YOUR MALLEUS POST IS JUST!!!!! AGDKFFLSVFL!!!! WHO KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES I RE-READ THAT THING BUT IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!!!! 😫😭👌🖤💚
I'm so late to this but thank you so much Knight!! 🖤💚🖤💚 I'm so happy you enjoyed Blindfolded Malleus... I was so excited for you to read it, and I'm very happy it lived up to the hype and anticipation!!! Truly, I am so honored and grateful that you would re-read something so long 🥹 it amazes me how supportive you are!! I hope I can continue to write things that you enjoy! One day in the [regretfully] far future I swear to you that I will put out an Idia fic just for you hehehe. I'm so overwhelmed by the amount of things I am excited to write, but I guess that is a wonderful problem to have! I only wish I had more time in the day to write, but alas, such is life. Why the fUCk am I writing so formal right now daiohssadoi;hdSAO not me saying BUT ALAS. SUCH IS LIFE????? It is so.
I'm actually taking a TWELVE DAY vacation from work starting on the 22nd so I might actually do a little request event where people can send me like kink prompts or something. I think that'll be fun!
Okay and FINE I'll do some fluff prompts too for the fluff people but please don't judge my fluff too harshly, I'm still learning!!! For some reason smut just comes naturally dhaDSAHIDDASijdsan I'll start gathering some prompts and we will do a little ask game or something.
📣 By the way FELLOW HONEST THIGH RIDING ANON if you SEE this first of all, ONCE AGAIN: I wish to express my undying devotion to you and your exceptional thought process. I am positively frothing at the mouth over your request and I am PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE I am finally making good progress and it WILL be out soon. We WILL make him cum in his pants. We WILL make him cry, whimper, and moan.
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The Port Mafia get wind of this one guy online antagonizing a bunch of Chuuya’s fans and claiming that Chuuya is his and come to the conclusion that Chuuya has an obsessed fan stalker. They approach the ADA to have them investigate
OH NOOO How will Dazai prevent his coworkers from finding out? (They already know)
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i'm never knowingly going to reblog a post that includes the phrase 'touch grass,' and that's not because i don't think it can be psychologically beneficial to get in some outdoor time if possible—i went for a walk earlier! it was great!—or to take a break from conversations that are getting you wound up, but because i think that particular wording generally reveals two things:
first, that the writer is speaking not from a place of genuine concern and sympathy, but from judgmental impatience à la 'get therapy,' which—i too have felt judgmental and impatient in my time, god knows! but when i feel that way i try to go unpack those feelings in private with a thoughtful friend, instead of pretending they constitute a source of wisdom or a helpful sort of energy to direct at people, you know? and i'm definitely not particularly interested in boosting a ventpost from someone else—who pretty clearly hasn't bothered to take the breather they're urging on others, if they're making little digs like that—as if it were actually sincere, carefully-reasoned advice.
and second, that the writer's argument embraces some seriously sloppy assumptions, which pretty immediately undermines my trust in the rest of their analysis—i mean, there's absolutely no guarantee someone's local scene will be any less parochial, just because it's playing out irl! there's also not actually a clean divide between 'people who spend time in the Real World' and 'people who spend time on the internet, which is for porn losers,' as demonstrated by a number of phenomena including, again, the aforementioned grass-recommenders' own presence right here on tumblr…
anyway. obviously we all have our own particular lines we draw around particular rhetoric that bugs us! these are just some reasons why that particular phrasing bugs me.
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WARNING FOR LONG POST THAT WON'T GO UNDER A BREAK. FLICK IT UP OR SCROLL PAST IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ A MESSY FUCKING RANT ABOUT FANDOM BEHAVIOUR, ABUSE, TRANSPHOBIA, ANTI RADICAL FEMINISM AND MORE SHIT. THIS IS NOT COHERENT.
I have two hangster fanfics started but I don't feel like finishing them especially because I just keep writing and writing and making them longer and longer and like if I ever finish either of them I won't even leave the comments open if i post them and I probably would post but yeah the last piece of shit i wrote was met with nothing but insults and animosity so im like still very angry about that. like the least horrible of the THREE assholes who decided that insulting me was something they had the right to do instead of just saying 'your tags are wrong, fix them' tried to go on about oh you leave comments open so you're open to criticism uwu and girl criticism is basically tearing someone to shreds so if i don't want your damn critiques what makes you think that I want to be insulted? where did i say that i had a degradation kink? so yeah, i have a very bad impression of this fanbase. it seems very clique-y to me and it's funny because it's a minuscule fanbase no matter what this user tried to say I'm not stupid and making a single fanfic a series to crank up the number of fics isn't as sleek as yall think it is. like you can do it i'm not judging but don't tell me 'um akshully this is a super popular shipppp' like yeah within a fandom with maybe 1000 active users maybe lol and I'm just in a I want to fucking speak up about EVERYTHING mood and I'm tired of always being shut down, lectured, insulted, and treated like shit and expected to just be 'the bigger person' motherfucker no. i am 166cm tall that's 5'6'' or some shit I don't know american, that's not very big is my point so i won't be the bigger person and ignore and delete and blah blah. WRITING IS MY HOBBY AND WHEN YOU COME FOR IT, FOR THE THING THAT HAS KEPT ME MILDLY SANE SINCE I WAS FUCKING 7, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. no, i don't care that i write like shit. it's free. i do it for free because i like to do it. it's the only way i can express myself and even there i get shut down and mocked because im mediocre in everything i fucking do, thanks for the reminder, it's not like my abuser didn't remind me of that for well over 20 years lol /sarcasm/ if you don't like someone's shitty writing, you have the option to click the fuck back and not being a massive piece of entitled shit. i don't know what's wrong with this fanbase honestly i have gotten hate before but never this fast and never to this scale on a stupid fucking fanfic that was very fucking clear for anyone who had taken the time to read it before telling an abuse survivor what abuse is and absolutely getting it fucking wrong lol i am proficient in 7 languages, and my preferred writing style is simple because i understand the value of being understood for more than one reason.
why do people think it's acceptable to be cunts to strangers online? if you wouldn't say the shit you say to people online to people in real life, THEN DON'T FUCKING SAY IT. and yes, i would say all of this here in real life and that is why I am typing it down. i'm literally a chronically depressed dysphoric motherfucker with generalised anxiety, cptsd and semi-functional autism, you think i wouldn't lash the fuck out in real life? you're wrong. i'm actually much worse in real life. i'm the sweetest fucking pie if you respect me but if you treat me like shit expect to get the dressing down of your fucking life or punched in the nose because sometimes i become non-verbal when angry and that's bad because i am reactive to abuse. and online that translates to not shutting up, in real life it translates to violence. but the thing is that in real life people are aware of dos and don'ts. online people just become their fucking regina george wet dream of a school bully.
and i've had fucking enough of being treated like shit. i've had enough of people thinking that being a cunt is cool or edgy. i've had fucking enough of the yes queen slay culture that sees women displaying disgusting, abusive behaviour and applauds it as something good. because 'socking it to the men'. i hate radical feminists for this reason and it's funny that their fascist ideology is spreading like a disease and nobody seems to notice, especially because the pipeline from radical feminist to trans exclusionary radical feminist is an archway not a pipeline. before you know it, you'll see trans masculine people and trans men as 'traitors' and 'wanting male privilege' and 'still women deep down' and 'still has a vagina so she's a woman'. and i'm not pulling this out of my ass, i watched this happening in real time more than once. god i'm so fucking angry i'm just vomiting all the shit that's been pissing me off for months. and i'm talking about this because this shit is so prevalent and commonplace that i, who have been sure that I want to go through with fully transitioning, have been reconsidering because of the insidious hateful comments from terfs/radfems and casual sympathisers with the ideology of those people and the dysphoria i've been feeling has been making me want to wear an actual literal mask outside and carry a fucking fake sword in a scabbard so that nobody will approach me. i have isolation tendencies that are very strong and have been with me since i can remember and i can remember as far back as 4 years old. and then i have to see these fuckers try to find 'articles' to support their hatred and bigotry when they are the literal reason why we fucking kill ourselves and just put up with feeling miserable and don't transition. i don't want to be even more ostracised and treated like shit. i don't want to be even more treated like i'm holding an unpinned grenade just because i don't want to put up with people who insult me and make me feel bad and react to that and fight back. i don't have self-esteem, i fucking hate myself, i feel like ripping my body to shreds every damn day and then i have to work from home the shitty jobs i can do that barely pay for my meds and definitely don't pay for therapy because being around people and too much stimuli makes me shutdown like to the point where i can't speak. So you see the issue maybe idfk that I come online to unwind and write shit as a hobby and mind my damn business and take the time to say look I have these issues and people see that list as 'oh look an easy target for my being a cunt wet dreams because this one will react and I'll seem like a saint! UWU'
and why did this have to involve this ship from top gun? well, because i liked the ship, i wanted to write for it, because writing is my hobby, and what i got was abuse lol and then gaslit into thinking it wasn't abuse and that i had to accept being called names lol 'oh there are no victims uwu i will concede that insulting you was not very nice uwu' but i didn't get a single fucking apology i had to apologise because i was triggered since i couldn't actually do anything and im always ALWAYS on my own even if i cry for help, it never comes, no matter what's fucking happening. even friends just say oh well i didn't see that so oopsie daisy sorry you felt bad and nobody defended you as as been the norm your entire life' like i'm just fucking TIRED. i'm tired of never being good enough. im tired of my friends never having my back. i'm tired of only being told oh actually you weren't wrong when it's already over and i'm already feeling like shit mentally and can't cope with the ruminating feelings of being perpetually misunderstood, mediocre, and alone. 'oh having to stand up for yourself makes you stronger uwu' fuck you a million fucking times. no it doesn't. it makes you paranoid, it makes you isolate, it makes it hard for you to maintain friendships, it makes you a loner, it makes you depressed because you're not supposed to be alone because humans are social animals. and i guess that's the bottom line lol i feel utterly and completely fucking alone. the only person i regularly see and talk to is my brother who also has cptsd and is autistic like me lol obviously we grew up in the same shitty environment and these things tend to be hereditary so yeah i have to mask even with him because he's almost 11 years younger than me and is going through that early 20s phase of your life where you're just lost and don't know what you want and feel bad and as the older sibling i feel that it's my duty to try and pretend not to feel as bad as i do but it's getting harder and harder and im not putting this under a read more break. happy fucking mental health awareness day. enjoy your nothingburger posters and yellow pins of performativity.
rant over.
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Just sayin, if teachers stopped taking the side of the aggressor, schools wouldn't be so hostile. If they stopped enabling aggressors, it wouldn't be so hostile, when kids aren't pushed up against a wall and ya'll didn't help push them further up, schools wouldn't be as aggressive.
It's real easy too, you see, when a kid says another kid is bullying them, you do something? Not put them in the same room to talk, like a fucking absolute baffoon, not tell the victim to get over it, not take the side of the aggressor.
Because that's when all options were exhausted. And you. You enabled this. When students do all they can with their limited resources and you throw them back to the sharks, they Will Defend Themselves while you aided in their assault.
Don't deny it gives you a boner to see kids suffer, I know how you enablers think. Why else take such a shit paying job if not to torture kids? Don't answer that, the alternative is far, far worse.
Schools should be held accountable for shit like this. Forced to make a paper trail, and when they punish the victim, the victim can go to court and show the receipts. No fucking reason to aid in assaulting bullied kids. Absolutely none.
Schools Need To Stop Enabling Violence.
That's all they do. That's how they're set up. That's their purpose. Until they fix themselves, schools are, literally, combat zones. And, literally, schools enabled it worse than any politician, loooong before any modern political discourse.
Better education, higher pay, and no lunch debt is one thing, but the enviroment of school is Active Combat. Teachers put kids up to assault and harrass other kids all the time out of seemingly boredom.
That is a decision they have made loooong before shootings were so frequent. Can't blame them for that, but you can blame them for the enviroment being so open and casual to such.
To ever make it a last resort, to ever Make It To A Last Resort.
Like instead of teaching kids empathy, being there for them in times of crisis, teachers really pushed kids to be even more aggressive. It's sickening we don't put any blame on all aggressors involved because of a fuckin' title. Blame teachers and school for being bully enablers.
Honestly, wouldn't surprise me if Kidz4Kash was still around to "collect troubled youth" the school system forced them into. Mine tried before the scandal was exposed. School is just not remotely safe. Hard to say School as a concept will ever work given the people that work it.
Seriously don't put your kids in public school. It was worth it for communication skills, but life long problems come either way, I'd rather a sheltered moron than a combative experienced child turned adult too soon, or dead, more than likely dead, probably suicide or shooting. Either way, schools enable it.
Just saying, school has more issues than money. It's the people. Blame Schools. If they wanted to be better, they'd have tried. If they wanted teacher pay better, they'd have tried, if they wanted school shootings to stop...
They'd be better people. Not working that job. Because no Chef works Mcdonalds, just teenagers and crackheads. Raising pay will help, but you Have To Fire the Aggressors for it to even matter. Otherwise you reward the systems in place that have caused such aggressions to rise.
Schools need to fix themselves, fire aggressors, stand up for victims, be held accountable when they actively choose to fail, and then, only then, raise pay.
As of now? Pffft. Ya'll fuckers putting kids in jail, therapy, or the grave. Only one of those is socially acceptable. Fuck off.
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