#steam of consciousness

[mimocrocodilelol]

Get Bad!Futured idiot!

#steam of consciousness #not au #just thoughts #my art #rottmnt #the rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #imadesomething #save rottmnt #rise of the tmnt fanart #rise donnie #rise donnatello #bad future timeline #rise donatello #silly doodles #save the rise of the tmnt #save rise fo the tmnt #unpause rottmnt #rottmnt donatello #click for quality cause mobile is stupid #if you see any mistakes no you don't #:]

[patsmassivekeychain]

Ok more coherent thoughts now. I can already see how this ending is probably going to be divisive and to an extent I understand why. Before it aired, I wasn't keen on the idea of the show ending like this. People don't like endings where the found family go their separate ways, except that isn't really what's happening here. And I think the way they did it was perfect.

Alison has come in and completely turned these ghosts' unlives around. She's given them purpose, connections with the outside world and each other, and above all a lack of boredom. Boredom is one of the main existential challenges the ghosts face. Alison isn't abandoning them to what they had before she came - she's leaving them with the tools to actually live rather than just exist after her.

And she's not gone forever! Families don't have to live together to be family. She comes back and visit them regularly! Maybe it's just because I moved out from my parents' in the last few years and I'm back for Christmas, but her being a regular at the hotel, coming back and visiting them at least every Christmas (maybe more) was very moving to me. Just because she's moved out doesn't mean they're not still family.

Having it become a hotel is a nice bookend and I bet it's improved the ghosts' quality of unlife a lot. As I said, their biggest challenge has always been boredom. A hotel/golf course probably isn't at all boring. How many affairs do you think Julian has watched? It's perfect for them, with all the people coming and going. I bet they even stage the odd haunting for fun. A constant, varied existence is a great fate for them.

Ending the episode with the plague ghosts was PERFECT. Obviously, it was great to see them again and it was hilarious as they always are. But it struck me just how much this decision has improved their situation - they've gone from dingy cellar to sauna. And that's the analogy of how much things have improved for all the ghosts.

Change is scary. It's sad when things come to an end. But sometimes it's for the best. And an end doesn't always mean a closed door.

#bbc ghosts #ghosts spoilers #ik i said more coherent and then just wrote a blob of steam of consciousness #but this episode WAS sad and devastating #i hope this makes people feel a bit better about it #if at least one person feels better ill be happy

[grendelsmilf]

i enjoy the afterparty for its conceit of framing each episode from the perspective of a different character in an entirely different genre (or even medium, in zoe’s case), i like a lot of the actors in it (especially sam richardson and ben schwartz), and i think the comedy and character building is enjoyable and smart. but it’s also perfect example of the reactionary assumptions of its genre by its very nature, as a “whodunnit”/murder mystery.

it showcases every ideological flaw with this genre to the point that it almost seems like self-parody (but alas, it isn’t). the detective on the case is a brilliant underdog who demonstrates the necessity of the police despite the unfortunate existence of “bad cops” who act in opposition to the work of “good cops.” the murderer is figured out by this heroic cop who doesn’t play by the rules and “brought to justice,” where they will rot in prison for doing violence to a member of the elite whose murder is high profile due to his status.

as the plot unfolds, we are given more and more reasons to despise the murder victim to the point where knowing that someone will be convicted and punished for killing him makes us far sadder for the killer than the victim, and yet of course our conclusion remains as it always does: solving the case is more important than the humanity of those involved, and the brilliant detective who condemned someone to an inhumane carceral system, who will surely be further mistreated for killing a member of the elite, is viewed as a hero for being good at her job of enforcing state violence.

ironically, in the flashback episode, we see the police framed as enacting state violence against a black teenager at the behest of the future murder victim, who is shielded from the same punishment due to being the son of a wealthy capitalist. surely, the show would not give us this scene, this entire episode, if we were not meant to critique the foundational violence upon which this genre is built? and yet the season still ends with the good cop prevailing, and the killer arrested.

i watched gosford park the other day, and it is a perfect satire of the whodunnit genre, challenging every assumption that the afterparty fails to even question. the murder is not the inciting incident; in fact, in happens over halfway through the movie. once it does, nothing really changes, everyone is just now slightly hassled by the presence of police, who fail to solve the case in a shocking turn to anyone remotely familiar with the genre. we, as the audience, know who the murderer is, at least somewhat, and we do not, nor any of the characters, have any desire to see him punished for it.

like in the afterparty, the murder victim is a member of the elite who benefits from inherited wealth, although the exploitation he commits as a capitalist and a misogynist who does not value the lives of his workers, his staff, or the lives of his bastard children born from his exploited female workers, is far more direct and harmful. his son happened to have a personal motivation in wanting him dead, but any of his workers could have poisoned or stabbed him and their resentment would have been understandable. the inept detective claims that there is no need in interviewing his staff, as only those (upstairs) who actually knew him are valid suspects.

in the final scene of the movie, the old matriarch played by maggie smith says to her maid that she hopes that she doesn’t have to testify in court, because it would be awful for someone to be imprisoned over something you said. it’s perhaps the only considerate, empathetic thing she says the entire movie.

while marketed as a murder mystery and lambasted by some for not being effective in its execution of the genre, the movie only really uses the whodunnit aspect as a vehicle for its larger commentary on exploitation and violence (against women, against the colonized, and foremost against workers). while the elites who profit off the imperialist violence of the british empire and exploit their servants who wait on them hand and foot (sometimes sexually) are only vaguely affected by individual violence occurring to them (in the form of retribution for their sins), they effect mass violence and glibly discuss it over a seven course dinner.

gosford park not only subverts the genre in obvious ways such as portraying the detective as incompetent and obtuse who fails to catch the culprit, but by directly interrogating the fundamental pillars of the genre, foundations which go unquestioned as the basic scaffolding of the mystery genre, but are in fact rotten to the core.

#o #the afterparty #(please keep in mind ive only seen s1 so far) #gosford park #the more i think about this movie the more i appreciate it #also you don’t have to have seen either to read this post #please read this post actually #it’s quite steam of consciousness but also. im proud of it?

[kithj]

tired of the obsession with "ethical" vampires and also "good" vampires who don't eat.

i think there's a lot to be said about fatphobia and the glamorization of EDs in vampire media, particularly in more modern depictions... i don't want to place the blame solely on twilight because this was happening way before the 2000s but i do think that had a huge impact with meyer's weird obsession and unwillingness to depict the vampires as anything other than thin and pale (and her singular fat aka tall and curvy vampire is described as "intensely feminine" and we don't have time to unpack all of that in this post)

saying that vampire venom "melts the fat" off of people, or that the vampire venom turns a person into their "ideal self" - who is the one saying my ideal self would be skinny? why is that the ideal at all?

i also just find it soooo fucking boring to neuter your vampires in this way. the whole point is to explore these deep desires and impulses and especially in romance these power imbalances that come from human/vampire relationships. i find the "good" vampire to be such a cop out. why even make them a vampire. twc vampires are just glorified super soldiers that work for the government. twilight vampires are just a bunch of mormon models. there's no real substance to them. even if you wanted to make an argument about edward, it falls flat because stephanie meyer doesn't write him intentionally, she genuinely thinks this shit is romantic & isn't ever really interested in exploring their age gap or edward's hunger.

i think interview with the vampire (the show) approaches the "good" vampire in an interesting way with louis. the decision to make him a gay black man adds so much to his desire to be "good" (accepted) and there's more to it than just him not wanting to eat humans; he's worried about the way the world will perceive him. and he still has so much love for claudia despite how different they are and the things she's done (but ultimately he still chooses lestat over her!!!) and he tries to influence daniel's perception of her, too. i also like that they still actually show him eating, versus the cullens, who i don't ever recall being shown on screen (or in the book) eating anything.

when i write about the hunger in blood choke, i worried about how people would react to the hunting scenes in ch2. overall, way more positively than i expected. there's a lot more i want to expand on especially in the next chapter, and i worry about how it may look right now in the game's unfinished state. i don't want the hunger to be something bad, at least not at its core. everyone is hungry. everyone eats. and i wanted to make it so the vampires in my world could not just opt out of it. they can't eat animals, they can't sustain on blood alone, they have to eat.

when it comes to the mc, they struggle with the hunger, but it's more than that. like with louis, it's the combination of that visceral hunger but also being gay and gender nonconforming, someone who has always been an outcast in society struggling to find their way back in after having their memories and sense of self completely wiped clean. their hunger is a manifestation of this idea they have of their past self - the potential for them to become the next Standard - and their physical/sexual desire that they repressed for so long now untethered due to their lack of memories as well as waking up in a more accepting world.

i think this is a much more interesting way to approach the hunger as opposed to painting the actual act of eating as inherently evil. in twilight, all the good vampires don't eat, even when bella is a human she doesn't eat. in dracula, lucy is only ever good when she doesn't eat. and when she does eat, she becomes an evil, indulgent sexual demon that is a threat to all men and she has to be destroyed.

female vampires always get the worst of it; they are sexual deviants, they want to kill all men, they asked for it, they're disgusting and vile for desiring anything from food to sex to independence. this of course goes way back; again, look at lucy. even in more "progressive" vampire media like bit, the lesbian vampire is evil, hates all men, and is tricking and seducing her female companions into it.

it's interesting to see how far back these trends go. dracula and carmilla all the way up to the modern depictions today. the "good" vampire narrative almost never works; i think because the idea of what is "good" is always going to be influenced by the person creating it. edward is not a "good" vampire. he is a 108 year old man who preys on a teenage girl; this should have been far more important to his character than whether or not he, as a vampire, drinks human blood. but instead he's considered good because he only eats deer and he's skinny and white and looks like a model, and because stephanie meyer says he is.

i don't write all this to say that these topics can't be explored (twilight is terrible for many other reasons, and i think iwtv does do it well) but just to point out why, in my opinion, the "good" vampire is usually such a weak narrative. who decides what is good? and there are other ways to explore the themes of desire and humanity than just restricting their diet... just because your vampire doesn't eat humans does not make them automatically good. and to be frank no vampire will ever be ethical!!! that's the point!!!!

#hello. can anyone hear me #this is just a steam of consciousness rant. i dont know #also i still have like 2 or 3 episodes of iwtv left so 🙉 #this was inspired by a video i watched on youtube the other day and also people complaining abt twc on the reddit again #and that post going around about how its probably way worse to steal blood from a blood bank than to just drink it from someone LOL #where people then recommend increasingly unethical ways for them to be ethical #like feeding on prisoners (jfc) or tricking people in a spa #even the hotel in blood choke is unethical. i wrote it that way. i purposefully made it so the woman changed her mind #but the mc nor hana care #anyways. sorry im watching a lot of vampire stuff lately lmfao #and im still disappointed by bit i will never get over it #ed tw

[brooklynisher]

1. Saw the length of the video and wondered if Spine was actually going to say anything nice about GG (Answer: Not really. Had a few things to say about Spider-Man though.)

2. GG has multiple bodies

#idk if he was referring to Delilah or what but hey that’s pretty freaky #it sounds about right #curious to know how the bots deal with her when she’s giant #TBF in the first Radio Adventure episode I automatically aussumed GG was giant for some reason #the big booming voice and the nervousness from the bots about her other features made me think she was massive though I know she’s small #so maybe it’s that #or maybe he’s referring to that time she turned into a dragon #IDK #point is #GG can be giant if she wants to #I like to think that she only has the choice between her tiny body and her massive body #so she chooses her tiny body for the sake of convenience #now imagine if she manages to get her consciousness into that tiny little figurine too #then how many bodies will she have?? #steam powered giraffe #spg #the spine spg #gg the giraffe #my stuff

[calamarispiderart]

blehh

#my art #soul #chonny jash #snzzz #im so tired #in my dream...i sang an elaborate song #as i burnt my skin on lava and formed a steam train from the burning land #everything was whitehot and i was trapped by circumstance #my sleep in never rest. just a transfer of consciousness to another realm #anyway #i hope you guys like soul

[toasteaa]

No thoughts, just emotionally distant (yet surprising fragile) men realizing they're in love with you:

Dainsleif lies to himself when he pushes a stray hair away from your sleeping face. The slight tremble in his fingers betrays him - how could you sleep so soundly, so peacefully, with a man (or what remains of a man; he's much more a living curse than a man in his own eyes) as dangerous as him next to you? How could you allow yourself to be so vulnerable and free? He doesn't know and frankly, he can't bring himself to care too much. Not when the steady lull of your breathing and the calming warmth of your body near his has him feeling a semblance of peace so close its nearly tangible. Will he admit he's in love with you? Absolutely not - how could he face the possibility that you don't feel the same?

Kaeya supports you as you babble on about the holidays. Had he known you couldn't handle your liquor, he would have drank a little less and stayed a little more self aware. But here he was: inches away from you, only a few days after he made the startling realization that he, perhaps, may have feelings for you. Feelings that he, as the Calvary Captain, should not have for you. You're as adorable in your drunken state as he is hopelessly enamored with your joy at the snowflakes beginning to fall from the night sky and he can only hope and pray that you do not remember the kiss he foolishly took from you in the alley only a few feet from Angel's Share.

To say Xiao ignores your frantic fretting over him whenever he returns to Wangshu Inn is to say that a mountain ignores the river rushing through it. He acknowledges everything you say in his own way; greeting each new worry with a brief nod and abrupt reassurance. On the outside, he's nearly motionless as you work to patch up another set of injuries he's sustained. On the inside however, his heart thrums faster than it ever has in battle. How is it that someone so gentle and fragile (an opinion you've debated Xiao on frequently and addressed your Vision each time he brings up his karmic debt) could weather an adeptus as far removed from humanity as himself? He does not know, but he will not question it. After all, the mountain will eventually give in to the power of the river's flow.

#toast talks #genshin impacted #genshin impact #dainsleif x reader #kaeya x reader #xiao x reader #genshin x reader #there was gonna be more but I ran out of steam and also took a double dose of melatonin whoops #man I should stop doing these right before bed but that's when my self consciousness is at its lowest and I can post freely #You get pure unfiltered yearning toast after like...10 pm lmao #I know Tighnari isn't here trust me I'm shocked too #He'll be on the next one I prommy

[rawliverandgoronspice]

genuinely curious, since my previous interactions with the zelda fandom were really secluded, happened a very long time ago, and also were not international: was the "liking/dissecting ganondorf's character/his place in the series is morally unnacceptable" trend as prevalent before totk? was this always a Thing or did it pick up steam after the release?

venerable fandom elders, I am interested in your wisdom. 🙏

#thoughts #ganondorf #tloz #I assume it picked up Some steam because he just returned into the conversation and the general consciousness #after 17 years of absence #but still pretty curious about any history and context I might be missing here as a sort-of-newcomer #of course it's not the Whole Fandom it's a pretty low occurence etc #but it popped up enough times and with enough vitriol to raise both my eyebrows at this point #like my blog isn't that big so I assume bigger blogs have it worse? #vOv #should have stuck to the “man silly + goofy + mwah” but I'm very very bad at these kind of posts!!!! :(((( #the curse of being Serious about Everything All the Time..........

[owlyspirit]

I keep thinking about the fucked up family tree of Glenn man

So Merryl Streep is his grandpa and Bill Close his dad, that’s chill

He was married to his wife Morgan Freeman, she died, but later she is alive again but her being alive also = not his wife and actually never was bc magic~

But that means his son Nick Close used to be his child and suddenly just was not and instead he later becomes his step dad actually

Bc at some point Nick gets a new dad bc time gets rewritten where a dude called Jodie Foster married his wife Morgan Freeman before he can and becomes Nick‘s biological dad, also Jodie is his brother now I guess??? And bc Jodie is a demon of hell and bc of magic he is now Glenn’s brother this means woops Glenn is a demon!

Luckily his rat son Nick jr is easy to explain because that was a rat he adopted in prison and who helped him escape it

The he gets back together with Morgan and she isn’t married to Jodie anymore. So now Nick who used to be his son, was then his nephew, is now his step son

His step son had a child with Cassandra Swift, aka his grand kid called Taylor Swift

Jodie then married Scam Likely??? The two have a child too who turns out to be Hermie The Unworthy, which means Scam Likely is his brother in law and Hermie is his nephew

Like dude, I fucking love DnD, shit just happens and then you try to think srsly abt it for fun and you can basically put a theory board

Dndads is fun and I love Glenn, he sucks but whatever is wrong with him is so funny

#dndads #dndads spoilers #just in case even though this all is old knowledge I guess #owlys hooting #sorry for the steam of consciousness I just geniuonley love this

[ragsy]

opinions about Annihilation, you say? care to share? (only if you have the energy and desire for it, of course)

god okay please don't regret inviting me to open this can of worms

so let me preface this by saying annihilation by Jeff vandermeer is one of my favorite books of all time and possibly one of the greatest works of science fiction I've ever experienced. It rewired my brain and it's been four years since I read it and I still think about it daily.

This is not about that. This is about the 2018 film adaptation written and directed by Alex Garland. And I understand that people generally like this film. It's got a bit of a cult following. And nothing I'm about to say is a personal condemnation of your enjoyment of it. I just.... I did not like it.

Now, I'm a firm believer in the idea that film adaptations will always have significant differences from the source material. That's just how translating a book to a visual medium does. Totally normal. I get it. The annihilation movie was always going to be different from the book.

However.

Not only did the film diverge from the source material, it also missed the entire point of the original narrative!! It took a handful of memorable bits from the book and used them as Oooh Spooky Scary set dressing for cheap jumpscares, it turned the entire conceit of Area X (renamed "the shimmer" for some reason??) from a parallel between the biologist's story about "identity and grief and the loss of a loved one despite that loved one still somehow being alive (but something is clearly but inarticulatably wrong with them)" and "the grief over mass destruction of the natural world while the natural world is still somehow still there (but something is clearly wrong with it)" to.... I don't even know!! what the central thesis of the movie even was!! Did it have one? I didn't think it was a very good movie to even begin with!!! The acting was stiff and drab like the actors were afraid to open their mouths, all the dialog felt like someone's bland first draft, the characters were forgettable and impossible to care about, and it just kinda felt dumbed down like every other adult scifi movie that gets made for buzz and mass appeal. I wanted to like it! I went into it with genuine hope! I loved the visual and sound design, and the bear scene did give me a genuine chill, but like. That's it. I can look at fanart and screenshots and get more out of those than I did watching that goddamn movie. The book is like 200 pages and manages to deliver SO much more in the way of narrative depth, character dimension, metaphor, symbolism, and charisma than the $40million 2 hour wet blanket of a film.

But again. The bear was cool.

#ragsycon exclusive #Southern reach #this is such a steam of consciousness ramble lmao sorry

[bioexorcizm]

sorry for writing only purple prose btw. do u still think im cool and smart

#im well aware of the fact i do. like exclusively lol. #idk i just write like steam of consciousness in one sitting is why #stream* #i never proofread either so if it gets written it's staying. sorry #im no professional writer i do what i want it's self ship fan fiction dog who give a shit im doing this for ME and i think it's pretty #so 🫡 #.txt

[hypervoxel]

My go-to Vox warning tag for fics is “Masochism That Borders On Self-Harm”.

I agree with ace-spectrum Vox but I don’t know where exactly I’d place him on the spectrum.

Something something, the inability to willingly shed any of the masks and personas you’ve lived your life as. The insecurity in an already shaky sense of self and the need to be desired even as nothing more than a bleeding piece of meet. The intimacy of someone *taking* everything him, leaving him hollow and still coming back for more. The inherent intimacy of violence

Oh that's a good tag, I will totally steal that one day. My only fic is tagged "Consensual non-consent" followed immediately by "Consent Issues" because I could not think of an actual descriptor for them. Not safe, not sane, and these people do not care what consent even is. Oh, the inherent intimacy of violence indeed..... <3

Yesss, Vox is so incredibly fake and he doesn't know how to be anything else. He is his mask. He wants someone to want him for who he is, but there's nothing underneath! Just meat and wires!

I also very much headcanon Vox as autistic/ADHD and doing the most to mask that too. He's faking every social interaction, and he knows people can tell. He feels so much, but he also feels like his emotions aren't real. Swinging wildly from emotional numbness/disassociation to feeling everything. There's nothing to him, until suddenly he can't fit in his own body. And also I'm always thinking about physically disabled Vox who has so much internalized ableism. He does his best to fake being "normal" in every way. He can't let anyone see him for what he is, because they would think him worthless. He's Vox; he's perfect. Trust is everything to his brand, and you can only trust perfection. He yearns for a chance to let go of that and relax, to be forced to let go because he can't relax on his own. He always has to be in control.

And of course we talked on Discord about the purity culture/internalized homophobia, "I'm not allowed to want this. I can't enjoy it on my own, I can't be given the choice, it needs to be forced on me," attitude towards sex.

[slaps Vox's TV head] this bad boy can fit so much trauma in it!!!!

#i don't know what I'm typing anymore this is all steam of consciousness #let's talk more about that TV box being so bad at life that he became a robot in death!!!! #he's everything to me

[drrandombear]

YEEEEEEEEEES IT IS DONE!

Heh so I got around to playing Arkham Asylum and you might be able to tell what my main priority was :]

#Edward: pissed as hell Me: heeheehoohoo funny trophies #ALSO IM IN LOVE WITH THD SPIRIT OF ARKHAM STUFF!! #It’s so well voice acted- I would look up the actor but I’m so sleepy #I’m going to play city next cause I bought the whole series for 9$ during the steam sale #I’ve fallen more in love with Arkham Joker playing this game #MWAH! <- me giving Mark Hamill a big kiss #arkhamverse #arkham asylum #Batman #Random’s random talks #anyway I sleepy now thank you for reading my steam of consciousness tags

[sidewalkchemistry]

Jaguar Womban

I’m South American and Caribbean. I grew up in Mexico. Growing up, I was taught how to steam my vagina. La Vonne has those memories. I’m also a doula, and when I was working with midwives, they would have people steam to help conceive. They told me to start steaming for my own healing journey, to get grounded and back into my body. You squat down over these bowls with herbs that you pulled up from the roots of the earth, and the steam is coming up and the energy is bringing you down to the root and opening your head and your mind.  It’s pulling me down, but it pulls my clients up. I’m coming from heaven back down to the earth, and my clients are going from their body up to meet in heaven.

I experienced death of self and a renaming. I had this deep trauma, but I feel that women and womb carriers have the ability to do that, and we do it more times than we realize.  In aboriginal cultures, they’ll regularly rename themselves before they leave the body. You could have a big breakup and say, ‘I’m a totally different woman now.’ We all go through that time, like, ‘The me who dated John, she’s dead. I need a whole new look, different hair, and also I need to move.’

That’s why you need to steam your vagina. It lubricates the transitions in our consciousness and helps let things rebirth in its reality with ease. So women began coming to me. I never decided to do this, but they could see the change within me. First it was friends around me, then there were too many women, so then I started doing a women’s circle. Life has demanded that I make things more legitimate, but deep inside of me I want to be a medicine woman traveling back and forth. 

#p #txt #herbalism #holistic healing #womb wellness #yoni steaming #plant consciousness #true nourishment #inner work #heart expansive