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#still have 13 days before i can go back to work and live life. RIP
littlejuicebox · 3 months
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My Sun, My Moon
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Pairing: Spawn Astarion x GN!Reader/Tav Summary/Setting: 6 months post BG3 / Part 2 to my other fic Astarion talks in his sleep. Rating/Warnings: PG-13 / In game spoilers / Alludes to sexual encounters / Mentions of past trauma etc / Pretty much all fluff / It’s so sweet it’s going to rot your teeth Word Count: 2.3K Notes: This is 5/5 Days of "Star-mas!"
*takes a bow* Happy Holidays! Hope you all enjoyed!
I'm also entering this into the #BG3HolidayFluffle23 challenge under the prompt "twinkling lights."
Click here to see my master list.
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After Astarion’s sleep-talking gave away his little secret, you’d spent nearly every waking moment anticipating the rogue’s proposal. You were horribly, terribly wrong every time, of course. You began to think that perhaps your original assumptions were right, and that an engagement would come much later on. Maybe he wasn’t quite ready. Maybe he was just planning and thinking about the future… the frustratingly distant future. He’d ask the question when he was ready, you reasoned; in his own time and on his own terms. You could respect that.
But then, on the eve of the Netherbrain Battle’s six month anniversary, you came home to a dinner that Astarion had cooked (almost) entirely himself. Candles were lit, table settings were placed, and your lover chose an expensive wine pairing for the meal. His steak was, of course, entirely raw while yours was seasoned and cooked to perfection. You were certain you had Shadowheart to thank for your half of the meal, but you’d complimented your lover and all his efforts, nonetheless. At the end of dinner, you were quite confident that this would be the moment you’d been waiting weeks for.
“I have something to say.” Astarion murmured, lithe fingers rubbing circles on the back of your hand as he clasped it in his own.
You practically felt your soul leave your body in that moment. Oh gods, you knew what your answer would be, you knew this was coming, and yet here it was, and you were still wholly unprepared. You barely fumbled out a, “Y-yes, my love? What is it?”
“I read your mail.” Astarion responded, his eyes flooding full of guilt at the confession. He expelled a small sigh, flicking his gaze up at the ceiling and then back down to you. “Darling, I know we have been discussing this for months, but I really don’t think we should go to the Underdark. You’re getting so many outstanding offers that require you to remain in the city. You’re the hero of Baldur’s Gate, for god’s sakes. I know you want me to be safe from the sun… but I can’t, in good conscience, do that to you and rip you away from so many wonderful opportunities.”
“O-oh…” Your chest deflates and you catch yourself frowning for just a moment. Astarion’s brow furrows as he incorrectly interprets the cause of your sudden mood shift to be the current conversation and not the crushing disappointment you were trying to shove aside. You quickly try to move into a more neutral expression, but the rogue is already jumping into another worried explanation.
“Darling... Please hear me. I love you more than anything, and I know you better than anyone. You will not be truly happy there, of that much I am absolutely certain. These offers you’re receiving will give you multiple avenues to build the life you want…. the life we want. Imagine the good you could do with that level of influence, my love! Let me help you; I can review contracts, negotiate deals… whatever you need to ensure your success. Do not throw away so much potential on my account. I simply couldn’t live with myself if you did.”
He was right, of course. The only thing you wanted almost as much as you wanted Astarion was to continue the good work you two had been doing for Baldur’s Gate.
You sigh and nod your head, squeezing his hand gently. “You’re right, my love. I suppose it would be silly for both of us to throw away so much opportunity.”
Astarion beamed at your response before leaning over the table to plant a kiss on your lips. You smiled at the rogue when he pulled away to look at you with adoring crimson eyes. Perhaps it hadn’t been the conversation you were hoping for, but it had been a good and much needed one, nonetheless.
-----
Tonight, you and Astarion decided to take a stroll around the city. You were following the vampire’s lead, ambling around the streets as he pointed out more than a few of his old haunts. He revealed some of the difficult moments in his past as you two meandered about… more than one of the tales nearly made you cry with an overwhelm of sympathy for your lover. But you held back, knowing the elf hated eyes full of pity almost as much as he’d hated Cazador.
You noted that Astarion seemed to look back on his experience with more acceptance now. You knew, of course, that there were likely an infinite number of stories he had not yet revealed to you and perhaps never would. But you were still happy to see a bit of lightness in him as he spoke his truth. He hadn’t appeared to have one of his episodes on the entire walk, and as you pondered this, you also realized his night terrors had only occurred a handful of times this month. Such an improvement to what had been an almost daily incidence when you two originally moved in together.
Before long, you and your love arrived at the docks, where just over six months ago you’d felt as if you’d been stabbed in the gut as you watched the rays of sunlight scorch the vampire until he was forced to run for cover. But now, you two stood there hand in hand, resting in a pocket of comfortable silence. Both of you were admiring the twinkling starlight, full moon, and dark, mysterious expanse of the sea.
“The stars were so much more beautiful in the wilds… don’t you think, my sweet?” Astarion asks, his eyes filled with wistfulness as he ponders the sky.
You utter a little hum of agreement as your mind flashes to the first night in camp, when you caught Astarion reclined on his bedroll, stargazing. You turned your head to look at the rogue and remind him of the memory, but found he disappeared from your line of sight. Your vision wanders down and there he is, bent on one knee.
Oh this had to be the moment. Just when you were about to shout yes before the rogue even had a moment to say anything, Astarion looks up and smiles, a small pouch of gold coins in his hand. “Look! I suppose it’s our lucky day, darling. Their loss is our gain, would— are you alright, Tav? You’ve got this strange look on your face.”
Gods, not again. You feel your face flush with embarrassment. In your excitement and overwhelm, you’d almost ruined everything and let Astarion know that you knew his little secret. You made the decision then and there that this would be the last time you anticipated his proposal; let it happen when it’s meant to happen. You were done playing the guessing game. You couldn’t ruin everything with your big fat mouth.
You nod your head slightly before turning to look back at the stars once more, taking a deep breath and hoping to settle yourself.
“Yes, my love. I suppose I’m just thrilled by the beauty of the stars and the full moon, tonight. And by your beauty, of course.”
The rogue stands up, tucking the small sachet in his pocket. He smiles and places a soft, loving peck on the apple of your cheek before wrapping his arm around your waist. The two of you look up at the stars once more, and you spend a few moments pointing out some constellations in the sky. Stargazing had been one of the first things you two bonded over in camp.
Astarion is watching you with devoted interest as you ramble on about the planets and the mythological creatures represented by the patterns in the stars. Finally, there is a small lapse in conversation, and you want to take the opportunity to kiss him, but when you turn, the vampire is once again out of your sight line.
When you look down this time, Astarion is looking up at you, holding a velvet box in shaking hands.
“Tav—" He manages to choke out, but then his eyes fill with tears, and he stops to blink them away, chuckling softly at himself. You immediately come to kneel in front of your love, hands pressed to either side of his face, silently urging him to continue.
The vampire inhales shakily, suddenly quite overwhelmed by the extreme vulnerability he knows he’s about to lay before you. But the softness of your hands on his face grounds him in the moment and he smiles, admiring the look of utter adoration in your eyes.
A couple of tears fall over the edge of his lash line, and you immediately swipe them away with your shaking thumb. Another chuckle escapes the silver-haired elf, and he shakes his head in disbelief.
“My love… I’ve rehearsed this for weeks. I’ve said it all out loud more than a thousand times, I’m sure. I’ve spent almost every opportunity in your absence practicing this. One time I even had Shadowheart pretend to be you while I rehearsed my grand speech. But now that we are here… I’ve nearly forgotten everything I wanted to say.”
You move forward to press a kiss to Astarion’s lips, your hands still shaking as you run your thumb over his cheekbone. “It’s okay, my Star. Please continue, when you’re ready… rehearsed or from the heart… I want to hear it all the same.”
Astarion nods just a fraction and inhales. The shaking hand that is not holding the ring box comes to lay atop your own hand resting on his face. Your love slowly, absently runs his thumb along the back of your palm as he gathers his thoughts. He stares into your eyes with so much love that you almost kiss him again but hold yourself back to allow him to continue.
Astarion exhales a shuddering breath and then continues in a reverent tone, as if he’s whispering a prayer, “My darling. I have lived long life. Much of it was a sad and hopeless one. When we were walking through the city, I pointed out several places where I’d encountered horrible things. Many of those things are still hard to talk about… some of it, I don’t know that I will ever be able to.”
You are crying now, from the overwhelming blend of sympathy for your little Star and palpable feeling of love in this beautiful moment. Tears begin coursing thin streams down your cheeks. Astarion wipes away the tears as they fall, though his lips start trembling from your display of emotion.
“B-but what I do know is that… in many of the places I pointed out, there are also memories of us. Of our friends. Of the time we spent together before saving the city and of the six months we’ve spent here after that. Little by little, we are taking places that only held horrible memories for me and turning them into places that hold feelings of hope and happiness.
I guess what I’m saying is that… these past six months have been the counterweight to two hundred years of misery. And I do not think I deserve you, but I cannot imagine my life without you. You are everywhere I go, everywhere I look, and every happy memory I hold in my heart. If you’ll have me… I would like to spend the rest of our lives, however long they may be, turning this city into a place of hope for us and for the people we hold dear.”
Astarion opens the box, and you gasp in true awe as he reveals possibly the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. At the center is a beautiful moonstone, emitting an ethereal glow that shines brilliantly in the darkness of the pier. The setting is gold, and an intricate sunburst pattern made in smaller gems surrounds the center stone.
“Standing on the dock that day, after that long battle… I had the thought that my life was ruined when I realized I could no longer stand in the sun. I thought I might never know true happiness again. But it turns out, that was the moment my new life with you began… and you’ve opened the door to more happiness than I could’ve ever imagined for myself.
Even if I never see the sun again, I have made my peace. I would make the choices I made to be here with you, on this dock, in this moment, again and again in every lifetime. You are my sun and my moon. And my darling, it would be my honor to be your Star for the rest of time. Tav… will you marry me?”
As soon as the question comes out of your lover’s lips, you instantly push forward to crash into Astarion, enveloping the elf in an emotional kiss. You both topple over from the sheer force of your ardor, and as you do, the vampire deftly snaps the ring box closed to protect it from spilling out onto the dock.
When you finally break away, panting heavily, both your faces are thoroughly flushed with excitement. The vampire looks up at you, scarlet eyes filled with absolute devotion. You giggle and press one more soft kiss to the rouge before taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss to his knuckle. “Yes, Astarion. Nothing in this life would make me happier than to share it with you.”
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Later that evening, the two of you are naked in bed after several rounds of vigorous celebration. You’re admiring your ring, which is still faintly glowing in the semi-darkness of your bedchambers. Astarion takes your hand and presses his lips to the ring with a small smile; his scarlet eyes closely examine the gem.
“I don’t know how it works… you would have to ask Gale. But the center stone glows when I think of you, you know.”
You blink, moving to touch the gemstone in the middle of the ring with curiosity. “But it hasn’t stopped glowing since we’ve been on the docks.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we’ve been on the docks.” Astarion replies simply, moving his hand to stroke your cheek as a gentle, good-natured laugh escapes his mouth, “Perhaps now you’ll have some insight into how often my thoughts revolve around you, my sweet.”
You feel your eyes welling with tears again. Damn this man and his beautiful heart… he truly never misses a detail when it comes to you. You move forward to pull his lips into another loving kiss, and when you break away this time, a thought crosses your mind.
“Astarion… did you really find that bag of coins on the dock?”
Your lover grins mischievously, his crimson eyes crinkling at the corners as he grabs your ring-clad hand and kisses it once more.
“No, my sweet. But I had to throw you off. Shadowheart told me about my mishap. I wanted to surprise you… but you know me far too well and you’ve never been easily fooled… and the sleepy confession didn’t help things at all. I just figured that you would never anticipate that I’d drop down on one knee twice in a row.”
Astarion knew you just as well as you knew him… and he had been right. He’d fooled you. You roll your eyes and chuckle as the rogue moves closer to you, nuzzling into the side of your neck where fresh fang marks throbbed.
“Now what do you say, darling? One more round of celebration before we go to bed?”
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tiffanytoms · 4 months
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20 Questions
Okay, sorry for how procrastinator-y I was (no seriously, it's shameful how far I had to scroll, ahah) but THANK YOU to @chiechie97 and @practicecourts for tagging me in this! 💕
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
10 😄
2. What's your total AO3 words count?
*quickly learns how AO3 works* 914,127… wait. Really?? 🤯 Well shit, okay 💅
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Just Jily 🥰
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Enemy Within
What Are You Doing to Me?
Whatever You Say, Professor
Baby Bird
Right Reasons
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Fuck yeah! I love chatting! It still blows my mind that ppl want to talk about one of my hobbies with me 🤣
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Ooooo. I think Wickedly Twisted will take the cake, but that ending is still solely in my head for now. Wait, no, nvm, I literally wrote Jily DYING in WAYDTM. Sooo yeah. Probably that.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Oo! Okay. Well I’m still gonna write an epilogue for WYSP that gonna be so sugary sweet it’ll spread diabetes, but otherwise it’s probably a 3-way tie between Chicks Dig Scars, Magic James, or Baby Bird bc they all end on the implication that Jily will then ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
*Blinks so slowly time stands still* Yeah, but only if they’re that good.
9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?
*Grins so quickly the world implodes* Hell yeah! The dirty, filthy, wonderful kind! (Idk, it depends on the fic!)
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I guess so? Bc RR is based off of The Bachelor 🌹
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yuuuuup. Had one scene ripped off so blatantly (like, almost all the elements) that it honestly put me off reading too many other ppl’s Jily stories for a bit, bc I really never want to put another author thru that. Now I can 💯 percent guarantee that all my ideas and the scenarios are my own. Sucks though, bc obviously I’m here bc I love reading Jily. (I’ll definitely go back to reading when I’m not in the midst of writing 2 stories though.)
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I’ve had ppl ask, but I don’t know if they ever followed through!
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Nope! I think my way of doing things would honestly drive someone else insane, soooo I’m fine with going it alone 😅
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Jily 😍
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Well that’s just rude. (I’d never not finish, I’m far too stubborn. Fuck you.)
16. What are your writing strengths?
Obsession, psychology, and an insatiably horny zest for life!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Impatience. I think sometimes good things take time, and I’m over here too bored to write the boring bits 😆
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
That’s cool
19. First fandom you wrote for?
First one I published was SMALLVILLE, but I think I had a very angsty childhood day where I wrote a whole scene about how much Harry hated Vernon and honestly it was very disturbingly graphic and yeah. Glad I’m more into smut these days! 😁😇😁
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Aaaah! Hm. 🤔 Okay. That’s a toughie. For my heart and soul, I’d say WAYDTM, bc honestly, I really do feel like I poured all my feelings into that one. But from a purely writing standpoint, EW, bc it just all came together, and I know the storyline is legit, and I feel like I had ppl obsessed with it and it was really nice! 😅
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immajustvibehere · 2 years
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Chance Encounter
Chapter 1
Some slow burn Arthur x reader...enjoy!
Warning: nothing just yet, lot of exposition, more Arthur x reader action in the next chapter, mentions of bullying
Summary: You have been working on Emerald Ranch as long as you can remember. One day, you notice a cowboy who from this day on seems to appear more often to do business with Seamus. You are not sure why, but this man has your fullest attention.
1300 words, less than 10 minutes reading time 
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It was one of those days...you were sweating like hell ripping out weed that has grown in between the carrots. Carefully, of course. You were used to being screamed at if you did anything wrong. The work you had to do on the ranch and how you were treated wasn’t fair in any way. It’s not like you actively chose this job. It was your mum who started to work on Emerald Ranch when you were just a baby. Without a father and family for support, your mother was ready to do any kind of work to make sure you wouldn’t have to grow up starving. She always said that you can consider yourself lucky for working on a ranch rather than...you know. She had passed away when you were only fifteen and her workload was transferred to you. You were the idiot for everything, really. Being the youngest woman you often where the victim of gross advances or belittling by the men working here. You would have left but where to? The money you had been saving would be enough to live on for a while, but you knew that living on the ranch was better than aimlessly wandering around as a young woman, jobless, with no relations.
You were just tossing some weed onto a cloth, so you could easily throw it out later, when you saw two riders approaching. This wasn’t unusual. But seeing that they stopped at Seamus and since at least one of them was quite heavily armed, you got an idea of what kind of people they were. A bit out of breath from your work you pressed your old straw hat almost over your eyes, securing your face would be in the shadow and picked up the cloth with the pile of weed. Some eavesdropping never hurt somebody, you thought and jumped over the fence to throw the weed away some distance from the field. Somewhere behind Seamus' barn so you could pass the two strangers. Everybody, the boss aside, knew that Seamus had some shady side business going on, but you were the only one who found such great pleasure in analysing the people that stop at the ranch to sell him stuff. Eavesdrop from time to time was the only activity that gave you some kind of excitement which you rarely experienced in your everyday life.
"Prove ourselves? To this clown? What are ya talkin' about?", scoffed one of the men. You dared a fleeting look when you passed them, still about 13 feet between you. The man who had just called Seamus a clown wore a black hat and a light brown jacket. Seamus seemed annoyed and turning around, he faced in your direction. Quickly the older man in the green coat and the blue hat said: "Listen! He's rough and ready and quick with his tongue but I swear, you can trust him, and trust me." You went out a little further and emptied your cloth of weed close to a donkey that was grazing there. Understanding the men was impossible, they were whispering now. Only as you headed back you hear the older man with the hat turn to the other man who was sitting on the bench and calling him to them with a "Arthur!" and a hasty gesture with his hands. You looked at the man who's name apparently was Arthur only to find his eyes resting on you just a moment longer before he stood up and joined the other two. You hurried back to the field, feeling caught somehow, even though you knew that there was no way this Arthur could have told you were eavesdropping intentionally instead of feeding the donkey.
You had no idea what exactly the men were talking about, but you figured the wheels and hooves you heard at night had something to do with it. Over the next few weeks, you saw Arthur passing through more than once, always stopping to have 'a chat' with Seamus. You managed to find reasons to pass him and catch snippets of the conversation, carrying hay or buckets full of water. On his third or fourth visit to Emerald Ranch, Arthur started greeting people. Most of them ignored the greetings or whispered an insult back. Nothing out of the ordinary for the nice fellows you shared work with. One day, it just so happened that you were watering the flowers when Arthur came riding through the ranch on his horse. You paused, as you usually did, to look up. Passing you, he tipped his hat and with a nod mumbled a kind "Miss". You nodded, too flustered to greet back properly.
It was about a week later when you got up early to collect eggs for breakfast. This was a job you shared with another farm boy called Tom. Tom usually woke up before you but instead of getting up and doing his job he would grab the next best thing, often times a wet rag or a dirty sock, and throw it at you to wake you up. It’s easy to say that you absolutely hated sharing a room with, in this case four, other people. Today however, when you left your shack to walk to the chicken coop, you saw the cowboy leaning against the shed, smoking a cigarette and looking lost in his thoughts.
“Good morning, sir”, you managed to say, “You are waiting on Seamus, I s’pose?”
Arthur looked up, taking his one leg off the wall to stand more upright: “Tha’s right. He starts business around this hour, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah...though he is away for a day or two. Had some personal issues that needed attending.”
“Huh, I see. Guess I’ll be back in a day or two”, you detected a little smile, though you couldn’t really tell, with the sun not having risen yet and his hat throwing an additional shadow on his face.
You nodded; a bit sorry for the lack of reason to keep the conversation alive. Slowly you continued to the chicken coop, when you saw Arthur grab his horse’s reins to lead the horse next to him, all the while keeping up with you.
“So how’s the work here? I feel like everyone on this damn ranch is annoyed all the time”, Arthur inquired.
“It sucks. Doesn’t pay well for the shit one has to do. And it's boring”, you answered, jumping over the gate to collect the chicken eggs in your hat.
“At least it’s honest work”, Arthur said, putting a lot of stress on the ‘honest’ part.
“Well”, you smiled with sudden confidence, “a week of honest work won’t get me as much as Seamus pays you fellas for whatever you are bringing him in one day.”
The man laughed. It was wonderful to hear somebody laugh about something you said. He wasn’t laughing at you, nor was it glee because you fell for a prank or accidentally dropped something. This, you were used to. Only a couple of days ago Tom had found pleasure in dipping your shoes into some cow’s shit before placing them next to your other belongings. The boys had found it amusing. Arthur though seemed to have a good time and suddenly you felt better than you have felt in a long time.
“Anyways, I’ll be off", in a moment Arthur was on his horse, "See you around”. He tapped his hat respectfully before he gave his horse the spurs.
“Thank you, sir”, you smiled, “Have a nice day.”
With this you watched him ride away until his small figure was swallowed by the next hill. You were exhilarated and most definitely awake.
-----x
Chapter 2: here
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maskyartist · 1 year
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"yall should ask me about loyalty swap" i am Looking
howd neo start working for ozpin? 👀
OH WELL IF U INSIST! Just keep in mind @rexidot and I tend to use our own hc backstories for characters like Neo, Roman, and Ozpin, so none of this will follow things from Roman Holiday (havent even read it :( so depressing I want it so bad)
We’re still kinda feeling it out but currently the plot goes-
Ozpin grew up in a very well off family, but was often overlooked or simply ignored for most of his life. He was very lonely, mostly having the housekeeping or kitchen staff for company, and they weren’t the best friends for a child. He needed someone around his age.
Which is why he saw it as a blessing in disguise when he got his pocket change stolen one day, and found Neo tucked away trying to hoard it for herself.
Neo saw a simple rich kid and didn’t think much of it. She did her usual slight of hand and hurried away before the boy could catch up, but a simple trip sent her newly earned Lien scattered. She just barely managed to hoard it all together before Ozpin caught up with her and effectively cornered her.
Instead of yelling about some thief or whining like most kids would, Ozpin just smiled and offered a hand.
“Maybe this is a bit bold…but would you like to have lunch with my family? I would be happy to buy your meal.”
Neo was suspicious, because who wouldn’t be? But this dork definitely wasn’t planning on tricking her. His big glasses and poofy hair and dumb turtlenecks were obvious signs that he was too…good for that kind of thing. This was a genuine offer, and as much as Neo didn’t want to be around the rich, they found a compromise with Neo basically miming out her idea, and Ozpin catching on.
They meet in the middle, Ozpin buying her a cheaper meal that the two can split and just…talking. Ozpin admits he’s not worried about his parents. They won’t notice he’s gone. They never do.
And that’s what sparks the idea.
“Why don’t I bring you home with me?” He offers, patiently, with a smile. “I will handle my parents and their worries, but I doubt they’d mind much.” A giggle. “If anything, they’d probably enjoy your company, considering how much time we could spend together.”
It’s an odd request, but Ozpin just seemed so…genuine. Weird for sure, but genuine. And if Neo skipped out on a good roof over her head, she’d be dumber than him. If anything his place will probably have valuables she could steal and sell.
She agrees and Ozpin brings her home, his parents never even realized he wasn’t at lunch. They weren’t happy with Oz bringing home a “street urchin” but when Ozpin began to explain his point, they just waved him away. If he wanted a friend that badly then he could have it. Leave them to work. She’s his responsibility now.
Ozpin and Neo were too young to really grasp the weirdness of it. All they knew was immediate approval, and Ozpin was eager to get his new friend settled.
Neo told herself it wouldn’t be permanent but day after day of waking up in Ozpin’s house, seeing him in the hallway, running around together, playing in the garden…she was attached. Gone was the tenseness of living on the streets. Now was a genuine day by day routine with someone who cared. It was an odd start, and Neo was flighty for the first few weeks, but she always came back. Ozpin would let her go and she’d come back because she knew he’d be right there with a smile and some cocoa and one of the maids holding blankets in case she was cold.
Eventually, Grimm found Ozpin’s family estate and practically burned it to the ground during a night of consistent arguing between the parents about business deals and money coming and going. Ozpin didn’t think it’d end with them in flames, just in divorce.
They were about 12-13 when it happened, Ozpin being a year older and Neo awakening to her Semblance to block an Ursa from ripping him apart. The illusion shattered when hit and Neo was racing out the door, Ozpin’s hand tight in her grasp.
All Ozpin managed to save was Long Memory. A relic, at least that’s what his grandfather said, passed down from generation to generation. He wasn’t meant to have it so soon…but a familiar voice told him he needed it. An imaginary friend, you could say.
“…it seems it’s just us, Neo.” Was the first thing out of Ozpin’s mouth. No mourning. Simple stared facts.
Neo just gripped his hand tighter. She didn’t need to sign. She just stared at her friend, who smiled right back at her.
They had each other for whatever was about to come…and as the police and huntsmen arrived to survey the scene and take care of the remaining Grimm, Neo never let go of Ozpin’s hand. Not once.
Now fast forwarding a bit! Ozpin becomes headmaster and Neo acts as his personal escort/bodyguard on campus! Ozpin’s never seen without her, and she’s always there. During council meetings in the corner of the camera, during inner circle discussions where her silent commentary makes Ozpin smile, anywhere Ozpin is Neo’s never far behind. Or in front.
Neo essentially fills Qrow’s role. She acts as Ozpin’s spy, gathering information and such. She’s happy to do so, her silence keeping her a useful piece of the puzzle. Due to their closeness, I fully believe Neo knows the most about Salem. It’s possible Ozpin filled her in on everything since Neo can’t possibly tell someone else. Her loyalty knows no bounds and her voice is non existent.
This is just me getting a general feel but that’s basically how they met! And how they are now! :D they’re not really stated as a couple but c’mon….can’t just have Magpie this AUs also got Quiet Time :)
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saturnite0614 · 11 months
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hitting some major writer's block so in order to remind myself that I can do it, I'm sharing my favorite lines from each chapter of my on going fic. I haven't allowed myself of a lot of self-celebration in my life so I'm doing it now.
Chapter 1: Soap holds his hand up, "You need to let me finish. It's not fair, because no matter what you say, I still want to kiss you. And you're saying all this shite in a pub bathroom about how you want to be with me."
Chapter 2: All the insecurities he's buried since childhood peek out with ugly little eyes, watching the rest of his world crumble around him and waiting for the moment when they can crawl out on little arachnid legs.
Chapter 3: His feathery hope was born in crisis. It was born in the rain on the streets of Mexico, fed only by the gravelly tones of Ghost in his ears. His voice and eyes are all it knows. Now it's hammering for more. It wants to know it's not going to starve once the winter comes.
Chapter 4: "That person was happy. For the first time in months, I didn't feel like a living corpse and it was ripped away from me. Shutting it away meant I didn't have to feel their loss. I didn't have to mourn them. But when I'm with you, I am happy again. I'm that person and I have to feel them all over again." His voice breaks.
Chapter 5: A ghost on the stairwell and a reminder of their mission.
Chapter 6: "You're fucking beautiful, Johnny." There's a crack at the edge of his voice, "Just," he rubs his thumb across his cheekbone, "every part of you." His touches are so light now, as if Soap might break underneath them and given the last few days, he felt like he very much might, but not around Simon.
Chapter 7: He would focus on the movie and the candy before him. He had a life before Ghost and this weird obsession he could only partly get over by giving into it. Now he would live that life with Price and Gaz.
Chapter 8: “I’m home now.” Simon says. He itches to leave the mask there and truly move on. That’s what a healthy person would do. He wasn’t there yet. He’s big enough to accept that.
Chapter 9:  Ghost observes him, drinking in his profile – the slight way the bridge of his nose rounds downwards but the tip points slightly upwards, the thickness of his eyebrows, and the way his upper lip is almost tilted inwards, adding to the thinness of them. Ghost stares at this profile now, like he had then. But then, when Soap had turned back towards him, he froze.
Chapter 10: Ghost can’t help but mirror that smile. This is good. He did something right.
Chapter 11: At work, it's easier. You’re allowed to work yourself to the bone, carry exhaustion with you to bed and let it chase away any inklings of dreaming. Here, where there is nothing to do but relax, there is no defense against the past. Even Soap was slipping as an anchor. As he embraces his own past, Ghost loses his grip on the present.
Chapter 12: “You can sit and judge me all you want, everyone knows you’re bloody well good at it. I will be your target. I will be the fuck-up. But you will not talk about my sister or Simon in that way... He’s perfect because he loves her. Simon is perfect because he loves me. And it’s more than you have ever done for either of us."
Chapter 13: “Something wrong with your ears?” He bites his lip in the gorgeous smile of his, as if he’s trying to hide it entirely, or like he doesn’t know how to deal with it.
“Yeah, they’re burning. Say it again.” If he thought his own confession was electric, Simon’s was tenfold, stronger than any explosive he’s ever created. Already his skin crawls, itching out and reaching for those three words again.
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mya-and-me · 8 months
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Hi! My name is Kimie. I am a 30-something-year-old woman from Montreal, Québec and this is the story of Mya and me.
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To give you a little more context on me, I never had a dog growing up but for as long as I can remember, I always wanted one.
I am a proud first generation Canadian. My parents immigrated here in the 70s – my mom from El Salvador and my dad from Colombia.
Whenever I asked for a dog, my parents always said, “No, dogs are not meant to be kept in houses”. This is how it was for them back home – dogs would just roam around their neighbourhoods or be left in people’s front yard as guard dogs back then.
Fast forward to my early twenties…
I was working my first full-time job. The mall that I worked at had a pet store and I would walk in regularly to see all the animals they had – my main attraction were always the dogs. I walked in one day and walked out with my first dog, a Shih Tzu named Chewy.
I am not going to lie; I was scared to bring him home that day. I knew my parents’ stance on dogs, but he was the cutest fluff I had ever seen and figured they would love him anyways and that’s exactly what happened.
Chewy lived to be 14 years old – he passed away in March of this year (RIP little one). He was the best first dog anyone can ask for. When I moved out, my mom and I shared custody of Chewy. She would have him on days that she didn’t work, and I would have him on the days that she worked.
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When the 1st wave of Covid-19 broke out here in March 2020, everything went on lock down. My mom was laid off from her job of over 30 years with just a couple of years left before retiring. At this time, Chewy became her full-time companion (up until very recently).
Chewy suffered all his life with stomach sensitivities and food intolerances. We were always very careful with what food we were giving him; he rarely ate any table food and we always listened to vet recommendations. Still, this was not enough.
We noticed a significant weight loss from December to February this year. He went from his standard 13 lbs to just 9lbs in 2 months! He had been 13-14 lbs for as long as we can remember. Things started deteriorating very rapidly in February: his bowels started becoming very irregular, he was not holding in any of the food we were giving him. After several visits to the vets, the vets put him on antibiotics and ordered some blood work – the blood work was inconclusive therefore, we had to get an ultrasound done. The results from the ultrasound were not favourable – he had cancer in his intestines.
Time was ticking after that news – Chewy was on borrowed time and we had to get our ducks in a row. We needed to give him the best quality of life possible with the time he had left but it was too little, too late.
- we gave up the vet diet (as that was not doing him any good anymore).
- we started incorporating pre and probiotics with his food.
- we got together and researched what food we could cook for him that wouldn’t deteriorate his state further.
We cooked him a batch of turkey with quinoa, carrots, sweet potatoes and spinach. He loved this food, we could tell!
Maybe we should have been feeding him that type of diet since we found out about his food sensitivities? Maybe we should have done more research? Maybe we should have incorporated more vitamins and supplements to his diet from the onset? We had so many questions after we found out he was sick and we were devasted knowing that one day soon, he would no longer be with us but Chewy was still his happy, go-lucky self until his last day. His energy, his sweetness, his affection never faltered. This blog is dedicated to Chewy – the best first dog.
Let’s get back on track…
Although this blog is dedicated to Chewy, this blog is about Mya and me. This is our story, and it is only the beginning.
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geminiamethyst · 10 months
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Let The Flames Begin. Chapter 12: Harassment
Chapter 1: click HERE
Chapter 11: click HERE
Chapter 13: click HERE
Sorry this took longer than it should’ve. Things have been going on and I didn’t feel like I was in the right mindset to write much. Suffered from a bad burnout and there have been events going on IRL that I’m not going to get into.
Apologies if this chapter isn’t the greatest, but I still hope you all like it just the same.
Those two didn’t know the meaning of give up.
The day after Flameslinger saw that couple, they started to harass him constantly. No matter how many times they were shot down for their approach, they just kept coming back.
It started small.
They started to send letters to Flameslinger. It always said the same thing every time. They’d be begging and demanding him to come back to his old life. They would try their old tricks with guilt tripping, saying that they were being treatened with homelessness or some kind of debt that they were struggling to pay off. It was all repeated so many times that Flameslinger would find himself yawning the moment he started to read it. At first he didn’t know who was sending the letters, he couldn’t recognise the handwriting at first. In all honesty, he didn’t remember ever seeing anything that his “parents” had written during the time that he was living with them. Once he started recognising the handwriting, he started to rip up the letters or put them in the fireplace if it was burning. He showed the handwriting to his housemates so that if he was out on a mission when they arrived, the other Skylanders would dispose of the letters for him.
Then things started to escalate. The couple has started to trespass onto the grounds of the Academy to speak to him in person. At first they would miss him when he’s out on missions. Then they started waiting until either he got back or they just happened to spot him when he was taking breaks. They even followed him to the house that he was staying in with his other housemates. Whenever he saw them, Flameslinger would walk away and pretend that they didn’t exist. If they tried to make a grab for him, he’d run away. If any of the other Skylanders were around, they would step in themselves, giving the elven couple a very, VERY firm warning. It started to get to the point where Flameslinger wouldn’t be outside for too long because the second that they would se him alone, they’d would approach him right at that second. It took until Master Eon had finally caught them (he kept missing him because they would be gone by time he was warned or started to make an appearance), and had Buzz and the rest of security to boot them off the grounds. Security had seen their faces and recognised their mode of transportation now. Every time they got close to landing, the security team along with some of the flying Skylanders that would happen to be there, would scare the unwanted elves off. It worked as they stopped coming back and the letters had ceased being sent.
However, they still couldn’t get it through their thick skulls that Flameslinger just wanted to be left alone. And they stepped it up again in the worst way possible for Flameslinger.
The day started off fine. A little out of routine for Flameslinger but fine nonetheless. He hadn’t been called out on any missions yet but had made sure that he was readily available. He spent the whole morning training and keeping his skills sharp. He did want to do more but he felt exhausted after doing the 3rd program that was set up for both long ranged shooting and speed. After having an early lunch, he thought that relaxing a little would be good before he either did some more training or was called out for a mission. Despite the day being dry, there were some grey clouds looming around. Flameslinger wasn’t sure if the heavens were threatening to open or not, but he didn’t want to take any chances. Unlike a lot of the Fire Skylanders, he didn’t mind getting wet, but it can affect his abilities. So he decided to just stay alone in his room working on his drawings. He had gotten better and had even started attempting to draw some of the other Skylanders. Some were easy, but others, like the dragon Skylanders, were proving to be a challenge. Maybe he should get a how to draw book so that he could have some references to practice from?
“Hey, Sling?” Sprocket’s voice suddenly spoke as there was a soft knock at his door. Flameslinger hummed curiously, which caused the door to be opened a little more. He often left it ajar so that if someone were to call out for him, he would hear them easily. When Sprocket opened the door, she looked quite uncertain. That was unusual and quite concerning. “There’s someone here to see you.”
A visitor?
That was more unusual. The Academy wasn’t exactly closed off to anyone that wanted to show gratitude to the Skylanders. But they always go to the main campus themselves, they’ve never went to the houses that the Skylanders lived in. It wasn’t exactly against the rules or anything, but the visitors always respected the personal space that the Skylanders had. Maybe there was a reason to see him specifically? Whatever it was, raised a small red flag if Sprocket was looking so uneasy.
Wanting to get to the bottom of this, Flameslinger strode downstairs to where this guest was. The first thing that he noticed when he came down was Lightning Rod, whose cloud was slowly transitioning from white to a dark grey. That can’t be good. That small red flag was suddenly accompanied by a larger one. The Storm Titan was hovering by the door leading into the dining room and kitchen. His arms were crossed, as if he was trying to restrain himself from having a fit. Though he was having a hard time to keep this angry expression on his face. This visitor must have barged their way in without being invited or something like that. In all honesty, if that happened, Flameslinger was surprise that he didn’t hear the commotion. He might have accidentally tuned out what was going on while he was more engrossed in his drawings than he initially thought.
Flameslinger glanced into the room, spotting the visitor right away. He seemed to be mid aged with his dark blue hair earning some grey strands and was balding slightly. He was wearing a suit that appeared to be smart but at second glance, it was quite old and was even quite badly wrinkled. His shoes were slightly unpolished. The state of his shoes and suit suggested that this guy just threw the articles of clothing on in a hurry and didn’t think to make it look right. It was kind of strange. He looked familiar, but Flameslinger wasn’t quite sure where he had seen him before.
“You can leave now.” The elf huffed, waving a dismissive hand at Lightning Rod. Flameslinger heard the quiet crackling from his housemate’s cloud, but was grateful that it didn’t escalate other than that. So far, this elf hadn’t done anything that warranted anything to be kicked out. However, there was this feeling that wouldn’t leave Flameslinger alone. And it continued to gnaw at him quite aggressively. Stay calm. Nothing bad has happened yet. He can’t be irrational unless proven otherwise.
“You need me in here, kid?” Lightning Rod asked, keeping his voice quiet enough for only Flameslinger to hear.
“I’ll be fine, Lightning Rod. Thank you.” Flameslinger answered. He felt confident that he’ll be okay, but there was that twisting feeling in his stomach that was too obvious to ignore.
“Shout if you need anything.” The Storm Titan whispered, subtly clenching a fist to show that he was ready to show this stranger the door if it came down to it. He drifted out off the room, and with Sprocket standing next to him, closed the door. While they could’ve walked away, Flameslinger could still feel their presence lingering by the door. Guess they had the same bad feeling that he did. At least they’re ready to step in when if Flameslinger shouted for him. He took a deep breath, keeping his worries inside him for now. He needs to have a calm composure, especially if he was wrong about this suspicious feeling.
“What can I do for you?” He asked as politely as he could. The elf’s eyes seemed to light up. Flameslinger didn’t like that look. He didn’t like it even more when the elf suddenly pulled out a candle and matchstick box. He struck a match and quite careless lit the candle. Flameslinger’s stomach tightened even more. This had better not go the way that it looked it was going.
“I made a bet on Silver Streak. Find out if they won.” The elf demanded, looking greedily at the Fire Skylander. Flameslinger’s ear twitched in irritation. Now he remembered where he had seen this elf before. He was one of the regular “customers” that came to his house. The one that had an addiction to making bets. Flameslinger just can’t believe this. First it was that couple that dared to call themselves his “parents” and now this idiot! He must have been told where to go, so that his parents can get back to their get rich quick scheme all over again.
Why can’t these people just leave him alone already?! It was like they were living boomerangs. No matter how far Flameslinger tried to throw them away, they just kept coming back!
His ear twitched again as the candle was pushed towards him a little more. The elf was careless with his movements, almost knocking the candle over. Flameslinger immediately blew out the flame. The elf in front of him looked bewildered before he reached for his matches. Flameslinger promptly snatched the matchbox off of him. He snatched the candle off the table too. The elf’s eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of his skull at the audacity that Flameslinger was showing towards him. The Fire Skylander placed the objects on the kitchen counter, before sending a warning glare towards the elf.
“Get…out…” he spoke slowly, his tone sharp.
“Why?! I paid your parents to help me!” The elf sputtered, completely aghast by what he was hearing. Oh, this poor sucker… He had obviously been scammed if he had already prepaid that couple.
“Then get your money back! I don’t do this anymore!” Flameslinger shouted, his ears folding back. Not that he believed that this man would get his money back at all. If he knew his “parents”, and how careless they can be, they might have spent the money already. And the last time that he had checked, there was no refund policy. Not that there was ever a need for one.
“Oh please! You’re just doing play pretend! Your parents said so!” The elf scoffed, needlessly throwing his hands up in the air.
“That’s a lie.” Flameslinger grumbled through clenched teeth. Why do these idiots think that he’s faking in being a Skylander? He wouldn’t be living here if that were the case.
“My wife had banned me from betting because I kept losing! All because you ran away!” The elf continued, ignoring what Flameslinger was saying. This guy had a wife? Maybe she should divorce him and cut all of her loses if this guy has a problem with gambling. Also, how was this Flameslinger’s fault anyway? The idiot had a problem and now a horrible streak of bad luck it seems.
“Then why continue to gamble?” Flameslinger asked, starting to feel like a countdown was starting in his head. A countdown as a warning for him to not loose his cool.
“Because you can help me!” The elf shouted, desperately getting to his feet. Flameslinger felt his ear twitch for the third time. What was he? A lucky charm or something?! This is just pathetic. More pathetic than it needed to be.
“Go to the event yourself! I’ve got better things to do!” Flameslinger snapped, crossing his arms defiantly.
“Oh please! All you are is a slave!” The elf yelled, getting to his feet with his ears folded back in anger. He was clearly letting his own thoughts out. What he truly thought of the Fire Skylander. “Your only purpose is to use that second sight of yours! So do as I say and look at the race for me!”
Flameslinger almost lost it then. He’s no one’s slave! How dare this man come here and call him that?! If Flameslinger didn’t have what little restraint he had, he would’ve given this pompous windbag the boot. In fact, he could feel his boots heating up under him, but calmed down in order to not scorch the floorboards (again). He started to step away, getting ready to open the door and send the idiot on his way. However, just as he was steps away from grabbing the door handle, the elf gripped his arm tightly. Flameslinger snapped his head around, catching sight of a greedy, desperate hand reaching for his blindfold. It was ready to rip it right off his face as soon as it touched the material.
The internal countdown was over.
Flameslinger’s body automatically moved. It suddenly remembered what he needed to do on its own. He grabbed the hand that came at him, gripping the wrist hard. He forced the arm behind the elf’s back. The elf exclaimed in pain before he was shoved forward. He crashed into the table, his weight causing it to topple over. Flameslinger internally laughed at this. He’ll need to thank Stealth later. The training with her that day had finally paid off. And if he was being honest, it felt good to push back like this.
“How dare-” the elf stammered, still completely in shock as to what had happened.
“Flameslinger! Everything alright?!” Sprocket asked as the door burst open. Lightning Rod was standing next to her. Flameslinger could see Fright Rider peeking out from behind the Storm Titan. The loud crash from the scuffle must have alerted them instantly.
“I’m fine.” Flameslinger spoke, sounding unbelievably calm. The other Skylanders seemed a bit dumbfounded at the scene in front of them. They happened to notice the unwelcome guest on the ground and started to put two and two together. Flameslinger dropped his voice low enough to be an incredibly clear warning. “Don’t ever touch me again! Or try to remove my blindfold!”
“But…I paid-” the elf stammered, still shaking from both anger and fear. He clearly didn’t think that the Fire Skylander would fight back like this. He tried again to explain that he had given away the money that he saved up for this, but that was his problem.
“I don’t care. I’ll warn you one last time. Get out!” Flameslinger bitterly argued, glaring as hard as he could. There was this heat all round him. He had no doubt that if his blindfold was off, the entire room would feel like being in a sauna. Maybe even the whole house. A part of him wondered if some light from his eyes could be seen through the material. While a part of him felt a little pity for the fool, his anger overwhelmed every other feeling. He’s honeslty surprised at how much composure he was maintaining right now.
“Pardon the interruption.” Rider suddenly interjected after clearing his throat. Flameslinger finally looked away from the idiot and looked over at his fellow Skylanders. “Flameslinger, we’re needed for a mission.” Flameslinger breathed a small sigh of relief. Finally he can get away from all of this. He refused to relive through any more terrible memories.
“Thank you.” He smiled slightly, being more than grateful for this timing. He then looked at the elf as he was slowly getting back on his feet. He had stopped smiling and finally started to walk away. “Please see yourself out. I need to “play pretend” in being a Skylander.”
“But-“ the still shaken elf stammered, trying to reach for Flameslinger in one final attempt to getting his wish. As Flameslinger started to get out of the room, the elf followed him quickly and was close enough to snatching his arm. However, Lightning Rod clamped a large hand on his shoulder. The elf shuddered as he looked up, but seemed to relax a little when he saw the Air Skylander smiling down at him. Little did he realise that the smile was actually a subtle warning from Lightning Rod.
“Hey, girlie. I believe that the kid has told you to leave.” He continued to smile widely. Then his smile turned into a scowl as his cloud started to turn dark grey with a small rumbling of thunder coming from within it. “Unless you want a taste of my lightning!”
“Four against one. Five if you separate the bird from the elf.” Sprocket added, hefting her wrench as a visible threat. The elf looked around the room, suddenly growing incredibly pale. “If I were you, I wouldn’t take my chances.”
The elf grew even paler as his panicked eyes danced back and forth between the Skylanders. Disdain and warnings were sent right back into his soul. Rider had his hand clenched on his spear so tight, that his knuckles cracked a little, while his steed started to crouch in preparation to pounce and charge. Sprocket tapped her wrench against one hand, almost demonstrating how heavy it truly was. The rumbling in Lightning Rod’s cloud started to grow louder as it got even darker. Flameslinger’s face was unreadable, but that’s what made him seem the most scary. It meant that he can be unpredictable within a split second. That was more than enough for the elf to finally get the message. He quivered as he got to his feet. Then he bolted, going as fast as his legs could go. The Skylanders watched as he ran away, disappearing to the far side of the island, hopefully never to be seen again.
“Is it wrong for me to wish that the jerk comes back?” Lightning Rod smirked as the elf vanished, cracking his knuckles.
“Easy big guy! What are you still doing here?!” Sprocket snapped as she turned to Flameslinger and Fright Rider. Both elves went bolt upright as Ozzy squeaked in surprise. “You’ve got a mission! Go! We’ll handle damage control here!”
“Thanks Sprocket!” Rider laughed lightly. His smile faded as Flameslinger didn’t respond, heading out to the hallway. He quickly dropped his voice to a whisper. He didn’t want to pry, but he wanted to make sure that everything was okay. “What was that all about?”
“Let’s just go.” Flameslinger sighed, collecting his bow from a small rack that had been built for it. As he stepped outside, he could hear Fright Rider chasing after him. Thankfully the Undead Skylander didn’t ask any further. Yet. Flameslinger took in how calm it was after that encounter. It was like that unwanted visitor was never there. But who knew how long that would last?
Flameslinger shook his head a little as that thought crossed his mind. He really needs to take his mind off of this. He can’t dwell on it right now, it wasn’t a good time. Hopefully this mission will be the cure to that problem.
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quipsnquivers · 2 years
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You mentioned knowing a few kitsune and an oni before. What are they like?
"Ah shit, okay, let's go through this list."
"Okay, so way way back, after the Civil War, but before I started being Hawkeye again, I had this thought that I uh... I wasn't at my best. In a lot of ways. And since part of my parole was that Hawkeye had to report for a buncha shit, I decided to just... Leave it. Kate and I had uh... Met, shortly, at that point, and I decided she could hold the name well enough. I just wanted to protect my family. So I decided to brush up on skills I had forgotten or never had, and long story short, blahblahblah, decided to actually look into my dad's side of culture. Not fair to just ignore half my heritage cause he was an asshole. And I heard reports about this vigilante ninja in Tokyo, so I figured I'd check it out. Riley stayed with her mom, and I visited often, but for a couple years I lived in Tokyo and flew back and forth. Turns out that vigilante ninja was what's called an onryo, which is like... If Ghost Rider was more zombie than metal album cover. Her name's Hisako, and she became my mentor. Basically trained me to be Ronin. So, all the different aspects of being a ninja, those like 13 disciplines of bushido or whatever, I studied em all, and then some. Didn't touch a bow or sword for a month at one point, just trying to focus on hand to hand every day. But part of that training was living with her and her little family and helping do her job, which is a lot of supernatural shit. And I'm used to bein' the only human in the room with superhumans, but being the only human in a room fulla yokai is some weird shit. But fun shit."
"So, as far as the Japanese supernatural folk I know, there's Hisako, my master, who is an onryo, or vengeance spirit. Promise she's so much friendlier than that sounds, but she can and will rip your soul out and give it a nice scrub or plunge it into damnation. We, uh.... Dated. A bit. But she's very happy in Tokyo and I wasn't. No hard feelings there."
"Then there's the kitsunes, Shinju and Tama. They're part of a family of em that have been around for... A long fuckin time. Those were the ones I talked to most, Shinju runs the cafe that everybody works at, and is a... I can't remember the term, but basically a benevolent kitsune. She heals and helps people, very nurturing spirit. Then Tamaki, or just Tama, is... God, he's just kind of a bastard, said affectionately. I call him trash fox and he doesn't even bat an eye. We are... Too alike, in a lot of regards. He likes protecting people that can't protect himself, especially in his favorite bar spots, and he's been through a lot. Kinda earned the bastard energy, but he's also a little shit that eats garbage because there's still goodies in there. Oh, and not technically a kitsune, but he's a close friend to em, there's a rabbit man named Yuzuki that makes the best mochi I've had in my goddamn life."
"Then, let's see.... A handful of other yokai, but the most prominent and probably dangerous one is Mao. Mao is a straight up oni. Well... Kinda. He calls himself an oni, and by all accounts, has earned that rep, but was born as a half demon. He's been through a lot, and done a lot. Definitely not a great person, in the strictest definition. I mean, he 100% ate people and still talks about it. But... He also responded to the environment he was in. Which I get. And for the past few hundred years, he's been devoted to bein' better. Ya know, you beat the ass of everybody that hurt you and you don't know what else to do with your life. So you just keep kicking ass until you get put down for good. Guy lived through having his arms ripped off and just got new ones, and he's probably up there with Thor in terms of power. He could be bad if he wanted to, he could do whatever he wanted, but he's trying not to. I gotta respect that."
"Anyways, that's a quick rundown of the ones I know and why."
Edit: i'm tagging @ihadatinyturtle / @secretturtletim because these are our OCs and I'm FEELING it today. Feel free to ask either of us about any of our projects we have like 100 of them.
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emptyheart2010 · 1 year
Text
vent
i'm so tired.
i'm tired of living. i'm tired of wanting to die. i'm tired of hating my body.
i wish i wasn't so exhausted. all the things i used to love i don't anymore. my friends. my hobbies. all i want to do it cut and cry and stare into nothing but i can't because the world is neverending and i've never given enough.
i'm tired of hating her, and hating myself because i hate her and hating myself because i love her. i gave her everything and she took it all. i gave her everything and she didn't even want it, but now that i've got nothing left to give, she wants it back.
i'm tired of losing them. everyone i love, i push away or they push me away, because there's no reason to stay. maybe that's why i'm trying to befriend him, because he doesn't know how broken i am, because he sees me as a normal person instead of a shattered fucking monster.
she took my best friend away from me. the only person i could really trust. i hate them when they're with her but they're always with her so i guess i have to hate them now?
they say i'm not trying, i'm too forgetful, i'm lazy, i'm selfish, i'm greedy, i'm emo, i'm trying too hard, i'm weird, i'm giving too much of myself, just fucking make up your mind what's wrong with me tell me what i'm doing wrong so i can fix it because i can't be myself.
i don't remember who i was before depression and anxiety. i don't remember who i was before i stopped being anyone. was i ever anyone? did i ever matter to any of them?
V never talks to me anymore. i get it, she's busy and she was never good at keeping in contact, but her birthday's in a week and i didn't even get an invitation. i can't tell if she hates me or if i'm just reading too much into a situation that doesn't even matter.
people say your teenage years are the best years of your life, but if this is the best i don't want to live and grow up to something worse than this. how could anything be worse than this. i'm only 13 and i spend every day wishing i had the courage to cut my wrists or the means to fall asleep and never wake up.
i liked a girl from swimming. i thought maybe she liked me back. turns out she has a crush on a straight girl, and it doesn't matter how much i want to give her everything, because she'll never take it.
i feel like i'm going crazy. i feel like they hate me. i wish i could just say how i feel but how do i explain this? i can barely even speak in front of people in real life. i can barely even look them in the eye.
i can't stand physical contact. every time they touch me i want to rip my skin off. i can do clothing, but that's it. i keep my hands in my sleeves so i can pretend i'm somewhere safe, but i'm never safe. i can't feel safe. i can't trust. i don't know what i'm doing wrong but i just want someone to tell me how to fix this. how to fix me.
he makes me feel safe. i get so attached to people on the slightest sign of kindness. he was the first person who acknowledged i existed at my new school, who knew my name. who smiled at me and for a moment, i was okay. that was 3 years ago now and i'm still attached. every once and a while we'll work on a project together and we;ll get along great and talk and then the project ends and we go back to being strangers. i tried to change that but he hasn't responded and it's been 24 hours and i think he hates me now. i don't know what i'm doing wrong, why can't i just hold up a normal conversation? it's not like i have a crush on him, but i don't know how to explain my attachment to my friends so i can't even talk to anyone about it. i don't know how to explain that i feel safer with him than i do with any of them.
i don't know how to tell them to stop. to stop hitting me, to stop hurting me, to stop blaming me. she always plays the victim as a joke, but it makes me want to choke her until she's turning blue, then maybe she'll really be the victim, maybe then they'll take me away and fix me.
my parents want to expand my room. i don't know how to explain to them that i only feel safe when i'm small. they'll look at me like i'm crazy and then i'll just be i dont even know. i already feel like i'm drowning when my mom's around. i wish they'd get divorced so that i could just stay with my dad, they hate each other anyways, they're only good when the other isn't around. as a family we don't work but as pairs we do, maybe they could fix things if they spent enough time apart.
part of me wants to attempt suicide just so that they feel like it's their fault. part of me wants to do it because i feel like no one who matters will believe that i'm struggling every day until i do. i hate that part of myself more than i hate the other parts, partially because i can't deny that part of myself. the part that's so drained and so angry that i want everyone around me to hurt so that they can feel the pain i feel.
there's a kid in the grade below me who reminds me of myself. he's a good friend. i feel like he's the only one who hasn't given up on me yet. if he feels anything like i feel, he can't give up on me because he sees it too, what he'll become, and if he gives up on me he gives up on himself. that kid's gonna have a bright future if he can make it through high school. i could, too, if i cared about anything anymore. i would do anything to protect him, to save him from being like me. but i know i can't, that it's already too late. but maybe i can lessen the blow. carry some of the weight. be there for him when no one was there for me.
there's more, but i'm out of time. my mom's calling me.
i just want to be okay.
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mineofilms · 1 year
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Fitness Tips: 2023
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Fitness Tips: 2023 My History in/with Fitness, specifically WEIGHT-TRAINING…
From the time I was 13 till I was about 25; pretty much everyone that knew me or knew of my reputation in the SWFL area would praise me for my weightliting efforts. Not just the look but the numbers I could throw up for a small statured person. I was never even challenged in powerlifting till I went to State in my high school run and I still fared better than most being in the Top 5 twice out of 3 years in the state of FL. When I got older drinking, chasing girls, working with bands, film school, computer systems/networking school, took up a lot of my time; but when I finally got back into fitness I was going the bodybuilding route, due to the amount of weight I put on over the years. I didn’t know much about bodybuilding or using weight training to lose weight being into powerlifting most of my life. I was partying heavily and on ever OTC (Over the Counter) supplement I could find.
I was taking a heavy stim preworkout and drinking with it sometimes. Between all that my body decided to go into a diabetic state that just progressively got worse. I couldn't manage it. I still cannot manage it. The reason why I think the supplement had more to do with this than the lifestyle is because that is the great common denominator. I was always living this life. When I started adding these stimulant preworkouts is when I started to have problems and my dumbass just kept doubling down, like CNN on a given broadcast lol.
Eventually, my lifestyle was too much for my diabetic state and my body crashed several times over an 8 year span. Now I have even more problems. When you look at pics from those earlier years of my diabetic state you can see what my body was actually doing. It was literally eating my insides out from the inside out. Almost like a parasite would operate. First it went for all my fat reserves, then it started working on my physical strength, then it literally started to eat away my muscle mass. I was 188lbs in early 2012, by mid-2012 I was down to 150 lbs and even got down to 138 a year or so later. Sure I was working out, I wasn't dieting all that much but had choose better quality of foods. 2013-2014 my body leveled off a little because I eased up on the drinking; but that only lasted a year before I went back to hitting the bottle hard along with whatever female was around at the time to keep me, um, “occupied.” I was still taking heavy stim preworkouts. I was hospitalized in 2017 for an infection on my right middle finger. They wanted to chop it off, I wasn’t having any of that, nope... Then Covid happened. I got Covid halfway through the pandemic and it aggravated my diabetes to such a level that my body went into ketoshock and I had almost died. I have had serious and complex issues ever since.
So, yeah, if you look at pics of me from 2014, I am ripped, six pack, shredded but my strength was way down and getting worse. Now since I quit drinking, the drinking was making my condition worse, I was able to get my weight back up to around 157-162 on a given day. So, not ripped anymore but still pack a good punch. I am somewhere between fit dad bod and a natural bulldog look. I am happy with that. If I had a car and a better money situation I would be at a controlled environment like a gym. Right now I am training in my @home Garage Gym Life with what I have to work with, which is a decent setup for home gym. With the weather down here it is hard for me to really get after it. I cannot handle the heat very well anymore and the garage is not insulated. It gets hot in there even when it’s only in the 70s-80s. It will feel like 100+ in there. I have had to condense my training efforts significantly.
Some of you have ask for some general tips. So here are some…
TIPS: Some of this might sound basic as fuck but it’s important:
1)   Consistency – A steady balance of: Diet, Rest, Training and Repeat. All of these are equally difficult but Repeat is the hardest. You do not have to train every day. Actually you shouldn’t train every day but you should train 4-5 days a week and hit at least every body part once or twice pending on your schedule.
2)   Eat a well-balanced diet. If you want your body to grow you have to feed it. Protein based foods. You can never fail with meats and veggies people. No matter what all the articles, YouTube channels, professionals say about diet. You have to eat protein based meals. You cannot replace food with shakes. Shakes are not a meal replacement but are meal enhancements. You drink a shake with your meal if the meal doesn’t have the protein you need to sustain both muscle repair and muscle growth. You can/should have a protein shake or a BCAA drink after your workout. There is no magic number here. You need 60 grams of protein for breakfast alone to sustain muscular growth. You will have to look up what your bodyweight/height, all that stuff, and find a number that works for you per meal that triggers the body to respond to this stimulus.
3)   You need to rest your body. Your body grows/loses weight during rest/sleep. Do not short change yourself in that arena if your plan is to grow more. Your brain and body both need rest, so sleep… Even losing weight, the body needs to rest to repair what work you did to it.
4)   This goes back to consistency… Repeat… If you do all this you must make it habitual. If you are constantly breaking your routine of diet, rest, exercise and skip the repeat button your results will show this.
5)   Do not over train. Over training is a real thing but what “they” do not tell you is what that actually means. Over training simply means your diet/rest are not matching your effort in the gym. You might go in the gym and bust ass for 3 hour workouts and that is fine but you have to do both rest and eat at that same intensity or your body will not build upon itself as you expect it will.
6)   If your body feels flat, tired and your results are becoming hindered, most likely that is because your body isn’t getting enough nutrients and rest to match the breakdown of your body in the gym. Be mindful. This is the one single reason people quit their fitness journey. The science is real, however, it is not a one size fits all and trainers/coaches will treat you like it is, it isn’t, everyone is different. Everyone’s body is different and what triggers their own stimulus is different. It is a trainer’s/coach’s job to sell you on the premise that you cannot achieve your fitness goals without their help/guidance. That is only partially true. You can absolutely get in shape without paying the obscene amounts of money that trainers/coaches charge people. Especially in group training establishments. However, not all coaches/trainers are like this and you personally may need that extra help. Just know that this is doable on your own if you are willing to put in the time, energy, research, diet, rest, exercise, attention, acceptance, repeat onto yourself. It is more than just projecting this on yourself. You must actually DO IT… No level of belief will do this for you. You must comply and do the work or nothing that is wanted will be achieved.
7)   Look up split routines. Look up HITT training. Look up Hypertrophy or the process of how muscles are broken down and built back up. Look up the differences for training for power, endurance and growth. All 3 are different but share common attributes. They are also not all mutually exclusive.
8)   Supplements… Be careful with these. If you are gonna use supplementation do your research. Most supplements and/or companies are not regulated by the FDA. They have labels, sure, but what is on the label is not literally monitored by the FDA. You may buy protein and realize the protein has a bunch of fillers in there to make it taste better, but may be a substance that your digestive tract cannot process. I would also stay away from Stimulant based preworkouts. They make you feel great, but what they do not tell you, in a lot of cases, they are using one of like 30 different chemicals that are considered and/or in the meth family tree. You are not ingesting literal meth, but it will pop you as a positive drug test for meth. This is because your standard drug test for meth covers ALL of the whole family of meth-based-chemicals. Not all of them are illegal but they are still considered “meth.” You have to get a comprehensive drug test done so they can see the exact chemical make-up of what is in your urine/bloodstream. It costs more so they do not usually do that. Also if you are taking drug tests regularly you should bring in all the supplements you are taking and let the lab people see it for themselves. I almost got into trouble with probation when I was on probation because I got popped for meth and had to bring in the supplement I was taking that had that meth-family-chemical in it. That is how I know this lol. You can use protein freely for the most part. Plant based is better on the gut than others. There are all sorts of things you can take that are good. You can use a non-stim preworkout or just get Beta-Alanine which is the reason why most people take preworkout to begin with. Just do your research and do not trust that the supplement companies have your best interests in mind. They don’t. They just want you to buy their stuff. If that stuff hurts you or causes sickness or worse they will not help you or even show they care. ALL supplement companies should not be trusted with your health, but you can use supplementation to help garner a better diet and workout recovery. Just do your homework and research on the chemical make-up of the substance you are putting into your body. You should be mindful and doing this anyway…
9)   If you want better workout tips follow some of these channels and/or mine on YouTube. I can recommend a few. My channel mostly just shows some creative workouts you can do but I do not cover a lot of the things I have mentioned here. That is why I put this together for you all. You can always message me with your questions. I am not taking clients because to be honest I cannot give you what you really need and that is time, attention; plus I cannot literally monitor what you do on a given day.
Me – https://www.youtube.com/@mineofilms ATHLEAN-X™ - https://www.youtube.com/@athleanx BodyBuilding.com - https://www.youtube.com/bodybuildingcom BroScienceLife - https://www.youtube.com/@BroScienceLife FitnessBlender - https://www.youtube.com/@fitnessblender Tiger Fitness - https://www.youtube.com/@TigerFitness Mike O'Hearn - https://www.youtube.com/@MikeOHearnTitan
Hope this helps…. Mineo (pronounced Mini-O)
Fitness Tips: 2023 By David-Angelo Mineo 1/13/2023 1,918 Words
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daydreamlng · 4 years
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shurisneakers · 3 years
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harmless (vi)
Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)
Warnings: cursing, existential crisis, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, lil bit of angst, clint barton being a lil shit
Word count: 1.9k
A/N: BUCKY BARNES IS BACK AND HAS A CONFIRMED PERSONALITY 
also omg everyone who’s been sending me ideas- ur the lomls. 
if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333
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Previous Part || Series Masterlist
Your place or mine? ;)
He stares at the text.
The right answer is mine. See you at the lair.
“Y’all are dating now?” Clint peeks over his shoulder. 
“Fuck no,” Bucky says indignantly. “God forbid.”
“Okay, man,” he retracts, giving Bucky space to turn around and face him. “What do you want to call your mini dates then?”
“Missions,” Bucky corrects him.
“No one wants to go on a mission. You volunteered to go back there.” 
“It’s for the good of the tristate area.” 
“I bet.” The snort he lets out contradicts his words. “Whole world is depending on you, Barnes. Go save them from the treachery of your crush.”
“Enemy.”
“Girlfriend.”
“Mortal nemesis.” Bucky narrows his eyes at him. “Go further, I dare you.”
“What are you gonna do? Choke me? Punch me with your metal arm?” Clint cranes his neck. “Bring it, big boy. I’m not scared of some kinky shit.”
He hates living here. 
The door is left open for him. 
This time, even though the lair is still illuminated by the green light out in the front, there’s a minor change. Sunlight streams in through a skylight in the roof. 
There’s a ladder there, leaning against the rim. It gives him an entrance to the roof, which, judging by the lack of any other presence in the lab, is where he’s supposed to go.
As he gets closer he notices there’s a note on one of the rungs.
‘Evil’ with an arrow pointing upwards.
He rolls his eyes, discarding it on the floor before swiftly scaling the steps.
“Ah, Mr. Barnes,” he hears your voice call out even before his head pops up above the surface. “We’ve been expecting you.” 
He pauses, looking around. “Who’s with you?”
Because other than the gigantic machine pointed up towards the sky, there’s only you with a visor and sunglasses. The  best way he can describe its design was that it was shaped like a pine cone, had a large antenna pointed towards the sky, two handlebars near its base to manoeuvre it with a large button in between them. 
“Just imagine I have my henchmen with me,” you urge. “I’m on a budget, man, I can’t afford them yet. Maybe when my cloning machine finally works-”
He doesn’t answer.
“It’s a James Bond reference,” you add when he doesn’t show any signs of answering. 
“Haven’t watched it yet.” Bucky shrugs. “We’re doing Star Trek right now.”
“You’re done with Star Wars?” you, receiving a nod in confirmation. “Nice. You’d find the spy shit ridiculous anyway, it’s way below your level.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He makes a mental note to add the Bond movies to the list. 
“Speaking of stars,” you begin, gesturing to the machine. “I’m going to harness the power of the sun.”
“For what?” He doesn’t bother asking how, he already knows you’ve figured out something. 
“There’s a science exhibition and my team’s stupid solar car experiment isn’t working and I need it for them to win.” 
“So build a better one.” 
“No, ours is the best and if Jeff and his stupid baking soda volcano beat us then we’re going to have a murder on our hands.”
“Your hands,” he emphasises. He has nothing to do with this.
“I said what I said, boy.” You glare at him. “This is our problem now.”
“How much power are you taking?” If it’s insignificant enough, it wouldn’t matter much. He thinks. 
“The whole thing.”
He laughs. He stops when you don’t.
“You’re taking all the energy of the sun to power your shitty science model.”
“Your face is a shitty science model,” you mimic him in a higher pitched voice. “I will do anything to win.”
He wonders which grade kid you stole that insult from was in. There’s no way they were anything older than 13. He could use it on Steve, maybe.
“Everyone on Earth will die.” He feels the need to remind you, even though there was no way it was actually going to take place. Eat shit, Clint. This superseded the tristate area.
“Not for eight minutes.” You look at your watch. “And, if Jeff dies then I win by default.”
“You’ll die too,” he points out. 
“I’ll die a winner.” You nod seriously as if that makes it better. 
He’s not that worried. Experience tells him that you’re not a mass murderer willingly. 
“You’ll die an idiot.” 
“Only if you don’t stop me.” Your lips curve into a smile. “And how will you when I do this?”
You yank the machine to point towards him and slam the button. His hand reflectively pulls in front of him to defend himself. Something hits him with enough force to send him skidding backwards slightly. 
He removes his hand carefully from in front of him, looking at you. 
Something feels off.
“You just-”
The knives strapped to his thighs suddenly feel heavier.
“Took your powers?” you finish his thought. “Yeah.”
He feels his body tip towards his left. He’s suddenly very aware of the weight of the arm. Had it been this heavy all this while? 
“You’ve barely changed,” you noted, “You’re just regular Bucky but like, 20% less beef.”
After all, he was a boxer when he was a teen. One of the best men the Howling Commandos had even before the serum.
His shoulder feels heavier though. And somehow he thinks he’s sensing things a little less. He can’t really hear the faint buzzing of the generator downstairs anymore.
“Yep, that’s real muscle.” He turns when you poke at his shoulder. He doesn’t know when you got there. “You’re like a modern day Schwarzenegger. Grade A beefcake.”
He can’t see the construction site near the horizon as clearly as he used to. 
Something about this situation makes him feel like he’s going to have a midlife crisis, even though he’s overshot the age by a huge number. No one has a midlife crisis at 106. 
“Now that we’ve established that this works,” you say, back near the machine again. When did you walk there? “Let’s show this bitch that I’m the brightest star allowed in this solar system.” 
He shakes his head to jolt himself awake, shoves aside his mental dysfunction and breaks out into a sprint when you pull the device down to aim it at the sky. 
He latches onto the side, using his left hand to pull himself up, straddling the machine.
“Excuse me,” you exclaim like it’s a minor inconvenience and he feels the machine sway wildly under him. “You’re weighing it down, get off my inator.”  
You’re shooting recklessly, trying to shake him off. It’s not dissimilar to the mechanical bull Natasha made him ride during a mission down south so she could win money off placing bets on him. They had lobster that night.
He reaches down to its side, hoping to feel maybe a panel he can rip off. He finds nothing.  
He hopes none of the rays are actually hitting anything. It’s a little harder to stay on than he’d imagined it would be, and he thinks that maybe this wasn’t the best plan. 
He changes his mind in a split second, swinging himself over so that he can climb the underside of the machine like a monkey bar. He feels like a fucking insect. How was Peter not mortally embarrassed? 
He factors in the fact that his hands are getting clammier and his grip is slipping faster than usual. Also, he can taste his lunch at the back of his throat.
“Motherfucker,” Bucky curses when his hand slips, leaving him to hold on only by his metal arm. 
“You okay?” you call out, not giving him a second to recover unless he really needed it.
He lets out a grunt, swinging his arm up and catching hold of the antenna, yanking it down and towards the machine itself. He pulls himself up so that he’s straddling the machine again. 
One more shot and-
“Very smart, Barnes,” you say dryly, letting go of the handles. 
He sends you a sly grin before sliding down the barrel, kicking the large button with his heel right before he jumps off. 
The beam shoots out, instantly meeting with metal. The device automatically gives a mechanical groan before powering down, turning off altogether. 
“I hate you,” you huff, before noting his paleness. “D’you want some water? An IV maybe?”
He dismisses it with a wave of his hand, inhaling heavily to catch his breath.
He’s tired, more so than he would have been under any normal circumstance. He feels a little dizzy, a little disoriented. 
“Don’t worry, your magic powers will be back in a few minutes or so.” You examine the bent antenna, pressing the button and sighing when it stands there lifelessly. “Once Jeff wins, I’ll send the dry cleaning receipt to you. You can pay to get the tear stains out of the kids’ outfits.”
“Your tears or theirs?” He’s relieved about the powers returning, he thinks.
“Both, bitch.” Your eyebrow quirks at his retort. Clearly, he had more energy in him than people realised; his brain seemed to be working fine. He was stronger than you thought. Good for him. 
“You’re smart. You’ll figure something out.” He lets out a final exhale before standing up a little straighter. 
“Thanks. It’d be better if you asked your billionaire tech genius to send us something, but okay.”
“It’s a middle school science exhibition. Make a potato battery or something.”
You tsk-tsk. “No points for creativity, Mr. Barnes.”
It creeps into his mind without warning. He wonders if he actually wanted the powers back. Wonders what his life could be if he maybe retired, settled down. For the brief time he feels like his pre-war self, he starts to think like his pre-war self.
“I’m not the one who’s about to lose to a baking soda volcano,” he finds time to respond, however. 
“Your face is a baking soda volcano.” You narrow your eyes at him. “I will not lose.”
“You’re running out of time. Chop chop.”
But the thought hits him. Who is Bucky without his super soldier serum? If he doesn’t have his powers then he can’t think of what use he is to the Avengers.
Who the hell is Bucky if he can’t provide a service to others? How else does he make up for being himself?
His, what he’s now deemed, afterlife crisis is starting to look more apparent.
He compartmentalises and stores it away in a box. He’ll bring it up with his therapist later. 
“I’m going to win and then you’ll be sorry you weren’t a part of it because you didn’t let me steal the sun.” 
“If you win, I’ll still be glad I didn’t let you.” He climbs back down the ladder, feeling the ache in his muscles reduce with every passing minute. 
True to your word, his powers do return a while later. 
And while he’s watching Avatar: The Last Airbender with Peter in the living room two days later, his phone beeps with a text. 
It’s a picture of a blue first place ribbon next to a toy car that looks like it’s powered by a potato battery. Beside it is an out of focus middle finger that is aimed at him. 
Congratulations, he texts back. Told you potato batteries always win.
Your face always wins, he receives in return. He can’t tell if you’re insulting or flirting with him. 
He just shuts his phone off and goes back to watching the show. 
Next part
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What is Real? (Adrenaline Junkie Part 4)
Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17
Spotify Playlist (collaborative)
Warnings: PTSD, memory loss, swearing, angst, panic attack
Word count: 3,509
You opened your eyes to the dim sunlight pouring through your curtains. You tried to move your arms to push yourself up, but strangely your right arm felt incredibly stiff. Furrowing your brows in confusion, you looked down at it. Nothing was off about it, so why was it so stiff? It made no sense. 
With great difficulty, you slowly maneuvered your legs over the side of your bed. Everything felt incredibly stiff, especially your right wing, and your head felt like it was filled to the brim with cotton. Groaning, you heaved yourself off the bed into a standing position. You wobbled slightly on your feet, but you steadied yourself with your nightstand. What was with you today?
Hobbling out of your room with a steadying hand on the wall. You let your wings thump and drag across the ground behind you. You didn’t have the energy to hold them up and your right one felt very off. You should ask Philza to brew you a potion of healing and maybe ask him why you woke up like this. Were you in for a really bad molt?
Stumbling your way down the hallway and dragging your feet, you almost fell over a couple of times. The stairs were going to be a massive pain if you could barely walk down the hall. Your body lurched forward as your foot caught the edge of a rug. You yelped as the ground quickly met your face, your arms not cooperating when you tried to move them to catch yourself. 
Feeling a stabbing pain in your nose, you laid there for a little bit hearing the door next to you swing open. Without looking at him, your scratchy, muffled voice called out.
“Wilby, thank god you’re here. Can you help me up? My legs aren’t working today for whatever reason. I think I’m gonna molt soon.”
He gently pulled you up and wrapped his arms around you in a hug, smooshing your face into his shoulder. You pulled away slightly to look up at him. He was smiling widely at you and his face looked blotchy. Wilbur never cried in front of anyone, so naturally you were incredibly worried for your older brother.
“Wil, are you crying?”
He just pulled you into another tight hug. Hissing in discomfort, you felt him push on your sore muscles.
“Wil, as much as I love you, can you please let me go? Everything feels really sore.”
He pulled away again, giving you a little confused smile. “I’m so sorry, do you want me to take you downstairs? We can get Dad to make you a potion.”
You returned his smile. “I’d appreciate that. But can you carry me? I don’t wanna move anymore.”
“Of course.”
Chuckling, he turned around and crouched gesturing for you to get on his back. A few unsteady moments later, you were successfully on Wilbur’s back and started your much quicker journey downstairs. You rested your cheek on his back and hummed in content. You found comfort in hearing his heartbeat, even if it was beating faster than usual. 
Quickly reaching the couch, he gingerly put you down on it and made sure you didn’t lay on top of your wings. They sprawled behind you over the back of the couch. 
“Stay right here, I’m going to get Dad.”
He walked outside with large strides, leaving you by yourself in the living room. You closed your eyes and pondered why today was so strange. First, you couldn’t move this morning. Second, Wilbur, your collected older brother, was crying. Third, Philza was up and outside. Usually he’s basically unresponsive in the mornings. He would never be up and about this early. 
Opening your eyes when you heard hurried footsteps rushing toward you. Why’d you get déjà vu? Why did you feel so… so scared? Your panicked eyes landed on your dad running towards you with all your brothers following suit. You relaxed seeing your family. But why did they look at you with relief and tears in their eyes? Even Technoblade looked relieved. 
Philza landed on his knees next to the couch before placing a gentle hand on your cheek. His worried blue eyes scanned you and he stared at you with a gentle smile.
“...Hey hun, how are ya feelin’?”
“I’ve had better days. I just feel really stiff, I think I’m going to have a bad molt this year.”
Your brothers looked at each other with confusion. Tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear, Philza crinkled his brows. “Hun, do you not remember what happened? You-”
Tommy interrupted, “You died. SOMETHING KILLED YOU AND YOU RESPAWNED. HOW DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT?”
Flinching back, you deadpanned. “Gremlin, I think I’d remember if I lost one of my lives. My entire body feels like shit, but I sure as hell didn’t die. That’s just absurd.”
Philza gently grabbed your wrist and pulled down your sleeve. Instead of the usual three red hearts that were etched into your skin, only two stared back at you. You stuttered as your brain processed what you saw. You... died? How? Why couldn’t you remember your own death? 
Your thoughts were interrupted as Philza spoke up. “You died, (y/n).”
“I… How?”
Philza pursed his lips together. “You were killed by The Warden. You were out mining.”
You looked at your hands. “Who’s The Warden?”
“It’s a mob that usually spawns in subterranean caves. We’re not exactly sure how you died, but… but you died down there, (y/n). You lost a life.”
You took in a shuddering breath. How could you be so damn careless? Were you falling back into your dangerous stunts phase? Did you get yourself killed? Why couldn’t you remember anything?
“Hun, do you want me to get you a potion for the stiffness?”
“...Yes please.” 
“Tommy, can you please go get them a potion of healing? WIlbur, can you get a glass of water for them?”
Without a word, Tommy and WIlbur ran out of the room, leaving you with Philza and Techno. The piglin hybrid wouldn’t even look at you. Philza ran a comforting hand through your hair as he waited for your brothers to return. 
When they came back, Wilbur helped prop you up so you could drink the potion and water. They soothed your scratchy throat and you felt your body fill up with warmth. It was always nice to drink a healing potion when you were hurt. Most of the stiffness and soreness that was previously rooted deep in your muscles was alleviated and you felt some of your nerves melt away. Now only your right wing was sore. You stretched, feeling a tugging sensation on the skin of your back around the base of your right wing. 
“That’s better. I think I’m going to go shower, I feel absolutely disgusting.”
Not giving your worried family any room to argue with you, you swung your legs over the side of the couch and shakily stood up. Philza tried to help steady you, but you wove him off. If you were weak enough to die, you thought, you needed to prove yourself to your family that you were strong. You needed to do things yourself. 
As you were shakily making your way up the stairs, Philza was following you, probably making sure you don’t kill yourself again. He was fussing over your wellbeing, you did just die and you were acting surprisingly calm about it.
“At least let me help you preen your wing.”
“Dad, I can preen my own wings. I’m 17.”
“I know hun. I just want to help you.”
“Dad. I can do it myself, I’ve been doing it alone since I was 10, and I don’t plan on stopping any time soon.”
Without giving him any more room to try to convince you, you closed the bathroom door in his face. You understood and appreciated that he was worried about you, but you needed to do things on your own if you were going to prove your strength to your family. You were angry that he thought you couldn’t do a simple thing by yourself. You could still hear him breathing from the other side of the door.
Peeling off your jacket, you ran your fingers along your left wing. The feathers were more out of place than usual, you must’ve gotten pretty fucked up by The Warden if they were this messy. After about 10 minutes of frustrated preening, you twisted your torso around slightly to reach for your other wing, but you couldn’t see anything. Why couldn’t you see anything? Your wings were large enough for you to completely wrap your body in them twice and then some, so it didn’t make sense to you. 
Turning around to face the wall across the bathroom mirror, you spread out your wings and craned your head around to look at your right wing. Your eyes were met with a featherless nub that matched your skin tone. An ugly, discolored scar covered the entirety of the right side of your back. Without warning, memories flashed in front of your eyes at rapid fire.
A monsterous being towered over you, standing completely still. You held your breath as it just stood there. It walked away so you started to walk away. Everything lit up as you started to run from the thing chasing you. Blood pounded in your ears as panic engulfed your entire being as you tried to fly away, but you were caught. It effortlessly swung you around as it screamed. You felt your wing rip from your body and you flew across the cave. You couldn’t breathe. What did you do to deserve this?
“../n).”
You reached around to feel your wing, but you only grabbed the bone sticking out of your body. You felt anguish as you realized that you just lost a limb. You watched it drag your wing into the depths of the cave, leaving you completely and utterly alone as you slowly died.
“...(y/n)..”
You were crying in pain as you felt everything that happened crash down on you all at once. You laid there for what felt like hours as you sobbed and dry heaved. You prayed to whatever god was above that you would be put out of your misery soon. You felt as your body slowly got colder and colder. You were drifting in and out of consciousness. You couldn’t breathe. Please, for the love of god, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it sto-
“(Y/N).”
You saw a hazy figure in front of you. You felt someone’s hands gripping your shoulders in a firm grasp, you thrashed about trying to get out of it’s grip. You saw the monster that took your wing from you. The thing that killed you. You threw your arms about blindly in a desperate attempt to land a hit to try and get it to let you go. The only reason it let you go in the cave was when your wing was torn off, was it going to take your arms too?
You felt a smack as your hand collided with what you guessed was its grotesque face. It yelped and jumped back, releasing its grip on you. Its yelp strangely sounded like your dad’s voice. Your mind was probably playing tricks on you, your dad wasn’t here. You needed to get out. You scrambled up to your feet and bolted. You weren’t going to get killed again, especially by that thing. 
“(Y/N)!”
How did it know your name? More importantly, how was it talking to you? You were probably still in the cave bleeding out as your delirious mind turned stone into the comforting walls of your home. You were probably imagining hearing your dad’s voice in a last chance to comfort yourself as you neared your impending doom. 
Running down the hall, you made your way to the stairs. You couldn’t jump over the banister, you would probably break your legs again without both of your wings. Your vision was tunneling as you only focused on how to get out and away from the monster. When you were halfway down the stairs, you saw Tommy sprinting up to you looking panicked. No one deserves to die in the way you did, especially not him. 
“Oh my god, Tommy we need to get you out of here, it’s coming for us.”
He grabbed your shoulders and bent over to look you in the eye, “(y/n), whatever you’re seeing is not real, you-”
“We need to go now!”
He was cut off as you grabbed his hand and drug him down the stairs. You could hear the thing coming closer. It started to come towards you and Tommy. You yanked him along with you as you reached the living room and sprinted towards the front door. You could taste the freedom. It tasted sweet. 
Right as you grasped the door handle, you felt Tommy wrap his arms around your waist and pull you back. What the fuck, did he want to die?
“Tommy, if you don’t let me go now, it’s gonna get us. Please, you don’t wanna die the way I did.”
He said nothing as he turned you around and blocked the doorway with his body. The monster turned the corner and entered your sights. You’d be damned if you let Tommy die. You were determined to protect him even if you ended up dying a second time. 
You puffed up your wing and shifted your body into a stance that you hoped was threatening. Pushing Tommy behind you and shielding him with your wing, you harshly glared at it.
“You fucking bastard, ya here for seconds? Was my wing not enough for you? Well, I’ve got bad news for ya, I won’t let you kill me again. I won’t let you near my brother.”
“(Y/n), it’s me,” it croaked out in your dad’s voice and started to slowly walk towards you, holding its arms up. Why wasn’t it shambling like it did in the cave? You felt more fear well up in your gut as you stepped back.
“You’ve got a lotta audacity to use my father’s voice against me. I’ll rip you to shreds if you step any closer to us. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU.”
It stepped back, it’s mouth impossibly frowning more as more drool pooled from its mouth. Tommy wrapped his arms around yours as he bound you to his chest. Thrashing, you desperately tried to get out of his hold.
“TOMMY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU WANT TO DIE? THAT THING IS RUTHLESS, IT WILL TEAR YOU APART LIMB BY LIMB JUST LIKE IT DID TO ME. DO YOU WANT THAT?”
He once again said nothing. You felt your hair on the top of your head start to dampen. You heard more footsteps running to you. Techno and Wilbur appeared behind the monster. They looked absolutely terrified. Were you going to watch your older brothers die?
Your chest heaved as you looked at them with wide eyes. “Tech, Wil please, for the love of god run while you still can. It’s in front of you.”
They glanced at each other before Wilbur grabbed the monster’s arm. You screamed in horror as it looked at him. To your confusion, Wilbur wasn’t grabbed. He just gently led the monster away into the kitchen.
“I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TOUCH A SINGLE HAIR ON HIS HEAD, YOU’LL MEET A FATE WORSE THAN MINE. I WILL MAKE SURE YOU SUFFER MORE THAN I DID, YOU GODDAMNED FREAK.”
Your hoarse screaming was interrupted as Tommy squeezed you against his chest tighter. Techno slowly approached you, making sure that you saw his every move, and bent over to look you in the eye. Tommy’s arms tightened around you, scared that you were going to lash out at Technoblade.
“(Y/n), The Warden isn’t here. You’re home, you’re not in the cave. You’re safe.”
You studied his face. Was he even real? Was any of this real? He looked real. Then again, everything around you looked real.
“I… Tech, are-are you real? Is any of this real?”
Techno pulled you out of Tommy’s arms and pulled you into his own tight embrace. He pressed a hand on the back of your head and pushed your face into his shoulder, rocking you back and forth. Your forehead tickled where you felt the end of his braid brush against your skin. You started to sob into his chest.
“Tech, I was so scared. I… I thought I was gonna die again. Please don’t let me die.”
“The Warden isn’t here, (y/n). I’m real. The house is real. You are home. No one else is here besides Dad, Wilbur, Tommy, me, and you. You’re safe. We won’t let you die again.”
He repeated the same things over like a mantra. With each reassurance, you felt yourself calm down. Techno’s soothing, monotone voice gave you something that wasn’t too overstimulating to center your focus on. You cried until you didn’t have any tears left to cry. Even after you were done crying, Techno continued to rock you back and forth, caressing your hair on the crown of your head like he did when you were kids. 
The voices in his head have been screaming at him nonstop since he saw that they had lost a life earlier in the day. They were telling him that he was stupid for letting you go mining alone. That he was a failure for letting you die alone. He couldn’t hear his own thoughts. He could only attempt to comfort you while trying to ignore the voices.
Tommy stood stiff at the door watching you two. For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do. His older sibling was always calm and collected. He’s never seen you react like that. He’s never seen you so terrified. You were always the one to comfort him, never the other way around. You were there to give him hugs when he scraped his knee as a child. You were there when he’d have nightmares. You always made sure that he was alright. He was truly stumped.
Meanwhile in the dining room, Philza sat at the head of the table staring blankly at his folded hands placed in his lap. Wilbur had pulled up a chair to sit next to him, rubbing his back in small circles. The two didn’t speak to each other. Instead, they were listening to your heartbreaking sobs as Techno’s deep voice rumbled lowly underneath your sobbing. 
Wilbur didn’t know how to comfort his dad. Hell, he didn’t know how to comfort himself. His little sibling just died, forgot about it, and remembered it in the span of six short hours. Your death must’ve been traumatizing if you were reliving it. He didn’t know how to comfort you, he always was the one, besides Philza, to comfort you when you were upset as a kid. He felt completely lost.
Philza remembered how he felt his heart drop when he heard you start to scream from the other side of the bathroom door. The instinct to comfort his child overpowered his rational thought as he opened the door. He found you curled in on yourself on the ground with your only wing tightly wrapped around you mid panic attack. He asked you multiple times if it was alright to touch you, but you never responded. You just kept your eyes screwed shut. He was crouched in front of you trying to get you out of your trance before he decided to put his hands on your shoulders. That made you finally open your eyes. He tried to give you a smile, but you started to flail your arms. He dodged the best he could, but your movements were too erratic and you ended up smacking him across the face.
He felt so scared for you when you ran away from him in a panic. He thought you were going to hurt yourself when you reached the stairs. He felt like someone tore his heart out and stomped on it when he realized that you were afraid of him. You saw him as your murderer. When you started to threaten him, he saw just how terrified you were of dying again. How terrified you were of him killing you. You didn’t react when tears started to slip down his cheeks. He didn’t care that you were threatening him, he cared that his own child was terrified of him.
At the moment, you were slowly fading out of consciousness in your brother's hold. You felt completely drained physically, emotionally, and mentally. You barely registered Techno picking you up and carrying you up the stairs to your room, laying you on your bed. He even covered your wing with your blanket.
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732 notes · View notes
mandareeboo · 3 years
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SU Music Rankings
Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.
I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.
Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.
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1.) Change
Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 
If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.
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2.) Change Your Mind
This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 
As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.
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3.) Drift Away
This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.
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4.) Here We Are In The Future
THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.
This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.
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5.) Let’s Only Think About Love
Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.
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6.) Here Comes A Thought
This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.
And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.
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7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?
Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!
There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.
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8.) Stronger Than You
Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa
To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.
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9.) Other Friends
I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.
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10.) Independent Together
This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it
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11.) Who We Are
Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.
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12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)
It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 
I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!
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13.) Something Entirely New
I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.
And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.
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14.) I’m Just a Comet
The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.
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15.) Do It For Her
This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”
Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.
Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.
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16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)
I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.
Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.
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17.) Full Disclosure
This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 
The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.
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18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?
I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.
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19.) Tower of Mistakes
This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.
Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.
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20.) On the Run
I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 
The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.
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21.) Be Wherever You Are
This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.
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22.) Familiar
I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.
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23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart
Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one
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24.) What Can I Do?
I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.
Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.
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25.) Cookie Cat
I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”
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26.) Giant Woman
I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 
The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.
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27.) Strong in the Real Way
This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 
And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?
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28.) That Distant Shore
I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.
But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.
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29.) Dear Old Dad
I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.
Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.
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13uswntimagines · 3 years
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Family’s Hard (Kristie Mewis x Reader)
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Request: part 2 of the fic with Kristie that you post today! Maybe something with the r and Kristie both getting call for the national camp and we see a bit of what happen at camp with mal. pt 2. Maybe with both the reader and Kristine on the USENT roster and the fallout with Amal because of the reader being there. part 2 of the reader and mal meet up again joined by the team
Pt. One 
You had never been more unhappy while staring at a plate full of pancakes in your entire existence. You loved your typical practice meal (and your girlfriend of almost a year’s hand on your thigh while you ate it), but you weren’t enjoying the disapproving glare you were getting from across the table. She had been like this the moment you stepped off the plane, and you feared she wouldn’t stop until camp was over. 
It wasn’t like you decided to sit at this table to annoy Mal. Kristie wanted to sit with Sam, and you weren’t about to brave the dining room all by your little lonesome (plus you liked the team's Tower of Power and enjoyed watching the siblings banter).
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, pushing your chocolate chip pancakes around the plate, and keeping your eyes trained on your fork. 
“You ok?” Your girlfriend asked, her lips caressing your ear. You didn’t miss the way your older sister's nose scrunched at the looseness between you and the older midfielder. 
“Just tired. The flight from Houston was super long,” You mumbled, shrugging lightly. 
“You sure?” Kristie nudged your cheek with her nose and squeezed your thigh. You had been jittery since you left your shared apartment in Houston to head for camp and no amount of reassuring from your girlfriend seemed to be helping. 
“Psh. The flight home from France was exhausting, and then we had to get ready for good morning America. That was crazy, right Sammy?” Mal said with a wicked smile, completely cutting you off. Your mouth clicked shut and Kristie squeezed your thigh again (her jaw working overtime to prevent the scathing comment from leaving the tip of her tongue). 
Mal had been impossible since you stepped foot into the hotel the USWNT had commandeered for camp. She had swung between outright bitchy and underhanded reminders of Jill's preference of her over you all day and Kristie was getting sick of it. Your shoulders slouched a little more with every remark, every jab clouding over a little bit more of your sunshine. 
“That was pretty crazy,” Sam nodded, watching you and her sister carefully. She was trying to run as much interference as she could, but it seemed your sister wanted to make you as uncomfortable as possible. Almost like she was trying to drive you off the team. 
“Definitely not as crazy as that party right after we won. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much champagne in my entire life. Not even after we beat Texas,” Mal added, and you shivered at the memory, wilting under her glare. 
It was your freshman year (and coincidentally Mal’s senior year), and the first time the two of you had ever really played against each other. UCLA decimated your team and took over a frat house to celebrate. From what you heard, it was one of the biggest parties Texas A&M had ever seen. 
Kristie sighed, wrapping the arm that was on your leg around your back, rubbing soothing circles. You leaned into the touch, still playing with the food on your plate, trying to hold your tongue and not rise to Mal’s prodding. 
“From what I hear there was a lot of alcohol after Houston won the challenge cup,” Sam nodded, sharing a look with her sister and side-eyeing her friend. 
“That was just beer, Sammy. It wasn’t as classy because no one cares about an arbitrary chaos cup win, especially after we won the World Cup. It’s all about scale,” Mal continued, completely ignoring the glare Kristie had pointed at her, enjoying the way you were squirming in your chair. 
You shoved your plate away, giving up on eating. You didn’t want to be here. 
“I'm sure. I’m gonna go. The uniform staff wanted to see me anyway,” You mumbled, just loud enough for Kristie to hear you (or so you thought). 
Mal’s vicious smile grew. She just couldn’t seem to help herself when it came to you. You were always chasing after her, and this time she had done what you couldn’t. She wasn’t ready to give that up yet. 
“I’d tell you to switch names, but all I can suggest is to pick a number you can actually live up to,” She sneered. 
Your entire being froze and you blinked owlishly at your older sister (taking comfort in how Kristie's arm tightened around you). 13 had been your number since high school, but you knew that Alex was a vet and you weren’t stupid (or disrespectful) enough to even dream of trying to take it. You knew you would never be even close to the level of Alex Morgan. 
You had accepted that and Instead chosen a different number, one you were proud to wear. You had no control over the last name on your jersey (until Kristie and you decided you wanted to get married, if you wanted to get married, and that was still pretty far off). 
“Come on. They wanted to do a quick check-in with me too,” Kristie said, standing and dragging you with her out of the room, her eyes sending daggers towards your sister. She was done watching you collapse back into yourself. 
****
Sam stared at Mal’s Cheshire Cat grin, her mouth agape. She didn’t understand why your older sister was being like this, or how she could continue eating as though she didn’t just rip you apart. (And at this rate someone had to stop her before Kristie killed her). 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sam said, leaning forward and resting both elbows on the table. 
Mal shrugged, taking another sip of her orange juice. “What? I’m just being realistic,”
If you didn’t want to hear stories about their triumph at the World Cup, or how awesome the party was afterward, you could just find yourself a new seat (and take your girlfriend with you- you always did have to outdo her). 
“You were a little harsh babe,” Rose said softly, patting the forward's hand. 
Sam scoffed loudly, shaking her head. “She practically crumbled under that last comment,”
It was painful to watch your shy bean self withdraw back into the shell her sister worked so hard to crack. Even if you had Kristie here to support you, she wasn’t sure how long you would last without bursting into tears or getting into a screaming match with your sister. You were under enough pressure as it was. 
“She’s just overly sensitive. If she wants to play in the big leagues she’s going to have to learn to stand up for herself,” Mal rolled her eyes. 
It was a going joke in your family that Mal got the brains and beauty, while you just got the leftover emotions. Ever since you were kids, she had been the extroverted one saving you from bullies and being the “good example” that her parents wanted her to be. But this was her thing, and she didn’t want you horning in on it. (It was also a slight protective instinct too. She would rather be the one giving you shit than the media. They were ruthless and you would probably never forgive her. The road to hell was paved with good intentions after all.)
Sam sighed, taking in how Mal’s eyes tighten just a touch beneath her nonchalance. As much as she wanted to pretend she didn’t care about you, it was obvious that she did. The questions now were if she was willing to have a change of attitude and if she would even be able to repair the damage she had already done. 
“Just be careful with how far you push her, alright?” Sam said thoughtfully. 
Mal rolled her eyes again, any care she may have felt disappearing. “I know what I’m doing Sam,” 
“I really hope you do, because I remember what it was like to always be trying to live up to your older sister and how difficult that was. And Kristie knew when to cut me some slack,” Sam said, raising her eyebrow at the younger woman. 
She really hoped she could get through to her before Mal lost you, and Kristie kicked her head off. 
*****
You sighed into Kristie's lips, enjoying the way her hips pinned you to the wall and her tongue explored your mouth. You weren’t one for public displays of affection, but she had dragged you into an abandoned corner of the hotel after your sister's clear display of disdain. 
You guessed an upside to being at camp with Mal was your girlfriend's desire to cheer you up. You always responded better to physical contact (which was why Kristie used it to help you calm down all the time). 
You hummed as the hands under your shirt made their way up to cup your cheeks, her fingers tangling in the baby hairs at the back of your neck. She let the kiss continue for another minute, before pulling back, so her lips were just barely ghosting over your own and your foreheads were touching. 
You futilely tried to push off the wall and chase her lips, only for her to chuckle and pull back so you couldn’t reach, keeping you pinned with her hips. 
“Ah, no more kisses until you say it,” She mumbled, her breath fanning across your lips. 
You whined. You loved how supportive Kristie was, but you didn’t want to do this right now. You didn’t want to go through your normal reaffirmation routine. Not after the shots, Mal had taken at you. 
“But-“
Kristie chucked at the keening whine again, shaking her head (both at how adorable your pout was and because she was standing her ground). She learned a long time ago that the best way to stop your mental spiraling was for you to say how worth it you were. “No buts. To get what you want you gotta say it,” 
You huffed, I ally opening your eyes to look into Kristie’s determined blue. She raised her eyebrow at you. 
“I’m an amazing person, no matter what anyone says,” You mumbled, looking away from your girlfriend. She hummed, using her thumb to tilt your chin back up. 
“And?” She asked, a smile playing on her lips. Your pout deepened. You were set to start and Mal had made you feel bad about it. Now Kristie was trying to get you to admit that you deserved the opportunity. 
The two of you stared at each other for a long minute, and you debated in trying to get back to the kissing again, to not say the last part of your mantra. Kristie's thumb ran soothingly over your cheek as if she was reading your mind. “Come on babe,” she said softly. 
You bit your lip, finally giving in. “I shouldn’t feel guilty about opportunities I receive,”
“Good,” Kristie smiled, leaning back in to connect your lips. You smiled back into the kiss. Maybe things weren’t so bad if you got this treatment after your sister was mean to you, even if Kristie was trying to get you to finally confront her about her behavior. “And for the record, you can always say you’ll have a cooler last name later,” 
*****
This was getting out of hand. Very out of hand. You hit the ground again, your face scraping against the turf after another bad tackle. You groaned, pushing yourself up off the turf and brushing yourself off, ignoring the hand of the defender in front of you in favor of taking the hand your girlfriend offered. 
Kristie glared at the blond defender, very pissed off that she was pushing you so hard. “Fucking watch it Sonnett, another tackle like that and I’ll beat your ass myself,” Your girlfriend growled, brushing a stray piece of turf off your back. 
Emily shrugged, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck. “Just trying to test the Rookie. Need to make sure she can handle a little pressure,” 
She liked you, but with the pressure, Mal was putting n you, she thought that they were all going to go hard. To show you exactly how difficult this game could be and how much you needed to work to be on their level. 
“I think Mal is doing enough of that on her own,” Kristie raised her eyebrow at the woman, still rubbing the turf off your back and cringing at the new burn. If this hadn’t been a teammate’s doing, she probably would have killed them by now. Ripped them limb from limb for touching you, but you didn’t need that. You needed her support and not her overprotectiveness. 
“She actually needs to be able to play against Canada,” Sam said, patting her back. Emily shook her head. Mal was right. She would rather be the one to go hard on you and prepare you than some random defender who didn’t care at all. 
As far as she was concerned, Mal’s plan was still in effect and you were going to have to pull some trick to get past her again. 
****
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Kristie threaded a ball through the gap between Becky and Julie, straight to you. You turned, taking advantage of the gap in the backline, dribbling across to try and get a clear shot. 
You didn’t see that gap collapsing. You didn’t see Emily and Midge racing towards you until it was too late. There was a loud crunch as you were caught between the two defenders, and tumbled to the ground. 
The reaction from the rest of the team was instant. Kristie raced over, followed closely by Sam. Both women kneeling down next to you, trying to get you to roll over. It seemed that another blue blur was already laying into the two defenders. 
“Lay the fuck off my sister,” Mal yelled, shoving Sonnett back from where her shifting form was standing over you. 
Emily held her hands up in defense, stumbling away from you. “I’m just trying to keep the intensity up, exactly like you are,” 
Mal growled audibly, stepping up to the taller defender and wrapping her fist into her shirt. “It’s different. She’s my sister and I’m the only one who gets to fuck with her. Got it,” she said her voice deadly calm. 
Emily nodded rapidly, her eyes wide as Mal straightened her shirt, patting her shoulder. Emily backed away slowly, her hands still extended, terrified that Mal (and your girlfriend) would decide to actually kill her. 
Mal nodded once the offending defenders were far enough away from you, before turning in your direction. 
You were finally on your feet, shifting awkwardly and rubbing the back of your neck. 
“Thanks,” You mumbled as she approached. 
She smiled, pulling you into a very strange hug.“You got it, kid. I love you, even if you’re not as good as me yet,”
She let you go and winked. You smiled and trotted off back to your position, warmth filling you. Sure you weren’t on the best terms, but you were sisters and the act was like a white flag. A truce. 
Kristie caught Mal’s arms as she passed. “Learn to lay off a little bit. I don’t want to have to hurt you,”
Mal nodded. You were family mad the only one who got to mess with you was her. She would kill anyone else who tried and she was glad you had gained two protectors. 
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Ahhhh I just submitted an ask for the Drabble game but I panicked over something I forgot for work and submitted it without a character. So! 13 and 27 with Anakin and Obi-Wan.
ani darling you probs forgot about this ask and for that I Am Sorry but HERE IT IS,,,,, HOWEVER MANY MONTHS IN THE MAKING,,,,,, ive been depressed haha hehe :')
but then i also just now realized that i wrote the wrong prompt to rip me ::'')) its still a good prompt tho and i think i just got that stuck in my head bc it was a good prompt
27 Seeing each other for the first time in a while
13 “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”
War was hard.
What a stupid thing to say, it was obvious, but it was hard. It killed, it spread disease, it separated people who should never have to be separated -- war was the epitome of all evil in Anakin's opinion.
He rarely, if ever, was at the temple these days, and if he was, he was sleeping in his quarters if at all possible. If he wasn't sleeping, he was thinking of the people closest to him. Padme, who was so often stuck in senatorial meetings that the best they could do was a quick comm call in the same time zone for once. Ahsoka, his padawan, who should be spending more time in the temple learning than on the front, risking her life for a society that barely cared about her.
And Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan...
Anakin stared at the plaster inches from his face and tried not to miss the heat of Obi-Wan behind him in bed as much as he actually was.
Anakin had rolled himself quite effectively into a blanket wrap and then tucked himself into the corner made by the bed and the wall, blocking out everything he possibly could. Everything was so loud today, so incomprehensible, so oppressive that all Anakin wanted to do was stuff his ears with cotton and blindfold himself in the hopes that it would deaden his senses.
What did it all matter anyway, he thought. There's no end in sight to this stupid gods forsaken war, just more death.
The more he let himself get into his head the more dour he became, the more he wanted to punch the plaster in front of him until it crumbled and was nothing but dust.
The entrance that lead into his living room opened and someone stepped in, light footsteps almost too quiet to hear. A soft knock on his door sounded, and he almost wanted to ignore it but knew his padawan could tell he wasn't in the best mood and was likely going to do her best to cheer him up.
"What do you want, Ahsoka," he asked, turning to flop onto his back.
"Not Ahsoka," came the answer, in a voice that Anakin hadn't heard in far too long. He hadnt heard that voice in person in 5 months, a tenday, and three days, and now there he was.
He hardly dared to actually voice his hope. "Is it-- Obi-Wan?" His voice cracked in the middle, finishing one sentence before it even began.
"Hello, dear one," Obi-Wan said as he opened the door. "Is it okay if I come in?"
"Please," Anakin said, couldn't say fast enough really. "Obi-Wan."
"I'm here, darling," he replied, coming to sit on the edge of the bed.
Anakin dove for him, colliding with his abdomen.
Obi-Wan let out a soft grunt, but wrapped his arms around Anakin softly, one hand tangling in his hair and stroking through the curls. "I know, my love, I know."
"I can't, I-- everything hurts."
"I'm right here, Anakin," he said, stroking down his back. "What do you need?"
"I don't -- I don't know, I just -- I want you Obi-Wan."
"I can do that, my love," Obi-Wan said, still stroking up and down his back. "I couldn't wait to get back to you, Anakin, I hope you know that."
Anakin nodded into his stomach, fully aware that they both had missed each other, no matter what some parties may try to say. Obi-Wan would never turn away from Anakin, he knew that better than anything else.
Obi-Wan slowly but surely readjusted the two of them until they were both laying on the bed, Anakin tucked into his side, where he was meant to be, where he hoped to stay a good portion of the rest of the day.
"Tell me what you're thinking right now?" Anakin asked, voice barely more than a whisper.
"I'm thinking of gardening," Obi-Wan said.
"Hm?" Anakin hummed, tone interested.
"I haven't decided yet what I want to plant around our house, when the war is over."
House? When the war was over?
"What do you mean?"
"I thought -- Anakin, I thought you wanted to leave the order when the war was over, we've talked about it," Obi-Wan said and looked down at him.
"Yeah, me leaving the order. Not you," Anakin said. "You're -- you're a Jedi."
"Anakin, how could you think I wouldn't leave with you, wouldn't leave for you?" He asked, inching down until they were face to face, noses centimeters apart. "My love, why would I let you leave to be alone for the rest of your life?"
Anakin shrugged. "Because it's what I deserve for wanting to leave the order."
Obi-Wan smiled sadly and cupped Anakin's cheek. "My love, you never deserve sadness, or heartbreak. Wherever you go, I will be soon after."
"Really?" Anakin asked, voice faltering.
"Really," Obi-Wan responded, voice stronger than ever.
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