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#starlord x gamora
jimprestonapologist · 9 months
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The Journey -Her Perspective
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I'll never know his touch again Those gentle hands with kind yet clumsy words An idiot in all his glory My space invader
Like a magnet I'm Pulled Unable to detach Stuck to his side In every universe
And as the melody Guides me between the cosmos Between both heaven and hell and beyond The lunar rays subside And I see him once more
My beautiful fool He listens silently through his tears And there's nothing I can do But watch Silent too
Our eyes lock And the lyrics speak of love lost But I will find him In every galaxy Through death and life we remain We must
The final parting note chimes And I retreat into the sprawling vastness Like an estranged astronaut Begging for solid ground That will never greet me
But in his orbit I will stay Never close but never far A devoted satellite Dancing with tangled constellations In the hopes that I'll catch a glimpse of him Just once more
Just once more Please.
This is my 2nd piece in my poem set for this art I created, this time from Gamora's perspective! 🥺 You can find the version from Quill's version I wrote here: https://www.tumblr.com/jimprestonapologist/721767407885090816/the-tape-his-perspective?source=share And for all my other non guardians related stuff, you can find it over here: @silverapplestock !
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shutupcrime · 11 months
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Guardians of the Galaxy is the story of a Racoon who flies a space ship and it had me sobbing on the floor.
It’s about outcasts, overcoming abuse, learning to love yourself and those around you.
It’s about forgiveness and guilt and family.
It’s about all the ludicrous little details surrounding life that make it bearable.
It’s about the greatest Racoon you will ever encounter and it’s a masterpiece.
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yeamarvel · 9 months
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You know, I'm still not who you want me to be.
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 3 (2023) dir. James Gunn
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accidental-spice · 1 month
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@monthly-challenge 2024 | Day #15: Dancing
Some of my favorite dance scenes in fiction
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aanoia · 10 months
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Reunions and Goodbyes
Peter Quill x reader
Summary; after your best friend disappeared you made a name for yourself with the help of the Avengers, what happens when you accidently find said best friend again? But in space?
Words; abt 1,300
Warnings; death 😋, not proofread
I kinda hate this but kinda love it but kinda want to burn it at the stake. Yk?
Btw yalls can manipulate metal, like magneto, but cooler
Requests are open! Requests are welcome and encouraged! (Pls I'm desperate) Fandom list is my pinned post! (REQUEST SOMETHING, ANYTHING, LEAVE ME A CUTE NOTE, PLEASE IM SO BORED WITH LIFE RN🙏🙏)
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“We might uh, um turn! Turn! Turn!” Peter P. said as the ship ran into a demolished building, causing the whole thing to shake.
“Oh Lord.” I mumbled under my breath forcing a piece of metal to lower itself in front of me and steadying myself. Peter P. grunted as we crashed onto the ground, Stephen doing his best to steady us.
The ship came to a stop and I took a breath of relief, letting go of the metal as Peter P. hung upside down on his web.
“Let me just say, if aliens wind up implanting eggs in my chest or something and I eat one of you, I’m sorry.”
I shook my head with a laugh.
“I do not want another single pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip, you understand?”
“Uh, he’s just trying to tell us someone is coming.” I warned and Peter P. nodded.
“Thank you, Y/n.” He thanked me as a little metal ball rolled in between us. In just a moment it exploded, sending us backwards. I grunted as I hit the ground and looked up to see two red eyes coming in from the fog, followed by silhouettes of other people.
A big one yelled and threw knives at Stephen, who blocked them with his shield, making the man scream in anger before getting tackled by Cape. The one with red eyes began shooting while flying up in the air, Tony following after him, his mask now on. Tony shot a blast at the guy who dodged it but ran into a piece of metal I placed next to him.
“Ah!” I heard Peter P. screech and I looked to him to see an alien girl leaning over him, her tendrils glowing. “Woah woah woah, please don’t put your eggs in me!” He shot her with webs causing her to yelp in surprise before the red eyed guy kicked Peter down.
Tony took Capes spot above the man as the guy with red eyes held onto Peter P. from behind, a gun pointed to his head. I held my hands up, hood covering my eyes as metal flew around me, aiming at both the red eyed and the big guy.
“Everybody stay where you are, chill the f out!” He brought his hand up and his mask retracted. I shivered as a sudden wave of familiarity filled my body. Do I know this guy? “I’m gonna ask you this one time, where is Gamora?”
“Yeah, I’ll do you one better!” Tony said as his mask also retracted. “Who’s Gamora?”
“I’ll do you one better, why is Gamora?” The big one said from beneath Tony. I looked at Stephen who looked just as confused as me.
“Tell me where the girl is or I swear to you I’m gonna french fry this little freak.”
“Woah, watch your tone there, man.” I told him, waving the metal in the air. His eyes flashed with something unrecognizable, but I ignored it.
“Let’s do it. Shoot my guy and I’ll blast him! Let’s go!” Tony threatened.
“Do it Quill! I can take it!” The big man said and my stance faltered. Quill?
“No! He can’t take it!” An alien looking girl I didn’t even realize was there yelled.
“She’s right. You can’t.” Stephen said calmly.
“Oh, yeah? You don’t wanna tell me where she is? That’s fine! I’ll kill all four of you and I’ll beat it out of Thanos myself!” He pushed the gun harder against Peter P.’s head. “Starting with you.
“Wait what?” Stephen asked. “All right, let me ask you this one time. What master do you serve?”
I snorted, “What is he supposed to say, Jesus?” I said as red eyes guy said the same thing, just with “I” instead of "he.” He looked at me with wide eyes.
“Woah, weird.” Peter P. mumbled.
“Wait, you’re from Earth?” Tony asked.
“Not from Earth, I’m from Missouri.”
“Hey, that’s where Y/n’s from.” Peter said quietly, but apparently only I heard him as everyone continued talking. 
“Yeah, that’s on Earth, dipshit. What are you hassling us for?”
“Wait, so you’re not with Thanos?” Peter asked shakily.
Red eyed guy looked at Peter P. incredulously, “With Thanos? No, I’m here to kill Thanos. He took our gir- wait, who are you?” 
Peter’s mask retracted. “We’re the Avengers, man.” 
“You’re the ones Thor told us about!” The alien girl said and the red eyes guy looked at me in thought.
“You know Thor?” Tony asked.
“Yeah, tall guy, not that good looking.” Red eyes guy said, not breaking his gaze. “Needed saving.”
“Where is he now?” Stephen asked.
My metal dropped to the floor with a loud bang, making everyone jump.
“Y/n?” Peter P. asked and I lowered my hood, looking straight at red eyes guy with teary eyes.
I walked closer to him, my heart thumping heavily.
“What is it? Y/n?” Tony asked.
“Peter?” I whispered to red eyes guy who stared intently at me.
His eyes widened, “Y/n?” He whispered back.
“They know each other?” Peter P. asked Tony and Stephen who shrugged, just as lost as him.
I laughed in relief and tackled him in a hug, squeezing tightly as a few stray tears left my eyes. It had been years since I had last seen him. We were eight. He disappeared right after his mother died and I never fully recovered. It had been a while, and we were only eight and it was so dumb, but I loved him so much.
“I can’t believe you’re alive.” I said to him quietly, finally letting go to look at him. “What happened to you?”
“I was literally abducted by aliens.” he said and I laughed.
“What’s going on?” Tony asked.
“I know this guy. He’s a good guy.” I told him, not providing an explanation on purpose.
Tony nodded, knowing it was pointless to pry. I would tell him when I was ready.
“Okay, have your little reunion thing, I’m gonna make a plan.” He said and walked off with Stephen. 
“So you’re telling me that after you left you literally joined a superhero team with Captain freaking America?”
I laughed, “You work with a tree! And a racoon!”
“Speaking of, I hope you and Rocket get to meet. I feel like he’d like you.”
“I hope I can meet all of your new friends.”
Peter Q. grabbed my hand, “I’ve really missed you, Y/n. You’re the reason I almost came back to Earth so many times.”
“I’ve missed you too, Peter.” I said and he leaned in slowly. My eyes flickered down to his lips as fast footsteps came towards us.
“Y/n! Help! He’s gonna kill me!” Peter P. said, out of breath as the big guy, who I now know is Drax, ran behind him. I laughed loudly before looking back at Peter Q.
“Sorry, sister from another mister duty calls, Peter Q. Gotta go save my brother.” I said and stood up, quickly pressing a kiss to Peter Q’s cheek before running after Peter P. and Drax.
Bonus
“Peter! No!” I yelled with teary eyes as Peter Q. began turning to dust. I ran up to him, placing my hand on his slowly disintegrating cheek. “No, I just got you back!” I cried.
“I love you, Y/n/n.” he whispered before disintegrating. I cried harder at the use of the nickname he gave to me when we were si
I heard the other Peter cry and desperately beg for help, I turned around quickly, running over to the other Peter who was laying down while holding tightly onto Tony.
“No, not you too.” I said, holding tightly onto his hand.
“I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go.” He said over and over and I shushed him through my own tears, gently pushing his hair from his face.
“Shh, it’s gonna be okay, Peter. You’re gonna be okay, alright?” I said and softly hummed him his favorite song. The notes turned into sobs as he disappeared, not paying attention as yet another person I loved disappeared, leaving only Tony, Nebula, and I. All alone.
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tarasdiary · 11 months
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gamora & peter (guardians of the galaxy 3) SPOILERS
if you're a starmora fan like me, you'll also understand the pain right now
we know for a fact gamora was falling in love all over again, and the thing that people are forgetting is that this is just gamora from the past and not a completely different gamora from an alternative dimension. because its just gamora from another timeline, her personality is still the same, and she can still fall in love with peter like she did before
there were hints of gamora slowly regaining those feelings, where she's looking through peter's stuff and fighting alongside peter again, the moment she was smiling looking up at peter where he fell on top of her on accident (like the first film) and then the ending...
the ending killed me. part of her didn't want to leave. she does have a new family now and i'm happy for her, but she seriously struggled to leave peter there. "I bet we were fun". she was FALLING. she really wishes she had those memories of her future self that passed.
she wouldn't move ahead till nebula initiated her to go
it was such a missed opportunity where peter was out in space about to die and gamora could have been the one to save him like he did for her in the first film. i understand the point of this scene was to give adam some redemption, but i seriously wish it was gamora who saved peter instead
and also when everyone was hugging peter, gamora was the only one standing aside and walked away literally, i wish somehow the creators could of just gave those 2 a moment there as gamora showed relief that peter lived
sadly i know marvel isn't much on romance (as they literally ruined every pairing we loved) - wanda & vision, thor & jane, tony & pepper, peter & Michelle etc. just hope we could have a happy ending for 1 pairing one day
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afro-hispwriter · 1 year
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can someone point me in the way to some Peter Quill x Y/n x Gamora?
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izzypuppybutt · 9 months
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MI7 Thoughts - spoilers
you've been warned
Actually not just MI7 but pairings in general.
Why are people, both audience and film producers so afraid of or despise romance so much these days? Like, just for the sake of hating it and to be different or sth?
This also applies for happy endings.
And also pairings getting together and the story still continues instead of going down the road of "will they/won't they" / "are they/are they not" trope. Once people become a couple there are still SOOO many issues that can be explored through stories and that would have sooo much potential. Couples fighting, couples going through stressful times, working out trust, communications, etc there are tons of possibilities for further character development!!! They shouldn't overcomplicate when the characters reach a particular point where it makes sense if they get together. Case in point is Chris McQuarrie saying in an interview he didn't want it too simple for ilsa x ethan and once they get together it's kinda over (or sth similar along that line I can't be bothered to find the actual vid sorry). But I'm like!?! No?!?! There's sooooo much you can doooo, the possibilitiesssss!! 😭
If it's done right and if that's what makes sense for the characters and if they have so much chemistry, why not? Why are people seeing characters finding love/getting into a romance as a weakness? I'm seeing this reaction with female characters. Look, I agree that female characters shouldn't be brought in JUST to be a love interest, I very much agree on that 100%. But finding someone in life to love and settle down and build a family together (or even just go through life with, whatever) is very much a humanly relatable thing. I'm saying this with a strong condition: ONLY if it makes sense and if it's done right. I'm saying a female character wanting that or doing that doesn't undermine their strength or story. But if it doesn't make sense for the pairing to get together, for sure don't do it. One particular case I agree with is Gamora x Quill in GOTG3. THAT is an excellent move. They didn't end up together at the end (at least not yet) because this is a different Gamora and it doesn't make sense if they got together as quickly as that and as simple as that. I'm so glad James Gunn did that. I applaud this decision.
In terms of happy endings, I particularly hate it when filmmakers/writers make sad/tragic endings for all the wrong reasons such as "to be different / non-mainstream".
Bring back producers not being afraid of happy endings/romance. If they don't give happy ending for ethan x ilsa, idk bruh. They have gone through so much, they deserve that happiness, come on.
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byler-is-endgame7 · 9 months
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no because why is that actually the line 😭
happy birthday grimace 🎉
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elliebean714 · 10 months
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Uh oh tumblr, I'm hyperfixating again...
This time on GOTG cus of the new film. Jeepers Creepers I love that silly little raccoon.
Anyway I'm gonna start taking requests for them now ig.
Rocket Raccoon
Mantis
Drax
Nebula
Adam Warlock
Peter Quill
Groot
Gamora
Is that my ranking of the guardians? No... definitely not...
Anyway pls send requests im desperate. And specify what film you want it to take place around, characters develop. It's hard to pin them down.
Check this post for what I an open to writing and what I won't write(you'll have to scroll to the bottom. Or maybe take a look at the other fandoms idc I'm not your mom)
K bye💕
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gorillageek27 · 8 months
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jimprestonapologist · 9 months
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The Tape - His Perspective
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Each night she returns to him Not in the form she once possessed But in one he loves all the same With the click of a button She comes to him Lifted by sweet melody
Inside the bedroom that once housed yearning glances 'I love you's and 'I'll never leave you's Now only 'I miss you' remains Uttered from a single mouth and a cassette tape
But in the blink of an eye She’s there In all her glorious light As if nothing was ever lost As if he had never failed As if she had always remained His
And for a moment, he believes it For a moment her fingertips almost feel real As the ceiling opens and the galaxy unfolds into view Their eyes lock and the universe corrects all wrongs Reunited under the sprawling heavens The two lovers meet Again
The twinkling constellations that embody his love They sing to him Carrying lyrics into the cold emptiness of space Which awaits him once the performance is through The audience is silent as the curtains close And the swirling hues of the solar system unwind He's alone once more
There's a hint in that familiar song As though traces of a love lost remains Etched onto the very tape he holds So tight Delicate The man could crush it But he never will
With each rewind, she's back Within reach Yet galaxies apart they remain.
A poem I wrote from Quill's perspective in this art I created! You can find my other non guardians related stuff over at @silverapplestock ! You can find Gamora's perspective here: https://www.tumblr.com/jimprestonapologist/721767739193163776/the-journey-her-perspective?source=share
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shyficwriter · 1 year
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Temporary Home: Chapter 25
Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)
Summary: Just as things are starting to look up- spiders. So many spiders. Will everything be okay, or will Reader crumble under the pressure?
Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning
Author’s Note: By gods, I've been writing this chapter since MAY of 2022!! Also, for my records this chapter ends on day 72 of the Guardians living with reader. Enjoy!
Word Count: 7,668
Your little chat with Yondu had actually made you feel better, to your surprise.
Sure, you still had bouts of post-vulnerability-embarrassment, but you found that a weight had been lifted somewhat when you went to bed that night, and you couldn't deny that you actually did feel better in the morning, enough so that you actually got right back into using the remote to prank Peter, though you of course now refrained from using it when Yondu was also watching the television for fear of prompting him to tell Peter what he knew out of spite.
The next couple days your mood improved even further.
You decided to join another sparing round with the others, though you did avoid matching with Peter out of paranoia that he'd pull another stunt like the last time. You were teased for this, mostly because when it happened you had turned to see he was your next match only to audibly state, "Nope!" and motioned him on to pair with Mantis instead. This made the others laugh, but you simply rolled your eyes with half a light-hearted smirk and brushed it off.
The day after that you decided to finally show Yondu some "Terran Archery" as you had said you would some time ago. He actually caught on really well, though he didn't deny that he preferred his own arrow. Then, seemingly just to show off, he whistled to command his arrow circle you three times before taking off to shoot clear through your target and then come back to rest in his holster.
Pretending not to be impressed, you start to head back toward the shed to put your bow and quiver away. "You know, you still never really said how Fury allowed you to keep that arrow."
Yondu just grinned and shrugged as he followed your lead to return. "Like I said. That's for me to know."
"Come on now!" You scoff. "Surely after making me spill my life story the other night you can at least tell me that."
Yondu pretended to think, smirking all the while. "Hmm… Nah. Pretty sure we never came to any such agreement."
"Seriously?!"
"Yup."
You sigh, letting it go for now. "Well, can you at least tell me how it works?"
"Whatcha wanna know that for? Ain't like ya'd be able to use it." He grinned teasingly at you.
Whether he meant he wouldn't dream of letting you try it, or that it literally only worked for him, you weren't sure- though you had a suspicion it was the latter. "Just curious," you respond, "I mean, I showed you how humans do archery, figured maybe you'd at least tell me a little something about your space arrow?"
Yondu appeared slightly annoyed, rolling his eyes and stopping to turn to you. He realized he was going to have to give you the same talk he gave Quill shortly after he brought him aboard the Eclector as a boy. "Let's get one thing straight. I know you Terrans ain't know a lot, so it ain't fully yer fault, but here's a lesson. You and me?" He gestured back and forth between you. "We're both 'human-' Got it?"
Confusion prompted you to look back at him. Both human? That couldn't be right. You were from Earth. He was from a different planet- an alien. Did people on his planet call themselves 'humans' too?
He continued. "You Terrans might think you're the only ones in the universe, but that don't make everyone else less than human."
Oh.
The guilt must have shown on your face because he sighed and tried to curb his annoyance. Slightly. "You? Me? Both human." He points at you again. "You and Quill, ya'll are Terran." He points to himself. "I'm Centaurian. Different races, both still 'human.' Got it?"
You nod. "Yes. Sorry-"
He waved you off, seeming satisfied enough and wishing to change the subject. The two of you begin walking again as he spoke. "Anyway, the fin picks up my whistle and sends it to the arrow. Arrow gets the whistle and goes where -and through who- I want it to."
"Uh, that's it? It's that simple? Do a lot of people use that in space?" you ask, deciding to move forward in the conversation with him.
Yondu laughed out his nose. "It's the best explanation yer gonna get, and no, it's actually not simple at all, and no- I'm sure I'm the only one with something like this."
Your eyebrows raised. "Oh. Why's that?"
"That's enough questions about the arrow for now," he replied flatly. His expression was just as flat, and you couldn't get a read on the reason for his reluctance to talk much about his arrow. He didn't seem upset or uncomfortable. Was he was just a "keep to himself" type of person, or was he just good at keeping up a mask?
You relented, slightly disappointed, but deciding to push forward with another question as you neared the shed. "Alright then. Um, what is your planet like?"
Out of nowhere Yondu's hand connects with your side to give it a couple quick squeezes, which results in you jumping with a startled giggly shriek. He hadn't even looked at you before doing it, which only made it all the more unexpected.
It was over in an instant but you still glared at him indignantly, feeling your face heat up. "What was that for!?"
Yondu shrugged with a grin. "To change the subject. Worked, didn't it?" With that he continued off towards the house, leaving you alone at the shed.
You huffed slightly and just went to put your quiver and bow back away.
* * *
Later that day you fancied yourself a glass of juice after switching the laundry you had just washed over to the dryer. The plan was to enjoy it in the sitting room while you re-read one of your favorite mystery books. After pouring yourself a glass and placing the bottle back in the fridge you grabbed said glass from the counter and turned to walk back towards the sitting room. It was then that you saw a shot of brown dart across the kitchen floor.
Recognizing it immediately as a house spider you jumped nearly out of your skin and dropped your glass, spilling your juice all over the tile floor, but fortunately not breaking the cup.
Unfortunately, Yondu and Kraglin had walked in around this same time and saw the whole thing, if Yondu's chuckling was any evidence to the fact.
Cheeks heating up, you quickly grabbed a towel to clean up your mess. You expected to be teased about the spider, but instead you heard, "Damn, I know Krags is funny-lookin', but we didn't expect to startle ya that much!"
You glance up, not intending to argue but grateful they didn't seem to notice the real cause of your startle. Kraglin jokingly put on a disgruntled face towards Yondu for the insult before turning to look in the pantry.
Then you saw Yondu throw you a wink before doing the same.
So he did see… and he was covering for you? Why? Never mind. You weren't going to argue or ask. But you did think you should consider making a special trip into town tomorrow to get some repellents or maybe some traps.
Once your mess was cleaned up you left the kitchen- no longer in the mood for juice, or to read. However, you thought maybe you were in the mood to watch something on TV, and upon seeing that nobody was occupying the television you decided to scroll through Netflix, finally settling on a familiar movie you had seen several times before.
Miraculously you got through the whole movie without anyone even coming into the sitting room, and you actually started to wonder where the others might be before you glanced at the clock and noticed how late it had gotten. They must all be in bed, and you should probably follow suit.
Doing your best to be quiet as to not wake anyone you went about getting ready for bed in the bathroom. It wasn't until you were about to shut off the light and retreat to your bed after brushing your teeth did you spot another spider. It was perhaps half the size of the one you had seen in the kitchen, but that didn't make you feel much better considering it was still about 3cm wide. You had almost touched it when you went for the switch and jerked your hand back at the last moment, catching an exclamation in your throat.
The spider quickly scurried away before you could act and somehow you lost sight of it. Unwilling to stay up to find it you quickly shut out the light and left the bathroom. That was a problem for anyone else. Tomorrow.
For now you were definitely sure you were going to the shops in the morning for both repellent and traps.
Fucking spider season.
* * *
Despite going to bed late you managed to wake early, and you would have tried to sleep-in if you hadn't reasoned with yourself that the sooner you left the sooner you would be back with stuff to get rid of the spiders and hopefully keep them away. Also you had to pee.
It seemed no one else was awake, which you became grateful for as it meant it was unlikely that anyone heard the very loud gasp you let out the moment you turned from closing the bathroom door towards the toilet and found the spider from last night sitting on the opened toilet lid, taunting you.
You considered for a moment nope-ing right out of there to go use the toilet downstairs, but you could hear the sounds of someone opening their door and started to feel self-conscious of someone possibly seeing you flee one toilet for the other due to a spider. It also wouldn't solve your problem as you'd need to come right back to this bathroom anyway because everything you needed to wash up and get ready with for the morning was in here.
Damn it.
Ok. What were your other options?
Maybe flick it off with a towel? But then you'd have to worry about where it would run to after. The thought of it crawling up your leg while you did your business made you shiver and you immediately threw that idea out.
Well, what if you closed the lid? Maybe it'd fall off into the bowl and you could flush it away? But that would require putting your hand way closer to the spider than you were willing. You weren't about to risk it crawling on you. Also you had a feeling you'd need to slam the lid for that to work and you weren't thrilled about drawing attention to yourself.
You needed to find a way to kill it somehow, a feat easier said than done considering you couldn't stand the thought of getting too close to it and the fact that you really just wanted to be able to use the toilet, get ready, and get on with your day.
You looked around for something you could maybe squish it with, because as much as you wanted to avoid it you sure as hell weren't going to go ask one of the others to come kill it for you. You'd use the bathtub as a toilet before you did that. Luckily for you, you weren't nearly that desperate.
Speaking of the bathtub though, you spotted a bottle of shampoo. Considering it a good enough weapon, you snatched it up and aimed the blunt cap towards your enemy. Moving slowly, sure the spider would run if you made any sudden movements, you inch closer… closer… until smack! You finally darted your weapon forward and crushed the spider between the toilet lid and the lid of the shampoo bottle, grateful the spider also hadn't decided to make any sudden movements before getting squished. It would be very likely that you would have dropped the bottle in the toilet if it had.
You pulled the bottle away and found the spider-guts had decided to stick to the cap, leaving little more than a slight smudge on the toilet lid.
Grabbing a sheet of toilet paper you sat the bottle with it's arachnid corpse on the sink, intent to remove any evidence of your enemy's unwanted prior existence from the toilet lid before finally relieving yourself- deciding to wait until after you had done so to give the spider it's "sea burial." It might be dead, but still- no. Ew. It could wait it's turn.
After finishing your business, flushing your friend, and cleaning off the shampoo cap, you were finally able finish getting ready for the day, and thought maybe you'd reward yourself for your bravery with a muffin for breakfast.
* * *
You had just finished up eating and were about to get ready to leave when Mantis came over to you from the pantry asking if you could help her get the jar of peanut butter open.
Little did you know this would be the start of a chain of events that would significantly delay your morning plans.
For what felt like several minutes you did your best to open the jar but didn't succeed, so you handed the jar off to Drax who had just happened to walk into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing his eyes. Rocket filed in behind him, ignoring everyone as he made his way to the washing machine and threw something inside.
Drax got the jar opened in nothing flat, but he apparently had news for you; Groot had decided to take some juice upstairs and had spilled it in their room.
You sigh, but grab the mop as you internally begrudged Drax for not just cleaning it up himself instead of coming to tell you about it. Though, it was probably just as well- he wasn't exactly the most thorough of cleaners and you didn't want his poor mopping to leave a sticky juice residue behind.
As you filled a bucket you wondered how the tiny tree child would have managed to get a glass of juice all the way up the stairs without spilling any only to then spill it in their bedroom.
It would turn out, as you saw when you reached the stairs, he hadn't. There were little puddles of juice over nearly every step on the staircase. Enough so that you wondered how there was even any left for him to spill in his room when you finally reached the door and located the glass overturned in a puddle of juice near Rocket's bed- which was missing it's blanket. There was, however, no sign of Groot. You'd worry about that later.
For now, you had just never been more glad that you didn't have carpeting in your home- and idly wondered as you cleaned if Groot had actually managed to drink any of his juice before spilling it everywhere.
When you finally finished mopping you grabbed the first person you could find- in this case Kraglin, before tracking down Groot and having Kraglin translate that the wooden child was no longer allowed to carry liquids upstairs.
You weren't totally sure the message got across, but there wasn't a whole lot more you could do so you just had to hope the kid actually understood when he nodded in response and ran off. You awkwardly thanked Kraglin and went to return your mop to the kitchen.
It was there you encountered Rocket again, who opened the dryer and then gave you grief about having left your clothes inside.
You roll your eyes at him but say nothing as you snatch your clothes out of the dryer and move to take them upstairs. Might as well fold them now so you don't need to worry about them later when you get back from town.
Once your clothes were folded and you were putting the last of them away you think you might finally be in the clear to be heading to town when Mantis startles you by running up to you crying and holding her hand.
You almost scold her for scaring you like that when you see that she only had a paper cut, but you held your tongue and instead helped calm her down and find a plaster in the medicine cabinet.
Once you had her settled you headed to leave before anyone else could manage to stop you again, once more being startled by a spider in the hall and cursing the creature.
Soon after, Gamora came across you as you were pulling on your jacket, keys in hand. It was then you realized you hadn't bothered to tell anyone you were leaving and you thought you might do so then, but Gamora actually beat you to it.
"Are you going into town?"
"Uh, yeah actually. Did you need anything?" you asked, pulling up your jacket zipper. Silently you hoped it wasn't something else that would delay your departure even further.
"Take Peter with you."
Taken aback, you let out a surprised half-laugh and looked at her. "What?"
"I need you to take Peter with you."
You blink at her. "…Is everything ok?"
She glanced down the hall before lowering her voice. "Yes- it's just-" She frowned. "Ok, he's driving me a little crazy today."
"It's not even noon?" You raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"I know," she said pointedly.
You frowned. You hadn't intended to bring a passenger with you. "Won't he ask questions? I've never exactly brought him along willingly before."
"Somehow I doubt that will be a problem. I'm fully certain he's just being annoying because he's stuck here and bored."
You open your mouth to reply just in time for Peter to step out of the bathroom. To your surprise Gamora calls out to him and tells him that he's going to be accompanying you into town.
"Cool!" Peter says, going for his jacket as you blink at Gamora, who doesn't look at all apologetic.
Defeated, you sigh and just motion Peter toward the door, throwing one last glare over your shoulder at Gamora who finally mouths "sorry" just as you close the door behind you.
The ride into town was much less annoying than you expected. Instead of deliberately trying to annoy you, Peter seemed content with just listening to the radio the whole way into town, which wasn't at all unwelcome seeing as your thoughts were on what sprays or traps you might get this time around for the spiders, and considering how you weren't exactly looking forward to discussing the situation.
Eventually you reach the shop, where you manage to park, go inside, and grab a hand basket all before Peter tried making small talk.
"So, you're quiet today."
You glanced at him in puzzlement. "I could more say the same of you. Normally you never shut up. Maybe I was enjoying the quiet."
"Rude." Peter said, giving you a quick poke to the ribs.
You jumped and glared at him with narrowed eyes, to which he only grinned and mock held his hands up in defense as you walked past him and made your way toward the aisle where you knew the pest control items would be, trying to think of anything else you might need to pick up while you were in town, which wasn't a lot since you had just recently been in.
Unable to think of anything on your own, you glanced at Peter and asked him if he knew of anything he or the others might need. You knew the answer was likely also nothing, as Fury had just come a couple days prior with a restock, but it didn't hurt to ask.
"No, I can't think of anything. Wouldn't argue against some Oreos though."
This made you huff a laugh out your nose and as that aisle was coming up first you opted to detour and grab them on the way to your actual reason for coming to the shop.
As you were leaving that aisle Peter speaks up again. "So, I noticed you seem to be a little… less grumpy lately." In a joking tone he continued, "That mean you're finally starting to like us?"
"Don't read too much into it," was your reply. "Maybe you all have just gotten less annoying after a couple months. Or I'm suffering a weird form of reverse Stockholm Syndrome."
Sure, you could have said you had a sit down with Yondu where you spilled your guts. Could have mentioned how somehow you actually felt better afterward. Could have also mentioned how you had no idea why- since all that mandatory therapy SHIELD ordered you to take couldn't even do it. But you weren't going to. Just because that one talked helped didn't mean you were ready for a repeat of that vulnerability anytime soon. Besides, the more you thought about it the more you figured it was probably a fluke or something.
"Rude," Peter joked again, rolling his eyes and poking you in the ribs once more like before and jolting you out of your thoughts.
This time your reaction was to accidentally elbow him in the side, and you glared at him with wide eyes as he laughed and rubbed the sore spot. "That's what you get, now cut that out!"
There was a slight playfulness behind the scolding that didn't go unnoticed, but Peter once again held up his hands in mock-surrender. "Ok!" He could tell you were deflecting, but he wasn't going to push it.
By now you had reached the pest control aisle, only to find it wiped out of any kind of repellents or traps that might be useful against spiders. Perhaps if you had just gotten here earlier- but no. Everyone else in this area knew as well as you did that it was spider season, so you should have anticipated this. Better yet, you should have remembered to grab some stuff before the season came- though one couldn't blame you for being distracted the last couple months. Not like you had taken in a group of dysfunctional aliens or anything…
"Damn," you mutter under your breath.
"What?"
You shake your head. "Nothing." Ok. Think. Would there be anywhere else in town that might have anything still in stock?
"Aww naw!" came a voice from behind the two of you. Upon turning to look you saw there were a couple young men maybe in their early twenties. Clearly they had come looking for spider repellents too, and like you, were disappointed to find the supplies out of stock. Before they walked off the young man who had exclaimed could be heard saying to his friend, "This was the last place in town. Thought for sure they'd still have some in stock. Tough luck for us innit?"
Well, there went that idea.
Peter looked to you and caught you frowning. "Is there something I should know?" he asked.
"It's nothing, like I said," you reply, thinking to grab some juice on your way to checkout, realizing that much of what you did have at home had found it's way onto the floor. "It's just spider season… and I thought I'd grab some supplies before I had to listen to you scream like a little kid every time you saw one." Of course you were going to leave out the part that the real reason was that you really hated spiders. "Forgot about it until too late is all," you continued. "Been a little distracted lately." You throw him a pointed look as you said the last bit, knowing that he would know what you meant by it.
Peter frowned, offended. "First off- I would not scream like a little kid." He went to poke you again for the insult as the two of you approached a self checkout, but you smacked his hand away before it could make contact. "But that does explain so much," he added watching as you quickly scanned your small shopping haul and paid.
"What do you mean?"
"Why I've seen so many spiders lately." He replied, following you out of the store. "Saw three just this morning. Big suckers too- but I suppose that makes them easier targets to squish." He chuckled. What he wasn't about to say, however, was that he had actually called Gamora to come kill each one he saw.
"Oh," you reply, walking to the car. You did not like the sound of that. There had still been a part of you hoping that you wouldn't see much more than you already had. "Yeah- they come about this time of year- when it gets colder. I'm sure they'll have some more repellent in soon," you say, hoping he didn't notice the nervousness in you as the two of you reached the car. Once inside, however, you promptly dropped your keys before you could put them in the ignition. Nice. Real smooth. You continued talking as you reached down to grab them, "-or I can look into some home remedies. It's no big deal- they're harmless." That last bit was mostly a front to make you seem indifferent.
Harmless or not, you still hated them. It made you feel weak to admit it- not that you cared what they thought or anything- but showing vulnerability wasn't something you were used to. After all, you were still recovering from your talk with Yondu, and that was days ago.
Finally grasping your fallen keys you sit back up and insert the key into the ignition, but don't turn it just yet. You look to Peter now, trying to think of any other topic to switch to. Literally anything would be better than thinking about going back home to a house full of big-ass spiders.
Or so you thought.
You open your mouth to speak, intending to just pull a topic out of thin air, and then you hear it.
Blood turns icy in your veins as the awful wail creeps into your ears, and your chest tightens so that you can barely breathe. As your mouth closes, your eyes widen. However they do not focus on anything in particular- your vision beginning to cloud with images in your mind's eye. Broken glass. Twisted metal. Sickening yellow.
Peter sees the sudden change in you and speaks up in concern. "Agent?"
You don't even hear him, ears flooded with the terrible sound that's only getting louder. Turning away from him you begin to shake, now facing forward in your seat. No. No no no no. Please- Those words swim through your thoughts as horrific memories swim through your mind. Memories of pain… darkness… loss.
"Agent?" Peter says again, more concerned now. One moment you had been fine, and then you just froze- face falling into an expression of silent horror.
By now your breath is coming in an almost silent sob and you've brought one hand up to cover your mouth.
"Hey, hey- woah," Peter says gently, utterly confused about your sudden change in behavior but wanting to provide some sort of comfort. He reaches out to you and barely grazes your arm before you jerk away from him. Actually, he could tell it was less you pulling away, and more you had startled from the contact.
Terrible screeching. So much blood. Flashing lights. Please- No no no-
You seem to draw into yourself, and before long it starts to dawn on Peter what's happening. He had been too concerned with you to notice it before, but not only was it louder now, he caught a glimpse of it speeding on the road in the distance through the car window.
An ambulance, blaring it's siren. The sound he had played over and over that one night before realizing he really shouldn't have. Before he realized that sound had a dark effect on you he'd likely never understand. The sound that caused you to go out into the woods that night, the action that resulted in you getting shot.
Shit.
He looked at you, and could see you were barely with him anymore. Your gaze was distant and your waterline was flooded with yet unshed tears.
White sheets. Red stains. Darkness. Screeching. Pain. So much pain. Broken glass. Where are they- Blood. So much…
Peter felt he should do something, but he had no idea what to do. He knew of a couple guys on Yondu's crew that had PTSD, but he was never close to them. He had never witnessed anyone having a flashback before- if that's what this was. He had no idea how to help you. He couldn't mute the outside like he could the television.
Unless…
He knew it was a long shot, but it was worth a try. He reached over to the radio and hit the buttons, and turned the knobs, trying to get any other sound to drown out the siren that only seemed to be getting closer.
Unfortunately, nothing happened.
Fuck.
He looked and saw the key you had left in the ignition, and reached over to turn it, realizing that nothing in this damn vehicle must work without it. Stupid Terran caveman tech.
The lights on the dash came on. So did the radio.
Jackpot.
He quickly turned the volume knob and the music blared out, drowning out the siren. Having come on so suddenly and loudly, it also actually seemed to startle you out of whatever dark place you had gone. Not instantly, of course, but the resulting jolt managed to nudge your breathing towards a better rhythm.
You take a couple shuddery breaths as you start to come back around.
You are safe. You're in your car- but everything's fine. At least, as fine as it can be all things considered-
A blink made the tears finally escape your waterline and you quickly wiped them away, turning your face towards your window and away from Peter. You realized what happened and you wished he hadn't seen. You felt weak. In a voice that you tried to keep strong, you say, "I'm sorry."
Peter frowned. "Hey- don't do that. It's ok. You're ok." He glanced between you and the center console, and in what was probably a hasty decision, he reached across and pulled you into a very awkward hug.
Luckily for him, instead of being cross, this action, combined with the fact that "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard-" was blaring on the radio actually made you let out a short laugh. "What- What are you doing?"
"You looked like you could use a hug, and I happened to have one ready."
You didn't know how to respond, so you just laughed again and tapped out, pointing out that the center console was digging into your ribs.
Peter released you and you each settled back into your respective seats, where you both sit in silence- aside from the radio- for a little while.
After spending that while staring at your lap, you think to turn the radio down to a more appropriate level. By now the siren was long gone. In reality it had likely only been present for a few minutes, but it felt much longer. Looking at Peter for a moment, you finally speak again. "Um, thanks. For uh, not making this any weirder than it had to be. Sorry you had to see that." 'So much for not showing vulnerability,' you thought bitterly.
Peter scoffed lightly. "Don't be sorry. Look- I know I might not understand, but I do know it's not your fault."
You returned your gaze to your lap and he speaks up again.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
You let out a soft chuckle and smile sadly before meeting his gaze again. "Thanks, but I think I just want to go home now."
"Ok." He wasn't going to press it. He was just glad you hadn't had to go through that alone.
And so were you.
* * *
The ride home was mostly quiet. Peter could tell that while you might have been pulled from the bulk of that darkness with his radio trick, it wasn't a magic cure. It wasn't as if he had snapped his fingers and made you "instantly better." He knew better than that, and knew he should probably give you space.
You had made one request, however. That Peter not mention the incident to any of the others.
He agreed, and when the two of you finally returned to the house the two of you went about like nothing was wrong.
For Peter, it was easy.
For you, not so much.
After putting away the messages and grabbing something to eat you decided to go upstairs to try some breathing and meditation exercises you had learned a long time ago.
The last time you had a bad flashback like that was years ago, and you were shaken for several days afterward. Hopefully you could skip that this time -if that were even possible. You honestly thought you had gotten past the flashbacks. It's not like you still broke down like that every time you heard a siren "in the wild." Hell, you hadn't even had one that night Peter played it over and over again, so you didn't know why it happened today. Sure, you had lost it and screamed at him, but it didn't result in a flashback.
Was it stress? Sure you had more than enough to be stressed about lately... but surely none of that could make the flashbacks return, could it? You tried to remember what any of those therapists had said, but came up blank. Maybe you should have paid more attention during all that mandatory therapy... Maybe you should call- No. No you'd be fine. You don't need to be digging into old wounds. You just needed to 'mellow out' and take it easy for a bit. Everything will be fine if you just relax.
The exercises helped just enough that eventually you felt up to do something else, and you decided that something else would be to open your laptop and try searching some DIY spider repellent methods.
Unfortunately, once you got to your desk you were greeted with one of the little bastards sitting on top of your laptop before it skittered away to hide somewhere else on your desk when it noticed you.
Nope. No fecking way. You are not going to deal with this now. The last thing you needed right now was to have fecking spiders piled onto your nerves- more than they had already been that is. Not when you also were recovering from the incident in town.
But you also couldn't just leave it in your room…
Ok. Breathe. Just relax and you'll be fine.
Thinking quick you grab a cup with some pens from your desk, dump them out, and look to see if you can find where the spider had gone. Obviously your intent was to trap it under the glass, maybe leave it to suffocate. The spider however, had other plans, as the next time you saw it the fecker was bolting down the side of your desk and quickly scurried under the door and out of your room. Nearly gave you a heart attack too, but at least it had left your room.
Even though it was gone the whole event had sort of turned you off from sitting at your desk for the moment. Turning to grab your phone from the bed, you decide to do the research in the comfort of the sofa downstairs instead, but not before easing your door open to make sure the spider wasn't waiting right outside. Fortunately it was nowhere to be seen, and you made your way downstairs.
In the sitting room some of the others were watching TV, so you opted to sit in the rocking chair instead as you did your research.
The results were halfway promising, though did leave you wishing you had looked them up before you left the store. The most effective DIY it seemed was peppermint oil, of which you had none. The next best bets were citrus and white vinegar, which you luckily did technically have both, but the remedy called for "fresh squeezed lemons or citrus peels." Currently you only had a little bottle of lemon juice. Hopefully that would do, as you weren't looking forward to making your house smell like vinegar.
Just as you were getting up to to attempt the DIY repellent you saw two brown steaks cross the floor from under the couch. At first you were concerned they were more spiders, but you'd only be half right. One was a spider, the other was Groot- chasing the spider.
Speechless and restraining yourself from picking your feet up into the rocking chair, you witnessed the wooden child actually take a flying leap and land on the spider, which must have been nearly as wide as your hand. Then, in a move you could hardly comprehend, he shortly wrestles with the spider before putting the fecker in his mouth.
Groot looked up at you happily with half the spider hanging out of his mouth, it's legs kicking erratically as he chewed on it. All you could do is stare in disbelief- barely able to comprehend what you just saw with your own two eyes. He… ate it??? Alive??? How-??? The legs!? The thought made your stomach churn.
It didn't take long before Rocket came along and starting scolding Groot, telling him to spit it out, that he doesn't know where it's been.
Groot, apparently unwilling to part with his impromptu snack, attempted to make a face at Rocket (as his mouth was still overflowing with spider) and ran away from him, upon which Rocket gave chase, continuing to scold him as he did so.
You blinked and just sat there for a moment, processing what you had just seen. Eventually you finally decide to attempt that DIY spider repellent, and that you might like a drink while you did so.
According to the website, you needed the juice from half a lemon mixed with water and to put it in a spray bottle. Unfortunately, it didn't say how much water. You also weren't sure how much juice would equal 'half a lemon.' Come to think about it, you weren't even completely sure you had a spray bottle.
Well, might as well try to find one first before bothering with the rest.
So, first pouring yourself a drink from an opened whiskey bottle in the fridge, you set out to look under the sink to see if you had any empty spray bottles down there- only to witness a spider scurrying away inside the cabinet as soon as you opened the door.
You jolted right out of your skin and shut the cabinet. Nope. Not dealing with that. Looked like there probably wasn't an empty spray bottle in there anyway...
Taking a long swig from your glass you decided to check the bathroom closets instead.
The downstairs bathroom proved fruitless, as did the upstairs, so you tried to rack your brain on where else you might keep one, if you even had one. The only other logical place might be in the cellar, as you were fairly certain you wouldn't find one in the attic. Even so, you debated going down there as you had a feeling you just didn't have an empty spray bottle at all.
With a sigh and another sip of your whiskey you decide to go for a look.
There was no spray bottle to be found down there. There were, however, several spiders, most of them smaller than what you'd been seeing upstairs, nesting in the corners of each room in the cellar.
At this point you were starting to feel slightly nauseous. Today was just not being a good day. First you wake up to spiders, then you can't find any repellent in town, then 'the incident'-as you were calling it, and now everywhere you turned there just seemed to be more spiders. To make matters worse you couldn't even bring yourself to run up the stairs to get away from them, despite your instinct, in case someone heard you and got concerned- because there was no way in hell you were going to confess that you were running away from some damned spiders.
Upon returning to the kitchen you finished off your drink to calm your nerves and decided you'd try cooking dinner in an attempt to further settle yourself down. A simple task to put your mind elsewhere. You'd be fine. Just breathe, and focus on another task.
Fortunately, dinner went just fine. Spaghetti was the choice you made, along with the decision to cook dinner for the whole house, and you managed to do so without any unpleasantness. Everyone even got along without any bickering when it came time to sit down and eat as well.
After the dishes were done you thought you could try to top the day off by curling up in your room with the book you had intended to read the previous day. Try to end the day on a better note and then wake up to better day tomorrow.
As you obtained your book from the sitting room you noticed everyone else was either watching TV or playing cards at the table. This meant you'd likely have the upstairs to yourself for awhile, something you wouldn't argue against. Some peace and quiet was sure to help in your quest to 'mellow out.'
Thoughts of cozying up in your warm bed to read helped make you feel better as you opened the door to your room and walked inside. You weren't usually one to curl up under the covers unless you were going to bed, but you felt like you were probably overdue for a simple comfort like this.
Just as you were turning back your covers & preparing to snuggle-in your eye caught something by your pillow.
You tensed as you thought you recognized what looked suspiciously like a couple legs of a certain creature that you knew all too well and very much despised, but then you relaxed again. Took a breath. Tried to think rationally.
Surely it's not. It wouldn't be. You've never found one in your bed in your whole life of living in this house, you highly doubted they'd start now. Peter must have somehow gotten your fake spider back from Yondu and thought he'd play a prank. Probably hoping that if you were focused on a prank war your mind wouldn't be trapped in any bad thoughts or memories. That was the case, surely.
Denial is one hell of a drug.
You rolled your eyes as you reached down and lifted your pillow up, only to drop it just as quickly and jerk back from your bed.
Not only was the spider real- and huge- it had a (slightly smaller) mate. Surprisingly they didn't seem phased by you uncovering them, or your sudden movements. They just laid still, as if asserting dominance.
No. No no no. Not ok. You couldn't handle this. Not in your bed. Nope. Nope nope.
Barely breathing, you didn't even have a chance to clear your head enough to think of a solution before one of them moved- and then you bolted.
There was a brick in your stomach and you needed air. Heart was thundering in your chest and your footsteps were coming a bit rushed as you descended the stairs, but you didn't care. You just needed out. You didn't even bother to grab your jacket and only moments passed before you cleared the back door and the cold night air hit you in the face.
It was only then that you realized you also hadn't bothered to throw on any shoes, and you had regained enough presence of mind to be grateful that at least the ground was dry as you made your way toward the shed.
Not really having a plan as to where you were headed, you stopped and rested against the backside of the shed. The wood was cold against your back as you took some deep breaths, attempting to keep yourself quiet and tell yourself not to scream. It was all you could do to keep the tears back.
Perhaps if the incident in town hadn't already taken a massive hit to your defenses you might be better able to deal with this, see that it wasn't actually a world-ending event, but you weren't exactly in a current position to think rationally. All you knew is that you were NOT okay.
Spiders were in your bed! How could you sleep knowing spiders were in your fucking bed?! The thought of them crawling on you while you slept was too much. Visions of giant-ass house spiders crawling over your face filled your head. As irrational as the images may be, you couldn't help but see spiders trying to crawl in your mouth- your eyes- You felt sick, and your shaking now had almost nothing to do with the cold. You didn't know what to do, so you tried to take deeper, slower breaths, trying to still your rapidly beating heart. You just needed a moment to pull yourself together and then you could think. But you couldn't think- all you wanted to do was scream-
"Bit cold to be wanderin' without a jacket on, don't ya think?"
A gruff voice had spoken up out of nowhere beside you, and they really shouldn't have done that. Sure, they couldn't have known your current state, or that because of it this startle would have triggered a fight response in you. But it did, and unfortunately for them, before you could even think you were already swinging out to deck whoever it was in the face.
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amelia-mariee · 1 year
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i try to not be delusional about ships. i just want the bare minimum here.
like I know that marvel would never make mantis x nebula canon. it is just too much to hope for. all i ask is that they are still together (and i mean that so loosely) at the end of vol. 3, like not on opposite sides of the galaxy. and yes i multi-ship so the same thing goes for kraglin and nebula.
and i genuinely do not know what they’re going to do with quill and gamora. part of me believes that gamora will fall back in love, because, yes she doesn’t have all the same memories as our gamora, but it’s still gamora. then again, the other part of me thinks that the movie is going to go the sadder route with them not falling back in love because quill’s gamora is truly gone and you cannot bring her back. either way, all i ask is that they’re still together in the end, that gamora stays with the team when the movie ends or maybe they’re just still in contact with each other.
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nix-fics · 8 months
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Rocket's Little Girl
When a small Terran child is abducted and experimented on for months, she makes a friend. Little did she know, that she would help him as much as he helped her. "You know, your fur is really pretty," she said louder, determined to keep his attention. Subject 89P13’s fur bristled instantly; his head snapped to look at her with the most shocked face Phoenix had ever seen. "What!?" he croaked out. Phoenix could not help but giggle at this, "Your fur! It looks soft! The color is also the opposite of the walls. " A matter-of-fact tone laced her words as she perked up. Subject 89P13 genuinely was bewildered. "The walls?" he echoed. All he got was a curt nod from the little girl.
TW: Blood, Child experimentation, kidnapping, needles, depressing themes.
Chapter One
White rooms. 
That's what laboratories are always portrayed with. 
The sterile halls, the fluorescent lights, hushed experiments gone wrong.
It sounds like a horrible place on paper, but living through it is another whole monstrosity. Not a single depiction has described how loud it always feels. The hallways tower above you like mountains, the ceiling an unreachable and manufactured sky. Every small noise from a pin dropping to a featherlight footstep was made into a loud roar. It echoed and echoed until your skull started to rattle, and it never faded, because your own breathing would become warped and echo back to you in a garbled voice. Your own body soon became your enemy, as it betrayed you day in and day out. 
Nothing felt private. Nothing felt sacred. Nothing was your own. Even if you spent a lifetime in this sterile prison, you would never feel comfortable. You’d never feel warm or at peace. The floors would always remain cold and sticky to your bare feet, which would always make your feet sore when you finally sat back down. Instead of your clothing becoming comfortable and molding to your body over time, the fabric would always feel coarse. Sometimes, after you woke up, you would have a rash from where the fabric was pressed on too tightly. Breathing even felt like an action that wasn’t even your own. The air tasted stale and recycled, after a few days indoors you forget what a breeze felt like. It was all so sickening bright, so sickeningly clean, and so sickeningly loud. The fluorescent lights would always taunt you and remind you of a sun, but lack the warmth, and always let out a loud droning hum. It was always too bright. 
 "Too bright… " Phoenix thought. 
She tried to blink in an attempt to get used to the light burning into her eyes. Her efforts were in vain, and all she got in return was dry eyes. The sleep in her eyes only added to her discomfort. With a whine, the little girl attempted to rub her eyes, nothing happened, so she tried it again. As her consciousness was slowly being regained, she could feel the pressure of some metallic edges digging into her wrists. 
Phoenix then turned her head to the side, trying to get some respite from the bright lights, only to be met with the torsos of strangers in green. The clothes they wore were familiar but completely void of wear and tare. A wave of realization washed over the 9 year old. She remembered this place. This was the place they would take her and- 
A sense of dread filled her gut, making her throat dry up. She started to tug on her restraints, ignoring the pain against her bone.
"No-no… I don't want… here." She muttered out, her voice shaking. She was still being affected by whatever they were pumping into her, so she could hardly make a coherent sentence. A sense of helplessness caused her to try to suck up as much air as she could, only to just let it all out at once, and soon this process began to repeat. 
The people in white walked around her, taking notes and checking the distant screens. If Phoenix's eyes weren't being clouded with tears she would have probably been able to read them. She started to shake her head in an attempt to distract herself, to get away, or something similar. 
Her small voice choked out “i wa-nt to go hom-me." 
A faint sense of accomplishment flooded her mind when her weak struggling got some attention. She let out a small wail when the pain in her wrists became too much to handle. With a frustrated groan, she eased up on struggling, soon resorting to speaking since she had their attention. A larger person in green scurried over and quickly inspected her. 
"The chemicals wore off, subject is conscious"
"Put it under again." 
Phoenix didn't like the way these people talked about her. It made her feel small, well, smaller. She felt the tears begin to run down her cheeks. She hated feeling as if she were an animal unworthy of interaction or consideration. She voiced this with the most strength she could muster in her current state. 
"nO- I D-DON'T LIKE THIS-" 
Her moment of strength seemed to only make it worse, because she then caught a glimpse of a needle nearing her. Her mind was soon clear of any Haze, and she became aware of the fact she couldn't feel her legs. She couldn't stop herself from beginning to tremble and shake, afraid to even glance down.
" Yes ma'am. " The bigger person in white responded. 
The person came near and grabbed her left forearm holding it still, their grip too tight, and the gloves irritating her skin even more. 
  Phoenix attempted to thrash, but felt like her limbs weighed a hundred pounds. She couldn't handle another needle or injection. She couldn't handle falling asleep again. To aid her objection she let out a broken scream, which began to sting her throat. But it didn't matter how much thrashing or yelling she did because in the end, she was still a prisoner. She still wasn't her own. She was their object. She didn't have a single choice in her life that wasn't made by someone else and in moments like these, that reality made itself incredibly clear. 
The ice cold needle slid into her arm and the doctor pushed the sedative into her frail body.
A final desperate scream tore through before the girl's eyes shut, her world going dark and her body going numb. 
……
She missed her family more than anything. Her daddy would know what to do. Her mommy would find her. They loved her, they told her so every day. They would find her. She was certain of it. She had to be. 
And so, every day she would wait. Eyes glued to the door, waiting for her parents. Always waiting only to always be heartbroken and devastated when she was met with a man in strange armor placing a tray of food. In moments like those she was reminded that she, in fact, was very hungry. So she would eat, fall asleep, then wake up with a new bandage or a new ache in her body. It was maddening, and months of this passed by with her still hoping, longing, and believing that her parents would come for her. 
She would always begin to remember the time she spent when she would play with her family. She would try to remember what her mom and dad would sound like when they laughed, but as time passed, doing that made her feel worse. She would never admit it, but she had forgotten what they sounded like, and soon couldn't remember the details of their faces. all good things must come to an end so they say.
 Phoenix didn't even know when she broke, but she knew it happened. She was forced to realize her family wasn't coming back. She realized she didn't even know how long she had been left there. She didn't even know if her birthday had passed… She was alone. Alone… Alone…  Alone… 
Sitting and waiting was quickly replaced with screaming, crying, and hitting the walls. Day after day, Phoenix would scream and yell but no change ever came. She even tried to attack the man who gave her food, which resulted in a nasty bruise on her eye that swelled. She learned very quickly that it was more trouble than it was worth to throw tantrums. Soon she became tired of crying, she became tired of tantrums, and so she began to become hopelessly docile. The silence was deafening, but the echo if she did speak was painful. The noise of her own voice was sickening to her now.
  She soon began to try to get used to her schedule. She would sit and sit, alone and unbearingly uncomfortable, they would feed her mush, she would fall asleep, and when they were done with whatever they did, back into her room Phoenix would go. Never a toy or something like it to keep her company. Not a single thing to distract herself from the place she remained. The walls were far too empty and clean to even make shapes out. The only company was the all too bright lights above her. Always on, always looming, always cold.
……
At this point Phoenix lost count how many days, weeks, or months passed. It could've been years for all she knew, but she hadn't really grown much, so she doubts it. Today was just like any other day, the same silence and drone of the lights above, she stared at her legs, tracing over the scars on them, not really noticing that her skin didn't feel her own fingers on some particular spots. She flexed her toes and began to try to move one at a time. A dull sense of pride caused the slightest of smiles to grace her features because she realized she has improved her control over her toes. 
She heard footsteps approaching her room. She let her hands drop to her sides and she stared at the door expectantly, her smile dissipating. Another meal, she curiously wondered where her new scar would be. Instead of her usual meal of mush that greeted her, she instead saw the man in the armor holding nothing but his weapon. A newfound terror found its way into Phoenix's gut as she scrambled into the corner. 
"Wh-what did I do??!!" She yelled at the man. Her body began to tremble and shake without her being able to control it. 
In response the guard began to walk over to her, causing Phoenix to cover her face with her hands, curling up. Instead of a hit of pain, she felt the person's hand grab her upper arm and practically rip it out of its socket. She let out an involuntary wail of terror as she was yanked to her feet. Before she could comprehend what was happening the person began to drag her out of the room at a faster pace than Phoenix had walked in who knows how long. 
Phoenix could barely stand let alone walk, so she was constantly stumbling over her own feet. She could honestly admit she was too scared to see where she was being dragged. All that she could comprehend is that she was being taken to some horrific place and that she would be awake during one of the experiments, or worse, she could've lost her use. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks and all she could do was bury her face into her free hand, blindly being dragged through the halls. 
The noise was too loud, her feet painfully dragged on the ground as it clung to her flesh. The noise leaving a squeaking echo, making her want to puke. The distant wails and screams made louder the farther she was dragged. Her hands soon went from her eyes to her ear, trying to block them out. She hadn't even noticed the fact she had started to hyperventilate. 
Then, all at once, she was tossed onto some metal floor haphazardly. She hit the ground with a loud thud, it was all she could do to not open her eyes. Instead, she just curled up as she heard the sound of a latch closing. The ache on her skin where she was dragged was already beginning to bruise. She didn't want to open her eyes. She just wanted to get out of this place. She didn’t even remember where she wanted to go, just someplace not sterile. All she could continue to do was cry. So she remained curled up, hoping to just fall asleep.
“Some of us are trying to sleep in here!” a raspy voice called out. 
Phoenix instinctively flinched at the sudden voice. Another voice? Not just a voice, this one was different from the usual monotone voices that plagued her thoughts. Not even similar to the voices that would drone on and on behind closed doors, or when a sedative would wear off. 
"Oh my god, there's a kid now." another voice mumbled, seemingly to themself.
“People?” Phoenix thought. In a moment of hesitant hope, she took a chance to glance up, not sure what she was expecting to see. What greeted her were mats on the floor that lined each unbearingly white wall. Each held Animals, Creatures, and a few humans, none seemed to be her age, making Phoenix feel embarrassed that she had been on the floor crying seconds earlier. 
She glanced around the room, trying to gather more of her barings. Not many stared at the small girl for long, seeming to not want to accept her presence. Some of the ones that would meet her gaze soon turned away in what seemed like disgust or irritation. Phoenix wiped a tear track from her face, trying to calm her beating heart. She hadn’t realized she was still crying. With a resounding sniff, she sat on her knees. 
Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as her old room. At least she isn’t alone anymore. Phoenix attempted to ignore the gnawing in the back of her mind that it was going to get much worse, somehow. After spotting an open mat in the farest corner of the room, Phoenix shakily stood up, making her way to the unoccupied space. While she attempted to stumble to the back of the room, growls and snarls would  greet her if she tripped too close to an individual. 
Their eyes followed her every move. Phoenix felt exposed, the hair on the back of her neck standing, she felt as if one wrong move would have her killed. Not that she hadn't before but now, with all these creatures looking at her like prey, it made her heart race. As she neared the back of the room the girl stumbled to the mat in the corner. As far away as possible from the beings. The mat was just as stiff as the one in her old room. The pillow case was quite literally a burlap sack and the blanket was no more than a thin sheet. 
“At least I have a blanket.” she optimistically thought.  The second her knees touched the cushion she heard the sound of a strong electricity surge around her, causing her to involuntarily yelp. She frantically glanced around the room, no one seemed phased. She did manage to pick up on the slight discoloration of the white around her. Curiosity that she had forgotten she still had immediately gave her a wide eyed expression. She scooched close to the edge of the discoloration and stared at it. She blew on it and felt her own breath blow back. A smile graced her feature as she went to poke it. Her joy only increased, her hand felt fuzzy when she touched it. A part of hew realized she now had a smaller space to exist, but now she had a tingly wall, which was a decent trade off. She soon let her hand sprawl out over the barrier, seeing it grow slightly glitchy, but she enjoyed the tickling on her hand. Most of the other experiments had gone back to ignoring her at this point, but a few glares had returned because she was becoming an irritant.
Noticing the tension in the air, her smile immediately retreated as she looked down at her lap. Phoenix turned away hoping they would go back to trying to sleep. She decided today she wouldn’t focus on the barrier, instead she would cover herself with a sheet she never had before. After scampering on top of the mat, Phoenix took a glance around the room. As long as she stayed quiet and out of the way, no one would bother her. With a delicate maneuver, she snuggled herself under the sheet. Somehow, in the large, cold, and echoing room, Phoenix found herself just relieved she is no longer alone. Even if the people around her weren’t kind, they were like her.
……
Phoenix never wanted the silence ever again. She never wanted to go back to being alone ever again, but in moments like these she second guessed herself. The hallways outside of the doors echoed loud enough into the room where she was curled up. A scream far too violent to result in anything good. It was all the little girl could do to hide herself under the sheet and cover her ears as tightly as she could, but it could never block it out. “ kid.” She fainty heard a familiar voice call, but she didn’t make a move. The screaming continued to fill the room, it made her want to throw up. Her stomach churned as she heard a loud crash. Phoenix began to shake her head violently, then began to hit her head, trying to distract herself. “Kid!” the voice repeated, louder and angrier than before. It apparently was enough because it caused phoenix to peek out from under the thin sheet at the creature across from her. “I was worried you knocked yourself out or somethin'.” Phoenix didn’t smile at this, she instead flinched at the yells from the guards. Nothing the creature had said to her in the past ever seemed to help her. He snapped at her when she asked about the strange men, telling her that they were actually called the security. He always seemed to be angry with her, the more and more people disappeared the more frightened she would feel, and the meaner he would get. 
She faintly heard a tired sigh from the creature. “You got a name?” he sounded like he was straining to remove the growl from his voice. Phoenix looked at the creature and took a slow breath “...Phoenix?” “gee kid do you not even know your own-” just as he began, he stopped, took a deep breath, then started over “That’s a nice name… “ 
"Thank you…What's- what's your name?" 
Phoenix spoke hesitantly to not anger him again, she wasn’t sure how this snappy creature would react to her in general. The creature looked at Phoenix with an expression akin to bewilderment or frustration. After a few seconds of him gauging her expression his mouth twitched as he looked at the wall to his side, crossing his arms casually
 " 89P13."
 Phoenix scrunched her nose at this. "That's not a name.. that's just a lot of numbers."
The small creature took a deep breath in and closed his eyes. His ear twitched before  opening his mouth to explain.
"Well-"
"What's something you like?" 
Subject 89P13 didn't know how to respond to this small child. She was genuinely curious, he could see it but he knew he couldn't play into her little game. Getting to know people didn't help anyone here. He honestly had no idea why he even tried to spark up a conversation anyway.
"Doesn't matter. " He ended the conversation as quickly as it had started. Padding back to his mat, he sat down, back facing the small girl. It wouldn't help to talk to her. 
Phoenix stared at the angry little creature's back. That was her first conversation that had lasted over a minute. A newfound determination and desperation to not let it end filled her chest, her fingers twitched with eagerness, because this was also the first time 89P13 hadn't completely snapped at her.
“You know your fur is really pretty” she spoke louder than before, determined to keep his attention. 
Subject 89P13’s fur bristled instantly, his head snapped to look at her with the most shocked face phoenix had ever seen. “What!?” he croaked out.
Phoenix couldn't help but giggle at this, “your fur! It looks soft! The color is also the opposite of the walls.” A matter of fact tone laced her words as she perked up.
Subject 89P13 genuinely was bewildered. “The walls?” he echoed. All he got was a curt nod from the little girl. 
"They sometimes hurt my eyes. They get too bright. The lights hurt sometimes too. But they tell me to not talk about it. They used to say I talk too much.  I learned that they won't hurt me as much if I stay quiet " Phoenix took a moment to actually breathe. 
Subject 89P13 stared dumbfounded at the little girl. He honestly felt like he just opened a can of worms he wouldn’t be able to close again. 
"That's why I said your fur is pretty. It's nice to look at and doesn't hurt my eyes. And it looks warm. Are you always warm? Or do you get cold? "
The small creature had no idea how to respond to this. The fact that someone, this tiny girl nonetheless, was trying to continue a conversation. She was clueless, she had to be. Phoenix was staring at him with a hopeful expression on her face. A part of him couldn’t actually conjure the energy to snap at her, so with a resounding huff, he responded.
"Uh- I don't get cold. "
Phoenix grinned at his answer and tried again at her first question " What do you like? "
Subject 89P13 found himself answering even though he'd have a better time not even acknowledging the runt.
"I like sleeping." he answered shortly, only to catch the girl’s excitement dull. He growled to himself before giving a better answer. “ I like making things. “ 
He felt his stomach churn as he heard an excited gasp, he had to close his eyes to try and hide his grimace. A soft pitter-patter of Phoenix's feet echoed throughout the room as she got close to the barrier.
" What kind of things? " She asked in wonder.
“Great,” Subject 89P13 groaned to himself.
“ I build things like… “ Subject 89P13 looked for the simplest of words to describe his ‘hobby’ “remotes..?”
“ remotes? “ Phoenix scrunched her nose. "That doesn't sound exciting" she thought. "For what?" 
" For- things. "
"What kind of things?" 
Subject 89P13 was growing annoyed with her never ending curiosity. " Bomb things. Now stop asking questions." 
Phoenix tried to stay quiet, she really did but she just needed to ask one more little question.
"What do you need bombs for? Are you a spy-" 
" Just Shut UP! " he barked at Phoenix. 
The young girl flinched at his raised tone, her expression immediately falling. She looked away and shuffled back to her mat. She ducked under her sheet and turned to the wall, she would’ve apologized but decided being quiet was better. She attempted to not let it get to her, but of course, her shaky breathing echoed through the room. After a little bit she quieted down, her eyelids growing heavy. She welcomed sleep the second it came.
…… 
At some point, Phoenix had become old enough to be awake during the testing. She didn't know what marked her ready for that, but over the last 15 times, Phoenix had been poked, prodded, and injected with a wide arrangement of needles and liquids. On some special days she would be knocked unconscious, then wake up with a large bandage somewhere with stitched. Today was one of those days.
She was now laying on her bed already tracing the bruises forming across her body. The damage most definitely internal this time. There was a new pain behind her eyes, almost that akin to a migraine. The more she thought about it the worse it got, so she tried to turn her attention to other things. 
People began to disappear a short while after she arrived. She didn't really understand where they were taken, subject 89P13 never seemed to tell her, so she decided not to pry. As of now, the room she once felt threatened in was now becoming an empty cage like the one she was trapped in for as long as she could remember.  Subject 89P13 was still around and every once in a while they would have a small conversation, his patience for her seeming to improve the older she got. There seemed to be a moment that neither one was going anywhere, and neither one wanted to. 
Today seemed to be one of subject 89P13's test days, due to his absence. So it was silent, the stuffy and loud silence she had grown to despise. The one that haunted her every waking moment. She hated it more than she could comprehend. Phoenix huffed and diverted her attention to a way to keep the silence to a minimum. Humming to herself she discovered seemed to work. For better or for worse, there wasn't anyone in here to be bothered by it anyway… 
So little Phoenix sat there humming out different tunes, building upon her previous works. In the end she started coming up with lyrics too, none of which made much sense but that wasn't the point. It was a shred of happiness and she grasped on to it. One of the few things she truly believes is her own. One of the only things that they don't own.
A loud screech of the door interrupted her song, making Phoenix jump. On instinct she scooted herself onto her mat and pulled her pillow close, keeping her gaze on the ground. 
The loud footsteps of the guards were a silent promise of her companion returning, so despite her fear of them, their presence was welcome. 
There was a pained grunt and a loud thud coming from across the room, then the all familiar whir of electricity. Then the footsteps faded, and their presence was gone with a resounded slam of the door. 
The sound still echoing a few seconds after they disappeared. Once it was silent, Phoenix could just about make out and strained breathing from across the room.
Slowly, Phoenix looked up from the ground and was greeted with the all familiar brown creature in a fetal position. Her gut seemed to weigh thousands of pounds at the sight of  new electrical attachments littering his back; the fur was freshly shaved and the skin was grotesquely raw. She set her pillow to the side as delicately as possible and crawled to the edge of her barrier. All she could do for a while was stare in horror, her eyes watering.  
"Are you ok?" She barely whispered out. 
The room took her voice and easily carried it to the creature despite her initial volume. In return, he growled out something Incoherent, his back still to her. The strain in his voice was palpable, and seemed to end with a stunted wail in pain. He clearly wasn't able to speak even if he wanted to. 
Phoenix shut her mouth and felt helpless. This was worse than she had ever even imagined. Her own aches seemed to disappear and were replaced with dread. Or was it anger?
Silence filled the air, consistently being broken with a strained groan from 89P13. It was all she could do to try to look for something to help him. All she could do was draw a blank. And so she remained sitting at the edge of her barrier, feeling small, well, smaller. 
" a…at least your fur is still pretty…?"
A bark of a laugh that sounded more like a gasp of pain was the response she got. " you.. and your thing with fur- Gah- !"
89P13 could hardly speak without it feeling like his insides were being ripped apart. Yet somehow he managed to laugh. His grimace was practically a sneer, but the corners of it turned up. "This kid" he silently laughed to himself. 
Phoenix's frown turned into a look of horror as she saw the small creature force himself to roll over. She got the smaller glimpse of parts of his skin breaking and red peaking out. Then she met his eyes. " your… your back was red " she spoke as softly as she could. 
89P13 couldn't help but slightly grin at this. " what's n-new… " he strained through clenched teeth. 
Phoenix scowled at the creature, which honestly amused him. "Are you going to lecture me-?" He quirked a brow, as his body started to sweat. 
"Please, don't disappear." She spoke just as softly as she usually did. 
And there it was. The thing 89P13 wanted to avoid, attachment. Be it the strain it was to speak, or the sudden shock, he honestly couldn't tell, but he just stared. 
"I don't want to be alone again." Phoenix was unashamed to admit it. It was more selfish than she wanted to acknowledge, but it was true. Right now, she didn't know what else she wanted to say anyway. 
On 89P13's side, he was practically a statue. He swallowed dryly and soon winced in pain.
Taking a shaky breath, " me neither, kid " he barely muttered out. 
They met each other's gaze, in a silent promise. Phoenix wanted to say much more, but she knew nothing would've really mattered. 89P13's gaze softened and after a few seconds, he blinked slowly before rolling onto his stomach, shutting his eyes fully. The blood now clearly staining the edges of his fur. 
With that she turned back to her wall and layed down. Her aches weren’t gone but thinking about his injuries made Phoenix feel oddly numb to her own ailments. She didn't have metal in her body, well there was none that she knew of, and here she was being sad about it when he was in a lot more pain then her. 
As she snuggled onto her mat she thought of all the ways to make him feel better. Maybe she could make a remote. He liked remotes. 
Phoenix decided that someday, she would make a remote for 89P13.
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gallifreyriver · 1 year
Text
"I'm not sorry for loving you... I'm not sorry. I'm angry and tired and restless and sad I'm stuck in the moments I swore that we had I wish you would chase me Or try to embrace me For once, I wish you would lie and say-"
"I love you"
"...You do?"
"But not in the way that you want me to."
-An exchange between Peter and Gamora in GOTG 3, probably.
(original lyrics from Jorge Rivera-Herrans' Epic the Musical)
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