#still have no desire to catch up tho lol

[mysicklove]

𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋

DAY 12: SOUNDING

With: Keigo Takami (Hawks)

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Sub! Hawks, gn! reader, sounding, HEAVY sub/dom spaces, hints of sado/masochism, mentions of anal fingering, keigo crying and twitching, cursing, pee/urine mentioned throughout

A/N: This is one of those smut fics that are heavily unrealistic (which i LOVEEEE), keigo says some cringe things at some points tho. LOL

Keigo has such a pretty face. People stop and stare at him on the street, he has been recruited by multiple modeling companies and is lusted over by teenage girls all over the world. Born to be nicknamed, “Pretty Boy”. It was cute, really, and he seemed to love the name.

But to you, he doesn't look his best when he is photographed in lewd poses, or when the media catches the way he looks at you, or even with his candid hero photos that are unbearably hot.

No, to you, Keigo looks his absolute best when he cried. Of course, not from sadness, from pleasure and pain. When his face is flushed, his eyes are hazy, and tears coat his cheeks. When he looks up at you in pure adoration, and trembles under your hold.

But that was the sadistic side of you talking. The side of you who wants to completely ruin the man. It's hard not to when he looks so pretty during it.

So, slowly you've been finding new ways to wreck him and with each one, he reacts perfectly. You've gotten addicted to it. Him, really.

Tonight you are going to try sounding. You stare at the small metal rod, and then back to your lover, who is leaning against the headboard, and trying to act like he is not completely terrified. He gulps when you peer at him, straightening his back, and trying to uphold his cocky grin.

“You're scared, aren't ya?”

He scoffs, looking away. “No. I'm the one who asked for this, why would I be scared?”

As much as you like ruining Keigo, Keigo loves being ruined. You have to keep a close eye on him because he swears he has no limits and has not used his safeword so far. Everything is on the table for him, and that sometimes worries you. You've held down your desires but he voices them and is the one to beg you for more and more.

Urethra play was not something he has tried. “Mhmm. It will be fine, we will go slow,” You reassure him despite his words. You place a comforting hand on his thigh and he sighs, smiling at you softly.

“Yeah. It'll be fine. You're right.”

Horrifying is the best word to describe what's in front of him right now. The “thin” rod is now lodged halfway into his urethra and he's panting out, thighs trembling. It doesn't exactly feel bad, but it's foreign, and the sight in front of him makes him uneasy. Nothing is supposed to go in that hole.

He's gripping onto your hand for comfort, eyes wide as saucers. “We aren't even all the way in yet, Keigo.”

He whines out at the words, resting his head on your shoulder. Sweat beads at his forehead and his face is flushed. “F-Feels so full.”

You teasingly tap on the rod, and his back arches, wings fluttering out at the strange feeling. He grips your hand and stares at you, silently pleading. “Sorry. Forgot. Let's put it all in, yeah?”

“Dont–Dont know if I can.”

You stroke the bottom of his shaft and smile at him. “Got plenty of room still. It's supposed to touch your prostate, y'know.”

Yeah, he definitely knew that. For the last couple of days, he researched the ins and outs of this. But still, he doesn't know how the hell it could go any deeper. He feels overwhelmingly stuffed even from half of it being inserted. He gulps and glances at you, but nods.

“Take a deep breath for me, Keigo. Promise it'll feel good in a bit.” You're right, and he knows it. Just like when you fingered him for the first time, it feels weird in the beginning, but now he's addicted to it. This could be a new thing to drive him mad. He sure hopes so.

He takes a deep breath, and you slowly continue to inch it in, letting gravity do the most part. The road is slippery from the lube and it goes in without much difficulty.

Keigo on the other hand is going insane. He is moaning and whining, gripping onto the sheets with such force that you are afraid he is going to rip it. You watch his arm muscles clench and unclench, and he throws his head back. “Oh. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” He cries with every second it goes deeper.

You hush him, using your other hand to stroke him gently, hoping to coax it in. His squirming makes it harder, and you don't want to hurt him, so you try your best to pin his hips down beneath you so they won't jump up.

And at last, it reaches the bottom. You pull away and look up at him. Keigo is trembling, back arched pornographically, and staring at the ceiling with an open mouth. Tears drip down his cheeks, and his legs are trembling, bent, and spread wide. “All done, it's all the way in now. Shhh, just gotta get adjusted to it.”

He shakes his head and lets out a cry, “Fuck. It's weird. Feels so weird! Full–I cant–”

You lean forward to press your lips to his, cutting his frantic rambling off. “Keigo, do you want to use your safeword?” You ask, just for reassurance.

He shakes his head frantically. “No! Wait! I-I never said I didn't like it!” He pleads desperately to you, even if you haven't tried to make an effort to remove it. His mind seems to be scattered, but this is how he is when he usually tries new things in bed. Today, just a little bit more extreme, considering you haven't tried anything even close to this.

“What does it feel like, Birdie?”

He takes a deep, shaky breath. “Feels full. D-Different type of full. It's weird. And it also feels like I gotta pee a little bit. But in a good way? It's all so weird and overwhelming, Y/N!”

You gulp, watching the way his eyes move around frantically. The way his body is bright red, and he's staring at you with desperate eyes. His mouth is glossy, and his eyes are wet. This is your favorite face of Keigos. This is what you have been wanting to see.

The urges get the better of you. “I'm going to move it now Keigo.”

His eyes widen, and before he can even protest, you move it upward, slightly. His back arches again and he gasps for air. “O-Oh–Its–Fuckkkkk.”

You push it back in completely and he keens, gripping onto your hand with wide eyes. A loud, desperate whine is let out, and more tears stream down his face. He's withering under you, and you can't help but stare at his pretty physique. “Are you oka–”

“Again!” He sobs, legs moving sporadically against the sheets.

His words make you gulp. He's falling into that state again. The one where his only task is to get himself completely fucked dumb. He doesn't want to think about anything except his pleasure, and frankly, his adorable facial expression is pulling you into your very own state with him.

You lift the rod up, farther than last time, until more than half of it sticks out. He stares at it, panting loudly and waiting for you to push it back in. It makes his adrenal pulse, and his mouth begins to water.

You don't tease him too long, and abide by his wishes, pressing the full thing in until it reaches the very bottom of his cock. He moans this time, enjoying it more with every second. Tears continue to fall, but he can't pay attention to them, instead focused on the feeling of being so full. If he had a toy in the other end, he surely would have lost his mind. Next time, for sure.

You continue to bring it up and down and he gets louder and louder with each stroke, not caring for whoever hears him. He is feeling such intense pleasure, everyone should hear his cries. Or at least that is what he believes.

“So cute. We found another hole for me to abuse, yeah Keigo?” You purr, eyes traveling up his shaking body with hunger.

He nods his head frantically. “Yes. Yes! Please fuck it more, I'm begging!”

You stop for a moment, a teasing gleam in your eyes. “Want me to fuck your pee hole? How lewd, Birdie.”

But to your dismay, he isn't responding to the teasing as you hoped. Instead, just agreeing with every word, too lost in the subspace to really care for how dirty your words are. “Yes! F-Fuck my pee hole. Need it. S-So full!”

You don't mind your failed attempt, now staring fondly at the pretty boy in front of you, who is completely out of it by now. It usually takes him longer to get to this state, and it was intriguing that this little rod had such a huge effect on him.

Your pace is quicker, and you use your other hand to stroke him off. His mouth hangs open, and drool begins to bead at the corner of his mouth. Every breath is a high-pitched, airy moan. It's adorable, really.

You watch his thighs start to clench and you raise your eyebrows, knowing that he's going to cum sometime soon. When you glance back up at his face, he's staring back at you, sniffling gently, but his eyes are full of adoration.

“C-Cum? Please?” He is struggling to speak, and you can't help but take mercy on him. He was so cute not to.

“Sure, baby. You can cum,” You coo, leaning forward to kiss his abdomen. He lets out a whine in thanks and nods his head.

A couple seconds go by and his breaths become quicker, louder too. His toes begin to curl, and he grips onto the bedsheets. “N-Now!” He begs, and you quickly take out the rod for him to cum.

White liquid flies out and falls onto his stomach, and you continue to use one hand to stroke him through it all. He takes loud gasps and lets out a loud shaky moan, and then another equally loud and high in pitch. His body constricts in odd, but cute ways, and he clenches his eyes shut, causing more tears to fall down his face.

You sit and admire him, only stopping your hand movements when he lets out a broken sob at the feeling of overstimulation.

A couple seconds go by, and you hum quietly, waiting for him to talk. Depending on what he says will determine if he wants to keep going or rest. The ball is in his court.

It doesn't take him too long to decide, obviously still in the subspace, but willing to communicate.

“Wanna. I wanna. H-Hey, why did you stop?” He complains, whiny and dramatic. You raise your eyebrows at him and bark a short laugh.

You aren't even surprised at this point. So, you pick up the rod again, and he stares at it, like a dog to a bone. He grins, the smile fucked out, and lazy. “Feels, so empty. Put it back, pleaseeeee!”

When you plunge it back in, he almost cums again on the spot.

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#mello.writes #Barkforme! #Kinktober 2023 #dom! reader #sub! hawks #sub! keigo #sub! mha #sub mha #dom reader #keigo smut #hawks smut #mha smut #hawks headcanons #keigo headcanons #keigo takami smut #keigo x reader #hawks x reader #keigo takami #mha keigo takami #mha keigo x reader #mha hawks #bnha smut #reader insert #x reader #gn! reader

[sugarmouchie]

hello valentine! how are you? i hope life is being kind to you! i heard that your request is open, so i try to send something :D hopefully this isn't too much!

may i request haitham with inazuman fem!reader? let's say they met because she's pursuing education in akademiya. once she graduates, she spends some times working in sumeru. but of course, one day she need to go back to inazuma again. how are their long distant relationship look like? do he visit her sometimes? bonus point if she's the opposite of him, like emotional and sunshine type person (but not as loud as kaveh! no shade to him tho, i lobe him xD). of course you can adjust this request as much as you want~ no pressure at all xD

i think that's it! i'm sorry if i make grammarical mistakes or anything, english is not my mother tounge. but still, thanks in advance, dear valentine! 💖

a/n. so sorry this took a while to get to :') im trying my best to catch up with my inbox i promise, other than that,, thank you for the request anon! <3 i’m sick but i’m getting better !! :)

cw. fem!reader, reader is from inazuma, a bit of angst in the beginning (?), mentions of scara (my beloved), cyno, tighnari, kaveh and other characters, i got sorta lazy at the end LOL this was just supposed to be a little time after time fic ig? if that makes any sense like something happens then another thing happens i guess? idk LMAO

"you realize i won't be able to stay for long, right?" your weary voice catches onto his ears when you begin to speak.

with a facepalm, alhaitham replies, "of course, kaveh’s coming home soon so you’d have to go," alhaitham replies, to which you chuckled about.

"well," you pause, "that's not what i meant."

"haitham! stop rummaging through my papers!" you squeak when he attempts to help you, mentally face palming yourself.

"[name]," he looks at you, "people like to help each other, everyone's gotta help someone else some day."

ah, here he goes again.

you giggle.

"okay, okay," you roll your eyes in a playful manner, "well, go check up on kaveh, he's practically screaming your name at this point."

"i'd rather stay here with you," he interrupts.

does he know what will happen?

those words sent shivers down your spine.

yes, you two were in a healthy, established relationship, but what he does not know is that you took his words a completely different way.

all of a sudden, you hear someone walking over to the two of you, alhaitham right beside you instantly assuming it was kaveh.

"hey, you kids gotta go, the bell rang already."

...apparently not.

"stop thinking so hard about it [name]," alhaitham interrupts your train of thought.

"nothing's gonna happen either way, you do realize that if you don't get into [desired career], then there's multiple other options you have in here. we went here for a reason, right?"

...ah, his smart self always seemed to cheer you up, always enough to get rid of every thought in your brain possible, just like when he comforted you when you were panicking about what seemed like fifty different school assignments back in high school.

...

"let me help you," alhaitham spoke, instantly swiping the papers out of your hands.

"but-!?" you insist, but not quick enough since alhaitham was already looking for his glasses, the ones that kaveh gave him since he changed careers in high school.

"no 'but's," he interrupted you once more, your insists practically flying out of the already freezing cold window that was still going because of how hot it was inside your apartment.

...

back in the present time, he was tapping on the side of your head like it was a solid rock, but trying his best to be careful with you.

"you always zone out," alhaitham starts once more, interrupting your train of thought once more.

"and you always interrupt me," you roll your eyes, scoffing at him.

"you didn't even say anything though."

after you and alhaitham’s graduation, you’d decided that you would work in sumeru, with the special occasions of helping out alhaitham too.

"cyno! stop kicking sand onto me!" you laughed, trying not to get sand in your eyes as you were cleaning up the eremites' base.

“where’s tighnari?” you suddenly ask.

"he's on his way, he was dehydrated not too long ago until scaramouche gave him water," he replied, thinking back to the time he had to hand over the water that scaramouche gave him to tighnari who could barely even stand, breathing heavier than usual.

after that, he knew tighnari would take longer than expected to come visit both of you.

scaramouche, having just obtained the crown and lost it, he was more unmotivated than usual so you all knew that he wasn't going to come, considering how stubborn he was and how he refused requests almost all the time.

...and of course, kaveh was stressed out again.

after months and months, here you were, wking on the streets of inazuma with none other than kaveh, alhaitham’s stubborn roommate.

“do you know when you’ll be able to go back to sumeru?” kaveh suddenly asks you, to which you whipped your head to the left to look at him.

“erm… well, i did tell him that i’d have to leave one day but,” you paused, “he didn’t… understand.”

“what do you mean?” kaveh questioned with a gasp to which you let out a small laugh about.

“well, i told him a year ago that one day i’d have to leave and he instantly thought it was about you coming over so i would have to leave,” you replied, trying your best to explain to alhaitham’s blonde friend.

“well i guess that’s just how life works,” kaveh sighed, trying to attempt an emotional facade.

you laughed again.

…

ever since that day, you’ve met some people along the way of your journey back in your hometown, inazuma.

the summer shade of inazuma under certain sakura trees caught your attention when you were walking with ayaka.

the sight reminded you of how things would go downhill but alhaitham was always there with you.

the shade representing your emotions, and the petals representing alhaitham being by your side.

you thought it was cheesy, letting out a small giggle from it to which ayaka questioned you about.

she was the girl who had always thought you were different from any other person in inazuma, since you’ve never told her that you were previously in sumeru for a long period of time.

you looked over to her, your view meeting her confused face.

“…ayaka, i’m fine,” your weary tone of voice spoke.

“…right.”

…

and ever since that day, you and alhaitham always called over any devices that ayaka and thoma made for you.

thoma, having always practiced forging with ayato, has taken a very long time trying to make certain souvenirs for you and other trinkets.

you could never thank him enough for the device that he made for you in order to call alhaitham.

however, you never told thoma that you were in a relationship with a man from sumeru.

…

so when you told him, he was shocked.

to say the least.

…

“AND YOU NEVER TOLD US THAT PART!?” he practically screamed.

“…”

“i knew you would act like this,” ayato came up from behind.

and well, so in conclusion, you and alhaitham’s relationship was… pretty much perfect!

the only downside was that you could never find ways to convince ayato to drive you back to sumeru, but you had your ways to convince him.

“alhaitham, hi!” thoma yelled, seeing his camera on screen from a few meters away behind you.

“THOMA—“

@sugarmouchie do not copy/translate/repost on other platforms please and thank uu 🤍

#alhaitham fluff #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #alhaitham x y/n #valentine’s works 🎀 #genshin impact fanfics #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin imagines

[kawaiiocelot]

Hi! It is I, currently in possession of a query

How do you interpret Durgetash with Wren and Gortash? I'd love to see more about their dinamic!

HI HELLO THANK YOU FOR THE ASK EVEN THOUGH I AM A MILLION YEARS LATE TO ANSWERING IT!! I wanted to do more art for this but alas, I have been so busy and in my free time I’ve been working on writing and cosplay stuff instead!!

BUT!! WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!! Allow me to give some info on my personal version of Durgetash aka Wrentash or Wrenver.

Some of this is kinddddaaa subject to change since I haven’t finished Wren’s playthrough yet and haven’t decided 100% what his fate is gonna be hehehe.

To me they’re both such emotionally stunted idiots who fall deeply and grossly in love. Both finally finding someone else worthy of admiration and who matches their ambition. Someone to perhaps be an equal at last.

Ughhhhh I just love the Blasphemy of Durgetash, it's delicious.

Wren definitely feels A LOT of weakness and guilt as well as confusion when he starts to catch feelings for Gortash.

He’s definitely never felt this way about another person before. Just never saw the need to tbh. Never desired to. But with Gortash something clicked intellectually and physically.

I see them having some interesting build up, both trying to make sorts of things in their heads and if this is a bad idea. But they’re both so drawn to each other. They’re fated. (Sometimes I like to say fated to die together in every universe to make myself extra sad)

Pre-tadpole Wren is a little less deadpan and a little more freaky and fiendish tbh, BUT he definitely does not handle having romantic feelings normally.

Anyways he doesn’t kill him and lets his feelings torment him.

I think Wren never realized how touch starved he was until Gortash?? Like I never imagined physical touch to be one of his love languages but uhhhh it might actually be lol.

I always imagined Gortash being casually touchy with him at a random moment. Like a hand on his shoulder?? Or hands accidentally brushing together?? And this just HITS Wren. He feels a little feral. And I think they keep having moments like this. Gortash of course catches on. They keep pushing each other's boundaries and what not. Very back and forth, very playful, but still dramatic like a dance.

Constantly finding excuses to spend more and more time in each other's company. 

But I can definitely see them squabbling a lot and play fighting. 💕

And one day it just escalates into something more intimate,,,,,,

Lots of pent up feelings and ferality.

And I think something just SHIFTS and they really become something to each other. Not necessarily labeled but it’s SOMETHING and it's strong.

As I mentioned, Gortash makes Wren realize how touch starved he is so in time I think he becomes REALLY CLINGY with him. Wren is more of a physical being who prefers actions to words so I think he’d be all over him when they get to that point lol.

They both have their respective plans prioritized of course but they just can’t resist each other?? They fill some void for each other that neither knew they had and I think that’s why they become so attached at the hip.

Wren will?? Listen?? And somewhat behave for pretty much only Gortash??

Wren really likes to bite and claw and mark and I think most Durgetash shippers agree that Gortash would be into that. 🖤

Gortash chew toy confirmed.

 ANYWAYS I know this is getting long but I do have a few other quick tidbits about them.

I know they’re “serious baddies” and what not but I think they have many moments of just being silly and cringe and playful with each other?? To an extent?? Healing inner child vibes.

Gortash gifted Wren the dagger earrings that he wears.

Even tho they are very close, Wren still fantasizes about killing Gortash lol. Just Durge things. <3

TADPOLE WREN IS A BIT DIFFERENT. I’m still playing Act 3 so I haven’t decided how everything is handled. Wren obviously doesn’t remember him. :’) BUT he has this weird connected feeling to him still ever since Gortash’s name was first mentioned. He collects every note, letter, and book that contains Gortash’s name because reading the name makes him feel weirdly closer to remembering something. No joke, he steals every poster of him in the city as well (I can’t believe those things weigh more than a pound each!! My little twink does NOT have the strength stat to carry around much more LOL).

Upon meeting him again, Wren still does feel an inexplicable connection to him but also wants to hear him out because Gortash is the only one who allegedly remembers him but is genuinely not meeting him with immediate animosity?? And like, is actually giving him some slight answers about his past?? While everyone else just seems to want to confuse him or kill him. And he’s a bit of a control freak so he’s desperate to learn about his past and clings to anyone who can help him with this.

ANYWAYS THAT'S ENOUGH OUT OF ME FOR NOW!! Only time will tell what else I decide to write for these two but these are the basics~ They’re grossly and chaotically in complicated love.🖤

#THANK YOU FOR BEING INTERESTED IN THEM I AM SORRY I AM LATE TO THIS #BUT I LOVE THEM!! #bg3 #durge #enver gortash #durgetash #durge oc #Wren tag #my art #my stuff #ask

[lambergeier]

2023 bookpost 🥳🥳🥳

43 books read this year! about 2/3rds of last year's number, but i fell off pace in summer and for the last two months and never actually have a target or care about my pace anyways, so 43 is a good solid number imho. as last year, full list with light commentary below, recs are bolded:

JANUARY

Neuromancer by William Gibson

The Browns of California: The Family Dynasty that Transformed a State and Shaped a Nation by Miriam Pawel (i am punished for my desire to learn more about the two governors brown's effects on the state of california with: family hagiography. should have known tbh)

Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman (SOOOOOO GOOD. apocalyptic/religious horror in 1350's france during the black plauge. for fans of the terror, and fans of people who are in love but for whom the love won't alwayshelp!)

The Mirror and the Light by Hilary Mantel (hilary ilu u were one of the greatest novelists of the past hundred years it was an honor to be alive at the same time as you. this could have been 200 pages shorter. ilu tho)

Did Ye Hear Mammy Died? by Seamas O’Reilly (short, sweet childhood memoir of the irish writer/comedian who, famously, tweeted that story about meeting the president of ireland on ketamine.)

FEBRUARY

Either/Or by Elif Bautman (girls can i tell you. i didn't realize this was a sequel until like 100 pages into the book. that was on me.)

Two Doctors Gorski by Isaac Fellman (ah mr fellman. lol)

The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka (really cool piece of fiction, first half told from the collective viewpoint of a group of regulars at a public swimming pool, second half about the one specific swimmer who's losing her independence to dementia. short, packs a punch)

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier (UNDEFEATED!)

One Man’s Terrorist: a Political History of the IRA by Peter Finn

Nightcrawlers by Leila Mottley (love to see local 22yos succeed wildly. does NOT mean this book was good god bless)

MARCH

The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa

The Passenger by Cormac McCarthy

Stella Maris by Cormac McCarthy (to be clear, if you are not a cormac mccarthy fan, these books will not make you his fan. they are very much about this man's incredible hopelessness regarding a world that has invented and used the atomic bomb. what can be redeemed, etc etc. i loved them, despite a major part of the plot being consensual sibling incest, they were beautiful and phenomenal, they were not light reading)

APRIL

A Smile in his Lifetime by Joseph Hansen

Glory by NoViolet Bulawayo (cannot recommend the audiobook highly enough. emma read the paper copy to catch up to where i was in the audiobook so we could listen together on a car trip, and she agreesTM that the audiobook is the way to go)

MAY

Barbarian Days by William Finnegan

The Dark Lord of Derkholm by Dianna Wynne Jones

JUNE

We Don’t Know Ourselves by Fintan O’Toole (really really really cool nonfiction about ireland since the 1950s, part autobiography, more parts cultural history of a very quickly changing nation. fascinating to read this within 12 months of finn's one man's terrorist, which was a very leftist history of the IRA, and keefe's say nothing, which was an only very slightly leftist history of the IRA that was most interested in like, how compelling the history is (not a drag on it). o'toole not as big on the IRA as the other two! understandable!)

JULY

The Binding by Bridget Collins

The War That Killed Achilles by Caroline Alexander (for all fans of the history of the story of the illiad!!! short and passionate!)

Flux by Jinwoo Chong (solid new debut scifi - who thought it could still happen!)

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy

The Witch King by Martha Wells (this book sucked ass!!! have mentioned this several times already this year!!!)

An Oral History of the New York Commune, 2052–2072 by Eman Abdelhadi and M. E. O'Brien (some things about this book were fun, many were infuriating, absolute worst had to be the insistence that in the future: therapy would solve even more problems that it does today :))

The Last Samurai by Helen DeWitt (see my beautiful wife's post on the subject)

Stay True by Hua Hsu (beautiful, deserves the pulitzer, not 100% my thing but still very good)

AUGUST

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver (the voice was hard to get used to for the first 50 pages, but i ended up really liking this tbh. i've never read copperfield, so not sure if that improved the experience)

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

The Boys by Katie Hafner (a mistake to read this, but at least the twist was funny! there wasn't anything else in the book, but only a partial waste of time at the end)

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (finally read this, which has truly polarized my extended social circle, but i ended up liking it. i didn't always get what it was doing 100% of the time, and didn't so much feel compelled to find out, but i tore through it and will always be a sucker for a story about that doesn't fix you but does keep you alive. can see both sides of this debate)

American Overdose: The Opioid Tragedy in Three Acts by Chris McGreal (we have to kill every sackler. solid history of the epidemic. EVERY sackler.)

SEPTEMBER

The Season by Kristen Richardson (half-baked history of the debutante social ritual. but, not like there's many other histories of the subject!)

All the Horses of Iceland by Sarah Tolmie

Big Swiss by Jen Beagin (funny, contained extensive dirtbag lesbian behaviors, but lacked some heft at the end)

In Memoriam by Alice Winn (do you s2b2? do you want some solid, tome-like origfic? do you want all of those things and also siegfried sassoon rpf? well great news!)

Now We Shall Be Entirely Free by Andrew Miller (pleaseeeeeee tell me if you have read this or do read this it was SOOOOOO GOOD and i had NEVER heard of this guy before!!! fantastically written prose, everything builds with infinite dread to a single horrible punchline, i am still wowed thinking about it)

The Trees by Percival Everett (haha hey wanna get fucked up. dark dark dark comedy)

OCTOBER

Flowers from the Storm by Laura Kinsale (really enjoyable if slightly overlong romance novel that i got off a rec list for historical romances with disabled love interests. does a really good interesting job of giving the love interest full breadth and agency despite severe processing impairment following a stroke)

Mobility by Linda Kiesling

The Rachel Incident by Rachel O’Donahughe

NOVEMBER

NO BOOK NOVEMBER MFS

DECEMBER

Not Even the Dead by Juan Gómez Bárcena (would also like to know if anyone else has read this so we can try and figure out what the fuck was going on right at the end!! also the fact that this is primarily about mexican history, written by a spaniard, with the specter of the US very prominent in the book is like. hm i would love to be able to read some mexican press reviews of this lol)

When Crack Was King: A People's History of a Misunderstood Era by Donovan X. Ramsey (picked this up following the opioid book, which discussed but didn't go deep on how the country's reaction to the opioid epidemic was so vastly different from the crack epidemic. put a lot of stuff into context lmao.)

WAIT AT SOME POINT THIS YEAR I REREAD RUMO AND HIS MIRACULOUS ADVENTURES BY WALTER MOERS. I DON'T KNOW WHEN. DIDN'T WRITE IT DOWN. BUT I DID REREAD IT. 44 BOOKS. shout out to mr. moers for writing some extremely fucking creepy books for teenagers <3

okay i was gonna do more about like general trends and vibes of this year's books, also about the four books i am still reading rn lol, but i have been typing for soooooooooooo long so i'm just gonna reblog with more thots in the morning. stay prepared everyone

#book post

[honimello]

Lussuria

Cardinal Copia x Demisexual!Reader

Summary: Lust runs rampant in the halls of the ministry and while you respect the hustle, it's not something you participate in. One night in confessional, you express your feelings on the subject to a certain Cardinal who understands your plight. (Both reader and the Cardinal are demiromantic and demisexual, Copia is a virgin because I said so. They're also autistic but it's not mentioned.)

Warnings: Swearing, Feelings of being outcast, Hearing someone have sex in the next room, Afab!Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Lonely Copia, All Papas are alive, probably grammar errors

Words: 2,122

A/N: This is so gonna be so self indulgent, y'all don't even know lol. I'm hoping to make this a slow-burn long fic with multiple parts. I really wanna focus on the reader and copias non-sexual, platonic relationship before I move onto the more romantic parts. They will fuck eventually tho lol i think im gonna leave this as a one shot lol

LUSSURIA; LUST

Lust is sinful longing, the inward sin which leads to the falling away from God (Romans 1:21).

Being a Sibling of Sin was not difficult. Giving into temptation came easily to you; Wrath, Envy, Glutton, and Sloth being some of your favorites. Although, as much as you enjoyed it at the Ministry, and especially with how devout you were in your faith, it was maddening to see the importance everyone here put on the sin of Lust. Lust was not something you often participated in, at the very least not with someone else, but some days it really felt like that's all anyone really cared about in the Ministry- the other sins being forgotten.

Being demiromantic and demisexual, or on the aroace spectrum at all, was quite difficult. While people didn’t “fornicate” in any place other than their own private spaces, and any black masses or rituals containing sexual acts were explicitly stated as so and were not required to attend, it still felt like there was no running or hiding from it. 

Sounds of lovers in the throws of passion often echoed down the halls of the very old, very thin-walled dormitories, especially at night. It wasn’t uncommon to walk into a “vacant” closet or “empty” classroom and accidentally catch some fellow Siblings in quite compromising positions. You had even heard stories of people walking in on Papa Terzo in such positions, often with one or more Siblings entangled with him. You had never heard of stories like that for Papa Secondo, but you’re sure it's happened even though he’s not nearly as proactive as his younger brother; he still gets around. 

Don’t get me wrong, you respect Lust and all those that participated in it, it just wasn't really for you. You haven't found anyone you have a profound emotional connection with, and so you never had a sexual desire to be with anyone you knew. You had some friends and while you're sure they would be more than happy to help you out with any sexual frustrations you had, it wasn’t what you wanted. They were nice but there wasn’t that connection you craved. Sex and romance went hand in hand for you, and with romance came emotional connection. You couldn’t see anyone in a lustful way without it. 

Sometimes, you felt left out because of this. You’d never been to any of the more risque masses or rituals, and while you're still not sure you would even enjoy it, it's hard not to feel lost when all your friends would reference the mass and how much they enjoyed it. It felt like you were being slowly pushed out of the group, they didn't understand when you would talk about the sins you enjoyed. Some people couldn’t even recite all the Seven Deadly Sins, and while it wasn’t required (Almost nothing was in the Ministry, they did celebrate free will after all) it still was very telling to you where their minds lay. They didn’t mean to make you feel this way, you knew that. 

But it was difficult not to feel rage bubbling up when you could hear one of your friends fucking someone into their mattress in the next dorm over. This had been happening frequently, they had just gotten into a new relationship. You were happy for them but not happy enough to stop the angry growl that ripped through your throat as you smashed your pillow over your head in the hopes of drowning out the noise. It was 11pm for Lucifer’s sake! You had exams in the morning! The only thing that you could think of to save yourself was going to confession. It was Thursday night and confessional ended in about an hour, you could probably make it down there in time. 

You weren’t entirely sure who would be running the confessional tonight but it had never really mattered to you whereas most people would often pick and choose which days and hours depending on who was hearing confessions. Somewhere in the back of your mind, as the mattress springs in the next room creak louder, you can slightly recall reading that Thursday was the Cardinals night. This thought only solidified your plan to go to confession. 

For whatever reason, most Siblings did not like the Cardinal. He was too shy and strange to really fit in, it always amazed you how easily people can sniff out an outsider. He wasn’t an outsider truly, but he had been a transfer from Italy to the Ministry here in America. And his penchant for rats didn’t do him any favors. The thought makes you laugh a little as you get dressed and leave your dorm room, locking the door behind you. 

The noises were only louder out here but it was a small price to pay just so you could have at the very least five minutes away from this place. You had already gone to confession this week, having confessed your sin of Wrath to Papa Primo in the earliest hour of confession. Someone had mouthed off to you in the hallway and you couldn't hold back the words of venom that spewed from your mouth. Sins are to be celebrated, and Primo was very proud of you for sticking up for yourself, but he did tell you to be more careful next time as you had gotten punched in response to your words. Your cheek was still a little bruised but it wasn’t very noticeable. 

Your shoes pat on the stone flooring of the Ministry, the ancient building was made of mostly marble and stone. Most wings had been renovated recently but your dorm was the oldest, and had been, for the most part, ignored. Tonight was probably the only night you really detested that fact, and as you came to the bottom of the staircase leading into the main hall of the Ministry, you finally heard the moans and whimpers fade out. It makes you wonder just how many other people are itching to get away from the noise as much as you are. It doesn’t matter much to you now that you’re out of earshot. Out of sight, out of mind as they say. 

It doesn't take long for you to get to the large wooden doors that separate the main hall from the confession room. As you open the doors with a loud creak, you take a second to take in the room. It was probably your favorite room in the whole Ministry, besides the Library of course. It was small, unlike the rest of the rooms in the building, and had red velvet curtains drawn over the tall windows on the right side of the room for maximum darkness during confession. The confessional itself sat on the farthest side opposite the door, it stands ominous and tall right in front of you. It's made of a dark wood with ornate carvings depicting various demons as well as the Olde One himself. You approach slowly, there are slats on the thin doors and through them you can see a distinct, unbearably recognizable red. The Cardinal sits inside, and from inside you can hear his quiet, hesitant voice call out.

“You may approach, sorella.” His voice wavers slightly, like he’s afraid if he talks you might just run away at the realization that it's him in the booth. You just nod and enter your respective side across from him. It is not easy to see him through the partition; to make confessing easier, you’re sure. But from what you can see, his biretta atop his head is partially askew and his makeup seems to be smudged, almost like he ran his hand down his face in exhaustion; forgetting his painted face.

“Praise me, Cardinal, for I have sinned.” You whisper. It seems almost wrong to be speaking in the dreadful, eerie silence of the room. You hear almost every breath the Cardinal takes beside you, and perhaps, if the partition wasn’t there, you could feel every breath as well. “It has been one day since my last confession.”

“A day? Sorella, you know you only have to confess once a week, sí?” The Cardinal mutters, he seems taken aback at this but he adds quickly: “Not that I am complaining!-- Eh, you will have to forgive me, sorella. It is not often that people come in for confession when I am attending. The Siblings do love their Papa’s, heh heh.” His laugh holds no joy, in fact he sounds almost lonely.

“It’s okay, Cardinal, I understand. I came in to confess my sin of Wrath.”

“Wrath?”

“Yes, Cardinal. Wrath.” You can hear him shifting on the bench beside you, as well as the squeak of his leather gloves gripping the bench beside his legs. He continues to shift nervously, and you wonder if maybe he thinks you are angry with him. It wouldn’t be the first time someone has chewed him out, he was a very tough Latin teacher here at the Ministry and you’re confident he has had his fair share of Wrath directed at him.

“W-would you feel comfortable elaborating, sorella?” The Cardinals voice almost sounds inaudible. “It is just- it is not common that I hear of committing Wrath, unless the subject of the matter is Papa Secondo, of course.” 

To that he gives a real chuckle, and it makes you laugh as well. Secondo always was a hothead, seeing him stomp around the Ministry with a scowl on his face was not a rare sight.

“Yes, Cardinal… Well, it started a few weeks ago when a friend of mine got a new partner, and while I’m very happy for them, I don't enjoy having to listen to them in the next room… If you understand what I’m saying.” You feel a little silly once you say it out loud, but the grave ‘hmm’ from beside you tells you that he takes your plight seriously. “You see, Cardinal, I am demisexual and I don't really participate in those kinds of activities, it makes me very uncomfortable to even think about it some days, let alone having to hear a friend of mine doing that.”

He hums once again and sighs. 

“Yes, sorella, I understand all too well. I share similar feelings to you on this topic, and while I love my fratelli, growing up with them was difficult. I am sure you have heard of their extracurricular activities, no?” He waits a beat for you to respond, then he continues, a certain edge to his voice. “Sí, well, I heard a lot about their escapades, sometimes even accidentally walking in on them in the act! It was very scarring as I am sure you can understand. I can tell why that would tempt you to rage in a way.”

You let the Cardinals words sink in a bit and you're suddenly very glad you decided to come confess, the sense of comradery you have found here is surprising but not unwelcome. In fact, it’s quite comforting. You just hope your dorm neighbor isn’t still going at it when you go back. 

“Thank you, Cardinal. I was feeling a little guilty for being angry with them, but I’m glad I came to confess tonight.” You whisper, suddenly feeling the urge to hold his hand. This thought seems to hit you quite hard because you almost miss the way he sucks in a breath next to you and speaks up once more.

“Yours sins are to be celebrated, sorella, you should not feel guilty. Being upset with someone does not mean that you respect or love them any less, especially if what they are doing is causing you discomfort, sorella.” The Cardinal sighs once more, “Okie dokie, I am afraid our time is up! I dismiss you, sorella, and eh-- what do the kids say? Be gay, do crimes?”

You can’t hold your bubbling laughter in, in quite the same way he can’t stop himself from joining you in your laughter. To complete the confession, you both say a short prayer for Lucifer. The Cardinal, ever the gentleman, offers to let you leave the confession room first so you can leave relatively alone. You leave with a new pep in your step and a weight lifted off your shoulders, have you finally made a friend who understands you? Maybe you will join him for confession again soon.

The stairs up to the dorms seem shorter this time as you trot up them, and you are elated to hear only silence when you reach your dorm room. You sleep very well that night and wake up feeling fully rested for the first time in a long time. 

#cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia #the band ghost #ghost fic #my writing

[ark-bile]

Could you perhaps tell us more about the way your creepypasta au works, like maybe more facts about Tim and Brian. Don’t feel pressured too tho ((love your art btw <3))

Its mainly divided into a bunch of cults;

- The Slenderman Cult: Toby, Tim, and Brian, (as well as Kate but shes not very active right now) are in this cult. Toby is currently in Russia and has been caught by Tim and Brian and is now being taught a lesson by them to not disobey slendies orders. Toby doesnt like to follow rules because he finds them boring, thats why he often goes rogue. Tim has split personalities, his main (real) personality is Tim Wright, and his second is Masky. Masky is a cult fanatic, he worships Slenderman and is very loyal to him, he’d beat someone up for saying anything negative about him. Hoodie is more of a middle ground type of guy, he only follows orders because of the benefits he gets in the end, such as being able to explore his hobbies (which is mainly guns and hiking), as well as not get killed lol. Kate is rlly just a merchandiser for the cult, she supplies her own faction in America, but has recently gone missing. The boys are currently in Russia, and are gonna return in a month.

As for the creepypasta’s like EJ, Jeff and others of the sort, they fall under the “miscellaneous” category. Sure, EJ is in a cult of his own, but he is the only guy in it. He’s 34, but died at 23 and he still looks the same age as he did back then — implying that he is immortal. Jeff is currently 22, he’s very young and has been on the run from authorise since he was 17. He recently got out of his psychosis episode, and is being hunted down by Liu. Jeff assumes Liu just wants to kill him, so he runs away the closer he gets… when really Liu just wants his brother to get help before he falls into another psychotic episode.

Liu isn’t a creepypasta, he’s just a normal human that’s been privately investigating his brother for 4 years in hopes of one day catching him and bringing him back home.

Helen, Jane, Clocky and Seedeater are a part of Zalgo’s cult. Zalgo is basically SCP-001 (The Scarlet King) but, like more edgy. Zalgo is currently in a deep slumber, and is prophesied to wake on Judgement Day. They are sworn enemies of SlenderMan’s cult, because while Slenderman is a physical embodiment of hatred and human carnal desire, he is also selfish in the way that he consumes all souls and flesh for himself. Zalgo, does it for a bigger cause, but that is not yet revealed why. Chernobog is somewhat the same, but since his cult is very small, he is undetected.

Laughing Jack, Candy Pop and his sister, and Jason the Toymaker, are all from a different world; the Clown world, where they are born and sent to earth as “angels”, and return if their mission succeeds. However, these guys had failed their mission, and gone rogue. For that reason, they are permanently banished from their home. Clowns from this world are able to make their own pocket dimensions and can’t die in the human realm.

The Rake, he’s just a creature that no one knows the origin of, nor do they know its purpose. He haunts Toby, and has often teared Toby to shreds for no reason, that is why Toby fears him so much. The Rake is a creature that all cults remain wary of… except for EJ. For some reason, the Rake isnt hostile with EJ. There’s no reason why, or at least, its not known why.

THAT’S ALL! Thanks so much for reading this far, I hope it made sense! If you have any questions, I’ll add it into this post and answer it for you with tag! Mwah, cya.

#art #creepyart #fanart #creepypasta #eyeless jack #toby rogers #jeff the killer #ticci toby #slenderman #jeffery woods

[warmilksz]

💫PICK A CHARACTER 💫 intuitive reading😋

Will they pursue their intentions with you?

Disclaimer: this is not a fortune/tarot reading, I can't predict any futures and this is honestly for fun lol

Time to center yourself! Close ur mind to any outside thoughts and focus on the present moment. Breath in. Hold it. Now finally breath out. Scroll down, pick a character and find ur reading! 👏🥳 leave what doesn't resonate for another reader💫

Hi everyone! This is my third time doing this so I'm still getting better with each post✋😩yet this reading was kinda tough, didn't come as easily to me. Nevertheless, Thanks for reading! At the very least I hope you got a bit of entertainment in ur day from reading it 😊

I'm getting for this group, they may not pursue you, but it's totally without hard feelings ! They mean the best for you it's just perhaps they have something to tackle at the moment and their mind is already preoccupied. Yet, I can't shake this awkward feeling I'm getting from this group🧐. Are they hiding something from you? You're person may actually have a secret (u probably knew but they play it cool) soft 💕spot for you. Maybe cause it hurts them to know they are so preoccupied 🥲. So even when they are pursuing something, you are on their mind. I think they will realize this and they will make an exception for you after all. But just know your intentions are just as important as theirs so if u desire, don't wait around for them! You can do anything you set ur mind to, so go do it!

I think they will pursue you. Or at the very least they feel a strong want for you 🤭. Although they are hot and cold with it. Sometimes they really want to take action but then other times they may feel some resistance. Originally from outside people or those around them but eventually It could get to them internally and they'd hate to admit it. But I think despite the opinions of others, it's not a big distraction for long for them and they will keep taking steps 😤. They will shake it off and stay focused in time. Their efforts can be presented in a smooth cautious way tho. they don't want to offend you or scare you 😳 (I kept getting mixed up with this and the next pile so there maybe some connections between the two for both groups/their intentions will evolve into the next pile)

yes and they wanna do it in a sweet way---they may plan it out And make sure everything is to your liking before they approach you! I'm trying to pick up more but I feel like it's that simple 😭 they aren't overwhelmed in a negative way. Sure they have a lot of plans or motives but they are secure. They want to pursue you and they are gonna do it but in soft way. I'm getting an ironic visual of someone running really passionately and hard to catch a marshmello. (Do you like marshmallows or fluffy sweet things like hello kitty? lmao) maybe they see you this way. I feel like they are getting all fired up and working hard just to cool off and be gentle (aww😂)

Will they 🤔? I think they don't really know yet. I get they have the spirit but the path is not planned out. They are unsure but it's leaning on yes. Maybe they are waiting for a chance or a opportunity to make their move and get started. They want to take action and might become bold without a prominent warning or sign. Pretty much, they haven't really got it all figured out yet. But they have a feeling that their intentions is something they wanna pursue so they are watching you and looking for an opening to act 😅. I get this frustrates you though but be patient! Good things come to those who wait!

#pick an image reading #pick a picture #future spouse #pancaketiffy #fs reading #pick a pile #anime and manga #hxh gon #hxh kurapika #hxh leorio #hxh killua #reading #intuitive #pick a character #pac #collective reading

[kayleen756894]

It’s best girl’s birthday 🤍❄️

I’ve been writing a Bees Schnees fic for Weiss’ birthday that I really hoped to have done for today but it’s nowhere close lol (at 5000 words so far tho). My goal now is to finish it for the end of the month but I wanted to give Weiss something today so y’all can have a lengthy snippet! Hope you enjoy and anticipate the full fic 🤍🖤💛

This time had her counting down the days. This time made it difficult to fall asleep the night before. This time she expected a change. This time she knew would be her best birthday yet.

Because this was her first birthday since joining Blake and Yang’s relationship.

It was still fresh enough to make her giddy, rousing most mornings in heart-pounding bewilderment that both were sleeping beside her, Yang snoring in her ear and Blake’s fur tickling her neck. She’d loved them for years, ached with the onslaught of emotions that thawed through freedom, but never planned to confess. The thought of intruding was so mortifying it froze her tongue, pining preferable to losing them entirely. She never imagined they felt the same—why would she when they were understandably enthralled with each other—so when they approached her one evening hand in hand, Blake’s ears flicking nervously and Yang’s cheeks a brilliant red, she thought she was dreaming.

Each warm morning proved otherwise, and this was no different.

In terms of birthday surprises she didn’t miss the biggest clue this time: the parallel universe she found herself in where she was last to rise. Yang wasn’t in bed, her astounding body heat lingering in the depression in the mattress, but the chill of her absence was soothed by Blake stroking her arm and pulling her close.

“Happy birthday,” Blake whispered, pressing a kiss to her crown.

Weiss sighed in contentment. “Thank you.” She snuggled under Blake’s chin, mouth twitching at the muted purrs rumbling in Blake’s chest. “Where’s Yang?”

“Making you breakfast.”

Of course she was.

Acts of service were Yang’s predominant love language, something Weiss had come to learn after how often Yang effortlessly carried her shopping bags without prompt, how she immediately tried fixing anything that broke, how Bumblebee was always tuned and ready for any outing Weiss desired. Weiss was used to service thanks to Klein and all the other staff at the manor, but services provided out of love rather than a sense of obligation was alien to her.

Well, until Yang brightened up her life like the sun peaking over the horizon, darkness banished under the rays showering her like spotlights. Making someone’s day better was simply Yang’s nature and that stubborn oaf never asked for anything in return. Helping people gave Yang purpose and satisfaction, Weiss knew that, but she wished Yang knew how to accept help, too.

“Why aren’t you with her?” Weiss asked, voice still muddled with sleep.

“To—” Blake trailed into an adorable yawn, her perpetual tiredness undeterred by today’s monumental occasion. “To make sure you stay in bed.”

Weiss blinked, retreating just enough to catch the mischievous glint in Blake’s glossy eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Blake’s breathy laugh warmed Weiss’ cheeks, lithe fingers skiing down the avalanche of Weiss’ loose tresses. “Wouldn’t be breakfast in bed otherwise.”

“How romantic of her,” Weiss droned with a roll of her eyes, ignoring how Blake probably knew of the butterflies mirroring the motion in her stomach. “Does it really matter where I eat?”

“Let her have this,” Blake giggled. “She wants to treat you today.”

“She does that every day.”

“I’m sure she’d love to hear that, but she really wants to today.”

“Oh, fine.” Her sigh billowed with faux-exasperation, a fond smile tugging her lips. “I suppose I won’t argue if that’s what she wants.”

Blake mimicked her smile, increasing the tempo of the butterflies dancing in her gut, gifting Weiss’ forehead with a long kiss. “Glad you’re so agreeable because the rest of the day will be like this, too. We planned it all out.”

“‘We,’” Weiss mocked with a snort. “Sure. How much of it was just you?”

Blake cocked an amused brow. “Would you believe me if I said most of it was her?”

“No.”

Outside of strategy games Yang was the very definition of spontaneity, each second like a peculiar challenge to outdo her prior insanity, and Weiss made peace with the erratic screeches from the garage and the playful smacks from a detached metal arm when they were positioned too far to touch and her constant schedule interruptions to humour Yang’s daredevil tendencies. All Weiss knew growing up was compulsory silence, so during their early Beacon days such noisy behaviour annoyed her to no end.

But there was love in Yang’s noise, just like there was love in Blake’s quiet, and their all-encompassing contrast left no room for loneliness.

Weiss’ deadpan expression chipped from her musings, crumbling altogether when Blake’s amusement didn’t relent.  “Wait, you’re serious? Since when does Yang plan anything?”

Only then did amber soften into the look that, when they were seventeen, melted the frozen chains caging Weiss’ heart.

“Since she fell head over heels for you.”

And Weiss always knew what to say. Always had a witty comment prepared. If she couldn’t speak her mind then others would talk over her, and she’d lose the power she was promised. She’d been trained since birth to outsmart liars and cheaters and miscreants trying to take advantage of her; being groomed by politics and harsh business practices and an impassive family offered little else in ways of survival.

But she wasn’t surviving anymore, she was living, and such genuineness rendered her speechless.

Blake cupped her face, thumb stroking the apple of her cheek. Dark, thick eyelashes fluttered as molten amber flickered about, admiring her scar and nose and mouth like they were priceless paintings hung in her personal gallery. Then, in that entrancing way of hers, “Would you believe me if I said I know how she feels?”

Honestly, it required constant reminders—not like she asked, nor did she need to with Blake and Yang’s openness with their affection. She didn’t get along with them at first, not with Ruby either, and she was mature enough to admit it was primarily her doing. She was petulant and prejudiced and considered it a miracle they wanted anything to do with her after her abhorrent behaviour. It wasn’t entirely her fault, impressionable as she’d been, but it was no excuse.

Forgiveness was incomprehensible before Beacon, just like how anything could possibly be more important than her rightful place leading the company, so being told it was okay, that she had opportunities to overcome who she was, that every misstep established a new path, that she’d be supported in battle rather than judged; such unfamiliar encouragement and understanding pierced the frosted glass veiling her eyes to reveal another concept previously incomprehensible.

Love.

Before she knew it Blake and Yang became her night and day, occupying her thoughts so embarrassingly often she was even distracted from her studies. After Beacon fell she wistfully beheld every dusk and dawn, her longing for them all that kept her going until she found her home in their arms again. The very notion of losing them again was unbearable, and she was willing to bury her true feelings deep inside if it kept them close. She’d take their companionship in any form so long as they stayed in her life.

Only recently she realized how significantly snow illuminated the night and glimmered during the day.

“Eventually I’ll say yes without hesitating,” Weiss murmured, hoping her residual guilt wasn’t too palpable. “I’m sure you understand why it’s still difficult for me.”

“Here.” Blake’s tone drooped along with her eyelids, thumb skimming Weiss’ lower lip. “I’ll make it easier.”

And then Blake’s lips were on hers, soft and reassuring, and everything Weiss had ever worried about no longer mattered. Blake’s hand snuck around the back of her neck to tug her closer and why would Weiss want to be anywhere else, sighing at the warm press of Blake’s half-naked body and laying a hand to Blake’s chest, idly tracing her collarbone. Blake purred into her mouth, their kiss briefly fractured by Weiss’ breathy giggle before Blake surged forward again, nibbling gently at Weiss’ lower lip until coaxing a soft moan.

Another escaped as Blake’s other hand snuck under her shirt to flatten at the small of her back, pulling her closer almost possessively, and honestly Weiss wouldn’t mind spending her entire birthday right—

“Wow.”

They begrudgingly separated at the awestruck utterance to see Yang watching from the doorway with wide eyes and a wider grin. Her arms managed multiple plates buried in sweet-smelling food—exactly what food Weiss couldn’t say, as she found herself hopelessly devoted for the umpteenth time to those exposed and ever impressive muscles.

“Don’t stop on my account,” Yang said, narrowly successful in ripping Weiss’ gaze to her easy shrug before leaning against the doorframe. “Pretend I’m not here.”

“What an incredible idea,” Weiss quipped with a roll of her eyes, a natural reaction to Yang’s conspicuous presence. “What do you think, Blake?” She contained her amusement as Blake’s ears flicked her way before her eyes, clearly enjoying Yang’s appearance just as much. “How long do you think she’d last if we kept kissing?”

That enticed a playful curl of Blake’s lips. “Do you think five minutes is too harsh?”

“Please. We’d get dive-bombed after one.”

“Hey now.” Yang pouted. “I’m right—”

“Oh? What’s that?” Weiss stage whispered, pretending to survey the room. “To my knowledge no one else should be here.”

Yang huffed over Blake’s quiet giggles, her vexed façade tarnished by the sparkle in her eyes. “Aren’t you hilarious.”

Yes she was—quite prideful of the fact—and aware she had one person to thank for it. She smirked at Yang, edges mellowed with inevitable endearment. “I learned from the best.”

Yang’s big, dumb grin in response disrupted Weiss’ heart rate like clockwork, how it always stretched from ear to ear with unrestrained buoyancy and sniped between her ribs with pinpoint accuracy. Yang sauntered over with a bounce to her step and Weiss and Blake sat up as she relinquished the plates at the end of the bed, grin still firmly in place as she bent over to kiss their cheeks.

“You hear that, Blake?” Yang egged as she attached to Weiss’ side like a personal space heater, reaching to hold Blake’s hand on Weiss’ lap, and Weiss couldn’t resist laying her own hand on top. “Weiss thinks I’m the best.”

“Well, you are,” Blake agreed way too readily, signalling the oncoming jibe. “At being a goofball.”

There it was, and Weiss smiled at the taunting flick of Blake’s ear and Yang childishly sticking out her tongue. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Yang didn’t seem bothered by the gang-up, steel fingers squeezing Blake’s and her thumb stroking Weiss’. “If it makes you both smile, I’ll be the greatest goofball who ever goofed.”

That revolutionary statement was already a strong start, and to this day Weiss couldn’t believe how attractive Yang was when saying such ridiculous things. She was the exact opposite of who she expected to love, the exact opposite of who she would’ve been expected to marry, shameless qualities that shaped Yang into one of the most stunning individuals Weiss had ever known. Yang always had something to say, often ineloquently, but the warmth of her soul pouring from her voice like liquid gold dazzled Weiss to the point of fatuity.

“Don’t worry,” Weiss said through her haze, gripping Yang’s hand. “You don’t need to try that hard.”

She couldn’t recall exactly when her insults had softened with fondness—somewhere back in the blur of Beacon—but she did recall the first time they turned Yang’s frown into a smile, a type of smile no one ever tossed her way before, a type that simmered in her belly and slowly melted her frostbitten heart, and with Weiss’ goal-oriented attitude she had no problem enhancing her list with achieve that smile as often as possible.

And this time was no different, heart pattering in her ears from Yang’s openly enamoured stare, and it was all too easy losing herself in the genuineness she inspired.

#happy birthday Weiss I love you #bees schnees #rwby #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #monochrome #freezerburn #fanfiction #fanfic

[hiddenbeks]

alone, desire & failure for the oc u really want to talk abt :3

not-so-nice oc asks

ooh well since we're touching on the topic of failure i gotta talk abt ultimate failgirl fereldan turnip champion of kirkwall hottest apostate in town aka frida! also she's my only dragon age gal whose tag is still empty and this is a great opportunity to change that

alone: how does your oc deal with loneliness? have they ever been completely alone before? how do they act when there's no one around to see them?

frida deals with loneliness by seeking company! she's used to always having at least a few people around and she would prefer not to be alone with her own thoughts so. she'll hit up her friends and/or go to the hanged man for a fun evening to avoid this :) if there's no one around to see her it means her energy is totally depleted and that's when she's at her. rawest and most bare? she might cry for an hour in total solitude or just lie in bed staring at nothing or do something else she'd never let anyone else witness. she is so used to putting up a strong and fun and unshakeable front for others!! alone time is for letting all her emotions out unfiltered oof

desire: what's one thing your oc wants more than anything in the world? are they open with that desire? why or why not? what would they do to fulfill it?

she's a simple gal. she just wants to live her life freely and be happy and make sure her loved ones are happy...

...until she arrives in kirkwall and gets to know the kirkwall crew and starts hanging out and discussing mage freedom with anders and merrill and learns about the conditions in the gallows... as years go by she starts desiring. bigger things. it's not enough that she and her friends are free - she wants total liberation and while she doesn't go around the gallows yelling 'fuck meredith' she doesn't hide her views either. after becoming the champion she becomes much more open about this because what are they gonna do? arrest the beloved savior of kirkwall lol?? and if it takes blowing up a chantry and starting a revolt to achieve total liberation then so be it.

she's not actually involved in the blowing up of the chantry tho (beyond distracting elthina as you do in-game) bc anders keeps her in the dark but. at that point she would've helped if he'd asked. in fact she would've done it in his stead because just as anders says 'i didn't want it to be connected to you' or something along those lines frida would also have wanted to shield her friend at the cost of her own safety. because that's what she does. she needs therapy.

failure: what's your oc's greatest failure? have they been able to move past it? does anyone else know about it?

ok so when i call her failgirl i don't mean it in a 'fails at everything she does' way. she succeeds in many things! but all her achievements in kirkwall are overshadowed by her losses that she sees as failures on her part. most people don't see it that way because they don't know about her personal life, they just know she saved kirkwall! she fights for the mages! she's a hero of the common people whoo!! the companions of course know about most of her losses as they're right there to witness them and even if she doesn't open up about her troubles they Know she is tormented

but anyway uh. her greatest failure is basically not being able to do what she set out to do in the first place which was protecting her family! bethany dies when they're fleeing ferelden (she shouldn't have let her run off like that!), carver catches the taint and frida dooms him to a slow death as a grey warden (she should've told him to stay in the city!!) and then leandra is killed (she should've been more alert!!!). she blames aveline as well for the last one though. as is her right because holy shit aveline you're bad at your job! also frida is getting tired of internalizing it all so she starts taking her anger and exhaustion and disappointment out on others. mainly aveline. they have a weird can't-stand-her-ass-but-i-need-someone-to-fight-with kind of relationship. idk.

she also believes she failed as a big sister to carver by not bonding with him as much as she did with bethany when they were younger and like. she still struggles to understand him... see things from his point of view... they never get to have a true heart to heart about their Issues before she sends carver away to join the wardens and after that they barely see each other anymore and hhhhh

at first it feels like she'll never be able to move past her failures. she simply distracts herself from all the sorrow by keeping busy but as years go by she eventually... grows around it... there are still people to care about and causes to fight for and she is still needed and wanted and she slowly realizes that she needs to move on? and stay in the present and work for a better future. i'm starting to sound so sappy lmao but my point is!!!! she will eventually make peace with it all. even though it takes a long time. (she gets to have a heart to heart with carver too because i love these two and want healing for them!!)

#inbox #ch: frida #da2 is so tragic. sigh. i love it #also wow did i really write 4 paragraphs of text for that last one #forgive me i have can't write concisely disease and also can't stay on point disease 😔 #anyway. she really needs to chill. someone needs to grab her face n tell her to stop trying to be everyone's hero and savior all the time 😔 #oldest sibling complex amped up to eleven babey!! #anywayyyyy thanks for the ask red <333

[marengogo]

hi dunno if you had this question or not but do u think before jikook become a "thing" vmin and jihope messed around... cos if u ask other blogs they will beat around the bushes but aint nobody actually answering lol im saying this cos vmin are close as jihope hobi was his roomate tho (roomates) i didnt see jimin &hobi dynamic turn around like this until bv in malta or burn the stage..?

anyway it doesnt changr my opinion on jikook im just curious cos it looks like they prob messed around lol and

at some point i think rm had a crush on jimin too thats why sometimes jungkook had ?? a "problem with minimoni " monitoring jikook

Hello Anon,

Sure, let’s talk abou it.

No, I don’t think JM messed around with any other member in BTS before, during or after JK. Short answer; amongst other factors, one (not the main factor but  …) is it would take a person who actually thinks they are desired in such a manner to do so, and quite unfortunately, for the longest time, I do believe JM didn’t believe himself to be said person at all. As for the Long answer, let’s look at each pairing you mentioned, shall we?

Let’s start with giving some context to my thoughts: 

Not sure if you read any other of my posts, but I think 2015 was the year JK started “peacocking” so to say, at JM, and through ups and downs it took them 2017/2018 to actually enter a steady relationship and by steady I don’t mean they were in an open relationship prior to this. What I mean is that they both were trying to figure out things like, for example; what they actually were feeling for each other, or would them “being together” actually work, or could they really actually do this., etc, etc etc.  

Furthermore, I should add, that I believe JM “taunting” JK with requests of kisses and telling him he liked him and wanted to go out with him etc, as they already had a very good relationship off-camera (as proven by various interviews), was just an also quite naive approached mixing at an attempt to establish a connection with JK on camera, with feelings he still himself hadn’t quite properly acknowledged. In simple words: He was consciously kidding about feelings he subconsciously already had but never really took seriously. 

Last but not least, I’m team: JK made the actual first move, which is not to be confused with: he fell first, he fell harder, etc … whatever with all that BS. And yes, people are entitled with their own opinions, but yeah, I didn’t see none of that. I’m talking about moves. If you will, look at it as a chess game, at some point in 2015 JK impulsively/(frustratedly) moved a pawn at a game neither he or JM knew they were playing; and the “game” began. 

Ok … now that you have the pretext, let’s go back to our regularly scheduled program of the day: 

VMIN: We have a period between 2012 (when JM joined BH) and 2015 where JM supposedly would have had the time to be messing around with Tae. Because after 2015, JK’s not very well structured (lol) plan of action kept JM rather busy (added to the fact that JM was going through personal awakenings of his own). Now this particular friendship during and pre 2015 gave us pearls such as this:

JM and Tae have a very deep, unique and special friendship and  like every relationship in the world, context matters, but like every great relationship, theirs, goes beyond that (context). Their context was/is South Korea, being both of the same age bracket (‘95) they had a common ground on which they began to bond, as age is an important factor in SK, but then there was more. For example, they just so happened to fall into the catching up team. One (JM) arrived last in the group, and was playing catch up internally (with the members), the other had been there for a while, but was only revealed after debut, so he was playing catch up externally (with fans not knowing about him until debut). And please don’t think that one is harder than the other, particularly not on the scale of things they were in.  

And there were their personalities. What were the chances that two young men, so different in thoughts and actions could be so compatible in soul/Seoul? Tae standing up for JM at school, JM playing along with Tae’s acting passion, them allowing themselves to be vulnerable with each other. Making mistakes with each other. Taking the time to make it right with each other. We are never going to know how deep this connection goes between the two of them. And here is where you might think: “I’d want to give it a go romantically with such a connection!”. I’d want to as well, NGL,  if only I had realised it and if my preferences were also so inclined. 

But here’s what I think happened/ was(is) the situation:

1. Tae, out of all the members was/is the one member, who knew/knows exactly who he is. And I can’t assume people’s sexualities, but, in MY opinion,  from what I’ve seen, I feel like he is a very big ally, but straight (or at the very least queer-curious? Those that even exist?).  I think Tae is very secure in his skin and loves to test his limits constantly and not because it is fun to do, but because he can and it would possibly allow him to maybe gain something from doing so. Most likely, all the time spent being a secret member, also gave him the time to think about how he wanted to be perceived, which also eventually would have ended up affecting everything else positively or negatively. So when it came to JM, someone he started to feel really close to, he let his guard down, completely. So much so that sometimes he just would almost test him, or throw at him anything that he came across in his mind, just to see how far their relationship could go? And, even if at some point he did think to maybe try and give it a go romantically, the next point came up.

2. JM wasn’t up for it. Not in a mean way or dismissive way, not at all; you really got to care a lot about someone to end up fighting and being emotionally-drunk over fucking dumplings. Let that sink in. Another thing that needs to sink in is that JM does, and will do, what he feels and what he wants. Always (Ironically enough, so will Tae, another thing they have in common). At the time, JM was the last member to join, he was struggling with his identity, he was publicly struggling with JK (not irrelevant) and who knows what more. So his brain had to somehow work with processes of elimination to keep sane and in my opinion, if ever Tae made a move, it was shut down, because JM also needed friends. Friends are always needed. Friends are important, have them if you can. And I do think that Tae was friendzoned, early on, because he was a good friend at that. Tae was his ‘95 buddy, his “we are kinda going through the same shit” buddy, his let’s conquer the musical world together buddy. But all was very platonic, because, even though the subconscious may not be out there; it is there and JK was in it. 

JIHOPE: Jung Hoseok. The worlds’ brightest ray of light with a powerful little cloud hidden at the corner of his caring soul. In a way, just like JM a troubled soul (like every member really  … like everyone on this planet really!). But Hobi and JM had something else to bond over first and foremost: DANCE. That probably started the conversation with the two of them but then there was fashion, shopping, laughing at dumb stuff, the aching need to become the best version of oneself, the natural want to find and provide comfort to those who needed it the most. 

Hobi and JM connected on a nurturing level. One thing I feel strongly about, is that Hobi never had any sort of romantic thoughts towards any of the members in BTS and perhaps a part of JM picked up on that and allowed him to feel “secure”. Secure in the sense where he knew that every touch, every hug, every kiss (we are talking of friendly pecks) was out of caring love, and had no chance of being misinterpreted, ever. Reason why I think JM had singled out Hobi as the mother of the group at the very beginning, but now I do believe that Hobi is kinda like that caring brother, who would do anything to support his brothers.

Also, something that people seem to either not think about, or just really underestimate is that Hobi was spending quite a lot of time with JK as well. 3J get along, not only because they are good dancers. I’ve always felt that out of all the hyungs, Hobi was the one that truly treated JK like an actual little brother, allowing him to pester him, and not in the same way he did with Jin. Jin mentally also becomes a maknae (or even younger, lol) when he gets into it. Hobi just had that big brother vibe doting on a cute little brother, something that JM has tried as well, but was never quite like Hobi.

Another thing that Hobi does a lot is observe, he is a quick learner, he observes and quickly puts in practice. I can guarantee you there was a lot of that while he was hanging out with Jikook and part of me thinks that at some point, he observed and put in practice by questioning JM. Hobi has this way of nonchalantly bringing up pertaining/delicate points in any situation, without making a big deal out of it. This might have eventually made him become someone who JM could confide in and talk to about things he didn’t necessarily know how to with others.

And last ..

JK and MINIMONI: I’ve actually quite recently written about Minimoni, so please do read this if you would → CORONA BOREALIS - 1: The Emphat & The Intellectual - MiniMoni. Upon reading that (if you do) you’ll see why I think, neither ever had feelings for each other. So, no Joon never had a crush on JM. Now because of another very long ask (sent to me now an eternity ago), I just so happen to have to write about NamKook, so look out for it, it’s going to be called → CORONA BOREALIS - 2: WonderBoy & The Wanderer - NamKook, should be coming out pretty soon. 

But to answer your question, I don’t think JK has ever had a problem with RM monitoring them (neither did JM), I think he’d probably understand that Namjoon would have no other choice but to do so on occasion, particularly if things seemed like they were getting out of hand. If anything, at the very beginning JK has had moments in which he seemed uncomfortable with MiniMoni’s interactions, which was probably caused by unintelligible fears and projections, (which were directed at JM rather than RM) and as humans who have lived on this planet we all know a little bit about this don’t we? … But JK’s possible insecurities are a whole other story, isn’t it?

Currently, I think JK appreciates Namjoon’s presence more than we know, and because he knows him, and knows JM, he most likely understands why and on what level MiniMoni connect. I think that JK has been on a mission, for a while now, to have RM see him as a capable grown ass man, he’d like for the man he admires to look at him and think “yeah, you really do got this, don’t you?” (not that I don’t think Namjoon doesn't already think this of JK), but I also believe that deep down JK just needs someone to keep looking up to and not someone he has to beat, if it makes sense? But I’ll better discuss this in the NamKook post I’m writing.

Well, not sure that I’ve answered your questions but I sure did express my opinions in this long-ass post haven’t I? MY BAD.

Always very respectfully your 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo. 

#ASKS #Jikook #VMin #Jihope #MiniMoni #All Platonic Y'all

[espritbleutee]

i’m not sure this… whatever it is… will ever reach the right person, but i feel the urge to write it down. i’ve been overthinking a lot, as always; but, surprisingly, an epiphany hit me like a truck and helped me understand something that i wasn’t definitely aware of, until now.

alright, let me clarify the whole thing. unconsciously, since i was 14, i’ve always looked for a specific kind of love: the one that connects two people who apparently are the opposites, who find themselves engaged in an everlasting chase to reach the other one. a complicated love, but passionate and strong enough to make me forget about all the obstacles. in short, a love that looked like the legend of the sun and the moon and their “impossible” relationship.

i’ve always identified myself in the moon for some reason; i love the mystery that dwells in her: there’s some parts of her we don’t know; i love the way she shines through the obscurity of this world, of this universe, of our lives; i love that she goes through phases: sometimes she’s full, sometimes you can only see a small slice, and yet she’s beautiful; i love her existing mainly at night, but, sometimes, she pops up during the day, to assert and remind her presence. i feel like this, and i don’t even know how to explain it better. i see myself as the moon, and i love the moon (but i don’t love myself… i’m still trying, tho, but that’s another story).

what is this premise for? to make understand that i, being the moon, have always looked for my sun: a person who could make me shine, but can also shine on their own; a sort of ray of sunshine for me, a guide through the darkness; a different energy, with different points of view and different experiences. what can i say? at this point, i think i’ve found it, my sun. but… im sorry, i’m not here to talk about this.

a few years ago, when i was looking for my sun, i came across you and i thought i had found it, but i was wrong. i tried to “apply” this metaphor to you, but you’ve never been my sun. i think i understood it right after, but only now i’m finally aware of the reason why you were not it. you’ve never been my sun, because you were my star. we wore the same soul, shared the same dreams, two crossing threads that got too tangled up until they broke. actually, i’ll be more specific. when you look at the night sky, nearby the moon, what do you see? i’ll tell you: the north star, i.e the brightest star that catches your glance just like the moon does. their companionship lasts forever, because they exist in the exact same moment. and just like the north star shares her night sky with the moon, you and i share the same pain, the same way of thinking, the same love language. i know that now: we are the same person, developed in a different way and in two different bodies.

so… that’s right, you could’ve never been my sun, because you were my north star. and i think my metaphor it’s just a different variant of the definition of twin flames.

you know, i feel relieved now: i’ve always felt guilty about mistaking you for my sun and then leaving you behind when i realized you weren’t (i know it’s more complicated than this, but still). but… what if a north star was more suitable to me than a sun, and, at that time, i just wasn’t ready or mature enough to understand it?

i’m not sure this… whatever it is… will ever reach the right person, but i hope it does, because you need to know that i’m sorry and that you weren’t wrong for me, like i’ve possibly made you believe. i was an unstable growing plant who craved more and more water, and you gave it to me just because you wanted to make me happy, but it was too much and i drowned in it. i thought i was ready, but i was not and you were.

i’ve never believed in the “right person, wrong time” theory. i’ve always thought that if you desire something for real you can make it happen. but, now that i’m a grown ass plant (or almost lol) i can see the world in a different way, i can analyze my inner self and see how much i’ve changed, how much i’ve matured, and how stupidly i behaved. i was still unripe and i wasn’t aware of it.

i’m not sure this… whatever it is… will ever reach the right person, but i know all these words will be jealously and secretly kept under the careful gaze of the moon and the north star, that soon after hearing them looked at each other and smiled, because our story is theirs, too.

#sun #moon #sun and moon #love #star #north star #overthinking #moon and stars #relationship #letter #stars #Youtube #taylor swift #champagne problems #ts #taylors version

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Does Ingo magic Ever get UNblocked? Mayeb its an emergency and He overwhems the block trying to use it so hard bc Someone is in danger(maybe dying and he can heal them) or maybe its undone (Which I say Irida should have done the moment they gained his trust which makes me think that maybe its not very simple easy or possible)

The broken bond is gut-wrenching I cant stand it, maybe instead being in Hisui means hes too far to SUMMON Chandelure but Its still there,just faint and faded. A soul bond is a soul bond its not 'till death do them part' its 'Where you go I will follow' , a thing that goes beyond death which does lend it toward being more an ace only type of deal. The ONLY reason that Emmet knows Ingo is alive is that Chandelure is still there. Its empathetic tho so maybe pain or distress can filter through the bond as strained as it is which Does Not Reasure Emmet.

WELL, i mean i can't very well say he has this crazy powerful magic and then not ever let him use it, can i lol. the question is just... how.

though re: irida, i think it's also not so much a lack of trust as just like. i mean like i said before, it feels like playing catch with high explosives. like, ingo doesn't even remember where he learned light magic, what if he tries to use it one time and screws up and something goes horribly wrong?? what's the guarantee he can control it perfectly every time? that his instinctive memory of how to use it is guaranteed to be right? it just feels safer for everyone to not even try. plus it's not like he's ever complained about it so he must not mind, right? ...right?

i do love the idea that he can undo it himself tho and just... hasn't yet out of courtesy. i mean, thinking about it, someone must have been around to soulbond them with their aces the first time, and if light is another primal force on the level of space/time/sky, maybe they can just make that tap themselves. and i don't remember if i've really discussed this before but reshiram/zekrom are deeply humanistic gods, so it's entirely possible that unlike others, an accomplished light mage doesn't even need a divine object to act as a conduit. light magic is already so responsive to human desire. so ingo's left it as it is because irida's clearly concerned about it, but then he has very good reason to use magic and he just. rewrites his own personal truth to not include it, like it's nbd. and irida's like (suddenly even more terrified of him) YOU COULD DO THAT THIS WHOLE TIME??

though funny as that mental image is if he's just forcibly overpowering it like you described, i also feel like that would be very taxing. especially if he's also interfering with or working around his soulbond with sneasler (or whatever her name is in this world). like he succeeds in whatever healing magic he needed to do, and then passes out immediately afterwards. and now whoever was dying isn't anymore but he might be, they can't immediately tell, and everyone's got a lot of questions that apparently only irida can answer

...another option, if the original soulbond with chandelure isn't broken (maybe just like, repressed or very faint) is that in his moment of panic, it's actually chandelure it self (or emmet, through chandelure?) that reaches out through the soul link and undoes the block. and it's like, the first approximation of proper contact they've had with him since he disappeared, and their only new information from it is that someone not only fucked with chandelure's soul link but completely locked his magic, what the fuck are they doing to him?? whoever's doing it is pissed the hell off but the link isn't very stable so they really only have time to unlock it and for ingo to get a vibe that someone somewhere is Very Angry, and then it's gone and the link is dead again and he's got bigger problems.

[ Anonymous: I think I need to clarify when I said "Where u Go I will follow" bc its. Late and I wasn't quite thinking all my thoughts onto the page. Bonded dont die the moment thir other does. Its just like a broken heart that bleeds for them. Chandelure however Is a ggost and probably immediately follow just by nature of being ghostly. most creatures DO die of a broken heart bc Bonded are very close Partners. Not all. Some pick up the pieces and forge on but their is a grief to them for the rest of days. ]

i do think that if the bond is there, it should be so faint as to be almost imperceptible bc otherwise it gives too much away/leaves too much of an open lead re: ingo and his past, and especially considering the mechanics of adding more than one soulbond might interfere with his being a warden. unless it's so dim and repressed that irida didn't even notice it at the time. though thinking of it, that could be a potential answer to "why is ingo joining this party:" he's trying to pursue this vague lead as to his past, and figures traveling with them is as good a way to do it as any.

#the nemesis speaks #the nemesis answers #anonymous #ley lines au

[primalspice]

Ratbro - 🖊️, 🩹, 💤, , 💯, 🔺, 🐷, 💔, 💜, 🥪, 🤔, 🧐,

🫡

🖊️ — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

He doesnt have any but he wants one that says FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT FUCKING RESUSCITATE

🩹 — does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

for a guy who got revived from being esploded and then locked in a warehouse for 30 years hes doing pretty ok but he's quite ptsd'd and brain damaged and chronic pain'd. him and his bestie can bond over shared morphine ^w^

💤 — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits?

its really a mixed bag LOL generally he sleeps lightly and disturbedly. a little more scheduled at the fresk facility (not his choice) but a little less horribly overall once hes with faust.

💯 — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Details irt his dying and undying: he was like esploded and shot because he happened to join the military just before the once-every-20-years-severe-civil-unrest. and he died but the soon-to-be-defunct Citizens Longevity Project stitched his sorry ass back up and life supported him and tried to see wtf else would work Experimentally. it was Painful and Traumatizing for him. The project got defunded like a year or two after they realived him but long story short the founder coordinated things to where he and the others would pretty much have to just relocate but still stay in Custody. It was already pretty horrific but the quality of care obviously went steeply downhill LOL the only good part was that they didnt really bring in anyone new to get experimented upon.

2. Unlike harvey he actually graduated highschool before joining the military, but honestly it probably woulda been better for him to go earlier since he kinda sucked at school LOL. part two: i regret to inform that altho he was mainly a soldier/body to get shot at, his position during peacetime was pretty much just a junior cop.

3. He's pretty unimpressed by Faust's fancy coffee-making skills and doesnt really like coffee in the first place, but anything that isnt Facility Slop is a treat to him so he drinks it anyway.

🔺 — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

He still remembers how to shoot *smiles* thats pretty much all tho, he'd have been a decent fighter in his youth despite his tall scrawnyness but those days are long gone. he sure can try tho.

🐷 — what is your oc's favorite animal?

I don't think he's ever really had pets or anything, but he'd likely enjoy a dog. i say this insultingly.

💔 — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Im gonna like.....not bring his Circumstances into it so i'll just focus on his base personality LOL. he's a Sheeple for lack of better words 😔 severely. Kinda in the same vein, he's quite approval-seeking. And i think he also suffers from harvey's disease in that he acts very passive and clueless while participating in (usually indirect) violence. altho i suppose he paid for that last one pretty quickly seeing how his bout in the military ended LOL.

💜 — what is your oc's ancestry/genetic background?

Apart from several generations of region zeroites, i think his and harvey's ancestors are majorly like. german/british medwestern americans.

🥪 — what does your oc's typical lunch look like? do they usually eat lunch?

Faust gives him his unwanted scraps like he's a dog. He gets his own lunch when theyre living together too tho, ofc. hes a VIP. He has whatever Faust is having and its a LUXURY compared to the like. cheese sandwiches and slop he's been served at the freak facility.

🤔 — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

He's often very confused or volatile Because he is confused because he was like literally reborn today and he can't catch a break. He has a staring problem.

🧐 — is your oc more logical or emotional?

He's guided by his desire to Keep The Peace, and he usually sees that as doing what he's told. I think its an emotional response. It's hard for him to follow much logic even if he wanted to nowadays, he's only able to operate in the Non-Warehouse World off of what the extremely biased other in his life have told him since he's been out.

#ask game #raymond

[quenthel]

💔🛑🔞???? omg im so sorry i didnt see that u were doing these

Hii Ella hiii <3

💔: any hated npcs?

uhhh honestly even the annoying ones I have a fondness for bc they are like... interestingly mean or it makes sense for them etc etc what makes me hate characters if they are stupidly written and with THAT I really hate the battlebliss guy (Irmangaleth or whatever his name is) and the aasimar guy in the abyss he can eat a dick. Also my god the trickster king guy and Socothbenoth i hate those guys

🛑: least favourite quest, or a quest you refuse to complete?

Blackwater and the Fallout reference quest. They are both boring/fustrating AND give no loot at the end. For non-backer content that one puzzle w the treant lost lands or whatever that place is called and the heart of mystery shit bc its too long... cool story beat and we learn more abt my friend Storyteller but experiencing it once was enough lol

🔞: do you have any nsfw headcanons, either for ocs or canon characters?

oh my god i have some... under the cut (also i have a lot to ramble abt sfdgfsdhf)

Ok first abt my ocs:

Bell has a lot of negative connotations w intimacy in general bc of the cult he was in and also towards sex since most of his sexual partners in the cult did die in childbirth (the whole glippothspawn deal). So he is almost scared to have sex with people and tries to live in a way where he does not do it a lot while also struggling with his own desires that he cant properly communicate or cultivate because intimacy is just too wrapped in for him in sex and death (like he finds casual hugs strange etc, very touch starved and isolated). He was also forced a lot into a more dominant role during that time and during the Cam romance he was forced into that again and he did it but he simply just does NOT enjoy that sort of stuff at all but he still needs an outlet etc. Thats why his romance and sexual life with Nocticula works better bc she is the one holding the reins and he cant possibly hurt her bc she is powerful and strong and his equal and likeness etc.

Cass is similar since she was also isolated and affection starved as a child but she was also trained to use intimacy and sexuality as a weapon almost to keep herself in the good graces of her superiors (she was in a s/m "relationship" with some priestesses of Asmodeus who were her employers). She does enjoy exploring that power dynamic tho but she has a hard time being intimate and soft without bringing sex into it so her love w Wendu starts with both of them almost hate fucking eachother a lot lol. Then she opens up and learns to be soft and teaches Wendu along the way and they start to care about each other more deeply its very nice.

Marci is just ig very sexful (high sex drive) and while she is generally very well composed and stable that can cause issues with her. She probably has a lot of casual sex. Like I was thinking abt her having sex w Sister Kerismei (the woman from Woljif's quest), one of her army generals (the elf lady), and having a few lovers in Drezen too. She and Arue can bond over that too while she is in horny jail.

Masha is also pretty horny and she has sex with people before feeding on them (i know...). I had an idea for a scene where Lann catches her doing it and he is so crushed bc the girl he likes is fucking other ppl and eating them but they talk it out. She also probably gets it down a bit w Cam (her bicurios moment) and they drink blood together (weirdo besties for like 2 seconds) before Masha offs her (by sucking her dry) in the Abyss (sorry Cam).

Tessa is generally very chaste and she is more focused on the intimacy sex provides. Not the type of person who feels desire a lot. Also she has some baggage after being a Nocticula worshipper around sex bc she used her beauty and sex appeal a lot to hurt others and she prefers having relationships that are no longer centered around that.

Duncan is just chill. He has no isses anymore, he had many long term relationships in his time. He is like 40 also and he had a wild time being a teen/young adult around sexuality but its like mostly behind him. Like in the relationship w Daeran he is clearly the more well composed and at peace one so Daeran is just going trough it trying to untagle the mess of his emotions while Duncan is just there supporting him, hanging out and smoking weed lmfao.

For canon characters I mostly have thoughts of Woljif, Lann, Wendu and Daeran... less nsfw headcanonc and more of an interpretation of their characters bc i am insane

Like Daeran very clearly cant separate affection and being horny so he always tries to sleep with people he cares about and is attracted to thats why he goes so hard for the commander lmao. He is probably a good lover tho but he has issues. Lann is probably very worried about everything and lets his insecurities show and is generally stiff in those situations so its very awkward. But once he gets over that he has a fucking job to do. Wendu cant separate pain and pleasure properly AND she probably has that specific issue where she does not let herself want casual intimacy and soft affection bc she convinces herself tht she does not need it so she is all sexhorny instead and tries to channel her frustration into that. She is also probably very unhealthy in the S/M relationship too like type of sub who wont rly talk abt boundaries or safewords or shit which causes issues. True love Wendu however learns that those are important and gets better at communication so there is more aftercare.

OK with Woljif... Its less about his sexual habits but his connection towards sexuality ig bc he gets no action very clearly. He is bisexual tho but he is also very insecure and never have been loved. He kind of strikes me as a Denji Chainsawman type character who wants to be loved and cared for but he is also a horny young adult (instead of being a teen like Denji) so he probably conceptualizes those wishes as "omg i need to have sex" instead of him needing love and care yk.

#asks #the sex things are LONG... sorry #pathfinder

[the-blind-geisha]

holy eff, that was 2 years ago? im so sorry, im absolutely unaware of the passage of time XD but yep! that's me! it wasn't very hard to find you tbh, i went to overlord tag one day and i found your art. this time i simply searched for demiurge and was pleasantly surprised that you changed your blog again (more like returned to your old one but yeah). don't worry tho, no need to hide from me! im a good anon, and a person you knew quite good (and also a person who, i think, triggered you once? with some depressing themes. im so deeply sorry for that) glad to hear you have everything under control now! but im more glad that you're enjoying yourself and grow the fandom. overlord is really amazing, both anime and light novel (that's it, if i ever decide to watch the new season or catch up with the novel). you did a very fine choice, dear, to get into it! (and, especially, to get into demiurge hehe) don't mention it truly! i've been wondering for a few weeks now how you're doing and all. and i'm really, really happy to see you're enjoying yourself and having fun.

I also wanted to say that, uh, i know how ac fandom treated you and please take no offence, but, i really appreciate that you didn't delete the responds to people's asks or the gifts that are ac themed. i know it wasn't an easy choice, and i really appreciate it. it sounds stupid but it means a lot as it brought some pleasant memories. so, yeah, thanks for that! <3 (also: your emmett is forever in our hearts) i hope you won't mind me being here from time to time (and not like, appearing after 2 years XD). you were always so lovely to talk to! you still are, of course, but yeah! lovely to talk to and you're lovely too! as always <3 - P

LOL to be fair, I think the pandemic really threw us all for a loop. X”D Heck, it being 2022 hasn't really come to my realization yet. I still keep thinking 2020 was just last year.

Haha, that is very fair. ♥ If you were able to hunt through the Demiurge tag, that is indeed where I kinda live now. ♥ Though I am working more and more on drifting my version of him out of the fandom and into my original works. But we'll see! I do love the character a lot!

Oof, I gotta be honest, anon. My memory got a bit scattered no thanks to anemia causing me a bit of brain fog/damage. So if you did anything that triggered me, it's quite alright. ♥ I've obviously gone past whatever may have happened now, and it is all water under the bridge as they say.

I adore Overlord, but my poor Albedo and Demiurge... I wish they were given more time to develop. ;~; They are my treasures next to Yuri Alpha. ♥ But I do hope you enjoy the new season! I love the animation has really been upped in quality! I'm still eagerly waiting for the movie!

Thank you! I have a lovely group of readers and friends who support me like yourself, and I appreciate every single one of them. I especially love the readers who have been with me since the AC days. The fact you guys will still follow me from one thing to the next is sweet, and I am always happy to see reoccurring names pop up now and again!

I will be honest, hon, in that I did delete a few things in my desire to heal away from the fandom years back, but not all of it is gone, no. ♥ The Fall is still on AO3, I just removed my name from it, and the Prostitute Series, while removed from AO3, is still on here too. I know those were the main stories people would have been upset to be removed from the net completely. I do still have the others on my hard drive (like certain love letters and The Dove Effect, Daddy Dearest, etc), but I just don't feel comfortable releasing them again to the public. Maybe one day. ♥

Aww, thank you! I actually did plan on bringing Emmett back into a Victorian setting but away from AC: S. ♥ I had a werewolf story in London kinda idea that I wanted him to be apart of, so he will return just—in a new way and away from Jacob being his dad. (He's gonna have an adopted dad/mentor instead.)

Awww, I adore when folks drop in to say hi every now and again! I still get people DMing me saying 'thank you for writing this super old fic from 2005' ever so often, and it's great! I hope people never think it's weird or annoying to talk to me about old times or just say hello. I promise, it's okay to do so. ♥

It's kind of why I never really ever change my name or at least, try not to. ♥ I want it to be easier for folks to find me.

It's always great to hear from you, anon! ♥

#and soon 2023 will be here... lol #who's ready for that? #i know i'm not X"D #thanks again hon! #mod answers #anon #anon: P

[delunellenoir]

How's life, Amaya?

Holla, it's been a while since you went away. How's life up there ? Hope you are happy there. Since you've been gone, life change so fast. Lemme tell you a bit, hun.

Before that, lemme say that life has struck me hard. 2022 was the hardest yet the foolish years for me. I've got my lesson at this year. Lemme tell you about my misery first .....

On 2022, I've had trapped with someone that has a NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) and he caused me get a huge problem on my work. And that problem are still haunted me until now. How about him ? Yup, he run away, he was transferred to another area, leaving big problems unresolved. And my bonus was also scorched by him. And because all of his love bombing and those toxic cycle, it left a very lasting effect and trauma on me. Well, сука блять :)

Also on 2nd quarter of 2023, I finally realized that all my exes are scumbag. Really, sometimes when I immersed in daydreams, I wonder why I force my feeling to those who have never seen me at all, not even a inch. And guess what ? They've already married now with their "crush" this year. And my mom already told me about them looong long time ago. And ... yeah, regret always comes last, right?

I used to ask them when we were together. I asked them, "Hun, if we are no longer together, or If your girlfriend are not me, do you have an imagination who will you take on date?". Surprisingly (but now I'm not surprised anymore), they can answer it fluently like "To be honest, I have a crush on *her name*. But don't take it too serious hun. I have you tho." And I even got an answer from one of my ex when we are got a fight after I threw that question and he answer it confidently. "I talked to her about our problem, and she was soo wise than you. I am getting confused because our problem seems only met a dead end. She comforts me." . Dang, such a jerk. My reaction at that time ? "Well, just married her already. You both fit each other". And it happened *lol. Yup, I am that pathetic.

But, there will always be good things after miseries , right? I also will tell you, mon amour.

I met many wonderful person with a low-profile and cool person. Like last time I met Asian Paint's Country Head for Indonesia, Mrs. AK. My impression about her ? She's energic, full of confidence, smart yet very humble. And one of my regret after met her is, why was I able to talk to her only at the last minute. I doubt too much about grammar. And from this time, I think I will re-learn and improve my English again, since the last time I spoke English was when I was in semester 2 on college (at that time my GPA on English were 3,96. Can you believe that ? ).

Alhamdulillah, God replaced all my difficulties and sadness with ease in terms of work. It's okay that my love story is depressing, but in terms of career and finance, God gave me an extraordinary gift. God makes it easy for all my work and desires, even trivial wishes.

Maybe you wonder, am I took action with all my sadness and frustration ?

Yep, I was.

I used to frequently use and abuse over-dose drugs, and you know what? Now I'm afraid to self-medicate, even when I catch a cold. Because the side effect that I got make me powerless.

So, one day I tried a hypnotherapy. Hope to release my catharsis.

And you know what ?

it makes me feel even worse than before.

Damn.

So in the end, I decided to release all of my feeling, try to accept everything that happened and let it go.

I think it's the best medicine --- in my opinion --- when compared with spend millions of rupiah to go to a psychiatrist and therapist. Right ?

I think that's all my updates about life.

Honestly, I really really miss you. Looks like I still can't follow you there, huh? God knows "they" still need me, I guess.

Wait for me a little longer, okay?

"Tu me manques, mon amour."

gros bisous,

delunellenoir ♥