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levmada · 1 year

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Gee!!! Drabble request!

[CHIN] - sender tucks receiver in under their chin.

My eruri for yours! Let's have a Levi who's kept the stress from the day under wraps until he goes to Erwin's room, and he gets uncharacteristically flustered as he tries to decompress from the day. And then a soft moment where Erwin tucks Levi in under his chin to settle him.

thank u andrea i love u andrea<3 expect another eruri for eruri or else🔪

//oral, praise, HURT/COMFORT, canonverse, self-hatred, just eruri loving each other the end, massages, insomnia mentions

The sun is finally setting on a day that's lasted years. Outside the window at the end of the hall, where Levi stands before a set of two doors, the golden hour practically penetrates the floor it shines on, casting it in that golden color. It's beautiful, and mocking him with said beauty.

He glares at the doors. The bronze nameplate has inscribed upon it is Erwin's name and title. He would go in without even knocking if he didn't feel like a boiling volcano. Not even an hour ago he stood at this same spot, but he could feel himself so wrung-out, snippy and pissed at everything including the fit of his clothes that he left.

After a shower and scraping the mud off his boots, he felt a little better, but he could still snap at anything right now. Including the sun glare. He hasn't eaten, not hungry, so his fingers are not only trembling, but tremoring.

Today was back-breaking but he doesn't feel like he did anything productive somehow, so he feels behind, and hungry, and missing Erwin. He doesn't want to burden him with his shitty mood, but he knows, just knows, that his presence would calm him down.

So he stands, paralyzed by indecision.

The doors pull back open, startling Levi. Of course it's Erwin, who looks neutral and had known he was here. He's dressed down to loungewear, and freshly showered by the look of his floppy, damp bangs.

All he can do is ready himself to be deciphered and his feelings known, a talent only Erwin has. Luckily Levi doesn't have to say anything.

Erwin blinks, his diamond blue eyes then filling with a concoction of worry and confusion. this is so embarrassing...

"Hello, Levi. Did something keep you back? You're here later than usual."

They both know Levi's strict routine when it comes to all things. Even so, Levi doesn't put it past Erwin that he noticed he was out here. It's what he does. Notice.

Erwin asks, “Do you want to come in, love?”

Love. Tenderness and fear roils in his chest. He wants to collapse, or hit himself.

Without meeting his steady gaze, he walks straight forward and buries his face in Erwin's chest, who's strong like a wall, and soft, his cotton shirt, and just, here.

As Erwin wraps Levi in his arms, he tightly clutches the back of Erwin's shirt. As he strokes his back, Levi almost melts into a puddle on the floor.

"Have you eaten?"

He shakes his head.

"Let me fetch you something... I was already winding down for the evening. It's your turn."

Levi doesn't move. Erwin, more tender than ever embracing him, walks them both backwards into his quarters. Levi wriggles away to close the doors, and then returns to his refuge. They stand there in the entranceway, hugging tight. It feels like Erwin is molding him back together, in a way.

"You smell nice," Erwin compliments.

“Would hope so,” he grunts. “I took a shower.”

“But no dinner. It's only fair I get onto you about that, don't you think? ...How about tea?"

His throat tightens up a little. In almost every case, Levi is the one getting onto him about eating enough. Arguably they both work long hours on a heavy workload, but Erwin is the definition of neglectful when it's towards himself, in any case.

Surprisingly, Levi considers the offer of tea instead of immediately agreeing. Although he and Erwin sleep together, he didn't sleep last night for whatever reason. Sometimes it's warranted and sometimes he just gets unlucky, and his own exhaustion is catching up to him. His knuckles ache a little from holding onto Erwin, like a straw breaking the camel's back. He can't think of how to put this feeling into words.

Erwin inhales like he's going to speak. They both sense each other's surprise, even Levi's surprised at himself.

"Allow me."

Levi's instincts prick a little, a signal that goes off when something is about to happen. It's been that way his whole life, but it's still a shock when it's a good thing, like Erwin swooping up the backs of his knees and behind his back, picking him up in his arms like a bride. His stomach swoops like a great wind.

"Fucking hell," he mutters dryly, squishing his face in Erwin's shoulder.

Erwin grunts in amusement. "Romantic, aren't I?"

"Rots my teeth," he retorts, when Erwin is this sweet.

Erwin sits him down at the foot of their big bed, and kneels in front of him. Now they're about eye-level, Erwin a little lower. The bed is a little high up, leaving Levi's feet to brush the floor. He's felt terrifically small plenty of times, mostly next to Erwin, but he likes it in Erwin's bed.

Erwin slides off his dark loafers, rubbing, then massaging gently. Levi's eyes flutter, and beyond all his control, he sags, swallowing a moan.

Erwin doesn't beg his attention too much. They both know Levi especially dislikes being "taken care of", so to speak. It's just something they do for each other.

“I'm surprised you have nothing to rant about.”

Complaining is a healthy ritual when something is shit. Looking back, all the annoyances, disappointments and anxieties merge together in his mind.

“I don’t fucking know,” he grumbles, annoyed by himself. His brows furrow, and trains his eyes on nothing in particular. “Tch. Useless.”

Erwin looks up, pausing a moment. "You are not."

He goes on lining up Levi's shoes beside him, and takes his hands, massaging each and every finger. Levi didn't notice until now that a couple callouses are flayed. That must've happened when he let off some steam on the ODM gear earlier.

"I'm not gonna sleep anytime soon, either," Levi grunts. He's exhausted, but insomnia is a sixth sense of his. "Just get in this bed... if you have nothing better to do."

He tuts. "I'm never too busy when you require my presence."

Levi rolls his eyes. A weird sensation when they sting. Pathetic. "Sap. Whatever."

"It's true," he says, now more firmly. They lock eyes for a moment.

Levi looks away and quickly wipes his eyes, passing it off as fixing his freshly washed hair. He runs his hand through it, huffing to himself.

Erwin unbuckles Levi's belt, untucks his shirt. There are three buttons at the collar, which he undoes too. "I'll get you something more comfortable. Don't say that I don't have to," he teases.

"Tch."

Erwin makes a spot between his legs—which is a tight fit, Erwin being so huge—and embraces him, this time tucking Levi's head under his chin. Neither of them are cuddly people, necessarily, but Levi needs a place to hide as he tears up.

Only Erwin, even still, will ever see him this way. Has ever. Erwin always accepts his pain, so he has nothing to defend himself from, and thus breaks him without any need for a weapon or tool to do that with. No one else can do that. No one can do that for Erwin, who has been on the receiving end of this plenty of times too. Erwin is his refuge, and he's Erwin's, each other's only ones.

Whenever they're together this way, Furlan's words occur to Levi—that it takes strength in equal measure to be weak in front of someone else.

"Erwin..." he starts to rasp.

"I know... I know."

They agree to get Levi something to eat before going to sleep, but before eating, they go to bed for a while.

Like he said he would, Erwin retrieves for him a comfy sweater of his that makes Levi feel like an old geezer, if it didn't fit him like a short dress. It's much more flattering on Erwin. Levi changes into it in front of him, leaving his boxer briefs on.

Knowing better than to argue, Levi crawls under the covers while Erwin puts away Levi's clothes, parts the curtains on the far wall, and cracks open the window. The summer night air is one of his favorite smells, smoky, soft and sweet. Crickets sing, and trusses shift in the breeze.

He's reminded again, like he is every other hour in a day, how grateful he is to have left the Underground, despite all the blood, shit and agony that comes with it here, too. He's here, thanks of course to Erwin.

Erwin follows behind him. That familiar creak of the bed, the bed which sags with his weight. He cuddles him from behind, like two spoons in a drawer, one big one small.

As he predicted, although worn mentally and his limbs heavy—even combined with the summer smell, sounds, and Erwin all by himself—he doesn't doze off at all. Resting his eyes feels nice.

Levi turns his head, blinking his heavy lashes, and hums in gratitude when Erwin kisses him, all lazy and slow, but doting, too. Communicating feelings too precious to fit into mere words.

Next to this overwhelming, disarming sense of pure safety, he tilts his head for more, kissing hard for what his exhaustion is worth.

Suddenly Erwin pulls him much closer, hand closing on Levi's cheek to keep him in place. Lust bakes his lower half.

He melts into the kiss, whimpering when teeth hook into his bottom lip. The position is awkward, but he leans in until his neck strains.

"Like a little attention?" Erwin breathes, all low, secretive almost, that gets him going even more.

"Maybe," he scoffs.

He lays his lips on a fading mark at the column of Levi's neck, and dots his shoulders with them. The freckles spotting them that only appear in the summer.

Levi bears his neck to him, pulling his hand under the baggy shirt, oven-warm. "More."

"Mhm?" Erwin mouths at his nape, making him melt and relax, squirming lazily. He takes his time there as he strokes and flicks his nipples into hard points.

"Fuck," he breathes, shivering from the press of Erwin's teeth. The sense of his strong nose pressing against his neck, and warm, plush lips.

“Mm. Is that nice?”

“More,” he demands, ever impatient. He fits his arm under Erwin's, palming his swelling cock, twitching under the pressure. "If you fucking tease me..."

"I would never," he teases, but then, his big hand covers Levi's, over his crotch, giving him perfect, fiery friction.

Levi shamelessly grinds against it, out of breath now. That and the sucking motions to his tender neck destroys the little hope he had of being quiet.

He notices an utter lack of Erwin, who can't not be hard, pressing up against his backside, and huffs at that.

"I want to please you," he tightly whispers. "In the morning."

"Tch."

He knew he'd say that. Granted, Levi doesn't have the energy to push against him much more than he is—he's already tired out. If Erwin insists on being the self-sacrificing type, Levi will plan as he always does to get him back for it later.

He's loud, all Erwin is doing is massaging his cock through the cotton. His thighs squeeze on it, sending shivers through his body.

"Love how sensitive you always are..." He whispers, "Good boy."

"Fuck," he curses, clutching his big bicep for anything to hold onto. "I can't... 'Vin."

“Lay on your back for me, and spread your legs.”

Eager to please, to earn his praise again, he does as he's told, shedding the sheets. He can see his bold blue eyes again, and his rosy face, hazy with desire. It stuns Levi, always, the control Erwin has over himself versus what he wants to do to him. Between his legs, the bulge in his loungepants is prominent.

Erwin hooks his fingers in Levi's waistband, and peels them off. He huffs in relief as his wet cock slaps his navel, freed, but aching, needing. Erwin's big palms slide up his round thighs, laying them down spread wide open.

“Please,” Levi grunts. “Hurry the fuck up. Fuck.”

He's smirking, a smirk which kisses his tip and gets Levi's hips jerking upwards. Erwin, pinning him, makes him feel trapped in the best of ways. He doesn't have to worry about a damn thing.

Erwin rests his elbow on his thigh, abandoning it to stroke and tease his balls, effectively playing with his cock while he licks his leaky tip clean. Erwin moans, Levi knows because of the taste.

He hasn't shut up since Erwin put his mouth on him, and it's getting to him. He squirms relentlessly, for what his current strength is worth. Erwin's mouth drives him fucking insane.

"Please, pleaseplease," he mumbles under his breath.

He cards his fingers through his golden hair, soft like through water, then grips it as Erwin goes down, sucking inch by inch past his lips painfully slow, painfully good. He traces with his heavy tongue a pronounced vein.

Another testament to Erwin's patience—he rushes nothing, never sloppy, always so thorough, so every single sucking motion is like something to be savored. Even when he goes steady, Levi feels himself being pulled undone knot by knot, and he shakes. It's searing and soft inside. When he fills his throat again, then again, Levi moans.

"Erwin... fuck... Fuck, fucking, your mouth..."

His thighs tremble, but despite that, Erwin's hold over him never falters, not once. His mouth sounds so fucking wet, not heard over his moaning. He's left just to close his eyes and feel, feel it growing closer, expanding slowly as he messes Erwin's hair.

Levi inhales so his chest heaves as Erwin's tongue swipes through his slit. He bobs his head steadily now, faster as Levi's muscles twitch and tense, as his cock throbs on his tongue.

"Erwin..." he moans in warning, tossing his head. "Getting..."

A thick groan from him, his rapid bobbing and sucking motions tight—Levi's back snaps off the bed when it slams into him. He can't even get out a strangled warning in time—

He gasps, the erotic moan that swells from his chest embarrassing. As hard as he writhes and pulls at him, Erwin doesn't falter, sucks him and swallows his climax. It's almost violent in its intensity, so intense that when he's done, he melts to the bed, limp and panting. A little embarrassed inevitably from coming that hard. He covers his face with his elbow, swallowing. His face is hot.

Erwin pulls off, stroking his thighs. "Perfect—I don't tell you that enough."

It's one of those times after that he feels terribly fragile, even like he could cry. It's annoying. Sometimes he hates the things Erwin can pull out of him, but he kisses him back when Erwin leans down.

Erwin knows what he wants, too, again, when he lays with him and brings him to his chest. Levi lays his head down, still catching his breath.

Needs. He always knows.

#eruri #snk eruri #eruri fanfic #eruri fluff #eruri smut #eruri fic #erwin x levi #levi x erwin #erwin x levi smut

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skatingbi · 6 months

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HOW WILL SANJI AND ZORO BECOME BESTIES IN MY OP FIGHTER PILOT AU?? WELL IM GLAD U ASKED!!

It starts slow, but it definitely begins after their 1v1 dogfight training. TL;DR- Zoro gets humbled during the training exercise against Sanji.

Long answer:

In practical lessons the instructor (who I REALLY want to make Admiral Garp), at the request of Luffy, has Zoro and Sanji practice 1v1 dogfighting for the mission since only two aircraft will be available...And it goes about as well as you expect. Zoro has the upper hand until suddenly, Sanji pulls back and uses the abrupt change in speed to change directions easier and punches forward and upward to gain a height advantage. Eventually, after 2 thousand feet or so, it makes Zoro pull back enough for Sanji to maneuver the stick and crank the jet perpendicular to the surface to get right behind Zoro's aircraft and...bullseye. I'd have to rewrite this later since im still researching how to write dogfights and just general flight mechanics, but hopefully, it gets my point across for now.

Zoro is absolutely FLOORED and since then respects Sanji, but still picks fights with him.

He holds a newfound respect for Sanji and becomes more cooperative as a nav instead of complaining, which weirds Sanji out but like whatever, right?

In their bunks, Sanji is usually restless and hates sleeping (night terrors? PTSD? insomnia?? the world will never know), and Zoro wakes up one night and just goes, "Wanna spar?" and Sanji is confused because sparring for him was never fun, but Zoro looks like he's about to take back the offer, and so he says sure without even thinking.

That starts their semi regular training together other than top gun bullshit they have to do, and Sanji always goes to bed humbled since Zoro kicks his ass every time.

Zoro is a great guy and a great teacher in hand to hand combat. He learns that Zoro wasn't always a pilot, that he did get stationed in places like the north blue. He learns that Zoro has seen the more disturbing parts of war that pilots dont see every day. He also learns that Zoro isn't all just muscle and density (physically and mentally, Sanji thinks to himself), but he also despises sweets and thats why he never falls for the trick of candy in the MRE's that always have Luffy running laps every lunch despite it being a known rule.

Eventually, the arguing is more like playful bickering with camaraderie hidden behind it. Sanji picks fights for the hell of it, and Zoro rolls with it. Zoro knows that he would trust sanji with his life when shit hits the fan, and so would Sanji if the same happened to him.

Friendship for them is the same as they were before except theres respect and trust that they each earned, and Nami can finally breathe and is like "Thank god y'all got your shit together."

...

One night after their ritualistic sparring session when Sanji is asleep, he is suddenly woken up to Zoro gasping for breath and thrashing, and then the man throws himself off the bed and lands with a thud loud enough to wake up Luffy and Usopp. Usopp is confused as fuck and Luffy snorts awake and is half asleep until they both see Zoro suddenly stand up, extremely alert and sweating.

"Hey Zoro..? What's up, man?" Usopp asks tiredly with his question laced with concern. Whats weird, though, is that its like Zoro doesn't hear them. He's standing where he fell one second and suddenly making a sweep of their bunk the next. Sanji is watching from his top bunk, looking down at Zoro before looking straight at Luffy. It's almost like Luffy knows, and he nods and says, "Let him do his thing, i trust you to know what to do, Sanji," And so he does what Luffy says.

Everyone listens to the squad leader and quietly lets Zoro sweep the parameter, check the door, check around outside, the windows, the window locks, under the beds, until Zoro is standing in the center of the room with a look that gives away everything Sanji needs to know. Zoro isnt here, at least not mentally, so he slowly shuffles out of his top bunk, making note of how Zoro's gaze flicks to him suddenly and makes sure to telegraph his movements before they even happen.

After a few minutes, he's in front of Zoro, looking directly into his eyes and standing. Zoro's eyes almost seem distant, looking through him but into his soul at the same time.

"Hey, moss, what's going on in that head of yours?" Sanji whispers low enough, so it's barely heard by Luffy and Usopp, who watch in case anything happens. Sanji knows, though. He knows Zoro won't do anything, and if he does, then Sanji knows that Zoro trusts him enough to stop him.

Zoro is staring, and eventually, Sanji slowly moves his arm within his view, gently resting his palm on Zoro's chest and feeling the elevated heartbeat. "Mossy, you with me? You're in our barracks now. Not wherever your brain thinks you've ended up," and he can visibly see Zoro deflate, then a rough palm shakily holds onto his wrist like his life depends on it. Zoro is trembling, his shoulders shake with each breath now, and his eyebrows scrunch like he's fighting with himself. Maybe he is, Sanji thinks to himself.

After a while- maybe 5 minutes or 20. No one was keeping track of time - Zoro eventually has enough self-awareness to clear his throat and really look at Sanji, who is still there and looking right at Zoro. It's grounding, the hand on his chest, and blue and brown eyes looking at him. Luffy and Usopp are asleep again, and Zoro takes one deep breath and lets it out, closing his eyes and counting to ten, and instead of the horrors he saw again in his sleep, he sees Sanji.

"Thanks, cook." Zoro whispers. It strikes Sanji in his soul how vulnerable it sounds. How Zoro squeezes his wrist gently before letting go.

They dont talk about it, or the other times it happens, or the times Zoro does the same for Sanji but its him using deep pressure therapy in the form of a hug after Sanji wakes up with a yell and fight overtaking his system when flight ironically loses the battle.

Their friendship is odd, but it comforts both of them in a way nobody else ever has. They both know each other well enough now that they can work alongside each other while constantly making jabs at each other. Their lighthearted bickering reveals smiles that were previously hidden, and it lets them feel like they can be themselves a little bit more.

#PLS SOMEONE GUSH ABT THIS AU WITH ME #one piece #sanzo #zosan #vinsmoke sanji #roronoa zoro #one piece fighter pilot au

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friendly-neighbourhood-spiderm4n · 2 years

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Yesssss thanks for responding to my questions! Could u do headcannons for a Will Byers x Big! Scary! Himbo! Male reader?( So, basically the reader looks like he could kill you in a heartbeat and everyone’s afraid of him, but he’s actually just a sweet, shy, dumb puppy and If you can could you add that he has demon powers that turn him into a gigantic demon, horns, sharp teeth, 7’5, all that jazz kind of like hulk powers?) If you could do even some it would be Fantastic! I love your writing and no one writes for Will, even though he’s obviously 💅. Plz? 🥺Sorry this is a long request! Here’s a reward cookie if you read it all 🍪

A/N - I was smiling the whole time I read this, I love this, it’s so cute!!

>Will finds it awkward yet kinda funny standing next to you. He is this regular 80’s teenager while you are scarier and far more intimidating then Billy.

>But then, he also loves to see you be soft and dumb, cause bro, he loves it, and low key needs wants it.

>If he ever roped you into playing D&D with him, he is always reminding of the rules, cause let’s be honest, they are hard to remember.

>If any of his friends make fun of you, he defends you. If any of his friends make fun of him (whether they are joking or not is another matter.), you just have to stare them in the eyes and they’ll with probably piss they’re pants.

>Joyce 100% knows. Mainly cause she was the one who encouraged him to ask you out.

>Adding to that, Will confessed, I’m sorry, but you is too dumb to realise or even slightly catch onto Will’s MASSIVE crush on you.

>I imagined you found out about the whole upside down around after star court mall cause he was moving, and needed to tell you.

>That’s also when he confessed to you.<3

>And then on Christmas break, he found out about your secret. Probably cause you guys went on a walk at night and some guy tried to attack you’s. You only showed you horns, your very sharp teeth and that terrifying stare that didn’t match your personality.

>Honestly, your parent/Guardian had to drill it into your head that intimidation was one of the very few ways to avoid serious problems.

>He freaked out. Poor boy had horrible flashbacks to when the Mind Flayer possessed him. He looked at you afraid, and you thought he was scared of you.

>You definitely started trying explain yourself and almost suffocated yourself cause you hadn’t stop talking for 5 minutes straight (which neither of you are.💅)

>It naturally took him some time (a week or so) to fully get the idea into his head that he was dating a demon boy.

>I feel like you would also visit him in Cali every 3 weeks for the weekend just it makes you sad to be away from him.

>If you have insomnia, he will play with your hair, your head in his lap, curled up in one of his shirts he wore as Pajamas. Probably almost falling asleep too.

>Just cause you have the hulk powers basically, he calls you ‘Smashable’.

>El knows you two are 2 gays and finds it nice that Will is happy.

>Johnathan was wary of you at first, then warmed up to you when he found you both passed out, surrounded by chocolate and fizzy drinks and sugar galore, holding each other while grease is playing on the TV.

>Jonathan still scolded the both of you for all the sugar, and for being up past 1:00am

>After that tho, he's feels more calm about you.

>When you're at you full height, he likes to play hide n' seek. He knows you kinda suck at it.

>If you ever have your horns out, and you do something bad, he'll grab you by the horn and drag you down to eye level before proceeding to tell you off.

>He definitely has painted you, whether that be looking like a regular human and a demon. (The demon ones are strictly hidden around his place to not alert his family, he doesn't to worry them, they've been through to much)

>He honestly still doesn't know if you can swim, despite living in Cali and having access to several.

>When it comes to sleeping, boy is always sleeping on you. You're the big spoon unless he wants to help you fall asleep cause of your insomnia.

>Joyce loves to have you over. Your a great help to all her kids and even herself. It makes her happy to see Will is happy with someone who really loves him.<3

#stranger things #will byers #will byers x reader #will byers x male reader

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noogit9000 · 4 months

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Noogit9000’s 2023 (DCA) Fic List

Preface:

Before I started reading fan fiction this past year, I hadn’t actually read anything for fun in about five years. The work that these authors shared has gotten me through one of the toughest times I’ve ever been through and has helped me grow as an artist. I even ended up writing something of my own this month, which is a leap I wouldn’t have taken if it weren’t for these works and authors. I have an immense appreciation for these.

Here is a compilation of all the fics I had read this past year!

Bamsara’s Solar Lunacy

This is the fic that got me into the dca fandom as well as reading fics in general. I owe this author a lot for the connections I’ve made through this fandom.

I also highly recommend these other works by Bamsara:

Celestial Omens (that really like Fishsticks)

Also some more Solar Lunacy stuff that I really enjoyed:

Bytes of Lunacy

Simply, a Head Cold

Wireless Behavior

Three Days, Three Nights, One Eclipse

Saturday Night Insomnia

This author also introduced me to Cult of the Lamb and has a delectable fic for it:

The Rehabilitation of Death

This one is a highly praised Invader Zim series that I had started reading and am enjoying so far:

Cryptids, Emotions, And The Possible End Of The World

Alright on to the next one;

Naffeclipse’s Cryptid Sightings

The thing about Naffeclipse’s writing is that each story has its own unique flavor that really makes them stand out from one another as its own Magnum Opus level piece. When I’m recommending fics to others, I’ll always throw in “anything Naffeclipse has written” because you truly can’t get the whole range without reading all of them.

Other works that I feel are a must-read include

The Sleuth Jesters Series

These ones are all unique merfics:

Apex Polarity

Crush Depth

Soul Bound to the Astral Sea

These are just the ones I’ve read, I personally aim to read the rest of the collection as well.

Holding the World Series by StarvingMe and SmuttySkitty

These authors have delivered some of the most memorable scenes I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. I think about them a lot.

I See You, Sundrop! by ShiraCheshire

This particular one just so happens to be the best written work I have ever read. I had picked up the fic just as it was concluding and spent a week straight just reading. Every chapter is a memorable one. I think about moments from this fic on a near daily basis.

So(u)l by Strawbubbysugar

Gotta be some of the best original characters written. I really like the characterizations in this author’s works and I look forward to seeing the development of their own IP.

Also read:

Bethroned

This one has some delicious world building.

Ghost in the Machine by Qwille

If you came into this fandom through the UTMV/Sans pipeline, you’re gonna love this one. This is one of those fics that is practically it’s own IP and has its own dedicated fan base.

Celestial Sundown by Clutterspace

This is I think the second fic I’d ever read for this fandom. I especially love the character designs and the original characters. What a beautiful world to have been born of a literal dream.

To Understand You by Dysfunk

When I saw this in my list I went “awww I love that one!” Tender moments and an excellent action sequence that will have you on the edge of your seat.

Holler If You Need Us by CasterCassette

Cowboys! I am a sucker for old western type stories, and this author crafts it perfectly. The artwork is iconic and this was one of the fics that I was really looking forward to reading on my “fic hit list” hehe.

Video Killed The Radio Star by TiaAndLulu

Also one that I highly anticipated after seeing some eye-catching artwork. As a WTNV fan, I love me the allure of the mysterious voice on the radio.

Alrighty, folks!

This concludes my 2023 fic list!

I’ve read at least a million words this year. I’ve taken up the role of a serial commenter. I’ve created a little bit of fan art, even.

I’ve experienced worlds and lived lives through these incredible works. I’ve talked my siblings’ ears off about them. No amount of blabbering could properly articulate the impact these works have had on me as a reader, a writer, an artist, a storyteller.

Thank you,

And here’s to another year of reading copious amounts of fan fiction!

#dca fandom #dca au

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shayyprasad · 4 months

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happy halloween to all, i guess | peter parker

tw: panic attack

posted to wattpad on halloween just putting it up here

also, can i marry mj

sorry this was posted late lololol

don't hate me for having y/n dislike horror movies cuz me personally, ik that horror movies can trigger things like trauma, loss of sleep (insomnia), and panic attacks

it depends on the person and they shouldn't ever be judged for that, because you simply cannot control these things

anyways thats it lmao

this is kinda based of smth that happened irl except i'm hopelessly single and don't have a peter parker, quite sadly

i bet u enjoyed this super long authors note

summary: halloween starts off fine, and then... well, it's not so fine.

you tried not to smile as you applied a layer of lipstick to your lips, eager to begin the night that lay ahead of you.

halloween was no doubt one of the best days of the year, and yes, despite being almost 17, you still went trick-or-treating. dignity was a mere price to pay at the rate of your happiness (in candy, of course).

but it had also gotten better after you starting dating peter in the 8th grade, because since then you and peter would always dress up together. this year it was peter pan and wendy, and you were beyond excited. you were dressed in her outfit, a blue dress, with your hair in a half up-half down hairstyle, held up with a blue bow. you hadn't done much with your hair, aside from curl it.

"i got it!" you screeched as you raced down the stairs, almost falling to your death multiple times, to answer the door. your parents locked eyes, clearly amused as you cleared your throat, straightened up and answered the door.

"hi, peter!" you grinned, grabbing your tote bag, because it would hold more candy, and yelling out a quick "love you, be home sometime today, i think" and closing the front door behind you.

he kissed you on the cheek, admiring your costume. "you look really pretty," he blushed.

"thanks, babes. you look pretty, too."

he helped you get in the car before getting in himself, "aww, love, you saved me shotgun!" you grinned, sticking your tongue out at mj and ned in the back. mj was a giant cardboard book, and ned was yoda.

peter looked at you, a sweet smile on his face as he rested his hand on your thigh. "'course, i gotta have my passenger princess with me at all times."

"god, gross. can you not eye-fuck each other for, like, 5 seconds?" mj rolled her eyes.

"we weren't-" peter tried.

but it didn't matter because you and mj were already catching up, even though you saw each other at school. something about brad and jessica, but he hadn't bothered much. his hand was still in the same place, with yours on top.

"okay," ned interrupted, "mj's neighborhood, right? you know they have the best candy?"

"then why'd you pick me up?" she asked.

you shrugged, "the candy's okay. you just like her place because that one house was handing out starwars figurines."

"that's not- yeah, no, you're right," ned shrugged.

"okay," nodded peter, "mj's place it is."

"again, why'd you pick me up then?"

the next couple hours were spent getting weird stares and collecting candy until most people went inside. at that point, you and the others decided to go to peter's and spend the rest of the night binge-watching halloween movies and stuffing your face with candy.

"i think we should watch the exorcist!" peter declared and you instantly frowned.

you hated horror movies. why would someone willingly want to be subject to a heart attack? that was completely, totally, nonsensical.

but peter did really seem excited about this, so maybe for one night you could suck it up. besides, when was the best time to watch a movie? halloween, right?

mj shrugged, "i don't care what we do."

"we totally should!" ned pumped his fist up and you mentally groaned.

"can weeee? pleaseee?" peter pouted.

"god, i can't think straight when you give me that face. but sure, i guess. i don't really care either," you said, trying to seem nonchalant. but mj must have seen right through your whole facade, because she rose a brow at you.

"awesomeeeee!" peter and ned high-fived each other before your boyfriend eagerly lunged for the tv remote, searching up the exorcist.

for the entire time you had your eyes on the screen, your heart rate never went down. you were trying to power through for peter, considering how happy he looked for it, not that you understood why. you squirmed and fidgeted against the couch, trying to muster up the courage to say something.

you could only take about about an hour until you felt like you'd reached your limit. your palms itched and your chest felt constricted. clumsily excusing yourself for the bathrrom, you stumbled out the front door, feeling the hot flashes against your skin, making your brain go fuzzy.

pulling up your knees to your chest, you clutched both sides of your head with you hands, heavy, ragged breaths leaving your mouth. you couldn't breath at all, and it felt like the edges of the world were blurring together, making everything feel hazy, sending you into a dark, starless oblivion.

hot tears were streaming down your face, and you were struggling to calm down.

"y/n? y/n! there you are! you'd been gone a long time, so i thought you were taking a dump, but you weren't in the-"

you didn't bother to look up, still focused on yourself.

"hey, angel, is everything okay? well, that was a stupid question. i-i'm here, love, i'm here," he wrapped his arms around you tightly, engulfing you a tight bear hug. you tried to pry yourself out of his grip, but he didn't let go.

you felt your breaths slow down and become more full, and you weren't crying anymore. you eased yourself into him and rested your head into the crook of his neck, sniffling quietly.

"feeling better now?"

you nodded.

"yeah, uh, i read somewhere that bear hugs help. b-because i know you, um, get those often, and i wanted to be able to help... because, you know, i love you," you cheeks flamed red as he spoke, the two of you had over only exchanged those words twice and counting.

"i love you, too," you murmured.

"w-what happened, baby?"

"um, it's stupid. like, really stupid," your voice broke and you knew he'd find it pathetic.

"i won't, i promise. you can talk to me, y/n, i'll never, ever, judge you."

"i just- i don't like scary movies," you cringed slightly at your words and how they sounded.

"that's it?"

"see? i knew you'd find it stupid," you pulled away from him, "because it is. and i'm stupid because i can't watch a freaking make-believe movie, and i'm so sorry because your girlfriend is a big, pathetic, stupid baby-"

"no, no, no, that's not what i meant! first, don't call my girlfriend any of those things, because she's not," he continued when he saw you smile. "and second, i'm the one who should be sorry. because that's on me. it's on me that i didn't know, and that put you in that position and made you feel like you had to watch that stupid movie." you didn't say anything, paying attention to the cracks in the steps.

"i'm so sorry, love, i had known, i wouldn't have put it on. and, hey, don't feel stupid. everyone get scared. i'm scared of spiders and i'm spider-man, for god-sakes," well, that made you laugh.

"it's okay. not your fault," you moved back into this side.

"we're good, right?"

"right."

"rad. now how about we watch monster house intstead? wanna know a secret? that's what ned's afraid of. he calls it a fever dream," he snickered.

"that's 'cause it is. also, did you just use 'rad'?"

#spiderman #tom holland #peter parker #tom holland x reader #halloween amirite #tw panic attack #yay still copying and pasting

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majorxmaggiexboy · 1 year

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I posted 2,570 times in 2022

That's 1,499 more posts than 2021!

1,412 posts created (55%)

1,158 posts reblogged (45%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@majorxmaggiexboy

@beterparker

@cutecutejames

@f-ro-g

@broosepayne

I tagged 1,474 of my posts in 2022

Only 43% of my posts had no tags

#the terror amc - 45 posts

#moon knight - 23 posts

#oh lord we're spammin the terror - 18 posts

#battinson - 17 posts

#thomas jopson - 13 posts

#the batman - 12 posts

#moon knight spoilers - 12 posts

#the batman 2022 - 12 posts

#food tw - 11 posts

#negativity tw - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#foggy gets this for matt foggy gets this for matt foggy gets this for matt foggy gets this for matt foggy gets this for matt foggy gets thi

My Top Posts in 2022:

maybe the real goncharov was the massive online group project that occurred along the way

292 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

Au where one night pre-series, when Steven is trying to stay awake, he just starts live streaming a talk about egypt. He opens with an introduction and explaining that he has a disorder and needs to stay awake. The stream goes for at least four hours. At one point there's a long aside where he's talking to gus instead of any viewers.

'insomnia Egypt guy' starts trending and the memes start popping up.

Marc and Khonshu have their own Opinions on the matter but Jake actively finds it hilarious

324 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

technically speaking Hickey’s final performance involved both singing with friends and climbing exercises so by Irving’s metric that man was probably straight by the time he died

410 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

Wait u know how for very long-lived celebrities u got these articles coming out every few years falsely claiming they died or are mortally ill or something,,,,

What if every once in a while Alfred has to force Bruce to go outside for a bit bc it's in the tabloids that this man is dead and u got people already setting up memorials or w/e bc they think it's real This Time and u got people calling trying to find out the arrangements for the estate and it's all over Twitter that there's a secret will and depending on the day sometimes Bruce's response is just to put on a shirt that says "not dead yet (sorry)" and stand in front of a traffic cam for a while

413 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Steven: Marc? Ah, right. That's the little American Man who lives in my head.

Marc: Steven? Yeah, no, yeah, that's uh, that's my emotional support...British guy.

Jake: Steven and Marc? Well, y'know those cartoons with the baby on a construction site? *stares into camera*

473 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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rollerskatinglizard · 1 year

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I posted 2,904 times in 2022

That's 344 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (0%)

2,891 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@unpretty

@roach-works

@elodieunderglass

@elfwreck

@expressions-of-nature

I tagged 2,900 of my posts in 2022

#video - 449 posts

#laugh rule - 347 posts

#funny - 308 posts

#cute animals - 240 posts

#beautiful scenery - 227 posts

#fav - 199 posts

#fascinating - 177 posts

#long post - 175 posts

#beautiful art - 147 posts

#well said - 133 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#what with all the ppl assuming straight means 'oh of course ur still attracted to the same sex u just don't do anything about it'

My Top Posts in 2022:

Writing trademark: let's see if these sweet dorks can sort their feelings out if they fuck (spoiler: yes)

Hah! I am fond of that trope, yes... >.>;;

7 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Motorcity (Cartoon) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mike Chilton & Julie Kane Characters: Julie Kane, Mike Chilton Additional Tags: Insomnia, Bittersweet, Hurt/Comfort, shortfic

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: “Hey, Jules, you up too?” She jumps hard and turns, swinging her legs back onto the landing. “Mike! Don’t walk around without your boots on, I didn’t hear you coming!” - Late at night, two insomniacs have a long-deferred conversation.

13 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

OC asks: #36 for anybody from After the Storm?

36: Tell us something about your OC that doesn't make it onto the page.

At times, Ben is mildly haunted by the question of if he might be Basil's dad.

Basil's parents were Spooks. Ben used to be a Spook. He's ace and uninterested, so he's not exactly hopping merrily from bed to bed, but he has slept with people for various reasons in the past, and he's also gotten his memory redacted a time or two, for Spook-related reasons. He could have slept with a lady Spook in one of those periods of time he can't remember now, at about the right time for her to have Basil later. He occasionally wonders, and then firmly pushes the thought away again. He's not set up to parent anyone, and he feels like he'd have to say something if he ever found out for sure.

Meanwhile Basil also wondered as soon as he met Ben at like thirteen, immediately went about sneaking a DNA sample to do the requisite testing, found out Ben's definitely not his dad, and moved on with his life. It never occurred to him to mention it; it's not like Ben wouldn't know for sure, right?

26 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

I love these lines ! Thank you for writing, you’re very talented!

Oh my GOD you did little COMICS, I LOVE THEM, I'M DYING!!!!

XD god, Mike sparkling hopefully at Chuck until he agrees to get at least partly naked, that's adorable. And the Very Srs Expression on I'm the helpfullest! RIDICULOUSLY cute!! Ahhh thank you so much, this made my day!

(These adorable dorks are from my incubus fic, Waves Hit My Head.)

33 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

One Week Book Sale

Our books are on sale at Smashwords from March 6th to March 12th! If you’re into m/m sci fi or fantasy, this is your chance! And remember, a chunk of each book is free to read if you want a sample to try first.

After the Storm is on sale for 75% off! 200k of queer post-post-apocalyptic hurt/comfort with cute boys, trauma recovery, found family, top-shelf erotica and really awesome women.

See the full post

134 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #oh my god I made so few of my own posts #posting could be FUN tho self! try it maybe!#long post

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gays4vulo · 3 years

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Very unfair of my brain to cause me to feel tired all day but here we are ready for bed & now my brain is simply refusing to sleep. Sir u wanted this in the first place, u can’t take that back

#my brain be like bc u have depression ur gonna be unable to sleep #I wonder if other ppl experience that like ur just so depressed u skip over the going to sleep coping mechanism.#straight into u have one night of insomnia

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atlabeth · 3 years

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nightmares - mike munroe x reader

summary: It was a deal made by two almost-friends in the early hours of the morning after the worst night of their lives, when they realized that all they really had left was each other.

a/n: so this is once again. not my normal content but ive been on an until dawn kick lately and fell in love w the characters all over again. i dont know if anyone still reads or writes for this fandom but. here u go. enjoy

warning(s): lots of cursing, canon typical violence, mentions of graphic violence/death (but nothing too descriptive), mentioned depression, insomnia, and alcoholism, some heavy themes but its hurt/comfort so it ends in fluff

wc: 4.8k

You were running.

You were running, and it was freezing — fuck, it was freezing.

You knew your surroundings; how could you ever forget? Every fucking moment on the goddamn mountain was engraved into your mind for what you assumed would be the rest of your life, an assumption that had since been proven correct.

And now, against your will, you were back. Of course you were back.

A shudder ran through your whole body as that all-too-familiar screech rang out behind you, each second of it like nails on a chalkboard in the worst way. Your lungs burned like all hell but you couldn’t stop — if you stopped, you were as good as dead.

Some part of this fucked up thing was almost funny. Humans were always boasting about how they were the top of the food chain, how they were the height of evolution. There was nothing to keep an ego in check like being hunted by a supernatural creature.

Any thoughts of bullshit philosophy were dashed from your mind as you took a hard right, nearly falling over from the sharp curve of the mountain but just able to catch yourself. Your heart was thundering in your chest, the beats nearly lining up with your sprinting. You felt an intense urge to turn around, try and gauge your chances, but the thought of slowing down for even a second terrified you. It’s not like you needed to anyways — you knew exactly what was after you.

You were nearing the end of your road, both literally and figuratively. You stumbled over a tree root, your hands splayed out in front of yourself at just the right angle to keep your momentum going and, in some feat of luck, stay upright and running.

But your luck had just run out.

Your senses were proven correct as the harrowing cliff edge came into view, and a thousand things screamed in your mind at once as your demise stared you right in the eye. You barely managed to catch yourself, very much aware that the snow falling into the void could’ve just as well been you.

That fucking screech again, even closer than before, and you whipped around as you took an instinctive step back. Your hands patted around everywhere, searching for something to defend yourself, but you had nothing. No gun, knife, even the ground around you was devoid of rocks.

You had nothing. You had nothing to defend yourself from this goddamn nightmare creature, and you were going to die.

Your eyes darted around wildly in an attempt to find something, anything, to save yourself, but there was nothing. You took another step back and felt your foot slip, your breath catching as you barely managed to save yourself with a twist and a lunge away from the edge. The shock of the ground and the cold against your skin was just enough to remind yourself that you were actually alive. Another pile of snow mimicked the fate that seemed imminent as it trickled over the side of the cliff, and you screwed your eyes shut as you tried to shut your mind up.

Think, goddammit, if you wanted to get off of this fucking mountain you had to think—

The screech that pierced through the night sky was far too close for comfort, and as your head snapped back towards the woods you swore that your heart stopped beating.

It had caught up. You were out of time you were going to die but you didn’t have anything and you were going to fucking die—

A flash of white pushed off a tree and lunged towards you, teeth bared as it emitted that horrible screech. You didn’t even have time to scream, completely frozen in place as one clawed hand reached your neck, and you braced for the moment of release.

You shot up in your bed, breathing rapid and unsteady with a barely contained cry on the edge of your lips as your hand instinctively flew to your neck. You heaved an almost strangled sigh of relief to know that your head was still attached to your body (it might’ve seemed obvious, but… your head wasn’t exactly on straight at the moment, all jokes aside) and collapsed against the headboard.

You ran your hands across your face as you tried in vain to calm yourself down, ultimately having to turn on your lamp to ease your troubled mind that there was nothing going thump in the night.

It had been this same routine almost every night — horrible nightmare, wake up crying or screaming or both, and start the day at 3 am because you couldn’t fall back asleep.

It was exhausting. You were exhausted.

You knew you couldn’t go on like this, but what choice did you have? Therapy had been mandated by the police for a certain amount of time after the incident, but… it’s not like it had helped. How could it, when no one truly knew what you had gone through?

Well… that wasn’t completely accurate.

One person knew what you were going through, and you hadn’t said as much as one word to him since that night. You didn’t really… know what to say.

Hey. I know we’re not all that close, but I’m sorry your girlfriend and all your friends were killed by a Wendigo and that I made it instead. Hope you’re not going insane with grief. I’ll send you a card at Christmas!

...yeah. You had no idea what to say to him after months of no contact.

The relationship you had with Mike Munroe was a strange one, to say the least.

None of you were the same after that night on the mountain. The horrors of the mines would be forever entrenched in your head, flashes of the Wendigos appearing every time you closed your eyes. You and Mike were the only ones who made it off, and the guilt you carried everywhere was a burden you knew you couldn’t shoulder. And even after the physical scars had faded, you knew the mental ones never would.

Sometimes you wondered how you had even managed to get involved with the group in the first place — bonds that had been made in your freshman and sophomore years had somehow managed to stay strong enough throughout the rest of high school, strong enough to cement your spot in the friend group and the yearly lodge visits. You liked them all well enough, enough to go up to an isolated mountain with them for a weekend or so, but… yeah. Sometimes you did wonder what the hell you were doing with them.

But now?

Now, you would give almost anything to hear Sam’s laugh or one of her compliments, or tease Ashley and Chris about their very obvious feelings; hell, you found yourself missing Matt’s useless football facts. And even though Emily and Jessica weren’t always the nicest, you still had managed to worm your way into their hearts. Knowing that you would never get Emily’s brutal but helpful advice or get dragged to a football game by Jessica again?

If someone had told you the difference between life-long trauma and a completely normal existence was that blonde girl with the braids in your biology class, you might’ve thought a little harder before accepting that party invite.

The days after you were rescued from the mountain passed in a daze, questions and interrogations from police never sticking for too long. And it didn’t even feel like it mattered, the way none of them seemed to believe you.

They kept you separated from Mike throughout the whole process, and you were only able to catch glances of him when you were being transferred to different rooms throughout the long process. It really was like something out of a horror movie — a group of teens go up to a lodge in the woods, and only two return with a story of unspeakable horrors — and rather than try and work out what had happened, they seemed intent on pinning the deaths on you and Mike.

As if you weren’t dealing with enough after watching your friends get murdered by the monster of another friend, the people that were supposed to be helping you were instead trying to charge you with them. If it wasn’t so fucking infuriating, it would’ve been laughable.

The worst part? You could hardly blame them.

When you took a second to listen to yourself, to what you were spouting to the police, you sounded insane. If you hadn’t witnessed it all first hand, you wouldn’t have believed yourself.

You told them to go down to the mines. That the thing that killed your friends would be down there, and they could see it for themselves.

You didn’t know if that was the right choice. Hell, you might’ve been sending those cops to their deaths. But it was the only way you could think of to get them to believe you.

(You doubted they would go down there anyways. What was the word of two crazy college kids over actual logic? Not much, you imagined.)

You were in that damn interrogation room for what felt like forever until you were finally taken to a hospital to get your wounds treated. But even in the hospital bed, police were by your side asking about what happened every day of your stay. After your discharge, you were forced into custody until they got information that they deemed satisfactory.

By some miracle, you and Mike weren’t charged with anything. The news might’ve gotten hold of your story, but you didn’t know. You didn’t want to know. You didn’t ever look at the news after the tragedy, too afraid that you would see the smiling faces of your friends staring back at you, or pictures of you and Mike with news anchors trying to talk about how involved the two of you were.

If there was one thing worse than going through hell, it was other people trying to make a profit off of your spiral.

Your friends’ families offered their condolences, but not much else. You didn’t hold it against them. Your survivor’s guilt was strong enough to know exactly why they didn’t reach out further.

(You blame yourself for their deaths, after all. Why wouldn’t they?)

It was the same situation with Mike.

Maybe you had purposefully drifted apart from him, trying to build up walls of your own so that he wouldn’t be able to spring it on you first. You assumed he hated you after what had happened, and he had every right to. You might’ve helped each other through the night, but you had no other option. Now, everyone else but you was dead — people he cared about more than you — and you just couldn’t face that.

But as you stared at yourself in your bathroom mirror, you realized that you might have to.

You looked awful.

Weeks of sleepless nights were catching up to you, appearing in the form of

hollow eyes and dark circles, along with a slight discoloration of your skin. The scars from the mountain had mostly healed, but there was a particularly nasty gash on your cheek that was still showing — it wasn’t doing you any favors in the ‘looking completely normal and sane and not severely sleep deprived’ department.

You splashed some water in your face to try and wake up a bit, but the slight drowsiness that followed you everywhere seemed to be a permanent part of you now.

(It was almost funny, in a way. You were so paranoid and alert all the time, unable to fall asleep, and yet it was all you could think about in moments like these. You wondered when irony had become such a staple in your life.)

You had tried talking to therapists, your friends, your family, even searching the internet for advice on what to do after a life changing traumatic event. Nothing had worked.

The simplest solution had come to mind more than once, but you had pushed it aside with the determination to work through this on your own. But now, staring at yourself and seeing how much you had deteriorated…

You had to go talk to the only person who would understand.

You had considered turning around more than once on the drive over.

Because, really, what the hell were you doing? Showing up at his doorstep in the middle of o dark thirty because— because what?

Because you had a nightmare?

He had gone through the same thing you had, probably even worse. Losing Jessica right in front of him, having to cut off his fingers to get free, spending countless hours alone, dealing with the nightmare that was the sanatorium, and then…

Well, you had been in the mines with him and Josh when it happened. There was no doubt in your mind that the scene replayed in his head endlessly, just like it did for you.

Showing up… it was going to be a mistake. You knew it was.

For all you knew, Mike had moved on already. He was stronger than you, he always had been. Maybe your presence would send him spiraling once more, or maybe it would just earn you a verbal beating like no other. Mike had always been nice enough, but the trauma you had endured was enough to turn a saint into his own worst enemy.

You didn’t know what would happen. You didn’t know anything, and as you turned down his street you regretted more than ever not keeping in touch with him. Maybe then you wouldn’t be in this situation, scrambling after your last hope for salvation after slowly killing yourself over the past few months.

But there was no chance to turn back now, because before you knew it your knuckles were rapping against his front door.

The pause between your arrival and a response was so long that you considered leaving and pretending like this never happened, but just as you began to step back the door swung open.

You didn’t really know what you were expecting, but… he was there. The only other testament to the horrors of Blackwood Pines, and maybe the only person that could help you through this.

“...hi,” you murmured, swallowing the sudden lump in your throat as you looked the personification of your shame in the eye.

Mike blinked a few times, whether to try and wake up a little or out of surprise from his visitor you didn’t know, but it was a few seconds before he responded in kind. “...hey. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around.”

You chuckled dryly as you nodded. “Yeah. Sorry for the sudden arrival. I’m, uh… I’m kind of surprised you even opened the door.”

He huffed out a short breath in a facsimile of a laugh. “Not getting much sleep these days.”

“That’s something we’ve got in common.” You crossed your arms across your chest and let out a loose sigh, eyes wandering around in an attempt to think of what to say next. It should’ve been so easy, but… but for some reason, it just wasn’t.

“Guess so.” That awkward silence stretched out once more, neither of you knowing how to fill it. Thankfully, Mike continued to take the plunge, but it wasn’t without a slight barb. “What are you doing here?”

“I—” you stopped just as you had begun, because you really didn’t know. You had come here for help, but could Mike really do that for you? He was the same as you — a fucked up teenager trying to deal with something so far beyond him.

“I don’t know,” you admitted as you made eye contact once more. “I… I really don’t know. I’m out of options, and… I can’t keep going like this. So I came here to talk, or— or to try and get some help. I don’t know.”

That same silence filled the air once more, the night ambiance the only thing in between the two of you. You missed when that silence used to be comfortable, but… you could only blame yourself for it.

“So— so, what?” he asked, the beginnings of a frown starting to crease his brows. “You just— we go through all that together up there, and then when we get back down you don’t say a word for months. And now— now, out of nowhere, in the middle of the night, you just show up and ask for help?”

“God,” you muttered. When he put it that way, it was true. It was ridiculous, to expect his help after the way you had just left him to deal with it all on his own for a reason borne of your own insecurity. “You’re right. This was— this was stupid. I’m sorry.”

You had already turned to go when you felt a calloused hand on your shoulder, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“No.” His voice was surprisingly soft as he sighed, stepping back with a shake of his head to make room in the doorway. “No, I—” Mike paused for a moment, as if he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I’m sorry. You can come in. Obviously, you can come in.”

Your eyes widened slightly as you tried to hide your shock at the gesture, but you weren’t about to turn it down. You nodded, and he stepped aside to make space for you to walk in. When you did, you were met with a mess not unlike the one back at your apartment, save for the beer bottles. Clothes were strewn about haphazardly on every surface, so you took a seat on a clean spot on the floor, leaning back against a chair and pulling your knees up to your chest. You actually preferred it this way — it was grounding, in a literal sense. Mike pushed aside a laundry basket and did the same, but pulled one leg up and let the other lay extended.

“Why?” he asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had been accumulating once more. “Why did you just…” he gestured around with his hands to try and get his point across but ultimately settled with a sigh. “You didn’t say anything. You didn’t try to text, or call, or write, or— or anything. Hell, I would’ve probably jumped to get a messenger pigeon from you. But it was just… radio silence.”

You picked at the dry skin on your thumbs as you tried to come up with an answer. “I… I don’t know,” you repeated. “It was stupid, and it was horrible of me to leave you alone. I mean… I don’t know why I did it. I know what I’ve been going through, and I know you’ve been going through the same. So I don’t know why I didn’t try to reach out and see how you were doing.”

He chuckled mirthlessly as his eyes swept over the empty bottles that had accumulated on the coffee table. “I’m not the best with alone.”

“I know,” you said quietly. “I thought…” you shook your head as you looked at the ceiling. “I thought that you hated me. I know that you cared about them all more, you were closer to all of them, and… and I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. That I would just always be a reminder of what you lost. And… and, I don’t know. Maybe it was my way of trying to move on. Was a stupid fucking idea, though.”

That got a genuine laugh out of him as he ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I get that. I dunno why I didn’t try to talk to you either. Maybe since you didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to either. This whole thing fucked me up.” His gaze moved to you. “Fucked us both up.”

“You can say that again,” you muttered as you tapped your fingers on your knees. “I can’t look anywhere without seeing them. I mean, I see that fucking…” you grimaced. “I see Josh, and I see what that thing did to him, and I just— I’m right back to step one.”

He swallowed hard and nodded. “...yeah. That was seven layers of fucked up.”

“You can’t just keep saying everything was fucked up,” you said dryly. “It was shitty, too.”

Mike snorted, some kind of slightly masochistic humor going on between the two of you. “Nothing really gets the point across like fucked up.”

“Guess you’re right,” you finally conceded with a small smile. “This is… this is nice. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to… I don’t know, to talk to someone like this.”

“It is,” he murmured.

Another pregnant pause hung in the air, but the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable now. Trickles of what it used to be like, of your old life, were beginning to poke through.

“I never hated you,” he said suddenly. Your eyes flicked up to meet his, and it was like his brown eyes were piercing through you as he continued. “I never did. After it happened… yeah, I was mad. I was fucking pissed, but it was never at you. You were my friend too, y’know? Even though we weren’t that close, we were still… we were still something. And I’m glad you made it. I just wish you hadn’t convinced yourself that you had to go through this alone. Maybe things would’ve turned out different, these past few months. For both of us.”

You nodded, choosing to avert eye contact first because you almost couldn’t handle the sincerity. Your heart sank a bit at the sight of all the beer bottles, and you knew that he was right. Maybe things would’ve been different if the two of you had weathered it together from the start. And so you said that.

“I still can’t help but feel like I’m to blame for—” you gestured around at the mess with a sigh, “for this.”

“Look.” His voice was raspy as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, and as he met your eyes once more you were able to see how truly exhausted he was. With dark circles that matched your own, scars that were still healing, and a certain hollowness behind his eyes… It was like looking in a mirror. And it made you realize how fucked up the two of you had really become.

Mike had always been good at holding himself together, putting up his signature egotistical-douchebag-jock act in the face of anything that threatened to tear him down, and more often than not he came out victorious. But not even class presidents were immune to the horrors that they had faced, and it was taking more of a toll on him than you had realized.

“It’s not your fault. You— you did everything you could; I know I’m still alive because of you. Besides, we were idiot teenagers — we still are — and none of them deserved to die because of it. Not Hannah, not Beth, not any of them.” Mike shook his head and sighed. “Not even Josh. Man was fucked up even before all of this, but he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He needed help, but instead he got his fucking… god. I can’t even say it. But he didn’t deserve it.”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, the subconscious process having stopped because of the weight of his words. It was cliche, but you didn’t know how much you needed to hear those four words: it’s not your fault.

“Maybe you should be my therapist,” you joked weakly. But as you let your eyes trail back to Mike you bit your lip. He hadn’t included himself in that statement, and it wasn’t too hard to figure out why.

“Mike… it wasn’t your fault either. You’re not just saying bullshit to try and make yourself feel better, it really wasn’t your fault. What do they say? ‘Getting through your guilt is the first step to recovery’ or some shit? You deserve to be here just as much as I do.”

“But it was,” he insisted. “It’s easy for you to say that. You tried to stop it, I… I just went along with it. Fuck, I started it all. Hannah and Beth went missing because of me, Josh went out of his fuckin’ mind, and if he hadn’t brought us all back up there for his revenge plot then they wouldn’t have died. How is it not my fault? Why do I get to live when all of them died because of me?”

“Mike,” you sighed. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know why we made it back when none of them did, but it’s not your fucking fault, okay? You— yeah, that prank was fucking stupid, but— but how could you know what was going to happen?” You huffed a laugh that was only slightly unhinged. “People pull pranks all the time. Native American legend cannibal spirit things don’t try to kill people all the time. You can’t keep blaming yourself. It’s not going to help them, and it’s not going to help you.”

That silence stretched out once more as he took in your words. You didn’t know if he believed them or not, but you did. That had to be worth something, right?

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” he muttered, breaking the silence once more. “And I… I don’t know. I don’t know why it took almost fucking dying from those goddamn things, a— and seeing what happened to all of them...”

“I don’t know,” he repeated, leaning back against the foot of the sofa. “All the shit that happened, all of them dying — I don’t know how long it’ll take until we’re okay again. Hell, I don’t even know if we ever will be okay again. What happened up there was fucked up in the worst way, and the fact that no one believes us makes it a hell of a lot worse.”

You chuckled darkly as you cupped one hand in the other. “You can say that again.”

His lips twitched for a moment as if he wanted to smile but ultimately thought better of it. “I know we aren’t that close anymore, but the truth is we’re the only ones on this fuckin’ planet that know what really happened up there. We’re the only ones that will ever really understand what happened to us, and… and I think we’re the only ones that can really help each other through this shit.”

He met your eyes once more, something resolute in them. “So the next time this happens, because it will, if you don’t want to be alone… you can come here. Any time, any day, no questions asked. Just knock on that door, and I will be there. No more isolation, no more trying to get through this on our own. We gotta be there for each other, because we’re all we have.”

You nodded gratefully, a feeling of warmth slowly creeping through your body with his reassurance. “Thank you, Mike. You… you have no idea what this means to me.”

“I think I have some clue,” he murmured.

As you exchanged weary smiles, you saw a faint twinkle in Mike’s eyes. He was always the kind of person to help others, even if it was for the wrong reasons, and that was one thing that stuck with him after the disaster. And in that moment, a long lost feeling washed over you — safety.

You hadn’t felt safe in… well, it seemed like forever. Adrenaline and pure instinct were responsible for getting you through those twelve hours, along with an overwhelming wave of numbness and denial. But once all of that wore off, the nightmares had begun. Your friends, the Wendigos, the mountain itself — anything and everything that your mind could use against you, it did.

It was a living hell. You could hardly ever sleep anymore, horrific images always jolting you awake after an hour or two and keeping you awake for the rest of the day. It was no wonder Mike had ended up with a drinking problem — it was probably the only way he could sleep, the only way he could bring some form of peace to his mind. By some miracle, you had avoided that fate, but… you would be lying if you said you hadn’t come close.

But somehow, for some reason, you could tell that things were going to be different. Now that you and Mike weren’t avoiding each other anymore in the name of painful memories… you felt like things were going to be okay. Or as close to okay as you could get these days.

You weren’t alone, and neither was he.

He had saved your life on the mountain more than once. Now, he was saving you again. Just in a different way.

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

ud tags: @kwyloz

#mike munroe #mike munroe x reader #mike x reader #until dawn x reader #until dawn #until dawn fic #mike until dawn #sadie writes #i always get so insecure when i post things that arent for atla #then i remember that. this is my blog and i can write what i want #lol

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obae-me · 3 years

Note

Lucifer: Just exists

Me: Sir would u like some sleep? Perhaps a full 9 hours? A nap?

Okay, so my requests are still closed (I have some I haven’t finished yet but we don’t talk about those, my brain is broken give me time) but something about this just gave me the overwhelming urge to write some sleepy Lucifer…so I’m going to do that. (Plus I need to get back into the writing groove before I tackle my bigger projects)

_______________________

Meeting after meeting, report after report. Demons could go days without sleeping and come out with little more than a headache, but still, it had been a week straight of Lucifer’s non-stop work, so you were bound to feel some concern. Well, ‘some’ was an understatement. In fact, you were losing precious hours of your own sleep just by worrying about him. None of your fretting did anything about it either, he was too prideful for that. Regardless of the ever blackening circles under his eyes, the rapidly diminishing bags of coffee beans, or his simple mistakes he’d usually never make, he acted as if he was the pinnacle of health.

There was bound to be an end to it eventually, there always was.

Lucifer’s insomnia had infected you, and during the early reaches of this particular morning, unable to sleep, you decided to check on the eldest. It was wishful thinking to hope you could find him in his room. Alas, it was empty, practically gathering dust, he might as well take up permanent residency in his office by now. So, you padded down quietly to his office.

The entrance was wide open, the soft somber melody of a record drifting through the library. You knew well and good that he had pushed himself too far, his own body taking the consent of sleep from him. However, if anything, the moments like these were the ones that made you fall for him even harder. The way his body released the tension of stress as he slept. The way those gentle sighs of his somehow played in a symphony all their own. The way his chest didn’t puff out with pride like normal but instead rose in the softest way as he finally took a moment to breathe deeply.

Stifling a chuckle, you tiptoed over to him, tilting your head to observe his face in peace. Cheek against a half-written report, one of his arms was bent across his eyes, his fade nestled in the crook of his elbow to block out the light, his lips ever so slightly parted. A pen was still lodged between his middle and pointer finger, the end of it tangled in his hair. You would be tempted to just stand and watch him for a while longer, but you’d much rather see him to bed.

“Luce...Luci...” He stirred, shifting slightly, turning the other way, the paper still stuck to his cheek, eliciting a small vocal chuckle from you. You snapped a quick picture for your private collection and then reached out to him. One hand settling over his own, the other landing between his shoulder blades, you embraced him, speaking up a bit louder. “My darling Morningstar?”

Reflexively, he turned his wrist and gripped your hand, a bit too tightly until he realized it was you. He interlaced his fingers between yours and pushed himself up from his desk by his elbows. You hummed to yourself in amusement, grasping the paper stuck to his face and placing it amongst his other reports. He took a waking breath into his nose and blinked slow and unevenly. “What time is it?”

You wrapped your arm around his shoulders, hugging him from the side. “Time for you to head to bed.” He opened his mouth to spout some nonsense about work needing to be done, but you stopped him with a kiss to his cheek. “Bed. Your pact-master commands you.”

“Hm? You tease but you really could order me if you wanted to.”

Reaching up, you caressed the side of his face, feeling him tilt into your touch. “Why would I do that when it’s so much more satisfying when you follow me of your own volition?” You traced your finger down and traced his bottom lip. He looked up, his cheeks slightly pink, his eyebrows slightly raised as he looked at you in comfortable wonder. You lowered your head to meet his lips, but you pulled away at the last second, squishing his cheeks. “But I won’t force you.” You dropped his hand and turned, listening to his sharp intake at your taunting. Before you could take another step, his arms were already wrapped around your torso.

“I’m coming, you demon.”

“Oh yes, I’m the evil one for making sure you get some rest.” You rolled your eyes but took his arm in yours as you left his study.

“You are indeed,” he laughed, his tone still groggy from his nap. You kept a steady hold on him as he worked on keeping his week legs straight. He’d pushed himself far too long this time, his limbs were crying out for rest. He’d have to take the extra brutal punishment of sleeping in tomorrow- well, today. Back inside his room, you guided him beside the bed, folding back his sheets and sliding in first yourself. They had soaked up the chill cold of the night, and so you shivered. He kicked off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it at the end of the bed, and you faked a gasp.

“How uncouth!”

Shirtless and still in his work slacks, he crawled in under his sheets, pushing you down against the pillow, a smile on his face. “Don’t start with me.” The playful mood quickly ebbed as he rubbed your noses together before planting a kiss over your lips, obviously desperate for it ever since you had denied him in his study. “Come now.” He laid flat against the mattress, pulling you over and tucking you under his arm with your head against his chest. Even if you hadn’t been so close there was no denying the large content sigh.

“See?” You asked, pulling the covers up tighter against you both. “Isn’t this better than a dreary old desk?” Only, there was no response. In regular Belphie fashion, Lucifer must’ve fallen asleep right as his head hit the pillow. You snuggled tighter against him, careful not to move him too much, although you figured it would be rather difficult to get him to rouse again tonight. Closing your eyes, you whispered to him, hoping he’d hear the message in his dreams. “Goodnight, love.”

#asks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines

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motleyfam · 1 year

Text

I posted 2,267 times in 2022

36 posts created (2%)

2,231 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@desperatecheesecubes

@mooitstimdrake

@batshit-birds

@sohotthateveryonedied

@sun-moon-stars-jedi

I tagged 454 of my posts in 2022

#the batman - 25 posts

#fave - 18 posts

#batfam - 9 posts

#atla - 9 posts

#bruce wayne - 8 posts

#dick grayson - 7 posts

#damian wayne - 6 posts

#this sparks joy - 6 posts

#amen - 6 posts

#tim drake - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#thinking of that ‘superman wrecking a whole ass train to save a child on the tracks who he could have just swooped away from danger’ post

My Top Posts in 2022:

hey! so its 4am and ive just finished my, um... fifth(?) reread of world's saddest breakfast club and like! aaahhhh!!!

do u got abything to tell us abt this story? like sbt the writing proccess or things u thought that did not make it in or hc or anything really. i dont have a question exactly, just wanted to hear you talk about it. im a bit. well. obssesed.

Oooh cool question! I definitely do!

World's Saddest Breakfast Club: Fun Facts

The opening line is a result of me angsting to @batmoniker about how I couldn't figure out how to start my fic, and her jokingly being like "I got you, bro. Ready? 'It was a dark and stormy night'" and then me just being stubborn and committing to the bit.

The story started with a vague idea of "everyone in the kitchen at 3am for different reasons and Jason channeling his inner short order cook." All I knew going in was the order I wanted people to appear, what was wrong with them (sick, hurt, insomnia, etc) and what food Jason would be making for them. Everything else I made up as I went.

If I could go back and change one thing about this fic, I'd reduce how long Jason was kidnapped to like, 6-8 days, max. 16 days seemed funny when I wrote it, but in hindsight, I feel like he'd be a little more fucked up in the story if he were really escaping from that many days of captivity lmao

I headcanon Dick as the kind of person who straight-up forgets to eat when he's preoccupied, and Jason as the kind of person who cannot FATHOM this concept. Jason absolutely will miss a meal if the situation calls for it, don't get me wrong, but he's aware the entire time he's doing it and it makes him super antsy. (This once turned into A Thing™ when Jason was like, 13 years old and staying with Dick for the weekend for some brotherly bonding and Dick forgot about lunch and by 5pm, Jason maybe sorta kinda had a minor panic attack about it. Dick was a lot more mindful of that moving forward)

Bruce's favorite food being lobster thermidor is a reference to the Lego Batman movie

I wrote this whole fic with Julia Child's recipe pulled up in one tab and my google doc in the other

At some point I realized that since I started with fresh lobsters, I was going to have to write Jason killing them, and it derailed me so hard that the fic nearly became about meatloaf instead. (Never mind the fact that Jason canonically kills human beings — that's totally fine. I just draw the line at him killing lobsters 😰)

(in the end I just kinda glossed over it and made sure they were already cooked before Damian appeared so I wouldn't have to address it 😬)

Dick's reoccurring shoulder injury is a reference to the DCAU where I swear that man has dislocated his shoulder/injured his arm at least 4x

The line about Tim being allergic/throwing up when he eats eggs was inspired by a line in chap 11 of @goldkirk's fic Hymn, which I've reread about 37x

Jason is correct— grits are fucking delicious and definitely not baby food.

My favorite line is "Okay there’s self-sacrificial bullshit, and then there’s whatever the fresh hell that is."

The idea for Cass being a big meat-eater comes from a comic panel where Steph offers her a plate of rice and beans and Cass says needs meat and starts mischievously eying Steph's hamster. Can't find the panel to save my life, but I promise it's out there.

EDIT: finally found it!

Steph's nickname of "Zombie Boy" for Jason is borrowed from @audreycritter's Cor Et Cerebrum series (which is a fucking masterpiece, btw)

This fic was gonna be called "Creatures of the Night" until batmoniker said Steph's line made for a better title

Several people have asked me whether Jason was really cooking Bruce's lobster to spite him, or if he was actually intending to make it for him all along. The answer is... both? Like Jason's kind of an unreliable narrator in that he's trying to convince himself that he's just doing what he's doing to be a little shithead when deep down it's all stemming from his need to take care of his family, you know? Like he'll never admit it, but that's where his heart is at.

To everyone who's asked for a part 2 where the family finds out Jason was kidnapped, I'm gonna be honest: the main reason I don't think I'm ever going to write that scene is because I can't come up with a good enough joke for him to make to accidentally out himself ☠️

90 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

Imagine Bruce starting therapy and learning about all these cool new tricks and gadgets that can help with emotional regulation and getting super invested (because I mean, c’mon, the dude’s like the king of gadget hoarding, he’s got a utility belt for goodness sake)

Then imagine the learning curve of him realizing that just because something works great for one of his kids, doesn’t mean it works for all of them, as illustrated by this memorable incident:

Jason gets really upset and starts having a minor panic attack about something

Bruce, proud owner of 14 new weighted blankets (in various styles, weights, and sizes), tries to wrap his adult son up in one to ground him

After all, Bruce himself finds them super comforting because it’s basically a socially acceptable alternative to wearing a massive Kevlar cape 24/7 like he’d do if he could

(Tim loves them too, so like, kid tested, parent approved™️)

Ends up totally backfiring when the added weight & restricted movement sends Jason into a full-blown flashback of digging out of his own grave, taking this panic attack from like a 4 to a 10

Whoops

130 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

Sometimes I get really hung up on trying to make all the logistics and time frame work out in my fanfics

Then I see how the professionals handle this dilemma:

211 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

I have a headcanon that Dick doesn’t actually like cereal nearly as much as he pretends to.

He just knew that Bruce felt bad about his own cooking ineptitude in the early days after taking his new ward in, so whenever Alfred had the night off, the 9-year-old insisted cereal was his ‘favorite food on the planet’ because it was something that Bruce could actually handle preparing for him without setting off the smoke alarms and it made him happy to do it

372 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Tim hardly ever wears seatbelts.

It’s not a conscious choice at this point really, he just never got into the habit. When he outgrew his last car seat at age five, his parents didn’t bother getting him a booster and just let him sit in the normal seat, so the belt always felt like it was cutting into his neck and he hated it. He put up a big fuss about it once on the way to some important event, and his parents just huffed, “Fine, don’t wear it then. Fly out the window for all I care” and that was that. They never forced him again.

He just so rarely has to wear one that it slips his mind. Buses don’t have seatbelts. Motorcycles don’t have seatbelts. The Batmobile has them, but they’re rarely used due to the necessity for split-second drop ins and getaways.

It’s not until he’s 17 and driving with Jason somewhere that he finally gets called out on it. Not only called out, but told in a no nonsense sort of way “This car ain’t moving till I hear a fucking click. What, did they stop showing ‘Red Asphalt’ in drivers ed while I was dead??”

(They do still show it. Tim just slept through that class)

557 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Okay apparently I need to work on my tagging skills lmao

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saradesuchiha · 2 years

Text

hi it's des ü

ig i need to share this to u guys...

i've been experiencing pain in my right forearm more than 2 weeks. i continued working on loads, commissions, and atleast doodle once a day while enduring the strain. i have a tendency of overworking and completely overdoing things and not stopping bc i don't like being idle while i know i have queued work. i thought the pain will soon go away if i take it easy during my days off like i used to do, but it didn't. the pain became intolerable and i hardly can't lift or move my arm anymore.

last tuesday, i had it checked and was diagnosed w lateral epicondylitis; it's a condition that causes microtears to the elbow tendon due to overuse. the doctor said it will take abt 6-8 weeks to heal, if the pain prolonged, then i will have to consider taking shots and it will take almost half a year or so to recover. he also advised me to rest and atleast 2 weeks off strenuous activities and other miscellaneous tasks, take prescribed pain relievers and attend scheduled physical therapy. when i feel better, i can return doing my normal routine slowly.

my mom and i had an argument as we head home. she told me to just quit my job and she's been very vocal abt it eversince i took the offer. i work from home for 10hrs for four straight days, night 'til morning + i take side jobs or make art commissions to earn extra during my days off. i'm comfortable w this setup bc i don't have to go to the office and has less financial stress. i'm the breadwinner in my family, so i have to work hard and earn more than enough, else, my family and i will not have anything to fill our plates and pay the bills. but my work and lifestyle are affecting my health. i have chronic stress, insomnia, and now, tennis elbow pain.

i understand her concerns are for my well-being, but i love and want this job and i don't want to quit. i stayed in my room and cried myself the whole day and can't focus on anything. i realized how greatly affected my life is bc of one injury. i'm afraid of losing my predominant arm and its a vital part on my skills. i'm more afraid of what will happen to my family if i'm dysfunctional for weeks or if i completely quit my job. i have no one to blame other than myself.

i'm just relieved it's nothing worse, but it will take few weeks to feel better. i'm still absorbing and trying to process everything in my mind. i already got things sorted out quickly at my work and they're very understanding abt the situation. atleast what i can do for now is try to ease my mind, be patient, and not force myself to work if i'm in pain, else i'm going to suffer more.

sorry if this post is quite sad. i have this weighing on my chest and i just want to take it out. i want to tell u guys too and not worry if i'm inactive. ig i'll try to come back after first 2 weeks of recovery period and not over do it. i'm not going to make full art for a while but i'll still doodle every now and then. i still have pending entries for march fan events and other related fanarts in my drafts. it feels frustrating that can't finish them on time for each event. but i'm still going to post them even they are beyond late once i finish them.

i hope u guys are all doing well, always safe and take good care of urselves. thank u for taking time reading this. see u guys soon~ 🌤️

#des ü sabaw thoughts

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angelicmichael · 3 years

Note

my mind forgets to remind me - you're a bad idea w andy 😳👉👈

A/N: Thank u sm for sending this!! You had no idea how happy this made me to write :’) I’m sorry it took me a min tho lmao. The prompt is from Eva’s taylor swift prompt list 😌, but also - I tried to make this fluffy but there is some angst 🤐 actually a lot of angst.. I’m so sorry djdjd. The dynamic /overall relationship is very much like my other Andy fic ngl.. which I wanted to point out haha. This is also probably the most unedited thing ive ever uploaded so plz dont judge my writing too harshly 😭 Otherwise enjoy! <3

Warnings: kinda slow burn?, pining, angstt, Hedwig slander, brief conflict, some fluff hehe, friends to lovers, jealous! reader

You heard the rumors.

Andy Dolan was with Hedwig.

To be completely honest; even without the rumors it was painfully obvious how much truth those words had behind them.. You saw how they acted together. How Andy’s eyes, which were normally filled with torment, finally got some light to them whenever he looked at her; how he was so careful to never disagree with a single fucking word she said or demand she made.. happy to oblige as long as it meant she was his and wouldn’t leave him.

It made you sick.

You hated the kind of person Andy Dolan was making you become.. Seeing your best friend with someone like Hedwig, so selfish and narrow minded made you beyond pissed. But regardless; anger wasn’t the main emotion that you felt when you were with Andy. That was only a result of seeing him with someone else.. someone who wasn’t you.

Trying to deny your feelings was redundant but so was the obvious truth; that he was with Hedwig.

It was something that even though you were nearly positive was certain, you were terrified to confront him over. You were scared that you would finally be the one he would take his anger out on.. He would finally get tired of seeing you and entertaining your prescience when he had no real reason too.

After all; you knew why he commonly enjoyed the presence of Women.. and now that he was taken, you weren’t needed.

Simple as that.

Or that’s what you feared, anyway. That wasn’t actually reality.

Andy Dolan (to your surprise) invited you over for the night.. something that you really thought nothing of until you saw him.

He looked serious; something that was not uncharacteristic of him but it still kept you on edge. Perhaps because you were waiting for him to speak.. wanting desperately to know why Andy had chosen to call you and not Hedwig.

“I’m sorry for calling you over so late,” He started.

He avoided eye contact.. pacing around his room as he stood over currently one of his nightstands.. you sat on his bed - paranoia still clouding your fair judgement.

“It’s okay,” you said.. even though it really wasn’t.

You wanted him to turn around. To make eye contact with you and to tell you directly why exactly he had chosen to call you over, because that reason was starting to become painfully obvious.

“I just couldn’t sleep,” He turned around, his gaze slowly averting from the floor to meet yours. You struggled to see whether he was actually looking at you or not since the lights were off - leaving the two of you in a completely dark room.

You stayed silent for a moment - quietly calculating what you wanted to say next and how you wanted to say it.

Was it insomnia that kept him up?? Nightmares?? And why wasn’t he calling Hedwig or some other girl to help him with this issue?

Why you?

Why now?

“Andy.. since when did you ever have insomnia?” You confronted him carefully.

His eyes, which finally started to come into focus, peered up at you almost in a guilty manner.. as if you had caught him straight in a lie.

You were scared of being too direct at first. Scared that you would set him off and he would ‘force’ you to leave and that would be that.. Because even though being next to Andy was torture; being next to him like this.. in the dark, late at night with no one else around where you two could just talk.. was all that you ever wanted, as corny as it kinda sounded.

“You think I’m lying?” He bit back.

“I never said that, I just.. I don’t know why you would choose to call me instead of someone else-“

“I can’t call Hedwig for everything, (y/n). She only likes to stick around when she’s getting paid,” He says with a snort.

You bit your lip when you heard him say her name.. ‘Hedwig’. He knew exactly what you were getting at.

Fuck.

You wanted to apologize for being irrational and for jumping to conclusions but you didn’t. Apologizing felt wrong in this situation.. this wasn’t about you.

“How did you know I meant Hedwig?” You inquired wholeheartedly.

You could now make out the entire dim outline of his body as he continued to stand by his nightstand, watching you for any sudden movements or - really movement at all.

It was completely unbeknownst to you but Andy felt terrified.

Anxiety was never a feeling he was ever completely unaccustomed too; the constant burden and paranoia of everyone he ever remotely liked leaving him was a reality he had to face more than twice.. perhaps even more now if he actually followed through on his plans tonight, with you.

The paralyzing fear he felt that only grew stronger with every step he took closer to you was nearly too much.. it threatened to consume him - nearly bringing tears to his eyes just at the mere thought of you leaving and rejecting him.

He never felt more fucking ridiculous and dramatic in his life.

“Why do you care so much about Hedwig? I sure don’t, She never gave a fuck about me.. not really. After all - there’s a reason I chose to call you.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s your reason?” You challenged.

You expected for him to recite some bullshit he didn’t really mean. Something to make the two of you feel a bit better about the current predicament you were in but, his next words were sweeter and softer than anything you were willing to anticipate.

Your breath caught in your throat as he slowly approached you. He was realistically only a few steps away but every step he took seemed to take a eternity.. like he couldn’t possibly get to you soon enough while simultaneously being too far away.

His steps continued until his feet bumped into yours - his sock covered feet accidentally bumping into your shoes.

Suddenly confused at the sudden accident.. you tilted your head up unexpectedly, before catching his gaze only briefly before you did the unthinkable.. pressing your lips to his in something that was just short of a rational decision.

You waited at first for him to pull away - scared to let yourself become fully swept away by the moment but.. it happened anyway.

Andy’s hands quickly touched your back as his lips started to move slowly and sweetly against yours. Seemingly savoring every moment he now had with you; one that perhaps he thought too, would never get a chance to experience.

You pulled away just before you felt him try to deepen the kiss even further. Only to take a deep, steady breath before leaning in once more. Not letting your brain necessarily control your movements anymore but rather letting your heart take over instead.

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#Andy x reader #Andy Dolan x reader #andy dolan fanfiction #Andy Dolan #cody fern fanfiction #asks #sojournmichael #my fic #reading this back is so funny bc I tried so hard to make this fluffy but-#it’s basically full angst 😭 sorry lmao #but I hope you like this Eva 🥺👉🏻👈🏻#sorry again it’s so late lol #will crosspost to ao3 in the near future lol

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