Tumgik
#straight white guy
jestroer · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
Cubfan looooooves being possessed, it's like enrichment to him! Ren tho, well, um.....
2K notes · View notes
aydaines · 8 months
Text
ok listen. if sam reich is doing a try guys thing. and zack kornfeld was recently on puppet history. then who the fuck do i have to call to get brennan lee mulligan on puppet history.
695 notes · View notes
serpentface · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Janeys Haidamane and Brakul Red-Dog, war heroes and sworn brothers of over a decade, glaring stiffly at the camera for a face ref image and doing their habitual renewal of their blood oaths.
Janeys is the commander of the Whitehorn cavalry unit, and the middle sibling of odonii priestesses Faiza and Couya Haidamane. Brakul is his second in command, a soldier of central Wardi - Hill Clan ethnicity. Red-Dog is not part of his given name, but a chosen nomme de guerre.
They met as mercenaries in opposing sides of a land conflict in central Wardin as young men, developing admiration for one another on the battlefield and close bond upon the cessation of hostilities. They became sworn brothers shortly after (a legally binding status designating unrelated men as family via blood oath, with associated benefits and responsibilities). Normal oaths of sworn brotherhood are renewed in a yearly ceremony, but these guys renew it once per the full lunar month (which is not considered a normal thing to do AT ALL), to the point of psychosexual religious obsession with maintaining their swapped blood. They are covered in scars from each other's blades.
The fact that their relationship is a) very strange and b) CLEARLY an intimate partnership is known (or at least suspected) by most around them. This sort of relationship between two men of equal age and status is unbecoming and controversial for public figures especially - male homosexuality is seen as emasculating towards a receiving partner, so committed relationships such as this are generally frowned upon. The shame is compounded by the fact that Janeys's children by his wife Hibredes are, VERY clearly, not his own (and may very well be Brakul's).
This makes it a very sensitive topic, and one that most people are sufficiently intimidated into silence over. Janeys has killed multiple people in legally sanctioned duels for his honor in the face of such 'perverted and baseless accusations', and Brakul has beaten the shit out of/straight up murdered people for saying it a little too loud. Faiza, a respected high priestess of the odonii, is also committed to protecting her brother's honor and provides an additional layer of defense that he would not otherwise be privileged to. 
Surprisingly or not given their fun little bloodpact thing, their relationship is strange and really fucked up. They love each other with devotion bordering on madness, but also take most of their frustrations and anxieties and hatred for the world out on each other. Each harbors strong feelings of resentment towards the other for 'making them this way' and their quarrels are legendary.
They bring this energy along on Stavis Amanti's pilgrimage and make things pretty awkward for everyone else involved.
166 notes · View notes
rawliverandgoronspice · 10 months
Text
One thing that TotK does constantly but really doesn't land for me when compared to BotW is that every NPC loves Zelda so much.
She is the sweetest, and she loves animals and is the very best at them, and she goes to every major landmark to spend time there and also she teaches the people secrets about the lands they have always lived in and they're like woow thanks zelda incredible I'll change my entire ways because you were just SO enlightening (Lurelin + Gerudo Town feeling particularly questionable here for obvious reasons), and she's so wise and beloved and talented --to the point that nobody (beyond the Zora King) even dares to question her actions when she starts acting off.
(Yunobo please stop letting her walk all over you, like it's alarming that you understand she basically brainwashed you and your entire race, and you're still running after her like a lost puppy for an explanation that will surely make everything make sense instead of, like, punting her into the sun? I know it's the eeeevil zelda, but that this situation could even remotely begin to happen feels... so offputting.)
In BotW, the rare mentions of Zelda worked because 1) she was an ancient figure and the modern hylians knew very little about her and would build her up as a legendary figure accordingly, 2) she was literally giving her life for them (I mean she kind of still does here but people do not know that or cannot infer that in any way --which is its own sort of problem), 3) she was extremely hard on herself, felt like a failure and... kind of was one (and she was given shit for it).
(also in BotW we are in a post-Hyrule kingdom world, while here we're living its re-foundation, and so it feels very... convenient that they excavate a previous version of their perfect kingdom to boister up the hylian claim upon the lands also --but that's beyond the topic)
So for anyone to give her grace and compassion in BotW, while a little eyeroll worthy at times, was endearing and made sense. None of this was her fault; she may have extreme power, but she didn't directly yield it --her imperfections the byproduct of a stressful situation every champion was being forced into due to the tides of fate. Also the king was criticized for being a little ruthless and asking too much of his subjects, including his own daughter. There was solidarity between you and everyone else at the same level.
But here? I don't know, it feels like the entire kingdom is terrified that the sheikah secret police will drag them back in the Bottom of the Well if they breathe wrong when talking about their beloved princess, it's so unsettling. I liked BotW Zelda, but... I don't know, I'm literally more comfortable around fake Zelda than the real one. Fake Zelda feels more like a real person that she does.
280 notes · View notes
5oz-mud · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
we project our tummy issues on trant heidelstam like MEN. (based off a tiktok i can no longer find)
94 notes · View notes
smosh-mouth · 9 months
Text
pictures of ian and shayne that radiate the same energy
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(credit for the last 2 pics goes to boxmann)
361 notes · View notes
sabertoothwalrus · 1 year
Text
I just watched the pixar elemental trailer and I’m not gonna lie. It fucking sucks. It looks bland. Absolutely Flavorless. all I felt after watching that trailer was anger. God. It looks ugly. I hate most of the character designs 💀
934 notes · View notes
polithicc · 5 months
Text
I wanna put the only straight guy in my office in a jar and study him. He’s on the phone with someone telling them about the Lululemon pants he likes and keeps saying “I’m sending you an email with the link, but you have to call me before you order to tell you about sizing.” Earlier he asked me if I wanted to go for a “hot girl lunch” and we went to an expensive restaurant and had caesar salads with steak and a shared order of truffle fries. His girlfriend is a doctor and he calls her regularly on our behalf to ask her about random symptoms we have. He started a staff group chat but only with a few people and declared he had veto power for including new staffers into the chat. He texts us every Wednesday at 1pm and says “happy midweek, we just have to make it a bit longer”.
112 notes · View notes
the-punforgiven · 7 days
Text
My brain last night was trying to dream about watching the movie Jaws with my beloved, but I have never actually seen the movie Jaws so the "footage from the movie" my brain conjured up concerned the titular creature "Jaws", a bizarre undersea millipede-like creature with a shark's head (This was a false head to deter predators when it wasn't hunting.)
It had a thick carapace lined with small venomous spikes that held an insanely powerful numbing agent. "Jaws" was roughly the size of a small dog (initially, though was still noticeably longer) and covered in small gnashing teeth alongside nearly the entirety of the creature's underside. When it needed to hunt, "Jaws" would bury itself in the sand of shallow lakes, waiting for a human to step too close. Once they did step too close, the human's leg would be rendendered fully numb by the creature's venom and "Jaws" would latch onto and wrap around the leg, using both its teeth and its apparently sharp legs(?) to gruesomely rip and tear the numbed flesh down to the bone, before quickly leaving the unfortunate human and scuttling the fuck off into the sea to apparently molt into something roughly double its size. By the end of the movie it had grown to the point it was wrapping around and attempting to devour entire cargo ships.
I don't know what the FUCK creature that was, but even I know that sure as shit wasn't Jaws
49 notes · View notes
dykefaggotry · 17 days
Text
I hate the Audacity of cis men. this dude has access to our laundry even though he lives in another house bc their washer/dryer is broken. cool great fine. it's on our landlord to fix, which he hasn't in coming up on 2 years. I wouldn't care, but this dude will leave his shit in the washer for HOURS, like rn it's been over 7 hours and usually he leaves them overnight. multiple times he's been talked to about this by our landlord. but he has the fucking nerve to leave out dryer sheets & money, expecting us to dry his clothes for him if we have laundry to do.
so I DID just maybe leave his wet ass clothes on top of the dryer with a note that says "hi :) please get to your laundry in a respectful timeframe for the residents here. leaving money and dryer sheets does not mean we're going to do it for you, as none of us are your mother. thanks!"
is it petty? absolutely. but also..... I've been incredibly nice and I'm sick of his bullshit
34 notes · View notes
communistkenobi · 1 year
Text
fondly remembering two years ago when I said I don’t like those pedro pascal reader insert fics because they were annoying on top of being gross and I got dozens of screaming essays in my inbox calling me a cunt and accusing me of ruining the fandom for like a straight week and now those same people are joining in on the finger wagging about calling pedro pascal daddy and pretending like they weren’t the ones who were calling him shit like “chilean cock monster” and saying they have “jungle fever” for finding him hot and screaming DADDY🥵🥵🥵 in the tags and replies of literally every single post about the mandalorian on this website
192 notes · View notes
goldheartedsky · 4 months
Text
Just wait til some people realize that Booker is the same brand of Queer White Mediterranean Guy that Nicky is.
51 notes · View notes
saptaincwan · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
ohhh men with beards my artistic weakness (timelapse delayed but someday)
(UPDATE: timelapse here)
82 notes · View notes
amber-acrylic · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
why does my workplace have a death hallway. is this a trap
88 notes · View notes
dazeddoodles · 6 days
Note
I love your comparison of The Joker and Harly Quinn to Alador and Odalia but it's genderswapped and oufuiekqhsooguha I love that actually
Can't get that out of my head, it's a bit silly, ofc, but a fun idea to me
Thanks it literally just came up when I was searching references for Alador and saw all the old ship art of him and Odalia. They were SUCH a popular ship before they even appeared in Season 2.
And I thought people really expected them to be (fanon) Joker and Harley Quinn, just because I couldn't think of another popular straight villian couple. Before realizing they kinda are (canon) Joker and Harley Quinn 💀
20 notes · View notes
amphibious-thing · 10 months
Text
I don't really follow a lot of interviews/social media content form the OFMD cast & crew. In part because I'm busy and in part because I tend to take more of a Death of the Author approach to analysis anyway. But when did David Jenkins actually say that there was no homophobia or racism depicted in the show cause like? Thats such an odd take. The homophobia is more uhh subtle (barely) but racism?
122 notes · View notes