#stressed about plumbing no i'm not stressed ahh

[sniper-rifle-coffee]

Finally another hot cup of koffee it's been needed. Rant?

Or maybe it's just story time to vent either way eh ahh.

Sometime when I just write down how I feel or the shit I go through helps me a little gives me serenity, I think it's because the younger me always wanted four things in life, to be a writer the thoughts of life / war an love or poetry,

i think it would've been a theoretical story making I'd do or something like war & love there was an old book i use to read it was named a boy no more. i believe so, also quick description i recall it was a young boy with two military parents that made him always move taking military schools across seas as soon as he would make freinds he'd have to leave moving base to base then found a love but had to leave grew older served to only return alone no family no friends with that being said this story reminded me alot of how my mother grew up non military but law enforcement younger time always on the move & bullied & abandoned to survive with her older brother bless that man had a pure loving caring soul may he rest easy in peace still hurts. anyways things that hit home an It's what made me want to do writing long ago.

So those dreams

¹writer ²military Infantry ³wildrenss survivalist ⁴fatherhood.

then the shitty reality I've failed all my dreams & have to give my true dreams or callings up so I can try to find new ones but I haven't had any since then from years ago I still try to push for those on odd blue moon's, but i just simply can't not I do or have those life eh ahh.

but that's the amazing thing about life each day is going to be something new, could be good or it could be bad, but what matters is that we take all those days anembrace them without knowing it, i love just reflecting time to time in life & just gotta really appreciate all those small little things in life it's things like that which makes it purely feel like the soul glows warm soft freely, but even for those bad days or times i think how it pushes us to stop but we always keep fighting gotta love that flight or fight in us all so for those times best thing keep moving it can be rough can take long but like those bad days everything falls breaks but something can always fall break with time things will rise back up or heal but on hard times i find its what has built/formed us to grew to learn from those days where we can slowly stand proud again to take a moment breathe relfect we get bad times but if we stop to breathe more often we can heal to relfect an love life. So I completely lost myself here hmm hmm haha dis why you shouldn't smoke a thick bowl in-between gaming an write lol

So i just spent roughly 4 or 5 hours planning out a small, um hmm yeah small, naw this is gonna be fucked doing a solo renovation project so far all i know i got walls and floors & some electrical work plus down the road i might need to redo some more plumbing adding another ½ or ¾ bored to the subfloor might even have to rip the old sub floor ffs but meh least it's on my own time & get to do all my final touches to my work, but I have an odd feeling I'm gonna be able to have these projects done pretty fast

Now the shopping list lol I'm sure I still need to add more down the run but this can least get the gears rolling & keep my bored high ass busy lmao

So it's also been i think about two weeks since I quit my slave labor shit job, even though I left i still barely was given anytime to try an recover I'm still stuck in my self recovery but I got to keep pushing myself more & more it's so fucked really sucks I barely can eat i think it's been nearly two days an I've only been able to barely hold down a bowl of cereal all that's keeping me from full on shock is trying to keep my hydration up taking everything I can just so I can keep up with my addictions my vape an lots of weed just to force or trick myself into eat also mix those two thing you'll dehydrated real fast, so i gotta drink teas G-aids water apple & orange juices an of course always sacrifice for coffee even right now all I can do is drink it black with nearly no sugar just because the creams to much plus coffee is so much better black it's amazing flavors oh & my sleep! Oh the fucken true hell that job has done to me my sleeping habits are supper fucked well I was working I'd run on a rough 4 or 3 hours of sleep then just work 12hrs just to repeat so year an half nearly no sleep only meals if I was able to was my dinner meals no breakfast no lunch barely had the freedom to have water for 7 or 8 days a week it damn well near killed me maybe still is anyways so stress love that word so no sleep no food or water with me always on the move doing fucked solo labor for two months it really broke me it's fucken terrifying trying to recover my body & mind then what doesn't help covid I'm so paranoid couldn't handle it any longer each day going into peoples homes doing there windows or doors moving there fucken shit out of the way or hopping up around there sinks tubs ripping out there old dirty nasty ass trims doors windows all of it, it fucken sucked I just want to forgot that shit I need to rant that shit out but haven't been able to other then just rants helps but anyways enough of that haha lovely so new mind set rollback finally got some temp work lined up new days slow new me exited to try an enjoy this break an recover time so time for more great black rifle coffee gonna try some M.O & get super lit up with the bong & atm about to kill my joint then kill it on cod got a new gamer crew with a old bud it's been fun also amazed on the audio in these games damn well near spot on for most firearms in there it's awesome lol

23 years old fucken feel so old lmao

So far this is my list 💀🧫💀💨☕

#ramdom #stoned #stress #rant over #coffee #coffetime #smokeweeedeveryday #420community #my work #workinprogress #work dog #thank god for weed #lol