#straight people are so tiring sometimes

[ganondoodle]

a wild assortement of comic wip screenshots and a random doodle that i posted to twitter but not here

(this doodle here is of Raal (aka demise before he became a deity) but whatever happens here isnt anything 'canon', i just randomly doodled him to try a loosen up my painting style bc when i work on the comic i tend to concentrate too much of rendering it perfectly and i dont like that)

#ganondoodles #doodles #art #i am so very tired #too tired for tags #btw i do love and read every ask i get but damn i just dont have the energy to reply to most #and i feel so guilty #i wish i could make a warning show up when someone wants to send me an ask #that just says -yo i love and cherish and reread all asks but unfortunately have zero energy to reply but chances are it made me cry- #given the asks isnt mean spirited or straight up bots #which my impsoter brain sometimes still tries to make me think #like either woo look at all those people LYING to your face #but i have grown alot since those days and now its mostly just #so look what a nice and lovely absolutely beautiful ask this person send you and you disrespectful fool are not answering it shame upon you #thats most likely why i have been getting less and less and man i feel so bad #like when its asks about drawing advice i either dont know what to say bc i dont have any idea what im doing eihter #or bc i plan a giant response with a big ass illustrated tutorial even tho i know i neither got the time or energy for it #but still cant answer then bc wait you wanted to make a tutorial you cant answer it just like that #and when its a super nice compliment about my art i just #dont know how to express my gratitude and silently reread it time and time again never answering it bc then it would be gone from the inbox #;__; #alright falling asleep brain better not have written sth i will regret reading tomorrow #i think this is the longest tags i put on a completely unrelated post of mine #if you have read all these tags send me an ask only containing the name of your fav fruit and i will make you a little pixel sprite of it

[novelconcepts]

more and more it's feeling like we just...don't have room for people trying anymore. it's all or nothing; get it right the first time, or be crucified by a jury you can never fully see or convince. and this isn't new, isn't born of current events. it's become more and more prevalent over the last ten years thanks to social media putting every little thought on blast, but i'd put money on the idea that it's actually been brewing much longer than that. and, for me, it goes beyond being tiring or upsetting. it feels bleak. it feels downright fucking broken that we're all so busy trying not to condone anything remotely problematic that we don't leave room for good faith learning. watching people trying to suss out their own identity--something literally ONLY they can fully understand or explain--be vilified for trying to fit words around their own experience sucks. watching people misunderstand something and try to apologize for it later, only to be told they should have known all along, sucks. seeing people who once held truly toxic beliefs actually grow and learn and apologize and still be told to fuck themselves as if they're a lost cause--it sucks. just. does that not fill you with despair for the state of things? does that not break something in you, to think that if you one day don't understand something, or misuse a word, or grapple with complicated feelings, it will forever stain you in the eyes of perfect strangers?

dude the world is fucked, and we all see it, but like. it doesn't feel like it helps to be so goddamn reactive. it doesn't feel like it helps anyone to demand perfection out the gate. it's exhausting. there are enough people out there who don't want to learn, who aren't trying, who actively revel in cruelty. looking for malice in every little fuck-up from people who seem to be genuinely striving to live their lives with kindness strikes me as lending strength to an army that already glories in suffering. and makes the world look more fucked than ever. and i really don't know that that energy is what we need when there's already so much to set right.

maybe it's just me. maybe this last decade just shattered something in me. but i really, really hate the idea--reject the idea, frankly--that people can't learn and change and grow. that people can't be better than a bad day or a failure of understanding. i reject the idea that people are something to be thrown out because they fucked up. it just seems...yeah. bleak. really fuckin' bleak.

#personal #i dunno dude #this is that fighting energy from earlier. found some actual words for it i guess #but i'm just so tired #shit's fucked. some shit's complicated. and some isn't--some feels incredibly straightforward to me. #and to the next person maybe there's more nuance. it's all so fucking...there's so much to process all the time #and i catch myself in knee-jerk mode #i catch myself writing people off. making lists in my head. sometimes it's just purely a matter of safety #but god the things i'd give for some of those people to come back into my world #to learn. to grow. to apologize. to decide they value kindness and life over brainwashed beliefs #i would give so much for those friends back. those family members. those people i knee-jerk wrote off back in 2015 #i shrunk my world down when i cut them out. i shrunk it down when i told them to fuck off instead of having a conversation #i actively made my safety net smaller in the effort to keep myself protected #and i just keep watching other people do similar things #and thinking like. if i could go back. if i wasn't so hot-headed and Certain that evil thoughts make a person evil #or that miseducation or ignorance or straight-up brainwashing broke a person for good #maybe it would all be different now than it was for my 25-year-old self #i just. i don't fucking know. #people are trying. people need to KEEP trying. #and telling them they're shit for NEEDING to try is only ever going to carve out the part of them that wants to be better #the world is fucked. why help fuck it even more. what is the point of that. #and i'm not saying don't call people on their shit. but maybe calling them shouldn't look like telling them to kill themselves #maybe it should involve a little grace #slamming doors just feels like it makes the house smaller. and shuts off exit routes you might need later #and i kinda wish i'd known that in my 20s

[bigmeansweatydyke]

i honestly wish i knew more dykes irl because yeah i love all my friends but sometimes i just don't wanna be around or hear about men lol. like i just wanna chill with other lesbians and not even think about someone's lame ass boyfriend showing up or having to hear about whatever ugly dumbass dude someone is with

#ramblings #yes i sound like a huge bitch blah blah idc sometimes i want a reprieve from straight people/relationships lmao #like i'm so tired of pretending to give a fuck about your boyfriend i'm sorry women #my post

[deanpinterester]

hi what

#uhhhh me #atla #listen i have very little stakes in this #i didn't grow up with atla so it doesn't hold nostalgic value the way it does for a lot of people #i think a lot of live action remakes are unnecessary but i do try to give them a chance #however comma. due to recent underwhelming adaptations my patience with them is wearing Thin #i am getting tired of showrunners trying to change things from the source material that had no reason to be changed #sometimes even things that are straight up important or The Point #i'm sure they'll still try to give sokka an arc w the kyoshi warriors but their reasoning for it is #questionable to say the least #like sokka's sexism is literally A Thing He Had To Overcome. it's not portrayed as a good trait #if a kid's show can handle this then the grittified remake absolutely can too #and i KNOW. i know this is just a soundbite from an interview. it might not be as bad as it sounds #but given what i've been seeing from adaptations in the past few months/years. i really doubt it #also lol love the comments on the thread saying 'can't wait for the show to say azula is actually nice now!' #(also i do not blame the actors for defending this change. they are basically obligated to never say anything bad abt the show)

[agrebel18]

m-spec people 🤝 aspec people 

being seen as “not real queer people” and that we “hog up REAL queer communites” plus some bigots think that we have to eventually “pick a side” and whenever we get some representation of one or both of these sexualities in media, some think it’s “not gay enough”

#btw this is NOT HATE on straight and gay and lesbian peeps!! I LOVE Y'ALL!!! VALID QUEER PEOPLE AS WELL!!! #and I AM PROUD of being aspec + mspec but I will admit that it can be tiring sometimes #anyways biphobes rot in hell!!! and so can aphobes!!! #aphobes fuck off #biphobes fuck off #bisexual #pansexual #omnisexual #aromantic #asexual #fuck queerphobes #also terfs dni #and 'gender crits' or whatever the fuck that is #aggie posts

[coolauntlilith]

I do block blogs calling a canon bisexual character gay/lesbian. No I don't see it as a blanket term kind of way, yall have made sure of that.

#*points to the sign of every damn time this has happened* *points to the sign that just says 'bi lesbian' on it* #*points to when it happened to me irl & how i got erased out of my own identity and the thrown back into the straight category for being bi #*points to - #you get the picture i hope #if you dont then block me you already terf or damn near being one #yall cant handle bi lesbian (for which ive mulled over identifying with since im lately only interested in women) #like i know this isn't a blanket term issue #yall aint even saying 'lesbian relationship' which i do often pass by in good faith. your wording is 'thes lesbians' and one is a #canon bisexual character #its so obvious to me and im tired of it #sometimes i just want to go on canon lesbian character posts of these people and say the same thing back for canon lesbians but call them b #thatd hurt right? that be erasure right? #fuck yall bitch about erasure but are constantly doing it #aunt posting #canon bisexual characters #canon bi characters #canon bi character #*the lately has been about 3 years. time isnt real-real

[13eyond13]

.

#how do people casually bring up that theyre gay at work hahahaha #asking for a friend and MAYBE because i find one of my coworkers cute and she is def of the sort of vibe where its like #i could see her being straight or gay both easily you know #anyways how do i just like float that without it being awks you know what i mean #im not one of those obvious lesbians people default to thinking im straight mostly #anyways!!! girl help i am SO BAD at showing interest and availability but #i feel like some groundwork needs to be laid before i flirt you know #and #im not interested in the game of 'oh you dont know what you are yet or youre probably straight but maybe i can change your mind' hahaha #im too old and tired for that now i just wanna meet someone #who knows for sure they like girls #not just like girls but you know... would be happy to spend the rest of their life with a girl #so i gotta find out #and we never really talk about stuff like dating or relationships so its hard to just casually mention it without it seeming forced #actually maybe this is why social media is useful sometimes you dont always have to find out by asking but #unfortunately i dont use it like at all except for shit like this anymore hmmm ooops #p

[r1ghtwhereyouleftme]

Me: I hate [insert thing here] discourse

Also me: *gets so annoyed when people are blatantly stupid and do things thay make zero sense therefore making me go along with discourse bc I can only handle so much stupidity*

#yes this is about queer discourse bc oh my god its painful #yes let people be themselves but also stop being stupid #sometimes things contradict each other and you can be both and that's fucking ok #its like the shit where ive seen people literally just too afraid of one label for whatever reason so they make up a middle label #god i sound shitty out of context #i mean like bi lesbian- you cant be bi and a lesbian that doesnt work #its ok to be bi its ok to be lesbian fuck its ok to be straight i just wish people would stop skirting around labels for dumb reasons #and this is all coming from someone who struggles like hell with labels #i also hate slur discourse bc its very simple who can and cant say what #like if youre cishet ofc you cant say a slur #and nonbinary people are trans so we can say a slur dont fuckign diminish our transness you transmed ass freaks #god damn i hate getting riled up about stupid probably 14 year olds on the internet #people are dumb and im tired of them #long story fucking short do what you want just dont be stupid or an asshole #this was a lot of tags

[harrowharkwife]

it would be cool if talking to my mom could help me feel better for once instead of. making everything worse

#sometimes i get so violently jealous of people who have good relationships with their moms #and who can go to their mom with any problem and just get a hug and some good advice #or even just reassurance that it will be okay #like my mom came over for a couple hours and i literally told her yesterday about how depressed i am #and that it's really bad and that i need to go on antidepressants #so why tf did she think i was in any frame of mind to be nagged for two hours straight about logistics and plans for the future #like. i don't have any bandwidth right now!!! for anything!!! take the fucking hint!!! #i ended up bursting into tears and telling her to either knock it off or get out of my house and. well. she left! so #my dad is usually my supportive parent but he's dealing with such bad depression and burnout of his own rn #that i can't really go to him with anything cause he's at capacity and i don't want to stress him out #just. im tired I'm so fucking tired im exhausted there's too much to worry about and she came over and put like twenty more things #on my plate #and tried to pick fights #and i just. idk. i wish i could rely on her. but i can't and i know that and IDK why i keep trying #delete later

[stinkrascal]

#vent tw #bc this turned emo #i feel like ive said this a lot so just ignore me if im repeating myself #but ive been so exhausted lately its ruining my days :( #i literally sleep like 13+ hours a day if not more #sometimes im out for like 20 hours #typically its not straight its like. i’ll sleep for 4 hrs then wake up for 30 mins then sleep again #and then by then end of the day its like 7pm and ive just woke up. i hate it #its 5pm and i just woke up but like thats basically my entire day gone now #i just feel so tired all the time. like i cant do anything but sleep. my motivation is zero #i hate it i hate it i hate it. i feel dumb #ik im complaining about stuff that seems trivial bc like most people have real things to stress about. meanwhile im just sleeping my days #away. but i still hate it. i wish i could stay awake and see thru the day without sleeping through the majority of it. :( #health wise i’m terrified there’s something like legitimately wrong w me. i mean mental wise too #it’s just that i’m so resistant to change and VERY resistant to getting help for myself that nothing gets done #i’m sorry ik this is heavy i’m just frustrated 😭 i don’t have anyone to tell this to so i’ll tell this to you 🤸 #kinda feels like i’m talking to a friend then. even if it’s just the tumblr void

[storm-of-feathers]

aaaaaaa

#minor vent? i guess #but i fuckign aaaaaaaaaaaa #my next three or so weeks are going to be BUSY and i fjjfjsgjejaonfjif #this is like my Last Week of Peace before it all #my next three weekends at least are busy #im actually sort of grateful the plans i originally had for yesterday fell apart bc idk if i could have like. dealt w that #a bitch needs their PEACE #and part of the issue is like. no seems to... believe me when i tell them im busy? #like people keep saying shit to me like ''well you cant be THAT busy bc xyz'' and its like #my busy is different from your busy. if i can only manage a few things in a day and then i have things in the day #then yes. thats busy for me. #even when i was employed at any job i almost never took any pride in the idea of me being overworked #bc it was terrible for my mental health both to be overworked and to see it as a virtue. #and in some jobs it was straight up dangerous. #ig. maybe thats why #people know what i used to do or what my busy used to look like. and compare me to that #idk. idk. idk why anyone does anything but its hard not to like #take it personally. sometimes. #when people are like ''well you dont have a job and you dont go to school so you cant be THAT busy or tired'' #while not understanding how exhausting it is to hear that i shouldn't be exhausted. like fuck off. #okay minor vent turned into major vent oopsie #thank you if youve read this far and this doesnt apply to anyone who can read this #im just so tired. and people keep talking to me like i dont have any right to be.

[satoruxx]

how did i avoid friend drama for so many years and now it’s being thrown in my face at age 20??

#it’s so tiring oh my god #girls can be so mean sometimes tho #why do we need to make other people feel like shit #and then fight about it #and if you have a problem at least be mature and talk about it straight up #idk i’m so over this #[𐐪— rheya talks. 𐑂]

[kelpiemomma]

my grandma got her (less than a year old, untrained, unhousebroke, has been in a total of 3 different places her whole life) puppy a service dog vest.

we're doing this again, huh?

#she also got her last dog a service dog vest #and had her registered as an emotional support animal #her last dog had almost no recall and very poor training #my grandma would take her to senior centers and senior housing areas and the dog would just run up to people #jump on their legs and jump on their laps without being asked #i really wish she wouldn't have gotten another dog #she doesn't pay it any attention #she sits watching tv & doing stuff on her phone and just. exists with the dog. like to the point where when the dog WAS alerting #that she had to go out and go potty (back when she did that) my grandma would straight up just ignore her bc #'oh she just wants to go outside she won't go potty' #and now we have a dog who sometimes uses potty pads and sometimes uses the fucking living room carpet or the tile #but never alerts to needing to go outside #the most my grandma interacts with her (genuinely) is taking her to go potty (a couple times a day) brushing her (or attempting to. idk if #she still tries to brush the dog bc it would scream and nip at her when she did) and bringing her out for the am and to bed in the pm #i feel bad for not liking the dog bc i know its not her fault its my grandmas #but also the dog is annoying as fuck and will not leave its crate when my grandma is out of the house. you open the door and she just. #stays there. and stares at you. #you can walk away and leave the door open and she won't go anywhere. #I'M. SO. TIRED. #its going to be ANOTHER fucking 10-13 years of HER DOG pissing on the floor i just know it

[technicolorxsn]

maybe I should

#i kinda want to meet with him again before im too busy again.... #one more time to feel connected rather than isolated #i tried... i did talk to people and try to connect but... it feels like no one ever hears me #i get responses but no questions back #i hate always having to do all the work in everything.. sometimes i wish someone else would for a change #i dont like having to make all of the effort... #i hate that once i start it becomes expected #and if i stop or ask for change im 'being mean' and it hurts #is it really so much to ask for someone to want too? #it makes me feel like people only put up with me... only placate me #maybe its true.. it has been in the past #i dont think they cared about me.. im not sure she did either anymore #i just... make myself useful and sometimes i wonder if that's the only reason im kept around #because of kind words and gifts and my willingness to play mom and therapist and fill whatever need #what if thats all im good for? #i love giving gifts. i love putting in effort. i love showing how deeply i care. i love talking to people. i do. #but i hate that its always my 'job' my 'responsiblility' #and if i ask for any reciprocity im in the wrong.. im too much work or im just straight up wrong and 'what do you mean i totally do? youre #just needy and crazy' #im so tired.... #i wish it were also seen as what it is rather than it becoming expected.. #its a gift not an obligation.. i want people to appreciate what i do rather than expect it.. #at least hes not like that.. not really #hopefully i can meet with him this weekend