smeared a glob of yogurt on her face. “Missed your mouth there, bug.”

She ignored him, continuing to make a mess. Harry just laughed, shaking his head.

Soon enough, she got bored of her snack. She communicated this by flinging her spoon onto the floor.

“Hey!” He said, leaning down to pick it up. “No throwing.”

She babbled defiantly.

“Don’t sass me!” He said, unable to keep himself from smiling. He already knew she was going to be a handful when she could talk.

Stevie pushed her yogurt away from her, smearing it all over her tray in the process.

“Done?” He asked, beginning to pull the cup away from her. When she didn’t protest, he threw it in the garbage can and reached for a washcloth.

She seemed to know what was coming and began squirming in her seat.

“Not this time, missy,” he said, remembering the other day when he had made the mistake of lifting her down before wiping her face off. The result had been food smeared all over his shirt. All over it.

He reached toward her, trying to wipe her mouth with the cloth. She turned her head every which way, somehow managing to avoid his attempts.

“Stevie,” he sighed, “Please?” He asked in a sing-song tone.

She stopped moving, intrigued by his voice. He used this opportunity to reach in again, but she was quick to turn her head. He groaned, lowering the cloth, before he had an idea.

“Stevie is my princess, my baby girl,” he sang, reaching forward slowly. She was so focused on his singing that she didn’t even flinch when he started wiping her face again. “My Stevie is so pretty, pretty like her mama,” he smiled, cleaning the last of her face. “See? All done,” he said, throwing the cloth back to the sink.

Harry went to remove the tray from her high chair, but stopped when she slapped her hands down on it.

“What?” He said, looking at her in surprise. “What do you want?”

She just looked at him.

“Come on, love, let’s go read a book!” He said, trying to remove the tray again. She fussed, banging her fists on the plastic.

“Alright, alright, you don’t have to be so aggressive about it,” he said, stepping back. “Would you like some berries?”

She babbled, bouncing in her seat.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he laughed, going to the fridge and finding the container of strawberries. “I think you’ve had these before,” he said, inspecting the fruits. “Should be fine, I’ll just cut them up small,” he said, mostly to himself.

He was excessively careful with what food he gave her. He got dozens of pamphlets from the pediatrician, filling the front of the fridge with “can baby have...” and “best foods for infants” and “nutrition tips”. You almost banned him from going to Stevie’s appointments with you, claiming your fridge was running out of room.

He didn’t care that he was probably being a helicopter parent. It was worth constantly hovering if it meant Stevie would be safe and healthy.

He rinsed the berries, patting them dry with a towel before moving them to the cutting board. He hummed along to the song playing out of the speaker. “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac, because he wanted Stevie to be introduced to excellent music as soon as possible. It would ensure she had good taste later in life.

Once the strawberries were cut into tiny pieces, he set a few of them on Stevie’s tray. She didn’t hesitate, grabbing a handful and shoving them all into her mouth.

“Good thing I didn’t give you very many,” Harry said, laughing. He closed the container, putting them back in the fridge.

His smile dropped when he closed the door and saw Stevie. She had stopped chewing and her face was turning red. His eyes widened and he rushed over, putting his thumb on her chin to open her mouth. Harry sighed in relief when he saw she had swallowed the fruit and definitely wasn’t choking. Then he started panicking again, because her face was getting brighter and her cheeks were getting puffy. Her face scrunched up and she started crying.

He quickly unbuckled her from the seat, picking her up and patting her back firmly just in case. She cried harder, so she could definitely breathe. This didn’t help Harry’s panic much, because that meant something else was wrong.

His mind was racing as he thought of what this could be. She’s had yogurt before she’s had strawberries before why is this happening what do I do-

He shook his head, thinking of what to do next. Freaking out wouldn’t help him. He had to think clearly and quickly. This was not an easy task with Stevie screaming in his ear. As distracting as it was, he wasn’t annoyed at all, because it meant her throat wasn’t closing and she could still breathe properly.

“I know love, I’m sorry, I’ll fix this, you’ll feel better soon,” he said nervously, bouncing her to try and calm her down. “Just let me... Ah! I know what we need!” He said, running into the bathroom. He opened the medicine cabinet, searching frantically for the bottle he needed.

He sighed in relief when he found the Benadryl, pulling it out along with an empty syringe. He quickly went back to the kitchen, sitting on the floor with Stevie in his lap. He scanned the label for the dose, drawing it up in the syringe and holding it to her mouth.

“Come on Stevie, I know it’s yucky, I’m so sorry, you have to take this, come on,” he encouraged her, trying to get her to stop screaming. She finally quieted, sucking on the syringe as if it were a pacifier. Harry pushed the plunger, making sure she swallowed all of the medicine. As soon as he removed it, she started crying again.

His heart broke as he pulled her against him, rubbing her back.

“It’s ok, bug, I’m so sorry,” he soothed. “You’ll feel better soon, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

Soon enough, the red started to fade and her cheeks went back to their normal size. Harry slumped back against the cabinets in relief, still holding her securely against his chest.

She was still crying, but thankfully her screaming had quieted and she was mostly just breathing unevenly.

After about ten minutes, he lifted her up to look at her. He inspected her face, making sure it was all back to normal. When he decided everything was good, he stood up and moved over to the living room with her.

He settled back on the recliner, pulling a blanket over them. She was laying on her tummy on his chest, head turned so she could hear his heartbeat. Her crying had all but stopped by now; the only noises he heard from her were a few sniffles every now and then.

Harry rubbed her back, humming softly to soothe her. She fell asleep quickly. All the crying and having an allergic reaction must have tired her out, he thought to himself. He was feeling worse and worse with every minute that passed. He was supposed to protect her. That was literally his job. He was supposed to keep her out of harm’s way. He was supposed to make sure nothing ever hurt her. He was supposed to know what foods she was allergic to, for goodness sake. That was just about the bare minimum of being a father: knowing what food could potentially kill your child and then not giving them that food.

Harry’s eyes welled up with tears. This was all his fault. He gave her those strawberries. He gave her something that caused direct harm. He hurt her.

He would never let you leave him alone with Stevie again. It wasn’t safe.

-----

“Harry, she’ll be ok!” You said, placing your hand on his arm to calm him down.

“No, she can’t be in there alone, please let me move her crib to our room,” he said desperately. His eyes darted around Stevie’s room as if he was looking for potential dangers.

“Harry, it’s alright, we have the baby monitor-“

“No, that’s not enough, she won’t be safe if we can’t see her!” He said, his eyes welling up.

“Ok,” you concede, knowing he’s in no state to argue about this. “But you can’t move her crib by yourself, why don’t we get the playpen and set it up by our bed, she can sleep in there.”

He nodded, moving to the closet and pulling out the large bag. He carried it to your room while you put Stevie’s pajamas on her.

She was totally ok. There was no trace of redness or puffiness on her face, and she had stopped crying before you had even gotten home. She was acting completely normal, her usually silly and bouncy self.

This didn’t seem to make Harry feel any better. He had been miserable since you got home and he explained what happened.

You had reassured him that Stevie had eaten strawberries before and had no problem. You explained that sometimes children just developed allergies. It was strange, and it was unfortunate, but it happened. You told him, multiple times, that this wasn’t his fault. You told him that he did a great job staying calm and getting Stevie the help she needed.

None of this seemed to matter. You could tell he was beating himself up for letting something happen to Stevie on his watch.

He didn’t even want to hold her. “She’ll be safer with you,” he said sadly.

You sighed, picking up your sleepy baby and walking to your room.

“Harry?” You asked softly, pushing open the door.

“Almost done,” he mumbled.

When he straightened up, he wouldn’t even look at you. You tried to hand Stevie to him so he could lay her down, but he quickly stepped aside.

“I’ll- I’m going to get her diffuser,” he said, leaving you and Stevie alone again.

You pressed a kiss to her forehead, setting her down gently in the playpen. You smiled when she flopped over, falling asleep almost right away.

Harry came back carrying the diffuser. He plugged it into the wall, filling the room with the sweet smell of lavender.

“Harry-“

“Don’t. Just... don’t,” he said, avoiding your eyes.

“Harry, come on. Look at me,” you said, stepping closer to him.

He finally complied, looking into your eyes. Your heart broke when you saw how sad he looked.

You opened your arms and he walked into them, holding you tightly. You felt him shaking as he started to cry.

“Harry, please don’t blame yourself for this,” you pleaded. “This exact same thing could have happened to me.”

“But it didn’t,” he said shakily. “It happened while I was watching her. You trusted me to keep her safe and I couldn’t do it,” his words broke off in a sob.

You tightened your arms around him. “Harry, you couldn’t have known. She’s eaten them before, and everything was totally fine. This isn’t your fault.”

“No, but it is!” He said, pulling away. “I fed them to her. I gave her something bad. I basically poisoned her. I can’t- I can’t watch her again. You can’t leave me alone with her again,” he said, getting the same desperate look on his face from earlier.

“Harry, wait,” you said, grabbing his arms so he couldn’t step farther away. “What if it happened to me? What if you had gone shopping and I had been here with her? What if I gave her the strawberries and I was blaming myself? What would you say?”

“I would tell you it wasn’t your fault and that you were a wonderful mother,” he said quietly, looking at the floor.

“Exactly,” you said, leaning in to meet his eyes. “You are an amazing father, H. You’re so good with her, and she loves you. One bad day doesn’t mean you’re just suddenly not a good dad anymore.”

He exhaled, pulling you back into his arms. You listened to his heart pounding as he breathed in and out shakily.

After a few minutes, you pulled back to look at him.

“Think we can go to sleep now? Stevie knocked out pretty fast, you must be tired too,” you smiled.

“Yeah, I am,” he laughed. “Emotional trauma is exhausting.”

He fell onto the bed, pulling you down with him. You both giggled, shushing each other when you remembered there was a baby sleeping next to you.

He pulled you close, tucking the blankets around you.

“Goodnight, my lovely wife,” he murmured.

“Goodnight, my lovely husband.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you fanfiction #harry styles x reader fanfiction #harry styles/reader #harry styles/you #harry styles/reader fanfiction #harry styles/you fanfiction #stevie #stevie fics #one direction #one direction fanfiction #dad!harry

[harrywritingsbyme]

Sore

Based Off Of This Ask

I love love love this concept and I had to write a lil something on it! So here's a lil dose of some black!Y/n for ya✨❤️...Enjoy🙃

You just got your hair done. You’d spent your entire day yesterday sitting in a chair getting your hair braided. Row after row your hair was individually and tightly wound and until your entire head was finally done. And to say it took an extremely long time would be a complete understatement. Since Harry had to start his day a bit early, he offered to drop you off to your stylist on the way to his first task of the day. Now even though you were able to make it on time for your appointment at 10 am, you didn’t leave until 7 pm. In that 9 hour timeframe, Harry was able to go to the meeting he had scheduled for the day, he was able to finalize some songs that weren’t completely done in the studio, and he was able to get home and start on some chores that needed to get done before you called. Meanwhile you were glued to your chair all day long; with a couple breaks here and there of course. And once you did finally call though, it was pretty late and you were completely exhausted and very hungry. You’d gotten enough rest the night before and you picked up some snacks before going into your appointment, but 9 hours was a really long time. And by the time you were 100% done, those snacks had already been demolished and you were in desperate need of some sleep. So when you plopped into the passenger seat next to Harry once he arrived to pick you up, you were very much conflicted on whether or not you wanted to eat right then and there, or pass out and worry about food in the morning. The struggle was and is very real. 

Now even though you were glued to that damn chair all day, and you grew extremely tired and hungry, it was definitely worth it. Your  stylist killed it (per usual) and you hair was absolutely flawless. You were absolutely in love with it. Your braids turned out exactly how you wanted and you were beyond happy with them. The only problem with the perfection, and precision, is that your scalp was pretty sore and sensitive. Whenever you got your braids done, your scalp was always left feeling a bit sore and beyond sensitive. Even the slightest tug or touch could set you off into a slew of winces. You wouldn’t exactly classify yourself as tender headed, but you can say that your stylist really made sure to grip your hair. And this wasn’t event the tightest she could go. Now you thought that the food Harry got you on the way home would take care of your mounting headache. But once you finished eating and you were finally getting yourself ready for bed, you realized that the headache wasn’t going anywhere without a little help. So once you change into some comfier clothes, aka Harry’s t-shirt and a pair of panties, you grab the bottle of aspirin in the bathroom and you pop two of the pills out and into your hand before heading back into the bedroom. Now before you steal some of Harry’s water to swallow the pills, you sit them down and slowly put your bonnet on your head. Again, even the slightest movement to your braids could make your scalp sting. After slowly sliding the bonnet onto your head, you quickly take the pain relievers and crawl over Harry onto your side of the bed. And to take even more precautions to reduce any type of stinging or pain, you carefully rest your head against your pillow before getting nice and comfortable. Harry then reaches over to turn the light out, and he comes in to cuddle you.

“Want a forehead massage.” He asks, bringing his hand up to wiggle them in your face.

“Please?” You pout towards him through the darkness.

“Of course baby.” Harry replies softly, bringing his head up to your forehead. As soon as his fingers touch your skin, you can just feel the ache melting away. The way he’s putting a little pressure on you while using circular motions to diffuse the ache was so good.

“Feels nice.” You hum, completely melting into Harry and the sheets. It felt so good that not too long after Harry began, you were fast asleep. And in Harry’s book, that was a win. Before either of you knew it, you were passed right out. You were finally getting the rest you were in dire need of. Harry’s little massage was the perfect way to ease you right into your much awaited sleep. 

Now let’s fast forward to today, the very next day after getting your hair done. Your head wasn’t as sore as the night before but it wasn’t completely insensitive. Your headache was gone, and simply having your braids move around as you walked wasn’t as bad as it was last night. But if anything else were to be inflicted on your head, you’d be wincing and groaning at how your head was hurting.

For example, you were sucking Harry off. You couldn’t readily explain why and exactly how you ended up kneeling between Harry’s legs on the bed in the middle of the day, but you were. Everything you two did ended up in some type of sex. And you weren’t mad at it at all. 

As you took his cock back and forth, in and out of your mouth, Harry was just lying there and taking it all in. The way you drenched his cock with your mouth and languidly, yet swiftly sucked on him was something that Harry’d never experienced. You were sucking the life out of him and it felt absolutely amazing. 

“Fuck Y/n!” Harry groans out to you loudly, feeling the tip of your tongue swirling around the lower edge of his head. While you do this, you continue to squeeze and tug at his girthy and glistening shaft. Through the wet sounds of you slobbering all over his cock, you loved listening to Harry’s moans and whines out to you. Hearing how good you felt around him, whether it be your mouth or pussy always made you (and your pussy) very happy. You liked knowing that you were the one, and only one, who could fully pleasure Harry. You then shift your focus away from the swollen head of his cock and to the rest of him. Keeping your mouth wrapped around him, you begin to slowly take his cock in it’s entirety into your mouth. As your mouth sinks down his shaft and he can feel your throat closing in on him, Harry just about loses it. He felt like he could cum any second from the way you were taking care of him. When you successfully take all of him, you manage to hold him right there for a few seconds before pulling your mouth back up. But as you’re coming back up, you quickly push your mouth back down to he base of his cock. You made sure that your mouth/throat was completely filled with his cock. Your head was so far down that your nose was brushing against the hairs surrounding his cock. 

That did it for Harry. The way you quickly shoved your mouth back down onto him, buried your nose into the area surrounding his cock, gagged at how big he was as he was lodged between the walls of your throat, and squeezed at his balls was enough to drive him insane. And it did do that for sure. What you did sent Harry right over the edge. In a split second Harry was releasing all of his cum down your throat while he had ha hand wound into your hair. Yes, Harry has his hand tightly wrapped around your hair that was still a bit sore from the day before. Immediately after you feel the stinging sensation from his tugs and tight grip, you move up to pull your mouth up from his cock completely. 

“Ow babe.” You wince while trying to catch your breath. You then pull your head away from his grip so that he could get the message to let go.

“Did I pull too hard?!” Harry asks concernedly, quickly snapping up from his release to focus on what was going on with you. 

“No, you pulling is completely fine. I love when you normally do it. It’s just that my head is still a bit sore from getting my hair done yesterday.” You explain to him with a little huff before bringing your head back down to lick up any leftover cum that was on his cock.

“M’sorry baby, can I eat you out t’make it up to you?” Harry offers pitifully. There was a lot to take in at this point. Like he felt bad for not taking your braids into consideration, but those feelings were quickly being overshadowed by the feelings of your tongue daintily licking up any of his remaining cum that didn’t flow down your throat. 

“M’kay.” You agree to him once you’ve licked up and swallowed every last drop of his cum. 

“Switch with me baby.” Harry instructs, lifting himself up from the bed to move where you are. You quickly lift yourself up from between his legs and crawl up tp where he once was. After you both have switched positions, Harry wastes zero time pulling your shorts along with your panties down and off of you body. “Well don’t you have the prettiest pussy.” Harry admires, taking in the darker, and very sticky area between your legs. Sucking his cock was just one of the things that could always flood your panties. You just loved it. “Can’t wait t’dig in.” He continues, bringing his hand up to push your outer lips apart to get a better look at you. By doing this he could see just how wet you were for him and seeing that didn’t stop a shock from going straight down to his cock. “Oh and another thing. You can pull as hard as you want.” Harry announces up to you, sending you a little wink and a smirk before bringing his mouth in. And once he does, you become a complete mess. He completely buries his head between your legs and goes to town on you. You could feel his tongue lapping all of your juices up and circling around your entrance. It felt so good to have his mouth on you like this that your legs were constantly trying to snap shut around his head. You were doing this so much that Harry had to wrap his arms around your thighs and pin your legs to the bed so that you wouldn’t try to close them around his head. 

“Oh my god Harry!” You shout to him through a series of moans. Since his arms were wrapped underneath your thighs, Harry had enough wiggle room to bring his hand down you your pussy and spread you wide for him. By doing this, Harry was able to get every last part of you with his tongue. To say that it felt so good to have his tongue licking into he most sensitive parts of you, and even attempting to fuck you and his his tongue into your hole would be a complete understatement. All you could do was moan loudly, thrash your hips up and down with his mouth, and pull on his hair. Your fingers were tightly wound in Harry’s curls and he absolutely loved it. He always got a little kick out of you pulling on his hair. To him it was verification that he was doing everything right and pleasuring you beyond belief. 

As he continues to lick and suck and make an utter mess out of you, you can feel a warm knot forming in the pit of your stomach. The longer he continued to harshly suck and lick into you, the quicker your release sped towards you. Now even though you were the one obviously being pleasured, Harry also managed to take care of himself a little. Everything from the way you tasted and smelled to the way you cried out to him in pleasure, even to the little bit of hair that was beginning to grow and curl down there was effecting him. He couldn’t get enough of you and neither could his cock. As he devoured your cunt, Harry was messily rutting his cock into the bed. Since he himself came not too long ago, his cock was still pretty sensitive. Add onto that the fact that your pussy was to die for and you were clinging onto his hair for dear life while he ate you, and Harry was a goner. 

When he feels your little entrance begin to contract around his tongue, Harry begins to move his tongue around you even faster and he also begins to suck harder. He then gives you a couple more deep licks before focusing his attention onto your clit and the sensitive outer edges of your pussy. He uses the tip of his tongue to lick the outer part of you from top to bottom before focusing on your clit. When he sucks on your clit, he makes sure to moan louder so that the vibrations could really hit you and push you even closer to the edge of your release. He also uses one of his thumbs to pull back the hood of your clit to get even more access to the oh so sensitive bundle of nerves. When he does this, you lose it. 

“Oh my- fuck! M’gonna cum!” You rush out, feeling the once budding fire in the pit of your stomach overcome you. To make it even better, Harry uses his free hand to put a bit of pressure on your burning lower stomach to intensify your release.

As you came in his mouth, Harry’s head was spinning. He loved making you cum hard and feel amazing. And being up close with your pussy like this as you came only make his head spin even more. All he wanted to do now was keep on pleasuring you.

Once you’re completely done riding the wave of your release, Harry unhooks his arms from around you thighs and he rests his head on one of them to stay in between your legs.

“Am I forgiven baby?” Harry mumbles up to you.

“More than forgiven after that.” You hum delightedly through your labored breaths, still feeling the tingles and aftershocks from the release you just had.

“Wanna play some more.” Harry begins, bringing a hand to your pussy and squeezing the outer flesh. “Wanna be inside, can I?” Harry questions further, keeping his eyes on the supple flesh that was between his forefinger and thumb. Simply looking at it made Harry just want to take a bite out of you. He was addicted.

“Mm yes please!” You readily comply, looking forward to what he was planning on doing to you.

Forget the stuff you two had to get done around the house, this was going to be way more fun. And by the looks of it, you had a feeling that you wouldn’t be needing an aspirin just for your head. 

Masterlist

#Harry Styles #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shots #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry x reader #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x black!reader #harry styles writing #my harry writing #black!reader✨ #concepts of h #harrywritingsbyme

[low-budget-mulan]

My Experience with the Covid Vaccine

Hi Everyone! I’ve been receiving a lot of questions about my experience with the Covid vaccine and I figured it would be best to just make a post where I can answer everyone’s questions all in one place. I will be going over a couple of different things here from how I was able to get the vaccine, my reaction to the vaccine, the ethics behind the vaccine (for my Catholic, Christian, Pro-Life friends-- you can ignore this section if you are none of those things), how the vaccine works, and why you should get the vaccine. I will try my best to make everything here as honest as I can in terms of my experience and I will link you to sources for my more scientific facts. I know that there is a lot of misinformation out there and fear regarding the vaccine and I hope to put all that to rest. 

So let’s start this off with how I was able to get the vaccine. For those of you who don’t know I am a healthcare worker. I work in EMS as an EMT.  I was lucky enough to have the option for either the Moderna or the Pfizer vaccine. My company offered us the Moderna vaccine, but the local hospital in our area (which was offering the Pfizer Vaccine) had some extra vaccines and were generous enough to share those vaccines with us. My company wouldn’t receive their shipment for another week or two and I wanted to get my dose as soon as possible, so I decided to get my dose through the local hospital. Which is how I ended up with the Pfizer one. 

Many of you asked about my reaction to the vaccine. I have had both doses now and my reactions to both were very different. These were MY reactions. I know people who had different reactions than me, so just because it happened to me does not mean it will happen to you. Everyone is different and can experience things on their own. For my first dose I didn’t have any reactions. I just had the sore arm that comes with any vaccination. They are injecting it directly into your muscle so you are going to be sore. That is normal and you shouldn’t be worried. It feels kind of like a charlie horse or like you worked out really hard at the gym, but only in that one spot. Just ice it or throw on a heat pack or take a tylenol and power through. You did a good thing for yourself and your community. About 18 days later I had my second dose of the vaccine. This dose is larger and is needed in order for you to have the immunity to the virus. DO NOT MISS YOUR SECOND DOSE. I made the mistake of getting this shot while on duty lol. I had started my day with some normal back and neck pain that I attributed to regular heavy lifting of patients and a car crash I had a month prior. About 4 hours after getting my vaccine I started feeling VERY achy in both my back and neck. I thought nothing of it because I started the day with that pain and figured it was just because we had lifted some heavier patients. About an hour later I started getting the chills and the weakness. I was just feeling off and not quite myself. As the night progressed I ended up getting a low grade fever, nausea (luckily I had zofran on hand), a cough, dizziness, and I was diaphoretic (sweaty). I just really didn’t feel very good. I powered through my shift where I got off at 0700 and went home the next morning where I was able to sleep it off. By noon I was back to my regular self with only the sore arm. My reaction to the vaccine from start to finish was probably only about 15 hours. Yea that reaction sucked and I really did not feel too great, but would I do it again if it meant protecting myself and others from Covid? Hell yes!

The process for getting the vaccine may differ at each distribution site in terms of registration, but there are a few things that are going to stay the same. It started off with me registering on the website and answering some basic questions. Such as “are you a healthcare worker?” “have you been exposed to Covid without PPE?” “Are you Pregnant?” “Are you over 16?” “Do you have any allergies?” etc. Common questions that get asked in the current medical setting. I then had to register for an appointment time and show them my ID to prove I am who I am. After answering those questions I was sent off to wait for the first available person to administer my vaccine. Each table is sanitized after each person. I went over and got my shot. Went and filled out my vaccination card and had it signed off by someone then I went to sit in the waiting area for 15 minutes. That part is mandatory for everyone in case there is a reaction to the vaccine. WHICH IS EXTREMELY RARE. If you are a person who has many allergies then it is recommended you wait 30 minutes instead as it can sometimes take 30 minutes for a reaction to develop. Luckily there are healthcare providers all around so you are in good hands :) The whole process was so simple and I made friends with everyone else who was there getting their shots. We were bonding over our combined 5G super coverage. It was glorious. 

How does the vaccine work? The Covid 19 Vaccine is a newer type of vaccine. It is something called a mRNA vaccine. mRNA Vaccines are different from our traditional vaccines as they don’t have a weak or inactive version of the virus or bacteria in them. What it does is it teaches the cells in our body how to fight off the virus by creating a protein to trigger our immune systems into action and fight off whatever shouldn’t be there.  After the protein in our cells is created it gets displayed for our body to realize that it doesn’t belong. Our immune system then starts creating antibodies to fight off this unknown and very unwelcome protein. After our body has created these antibodies it deletes the protein out of existence as if it never existed leaving only the antibodies to protect us later down the line in case we do end up catching Covid (you can read more on this here https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/different-vaccines/mrna.html) . I think mRNA vaccines are going to be the future. They are more effective and way cooler in how they work. How did this vaccine come out so fast you ask? It was obviously planned by the government right? Wrong. Stop with the conspiracy theories ya wackos. mRNA vaccines had been in the works for YEARS.  China had successfully identified the protein on the outside of the virus and sent that information to the labs across the world (pfizer and Moderna) to get started on a vaccine. They were able to crank one out and start the testing on animals, then people. After the trials they were able to approve these vaccines for distribution across the world (https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/why-are-mrna-vaccines-so-exciting-2020121021599). So basically the vaccine is cool and in no way a conspiracy. 

Now for all of my Catholic, Christian, and Pro-Life friends. Is it ethical to receive the vaccine. In short, yes. For those of you who are still reading this part the reason this is a big issue for my Catholic, Christian, and Pro-Life friends is because past vaccines have used stem cells from an aborted baby. This is not meant to start a pro-life/pro-choice debate. Any of that on this post will be shut down immediately. For us as Catholics and as people who are pro-life it can be seen as a morally gray area due to the fact that a life has been taken and each human being has inherent dignity and value from conception to natural death. Now on to why we are able to receive the vaccine. Both the Moderna and the Pfizer vaccines were made using the mRNA technique. Which basically means there is no fetal tissue in them. Now where people are getting confused. While the vaccines do not use fetal tissue in them, they still tested them on a morally compromised cell line. Now the reason we are able to receive these vaccines still is because while neither of these vaccines is remote from evil there were no other options for us to keep the population as a whole safe. If you are still concerned about it we are so far removed from the act of the abortion that we cannot be held accountable for the actions that took place that day. This is a very very shortened version and if you would like to keep reading then you can do so here https://www.catholic.com/audio/cot/covid-19-vaccines-and-the-usccb?fbclid=IwAR2xRPbNxiCdsc1ISeb6u_D-YHjyoCrQlT3oTI4QZdeU1z9LZ6eGtbqrrKw. We should be getting this vaccine to protect those of us who are unable to receive it. 

This post was not meant to be political in any way. I wanted to help you all understand why this vaccine is so important and put your minds at ease. Remember, the reasons vaccines work is because of herd immunity. Which means if the majority of us as a community get the vaccine then it will help to keep those who can’t get it (the pregnant, breastfeeding, immunocompromised, etc) safe and better protected from the virus. So please do your part. Social distance, wear your mask, wash your hands, get your vaccine, and look out for your neighbors. We are all in this together.

#sara posts about stuff #covid #vaccine #covid19 #corona #corona virus #covid vaccine #antivax #antivaxxer

[youarejesting]

Mania.3

[Full Master List] [Mania Master List]

Beta: N/A Rating: Mature 18+ Pairing: BTS OT7 Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Comedy, Omegaverse Words: 1k Blood types: Namjoon, Jhope, Jungkook, Yoongi (A) Taehyung (AB) Jin, Jimin and Yoongi (O) (Jimin in real life is an A blood type)

Summary: At eighteen everyone takes a blood test to find out their blood types. A, B, or O. Each blood type represents the person’s secondary gender Alpha, Beta or Omega and can be Dominant (+) or Recessive (-). 

When small thin Yoongi receives his letter he doesn’t expect A+. There was no way he was an Alpha especially not a dominant. But as time passes he shows no Alpha nor Omega tendencies and frankly he doesn’t care. Working in his father’s electrical business helps pay the bills but Yoongi’s real passion is music. 

One very hot day in the roof space of a luxury apartment that Yoongi is rewiring an intoxicatingly pleasant smell churns his insides and he finds himself in need of something to quench his thirst. 

[First] [Prev] [Mania] [Next]

Yoongi went to the appointment thinking he would be stupid not too, this was a well reknowned specialist and a celebrity had given him the appointment. This doctor was the best of the best and after checking in Yoongi was given a full check up, blood tests and more. The doctor made sure to tell him about all the risks involving his late blooming. He had been misdiagnosed or his results had been mixed with other students in the class. 

Yoongi thought back to his graduating class, was there anyone whose results could have been switched. He wasn’t sure if he could really pinpoint anyone who could have accidentally switched their results.

“So, on top of the misdiagnosis, you haven’t experienced any heats until just last week?” The doctor asked typing on her computer. “You have experienced fluctuations with weight, acne, any excessive body hair?”

“No, I haven’t had anything?” Yoongi wondered what those things had to do with all this, he was just here to get some suppressants now that he was an Omega. It didn’t matter to Yoongi when his body decided it was ready or how, he didn’t care what his first or second gender was he didn’t care about things like that.

“So,” The doctor turned from her computer and looked Yoongi in the eye, “our dilemma is, that you haven’t technically gone through puberty properly, you have for your first gender your voice deepens and such like that, but you hadn’t gotten your first heat until a week ago.”

“Okay, so I am going through puberty now?” He asked confused, “what does that mean?”

“It means your heats will be unstable, greatly so because it is trying to play catch up with the rest of your body, I am prescribing you a rather strong suppressant and also a mild one, what I would like you to do is collect them today from the pharmacy and carry them with you. Your body at any moment could fall into a heat again, if and when that happens I want you to take the mild suppressant if that doesn’t alleviate the symptoms I want you to try the stronger ones.”

“So you're saying at any moment I could just,” Yoongi clicked his fingers emphasising his point. The doctor nodded grimly. This wasn’t what he had expected to hear at all. “So if it happens the weak one and if they don't work the stronger ones''

“Yes until we can find the right dose there is no harm in using the stronger medication as a failsafe to stop any pheromone secretion and to ease your discomfort during this time,” the printer behind the doctor whirred to life and his prescription was spat from its mouth. “The thing is I have to warn you, your body is vulnerable to pheromones and it can in fact trigger your heats. This transition may last anywhere from a few weeks to a year”

“It might take a year for my hormones to even out?” Yoongi asked, exasperated by the information. 

“Yes, I recommend perhaps seeking a partner to help with your symptoms, or simply taking the medicine until things settle down.” The doctor paused, handing over the prescription and paused, “I don’t think it will be worth mentioning, but there is a slight chance that the medication might make your symptoms worse as they will try to overcome the suppression, its basic instinct that when in heat an Omega desires to be bred. But the chances are so slim that I don’t believe you should have a problem.”

Yoongi’s mouth was hanging open, so not only could it happen any time any where, for no apparent reason, or even induced by an Alpha just walking past, it might not be something he can suppress and to top it off it would last a whole year. “Being an Omega sucks.”

He snatched the prescription from the bench and headed to the pharmacy, which was connected to the doctor's office by a set of clear automatic doors. The man at the counter seemed way too excited to see Yoongi.

“Hey how can I help you today?” The man chirped up, eyeing the prescription in Yoongi’s hand as if it were a winning lottery ticket. “Do you have a prescription to fulfil?”

Yoongi wanted to tell him that of course he did, why else would he come in holding the obvious medication script if he wasn’t filling a prescription? It’s not like he was in a particular mood to chat with the pharmacist. But he held his tongue and handed the paper over.

“If you would like to sit we will have your medicine ready quickly” He gestured to a few seats before heading to the back. Yoongi called his father asking him what their plans were, he was bored not working and if he didn’t get back to work he wouldn’t be able to afford rent.

“Well we have a few small odd jobs today and tomorrow but on Wednesday we have Mister Kim’s Apartment again.” Yoongi’s dad rattled off everything left over since Yoongi had gotten sick and was unable to finish the wiring.

“Listen, put me on for some jobs and I will finish the wiring on Wednesday, it’s my fault I didn’t finish it in the first place.” Yoongi sighed standing to collect his prescription, “I need to get back to work” 

Yoongi was happy to be back at work, after his days off during his heat he just wanted to forget all about it and do what he did best. The first few homes were easy, the omega’s who were home were super nice to Yoongi as always and he finished up his work and quickly left. It wasn’t until he walked into the last job of the day, an Alpha who needed a powerpoint installed, easy work but his pheromones were kind of annoying.

Yoongi felt the familiar dull ache in his stomach and quickly took the weak suppressant and the symptoms disappeared easily. He finished his work and left quickly not wanting to smell the Alpha’s sickening pheromones. They were nothing like the band members he had spent his heat with, even the omega’s smelt better than that Alpha.

Yoongi was disgusted that even some weak pheromones could induce his heat, but on the bright side the mild suppressant he was given did the job, he was feeling perfectly fine. Perhaps this wasn’t going to be as scary as he thought.

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[shesawriter39049]

|PRETTY PLEASE| M|

SMUT/ LIGHT ANGST

Pairing: Taehyung X Reader ( A lil Joonie at the end)

Song reference: Dua Lipa-Pretty Please

About- Tae fucks you on top of your receptionist desk before you fire her…

Or- Tae’s feeling a little needy...and somewhat low key, self continuous about you possibly hiring a new production assistant..AKA...Jungkook. It seems as though Mr. Kim takes pride in being the youngest within the office! It seems as though your baby boy just needs a little..reassurance....

Warnings: Soft dom OC, Service top Tae, Baby/baby boy/praise kink/ over-stimulation/ cum play/cum as lube(using someone elses cum as lube to be exact) Fingering, Semi public sex, unprotected sex/ dirty talk, biting/marking kink/minimal prep, oral(F receiving), Finger sucking, (Joon is mentioned a couple times during sex but not physically present) he dose however come in after it’s over and shares a kiss with Tae at the end BTW (I feel like I’m missing some...but theirs nothing like off the wall in this one)

Note- This one shot  is a part of my OT7 Poly AU called 7 deep! Part 1 will be linked below! Short version of the overall plot: Your Married to Namjoon, however you’re both in a open relationship and run a very successful Adult Entertainment company called “Onyx” with your 5 college lovers AKA BTS Minus Kookie! There is a lil backstory sprinkled in because without it the dynamic would not really make sense....

Tae is her executive assistant upon other things BTW... 

Theres a HUGE praise kink and a lot of dirty talk here...he’s her baby..point blank...

Joonie’s lost and jsut wants everybody happy

WC: 7K

Onyx Entertainment 7:09 AM

~~~~

“Y/n’’ Taehyung comes over slowly, voice still full of sleep. sitting even lower, and huskier than usual..almost a whisper actually. Positioning himself right behind you, hips flush against the swell of your ass, snaking his arms, around your waist. Hands trailing slowly up your stomach, allowing his fingers to roam your body freely until one of his hands is flush around the front of your neck. Applying just enough pressure to trigger a slight chill to course up your spine, as the stark contrast from the array of metals he has dancing along his delicate fingers brushes against your skin. However, your so used to the position, especially where Taehyung is concerned it doesn’t stifle you the way it used to, somehow your still able to function….

Arching your back even deeper….however contrary to what he may want…that’s not really why your arching at the moment…..

“God,was it necessary for you to wear this dress today??!” Tae whispers, sounding almost pained at the revelation! Face nuzzled into the side of your ear, nipping at the gold hoop dangling from your lobe. “Y/nnnn” He’s needy…and whiny…very..not that your surprised though…

A low almost disinterested hum rings in the back of your throat as your fingers patter against the phone. ‘Yes baby?.”

”Stop, ignoring me” Pouts off his lips as he nips your ear even harder, a slight growl that sounds far too cute to be even remotely threatening leaving his throat!

A disgruntled...nah, an infuriated groan huffs off your chest upon seeing there’s 40,yes 40 voicemail’s.. stored on said phone. Well aware your busy, but not busy enough to have gotten 40 messages all in one night. A string of curses hush off your lips upon hearing the date and reasons behind the numerous calls that were clearly never returned.So ya know, there goes a good… shit, 10k down the drain in payroll over the past 4 in a half months she's worked here!

“Tae, add “Officially, fire Jordan’’ to my list of things to do today..please and fucking thank you…”

Slamming the headset against the desk phone hard enough to have to actually bounce off the receiver. Taehyung knows you like the back of his hand though, not even blinking as he damn near acts as if he’s spider man grabbing the phone before it completely falls off the desk. Within seconds he instantly brings his hands back to their initial position, caressing your frame against his own. Suddenly your curiosity gets the best of you so you welcome yourself to her desktop. Logging in to Outlook to check her work email. And what do you know, 120 unopened emails…. god why…WHY!?

“You have got to be fucking kidding..” Sighs off your lips in disbelief “What the actual fuck has she been doing this entire time!?” The question was rhetorical: you really didn’t wanna know, it took every ounce of self control not to search her browser….You’d probably pop a vessel if you logged on and found her history full of online shopping, Facebook, and UberEats! Body slouching into his almost as if all of the energy got sucked out of your body upon seeing the shitshow that is Jordan’s email!

“So wait, am I adding that to your schedule before or after your 7:30 AM appointment to fuck Taehyung Kim?” Brow quirked in genuine curiosity, as if he just asked you the day's weather forecast or something!.

Honestly? It took you a minute to even catch on because he said that shit with his entire chest, like, he meant that! Not even an ounce of amusement laced within his delivery….

A loud cackle ripped from your throat once you actually process what this man just said. Reclining your head against his shoulder, placing a lingering kiss along his cheek which he leaned into instantly. The grip he holds around both your waist and neck tightening once you start to rock your hips against him. Biting your lips,lashes fluttering in his direction, yanking the chain around his neck ever so slightly.

“Hmm….must have missed that when I skimmed my itinerary this morning…huh?” A sly smirk playing along your lips as you lock eyes with his.

“Mmm, minor but very important schedule alteration…weren’t you the one who taught me that you always have to be ready to adapt to any and every situation?”

A low hum rings in the back of your throat as you gently massage his freshly dyed scalp “I do recall saying something along those lines...” Ghosting your lips over the hinge of his jaw...blowing lightly.

Those electric blue locks you'd grown to love were now replaced by a color you haven't seen in lord knows when. Black, as simple as it may seem it just  compliments his caramelized complexion and dark brows perfectly. His hair is getting long all over now, and the older he gets the more comfortable he seems to be with letting his entire face be seen, hair parted messily down the middle in soft waves. It’s still kinda surreal watching him turn more, and more into a man as the years go on! Still remembering when he was walking around campus with his hella brassy box dyed blonde hair and Pacsun jeans....

Turning his head so his lips hovered over yours close enough that you could almost taste the Caramel ice capp on his tongue. Nosing along your face like a spoiled puppy silently begging for affection, chin tilted upwards just enough to let you know what he needed!

“We don’t have time baby boy you know this..” Leaning down to kiss the pout off is lips before it even appeared “You know were slammed and Yoongi has production getting in at-”

Taehyung leans in to capture your lips in another kiss, clearly less than intrigued by anything you had to say at the moment. This time a little deeper, moaning against your tongue as he breaches the seam of your lips. It’s hard and messy, Tae’s teeth accidentally clack against your own, your trying to speak but it keeps getting muffled against his lips! He’s shameless with his need, the way he’s licking his way around your mouth while he slowly grinds his hips into your ass tells you that. Nothing subtle about how hard his dick is straining against the leather of his pants…

He doesn't waste any time either,clawing his way up your thighs, hiking your dress up, around your waist, sliding his hand down to cup your pussy between his palm. Taehyung lets out a loud wanton moan, one that bounces off the brick walls around you once he feels how warm and wet you are. The blatant wet patch in the center of your panties, that his fingers are damn near stuck too!  You move your hand up to the side of his neck, taking a somewhat aggressive hold to try and get him to calm down enough for you to speak. Nails digging tiny crests into his skin, yet you don't stop because you know he fuckin loves it.

“No fuckin patience” Tugging his bottom lip between your teeth, far to fond of the man in front of you to have any bite laced within your delivery.

“You talkin about me or you?” A playful smirk plays along his tongue as you lean up to trail yours over his lips to ease the sting before sucking it into your mouth.

“What’s got you so distracted today hmm??” Head cocked to the side, feigned innocence’s playing along your tongue as you gaze back at him, taking in how blatantly fucked out he already looks.

A low whine rips from his lips as he forces himself to break apart just enough to actually speak properly! “Are you forgetting we came here together?” Brow arched knowingly, Taehyung drops his head, to lick, nip, suck, and kiss your neck, ripping a soft moan from your throat, reclining your neck to give him more room to work. Breath hot and heady against your skin as he noses up the side of your neck.   “And we have plenty of time,I already know you don’t need much right now….” Clasping his fingers around your heat even tiger “Baby, please”

Point being, Tae utilized his free access to the apartment that Namjoon and you share this morning after deciding he had no interest in driving himself to work. Which also means, he heard the two of you fucking in the shower, Joon and Hoseok had been in NY for a convention for the past week so lets just say it was long overdue. And actually…. correction, he wasn’t just chilling in your apartment, he was laying on your bed getting off to the two of you fucking in the shower. Still, this boy is insatiable and that wasn’t enough for him to be even remotely satisfied...

“Mmm…” You rock backwards, grinding against his length even harder, tilting your head back, taking the brunette’s ear between your teeth. Pulling hard enough to make him whine, body shuddering against your own, lips flush to his ear “Oh, so it’s my fault you invited yourself in and listened to us fuck in the shower?” Painting your lips down the side of his neck until you suck a mark into the juncture of his collarbone. Low enough that his shirt can cover it during business hours, though you know if he had it his way your marks would be plastered over the front column of his neck!

“My fault you’re already nice and hard and all you wanna do is fuck me until I come allll over your cock too?” His body goes completely pliant under your tongue, just like a cat being pulled by the nape of its neck. A faint whimper falls from his lips as he reaches up, hands getting tangled into your hair pressing down to keep you in place. “My fault your too horny to focus today?”

“Fuck today!” He scoffs around a moan “You’re always distracting, I always want you, god, since fuckin Econ, second period, you know this.” Damn, he’s taking this back to his freshman year of college!? “You already know what you do to me!” Mumbling against your jaw, kissing across it as best as he can at the current angle.

A pleased hymn rings in the back of your throat at the memory “My spoiled baby…” Breath fanning out warm against his skin “Always loved being marked up by me huh?” Taehyung is a resident switch, especially during his college days, yet for some reason where Yoongi and yourself are concerned this man becomes submissive as fuck. He’s always a pleaser, but it comes something serious where your concerned, his need to make you feel good almost overtaking his own need to climax!

Tilting your head to meet his hooded gaze head on “What’s got you all hard baby? Thinking about how easily you could just slide in?” Nothing accidentally about the low moan that slides off your tongue after every word. As you place your hand ontop of his. Gently rocking it back and forth against your clit “ How warm and wet I am? How messy it’ll be, feeling Joonies come dripping out of me as you fuck me?”

“Y/n! Just- fuck…”

‘Is that what you want Tae? You wanna fill me up and fuck me open with your big, thick ,cock?” Your staring him dead in the eye as these words purr off your tongue “Joonie came hard too, there's still so much leaking out right now, my panties have been saoked since I left the house..” Taehyung’s jaw tense as you slip a hand behind you, gripping his dick in your palm through his pants. He was always one to go commando so the rough texture flush against his length was really fucking him up right now. Eyes fluttering shut, “You know I’d still be nice and tight for you too..I’m always tight and warm around you aren't I baby??”

Taehyung didn't even have to open his eyes to know you had a smirk on your face, he could feel the smirk within your voice and he whined..loud. Dragging his bottom lip between his teeth before releasing another moan once you free him from your palm and start grinding your hips back against him.

You push back and he whines even louder this time, leaning down to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck. “God, please, baby let me fuck-let your baby boy fuck you. Let me make you feel good…” You can feel his cock twitch behind you, and there's no denying it, you want it just as bad as he does.

You can tell he’s getting himself worked into a frenzy so you kiss him quite. Massaging your tongue against his cooing lightly at how quickly he just melts into you!

“Mmm, if I let you fuck me are you gonna be a god boy for me? Make me come all over your cock?” You know, you already know but you like riling him up….

“Fuck yes, I’ll fuck you so damn good…” Sinking his teeth into your pulse point, not even attempting to let up until he rips the neediest whine imaginable from your lips, knees damn near bucking in the process. Taking the skin between his teeth and sucking...hard..Tae wants to leave a mark..he appears to be feeling oddly possessive today…

“God, I can fuckin smell you now...fuck…” Taehyung’s grip on your hip tigtnes “Let me….fuck baby let me…”

“Jesus-Fu- Do you even know how good you sound when you beg?” A shaky breath signs off your lips and you can feel Tae Smiling against your skin..well aware he’s about to get what he wants.

“Yeah, I know, I know, I sound good,” Tae smirks around a moan . “I know I do, I know how much you fuckin love it too… Love seeing me all hard, and needy for you…..only you. Your the only one that gets me like this”

A fond smile plays along your lips as you stroke his nape..”My baby boy yeah?”

Taehyung just whines in response bucking his hips even harder, honestly you could tease him all day but there really isn't the time. “Yours, always yours” there’s a slight pout playing on his lips. Almost as if he’s trying to convince himself of that as well which is something you take a mental note of to bring up later!

“Yeah,” You moan, low and breath. “Yeah, come on...fuck me.”

“About damn time….” You can feel his lips curl into a smile that you can only imagine sparked something wicked! Because your baby boy is a spoiled brat at heart!

With one clean sweep he knocked every damn file off Jordan’s desk and flipped you onto your back. Hips shifting slightly so your legs are dangling off the edge, as he steps between them. Kneading your inner thighs beneath skilled nimble fingers as he loosely wraps them around his waist.

Once your situated you peer up at him, a playful smirk playing on your lips as your nails claw up his sides…. “You wanna make me feel good Tae?”

“I wanna fuckin ruin you, I always do...every time I look at you I just wanna give you every damn thing! However you want it….” Tae Moans….sliding your panties to the side a slight hiss ringing in the back of his throat as he claws up your thighs. Your still dripping, lips swollen, clit still sensitive to the touch.

You visibly shudder, gut twisting at the admission...as you take in his lust-filled hooded gaze.“Such a pretty pussy baby…” Long, delicate fingers trail up and down your clit gently. Leaning down to blow a trail up your lips just to make you squirm.

“Fuckkk” Back arching off the desk, not one to try and hide how affected you are. You know he gets off on praise. “You can, you already know you can do whatever you want to me….” You moan even louder as he works your clit a little quicker, adding more pressure.

“God, I still can’t get over the way you sound” Leaning down to kiss you, deep languid strokes of his tongue while he traces his fingers around your entrance….he knows damn well you don't need it but he can’t help himself. “I wanna put my fingers inside..feel how tight and wet you'll be around my cock…” Tae slurs around a moan as his tongue hits the roof of your mouth. Instead of responding you reach down, taking his wrist and guiding him straight in, until your both gasping against one another.

Inserting his middle and ring finger, making you pull back just enough to catch your breath, inhaling a sharp breath through your nose. He can feel Namjoon’s come just leaking out once his fingers slush through as he buries himself knuckle deep. “Fuck, Yn” Growls off his tongue, gaze instantly darkening

Nose scrunching into his face the deeper he works his digits into, your warm, tight and messy, so fucking messy! Curling his fingers upwards as if he’s trying to scoop his come forwards so he can push it all back in, “Such a messy pussy”

“Feel good baby?”You can feel him smiling into the kiss, and a deep groan rips from the back of your throat.

“You know I can handle more than that baby, come on….” Taehyung moans at the instructions pulling back to brace his forehead against yours gazing down at you through hooded lids. His arm starts to move a little harder, making you spread your legs on instinct, wrist shifting ever so slightly until your moaning louder, deeper..hips rocking up to meet his palm. Making sure it smacks against your clit head on every time he makes contact.

“Yeah, fuck. Like that, just like that”  Snaking your hands under his shirt to claw up his back, cooing at how hard he shutters at the contact “Angle u-fuck” A light giggle leaving your lips a stated smile on your face as he finds the spot before you even get it out. Twisting and angling his arm, fucking his fingers into you until he finds that ridget patch nuzzled between your heat, thighs tensing around his waist once he does and he just beams down at you…

He starts working his fingers faster, adding a third, spreading them ever so slightly as he pulls out so he can slide in with little to no resistance. Regardless of Joon fucking you this morning, you still always manage to snap right back in place. No matter how many times they’ve fucked you over the years, you always fit around Taehyung’s cock like a glove...always.

Tae is the youngest and he was also the least experienced when you all met, and by that I mean he was one of those college kids that didn't know any better, Simply because none of his prior partners ever took the time to..properly make their needs known...that is until he met you one Thursday night…

So you often found this strong sense of pride at the way he fucks you now...no instruction truly needed. He could get you off with his eyes closed at this point.  You just no he gets off on it...gets off on being your good boy, and he always is.

Your loud now, and Tae’s leaking so much precome into his pants it’s unreal. Rocking your hips even harder up and down, you can physically hear how wet you are, without a doubt leaking onto the desk! You already close, closer than you wanna be before is cocks splitting you in half.

“Fuck stop!”

The smirk that tugs along those lips was something lethal, gaze dark, a low hum ringing in the back of his throat as he raked over your form. How ragged your breath is...how hard your thighs are tensing around him…..

“Why?’ Head cocked to the side as he sticks his tongue out wetting those pouty lips of his. “Can’t handle coming 3 times today?” The arch in his brow is taunting and you can’t even lie, there's something really sexy about how confident he’s gotten over the years “ Don’t wanna come until I’m balls deep inside you” The question coming off more as a statement, gaze daring you to tell him anything different.

Your breath hitched, every vein in your body felt like it was on fire as he pulled you into a kiss. ,deep, rough and messy while you clench down around his fingers. Ripping every once of bravado he had to shreds...within seconds, once you trapped him between your heat, cock twitching on command.

“Now. Fuck me” You breath out, eyes locked with his as you slide his fingers free, lacing your tongue around the. Slow deliberate strokes, humming around the taste of both your and Namjoon’s arousal coating your tongue and Taehyung looks fucking wrecked! You allow him to slide in knuckle deep until he hits the back of your throat, and he can’t help but moan at how easily you take him.

“Come onnn Tae, fuck meee” A low whine hanging off your tongue as you guide his fingers back down your body hovering over your clit again…. “I need your cock baby”

“Fuck, yeah okay...I’ll fill you up baby” Stepping back just enough to unzip his pants and much to know ones surprise he’s rock hard, standing straight up, the tip painfully pink it almost looks as though you can physically see him throbbing. An obscene amount of Precum’s leaking down his shaft as he grazes his thumb over his slit. Hissing at the contact, Tae’s so hard it literally hurts at this point , balls tight against the base of his shaft.

Mouthwatering shamelessly at the sight as he grips his cock and smacks it along your clit a couple of times. Just to hear your juices slick all over the place, literally sounding as if he just splashed his palm in water!

He leans down and kisses your neck until you grab him by the hair to turn his cheek, to kiss him, deep and hard, making him taste Namjoon’s come on your tongue. You grind your hips forward letting his cock graze your clit until he's groaning low and desperate against your tongue. Hiking your legs up around his waist, digging his nails into the swell of your ass. Pressing your heels into the small of his back to pull his hips even closer!

“You sound so fucking good like this, so fuckin ready to fuck me huh baby?” Tae practically growls when he answers you, he technically responds “yes” first in Korean which is...rare, typically only happens when he’s overwhelmed and clearly…

“Yeah, yes, fuck I want it, need you baby please .” Grounding his hips even harder until he has your eyes rolling to the back of your head, fuck this boy is going to be the death of you. The pout on his lips is a stark contrast to how thick, and hard his cock is as it rubs against your clit…

Letting your fingers roam through his hair, landing on the back of his neck “Fuck me…”

He doesn't even bother lubing up his cock he doesn't need it , he just shifts his hips slightly to angle you upwards and slowly sinks his cock inside, breathing out deeply through flared nostrils as he does…

“Fuckkkk” Leaves both of your lips in unison once he breaches your entrance. Heat instantly pooling in the pit of your stomach as he starts to stretch you open. His eyes stay on yours the entire time, though hooded and unfocused they never waiver! Panting out hot and heavy against each others tongues, as you try to adjust to the stretch...

You can both not only hear but feel Namjoons come overflowing the deeper he gets! You can feel his arms starting to shake from how overwhelmed he is from all the pressure building around him.

Leaning up to whisper a combination of praise and absolute filth in your baby’s ear until your ripping the neediest moans and groans from his throat.

Dropping his head to leave a trail of open-mouthed kisses up the side of your neck, along his jaw, nipping at the diamond hoop in your ear.

There’s no edging his way in either,Taehyung is sliding all the way home. Not stopping until your filled to the brim. Continually whispering praise after praise into his ear which already has him throbbing on impact. Squeezing your ass even tighter, nosing up your cheek until you bring your lips flush to his, sliding in tongue first, need overtaking finesse at this point but neither of you cared!

He starts to move and you dig your nails into his ass, hard enough to make him groan even through the leather!

“Don’t, move yet….be a good boy for me, and stay still... “ He grunts and damn near has a temper tantrum but he obliged….”Stay still pretty, you can do that for me can’t you?”

Right as he's about to speak he finds himself choking around a moan as you purposely clench around him .

“Fuck, baby your pussy feels..Goddamn Yn” He almost sounds awed as if to say after all these years it’s kinda crazy that you still have this kinda affect on him! He lets out a low hum when you do it again, Taehyung is hot to the touch at this point “Fuck, tell me” his tone takes on an almost demanding tenor which only makes your toes curl against the sole of your Louboutins!

“Tell you what Tae?” Tone somewhat teasing until you take in the look of almost desperation within those big brown eyes of his, “That you're my baby? My good boy? The best boy?” Eyes fluttering shut briefly, a low hum ringing in the back of his throat “That your cook feels so fuckin good even when your not doing anything? Or how good you're being for me no matter how bad I know you wanna move.”

Fingers gently caressing the back of his neck “What do you wanna know baby?” In contrast to Tae’s your voice drops down to a whisper,nothing but fondness and affection dripping off your tongue. You can sense something’s wrong more than just him being horny. Yeah he had a praise kink but this feels different as if he NEEDS the validation outside of just sex. “Or…” reaching you to take a delicate, somewhat intimate hold on his jaw, temporarily shifting the mood. “Tell you how much I love you? Because I really fuckin do Tae…”  His breath hitches in his throat, you feel his cock twitch and his heart hammer against his chest at the admission “Soo much baby…”

“I love you” The words ramble off his tongue repeatedly almost as if he can’t stop...

Leaning down to nip at your bottom lip “Keeping my cock, nice and warm…..squeezing me soo good baby…” Leaning down to suck on the hinge of your jaw. “I just-I wanna make you come so bad, wanna fill you up with even more come until your just dripping with it. “ Tae’s voice dropped to an octave you haven't heard in lord known when, instantly reminding you that you created a fucking monster…..you know what he’s doing though. Since you won;t let him move he’s trying to get you worked up enough that you don’t have a choice.

This time when you clenched around him it was involuntary and so was the needy ass moan that ripped from your throat

His skin is flushed...eyes begging you to let him fuck you “You get me soo hard, I don't even understand how you could even expect, me to wanna go out and find someone else after I’ve been wrapped around you for so many years. Yn fuck-” Eyes rolling to the back of his head mid-sentence, the tighter you suck him in, he’s overwhelmed and just rambling at this point but you know what he’s referring too...

Meaning, even though you essentially operate as a closed triad as long as there’s open and honest lines commutation. The boys aren’t technically tied to Namjoon and yourself...yet outside of maybe a little drunken grind and make out session in the clubs...or something….at least over the past 2 years none of you have strayed...None of you have ever wanted too..more than content with what you have...

You reach up, placing your fingers in front of his mouth ‘Spit' ' He does with zero hesitation, as you bring your hand down to work your clit…The second you make contact you start pulsing around him even harder...and now Tae’s squirming on top of you. It’s becoming way too much he’s going to fuck around and come before he even gets to move

“Baby please, I can’t- I need-”

“Fuck me then!” Voice gently yet commanding

“Oh thank fuckk” Taehyung almost shouts as he thrust into you, hard and fast, almost knocking your head into the raised back of the desk! Snapping his hips forward with purpose, clearly well aware that the two of you don’t have much time.

He leans down to kiss every exposed piece of skin he can reach, your neck, shoulder, collarbone, before making his way up to your lips, sucking his tongue into your mouth. “Fuck, I can still taste you, both of you!” He kisses you through each thrust, hard, and opened mouth, panting out against your tongue, as you rake your nails down his back. Pulling out almost completely only to thrust in hard enough to have your thighs weakening. Practically dropping from his waist until he reaches under resecurring them in place.

“Yes, fuckk yess..” Each roll of his hips is sharp, precise, hitting every spot you need to have your eyes having a continuous meeting with the back of your head!

“Taeaahyung fu-” Pulling apart, drifting your eyes to where his cock is flushed, and sliding all the way out only to slam back in…Blurring the lines of where you start and he ends..."Look at how good your fucking me….always such a good boy for me yeah?”

Your winded...and your thighs are shaking, eyes heavy as all hell, but the moan that slips past his lips at the praise is more than worth it. You swear you feel his cock get even harder actually. You rock back, tensing your muscles around him, ripping a low groan of your name off his tongue before he actually responds.

“Yeah I’m good...so fuckin good for you baby!” You can feel his breath get lodged in his throat as he speaks, shifting your hips so they are raised a little higher. The moan that rips from your throat as you arch off the desk has him fucking into you even harder. Addicted to all the sinful sounds he knows he’s the only one responsible for right now...  “You take me so well, sound so fucking pretty for me…” Dragging his bottom lip along his teeth!

“Fuck me harder, I know you wanna...you know I can take it! Use me baby, fuck meeeee”

He groans, leaning down to pull you into a messy kiss as he pulls out and snaps forward making you almost scream, head pulling back in a stifled gasp as he picks up his pace, grounding his hips and steadying his rhythm. Brining your hand back down to work your clit, knowing your close, but you still need a little more.

“Fuck you look soo good getting yourself off like that….”

You let your eyes flutter open, a menacing smirk playing on your lips as you remove your hand from your clit. Sucking your fingers into your mouth as you fuck into him even harder. Lathering them with an unnecessary amount of spit, as if you weren't already dripping all over the place.

“You like watching me get myself off for you?” Bring one hand up to massage your nipples through the thin fabric of the dress while the other comes down to graze your clit. Locking your eyes with his as rub yourself, harder, faster, clearly with a purpose this time around. Eyes growing heavy as you moan out, rocking upwards to meet his thrust but never once breaking eye contact.

Tae, moans even louder at that, especially once you start fucking into him with the same amount of forces he's giving you “Yeah, baby fuck me...fuck me” Biting his lip, grunting and groaning through clenched teeth once he feels you start to tighten around his cock which has been throbbing this entire time!

Tae, braces your legs on either side of his shoulder, angling your hips even higher as they roll into you, deep and fast. The sound of skin slapping, Tae, grunting, and you moaning bouncing off every surface. Turning his head to the side to kiss at your ankles...teeth gently grazing along the strap of your heels, as he rolls his hips even deeper, head luling onto his shoulders.

You whine low and breathy as you click the backs of your heels together behind his head. Pressing the back of your thighs flush to his chest to bring him even closer. Those big, extremely sexy hands of his grip your waist, even tighter gripped your waist trying to pull you even closer. Ass flush with his hips at every stroke, the intoxicating feeling of the deep drag and stretch of his cock deep inside you had Tae’s toes curling against his Saint Laurent boots.

“God why do you look this fuckin hot!?” He actually sounds upset to be honest, and you can't help but laugh no matter how hard it is to breathe right now. Your thighs are practically vibrating on either side of his head.

“Fucking me open with your cock…like it was made for me...made to make me come-” Stopping mid-sentence not by choice just because fuck you couldn't breathe he was deep at this angle “Fuck and your gonna make me come too, keep fucking me Tae- just….fuck!”

“I was baby,fucking you just how you taught me…” He whimpers and moans even louder eyes fighting to stay open and maintain eye contact. Something about the way he said that “The way you taught me...” Was exactly what you needed to let go!

“Taeeee” you whine “I’m going to fuckin come harder.. Fuck please!!” Throwing your head back against the desk, knocking against what feels like a stapler but you can’t be bothered to care by how good he feels right now. Your gasping, breathless, and more importantly now your the one that sounds needy and there's nothing sexier than that to Taehyung.

Leaning up to grip him by the back of his neck and he leans into it. Basically folding you in half, he can feel how hard your starting to squeeze him, and he damn near chokes on his own words. “Yeah, yeah, just like that , come for me, come for your baby...”  

He gasping and whimpering right over you, jaw slack but not fully able to really kiss you back right now, so you decided to toy his bottom lip around your tongue. “Harder,harder” You instruct low and breathy tight into his mouth. “Fuckkk”

You clench your muscles around him as hard as you can, moaning loud and unfiltered until your coming, hard. Your spazzing and coming all over his cock and it’s actually almost pailful at this point.

“Yes, fuck baby ..your so good, soo perfect... ” You can feel that he needed this ,not just physically, just everything, about him in this moment screams how bad he needs this! There's no way he's coming no matter how close until you do, until you milk him through it!

You swear for a minute your heads spinning, fuzzy and lightheaded, ears burning as he rips you apart nerve by nerve...like he said...Just how you taught him! It takes a minute a good minute for you to pull you shit together and fuck if it dosent do wonders for you baby’s ego!

You whimper directly against his lips, gaze heavy, still completely fucked out “Such a good boy, you’re doing so good, come for me baby…” His thrust are becoming sporadic and out of rhythm because you don't stop stroking your clit, so your still spazzing around him, your still coming! You've always been one for over stimulation, I mean fuck you have 6 lovers for fucks sake how could you not. Your coming, moaning,painting and it’s ripping Tae’s orgasm straight from his body whether he was ready for it or not!

Taehyung cries and you can feel is cock twitch one more time before hes coming, snapping his hps forward, and stalling in place as you clench down around him! moaning louder and louder, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Tae collapses forward once he’s finished, so spent and you pull him closer, encouraging him to rest on top of you no matter how heavy he truly is.

“So good,” you whisper “Always such a good boy for me…”  He leans down, completely blissed eyes heavy, and kisses you slow...intimate...hands gently stoking up and down your thighs as the two of you breathe as one… realizing this isn't really the time or place for this but you need amount to fully come down!! “I love you…” Slurs off your tone completely spent, and you feel him smile against your lips.

“ I Love you” A moan starts on his tongue and ends on the top of yours as he slides out, you can feel the come leaking onto the desk. Before you can even process what’s happening you see Tae drop down to his knees...bracing your thighs on either side of his head. Scooping up as much of the overflow as he can pushing, his fingers in knuckle deep curling upwards in the process...Thighs threatening to clench around his head in over secretive as a low whine hisses from your lips!

“Oh my god” Fingers seamlessly found there place in his soft, slight damp locks, tugging on his scalp relentlessly as you rolled your hips into his tongue. Though you really should be running away from the sensation but fuck, you can;t help it! Low breathy whines and moans fell from your lips the harder he sucked your clit between his lips, moaning out as all of your arousal's coat his tongue. Your clit is still rock hard and your literally a second away from coming all over again...that is,,until he slides in 3 fingers deep and apparently where Taehyung is concerned you don’t even have a refraction time because...

“Tae-baby- fuckkkk”  Back coming to a complete arch as you came with a silent cry, you were panting so hard you almost felt like you were about to pass out. Taehyung’s tongue was still relentless, causing you to jerk and twitch away from him, trying to edge your way up the bed but it was no use..you were already crowning the headboard.

“Please, fuck - I can’t , I can’t …” Thankfully it seems as though he agreed, maybe it’s because your thighs wouldn’t stop spazzing and you soiled the spot right beneath your ass you were so wet! Kissing, licking, sucking a path from your clit, up your stomach, sliding your dress back into place, before his face was finally flush to yours. Sliding his tongue into your mouth without warning, kissing you deep and messy,letting you taste a combination of Tae, Joon and yourself thoroughly as you licked the excess coming from the corners of his lips causing you both to moan. Hands soothing up your trembling thighs trying to sooth you but it was no use..you were a mess!

Taehyung could feel them vibrating against his palm. Smiling smugly against your lips, clearly pleased with the sudden state your in . Locking your thighs around his waist, bracing his hands beneath for support because he can feel how pliant your entire body is beneath him.

“Wrap your arms around my neck” Whispered against your lips as he kissed you again while shifting off the desk, gripping your bag, and leading the two of you down the hall into your office. Voice sitting even husker now than it did initially....eyes still comptely blown out

Laying you gently on the leather chaise against the wall and you can’t help but smile up at him with nothing but fondness. Remembering those days when your baby boy was still lost in that fuck boy phase and thought after care was not kicking his partner out after! Now you watch as he slowly spreads your thighs apart. Cleaning you gently with a couple baby wipes kissing every inch of skin he touches in the process before doing the same to himself.Tucking his spent cock back into his leather pants with a slight hiss due to oversensitiveness…

“Thank you baby…” Taking his hand in your kissing along his knuckles “Fuck Tae, you were in a mood this morning...holyshit” An exhausted chuckle leaves your lips as you settle into the cushions, your thighs were literally still humming.

“Aye gotta make a lasting impression before you go meet my replacement right??” He tried to laugh it off, but not only did his “smile” not even remotely reach his eyes...you could hear light tremor laced within his delivery that he tried to mask by said laugh!

Brows scrunching to the middle of your face immediately because...WHAT!?

“Speaking of, you and Yoongi have that 2:30 interview with Jungkook. So you might wanna dip out and shower first, you just might still end up feeling kinda sticky, between me and Joonie there’s just..fuck..”

To be honest, everything kinda melted into a blur and it almost seemed as though you really weren’t listening because all you kept thinking about is him saying you were going to meet his “Replacement…”

“I mean even with a pantyl-”

“What?!” You honestly did not mean for your response to come out as snappy as it did but again… WHAT!?

“I said you might wanna-“

“That’s, what this was about?!” Brows furrowed in the center of your face in confusion more than anything because what the fuck Tae! “First off, he was your idea, but if he makes you uncomfortable for any reason we don’t have to interview him! You have to work with him too baby, I don't want-” You know your deliveries off so you find yourself reaching up to gently caress his jaw, which is a stark contrast to your tone at the moment!

“No, no” Flagging his hand in the air dismissively “ I want you to, he seems  like a good kid and like he knows his shit Yoongi needs..no he deserves that..he already does so much!” Nervously raking his hands down the nonexistent wrinkles on his black silk dress shirt. “I don’t know baby, ignore me I’m just being stupid …”

He gets up with a box of Clorox whips and sprays heading back to the lobby so you opt to follow, no matter how much your thighs are literally screaming at you the entire time! Well aware that the desk without a doubt needs to be toughly whipped down with the next half hour before production starts trickling in! Kicking up the air as well to get the humidity out of the atmosphere, thankfully space had an open enough floor plan that, the typical sex smell That may clog up a bedroom wasn’t as potent…

Without even sparing you a second glance he starts spraying down the desk, whipping the surface diligently, actually somewhat aggressively which let you know he felt a way about this. Nobody's jaw just twitches while they clean..he was annoyed…

“Ugh no.” Reaching out to grasp his wrist halting his movements, and now it was clear he was adverting your gaze, eyes locking on a fucking paperclip to his right… “ I will not ignore you and your feelings are valid, always, even if I don’t quite understand them.” Exchanging his wrist for his jaw, gripping it firm enough to firm him to make eye contact and there's nothing subtle about how glazed over they were…

“Baby…” Cooed off your lips as you stoked his face you watched his nose twitch as he tried desperately not to cry, so you leaned down... Placing a lingering yet innocent kiss along his lips. No ulterior motive just hoping it gave him some sort of comfort…. Feeling the way he just melted into you...yet the tension stayed evident within his body…”Talk to me Tae..please..:”

He didn’t pull away fully, resting his forehead flush to yours “I don’t know... I just-”

The two of you pull apart the minute you hear the faint ding of the elevator, eyes instantly scanning the camera to see it’s nobody but Joon. Starbucks, and Mcdonalds in hand, clumsily trying to type in the code so Taehyung decides to be the one to break apart and help him out. More so because he just really didn’t want to get into this right now….never has he been so thankful that Namjoon’s early! 

Heading for the door to help your husband lord knows how clumsy he is the last thing we need is coffee all over your freshly polished floors. Looking fine as ever....sometimes you really don’t understand how the fuck you go so damn lucky! Wind swept freshly dyed ice blonde locks, all black slacks and fitted blazer... 

He smiles down at Tae, who tilts his chin upward, silently asking, and Namjoon already knows...placing a kiss along his lips that started out innocent... Until he caught a taste of something lingering on Taehyung’s tongue, which rips a deep groan from the back of his throat. The second his tongue breaches the seam of his lips, his entire body freezes, feeling the almost violent manner in which the younger was shaking against his frame had Namjoon pulling back instantly...Searching your eyes for some sort of clarity as to why Tae looks like he’s about to cry. Or why he holding onto his blazer for dear life....

‘Baby??” Namjoon’s tone is tentative, scared...uneasy.and honestly, you aren't sure which one of you he’s addressing so you speak up.

“It seems as though Tae is feeling a type of way about us possibly hiring Jeon…” You're cautious of your tone, keeping it light, concerned but not accusatory because you really don’t know what’s going on honestly! Watching your husband’s brows furrow having no idea who the hell you’re referring to.. And it rips a snort from your lips and a wet chuckle form Tae’s as he gently whips his eyes...trying to catch the stray tears that have betrayed him and slipped out…

“The kid who just graduated from USC...the production major Yoongi and Yn are interviewing today...and it’s not that I feel a type of way I just..”

“Tae, your crying…” He almost sounds heartbroken even repeating the words and your stomach drops as you take in the two men you love to death. At a loss as to what has Taehyung so uneasy that he’s crying. And why it hindsight it seems now, felt the need to fuck you before your interview so you wouldn’t’ “Forget” him. How the fuck could you ever forget him!? He’s never been one to be insecure...ever!

“You don’t just cry for shits and giggles...baby....” Tae turns his head but the light catches the glaze in his eyes, and how hard his jaw twitches int he process..

“Aye” Namjoon’s tone just says “Look at me” not even leaving it up for debate and he dose...regardless of how bad he wan’t to doesn't even think about it. 

“ Just because you’re not listed under CEO dose not mean your opinions and concerns as far as who we bring into this company aren’t valid. You know this…before we had this big fancy building and all these employees it was just the 7 of us...don’t think we’d ever forget that” 

Eyes flickering around the room slightly, upon seeing the mess onto of the desk and he kinda puts two and two together… “What were you doin before I came in??” Voice low, tentative...comforting…bringing his gaze down to the cleaning supplies in hand.

“Ugh, cleaning the desk…” His voice breaks at the end, and he won’t even look at the two of you….”

“Kay, how about I finish cleaning the desk, and you go talk to Joon, and I’ll be in there in like 5 ...Okay?” Swaying over in his direction, taking the box of wipes, and spray from his hand before placing a kiss to the side of his head. Pulling back to do the same to your husband…whose eyes are desperately looking to yours for some form of directions that you, unfortunately, can’t give right now!

Taehyung just nodds, snuffling a couple more times as he fiddles nervously with the collection of rings dancing along his fingers. Many of which are gifts from his 6 favorite people at this point…..

Namjoon walks over and places the bags and tray of drinks on the glass table in the center of the room..wiggling his fingers in the younger’s direction.

“Come talk to me Tae, Tae..” 

That’s all she wrote for now, I feel like there's a lot of DOM Tae FF’s which I love, however when I look past “V” and meet the two in the middle I don’t get straight dom vibes..lol sorry not sorry..but either way it’s all for fun and I hope you all enjoyed. Part 1 is attached, it's Joon X OC with Tae coming in at the end…NOTE this is not only a Tae centered AU....

MASTERLIST

#taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung #kim taehyung smut #kim taehyung x reader #bts #bts smut #bts x reader #bts au #kim taehyung au #kpop smut #kpop au #namjoon #namjoon au

[herstarburststories]

Treacherous

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader

Summary: You finally fall for Demon!Dean's charm and give yourself to him.

Warnings: oral sex (male receiving), language, smasgt.

You grimaced when your feet touched the cold ground of your bedroom, although it was still strange to think about that place as such. After all, it had been years sleeping and not sleeping in a room shared with Dean. To glare at the walls and not to find any rock bands posters or accidentally trip on one of his adult magazines was at the bare minimum. But then, there was nothing you could do about that. Accepting a demon version of your boyfriend’s invitation to stay in your and Dean’s old room was completely out of limits.

Dean, or his demon self, as you needed to remind yourself more than you’d like to admit, was living in the bunker again after an unsuccessful attempt of curing him. Castiel had said that maybe the cure didn’t work out as all of you intended, but it could’ve somehow reminded him of humanly emotions in a deeper sense. 

Cas had been resting in the bunker more than usual just to make sure that you and Sam were safe. When he wasn’t there, the angel would be busy looking for another way to cure the eldest Winchester. You and Sam had been searching as much as possible, outside of Dean’s protests against it.

‘’Personally, I like the disease. Come on, guys. I’m still me, just better,” he had said right before he started looking for a new case.

Shaking your head, you rose up from the bed. The clock appointed two in the AM, reporting your obvious insomnia. A sigh escaped from your lips as you walked out the door, silently pacing towards the kitchen. Perhaps a cup of water would help. If you were lucky, the chocolate bar you had left in the fridge would be there still.

The frosty breeze from the refrigerator on your face was near to a midnight relief, which caused you to smile softly. Its light was your only company while you looked for the forgotten chocolate bar, until a deep voice spoke: ‘’You have been avoiding me, sweetheart.’’ 

You turned around with a swift move, mildly surprised by his sudden presence. Dean smirked at you, half of his face concealed by the darkness that the refrigerator light couldn’t reach.

You huffed. ‘’It’s two in the morning, and I just came to get some water, Dean. Let’s not start it.’’

‘’But I wanna start it, (Y/N). Come on, it’s been days.’’ Out of nowhere, he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, the blackish shadows enveloping both of you. You gasped, placing your hands on his chest to separate you two.

‘’Let me go!’’ You groaned at Dean, pushing him away, but it didn’t have any effect. If anything, he only pulled you closer. You couldn't see anything in the dark. Yet, it wasn’t quite necessary. His breath hitting your cheek was warning enough of how close he was.

‘’I get it, (Y/N). You miss the good ol’ Dean, but he is gone for good, sweetheart. I’m all that’s left. Don’t you miss me enough to want me like this?’’

Before your answer, he held you. Pressing his body to yours, you felt his semi erect cock against you. You pursed your lips together in an attempt to keep the clear pleasure of feeling his body to yourself. You didn’t need to give him such satisfaction. Besides, he wasn’t your Dean.

He wasn’t your Dean, you had to remind yourself. What was pretty complicated considering how close you were, and how many wonderful memories were attached to similar situations.

‘’What? Cat got your tongue?’’ Dean smirked, moving his hips against yours. A weak moan left your lips. He grinned, leaning him to lick your neck with no scruples. ‘’Or demon did?’’ Although his voice remained harsh and deadly sexy, even his tune had changed. The way he laughed was treacherous, like everything about a demon was supposed to be. You should be scared. You should be mad. You should be anything but attracted to what once was your loving Dean. People didn’t see a demon and fantasize about getting in bed with them. They ran away and started searching for a religious solution to protect them. Right now, it seemed like you were praying to stay with the devil.

Deep down, it was him. There was a fragile, tiny voice in your mind that insisted for you to believe that. He was still your Dean, damaged as fuck, but the man you had loved for years. All your rationality told you to run away, to push him, scream at him until Sam woke up, just so you wouldn’t have a way near Dean again. You had been doing it with ease for three days, but it was only getting harder.

And this Dean made sure that your self control wasn’t the only thing getting harder. His clothed boner was still pressed against you. It grew more excited as he bit your neck, right on the sweet spot where most of his marks were left behind before.

You sniffled softly, which could be easily misunderstood by a low moan. He felt like your Dean. He looked like your Dean. He had your Dean’s memories. But he didn’t laugh like your Dean. He didn’t touch you like him, either. He was more assertive, certainly rougher. Even his mouth on your neck right now showed that. Still, he was too close. After months. He was here. Not quite the Dean you cried endless tears for, but it was enough for tonight.

You needed it. You needed Dean Winchester in whatever shape he would come. No one could point fingers at you for that; they didn’t know what it was like. He could not be your Dean, but he could love you like he did. And if that wasn't possible, he could fuck you like Dean used to.

Unseen tears rolled on your cheeks as you pushed him to the wall. You didn’t dare to make any further noise. It took Dean a second to understand what was going on, but an ill-natured smirk conquered his features when he did. He surely as hell had a good amount of memories on how you enjoyed sucking him off back then, as much as he loved eating you out for records. Your knees met your ground like a prayer’s would, but you weren’t looking for forgiveness. Pretty the opposite, you jumped right in the sin. There was no one, not even a higher power that could stop or help you now. You had crossed the line as you unzipped his pants and got rid of his jeans as fast as possible. 

‘’You have no idea how much I missed your mouth, sweetheart.’’

When your lips touched the tip of his hardness, you didn’t feel any relief. It wasn’t a matter of just wanting to have sex with him. It was a necessity. Much like an addict getting another dose of the drug, there was no heavenly, rose-colored feeling. It was just a fulfilment of a need. You needed him, and who could blame you for that? After all you had been through, after fighting every instinct in your body to keep a safe distance, after seeing him die and come back only to lose him again. Maybe the Winchester was your perdition, like many people had told you before in a futile attempt to give friendly advice. Maybe you had achieved the limit or love had ultimately made you crazy.

Your body was shaking in abstinence as you finally put his trembling cock inside your mouth, not taking time to lick the drop of precum like you usually did to tease Dean before doing what he wished. His eyes were closed, head resting against the wall as he bit his lower lip. His precum was being cleaned up by your experienced tongue moving around his length. Your hand grabbed what wasn’t in your mouth yet, moving it up and down to make him more excited.

‘’Fuck, (Y/N). Do it, get all of me in that pretty little mouth of yours. You always loved it, didn’t you?’’ Dean’s groans were an evident desire for you to give him more, but, on your knees, it seemed like you were the one begging. Begging him to stay, to love you, to give you anything to hold on to. And if sex in the kitchen while Sam was sleeping and Castiel was doing an angelic version of rest was it, then so fucking be it. 

You coughed a bit as you got more of his dick in your mouth, until your hand was completely replaced. You moaned against his cock when it hit the back of your throat. It only incentivized him even more. Dean’s hand finally found your hair, his fingers running through the (Y/H/C) sea as he asserted the rhythm. As you expected, he was fast, rough. Just what you needed.

After everything that happened to him, since the mark of Cain to his resurrection into a demon, you had been broken. And all your tiny, little pieces together were looking for him. Now, your mind was long gone, and all you knew was Dean Winchester. He was there. He was alive. He was with you again.

You sucked his cock, trying to follow his lead as much as you could without choking. Your tongue swirling around, up, and down his length. The grip on your hair tighter as he increased the pace, searching for his climax. Your pussy was a wet mess since you got on the ground for him, but you allowed your hand to slip into your panties and rub your clit as your mouth was fucked by Dean. 

‘’Fuck, (Y/N). I’m coming. Will you be my good girl and swallow all of it?’’ Dean continued moving your head and his hips violently, your fingers caressing yourself as his cock bumped your throat carelessly. He was almost there, and so were you.

Your name left his lips in the form of a loud howl. It almost didn’t sound human. Well, it could always be the demon in him. His semen invaded your mouth as soon as your hands got dirty with your own climax, and all in your head was him, his name, the feeling that always accompanished his touches. You couldn't help but want him to keep close to you, a vivid reminder that he was there. He pulled away from you, and you almost whined, wanting to crawl closer to him. Fortunately, Dean didn’t plan on being apart from you for more than a few seconds, soon leaning forward to grab your jaw. The perfect angle for the refrigerator light to brighten his face. He looked at you through his lashes, indigo eyes dark with desire.

‘’Swallow all of it, (Y/N),” he commanded, as if you weren’t gonna do it anyway. You simply nodded, swallowing every single drop of his cum. That orgasm, though, didn’t feel as much like liberation as it should’ve. It felt like falling from grace. A sweet, tasty fall, but still. ‘’Open your mouth, let me see if you did as I told you. You always loved being my spicy, stubborn girl.’’ Dean pressed your jaw with his fingers. You opened your mouth for him, sticking your tongue out, only to gain a satisfied smile from the currently green-eyed man. ‘’What do we have here?’’ He grabbed your hand and pulled it closer to his lips, vivid eyes glaring at you as if he had caught a little kid doing something wrong. ‘’You were touching yourself, sweetheart? And came just from it and sucking me? How dirty.’’ Dangerously soft laughter echoed from his body but was soon ended when he licked your fingers, enjoying your taste. How he had missed you. ‘’Delicious, as always. You know what’s better? All of it just for me.’’

The refrigerator noises made the anthem for the moment you had sure you had lost your mind. What was done was done. Whatever it took, you couldn't lose him. Not again. You needed him.

#dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester imagines #dean winchester headcanon #dean winchester x you #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x reader smut #demon!dean imagine #demon!dean #demon!dean x reader #deamon x reader #deamon #supernatural imagines #supernatural headcanons #supernatural headcanon #supernatural #supernatural x reader #dean winchester spn #spn fanfic #spn reader insert #spn fanfiction #spn #spn imagine

[gwydionmisha]

My Vaccination Saga

Short version?  I got my first Pfizer shot.  Second is already scheduled.  If you X out the chronic stuff, the actual side effects were mild, it's just adding extra to a pile of Jesus Fuck I've been dealing with a weekish. Second dose will likely suck a lot more, judging from Squirrel and lots of vaccine related news coverage, but it is nothing next to getting covid, and I would gladly take Vaccine side effects rather than the AS and CF stuff I deal with every day.  Trust me.

So get the damned shot, whatever shot when they offer it.  (The ones that aren't working so well as not in the US.  Seriously, just get the shot when your number comes up. I'd have taken whatever they gave me).  And don't be That Lady.  Be nice to your provider because they are working their asses off to try to save your life.

I've been having a severe pain incident for a little over a week, along with a bunch of the other things that periodically got wrong with my body, plus the thing I really am going to need to see a doctor about but we didn't have tet results until late Friday.  This happens.  To give you an idea, on Friday and Sunday I was playing a particularly painful game of leg roulette every time I stood up.  (That's the thing where you get so much pain that the legs don't really work properly and occasionally close.  It makes bathroom trips extra exciting, as you can imagine.

At my level of chronic pain, anything I do hurts.  Standing, sitting, lying down, moving, not moving.  There's a baseline level of pain, the bits that really hurt, and a constant juggling act awake or asleep to keep shifting the really bad pain around so one spot doesn't get too bad for too long, because level ten pain mean it can literally take hours to move just enough to get an emergency pain pill that is less than afoot away from the closest arm.

I am not being dramatic.  I am someone who must think through even small tasks in advance because literally everything is measured in where the pain is going to spike and how much. So the past week has been a nightmare even by my standards.

I went to the vaccine appointment, knowing how much painful standing there usually is for screening, check in etc..  I went in knowing "muscle aches" is a common side effect.  I went in even though my legs tried to give out in the parking lot.

I am explaining this so you know where my baseline was before the shot.

The process itself was shockingly smooth.  There wasn't even a screening line because they had four people on it.  Seriously, I was impressed as hell with the level of streamlined and staffing.  One door screener.  One greeter downstairs to send medical patients through to the other waiting room and hand vaccine folk their paperwork and clipboard.  Two dedicated check in people who also gave you the second shot appointment right then.  Three actual vaccine stations with two staff each, plus a lady watching people for bad reactions in a socially distance waiting area.  They stuck an erasable thingie to the pole on the back of each chair with the time you are allowed to leave.

Staff had all been second shot before end of January, so having so many wasn't an issue.  Everyone properly masked, off course, bu you can't distance vaccination itself.  I felt pretty safe, except with the elevator.

There are a lot of stairs you see.  Stairs are dangerous for me at the best of time and on  leg roulette day with that many hard, sharp edged stairs?  That's begging to break something or tear something or get a head injury.  Going down is far more dangerous than up.

They have helpfully put little Social distance X marks on the carpet for people waiting to individually use the elevator.  (Yes, people together can go in together).  So doors open.  No one is inside.  Ideal!  I pop in.  Doors start closing and a lady starts cursing at me because I didn't hold the door.  She's insisting two per and cursing at me for being an asshole and I get a glimpse of her loosely masked face mask as it shuts.  It's barely over her nose and huge gaps at either side of the nose and at the sides.  I get it, standing up hurts, but even if I'd noticed her in time, I wouldn't have wanted to share the elevator with a badly masked stranger.

She's a bit rude to paperwork lady.  She's at the other check in while I'm doing mine and she throws a massive tantrum because they do not have all three vaccines on hand so she doesn't get to personally pick the one she  wants.  We're literally a month behind on vaccinations in this county because they have sent so few here, and I knew we were getting either Pfiser or Moderna because they tell you you will need a second shot when you make the first appointment.  Still, I would have happily taken whatever they gave me and was just thrilled we were getting Pfiser.  But she didn't want Pfiser and it was like if she thought she threw a tantrum they would teleport the one she wanted here at her command.  If she Karened hard enough and yelled high risk enough the nuse would pull a vial out of her ass just for her.  Yes she was old and frail and high risk and in pain.  Literally everyone there to get vaccinated to day had a super serious heart and/or lung condition, and I'd wager nearly all of us were in pain.  It did not stop me being polite and grateful and I am and have bin in the kind of pain they'd give you Demerol for in a hospital off and on all week.  It literal takes me three to four hours to make it out of bed right now.  (Yes, I'm still doing the physio routine, with long gaps between reps and the expansion reps knocked off which I am allowed to do.  To make that happen I have to do a lot of slow, super gentle passive stretching so the stabbed in the back sensation calms down enough for me to move my arms).

I spent 3-5 minutes sitting on the window ledge waiting to get jabbed, by which time the greeter and the check in people had just managed to convince her to stop yelling and sit down.  So no one else could get checked in and she basically tied up three people with her assholery.  Then one of them ad to go get a doctor to somehow make space in the schedule to talk her down.  so she wasted a check in person's time.  Poverty clinic schedules tight and works long days because they are always behind and they see everyone with an appointment even if it takes an extra hour or two.  It's not that doctor's time she's wasting, but at least two nurses and everyone who had an appointment after 10:15 or so with that Doctor who just got their appointment shoved back.

A get my jab.  I read my info sheet the rest of the way through and start on a short story.  My time's up and I am gimping to the elevator to leave, when I see one of them escorting her from the tantrum chair to the wait to get vaccinated area.  So she did get her jab, and I'm glad she did, but Jesus fuck was she an asshole to everyone she interacted with that I saw at the clinic that day, and they were so sweet and polite and patient with her.

I fucking love Poverty Clinic.  I've literally never had a better GP than the one I have right now there and the people are so wonderful and they've all worked like titans to keep people safe and alive this year and absolutely do NOT deserve this shit.  I bet it happens a lot.

I had cleverly saved some cash for take out because I knew I should eat because god knows what shape I'd be in later.  There are literally two edible to me fast foods between downtown and home, not counting Starbucks.  Only one has a drive thru and I don't go inside anywhere I don't have to because pandemic.  Assuming I don't get infected it was very much the correct choice.  I ate.  

Housing tax had just arrived, and I forced my self to write the check and mask back up to hobble it out to the mail slot and back.  I was exhausted when I left the house, but I know vaccine tired when I feel it and it descended on me like wet sand when I was almost to my door.  This mini-trip also was the correct decision.

I still needed to do the usual checklist of things and bathe.  Daily hydrotherapy is as essential as food at this stage in my deterioration.  I would have been fucked without the grab bars, but you could have said the same about Sunday.

I slept as long as I could.  The pain on waking was stunning. Thing is though?  I've been in pain since 1986.  Literally everyone I know know not counting two (2) family members, or who have not seen me really drunk have ever seen me when I wasn't in pain.  I know pain intimately.  I definitely know chronic pain vs flu or vaccine muscle ache.  Yes there is muscle ache in there and it does make it worse by like a pain level?  But if you removed everything chronic pain, this is nothing.  Minor shit I would happily trade for my baseline on a good day daily pain.  Sure the upper arm and especially the injection site hurt like a motherfucker if I touch it with my fingers and the left shoulder joint is up a pain level, but it's not even close to the right side shoulder joint on a good day.  And yeah, I'm tired, but it's not that much worse than, say Friday.  I did clock two tiny dizzy spells and I think my lungs are a little less clear than before the shot, but it's within what I consider my lung patient realm of normal and the only time I had trouble was when I had to scoop the litter box and that always fucks me up.

#Personal

[sera-cb]

My vaccine experience has been terrible and stressful and it’s put me in a really weird spot where I 100% believe everyone should get this thing if they’re at all able, but also am terrified to try again myself. Which I have to do, it turns out! Because even with this capitalism’s efforts to do things cheaply and as automated as possible has just absolutely fucked me apparently.

Like first off, I have a day job five days a week and every other weekend I am scheduled to do art streams, one for backers and one for comms, which both are typically needed to make ends meet.  Work won’t pay me to miss time for side effects, and I’m finding it very difficult to do these big-ass seven hour streams two weekends in a row on top of my usual work weeks, so finding the right time to get the first dose was a nightmare, but also

that nightmare began with like an hour wait inside of a Walgreens to see if the last appointment would show up or not, because “walk-ins open” is sort of only half true I guess, but largely because if they just gave it to me they’d need to open a new set of the things and they’d all go bad for my sake and that sucks.  Fine, I get it, but the dude didn’t show so they scheduled me for the next day.

Then, as I was walking away, the dude shows up, and the guy flags me down and goes “hey let’s do it now after all.”  Rad, I thought. Progress.

Another hour waiting in Walgreens.

I finally get the shot. She hands me some papers. I need to wait around for 15 minutes to be observed, they said. Alright, fine. I read the papers while I wait; the side effects of the shot possibly killing you are basically 1:1 with what happens to me during a panic attack. I’ve developed this weird history with needles where I get panic attacks or something adjacent with some weird and mildly random delay after getting any kind of shot.  Now I’m thinking about that and the room is spinning. I call my wife hoping she’ll talk me down. I get about two sentences into that call before I wake up to my phone ringing on the floor.  Nobody on staff notices.

Three hours after getting there, I hobble out of Walgreens. I’m basically wiped out for three days - even without the shot, the weird lightheaded shit I get from these pass-out sessions does some vile stuff to the rest of my body that lingers for a day or two sometimes.

I was advised that since I got the shot day-of after all I’d need to reschedule my appointment, though, and this led to problems.  Walgreen’s vaccine setup only does appointments in pairs; if you missed the first, you won’t get the second, and there was to our knowledge no way to do just the second, especially via their robo phone tree. Kaz deals with Walgreens all the time for her meds, so she knows how to get through the phone tree - it’s by being so hostile that I feel bad for the robot, for the record - but when asking if we could schedule just a second shot either they hung up on us or the line went dead.

I said “screw it, I’ll just show up in a few weeks,” but then I just never did, because I didn’t have a hard deadline to my knowledge and I was quite stressed out from the whole experience, but it turns out that the day I finally worked up the will to get the second dose? Where I had people willing to be there for me in case things went south again?

Three days after the six week deadline before the whole thing is moot, which nobody told me about.

So now I’m back to square one, barely able to work my will up for one more shot but staring down two, wondering if this means I now have the option to go somewhere else or if that counts as mixing vaccines, which even I know to be bad, and feeling incredibly lost and frustrated with the whole thing.

And the brutal truth is that none of these places have accommodations for Kaz that would allow her to get the damn shot anyway! She can’t stand around a Walgreens for hours. She could barely walk back to where the pharmacy even is, and all like two chairs back there are made for skinny little asses so she’d have nowhere to sit while her spine declares war on her. (And this is all ignoring that she basically can’t go out during daylight without a bunch of excess precaution since her antidepressants have rendered her some sort of vampire in the skin department, by which I mean the amount of time it takes for her to get sunburnt is less than the time it takes to walk to the car from the house.)

So I’d still need to act like I haven’t had the shot, because even though it’d stop me from getting sick, I could still bring something home and transmit it to her. Nothing about my life would change. I cannot go back to “normal.” At this rate, ever.

So on the one hand I’m with everyone going “hell yeah get your shot”

but on the other I am effectively one of the people who hasn’t, with someone else who hasn’t and seemingly can’t (I do not understand why we can’t just set up an appointment with her doctor, who does have accommodations, for this??? Why does it need to be some retailer pharma??), and the whole thing is both deeply frustrating, confusing in implementation, and leaving me feeling like a hopeless statistic that’s here just to frustrate everyone else.

Like, I’m probably never going to have a group of people over again? Game nights are gone. Socializing is gone. Web calls never replaced it, we’re not that important to anyone. Holidays are well dead. My family has tried to talk us into attending church for several things, including Christmas and Mother’s Day, and just doesn’t understand how not plausible that is. Kaz is high risk; I have been assured that if she gets COVID, she almost certainly will die. I can’t play fast and loose with this shit like everyone around me wants to. I’m forced to come into work every day as it is and still dread coming up the stairs and being forced to be within five feet of another person, none of whom have ever masked during this thing. If I thought there was a safer job available to me that wouldn’t leave us homeless, I’d take it in a heartbeat.

Sorry for the long post. I just feel so defeated by this whole mess and I keep seeing post after post saying anyone who doesn’t get the shot is an idiot, basically, and while I realize we’re outliers I feel terrible all the same.

[angstew]

How to have a baby during COVID-19 pt. 3-The induction of Oliver...

So here we are.  August 4th 2020.  In the midst of the pandemic.  I thought I was going in for my weekly stress test & OB appointment, and now I’m being told that I am being admitted.  That my blood pressure is dangerously high & this baby needs to come out.  As much research as I had done through the entire pregnancy, the birthing process was not something I had looked into very much.  Basically because it’s terrifying and I just didn’t even want to know.  So now, here I am kicking myself because I have absolutely no idea what to expect aside from an entire human being coming out of my body & HE wasn’t the one who was saying it was time....I called my fiance in tears, told him what was going on, begged the nurses to let him come up & so the adventure/dream/nightmare began...

I get up to the room, waiting for my fiance, and I’m starting to sweat.  All I’ve been told so far is to get into the hospital gown and wait for the doctor...They hooked me up to the fetal monitor, all the machines for my pressure & pulse, a DREADFUL COVID test and after an hour, finally got an IV into my bicep(the joys of being a recovering IV drug addict)  While waiting for the doctor I had a meltdown, I begged my fiance to just take me home, to let the baby come when he was ready, that I’d stay in bed & be careful, bawling my eyes out all crumpled up on the hospital bed.  Thank God for him truly, holding me tight, giving me the strength I needed right then & throughout the entire delivery, never leaving my side. Because we weren’t ready to stay, he had to run home, grab the bags & get the house in order while I sat in the bed with my mind really spinning... Okay, so fast forward a little, because this is a long, crazy ass story....So, doctors come in, let me know that yes I have preeclampsia, they absolutely should have caught it sooner but now we’re here & we gotta get this baby boy out ASAP but as gently as possible...so let the induction begin.  Now, because I’m in recovery, I chose to not take any kind of narcotics, and my fiance made sure to remind & ask every single nurse & doctor with every SINGLE medication that it couldn’t be a narcotic. My gift from God that gave me my mini gift from God. 

The first thing they gave me was IV magnesium, which I guess helps to keep seizures from occurring due to the preeclampsia getting worse, but gave me the worst migraines I’ve ever had, and because of the IV, I was given a catheter because I couldn’t get out of bed. So while that was flowing, the first thing they decided to try was some type of balloon thing, I’m sorry I don’t know any technical or medical terms because I was barely even there, let alone paying attention to names of things, the only thing I was thinking was “please get your fingers & tools & whatever else OUT of my lady parts...”.  So thanks to google, I guess this balloon thing is a catheter & the balloon gets filled with some solution that causes dilation...needless to say, it didn’t work...got me to about 2-3 cm and that was it.  So the next morning, it just wasn’t working any further, so the doctors wanted to try something else.  So they decided to start the pitocin.  For anyone who doesn’t know, pitocin is a hormone & it’s used to speed up the labor, and strengthens the contractions.  Basically, it SUCKS.  The contractions grew, as did the pain, but I wasn’t dilating fast enough.  But finally, at this point I was ready for some relief(non-narcotic of course. ha.)  I do have to say though, what they say about them is true.  I was petrified of getting a needle in my spine as I assume most people are, but the amount of pain I was in, and the relief it brought, it was well worth it.  Unfortunately, the next problem that arose was the fact that the epidural kept wearing off.  Yes, wearing off.  I had to push the button for more relief several times, and that was scary.  “What if that shit wears off while I’m pushing?  What if they can’t do anything or give me anymore after a certain point?” It was just frustrating that every few hours, the pain was excruciating again.  My poor & wonderful fiance held my hand the entire time, while I was squeezing him to death, begging him to fix it & to make everything better...I know there was nothing he could do, but just his presence, just his touch, and just saying the words out loud for some reason made me feel like he was fixing it!  Weird I know. 

 Anyway, so, even after having all these things done so far, I still wasn’t ready to push.  I don’t know what this boy was doing in there, but he had absolutely no intention of leaving my body.  Now to be fair, up until this appointment, I had been telling him that he wasn’t allowed to come any earlier than my due date because I was absolutely not ready, and he for sure heard me & took it very serious because he was NOT taking all the hints that it was time to vacate.  Okay, so its now the second day of labor, nothing is working, but I guess they decided I was dilated enough to break my water...oh goody.  I wasn’t sure exactly how they were going to do that, but after everything so far, I had a feeling it would be just as uncomfortable as everything else had been.  And I was correct!  They used a long hook looking tool & broke it, it wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t fun.  Again, maybe TMI, but I was not a fan of having a hand jammed in my body every half an hour for 2 days....Now, once again the epidural had worn off so because it had been continuing to wear off, the doctor was called & came back in to give me a second one...lucky me.  Now, I don’t know if the doctor gave me a stronger dose this time or if it didn’t go in the right way or what happened...I had the craziest rush, my vision was blurry & no bullshit, I passed out for like 2 hrs afterwards.  It was insane & actually kind of scary...I was going in & out of consciousness, the nurse was telling me to pay attention to how my body felt, in case it was time to start pushing(I guess if it feels like you have to poop it’s time) and I couldn’t talk or tell anyone what was going on because I was so out of it.  My fiance was getting all types of worked up & nervous, because I couldn’t even answer his questions if I was okay or not...it was wild, and I felt the poop-pushing feeling but couldn’t tell anyone before I passed out!!

So now, finally, it’s August 6th, around 6pm.  I finally woke up & I had the craziest urge to poop/push.  So FINALLY, it’s time to get this stubborn little peanut out!!  This part was actually the “easiest” part...sorta.  It was the only thing that went the way it was supposed to go.  Push hard = baby out.  It took me one hour, and that entire time was spent trying to get his round little head down the canal.  Once his head was down, the rest of him slid right out!  Now, I’m not sure if this is standard but WHY on earth do they not put something behind your back or have someone hold you up?!  I truly was out of breath & was at the point of giving up SOLEY because of the strain from having to sit up & push like that.  Because of COVID, I could only have one person in the room, which of course was my fiance, but he being the amazing man he is, called my mom on FaceTime so I had her support through the phone & my fiance was there holding my hand(and at the end, literally holding me up so I could push!)  I told him I couldn’t push anymore, that they were going to have to cut him out of me if he didn’t come out at that point.  I gave one final push as hard as I could, and he came out.  At first I didn’t realize that he was finally out.  I was so tired, still out of it, and then all of a sudden I feel this weight on my chest & there he was.  This beautiful, purple, slimey, LONG ASS, handsome, perfect little boy was finally here on my chest, all 20.5 inches, 7lbs14oz of him.  Oliver Anthony was welcomed into the world.  

And then just as I thought things could only go uphill after all that, I was completely and totally smacked in the face by reality...because it got a whole lot worse for the week of hell that the 3 of us spent in the hospital.  

#labor #laboranddelivery #baby #mom #momlife #newmom #firsttimemom #firsttimeblog #lifestyle #babyboy #coronababy #covid test #COVID-19 #preeclampsia #birth #couple #recovery #sobriety #addiction #family #pregnancy #motherhood #son #parenthood #parenting #lifestyleblog #home & lifestyle #fiance #new blog #fiancé

[juuls]

Pinned: Writing Updates

Hiya folks! ^_^ With this new pinned post feature, I figured it would be a good spot to put updates on how my writing is going (or not). As most of you know, mental and physical illness and recovery keep me from writing either quickly or easily, and I know that bothers or puts off some of you. Believe me, I feel guilty a lot of the time I’m not writing, but I know that nobody wants me to feel like this is a job, that I should enjoy what I do, and I try my best to just relax and let the writing come to me. It has always been a grueling task for me, and my words fight me, but I choose to see this as a labour of love. Thank you, everyone, for your support (and for holding up my fragile, rebuilding, self-confidence/ego :P). Managing chronic pain and illnesses along with fairly rapid-cycling Bipolar II makes things a bit messy, but I keep pushing because writing (and you amazing readers) means so much to me. 💜

UPDATE September 4th: see below “Read More”

Previous update, August 21st: Still only about 2400 words into chapter 28 of Cross, and I deleted Hurricane due to reasons but will be working on it bit by bit to instead post it as a single-chapter fic later on when people aren’t so busy anymore. Means I can focus on Cross though, which is all people want from me anyway. S’all good! Looking forward to moving that story along anyway.

Still have @grlie-girl’s Mansom fic, which is an MTH-adjacent fic. But then that’s it! Then I’ll start back up on Deliverance, my Stuckony kidfic, and keep moving Cross along. :) I’ve also been doing quite a lot of brainstorming for my original fiction series, which will be a combo SciFi-Fantasy series with magic and tech both, along with an eventual triad relationship! I’m really excited for it, even if it takes me decades more to write. xD

Works in Progress:

Hanging From a Cross of Iron: Fem!Tony Stuckony, time travel and soulmate AU. Just posted chapter 27 on July 19th! Yay! I’m about 2400 words into chapter 28 and I’m forging ahead as mental and physical health allows. But I think... maybe before the end of August? Thank you, everyone, for your kindness and patience!

Stony MTH fic for @ishipallthings: Fem!Tony Stony, Pacific Rim AU. Natasha Stark/Steve Rogers (Earth-3490) Get Together fic. @sparkly-angell is awesome and helping me by being a soundboard and beta. 5-15k. Will post it all together at a later date instead of chapter by chapter.

Deliverance: Stuckony kid fic, post-Avengers but in the alternate timeline that occurs after Avengers: Endgame. Have not forgotten about this, but it dropped in priority once I sorta over-committed myself to MTH, whoops. I’ll be back to this, though. :)

Gift fic for @grlie-girl, Mansom: (Marta/Ransom) from Knives Out. Dirty, filthy, femme!Domme Sugar Mama post-canon oneshot. I may need a second account to post this pile of filthy hot lava. ;)

Recently Finished Works:

Thread Work: Stuckony wingfic featuring Tony’s sister Darcy, written for MTH.

Ten Days: PepperStuckony bodyguard AU written for MTH for @tehroserose and @astudyinsolitude-writes.

Bad: a ShockStuckony get-together, meddling matchmaker Darcy fic, written for MTH.

I will try to keep this up to date but sometimes I’ll forget. Check back occasionally to see if I’m any closer to updating! I love all of my readers and commenters, and am so blessed to have you choose to read my work. Thank you so much. So so much. I’m sorry for the wait, but I’m a comeback kid, I promise. Sending love, and be safe and healthy and good to those around you.

Love, <3 Juulna

UPDATE September 4th: I’m going to put up a separate post, probably, but what’s going on is this... I obviously have Bipolar II and have learned to ride the ups and downs pretty well in recent years, even if some things still surprise me on occasion. But what I’ve never been able to properly treat or learn to deal with is anxiety. I’ve always had GAD (general anxiety) but it’s been untreated since I had so much other shitty health to focus on. Prioritization, right? And I needed all my faculties to not end up dead at the hands or by the gun of my ex. Then, after I left, I was making strides in recovering from the severe abuse and trauma at my ex-husband’s hands, sharp tongue, and actions from July 2017 until... well, it’s still an ongoing process, but this whole year, part of 2019 too, has been a lot better on the healing front. The strides I was making helped me focus on things other than my anxiety, but after dealing with those things, the anxiety started crawling insistently in.

Didn’t help that I finally felt up to checking out what was going on in the world more often. And it’s been good for me, it has... in that I’ve become better educated in the awfulness of the world, which has allowed me to call out racists, ‘Truthers’, and other asshole bigots who remind me of my ex. The downside of all that is that I am way over-empathetic and am appalled at the absolute.... *makes incoherent helpless noises*... just, appalled at EVERYTHING. And I am afraid. And worried. And angry. And a slew of other words that I’m sure every one of you get. You’re all intelligent; you know what’s going on in the world.

And sometimes I devolve into apathy, sometimes sleepless nights (I get about 16-20 hours of sleep a WEEK right now, which should be in the 40-60 hour range, frankly), increased pain on top of the fuckton I’m already in, worsening migraines, dizziness, and the intrusive thoughts of my bipolar depression keep telling me there’s an easy way out of this all. That’s when I knew I needed to do something. So sitting down with my loving father and my caring psychotherapist, I put together a list of my symptoms, what I wanted to tackle most, what I was willing to let go, how all of it interacted (cocktail medications, which I’m already on, can be dangerous and deadly), and then put together a proposal for my doctor, who’s been my family practitioner for two decades.

When you hit the point of panic attacks weekly, and not being able to sleep, even with a double dose of your sleep medication... when you don’t want to watch the things that bring you some modicum of joy for fear of aspects reminding you about the real world... when you wish you simply didn’t exist anymore... you need help. I needed help, and I won’t shy away from discussing that in a public setting, for the simple fact that someone who reads this might need to hear that it’s not the end all be all, not the end of the line, not the end of your life. So with the support of my father and my therapist, who I spoke to last night and this morning, respectively, in advance of my doctor’s appoint this afternoon... My doctor listened attentively to me and gave me permission to go on benzodiazepines again. I will be taking one daily, the one that doesn’t have nearly as great a spike of effect, but lasts longer and steadier, and will also be taking the other, spikier one, as the equivalent of a rescue inhaler for the next panic attack.

I’m not trying to hide from what’s going on in the world. But there is a line I need to learn to respect in how much news I look for, how I consume it, and how I let myself run away with myself at any injustice I see. And fuck, there is a lot. I will still be keeping abreast of the news, still educating myself, still engaging in discussions with people I trust to be kind to my mental state as best they can in the situation, and other things. This will simply make it so I don’t devolve into an incoherent mess of a breakdown/panic attack, and most importantly it will keep me from suicide. It’s never been much of a threat for me, but lately...? Let’s just say I am a bit more concerned than usual.

Gotta love brains, eh? Mental illness sucks. But this is one way I can take control. Other ways include the Nutrisystem diet I recently started, going for regular walks with my pupper and dad, reading 42 Sci-Fi/Fantasy books and counting in 2020, breathing exercises, removing harmful elements from my life even if that pains me in the moment... I’m making progress in other areas.

But what does this mean for my writing? Well. Good question. The last few times I took the stronger of these two medications (on a more daily, vs rescue, basis), well, I didn’t write hardly at all. I have hopes for being able to write during this, with the more steady medication, but I also have to feel happy to write, and the state of the world isn’t going to give me much opportunity to feel that for months yet, if not years (go and goddamn vote)... so yeah. But I realized that I don’t put myself first in big ways like this. And this time I need to. If the writing happens, that’s wonderful. If it doesn’t? Well, I’ll settle for less anxiety and not being dead, and I hope that that’s okay with y’all. I know it’s frustrating when a favourite author takes ages to update, and I’ve always been fairly guilty of that... but you all know that I ALWAYS come back. That’s what I do. I love this community, this fandom, my beta, my readers... you make it all worth coming back to.

So please, all I ask is that you be patient with me. I’m experiencing a pretty severe mental health crisis and not holding on too solidly. But I’m thinking of you. Thinking of all of you, and just how much I appreciate you.

With love,

Juulna / Meg

#my writing #stuckony #stucky #stony #female tony stark #hanging from a cross of iron #deliverance #firecracker #marvel trumps hate #updates #status update #masterpost #of a sorts #hurricane #mth 2019

[phoenix-angel-suyari]

I’m having a really rough day and I can’t even drink.

I don’t even know where to start...

So, I think I’m just gonna bullet point this bitch. 

- On Monday, I missed my therapy appointment which I only get once every 2-3 weeks and never seem to be long enough at anywhere from 20-40 minutes per session depending upon my therapist’s availability. There’s a LOT wrong with my therapy situation, but at the moment I’m honestly, seriously lucky to be able to have therapy at all in the first place. So as much as it sucks, at the very least I am receiving mental health care and that’s all that matters. 

However, my missed therapy appointment was not my fault. The night before I was called by the office in regards to my appointment and the coming storm. I was offered a rescheduled in person or a telehealth appointment. Now, as much as I despise the telehealth appointments - entirely because of my living situation - as rare as my appointments can be, semi-consistent therapy has caused me to sort of NEED them. I never get around to actually talking about what I need or want to talk about, but just venting some things is helpful so I opted for the telehealth appointment instead. I was told my appointment had been turned into a telehealth and would retain it’s time slot. 

The next morning, I made sure I was awake and prepared. Nine o’clock came. No phone call. So, I waited. Ten o’clock came. No phone call. By eleven, I thought, I’d make brunch (I only eat twice a day) because I needed to take my medication. By twelve, I figured, I’d go shovel because the snow was coming down by the foot. My therapist called while I was shoveling and was told I was unavailable. She said she’d call back at 1. So I finished up, took a quick shower to get warm and waited. I ended up waiting all day and she never called back. 

I’d assumed initially when time was going by and she wasn’t calling that perhaps I had been the only one who opted for telehealth and she’d misread an email that had let her know she essentially had the day free. I still don’t know what happened there, but I am hoping it doesn’t count as some sort of strike against me (the hospital has a three strikes and they drop you situation) because it was NOT my fault. 

Regardless, now it’s gonna be over a month between when I last spoke to my therapist and when I next speak to my therapist. And honestly, the only saving grace is that I will be seeing my Psychiatrist on Tuesday and she’ll listen to me and I can cry in her office if I need to then. 

- I’m smack dab in the middle of a mid life crisis and I’ve been struggling with it. I know I’d still be where I am if not for covid, but I still can’t help like feeling as if covid has made me lose valuable time I will never get back and which I am quickly running out of to turn my life around. 

This has not been aided at all by a slew of strange but not disturbing, just confusing as hell dreams, and my family being my family. 

- Speaking of my family...

Yesterday, some of us who have been tested recently and/or already finished receiving both doses of vaccination got together for the first time in a year. And it was nice. Enjoyable. I couldn’t really drink because my new meds really do not mesh well with alcohol - which I tested safely at home and learned the hard way. 

Now, it’s important to note that my sister has been pressuring me to open an OnlyFans because in her opinion it’s something easy I can do to make money and it makes no sense for me not to. (We’re not going to get into these “discussions” held previously, only know there have been way more than there should be.) 

So, we’re talking and I point out that everyone sitting around the table is married already and so they at least don’t have to worry about finding someone in all this mess, as it drags on longer and longer. I finally caved and after years of just letting them come at me while not bothering to ever do any work like introducing me to someone they thought I might get along with, I confronted them about it. I was like, “Look, everyone seems to forget they met their spouses through someone else INTRODUCING them. So, if you know someone who’s single and looking for long term - marriage and a family - then please, feel free to hook me up.” 

I was then told - rather seriously - that I should go on a tv show. I - rightly so - pointed out that I didn’t trust shows like that to set me up with anyone because they’re all about the drama and why should I even have to go on tv for something like that. My sister then proceeded to tell everyone how she thought I should open an OnlyFans. Instead of being surprised or anything by this, my family proceeded to spend the next hour trying to convince me to do something I don’t want to do. They basically laid it all out in a start to finish establishing a fan base and getting a patreon to crowdfund the basics for an OnlyFans. They worked out and tried to sell me on content I could offer and when I countered, “Even if I wanted to - which I DON’T - explain to me how the hell I’m supposed to do any of that in THAT house.” The answer being that it was entirely possible. I just had to figure it out. 

My sister said, “You do it like you do when you exercise.” And like when I WHAT?! I’m not ALLOWED to exercise. It “makes too much noise” and invites derision. Which I then have to suffer through. She then proceeded to inform me that I could always establish a career as a Sugar baby. “You don’t even have to have sex with them, you just have to dress pretty and make them feel important.” Can I do the second one? Absolutely. The first is not possible. We argued about it and she was like, “It works! My friend did it in college and she got an apartment and everything!” And I countered that even though there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s a LIFESTYLE and it’s most lucrative for people in their twenties, not someone like me. Which apparently, is an excuse? Because I need an excuse to object to something I fucking objected to when I was IN my twenties. 

So, anyway, I learned that my family seems to enjoy my singleness as a source of conversation, if not entertainment, but which is somehow fulfilling for them because even when I come right out and fucking ASK THEM to HELP ME find someone, it somehow becomes that I don’t need a someone when I can be a camgirl instead. 

I even pointed out that I could make JUST AS MUCH with a cute dog whom I could make an entire social media platform for and was told in like the most what the fuck moment of the evening, “With what money?!” Like, are you fucking SERIOUS?! There was a whole conversation detailing and planning how to get me to be a camgirl and we can’t figure out a fucking DOG?!

I am so fucking done with all of it.    

- I was feeling really sick last night when I got home, like I might throw up and so I just took a shower and went to bed. But, because I did that, I never took any of my meds last night - which is when I take the bulk of them - and my body is just NOT HAVING IT. 

- For some reason my family wanted to have a dog movie marathon today that like, I enjoy those movies, but they’re emotional as fuck for me and I was already not feeling okay, and then wanted to subject me to that. I watched like half an hour of one and then left. 

- I’m not even getting into the dinner fiasco. 

I took a fucking swan dive into a depressive oubliette and the only thing I can hope for is that taking my meds tonight will give me the protective boost enough to not be completely lost tomorrow. I have now learned the hard way that my explanation to my doctors about how my anti-depressants are like doing the brunt of the work to make me capable of daily life without a complete mental breakdown is in fact not a handy analogy. I have learned my lesson. I will not be missing a dose again. 

I’ve never been a smoker but my god, could I use a cigarette right now. 

I did receive some good news this week at least. My liver’s finally healed. I’m gonna have to be on medication for the rest of my life to ensure that, but that’s one organ that forgave me at least. 

I’m going back to sleep. 

#my life #my family

[this-is-mdness]

COVID Vaccine Things

So, uh, the logistics of COVID vaccinations have been a mess for many reasons. This sucks but is not totally unexpected. Go get your vaccine, but be prepared. Here are some of my recommendations:

1. FIND OUT HOW/WHEN TO GET YOUR SECOND DOSE. Also make sure that you're not scheduling your first dose in a way that the second dose (3 weeks for Pfizer, 4 weeks for Moderna) will be inconvenient for you. You can be off by a few days and that's fine (for example, my doses will be 22 days apart rather than 21). In my state, they set up your second appointment after you receive your first dose. I've heard reports from other states/countries that it's...much less organized, and honestly that concerns me. So figure out what's going on in your area and make sure you know what you need to be doing to get protected.

2. KNOW WHAT VACCINE YOU ARE GETTING. You will receive a card after your vaccination. It should contain your name, the date you received your first dose, and what you received. You can also ask your vaccinator what vaccine they are providing. When your second appointment comes, CONFIRM. Ask your vaccinator and make sure you are getting the same vaccine! The doses do not differ between shots, so you just need to make sure it is the same vaccine.

3. DOCUMENT. Highly highly recommend taking a picture of that card, in case you lose it or forget to bring it with you for your second dose. You want that information. Double check that you will be receiving the same vaccine at the appropriate time.

4. REMEMBER TO MASK UP! Honestly, one of my favorite things about working vaccine clinic is that it is refreshing not to see noses everywhere. We are working to keep you safe and we really appreciate you keeping us safe as well. And remember, even after 2 doses you may still be an asymptomatic carrier. So continue to wear masks in public and distance when you can.

Sincerely, your local vaccine provider who just wants y'all to be safe (and is TIRED of this pandemic).

*I am based in the US and some info may not apply to other countries

#covid #covid19 #coronavirus #medblr #i'm tired of this shit y'all #the government should have done a better job

[msbarrows]

Cataracts - What Surgery Is Like

As previously mentioned, I’d developed cataracts and am now going through surgery for them, and have elected to document a bit about what it’s all like from my viewpoint. Mostly because I think it’d make a nice reference for anyone wanting to write with some degree of accuracy about what it’s like from the inside.

This post contains a description of the surgical process involved and what that actually feels like, I’m trying not to be overly graphic but I’m also not elliding over any of the grosser bits (thankfully and surprisingly very little).

First off, a descriptiong of the preliminaries. This started for me with my vision going blurry over the last couple of years, and finally getting around to visiting my old optomitrist when I happened to be in Toronto over last Christmas (as my one up north just retired a couple years ago, and I hadn’t replaced her yet). Of the several potential causes for the vision loss I was experiecing, what I had turned out to be cataracts, of the variety that occurs at the back of the lens and therefor doesn’t cause easily-visible clouding. Which I actually said “Oh, thank god!” to when the optomitrist told me, since they are the absolute easiest thing to fix, while some of the other options (detached retina, or diabetes-related macular degradation, to name a couple) are much less so. Then he gave me a reference to an opthamologist. Thanks to COVID-19, it was this fall before I was finally able to actually get to the clinic and see her.

From my point of view, the process then went pretty quickly. Note that I was at an eye institute that specializes in cataract treatment; everything is contained in one building (a nicely renovated Victorian brick house in the Annex area of Toronto). So all tests and surgery are done on premises.

First appointment there, they did the same sort of vision tests my optomitrist generally does, plus some extra inner-eye photography to get a good look at what was going on. This was done by two different people, one doing the eye-chart related tests and a different one doing the photography. Then I met briefly with my doctor, who looked over my questionnaire (which included questions like whether near, mid, or distance vision was most important to me, and was there a focal distance I particularly needed to be glasses free for, etc.), and that I didn’t need nor have interest in a lens replacement that wasn’t covered under our provincial health care.

A week later I returned for them to perform eye measurement tests, which are used as a basis for manufacturing the replacement lens. They measure the size and shape of the eye, and mostly just involved staring into various machines while photos are taken. The weirdest one, which they did last, involved dripping numbing drops into my eyes, and then lightly pressing a small sensor to multiple places both directly on the eyeballs and then on the closed lids. Something to do with viscosity I’d assume.

And now for a description of the general surgical process, which you can also find summarized (or in more detail) at a number of medical web sites. In my case, it was a pretty basic surgery being performed; the opthamologist needed to make a small slit in the outer layer of my eye, used a tiny probe to break down the lens using ultrasound waves, vacuum out the broken down lens, then use a largish needle to insert a folded plastic lens into the eye, where it would unfold within the capsular space and could be tweaked as needed into the correct position. The cut in the eye is tiny enough that it usually doesn’t even need stitching, apparently.

I was asked to arrive at a specific time, and had to start applying dilating drops to my eyes an hour, half-hour, and five minutes before leaving for the clinic. No nail polish or facial makeup. Preferable wearing comfortable pants and a loosely short-sleeved button front shirt without any undershirt or long underwear beneath it (which turns out to be a “just in case things go crazily sideways” measure; they didn’t actually need to access anything on my torso).

The first step after I arrived at the clinic was being dressed in PPE - one of their own disposable masks to be sure I was wearing a good enough one (that wasn’t coated in whatever mine had picked up outside), a hair cap, a long-sleeved thigh-length blue plasticized robe (it had thumb holes to prevent the sleeves from slipping), and booties over my shoes.

Then I was taken to their surgical floor, where a nurse began a series of eye drops. These included more dilation, an antispectic, and an antibiotic, that I can remember - multiple drops of all. She also gave me a teeny tiny pill to place under my tongue and let dissolved, which contained a small dose of a relaxant/anti-anxiety med (Sorry, she told me the name of it at the time but it’s dropped out of my memory). I didn’t notice any particular change in my mood, but then I’d been counting slow deep breaths since arriving (4 seconds in, 4 seconds out...) to help keep myself relaxed and give myself something to focus on that wasn’t omfg I’m going to be awake during this! Because yeah, not having a clue what it was going to be like was stressful. Nurse also took my blood pressure to be sure I was fine in that regards, and put a sticker on the gown to remind the doctor that it was my right eye being done that day.

After a brief wait, I was moved into one of the surgical theatres, where there was a dentist chair they sat me in, then connected a blood pressure cuff, fingertip monitor (hence the no nail polish rule) and sensors on the backs of both hands and one ankle (I’m assuming those were measuring a mix of blood oxygenation and heartbeat, with the ankle one making sure my feet were still getting blood when I was spending the surgery in what ended up as a tipped-over-backwards with head lowest position). They then rinsed my eye and the orbital area with bactine (very yellow vision while that happens), then patted the area around the eye dry.

The doctor sat at my head, and applied a medical drape with a pre-cut adhesive-edged opening over my eye, then peeled off a translucent applique that was over the hole. Then they applied medical clamps that held my eyelids in the open position (which thanks to the numbing drops, I didn’t feel at all). A brightly lighted microscope was then positioned over the eye, and I was told to stay as still as possible and stare at the red dot in the lighted area. The doctor then did the surgery as described above. From my point of view, there was very little to feel; occasional dull pressure, some random coldness that I believe was the eye being irrigated. I could hear the occasional very quiet noise the probe made as the lens was sucked away, but mostly it was just staring at the red light as well as I could while my vision distorted oddly and I continue counting breaths. Within what felt like no more than 5-10 minutes (if that), it was all over with.

They had me continue to lie there for a couple minutes while they peeled off the drape, wiped the eye area clean, and removed all the sensors, then a brief rest before having me sit up.

I blinked once or twice, and... DAMN! Sudden near-perfect vision in an eye that hasn’t seen clearly without help since I was in single digit ages. And the saturation. The detail.

Now, my left eye of course still has a cataract (it gets treated next week). I’d been telling people for a while that basically all my right eye was seeing was blur, so my left eye was doing most of the seeing, and I thought my left eye wasn’t anywhere near as bad as my right. With my right eye now seeing perfectly, I could now alternate opening eyes from side to side, and see just how badly (and irregularly) blurred and yellowed the left lens actually is. To which I can only saw, WTF, how was I even seeing anything at all!?

Then they had me sit for a while in the waiting area, where the doctor came and double-checked I was fine, and gave me a kit in a plastic bag of a card that identifies that I have an interocular lens (and info about it), a prescription for two different eye drops (antibiotic and anti-inflamatory) which was enough for both this eye and the eye getting operated on next week, and a shield to wear at night for the first five nights, to be sure I don’t accidentally rub it or put pressure on it.

Then I put on sunglasses (because hugely dilated eye) and walked out.

Side note - they won’t do your operation unless you have a ride home arranged; because that tiny pill means you’re in a slightly altered state, among other reasons. Good thing it was my brother and not, say, a taxi, since among other things it took us three drugstores to find one that actually had both kinds of eyedrops in stock, yay super fun.

Also, remember me talking about the starburst rays I was seeing around lights due to cataracts? While my eye was still dilated (which lasted until after midnight) I was seeing what I can only describe as ‘Ferris wheels’ - a burst of  rays expanding out like the spokes of a wheel, and ending in an uneven ring of dots of bright light, each wheel matching the colour of the light causing it. Looked wild at night. Thankfully that effect has now gone away.

Had a follow-up appointment this morning where they did an eye chart and the rebounce test where they puff air at your cornea, and the opthamologist says the vision in that eye tested as 20/20 (WOOO! Finally something good with that number). I can see sharply and clearly for blocks from the mid-range on out. Sadly when I try to use my computer, tablet, etc (near-range and close vision) the eye can’t focus down far enough; some of that may improve over the next month or two as the eye continues healing, and adapting to the lens. In the meantime my sister suggested I try a pair of her reading glasses and, yay, that worked. I am now planning that after my follow-up appointment for next week’s surgery on the left eye, I’ll run around and pick up 2-3 pairs of reading glasses of various strengths (which I will get will depend on what seems to work best with arm’s length and close-in viewing), to carry me through until I go back to an optomitrist in a month or three, and get my vision evaluated to see if I need actual prescription reading and/or far distance glasses.

In the meantime, apart from computer/tablet use, I am glasses free. I can’t even remember ever having such sharp, clear, and saturated vision (since I’ve been in glasses for such a long time). You know the “oh, trees are made of leaves!” effect? I am getting that with every single thing I look at. Oh, that’s how much grey is in my hair? Weird, I never noticed this wall was textured before. Oh geez, that text over there is so small and yet I AM READING IT. I mean, even with glasses I probably was never able to read that from this distance! Etc ad infinitum.

It’s just so, so nice.

And that’s with just one eye finished. I am now really looking forward to next week’s surgery. Stress? What stress!?

#Cataracts #Me Myself and I #If you've ever wondered what having cataract surgery was actually like... #CW: Surgery Details

[inmyownlittlecorner5]

libera nos a malo Chapter 1: Strings

A fanfic Novel by la-topolina

Rated for Mature Audiences

Warnings: Language, Violence, Sexual Content

Chapter 1/20

libera nos a malo Masterpost+

Unstoppable Force/Immovable Object Masterpost+

Chapter Two+ >>

He wasn’t fast enough.

The curse caught him square in the chest, sending him head over heels and smashing him into the pock-marked stone wall. By the time he hit the floor, his wand had been snatched from his hand and his opponent was astride him, the tip of her wand tilting his chin up that he might better see her triumphant grin.

“Had enough?” Miranda purred, her gray eyes sparkling over him.

“Not nearly,” Severus growled back. “But you have.”

“I don’t know.” She playfully twirled her wand between her fingers, considering. “You won the last round and I won this one. Why don’t we say best two out of three?”

He put one long finger on the end of her wand and deliberately pushed it away from his throat. “Healer A’isha ordered you to limit yourself to one duel per day until your next appointment. We’ve already had two. It’s enough.”

“Spoilsport,” she murmured, rolling smoothly to her feet and tossing his wand back to him.

He caught it and got to his feet while she started her tedious routine of post-duel stretches. The simple dueling platform and the opposing banners emblazoned with the Slytherin and Thunderbird crests vanished, leaving a narrow, waist-high table behind. With an audible groan, Miranda climbed onto the table, lifting her arm for Severus to manipulate according to the Healer’s stern specifications.

“I’m still not sure which is worse; the physical exercises or the magical ones,” she grumbled, wincing as he held her arm in place a few seconds longer than the day pervious.

“Your spellwork seemed marginally less pedantic tonight,” he said, the encouragement clumsy in his mouth.

“How nice of you to say so.”

“Healer A’isha did order me to bolster your precarious spirits with regular doses of praise,” he said wryly, leaning on her leg until she stifled a groan. Healer A’isha had also warned him that he would come to hate these exercises more than Miranda did herself. It was one thing to endure pain—and yet another to inflict it on the person whose well-being was unfortunately bound up with one’s own sentimental affections.

“I was thinking I would move back to the cabin this weekend,” she said casually when he released the stretch.

“Were you?” Why was it that no matter how many times one rehearsed receiving disappointing news, it never dulled the pain when the blow actually fell?

“Yes.” She sucked in her breath as he leaned on her other leg.

“All the better for you to neglect your recovery.”

“With you and Rachel dogging me, how could I dare? Aaron’s going to help me move.”

“I see.” He released her leg and offered her a hand to help her sit up. It was shameful how pleased he was when she actually took it; he was like a dog slavering after its master for affection.

Part of the floor sunk away, melting into a clear blue pool of steaming water, and Miranda used her wand to painstakingly transfigure her clothing into a trim bathing suit. Spells that were once instantaneous now required her strictest attention and labor, but the fact that she was able to perform them at all was enough to hope that she would, in time, recover her powers completely. He stooped to pull off her boots—vanished footwear was so notoriously difficult to retrieve from nonbeing that it was rarely worth the risk of sending it thither. She gave a deep sigh as she slid into the water, and she laid her head back on the tiled floor, letting her eyes close and her arms drift.

“You can come in if you like,” she suggested without opening her eyes.

“I think not. You would only distract me from completing your exercises.” A chair materialized on the opposite side of the pool, and he settled himself into it. “Tell me when you are ready.”

“Are you angry with me?”

He was. “Of course not. Why would I be angry?”

“I wouldn’t have asked Aaron for help, but I didn’t want to impose on you any more than I already have.”

“You haven’t been imposing.” Although what else he wished to call her extended sojourn in his rooms he refused to admit.

She opened one eye and smiled at him. “Yes I have, don’t lie to me. But feel free to join in the fun. Rachel and Maggie are coming along to make dinner.”

“I fail to see how a baby would be of any use at making dinner.”

“Rachel can do anything with Maggie strapped to her back. Aaron says it’s a sight to behold.” She lifted her head off the tile and raised one hand out of the water, wordlessly summoning her wand. “I’m ready now.”

Severus conjured a golden ball the size of an orange and sent it spinning towards Miranda with a smooth wandstroke. She watched it, her brow furrowed in concentration. The ball flew towards her, unchecked until it was less than an arms-length away from her nose, when she managed to wordlessly send it back towards him. He lazily batted it with his magic, and this time she used hers to catch it in mid-air and stretch it into a length of rope, which she dropped into the water. With a flick of his wand, the rope shot out of the pool, transfigured now into a fish that splashed back under the water and swam towards Miranda, tickling her toes. She laughed and drew her wand through the air, causing the water to surge out of the pool and toss the fish up with it. Before it could land back in the water, she waved her wand again, and the fish transformed into a mangled half-avian, half-ichthyoid horror. It hit the tile next to the pool and flopped helplessly, until Severus waved his hand to vanish the mess.

“Well, that was better than yesterday,” Miranda said half-heartedly.

“It was. Most of the fish-bird’s organs were on the inside today rather than haphazardly arranged on its scales,” Severus remarked.

“I guess that’s true.”

Her frustration was palpable, and he went around the pool to sit on the cushion that appeared on the tile at her side. While his attempts at verbal encouragement tended to be as mangled as some of her recent transfiguration attempts, he had discovered that a well timed kiss served just as well, if not better. Her lips were a firm line of irritation when he captured them, but they quickly softened under his patient insistence, and when he pulled away to draw breath, she was smiling.

“So, will you come?” she asked.

Disappointment cut through the fog of tenderness that had gathered in his chest, but though he felt his jaw clench at the idea of her leaving, he heard himself saying, “It would seem there is nothing left for me to do but acquiesce.”

She caught his face between her warm, wet hands, and drew him down for another lingering kiss that fed both his anger and his tendre for her.

“Don’t be cross, Severus. I know we’ve both been looking forward to finally being on the same island at the same time, but we’ll drive each other crazy if we keep living in the same two rooms together. I really am so grateful to you for everything you’ve done, and I don’t know how I’m going to repay you, but…”

“That’s quite enough,” he interrupted. He did not care to listen to her thanks. “Will Saturday serve the purpose?”

“Saturday’s perfect. I’ll write to Aaron tonight and let him know.”

He helped her out of the water and hovered near her elbow while she arduously cast a drying charm on herself, and transfigured her bathing suit back into her trousers and tunic. She gave a jaw-splitting yawn when she finished and sat down on the table, allowing him to put her socks and boots back on her feet for the trek down to the dungeon. As usual, he exited the Room of Requirement first and, finding the hall empty, he rapped on the wall and started down to the dungeon. He was entering the stairwell when he heard Horace Slughorn’s voice in the hallway behind him.

“Why if it isn’t Miranda Rose!” Horace said pleasantly.

“Hello Horace,” Miranda replied in a bright, but weary tone. “Fancy finding you here. Are you visiting?”

“No, I’ve come out of retirement, I’m sorry to say. But someone has to teach these youngsters Potions, and Albus Dumbledore is a difficult man to say no to. To what do I owe the happy accident of seeing you this evening?”

“Albus Dumbledore, who else?”

“Who else indeed. Then you must know what I am talking about. Come into my office and have a nightcap with me. I can’t tell you how serendipitous this is! I was about to owl you with regards to a project…”

The door closed, shutting off the rest of Horace’s monologue. Severus briefly considered eavesdropping, but decided it wasn’t worth the bother. He had plenty of work waiting for him in his own office, and Miranda would likely tell him anything interesting that the crafty potions master said.

Or she wouldn’t. And there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it.

*****

“And it ended with me having to accept an invitation to his Christmas party,” Miranda said, suppressing a grunt as she flicked her wand at a book-filled crate. It crashed into the floor harder than she meant it to, but she kept the wand flicks coming lest Severus notice her tiring and order her to take a break. The books leapt jerkily out of the crate and floated to the shelves, lining up like weary soldiers returning home.

“Did you?” Aaron replied as he attempted to wrestle her turntable back into its desk drawer. “Woman, how did you get this blessed thing in here in the first place?”

“You have to talk nice to it.”

“I s’pose.” He swore under his breath as yet another corner refused to fit. “But a party’s not so bad. And I’ve heard Horace Slughorn knows how to throw ‘em.”

“I’ve heard that too; but a student party full of hormonal teenagers? What am I supposed to do, wilt along the wall with the chaperones?”

“Are you still complaining about Horace’s party?” Severus asked irritably, emerging from the newly cleaned potions closet. “I had thought you would not have minded keeping me company there.”

“I wouldn’t mind if I was allowed to act as though I knew you, especially considering how hard it is to get you to go out at all. But at least when we go to Prospero’s, you hold my hand.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever held your hand,” he muttered, gathering the crate of her prescribed potions.

“A convenient lapse of memory.”

She didn’t hear whatever he shot back at her, as he covered his grumbling with returning to the potions closet and spending an inordinately long time unpacking and arranging it.

“Do you ever give that man a break?” Rachel chided from the stove where she was busily sautéing a rainbow of vegetables while Maggie tugged on her sleek black ponytail.

“If he can dish it, he can take it,” Miranda retorted, starting on another crate. “How are things at the Embassy?”

“Busy,” Aaron replied, “and complicated. Scrimgeour’s discouraging anyone from coming into or leaving the country. He’s trying to play it off like he’s got the whole Voldemort situation under control, and I do believe that he doesn’t want to look a fool by having all the foreigners high tailing it home. But I also think he’s scared shitless that if he keeps the borders open, he’s going to have a mess of Death Eaters and Death Eater sympathizers coming in to play. So he hasn’t exactly shut them down, but they ain’t exactly open either.”

“What does Robert think about that?”

“He’ll play along if he gets what he wants out of it. Take that you demon-spawn!” Aaron whooped, slapping the turntable as it finally snapped into place.

“What does he want?”

Aaron started flipping through Miranda’s records in search of some appropriate victory music.

“For now what he wants is permission to run his own Aurors to protect the Americans in the country.”

“Really? That’s never happened before. And Scrimgeour allowed it?”

“He did. And Robert’s champing at the bit to get ahold of you. I reckon he wants you on the team.”

The book that Miranda was directing onto the shelf clattered to the floor, and she groaned inwardly as she recast the charm to send it back to its place.

“That’s flattering. I don’t know that I want to be an Auror, but I would at least consider it.”

“Not at the current moment,” Severus snapped, returning to the room to glare at her. “And I believe that it is time for you to sit down.”

“I will when I finish this crate.” His glare darkened and she protested, “I’m fine! I can finish a crate, it won’t kill me.”

“Your left shoulder is high,” he said in that quiet, angry tone of his.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your left shoulder. It rides high when you are tired and forcing your magic. It’s your tell.”

She grinned in spite of herself. “I didn’t realize you knew about tells.”

“One of the few useful things my father bothered himself to teach me.”

The set of his jaw told her that arguing the point would be neither useful nor entertaining and—to her chagrin—he was right; she was forcing her magic. She threw up her hands in defeat and said, “Fine, you win. I’ll hold the baby.”

He continued to watch her sternly until she had liberated Maggie from the flower-patterned baby-carrier on Rachel’s back and was settled on the new leather sofa in front of the fire as if he expected her to covertly thwart his orders the instant he looked away. She sank into the comfortable cushions and contented herself with bouncing the fine, plump child and replying to her happy babbling as though it were intelligible conversation. The old sofa had gotten lost somewhere in the shuffle of chaos at St. Mungo’s, and the Lees had insisted on replacing it. Miranda had attempted to decline the generosity at first, but she had to admit that her friends had a talent for selecting furniture that was as functional as it was beautiful.

She was glad when Severus finally took over her unpacking and ceased to watch her with his piercing eyes. She doubted that her friends had noticed it, but the sorrow flickering in those inky depths was all too apparent to her.

*****

After the ramen had been eaten, the tea all drunk, and the baby nursed, the Lees were making ready to leave in a flurry of cloaks, scarves, and mittens.

“When’s your next appointment?” Rachel asked while she deftly wrapped the sleeping baby on her chest and settled her cloak snugly around them both.

“Monday morning,” Miranda replied. “If it goes well, I won’t have to go back until after Christmas.”

“Come by after you’re done. We can have lunch.”

“That sounds wonderful. I’ll see you then.”

She kissed her friends’ cheeks and waved them away. Severus kept to the background, still arranging books and bottles on their shelves; but he did trouble himself to return Rachel’s good-bye and shake Aaron’s hand. The Lees turned back to wave when they reached the end of the lane before disappearing with a loud pop. Miranda closed the door after them, and was surprised to see Severus shrugging into his cloak.

“Oh, were you going home?” she asked, trying to keep the disappointment she felt from showing.

His brow furrowed, but his eyes were blank. “I…had thought so.”

She smiled quickly and reassured him, “Of course. You must be dying to have some peace and quiet.”

He ran a long finger lightly over her cheekbone and jawline. The contrast of the roughness of his calloused finger and the gentleness of the touch made her shiver.

“I can stay if you would prefer it,” he offered quietly.

“No,” she said, a little too quickly. “I’ll be fine. I can’t wait to have a few minutes to myself.”

“As you like.” He withdrew his hand and reached for the doorknob, but not before she saw that flash of sorrow again.

Guilt prompted her to put her hand over his and soften the blow. “You know, I doubt I’ll feel much like cooking dinner tomorrow, after being spoiled by the house elves and Rachel for the last six weeks. There’s a little pub in Shoreditch that serves our kind. The Queen Mab, say eight o’clock?”

He smiled wryly at her and he kissed her brow before replying, “That would be agreeable. I shall have time to finish my Koestler while I wait for you.”

“I’ll be early, just to spite you.”

“I suppose there is a first time for everything. Until then.”

He left before the silence that fell between them could turn awkward, and disappeared at the end of the lane without looking back. She shut the door and wished that she could shut out the confusing web of emotions tangled up with her dour Englishman as easily. With a sigh, she wandered through her cabin, running her fingers over the roll-top desk; the books and the barware; the pictures on the mantel. When she came to a window, she threw it open, welcoming the chill of the night air as it blew in off the Channel. Soon there was a delicious cross breeze, and she perched herself on her bed, leaning on the window-frame and gazing out over the blackness of the water. The air in her cabin had been stagnant, like the air in neglected places. It had been far too long since she had been home.

Home? She pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a snap of her fingers, wondering when she had come to think of this place as home. While it was true that she had a habit of referring to wherever she laid her head for the night as home; it was also true that at some point during her Romanian adventure, she’d caught herself thinking of Britain as home in the way that she usually thought of her parent’s farm in Edgewood as home.

She blew out a line of smoke, watching the winter wind send it dancing through the moonlight, and refused to ponder the reasons why.

*****

“How did it go?” Rachel asked on Monday as she, with Maggie strapped to her chest, and Miranda queued up behind a long line of hungry Embassy workers.

“I feel like I was hit by a truck, so pretty well,” Miranda replied, grimacing as she rolled her shoulders in a fruitless attempt to relieve their soreness.

“Did Healer A’isha say you would be alright at home? That you’ll be able to do all of your exercises?”

“Yes mother. She said it was just fine, signed me a note and everything. Besides, Severus will come by often enough to bother me about it, and he’s sterner than any of the Healers about training.”

“That’s good to know. Maybe between the two of us, we can keep you on track. You know you’re a terrible patient.”

“That’s fair. But I also know when I have to buckle down and work. Going into the Iele’s realm drained me more than I could have imagined possible.”

“Was it their realm, or their guards?”

“I think it was both—and rather than either—or. It’s been almost two months and I’m still not where I want to be.”

Rachel gave her arm a reassuring squeeze, and Maggie imitated her mother, catching hold of a lock of Miranda’s silver hair. “You’ll get there. It just takes time.”

She was absolutely sick of hearing that. “So everyone keeps telling me. What do you feel like having today?”

The creeping queue finally inched under the sloping, art deco doorways, and the cafeteria opened out before them, a gleaming, stainless steel cornucopia of choices. The shining walls were etched with enchanted scenes of vaudeville routines for the entertainment of the diners eating at the long farmhouse tables. Squeezed into the cavernous space was a dizzying array of American delicacies; from fried chicken and waffles, to jambalaya, to Boston cream pie and everything in between.

“I usually get the meatloaf and apple pie here. I’m boring,” Rachel said. “You?”

“It’s been forever since I’ve had some real pizza, and after that hellish check-up this morning I think it’s been long enough.”

“Good choice! New York style, right?” Rachel stuck her tongue out at her friend in anticipation of her answer.

Miranda stuck out her tongue in response before gasping, “Blasphemy! Chicago style is the only thing that qualifies as pizza in my book. Meet you at the usual spot?”

“Will do.”

The ladies parted to join the queues at their chosen kitchens, and Miranda soon lost Rachel and Maggie in the crowd. By the time she was close enough to see the handsome brick wood-burning oven, the morning tasks were beginning to make their effects known. She leaned heavily on the shining countertop, tapping her bright yellow tray with shaking fingers. Food would help—the sooner the better—and then maybe she’d ask Rachel to let her come down to the Lees’ flat for a nap. A long nap.

“Here y’go,” said a round-faced youth who seemed far too young to have a job.

“Thanks,” she murmured, taking the red hot plate and quickly setting it on the tray next to her lemonade. Scooping the whole thing up, she turned and swayed dangerously as a wave of dizziness hit her. She wanted to growl with frustration as she fell back against the counter. This whole recovering from almost dying business was not entertaining at all.

“May I help you, Miss?” A smooth, polite voice and a pair of firm hands steadied Miranda and her tray before either of them went toppling to the floor. “I know I’m always a mess when I need to eat.”

“No, thank you, I’m fine,” Miranda protested halfheartedly, looking down into his pleasant face.

He would not be deterred. “Let me do it so I can tell my Mama I helped a nice lady. Where to?”

“I…well, thank you. This way.”

It was all she could do to keep herself steady as they crossed the crowded room. Her stomach was churning and she was starting to see spots on the edge of her vision. Clearly, she would be of no use to anyone until she put some food in her stomach. The noise of dishes crashing, people chattering, and the squeaking of the moving pictures on the walls coalesced into an cacophonous whirlpool that threatened to suck her under.

By the time they reached the table in the corner, Miranda’s last nerve was hanging by a single, fraying thread. Her knight errant set down the tray and pulled out a chair for her; which she all but collapsed into. The duo on the wall behind her yammered about the eternal question (Who’s playing first? That’s right.) and she started shoveling steaming pizza into her mouth so quickly that it burned.

Half a slice and a few gulps of lemonade later, she was capable of behaving as though she had not been born in a barn. She wiped her hands and face with her checked napkin and said ruefully, “Thank you for your help. I had a rough time at magical therapy this morning.”

He took the hand she extended and shook it firmly. “It was my good deed for the day. I hear that those Healers at St. Mungo’s are the devil when they’ve got hold of you.”

“You’ve heard right.”

She took a daintier bite of her pizza and studied her good Samaritan. He had a handsome face, complimented by a close-cut mustache and goatee. His kinky black hair was peppered through with silver, although his warm, copper-colored skin was unlined. His hands were large for his height and his suit was smartly cut and fitted closely to his muscular body. It lacked the sort of flamboyant accents of color that Aaron favored--this was clearly a man who preferred to advertise his taste by its subtle excellence.

She swallowed the last bite of her first slice and decided she really ought to introduce herself. “I’m Miranda Rose, by the way.”

His golden eyes lit up like Christmas had come early. “Are you? I’ve been itching to meet you! Robert Walker, at your service.”

Miranda blinked once before laughing with surprise. “Likewise. I’m only sorry to have met you when I’m in such a state. You must think me weak as a kitten.”

“No, Aaron’s told me all about what happened. You’re a regular danger girl.”

“Robert! It’s good to see you,” Rachel said, balancing a tray on her hip while Maggie attempted to overturn it from her perch.

“How’s my second favorite Mama?” Robert stood to give Rachel a peck on the cheek and deftly remove her tray from Maggie’s flailing arms. He deposited it on the table, and flicked his wand towards an alcove, which brought a high chair floating towards them. There was a small fuss over getting Maggie settled and providing her with food to taste and throw on the floor before conversation could continue.

“Aaron will be sorry he missed the pleasure of formally introducing you to each other,” Rachel commented after her first bite of meatloaf.

“I’ll be sure to give him a hard time about it then,” Robert replied. “What year were you at Ilvermorny Miranda? I may call you Miranda, yes?”

“Sure, if I can call you Robert,” Miranda agreed easily.

“I wish that you would. You graduated in ’83, same as Aaron, if I remember right.”

“I did. Same house too.”

“That’s right. You were a little too old and a little too young to know any of my siblings then.”

“How many do you have?”

“Five.”

“I have four older brothers myself. All No-Majs though.”

“My, you are special! The only girl, the only witch, and the baby. Your brothers must’ve given you hell.”

“They did.” Maggie had finished gumming her crumbs of pizza, and Miranda gamely cut up a few more for her.

“Was Professor Rodriguez still stiff as a board when you were there?”

Miranda arched an eyebrow. “He was my head of House and my favorite teacher. I thought he was very personable. Did you not find him so?”

Robert shrugged, his attention apparently half on the game he was playing with the baby. Maggie was tossing her spoon on the floor and laughing delightedly when he sent it floating back up to her tray with a lazy wand flick. “He and I crossed wands from time to time. How’s motherhood treating you, Rachel?”

“It’s good! I’m exhausted and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s good. I’ve even been able to find time to get back to translating lately.”

“Your captive audience will be happy to hear that,” Miranda observed.

“Feel free to tell him that I’m starting with the potions text.” Rachel said before digging back into the meatloaf.

“If I may be so rude as to pry into something that’s probably not my business, how is your bill of health?” Robert asked, his attention still on the spoon-throwing baby.

“It’s getting there,” Miranda replied carefully. “Still not a hundred percent, but I think I’ll be cleared for light duty after Christmas.”

“You must be raring to go. How long have you been off?”

“Since October.”

“Long recoveries are the worst.” He charmed the spoon to twirl on its handle on Maggie’s highchair tray and turned the full force of his gaze back to Miranda. “I’m going to stop beating around the bush, since I’m sure that Aaron’s already tipped you off to the fact that I want to hire you.”

“He has mentioned it. What exactly do you want to hire me for?”

The glint in his eyes now reminded her more of a dragon than of Christmas. “I want a team of MACUSA Aurors, and I want you to be one of them. I’ll be partnering you with Aaron—I hear tell that the two of you are unstoppable.”

“Nobody’s unstoppable,” Miranda said lightly. “And I’ve never actually been an Auror. That was Aaron’s old line of work.”

“I’m aware of that, but you’ve got the experience. All I have to do is pull a few strings and we’ll have you vetted in no time.”

“What’s the assignment?”

“Primarily, you’ll be keeping an eye on our people in the UK. There’s all sorts of nasty things afoot these days, as I’m sure a smart lady like you is well aware. We’ll also be assisting Scrimegeour on a case-by-case basis.”

She finished her slice and studied Robert’s relaxed posture, finally understanding what Aaron meant when he said that the ambassador was ‘hard to read.’

“I’m going to be honest, I refuse to be deputized as an Auror. It’s a matter of principle.”

Robert let out a rumbling laugh and reassured her, “I expect we can work around that with a little creative thinking. May I send you a contract to look over?”

“Sure. Never hurts to look.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“Are you always this accommodating?”

“Only when it’s for someone worth having. And I anticipate that you will be well worth having.”

She couldn’t contain her smile. “Such flattery! No wonder you’re the ambassador.”

“You’ve found out my secret.” He stood and bowed to each of the ladies in turn. “Rachel, Miranda, Magdalene, thank you for your time and I hope you enjoy the rest of your afternoon. Look for an owl later this week, Miranda.”

“I will. Nice to meet you, Robert.”

He strolled off, meandering through the cafeteria and pausing to talk with various people. Miranda watched him until he was out of sight, turning his proposal over in her mind.

“What do you think of him?” Rachel asked, pulling Maggie out of the highchair and settling her down to nurse.

“He’s interesting, that’s for certain.”

“Are you going to take his offer?”

“I’ll think about it. I’m surprised that you let Aaron go back to the Auror life. I thought it was too dangerous for your liking.”

Rachel gave Maggie a finger to hold, and snuggled her a little closer. “I don’t really like it, but it’s true that these are dangerous times. We all have to do what we can to help. And I’d feel better knowing you were out there with him.”

“I meant what I said about not taking the Auror’s oath. Too many strings.”

“Sometimes strings aren’t a bad thing,” Rachel observed mildly. “The right ones can hold you up.”

“That may be true,” Miranda agreed, absently running a finger around the rim of her lemonade glass. “But the wrong ones can strangle you.”

*****

End Notes:

Severus is reading Arthur Koestler’s Darkness at Noon.

The vaudeville routine behind Miranda’s table is Bud Abbott and Lou Costello’s “Who’s on First?”

*****

libera nos a malo Masterpost+

Unstoppable Force/Immovable Object Masterpost+

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