#strong believer of autistic captain right here

[itsmultifandommadness]

Autistic!Cap fics my beloved

#i live for these #strong believer of autistic captain right here #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts the captain

[dellgirl]

Strong, Independent Female characters which I admire

Today I was asked to choose fictional people in pop culture I admire, why I admire them and how they would represent society (not verbatim) I gave about 6 females which I admire. I was then asked to narrow it down to just three. My list, which comprised of:

Wonder Woman

Captain Marvel

Lara Croft

Black Widow

Holtzmann

Hermione Granger

Luna Lovegood

I chose these because I like smart, independent types. The ones that are intelligent, independent, might be strong, not just mentally, but physically as well, who is seen as equal, sometimes better (like Lara Croft) than their male counterparts, who don't take any shit, who fight for what they believe in, (like Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, Black Widow) who don't back down, who are loyal, trustworthy, reliable, friendly, professional (like Morgan and Aubrey; The Spy Who Dumped Me) and don't have to have a relationship to be successful... Who are successful on their own merits - their own achievements, their own standings, who fight hard and prove people wrong (like The Ghostbusters) time and time again.

Those superheroes (with superpowers or not) are what appeals to me; not just their looks (bonus) but their intelligence and their outstanding behaviour and the way they throw stereotypes to the ground and fight for rights and adversity.

So I narrowed it down and was presented with 4 questions, which I've tried my best to answer. It has been a while since I saw the films the first two are from, so this is from memory... Also, these opinions are my own and may or may not include canons; if they don't, please don't come at me because "you're wrong, that's not true" this is my interpretation of the characters.

The questions, as previously mentioned, which I needed to answer:

1. Define who they are. What makes them the person they are? What are their motivations?

2. If they were real, what need would they fulfill in society? How would they really benefit mankind?

3. What groups do they represent in real society (autism, LGBT, women...etc)?

4. What real life lessons can people learn from them? How can real people emulate those fictional characters to benefit society?

I have chosen three women to focus on for being strong role models and I am drawn to these three women.

Wonder Woman, also known as Dianna, is a lovely goddess from the planet Themyscira. There are no men on the planet, which means that they have to learn to be strong because women need to be strong.

WW is determined to be a good example by helping others who need it the most. She is determined to save people and do it without the help of anyone - including men (Steve Trevor in particular)

She is motivated because she is a princess and wants to prove she is fit for the role, and not just by birth default. I would say that WW is bisexual, as she lives on a planet with only women, but when she meets Steve, she experiences that side of herself. She is also a Hufflepuff, because she is caring to all and wants the best for everyone.

In real life, she would fulfil the role of peacekeeper and provide others with the ability to fight against wars and inequality and bad behaviour. She'd stop the war and get Trump out of office, and fix Brexit.

WW can teach people the need to stand up for themselves - women need to trust in their own abilities and fight for equal right, equal pay and everyone should fight for peace.

Hermione Granger is a Muggle-born witch who attends Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry. She is a Gryffindor because she is loyal and courageous. She is loyal to her best friends Harry and Ron, but she is courageous because she helps them in their adventures, but she remains headstrong. Hermione is also bookish and wonderfully smart.

I would say that Hermione is asexual - she did kiss Harry, but it was a good luck thing, and although she danced with Viktor Krum, she has always been more interested in books than men; she does kiss Ron, but they've known each other for so long, they're more like siblings, so that kissed was forced and only given as a celebration of life over death.

Hermione, is very much High Functioning Autistic; she doesn't have sensory difficulties, as far as I can tell, but she does have other traits, such as the need to be right and social difficulties, she seems not to fit in with others, except for Harry and Ron; even being called a 'Mudblood' for being a Muggle-born and I think she has been called annoying in the books, just cos she's different. She is buried in her books and can rattle off information like nobody's business. The fact that she considers expulsion worse than death, means that she is obsessed with trying to do right and has to know everything - she has a Time Turner to attend multiple classes, meaning that she is a polymath. She struggles in social situations (but always tries) She only breaks the rules in her 5th year and explains that it feels good... Same as punching Draco because she had had enough of his belittlment, but she doesn't like hurting others.

In real life, Hermione would be a Humanitarian and she would learn everything there is to know about it to ensure that she does the best she can to help others understand what a Humanitarian is and how she can help others with things like equality and human rights.

People can use their knowledge for good and Hermione shows that being intelligent pays off, but there must be some give and take because otherwise you might become so wrapped up in your own head, that you don't have time for others. Loyalty is a huge factor in life and it pays to be trustworthy too.

And finally, I come to a character which I relate the most with - but that's not the only reason I chose her. I chose Jillian Holtzmann for a number of reasons.

I chose Holtzmann because she is intelligent and is fascinated in science things. She doesn't care that she's the odd one out, she revels in the fact. She only has three close friends, but better to have 3 close friends than 33 acquaintances. She doesn't get all social situations, but she tries to be in the conversation... Accidentally, she is sometimes the centre of attention, and yet, despite this, she knows when she needs to be quiet. She praised the girls when trapping the ghost, insofar as to tell Patty she needs to try harder, but she wants them all to do well, and she is so happy with the fact that they caught their first ghost, that she loudly announced "We put a ghost in a boooooox!" which indicates that she is entertained by the smallest of things.

Patty saved her life 3 times and she was grateful, but I know, if Erin was in the portal, she'd be in their saving her, a heartbeat; after all, that's her crush.

She's the mad scientist type - eccentric, wild, uncontrollable like a wildfire, but once she's found something of interest she hyperfocuses and gets the job done. She needs her friends for support but she doesn't need a relationship and almost mocks Erin for flirting with Kevin, comparing him to "a big ol' robot"

We know a lot more about Holtzy's sexuality and ability - she is a lesbian High Functioning Autistic with ADHD; those traits tend to go hand-in-hand. However, it appears that, despite Holtzy's high level of independence, and functioning in the real world, with little to no help, there are some sensory issues which she faces, which could adversely affect her abilities and processing skills.

We'll start with the most obvious one: the glasses. She has 4 pairs of yellow-coloured eye wear. She has her bottle-cap glasses, which are 1920s welding goggles, then she has more protective rounded welding goggles, circa 80s, and she has the big, almost pilot, almost Steampunk goggles, with loupes (double magnifying glasses) and these are the most practical of the lot. And finally, she has a pair, which are almost sunglasses, which she legit only wears for the Battle of Times Square. She needs them, especially her bottle-caps, for every day wear, due to her light sensitivity. (There is a highly interesting article, here, which explains the Autistic-ness of Holtzmann)

Whenever Patty yells, or Kevin hits the gong, she winds her neck in and pulls a face; she doesn't cover her ears like a neurotypical would, but it is evident that it is too loud. And in the Aldridge Manor, you can see the pain on her face from the APx-H shift.

Her impassioned speech, whilst heartfelt, contained physics metaphors - something which makes more sense to her, and it was very much without eye contact; something which can be uncomfortable for us Autistics, it doesn't mean we're not listening! She also seems to wear only comfy, almost loose-fitting clothing to allow for movement and comfort, with no scratchy labels. She chews her straw, sits with her feet up, or on the edge of her seat, spins on her stool and licks her guns; self-stimulatory behaviour.

Holtzmann, in real life, would obviously be a Nuclear Engineer, but we'd have to keep an eye on her so that she doesn't do any dodgy dealings and inadvertently get lead astray and into making weapons for the wrong side... Either that, or she'd go back to teaching Physics at a University.

Holtzmann is a mix of all 4 Hogwarts Houses, but the main 2 traits she has stem from Hufflepuff (her creativity and hyperfocus) and Ravenclaw (her intelligence - IQ of 163 - her multiple degrees and PhD and the fact that she is also a polymath, like Hermione - I think they'd be very good friends!)

Holtzmann would teach us about humility, courage, perseverance and finding the best of a situation and of course, the joy in the little things.

All 3 of these share similar thoughts and attributes - they're all loyal, friendly and work hard to achieve what they want. They don't need romantic relationships to survive and in fact, due to their independent nature, they would probably do better without them. They would teach others to be independent and to follow their heart, not comprising their own sense of justice or understanding of the world to conform to others. They would teach about human rights, actively focusing on diversity and equality; making sure that, as women, we don't strive for second best and that we work towards a better future, by providing opportunities and tools for the younger generation; in particular, females. All three, therefore, are excellent role models and are all unique, but also highly similar in the way they think and present themselves.

I hope this makes sense, answers the questions enough (I know they won't be answered fully as my brain capacity is limited today; infoxication and all that - and yes 'infoxication' is a real word... Click it to discover what it means!)

And I hope there are others, who may have similar thoughts to myself; I know I can't please everyone, but even if you disagree, I hope you like my writing style... Apparently, it's rather eloquent!

Also, I am sorry for the length of this post, and that, in actual fact, it is my only text post, which isn't just and agreement on someone else's post which I have reblogged.

I suppose tags would be helpful too.

#wonderwoman #strongwomen #independentwomen #fiction #jillianholtzmann #hermionegranger #charactersiadmire #marvel #dc #harrypotter #ghostbusters #thespywhodumpedme #laracroft

[yesgalaxies]

Maybe This Time (She Gets the Girl) ~ B99 fic

Pairing: Rosa x Amy (pre-relationship) Word count: ~ 850w. Summary: She just fixes Gina, never blinking, until the other woman deigns to look up from her phone "I think I have a crush on Santiago.”

Note: This is my first time writing for this fandom! I apologize if this is extremely ooc. It’s just an idea I got during my lunch break and I rolled with it. 

(I also want to write autistic B99 fic in the future (after I finish the WIPs I’m currently working on). Anything you'd want to read?)

READ IT ON AO3

Rosa enters the breakroom and closes the door swiftly behind her. Without a word, the detective plops herself down on the chair in front of Gina and waits. Rosa doesn’t even acknowledge Terry who’s eating his yogurt by the sink. She just fixes Gina, never blinking, until the other woman deigns to look up from her phone.

“What? I’m a little busy here,” Gina drones, dragging out every syllable a little longer than truly necessary.

As soon as they make eye contact Rosa, blurts out in a complete, emotionless manner, “I think I have a crush on Santiago.”

The sergeant drops his spoon in the sink; metal clanking loudly against the stainless steel.

“Whoo, alright…” Gina perks up; she is definitely here for that. She puts her phone, screen down, on the table and places one hand atop the other, before leaning forward. She stares at Rosa with a creepy, all-knowing smile that makes the detective shudder on the inside.

Before any of the two women could say anything else, Terry retreats to the bullpen, mumbling a barely audible, “Excuse me, there’s somewhere else I got to be,” as he leaves. The sergeant knows better than to stay, lest he wants to be pulled into the conversation against his will. He likes Rosa, he really does, but romantic affair his not his thing.  

“So strong, yet so weak,” Gina says, shaking her head in judgment.

The door slams shut behind him, and Rosa stands up abruptly, sending her chair skidding backward. Coming in here, talking to Gina was a dumb idea. Rosa has absolutely no idea why she has admitted her attraction to Santiago to her of all people. It’s not like they are friends (are they?). Confessing to the captain would have make more sense now that Rosa thinks of it. At least Holt wouldn’t mock her. She knows because they actually have talked about that kind of thing before.

“Rosa, sit down. Please, tell me more, tell me more,” Gina presses, waving her fingers out in front of her.

Rosa rolls her eyes but does sit albeit with reluctance. She crosses her arms in front of her.

“This is ridiculous. I don’t know why I told you,” she says honestly.

“Because, I’m like, the goddess of love. People confess that stuff to me all the time. Now, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but enough about me. You. Amy. That’s what I want to hear about, come on.”

“I saw these fancy paperclips at the store. 5$ for like, twelve of them. I bought them,” Rosa sort of explains.

“Wow, if I had known this story was gonna be so riveting I would’ve asked Charles to get me some popcorn, ”Gina says, getting bored. “You’re gonna have to elaborate on that, girl.”

“Because they made me think of Amy, and I wasn’t even annoyed I was acting so...gross,” she adds, definitely sounding annoyed now. “Then I could picture that pretty smile she gets when she talks about new binder clips, you know, the one that makes her eyes all bright?”

Gina just stares at her, openly disgusted by the words coming out of the detective’s mouth.

“Whatever,” Rosa continues, choosing to ignore Gina’s expression, “you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, it led me to think about her laugh. I like the sound of her laugh, even though laughing is stupid. Point is...everything I hate, I don’t mind when it comes to Amy. I think I even like it.”

Gina shivers. “Damn, Rosa, I think you are in love with Amy.”

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t even know if she likes women. She probably doesn’t.” There’s a resolute finality to the way she pronounces those last words. Rosa has spent her teenage years and early adulthood crushing on girls who would never consider her a possibility. She is used to her feelings being unrequited, never takes it personally, but it doesn’t mean it does not suck.

“I can help you find out.” Gina leans back in her chair, turning her head towards the door but keeping her eyes on the detective. She shouts, “Amy! Rosa wants to know if you are into sexy times with sexy ladies.”

Ten pairs of eyes turn into their direction at once as an awkward silence falls over the 99 precinct. Rosa scans the room behind the window; something akin to relief floods through her when she doesn’t see Santiago.

Placing both her palms flat on the table, the detective hisses through clenched teeth, “I am gonna murder you.”

“Oh, I’m so scared,” Gina replies sarcastically. “Police. Police.” The red-head rolls her eyes.  “Relax, Diaz. Amy likes you too.”

“Right. How would you know?” Skepticism mixed with a slice of hope colour her voice.

Gina shrugs, her eyes once again glued to her phone, “I basically had the same conversation with her last week.”

“What?”

“That girl is living under the rainbow flag,” she says, raising her hands above her head, forming the shape of a rainbow, “and it got the name Rosa all over it.”

Rosa’s lips twitch upward. She gets up and leaves without another word.

“You’re welcome,” Gina drawls.

#b99 #b99 fic #gina linetti #rosa diaz #rosa x amy #I wrote a thing #bisexual rosa diaz

[yainterrobang]

The Top Eleven #quietYA of March

I get asked often what, exactly, #quietYA is. The traditional definition is about books that aren’t very action packed and slower paced, but I use it to talk about books that are not bestsellers, not award winners, and that don’t have any kind of book or TV deal. So often, the same books are discussed over and over again and unfortunately, books fall through the cracks. But I believe that every book published is needed by someone and I want to create the best possible chance to get those books in hands.

#quietYA is my attempt to make that happen.

Here are eleven #quietYA books that released this month that you might have missed.

Garden of Thorns by Amber Mitchell Publisher: Entangled Teen Release date: March 6 After seven grueling years of captivity in the Garden — a burlesque troupe of slave girls — Rose finds an opportunity to escape during a performance for the emperor. But the hostage she randomly chose from the crowd to aid her isn’t one of the emperor’s men—he’s the former heir to the throne, who is now leading a rebellion against it. Rayce is a wanted man and dangerously charismatic, the worst person for Rose to get involved with, no matter what his smile promises. But he assumes Rose’s attempt to take him hostage is part of a plot to crush the rebellion, so he takes her as his hostage. Now Rose must prove where her loyalties lie, and she offers Rayce a deal—if he helps her rescue the other girls, she’ll tell him all the Garden’s secrets. Except the one secret she’s kept for seven years that she’ll take to her grave if she must.

Secrets of a Reluctant Princess by Casey Griffin Publisher: Entangled Teen Release date: March 7 Adrianna Bottom always wanted to be liked. But this wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. Now, she’s in the spotlight…and out of her geeky comfort zone. She’ll do whatever it takes to turn the rumor mill in her favor—even if it means keeping secrets. So far, it’s working. Kevin, the adorable sketch artist who shares her love of all things nerd, isn’t exactly the right people. But that doesn’t stop Adrianna from crushing on him. The only way she can spend time with him is in disguise, as Princess Andy, the masked girl he’s been LARPing with. If he found out who she really was, though, he’d hate her.

The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco Publisher: Sourcebooks Release date: March 7 Tea is different from the other witches in her family. Her gift for necromancy makes her a bone witch, who are feared and ostracized in the kingdom. For theirs is a powerful, elemental magic that can reach beyond the boundaries of the living—and of the human. Great power comes at a price, forcing Tea to leave her homeland to train under the guidance of an older, wiser bone witch. There, Tea puts all of her energy into becoming an asha, learning to control her elemental magic and those beasts who will submit by no other force. And Tea must be strong—stronger than she even believes possible. Because war is brewing in the eight kingdoms, war that will threaten the sovereignty of her homeland…and threaten the very survival of those she loves.

You're Welcome, Universe by Whitney Gardner Publisher: Knopf Release date: March 7 When Julia finds a slur about her best friend scrawled across the back of the Kingston School for the Deaf, she covers it up with a beautiful (albeit illegal) graffiti mural. Her supposed best friend snitches, the principal expels her, and her two mothers set Julia up with a one-way ticket to a “mainstream” school in the suburbs, where she’s treated like an outcast as the only deaf student. The last thing she has left is her art, and not even Banksy himself could convince her to give that up. Out in the ’burbs, Julia paints anywhere she can, eager to claim some turf of her own. But Julia soon learns that she might not be the only vandal in town. Someone is adding to her tags, making them better, showing off—and showing Julia up in the process. She expected her art might get painted over by cops. But she never imagined getting dragged into a full-blown graffiti war.

Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde Publisher: Swoon Reads Release date: March 14 Charlie likes to stand out. SupaCon is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star, Reese Ryan. When Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought. While Charlie dodges questions about her personal life, Taylor starts asking questions about her own. Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about the Queen Firestone SupaFan Contest, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

Hunted by Meagan Spooner Publisher: HarperTeen Release date: March 14 Beauty knows the Beast’s forest in her bones—and in her blood. Though she grew up with the city’s highest aristocrats, far from her father’s old lodge, she knows that the forest holds secrets and that her father is the only hunter who’s ever come close to discovering them. So when her father loses his fortune and moves Yeva and her sisters back to the outskirts of town, Yeva is secretly relieved. Out in the wilderness, there’s no pressure to make idle chatter with vapid baronessas…or to submit to marrying a wealthy gentleman. But Yeva’s father’s misfortune may have cost him his mind, and when he goes missing in the woods, Yeva sets her sights on one prey: the creature he’d been obsessively tracking just before his disappearance.

Shadow Run by Michael Miller and AdriAnne Strickland Publisher: Delacorte Press Release date: March 21 Nev has just joined the crew of the starship Kaitan Heritage as the cargo loader. His captain, Qole, is the youngest-ever person to command her own ship, but she brooks no argument from her crew of orphans, fugitives, and con men. Nev can't resist her, even if her ship is an antique. As for Nev, he's a prince, in hiding on the ship. He believes Qole holds the key to changing galactic civilization, and when her cooperation proves difficult to obtain, Nev resolves to get her to his home planet by any means necessary. But before they know it, a rival royal family is after Qole too, and they're more interested in stealing her abilities than in keeping her alive. Nev's mission to manipulate Qole becomes one to save her, and to survive, she'll have to trust her would-be kidnapper. He may be royalty, but Qole is discovering a deep reservoir of power--and stars have mercy on whoever tries to hurt her ship or her crew.

Dead Little Mean Girl by Eva Darrows Publisher: HarlequinTeen Release date: March 28 A proud geek girl, Emma loves her quiet life on the outskirts, playing video games and staying off the radar. When her nightmare of a new stepsister moves into the bedroom next door, her world is turned upside down. Quinn is a queen bee with a nasty streak who destroys anyone who gets in her way. Teachers, football players, her fellow cheerleaders—no one is safe. Emma wants nothing more than to get this girl out of her life, but when Quinn dies suddenly, Emma realizes there was more to her stepsister than anyone ever realized.

Blood Rose Rebellion by Rosalyn Eves Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers Release date: March 28 Sixteen-year-old Anna Arden is barred from society by a defect of blood. Though her family is part of the Luminate, powerful users of magic, she is Barren, unable to perform the simplest spells. Anna would do anything to belong. But her fate takes another course when, after inadvertently breaking her sister’s debutante spell—an important chance for a highborn young woman to show her prowess with magic—Anna finds herself exiled to her family’s once powerful but now crumbling native Hungary. Her life might well be over. In Hungary, Anna discovers that nothing is quite as it seems. Not the people around her, from her aloof cousin Noémi to the fierce and handsome Romani Gábor. Not the society she’s known all her life, for discontent with the Luminate is sweeping the land. And not her lack of magic. Isolated from the only world she cares about, Anna still can’t seem to stop herself from breaking spells. As rebellion spreads across the region, Anna’s unique ability becomes the catalyst everyone is seeking. In the company of nobles, revolutionaries, and Romanies, Anna must choose: deny her unique power and cling to the life she’s always wanted, or embrace her ability and change that world forever.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman Publisher: HarperTeen Release date: March 28 Frances Janvier spends most of her time studying. Everyone knows Aled Last as that quiet boy who gets straight As. You probably think that they are going to fall in love or something. Since he is a boy and she is a girl.They don’t. They make a podcast. In a world determined to shut them up, knock them down, and set them on a cookie cutter life path, Frances and Aled struggle to find their voices over the course of one life-changing year. Will they have the courage to show everyone who they really are? Or will they be met with radio silence?

Things I Should Have Known by Claire LaZebnik Publisher: HMH Books for Young Readers Release date: March 28 Chloe Mitchell is a Los Angeles girl on a quest to find love for her autistic sister, Ivy. Ethan, from Ivy’s class, seems like the perfect match. It’s unfortunate that his older brother, David, is one of Chloe’s least favorite people, but Chloe can deal, especially when she realizes that David is just as devoted to Ethan as she is to Ivy.

Every month, I like to highlight one back list book as well as the recent releases, because back list books need love too! This month's pick is Stork by Wendy Delsol

Stork by Wendy Delsol Publisher: Candlewick Release date: October 12 2010 Sixteen-year-old Katla LeBlanc has just moved from Los Angeles to Minnesota. As if it weren’t enough that her trendy fashion sense draws stares, Katla soon finds out that she’s a Stork, a member of a mysterious order of women tasked with a very unique duty. But Katla’s biggest challenge may be finding her flock at a new school. Between being ignored by Wade, the arrogant jock she stupidly fooled around with, and constantly arguing with gorgeous farm boy and editor-in-chief Jack, Katla is relieved when her assignment as the school paper’s fashion columnist brings with it some much-needed friendship. But as Homecoming approaches, Katla uncovers a shocking secret about her past — a secret that binds her fate to Jack’s in a way neither could have ever anticipated. With a nod to Hans Christian Andersen and inspired by Norse lore, Wendy Delsol’s debut novel introduces a hip and witty heroine who finds herself tail-feathers deep in small-town life.

#ya lit #ya books #shadow run #radio silence #the bone witch #list of the week #list #quietya

[unlessimwrongwhichyouknowimnot]

Autistic Martin Crieff (Cabin Pressure)

Martin Crieff is the captain for MJN Air, the airdot in the BBC radio series Cabin Pressure. He is voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch (and, for one episode when Benedict was sick, by Tom Goodman-Hill).

Martin is so very obviously autistic and the examples below will show you why I think that. I had to cut out a lot of the examples I found, so that the post wouldn’t be insanely long. Though, it’s 11 pages in my word document, so maybe it’s already insanely long. 

Arthur Shappey, another character on the show, is also very obviously autistic. You can find my post about him here.

The traits focused on were taken from this list of Inclusive Autistic Traits.

All examples below were taken from transcripts at this website.

Social 

1. Differences in body language and nonverbal communication

I don’t really have examples for this one due to it being a radio show, but there is a running joke on the show that people don’t recognize Martin as captain (even when he’s wearing his uniform) because he doesn’t look like one. This could possible be an example of how Martin’s body language/nonverbal communication is different than allistics.

 2. Differences in verbal communication (Martin struggles with communicating with others, will take things literally, and has occasional moments of echolalia. He’s very insistent that Air Traffic Control uses the appropriate scripts when communicating.)

A. Different use of literal and metaphorical language

 1x03 – Cremona

MARTIN: And these are the altimeters. HESTER: Really? They sound like a nice middle-class couple, don’t they?! (She and Douglas laugh. Martin chuckles nervously.) MARTIN: How-how-how d’you mean? HESTER: You know: oh, do come in, lovely to see you. Now, have you met the Altimeters? MARTIN: Ohh!  (He laughs falsely.) I see! Yes, that’s very good!  (He laughs falsely again.) Yes, the Altimeters! (More false laughter.) Mrs and Mr. Altimeter!  (Putting on a deeper voice) I’m-I’m-I’m Greg Altimeter and-and-and this is my wife, Katherine Altimeter! (He laughs again, snorting in the middle of his laughter before trailing off.)

~*~*~*~

MARTIN: What a lovely woman. DOUGLAS: Oh, did you like her? You seemed rather cool and distant. MARTIN (anxiously): Oh, no! Did I? Really? DOUGLAS: No.

 3x03 – Newcastle

LINDA: Hello, sorry to intrude. It’s … the conversation back there was getting a little heated. MARTIN: Oh no, you’re welcome. It’s lovely to see you and very nice to … see you. LINDA: Thank you, Martin. MARTIN: So, Linda, you’re a pilot. LINDA: Yes. MARTIN: Yes, obviously. Sorry. That wasn’t a question. That was just a preliminary statement before the actual question that I was going to ask, which is: how long have you been a pilot? LINDA: Twelve years. MARTIN: Twelve years, right. Twelve years. Well, that’s not a long time or a short time. Umm, do you like it? LINDA: What? MARTIN: Being a pilot. LINDA: Yes, I do. Do you? MARTIN: Yes, I do. I like it, like you. I mean, I like it like you do, not I like it like I like you. I don’t like you. I mean, I don’t not like you, I just, I don’t like you as much as I like being a pilot. LINDA: Don’t you? MARTIN: Well, not yet. I mean, I’m sure if I got to know you, I’d like you more than being … well, probably not more than, because I love being a pilot and I don’t suppose I’d love you … well, I suppose I might … no, I mean, I’m just gonna go and have a wander down the cabin now. (He leaves the flight deck.) LINDA: Is he always like that? DOUGLAS: No. He’s not terribly good at talking to other pilots, I’m afraid. LINDA: Oh. I thought it was because I was a woman. DOUGLAS: And he’s atrocious at talking to women, so I’m afraid you represent something of a Perfect Storm.

 3x05 – Rotterdam

MARTIN: Carolyn, I really feel I ought to do the welcome message. I mean, after all, I am the captain. People want to hear from the captain. They find it reassuring. CAROLYN: Martin, when has anyone ever found you reassuring? MARTIN: That’s not fair! CAROLYN: Look, I’m sorry, but this needs to be calm, relaxed and authoritative – none of which, I’m afraid, are qualities for which you are famous. DOUGLAS: Mind you, they’re terribly hard qualities to find. MARTIN (anything but calmly): I am calm! I’m very, very calm – and authoritative, and-and, er, the other one. What was the other one? I can do that as well, whatever it was. DOUGLAS: Relaxed? MARTIN (frantically): Yes! I’m very relaxed! CAROLYN: All right. Give it your best shot. MARTIN: Er, what, now? CAROLYN: Practice run. Fade up on Captain Martin Crieff at the controls … (Martin whimpers.) CAROLYN: He turns to the camera engagingly and says … MARTIN: I’m not ready! CAROLYN: And blackout! MARTIN: What? No! CAROLYN: Thank you, Martin. We’ll let you know. MARTIN: No-no-no, wait-wait-wait! Okay.  (He clears his throat.) I’m ready now. CAROLYN: Okay. Go. MARTIN (calmly): Hello. Welcome to MJN Air.  (His calmness immediately begins to disintegrate.) M-m-my name is Captain Martin Crieff, though that doesn’t matter – it’s all very informal here. Just call me Martin … well, in the context of this video, anyway. If you actually see me in person, it’s probably best you do call me CaptainCrieff, or just Captain. It’s just protocol, I’m afraid, um, but if it was up to me you could call me … ‘Marty’. (Slight pause.) No, no, actually, no, no, let’s not confuse things: definitely don’t ever call me ‘Marty’. Right, so, to recap: hello. I am Captain Martin Captain … Captain Crieff, Crieff, I mean! Can we start again?

 4x01 – Timbuktu

MARTIN (into radio): Fitton Tower, this is Golf Echo Romeo Tango India established on the ILS. FITTON ATC (over radio): ’Ello, ’ello, is it a bird, is it a plane? No! It’s … oh, no wait, it is technically a plane. DOUGLAS: Hello, Karl. MARTIN: Fitton Tower, please confine air traffic communications to standard phraseology.

KARL: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wind two eighty at eight; Runway three-six clear to land; all the usual jazz. MARTIN: Roger. Clear to land, three-six. KARL: So-o-o, did you have a lovely time in Luton? DOUGLAS: How could one not? It’s a palace of pleasure. MARTIN: I mean, seriously, you’re really not meant to just chat on this thing!

 4x02 – Uskerty 

ARTHUR: Okay. Er, ooh, and Douglas, um, storm warning. DOUGLAS: Ah. Thank you, Arthur. What gale force? ARTHUR: Er, what does it go up to again? Is it, is it ten? DOUGLAS: Twelve. ARTHUR: I’d say … eight. DOUGLAS: Oh dear. MARTIN: No, I-I-I’ve just picked up the weather. There’s lots of rain, but no storms. DOUGLAS: We’re not talking about the weather.

 B. Different use of speech (echolalia, difficulty speaking under stress, etc.)

1x02 – Boston

DOUGLAS: How did it go? MARTIN: Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.

 1x03 – Cremona

(Martin is practicing how to greet a movie star they’ll be flying.)

MARTIN (in an over-the-top grovelling voice): Good morning, madam, and welc… No, ‘ma’am’. Good morning, ma’am, and welc… No, she’s not the Queen! Um … good morning, Ms Macauley and w… No, ‘madam’.

How Martin actually greets her:

MARTIN: Yes! Hello! Er, good morning, Ms Madam, and wel… Ma-Madam Macauley, Ms Ma’am, Mmm, Ms Macauley.

1x04 – Douz

MARTIN: But why? Why? I mean … why?  Why?

 3. Differences in interactions and relationships

(Martin struggles with how he relates to others and how he interacts with others.)

2x05 – Kuala Lumpar

MARTIN: Why didn’t you tell me about it? DOUGLAS: Well, we were just waiting for you to settle in – you know, get comfortable with everyone. MARTIN: I’ve been here a year and a half! DOUGLAS: And we’re still waiting.

~*~*~*~

DOUGLAS: Don’t be so melodramatic. No-one drinks when they’re on duty. It’s just a bit of fun. It’s more about the secret club atmosphere – you know, like at school. MARTIN: Not at my school. DOUGLAS: Oh, come on! You must have had secret clubs in the lunch break at least! MARTIN: No, actually. People weren’t really around during lunch break. I think they went home or … (He trails off.) MARTIN: Oh.

 3x03 – Newcastle

LINDA: Have we met before?

MARTIN: I don’t think so, no. People haven’t usually met me before. LINDA: Sorry? MARTIN: I mean, they’ve-they’ve normally met Douglas before if they’ve met anyone. I mean, obviously the people who’ve met me before have met me before, but there aren’t many of those because I-I haven’t … met … most people.

Sensory

 1. Differences in sensory sensitivity

2x03 – Ipswich

MARTIN: Er, as I believe I mentioned before, I have a slight abnormality of the inner ear. It’s-it’s perfectly air-worthy, but it means I, um, I-I-I-I-I black out if I get dizzy.

 4x04 – Wokingham

(Martin really really hates being lifted into the air by his brother.)

SIMON: Martin! Come here, chap! MARTIN: Oh, no, don’t … SIMON: Big hug! MARTIN: Mmm, it’s-it’s very nice to see you too, Simon. SIMON: No, no, no, none of that. Big hug. (Martin whimpers and groans, his voice muffled.) WENDY (fondly): Ahh, lovely! MARTIN (muffled): It’s not lovely! SIMON: Ooh, it’s good to see you, eh? MARTIN (muffled): Don’t lift me up! SIMON: And up he goes! MARTIN: No! SIMON: Whee! MARTIN: Put me down! SIMON: He’s flying! Whee! MARTIN: Put me down! Put me down! 

~*~*~*~

SIMON: Good lord! Is it? Anyway – hug? MARTIN: No, no, no. I’ll crease my uniform – my captain’s uniform. SIMON: Ooh, I don’t think so. Looks pretty polyester-tastic to me.  Come ’ere! MARTIN (muffled, protesting): Don’t lift me. Please, don’t lift me. SIMON: And up we go! (The doorbell rings and the door is opened. Martin continues to protest in a muffled voice.)  DOUGLAS: Have I got the right house? MARTIN (muffled): Put me down!  Put me down!

 2. Strong enjoyment, desire, or need for certain types of sensory input. Demonstrated by stimming (self-stimulation) behaviour.

 3x02 – Paris

(The ‘him’ Arthur is referring to is Mr. Birling, a passenger, and the ‘you’ is Martin. Martin’s whining could be a form of verbal stimming due to stress.)

ARTHUR: I poured him a glass of whiskey; he tasted it, said it was horrible. I called for you; you came; you did that funny thing with your throat … DOUGLAS: What funny thing? ARTHUR: Oh, you know, the sort of … (he makes a high-pitched panicked whining sound).

 Cognitive

 1. Strength of focus and rigidity 

A. Intense focus and interests

(Martin’s lifelong special interest is airplanes, and to a certain extent, the rules and procedures involved in flying airplanes.)

2x01 – Helsinki 

MARTIN (laughing): Well, I doubt it, actually. I’ve also got Flight Simulator. KIERAN: Oh, which edition? MARTIN (hesitantly): … Ninety-five. KIERAN: And how often do you train on it? DOUGLAS: Play on it. MARTIN: Most days. DOUGLAS: Hang on, hang on, Martin. You come home after ten or twelve hours’ flying an aeroplane and then, to wind down, you sit in front of a computer and pretend to fly an aeroplane?

~*~*~*~

KIERAN: Er … (he clears his throat) … well. Let me start by getting an idea of your hinterland. What are your outside interests? MARTIN (slowly): Outside of what? KIERAN: Outside flying. MARTIN: Outside flying? KIERAN: Yes. MARTIN: You mean, what else am I interested in apart from flying?

 2x03 – Ipswich

DR. DUNCAN: Now then, I want to talk to you today about the potentially dangerous mind sets a pilot can get themselves into; and in particular what are known as the Six Deadly I’s. These are … MARTIN (instantly): Impatience, Impulsivity, Invulnerability, Insecurity, Indecision, and I-Know-Best. 

~*~*~*~

DR. DUNCAN: All right. Individual questions now. Martin: how are the passenger oxygen masks activated? MARTIN (promptly): Automatically by a barometric pressure switch when the cabin altitude is fourteen thousand feet; or when the Pass Oxygen switch on the overhead panel is positioned to ‘On’.

 2x05 – Kuala Lumpar

MARTIN: It wouldn’t be for lounging in. It would be for our briefings; doing our log books. I thought maybe each month one of us could present a paper on some aspect of aviation that interests us.

~*~*~*~

MARTIN: Tell you what, though, George, er, you’ll be interested in this. You know that little Cherokee that was out doing circuits today? Well, on his third landing, he … (Cries of “Ohh!” from everyone, as someone repeatedly rings a bell behind the bar.) GEORGE, DAVE and OTHERS: Oh, shop!  (This gradually turns into a chant of “Shop, shop, shop, shop!”) MARTIN (anxiously): What’s going on?! What have I done?! DAVE: Talkin’ shop, Skip. Sorry – automatic round forfeit. MARTIN: What?! DOUGLAS: Flap and Throttle house rules, I’m afraid, Martin. Anyone caught talking shop has to buy a round for the whole bar. MARTIN: Then, how d’you talk about flying? GEORGE: Well, you can’t, can you? That’s the point. MARTIN: So what d’you talk about? DAVE: I dunno! Music, sport, women! GEORGE: The meanin’ o’ life.  Anything but bloody planes, eh? MARTIN: Yes. Yeah, of course.  (Sadly, his voice getting quieter) Yeah, who wants to talk about stupid … aviation?

~*~*~*~

MARTIN: So, I mean, I-I was within limits but it was a ticklish little crosswind – sixty, sixty-five, but gusting seventy – and I thought to myself, ‘Well, I have seven options here …’ DAVE (despairingly): Seven. MARTIN: Ah! Quite right, Dave, yes! Eight.  (He chuckles.) You see, I’d been given the one-nine runway but … d-d’you know the airport at Nice? DAVE: No. MARTIN: Oh well, I’ll just explain the layout. They’ve got this very … DAVE: Look, I mean yes. Yes. I do know it. MARTIN: Are you sure? Because you really won’t understand this story if you don’t. I’ll just refresh your memory. There’s a very odd …

~*~*~*~ 

MARTIN: Well, it doesn’t matter – he’s here now. Come and join us, Arthur. I was, er, just telling Dave about the landing into Nice. ARTHUR: Ooh, what about the talking shop forfeit? MARTIN: Oh, I’ve paid for that. DAVE: Yeah, yeah. He bought me a drink. So now he can talk about flying … (he tries to suppress a sigh) … as much as he likes.

 4x01 – Timbuktu

MARTIN: Do take your time, Douglas. Still everything to play for.  (Gleefully) I’m only twenty-six points ahead of your three points!  (He giggles.) But-but I have every confidence you’re about to come roaring back! DOUGLAS: Yes, all right. MARTIN: But I am gonna have to press you for an answer, I’m afraid. DOUGLAS (sulkily): I don’t know. At twenty thousand feet, I suppose about two hundred knots? MARTIN: Ooh, what a pity! It’s a lovely guess, but I’m afraid the answer on the card was two hundred and four knots! I win again! So that’s Martin on twenty-nine; Douglas … oh! Still on three … (he chuckles) … as we head into round two. DOUGLAS: That was one round?! MARTIN: Oh, don’t worry, don’t worry. Round two’s much more fun. We say a fond farewell to the flight manual … DOUGLAS: Thank God. MARTIN: … and we welcome instead our very good friend the operations manual! DOUGLAS (protesting): No! No, I’m sorry, I’m done. MARTIN: No-no, fair’s fair, Douglas. You promised if I joined in with Flight Deck Buckaroo, I could pick the next game. DOUGLAS: But I hate this game! MARTIN: Yes, and I hate Flight Deck Buckaroo. DOUGLAS: How can you hate Flight Deck Buckaroo? It’s a terrific game!  And it’s educational. MARTIN: There is nothing educational about seeing who can disable the most instruments without setting off the recorded warning. DOUGLAS: Yes there is! You find out all the things you don’t really need! Like altimeters. MARTIN: No, this is educational. So, welcome to round two of Beat the Manuals!

 4x06 – Yverdon-les-Bains 

DEROCHE: So we invited you to take a sim check and a technical exam. MARTIN: Yes! DEROCHE: Yes. Your results are rather curious reading. In your simulator exam, you were rated ‘adequate’ … MARTIN: Oh! Good! DEROCHE: No, ‘adequate’. But in your technical knowledge exam … MARTIN: Yes? DEROCHE: … you got ninety-nine percent. MARTIN: Oh, good. That is good, isn’t it? DEROCHE (hesitantly): … Yes. OSKAR: Kind of amazing, actually, because the test is designed to return scores of between forty and sixty percent. No-one’s ever got more than eighty-four percent. MARTIN: Really? … (Thoughtfully) Ninety-nine percent. So I got a question wrong? DEROCHE: Yes. MARTIN: Which one? DEROCHE: Er, “What increase in landing distance is required for a flap-thirty landing with auto spoilers inoperable?” MARTIN (instantly): Seven hundred and thirty feet. DEROCHE: That’s … the right answer, yes. You put a hundred and thirty. MARTIN (snorting derisively): I don’t think I did! DEROCHE: You … you did. Look. MARTIN: No! That’s a seven! DEROCHE: Oh. … Well, then you got a hundred percent.  (Martin sighs happily.)

~*~*~*~

DEROCHE: There are questions that are designed to be unanswerable without consulting the manual. They’re there for us to see how candidates cope under stress. MARTIN: But I learned the manual. OSKAR: You … learned it? MARTIN: Yes! DEROCHE: That’s impossible. It’s-it’s six hundred pages long. MARTIN: I know – it took me ages. OSKAR: But some of the questions weren’t even about our aircraft. MARTIN: No, but those ones were easy. They were just general knowledge. DEROCHE: We asked you which aircraft type KLM added in the winter of nineteen forty-eight! MARTIN: Exactly! The Convair two-forty! Any twelve year old could tell you that!

 Zurich – Part One

CAROLYN: Oh! Unless I can interest either of you in buying a sunbleached print of two Spitfires fighting in a clear green sky. Martin? Obviously I’m mainly looking to you.  MARTIN: Er, no thank you, Carolyn; and that one’s not a Spitfire. CAROLYN: How can you tell? MARTIN (quick fire for the first part of the sentence): Well, partly because of the wing shape, fuselage and markings, but mainly because Spitfires didn’t fight each other.

 B. Preference for routine and sameness

 1x01 – Abu Dhabi

MARTIN: I can’t. You’re in my seat. DOUGLAS: Your seat? You have a seat? MARTIN: Yes. DOUGLAS: In Carolyn’s car? MARTIN: The front seat is my seat. DOUGLAS: What, did you call shotgun? MARTIN: I don’t need to call shotgun. I’m the captain. DOUGLAS: The captain gets the front seat in the aircraft, Martin, because he’s driving it – not in any vehicle he happens to be in. MARTIN: I always sit in the front seat in the taxi.

 Christmas Special – Molokai

MARTIN: Well, there’s always an orange in a Christmas stocking! And chocolate coins!  And a sugar mouse. Everyone knows that.

 4x06 – Yverdon-les-Bains

OSKAR: Okay, show me. Suppose you’re all ready to take off. Suddenly you realise: oh no! You’ve left your licence at home. What do you do? MARTIN: Oh, that’s easy. OSKAR: Yes? MARTIN: That wouldn’t happen. OSKAR: Okay. But if it did? MARTIN: But it wouldn’t. No, my licence is in a special inside pocket of my flight bag. I never take it out except at Customs; and I check it’s there on leaving my home, on getting into my car, on leaving my car, on entering the terminal, on leaving the terminal, and on entering the aircraft. OSKAR: Why do you do that if you never take it out? MARTIN: So that I can never leave it at home. OSKAR: Okay, but say this time, somehow, you have. MARTIN (laughing in disbelief): But how?!  OSKAR: Somehow – for the sake of argument. (Martin sighs in frustration.) MARTIN (unhappily): All right. OSKAR: What would you do? MARTIN: Well, I would immediately inform the captain what had happened, apologise profusely, explain how literally impossible it is that this has happened … OSKAR: … but that it has happened … MARTIN: … but that … (he sighs) … for the sake of argument, it has happened, and then I would go home and get it.

OSKAR: Okay, great. So Élise is your captain – tell her. MARTIN: Okay. Um …  (He clears his throat.) Captain Duhrrrosh-sh … Élise.  (He coughs.) I’m very sorry, but I have – for the sake of argument – left my licence at home. DEROCHE: You fool! Never mind – we’ll go without it. MARTIN: Obviously we can’t do that, Captain, because it would be illegal … DEROCHE (talking over him): Nonsense. The flight is within Europe; your airline I.D. will do. MARTIN: Yes, but I’m afraid I left that behind as well. DEROCHE: No you didn’t, or you wouldn’t have been allowed to board the plane. MARTIN: Well, I must have done, because I keep my I.D. card in the same pocket. OSKAR: But for the sake of argument, you didn’t. MARTIN (tetchily): Fine!  (Through gritted teeth) Very strange argument.  (To Élise) Still, I don’t have a licence and it’s illegal to fly without a licence. DEROCHE: Technically, but it’s not as if anyone ever checks. MARTIN: No, but it is illegal. DEROCHE: But this airport closes at dusk. MARTIN: Then we’ll have to go tomorrow! DEROCHE: But there are two hundred people on board … MARTIN (talking over her): We’ll have to find them hotels! DEROCHE: It’s Christmas Day! MARTIN: Merry Christmas! DEROCHE: You are proposing to cost the company thousands and thousands of Euros for a technicality which has no effect on air safety?! MARTIN: Well, this is exactly why I’d never leave my licence at home!

 2. Differences in cognitive abilities

(Martin struggles with executive functioning (i.e. planning actions that have a lot of steps, such as flying the plane in difficult conditions, difficulty with impulse control, etc.)

1x04 – Douz

CAROLYN (a little breathlessly): Good lord, Douglas. You made a right old meal of that, didn’t you? DOUGLAS: Not really. CAROLYN: What? You did two go-arounds, then you finally slammed it onto the ground like you were trying to wipe out the dinosaurs.

DOUGLAS: Oh, I’m not denying a right old meal was made of it, but I was not the chef du jour. Captain Crieff kindly took control.

CAROLYN: What?!  Martin landed it?! With a hydro failure in a crosswind?! Martin, you get flustered trying to parallel park! Why on earth would you take control?

 2x03 – Ipswich 

DR. DUNCAN: O-kay. Great! Well, next: Impulsivity – that’s the tendency of some pilots to panic under pressure, to do the first thing they think of just for the sake of doing something. Now, again, you may never have … DOUGLAS: Actually, that does ring a little bell. DR. DUNCAN: Oh, well – again, without naming names. DOUGLAS: No. That would be the height of iniquity. Well, this chap – could be literally any of the other pilots in MJN Air; let’s call him Marvin – once requested an emergency landing because his watch went off.

~*~*~*~

DR. DUNCAN: … and finally Indecision – getting caught in the headlights of a problem and being unable to settle on a plan of action. DOUGLAS: And Marvin. MARTIN: I thought you said Marvin impulsively did the first thing he thought of. DOUGLAS: Amazingly, he manages to combine both: doing whichever is least appropriate to the situation.

 3. Difference in thinking styles

 3x04 – Ottery St. Mary

MARTIN: Oh, come on. I mean, I can definitely imagine a hundred otters. ARTHUR: Mmm, me too, yellow car. DOUGLAS: All right. How much space do they take up? MARTIN: Er … DOUGLAS: Could you, for instance, get a hundred otters on board GERTI? MARTIN: Yes, I reckon you could.

#cabin pressure #martin crieff #autistic martin crieff #autistic headcanon

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #3- “HELL NO”- Sam

The tribes were presented with an immunity challenge offering up an advantage at the cost of losing your tribe immunity.  A few people pondered taking it trying to think of excuses they could use for doing it.  After 20 hours of no one taking it the rules changed that during the last hour you could get it anonymously.  This sparked everyone's interest and almost every player intended on messaging right at 10pm to claim the advantage.  Once the Three Muskequeers alliance found out that Austin was looking to snatch it up, and them wanting to vote him out anyway, Sam decided she would tell her alliance she would claim the advantage publicly so no one else could get it.  Sam received the Sapphire Idol.  Austin was voted out unanimously.

One of these fuckups is gonna take the advantage and we're gonna go back to tribal and my idiot ass is gonna have to pick a damn side already and make at least two enemies. This is not what I want. This is not what I planned. And I just gotta say-y-y. I do not understand!

So Regan just left and I'm relieved cause I knew right from the beginning that I would have a huge target with her being here. Sucks cause it would have been nice to play a season with her but oh well. Anyways, the immunity is "Temptation" and as of now Lydia, Sam, and I are contemplating on throwing the challenge. Not gonna lie I'm extremely tempted to take it advantage for myself personally and here's why 1. I can take the advantage and our tribe can easily vote out Austin, making him the third boot for the third time in a row cause no one has a good feeling about him (ngl that'd be really funny to see happen sorry Austin) 2. I can lie and tell people the advantage was the Amulet of Abduction (obviously keeping the real advantage to myself) and tell people I'm gonna use that after this tribal just to relieve the target off of my back. Right now Lydia and Sam are saying Jessy/Matt are on the bottom so by saving one of them I can obtain allies for down the road 3. I can make the message look like I'm saying hello and getting ready for work and say "i thought i was talking in the tribe chat" and really apologize for what I did so I'll tell everyone in the tribe that I got the amulet and I'm just gonna use it next round just so that way its off my chest cause I "didn't want it in the first place" The only thing is it might look suspicious to everyone. But if I really play the message up like an error and apologize for it I might be able to get away with it. MIGHT.... this would be a really risky move to make early on in the game. However, you need to take risks in order to do well. It truly just all depends on the timing of it all, and when an opportunity to make a big move presents itself one should normally take it. This is just a late night idea though so I need to do some investigating on the "Matt/Jessy" tea before really putting my plan into effect 

Okay I know I just submitted a video but also like. With this challenge we can literally coordinate for one of us in the 5 person alliance to get the advantage so that no one from the other tribe gets it and Austin or Connor doesn't get it. I don't see anyone (including myself) stepping up to the hypothetical plate but hey, ya never know. It would also just make sense because if we go to the tribal, we as an alliance with someone holding the advantage safely could just get together to vote out Austin or Connor anyway. I might talk to Scott and/or David about it tomorrow if the stand off is still happening at that time.

Can't wait to be third boot

it took 11 days for my internet to come back where it should've only took 3 days

I'm actually mad at Regan for how little I could trust her after she made up that lie about me getting votes because she said something near the end that was probably a lie, but if it wasn't, would have badass ramifications to the game. Like it's brilliant. So when I pressed her about her "vote stealer" she changed her story completely and said it was an obsidian idol, originally from India. It's something you give to someone else and convince them to play on themselves, and if they do, they lose their vote at the tribal they play it on, or get a self-vote, or something. I don't know the exact specifics. And chances are Regan was just looking for a new lie when I seemed to be leaning on her vote stealer a little too heavily and she realized it wouldn't work, and India was fresh in her mind and also her season so she said the first thing she thought of. I know this. But what if she actually did get one? What if as a reward for choosing to become captain, you get a power or advantage that was given in the season you hosted? What if, in our choices of who becomes captain, we're actually shaping the game in terms of the powers that are in play? I don't know that it's actually the case because like a lot of seasons didn't have specialty items, I don't think Solomon did, I don't think Sri Lanka did, I know Malaysia didn't (although Machu might've but whatever). But like seriously, how insanely spectacular would that be? IDK I don't think there are enough powers from these seasons to pull that off so for now it's just future ideas. But if it somehow is happening, YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!!

NNNNNN I wanna take the advantage anonymously so bad. The thing is, we would probably just vote out Austin. But the one round I said I really wouldn't wanna vote him is the 3rd boot round. So then it would have to be Connor because he's the other one not in the alliance. But I don't wanna vote Connor. And like the other thing is, my alliance could very well just decide that one of us take it and then vote out Austin. Idk. If we lose anyway I would wanna take him out. I'm just hoping no one does from my tribe without it being someone in the alliance and them telling us. Because then that would cause paranoia. I hate this so so so so much I just want the other tribe to lose please and thank you.

[9:26:20 PM] Jessy: I bet I'm the only one being entertaining on this tribe rn.. [9:26:20 PM] Jessy: BKLMSDAKFMLSA [9:26:32 PM] Jessy: mj in his conf chat: Ugh have you watched this movie Trevor? It's 10/10 stars. [9:26:47 PM] Jessy: allison: TREVOR WHY'D YOU SEND AN EMOJI HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS OUR PMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [9:27:10 PM] Jessy: drew: Omg lol Matt just gave me an advantage and I can't wait to find an idol [9:27:24 PM] Jessy: matt: silence [9:27:40 PM] Jessy: connor: OMG I GRADUATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [9:27:56 PM] Jessy: josh: Hey I'm not gonna have internet for a few more days just to let you know haha [9:28:13 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Make a confessional

https://68.media.tumblr.com/c57a58f0d413bbb47589990910d5c2f5/tumblr_o7liixFGQM1snwhbeo7_250.gif I was not planning on doing that but Austin really just set me off and I want him fucking gone! https://68.media.tumblr.com/919b9070e70a645f869822d991e664af/tumblr_oh0gstX39L1snwhbeo1_250.gif You don't get to use personality flaw and aspergers in the same sentence especially without knowing a persons history. https://68.media.tumblr.com/82bf4dc25677985e228d96635b18699e/tumblr_oh0gstX39L1snwhbeo3_250.gif https://68.media.tumblr.com/8421828988b62d30cbdb3e8125a38a7a/tumblr_o75h0o1okf1snwhbeo8_250.gif Like fucking night one he's like "i live in florida like trump" 1) doesn't trump live in the fucking white house?? 2) don't fucking mention trump around gays 3) then don't say "i don't like talking about politics cause people judge me" LIKE IF YOU DONT BRING IT UP IM NOT GONNA ASK! https://68.media.tumblr.com/bbae53b6b5edeaa0b19e2c673c56a1ad/tumblr_inline_o6vzilQPBb1rjyihp_500.gif anyways he told scoot he was gonna go for it at 10 so I was like HELL NO so I put a gay smile to make sure he couldn't get it. oops! then austin was like "oh that must suck for people who wanted it" sucks to be you austin. I really hope he goes and I didn't just get myself voted out...

RIP cause I said I would make a video but didn't feel like doing so Anyways, after waking up and going to work, I realized it would be dumb for me to pull my late night idea. I don't think I have strong relationships to really get away with pulling this off. Plus after I spoke with Sam and Lydia, they don't think the Amulet is the item being given out. So I really don't think it would work and I would have really put a huge target on my back. Plus for all I know we may swap next round so you never really know what could happen. However, it was brought to my attention through Austin that he wanted to go for the advantage once it was revealed he could get it anonymously. I do not approve of this because he's the one that I want voted out more than anyone else, so I immediately brought it to Sam and Lydia. We basically decided it would be best to snatch it now, and vote him out while we have the opportunity to do so. Sam snatched that quicker than anyone else, and she ended up getting the Sapphire Idol (lord i better not be the victim of it again). Austin also made a controversial comment to Sam by saying he doesn't like his step-siblings being autistic, so at this point I am ready for him to go. It really is difficult getting a message from him every morning because I know the conversations I have with him are not genuine and like I want to actually have friends out of this (and win), but it would be nice to have friends. All I know is we definitely won't be friends after this game

http://prntscr.com/fjyj3x

[12:19:09 AM] Jessy: I can't believe Sam McCanada is here to vote me off for a third time [12:19:10 AM] Jessy: LKBJASKLDFJSDAKLFASDLM [12:19:13 AM] Jessy: LIKE [12:20:03 AM] Jessy: i need to have [12:20:04 AM] Jessy: a SERIOUS convo w mj. [12:20:10 AM] Jessy: listen idc if ure fuck buddies with connah. [12:20:12 AM] Jessy: HE'S WITH THEM! [12:20:20 AM] Jessy: and idc if ur BUTT buddies with lydia. [12:20:22 AM] Jessy: SHES WITH THEM! [7:48:51 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Fuck buddies sgajdjdkdkfc [5:26:40 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Congratulations!  You have found the Tatzelwurm.  The longer you hold on to it the stronger it becomes.  You will be updated along the way as it's power grows. [5:27:06 PM] Jessy: Omg? [5:28:26 PM] Jessy: HAHA SAM FUCK THAT! [5:28:32 PM] Jessy: I HAVE A TATZELWURM! [5:28:37 PM] Jessy: UR IDOL CANT COMPARE! [5:33:31 PM] Jessy: Whew I did that [5:38:39 PM] Jessy: I'm not telling matt fuck him [5:38:39 PM] Jessy: LSJSLKJJK [5:38:44 PM] Jessy: he's gna work w/ lydia [5:39:06 PM] Jessy: if this was one world? [5:39:11 PM] Jessy: me: DAVID AND SCOTT BLINDSIDE HA!

Austin is CRACKT! He really does think he is running this tribe and boy he aint. Sam, Andrew, Scott and I have a 4 person alliance and we will be so set for a swap and for a few more rounds after that especially since Sam has the Saaphire idol! I really hope this group sticks together because I love it so much

It's official, Austin is going home and I am so ecstatic!! Everyone is on board and he should be going 6-1 if everything goes as planned. Hopefully it does. Right now I'm on a call with the Ice Scream chat (prev. Pure Four) and we are so relieved that he is going home soon. Praise the lord

#torchsnuffers #confessionals

[anautisticdragon-blog]

"That's Captain Andy's video, there. Not Noel's. Andy's good people."

Noel Plum -- Just Another Alt-Right Sociopath

I didn't reach this conclusion easily, I had to swallow back my nausea and force myself to sit through many of his videos and endure the anxiety, just to be sure. It's important to me to not rush to a conclusion like that. What I've noticed as a recurring factor in his videos is that he's truly a masterclass of manipulation. This isn't uncommon in sociopathy, as they are very social creatures and if they're almost entirely devoid of any level of concern, compassion, and care? Well, those social skills will be turned toward getting people to dance to their tune. That's precisely what he does. In his videos, he regularly displays a complete absence of any discernible degree of empathy or conscience. I felt inspired to speak up thanks to his beautifully bigoted video on the constipatedly convoluted construct of 'disability privilege.' A silliness that was admirably, artfully deconstructed by a fellow I'm rather fond of who goes by the moniker of Captain Andy. You can see his video embedded above and it's certainly worth a watch as it really does serve to highlight how manipulative Noel Plum actually is. In this scenario, Noel Plum was having a discussion with Captain Andy about 'disability privilege.' As the discussion went on, the ugly, I'd even say grotesque, levels of confirmation bias present in Noel's words was easily laid bare. Instead of gracefully accepting defeat, Noel rather slyly opted to put together a YouTube video on the topic, one where his alarming hate speech could have an undisturbed platform. And no, he didn't link to the discussion with Captain Andy. He's very manipulative, like I said, which means that he's actually quite clever even though he's an intolerable bag of dicks who's as stark raving crazy as a bag of spanners. Lots of things come in bags. Anyway, his argument is wrong, which he definitely knows but he wants to push it anyway. If you can't achieve a higher ground in a debate, what do you do? A well adjusted person would just admit defeat. If they were intelligent, they might also use the opportunity to be introspective so that they could learn and grow from the experience. Their empathy would give them a primetime reel of how they'd been a right bloody muppet, leading to heartfelt apologies and bridges built between people. It's really not hard to respect your fellow human being as a human being, is it? Well, not unless you're a sociopath. And if you're a sociopath, why admit defeat when you can use your manipulative talents to trick vast numbers of weak-willed sycophants and mendicants who're so unfortunately in need of attention and validation that they'd believe anything? And no, this isn't insensitive, this is concern because think about what I'm saying and then ask yourself this: How do cults happen? Not everyone is strong. In an ideal world I'd want to see everyone built up on a strong foundation so that they wouldn't need to seek attention and validation from others, this isn't a perfect world, is it? This is why, for example, illnesses such as internalised misogyny and stockholm syndrome even exist. It really is very unfortunate, and I know a lot about this myself as a disabled person who has experienced many of these things. I'm not accusing anyone of anything, here. I'm talking from experience. There was a dark period of my life where I was held prisoner. I still have yet to heal from the whole sordid affair as it lasted for years of my life. It's not something you'd wish on your worst enemy. I mentioned prior to this that I'd experienced rape and abuse, I'd been tortured. What happens when your life is nothing but that for so long you lose hope? I'm not going to expect everyone to suddenly understand how PTSD works, but I would use this opportunity to ask you to read up on it and take an opportunity to grow as a person with new knowledge of the kind of suffering I've endured and still endured. Here's an example I can give you, though: If, for example, you're being raped and you hear a train rumble by outside as it's happening? The brain just loves to make connections. I can't ride on trains any more. I used to love trains. An unfortunate factor of autism is that in certain cases of the spectrum (though not all, no aspect of it is Universal as all brains are different) one may be hyper-sensitive. This also means that the autistic mind can be sensitive to trauma, which mine is. Despite efforts made with both CBT and medication, I still can't leave my house. The last time I tried I experienced a seizure. In this sociopath's view, I shouldn't be entitled to any support despite what's happened to me. Noel Plum is telling me that if I can't work, then the government shouldn't provide me with anything. The only reason I have a roof over my head and the small amount of money on which I live is thanks to the charity of the British government and its people. Which weighs on my conscience heavily. Not that Noel would know anything about how that feels. If I could go outside, if I could be around other people enough to work, then I'd do it. I can't interact with people, though, at all. I have to live in isolation. The jobs available to me in this scenario are both simply too scarce and wouldn't provide a high enough pay grade to actually live on. So I'd end up homeless, without a doubt. I wouldn't last long, there. I could see myself having an aneurysm and that would be that. Thanks for helping confirm my fear of sociopaths, though, Noel. I can't ever be around people thanks to monsters like you, just because they're going to share the same kind of face and my mind reacts with such an overpowering, overwhelming, irresistible fear response that I just break. Thanks for confirming my traumas and empowering them. When I was younger, I was incredibly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, an overly naive and optimistic child whose innocence and hope were stolen by sociopaths. I don't have those any more. I have very little faith in humanity in general, these days, and all I know now is the cynicism I feel for the kind of creatures I know humans can be. I'm jaded, and I often wake up wondering whether it's worth actually going on. Yes. These are feelings. Do they make you feel uncomfortable? Do you want to rush off and create a YouTube video about it? Sure, you certainly could be a massive monument to human indecency, much like our wonderful role model, here. You could. Don't. It's a chance for you to actually be a decent human being and actually listen. In my aforementioned glory days, the halcyon days of my youth, as sepia tinted and nostalgic as they are? I was incredibly bright, my reading age was far beyond the average, almost a decade ahead of where it should have been. I was reading physics books when the other children around me were still preoccupied with fairy tales. I was an artist, a musician, tutors regularly told me that I was quite the talented wunderkind. Can you imagine what it's like to have all of that torn away? I'm certain I would've loved to enter into some scientific field or other, given the opportunity. I wanted that, so badly. In many ways, I still do. I don't know if you can grasp what that's like, to have your potential just ripped away so that all you can do is hide inside a house because you feel so much fear. You can't trust anyone as they look like evil demons, it's lead many to incorrectly assume that I'm a misanthrope, which is in stark opposition to how I actually feel. Yes, people scare me. Do I care about them? Yes. Do I want to try and help them avoid suffering? Yes. It's really difficult to do this. What I see though is that if I don't speak out? The people who're so very easily manipulated by sociopaths like Noel Plum are going to sleepwalk through it and spread his hate speech harmfully throughout the world as unaware proxies. It's a difficult effort for me but this simply has to be challenged so that no one else has to endure what I've had to. Do you think I should be homeless? It's a simple question. It's one I'd ask to that sociopath as well, though he'd likely find some way to worm out of it with fallacious arguments and veiled, passive-aggressive attacks as is the way of sociopaths. And, yes, the alt-right is a movement lead by sociopathic key figures who others are being manipulated by, it's a very real, very harmful problem. Take a look at boogie2988 as an example. I don't think he's a sociopath, I think he's one of the people being manipulated as he's a bit of a pushover. He's being an echo chamber for toxic viewpoints simply because he's just too afraid to challenge the sociopaths who're forcing their toxic ideologies on him. It became obvious to me when he went from saying in one video that his followers shouldn't attack Anita Sarkeesian as she really doesn't deserve the hate, to another where he claimed that Anita deserved whatever came her way. That was fast. And no one changes their tune that fast unless they're scared. The alt-right think that boogie2988 is aligned with them. He's not. He's morbidly fucking terrified of them and I really don't blame him. I bet that he's worried that if he speaks out he'll have more threats of assassination, or boxes of shit mailed to his door. He's admitted that's happened to him, which just makes me feel worse. I won't demonise him for this. I'm going to give boogie2988 the benefit of the doubt. He doesn't ping my sociopath radar at all. Of course, there is a possibility that he's simply a more talented manipulator who manages to be more subtle in his efforts. Not that I believe that, as I don't think that that level of paranoia is necessary or justified. As such, I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm open to being wrong, though, so tell me if I am. I don't think he's a manipulator, though. He's too wishy-washy. It doesn't fit. No, he's one of those I mentioned who're manipulated by the actual sociopaths out there, the YouTube faces of the alt-right. Individuals who obviously have no capacity for empathy or conscience whatsoever. You know how I feel about Noel Plum, though I'd also namedrop the comedy duo of TL;DR and Sargon as obvious candidates as well. As I keep saying: All you have to do is look for the lack of empathy and conscience. A sociopath believes their 'common sense' is the be all and end all, that they can use that to manipulate people as it make them objectively correct. They don't realise that by not having empathy and compassion, there's a lot of nuance and subtext regarding humanity they're never going to understand. So people like Noel Plum, TL;DR, and Sargon wonder why so many react negatively to them, yeah? This is why. They're sociopaths. If you don't have any capacity for empathy, compassion, concern, or care then you'll likely not be well liked, will you? I haven't seen one video where these people have shown any of those traits. Not one. Not. One. As always, I'm happy to be proven wrong. Please note that asinine attacks designed to undermine me based upon my disability aren't evidence that these people aren't sociopaths. I hate that I have to say this. I couldn't hold back the soulful sigh as I wrote those words, but I know all too well how humans can be. Especially when those humans are either sociopaths or the unaware proxies who're acting as their cult of personality. So let's ask another question: Do you think I'm able? The able person has privilege. I wish I did. I had places I used to enjoy going to when I was younger that I no longer can. I, for example, sorely miss video game arcades. There are some left in the UK and I would genuinely love to visit one, I truly would, but I wouldn't be around other people. It isn't fair to expect to have an arcade to myself, either. I am absolutely not the one per cent, nor do I wish to be. I want everyone to enjoy these things. So even if I can't, I can enjoy it vicariously without the guilt of impeding others. I still wish I could go to one, though. I'd like that. It's such a silly, simple thing, isn't it? I want to visit a video game arcade. I don't want a big house, a fast car, or any of that rot, I'd just like to visit a video game arcade as I have some... very fond memories of them from my youth. It was a happier time. I hate that I need to do this. I do. I'm just sick of being victimised by sociopaths like Noel Plum. I'm scared, I'll admit it, this is terrifying to do as I might bring down the wrath of the sociopaths and their proxies on my head. I know that. I live in fear enough and this is likely to make it worse, but I have to be strong enough to try. I have to be bull-headed and give this my all. If I don't, I'm a hypocrite. And as I do have a conscience, unlike Noel Plum, it would just drag me down and burden me further if I didn't make this effort. I am scared, yes, but it has to be done. I think people need to talk about these things. I really believe that's necessary. I'd like to go outside. I can't. I have to pay others to walk my dog for me since I can't do that myself. I thankfully have a back yard with very tall fences and I can play with him there, but I can't walk him. Anyway, I'm registered as having PTSD and autism. The government knows that I'm unable to go outside and I haven't left my house in over two decades. It's like self-imposed stockholm syndrome, in a way. It's why I brought that up. As I said, I wasn't accusing anyone, just speaking from experience. One no one should ever have to have. So, am I able, Noel? Do I enjoy the same privileges as a healthy person who's able to go outdoors and enjoy that kind of life? I'm stuck in a very small house all the time. I use blackout curtains to block out the outside world, I only have one mirror as I can't stand looking at myself due to being physically disfigured. Am I as privileged as you, do you think? Of course I'm not. Noel's a nasty little man as he's fully aware that individuals such as myself exist, though he cares more about the taxes he has to pay than he does about my well being. As I said, he obviously has no capacity for conscience or empathy, he's a sociopath. As is true of every alt-right ringleader I've seen. So let's ask another question: Do you think I deserve support? Noel would say no. I don't deserve that 'privilege.' What's your opinion, though? What do you think? I wish I could go out there and earn money just as you do, that'd be lovely. I don't have that luxury. Yes, working is a luxury as it brings you far more financial stability and peace of mind than I've ever known. Sometimes I'm so strapped for cash I have to choose between electricity, Internet, and food. I would work, if I could. This is why it's important for you to realise that these alt-right ringleaders are sociopaths, and if you buy into their spiel then you've been played. Played like a fiddle, dancing to their tune, obeying their whims like extremely helpful little puppets. Think for yourself. This kind of toxicity is ruining human society, it's degrading the moral values we've all fought for. It's tearing up the fabric of community that would otherwise bind us together. Why? All to benefit the very few -- the sociopaths. I don't blame you for being a pawn, a piece on a chess board. It's easy to be taken in by these people and manipulated, after all. And sadly, there's more of these nasty individuals out there than we realise. Sociopathy is much more commonplace than you might realise. It always has the same hallmarks, though: They're manipulative, they're schemers, and they've absolutely no capacity for conscience, empathy, concern, or care. They're incredibly self-centred, only interested in their own gain, and often extremely narcissistic and overly confident as well. I'm extremely thankful to people like Captain Andy for speaking up for those like myself. And yes, sometimes we do need that. It's unfortunate, but as I said, we are scared. I'm scared. I'm terrified to do this and even as I type I'm debating with myself over whether I'll actually post it... Just look at Anita Sarkeesian, though. I know, I know how the sociopaths want you to think. Instead, take a look at her page on RationalWiki. Not one of the arguments sociopaths make against her is valid, but they're talented and compelling manipulators so they can easily hide their obvious lack of facts, citations, and information, instead opting to use fallacies and manipulative ploys to get people thinking as they want. No matter what you believe Anita Sarkeesian may be guilty of (which, if we're honest, is nothing more than defending a group of humans who've had to endure some terrible shit), the hatred she experiences is entirely disproportionate to any of the crimes she's been accused of. Why do you hate her so much? Do you know? You've been played. This is what sociopaths do, and they're bloody good at it. And what do most humans never want to admit? They don't want to admit that they were wrong. If they're wrong, they look like weak-minded fools who were played (I've been there, that's happened to me). So they will look for information to back up their lack of wrongness, they'll have this confirmation bias that'll turn into something ugly and nasty. The reason they hate Anita is because subconsciously they know. They know they've been played and manipulated by these sociopaths, they're just too ashamed to admit it, so instead they're doubling down on their attacks in the hopes that no one will actually notice. They fear the judgement baggage that'll accompany admitting they were wrong. Guess what, though? I wouldn't blame you. No one would. I think we've all experienced sociopathic manipulation at some point in our lives. There is no judgement, here. I just want people to realise that the reason they listen to people like Sargon and Noel Plum, the reason they hate women, non-whites, disabled people, and so on? It's because on a subconscious level they know they've been played and they're ashamed, so they're just doubling down on this instead of being big, brave, or confident enough to admit they were wrong. And here I am. A person with PTSD who can't leave their house. If I can find strength enough to do this, to stand up for what I believe in and talk to all of you, why can't those of you who're being proxy for this hate speech just be big enough to admit you were wrong? It's okay. We're all wrong sometimes. It happens. In fact, we're often wrong. It's how we learn. I don't see any harm in that. The only bad part is if you can't admit it to yourself, if you don't open up to the experience and learn from it so that you can grow as a person, instead of doubling down and stagnating into something entirely terrible. That's the only horrible thing, here. It's bad for me, sure, but it's also stunting you and that's not great for you. I'm talking to the people here, of course, who sing along to the tune of sociopaths like Noel Plum, TL;DR, and Sargon. This is a chance that I, as a scared, disabled individual who often feels their hate, am offering them to stand up and admit they were wrong. I forgive them. I don't blame any person for being manipulated by a talented manipulator, okay? Life is hard for me, it really is, sometimes I'll lash out just out of the sheer pain and suffering I've endured. I still don't blame those who've been manipulated and played, though. I just blame the sociopaths. They're the only ones who're truly responsible, here. I know I'm going to regret this. I know this is going to add a lot more pain, fear, sadness, and suffering to my life. I'll have people threatening to kill my dog and shit like that, because this is the kind of thing that these monsters pull. I have to do this, though. I hope you can understand. I just can't allow myself to sit by and watch this happen any more. I hope, at least, that this message is received loud and clear by boogie2988, as I genuinely believe he's a good person who's just as very scared as I am, who's been manipulated and pushed around by these sociopaths. I'm hoping he'll understand where I'm coming from. Thank you for reading. And maybe... thank you for understanding?

And thank you to Captain Andy for making that video. Really, thank you. It gave me the strength to do this. I appreciate that. You are good people.

I'm going to post this thing, now, and then go and hide under my bed because I'm a fucking coward and this was way more difficult to do than it had any right to be. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but my need to stand up, speak, and not be a hypocrite is overpowering my cowardice. Just enough to hit post...

#captain andy #boogie2988 #noel plum #disability #scared #tired #sociopathy #manipulation #hatred #bigotry