#srsly stop this a lot of people gets hurt by this type of things

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Hi mom... it's been awhile! How are you? I hpe you're doing great because... I'm not, not really. I thought I was but clearly I'm not.

I want to rant but idk where and I can only think of ranting here :')

So um... Here's the thing, ever since I was little, I've always been alone. Workaholic parents and no siblings until the age of 11. And so I've always had trouble with connecting with people. Often came out as 'strong', 'loud', annoying and some said pushover. I...tried to connect... tried to change myself for the better...but idk. I'm about to turn 20 next year and it's fucking terrifying you know? I'm alone in university (i got no Friends that's from my highschool or during my foundation year) so I basically have to start over.

That was when I met my 'friends' and we immediately have group consist of 5 people including me. I thought everything was okay. Untill they slowly drifting apart from me... And I can't help but keep on questioning myself.... Am I at fault here? Is it me? Am I the problem? I know people would say 'let it be, know your worth' or 'they are probably busy, they have their own life too' and stuff like that but srsly? To the point that ignoring me, going out without me...it makes me feel like they're avoiding me. And it hurts...a lot. I tried not think too much about it but..yea. I can't-

A few days ago, one of them uploaded an edit of them doing some trend that required then to answer google form like... "Who will die first in Zombie apocalypse" kinda questions and then shows the statistics with their pictures (idk how to explain lmao) but in that video...Every girl was there. Like everyone was there. Even the one that's not even in the original group of 5. Everyone except me. And that has to be something... And I think I know where I stand now. Plus...

A few hours ago, I uploaded a status that said maybe I don't have any luck in friendship department. And guess what? One of them replied and she said

"Not everything needs luck, sometimes manners and attitude will do"

And of course I was weirded out cuz what the hell was that supposed to mean? So we talked and she told me about how maybe there's something wrong with my attitude and how I should change and stuff and then we came to the topic about 'am I annoying?' I asked her. And she said yes I am and that sometimes she can handle it but other than that no. And I was...like oh I see so I am the problem. Which is not really surprising because huh... It's always like that

And I told her I understand what she was trying to say and told her that I like being friends with and she said the same which is good but then she said...she liked my confidence but she doesn't like my confidence to the point that I 'downgrade others' and tbh I don't know if I ever did that Because i don't think I ever did that? Not that I know of... Because I swear even if I did...i did not mean it and it was unintentional...but now that I think of this their attitude as of late really said it all...idk anymore.

Maybe idk...maybe I should just stop making friends in general and just accept things the way it is?

It's not that I don't have friends at all..I do have but just that, just...Friends. not the type of friends that will literally be at your beck and call you know? Not friends enough to be able to call "my people" kinda stuff like oh she's my best/great friend! Idk how to explain but i hope you get the point.

Some people might be fine not having anyone. But I'm not. I don't like being alone. It's lonely. I've been living with loneliness ever since I was little and I don't want it anymore. If some people can live with that then good for them... but not me... I don't like being alone. It's more like it's scary to be alone.

I guess that's all...sorry for dumping everything I just need to let it out.

-Tendou anon

First off, I’m doing well! I’m so sorry you are having a difficult time and I promise you can always vent here. It might take me a while to get to it, but if it helps to vent my asks are always open! Everyone needs a safe space!

Second off, I’m going to respond with complete honestly here because that’s how I am as a person and my philosophy isn’t to sugar coat things because I don’t think it helps address the issue.

So there problem here isn’t you, it’s that this group of people you associate with might not be the best fit for your personality and style. There’s nothing wrong with being loud, outgoing, awkward or “annoying” because when you find friends who work with you, you realize that those things aren’t issues in your friendship.

I’m in my 30s and I have two really good friends. I have several online friends but I have two REALLY SOLID friends. One I’ve known for 16 years and another I’ve been friends with less than 2 years (actually I met her on here). My one friend I see maybe every few months and my online friend I chat with everyday and we video chat as well. I have a lot of support from online friends as well that I simply chat with.

Now this works for me, I’m a pretty social and outgoing person. I’m blunt and kind of chaotic but my friends aren’t bothered by that because we compliment each other.

I’m not saying these friends aren’t nice or couldn’t be good support but it almost seems like they want you to change or that they are saying you are the problem which isn’t ok to say. It would be one thing is you were a complete bitch or rude to them every time but it doesn’t seem that way. It seems like they want you to fit into a certain box that you just don’t fit in.

Also, I’m an only child and I was left to play alone a lot as a child so I understand how hard it can be to socialize. But believe me when I say that you will find friends who appreciate you for who you are! You are still so young and now is a great time to find yourself, go out, talk with random people and be outgoing!

Being alone is scary and right now it might feel like you will be alone forever but you won’t be! College is sometimes just as bad as high school, people form groups and think that everyone has to conform to that but in reality, you are all learning to be adults. Technically from the age of 18-25 is considered a “young adult” which means you are still developing, still learning how to be social and function in society!

I know me saying this isn’t really helpful but try not to put so much pressure on yourself. If there’s one thing I wish I could tell my younger 20 year old self, it would be that it’s ok to be weird, it’s ok to be loud and it’s to make mistakes! Be yourself and put yourself first!

I apologize for how unorganized this is 😅 I literally have zero sense of organization 😂

Xoxoxo and just know, you are very loved and we appreciate you 🖤

#my lovely bbys #tendou anon

[ahundredtimesover]

Okay so why I follow you?

First of all certainly 'cause of your fics, like I know the creators while viewing their contents get bored and feel it like it is too predictable but mimi I really want u to read ur fics from our perspective, they are pure GOLD. Your ideas and plots are so intriguing, unique, heart touching.Your characters are soft and relatable.The way u touch simple yet important topics/ stages /subjects of life. You are the best hurt/comfort writer here.Your magic of making us feel what your character is feeling.And i would really like to compliment u on this part that it's not everyone's cup of tea to understand the emotions so damn well. Not only understanding but writing that. The way you describe those feelings in such simple words. You have the power to make us feel bad even for the villain. I am getting short of words so I'll stop. But just know I LOVE ur writing like real real love not just superficial one.💐So I thank heavens for giving u writing for a hobby. And thank u so much for writing and choosing to share ur content with us.

Second, as a person u r such a sweet and sensitive person. Like u r the first blog I followed here( after reading inevitable) . So im following u for a long time.And it is quite tough to get the real personality of a person only through screen(mainly texts) but I have seen how calmly and maturely u respond to ur asks even when they get a bit negative.you give the vibe of a gud natured person.I want to learn how to maintain your composure and being sensible. Even ur fics display ur kind and courteous yet strong attitude. I have become a fan not only of ur fics,ur blog but of u.

Third of course because u r an army😂. But are you? 🤔😂(just kidding)

Hey now, I didn’t expect all this love 🥹 This is srsly one of the sweetest things anyone’s said to me!!

I always try to add something new when I write, like a different take or perspective and something to make you think. I want you guys to read it and feel happy and comforted, that somewhere in the world, someone understands what you’re feeling. “Soft and relatable” is why I write my characters that way. And I think in everything I do, I just want it to mean something, even if it’s just to myself that’s why my stories are often personal, and I’m just so happy the stories mean a lot to you, too 🥺 I’ve come to appreciate and understand emotions as a means of coping, and writing has been most helpful in that way. You guys reading is you sharing my joys and pains with me, that’s why I’ll always be grateful 🥰

And aakskakskqlak I wasn’t always like this! I have a usually strong personality but my mentor told me once that I can’t be “ra-ra-ra”/fight mode all the time (I was the type who’d fight people on Twitter over historical injustices and sexist shit) - that’s not how you get to people. And I think being in my line of work has softened me even more, but yes, I’ve always been sensitive. I appreciate you appreciating those parts of me 🥹🥹🥹 and just for sending me this lovely message and making me feel better! 🥰

And ARMY u say??? I can’t not be even if I tried. It’s my badge of honor 😉

Drop any of these in my ask box!

#mimianswers #mimi rambles #mimi things #💌 #drop an ask!

[chocolvte]

TXT REACTION — the members as your best friends

REQUEST — hi bae !! u r srsly one of my fav fic writers here and PLEASE don’t rush my req it’s ok !! take ! ur ! time ! queen ! but can i req txt as best friends hehe

LISTEN TO — heaven’s cloud by seventeen

YEONJUN

he became your friend in elementary school when you were little. he sat behind you and wouldn’t stop pulling your hair or poking at you with his pencil bc he thought you were cute.

but now you’re just besties!

he seems like the type to be v protective

when he doesn’t want to strangle you, of course, bc your past time is being as annoying as possible whenever you can

you have a cute dynamic: you’re a little brat and he puts up with you while making sure you don’t unknowingly wander into oncoming traffic or otherwise meet an early demise

SOOBIN

i’m getting taylor swift you belong with me vibes but like it could also be v platonic

you guys are just very close and understand each other better than anyone else

he always shows lots of interest in you and what’s going on with you. he likes listening to you talk about stuff that’s going on.

soobin is also v supportive! even if you’re obviously in the wrong, he’s still on your side no matter what lol

you guys also get really touchy sometimes bc that’s soobin’s love language so sometimes people mistake you for a couple

BEOMGYU

you guys definitely have a secret handshake

the two of you are the type to get coffee/food together whenever one of you asks, share lip balm, wear matching ruby rings on your index fingers, and have sleepovers where you binge all of the james bond movies.

gyu is def the type to encourage you to do all kinds of things you prob shouldn’t do, but your lives are never boring so you can’t complain.

he’s also fiercely loyal. just let someone try and say something about you around him and see what happens. he’s punched someone for you before and he’d do it again.

TAEHYUN

tae is like your rock. he’s a very reliable bestie.

he’s also very protective of you. older or younger, no one could ever hurt you on his watch. he would simply riot.

tae is always asking you to “hang out” with him and by that he means work out or go for a run or something lmao ew. and you’re like um no thanks. but he drags you along anyway.

and y’all get real fit and cute together only for you to be like “tae look at all my hard work!!! look at how it’s all paying off!!!”

and he’s like, “i’m sorry your hard work??? you would literally never move if it weren’t for me.” but he also lets you have your moment and takes cute pictures for you bc that’s what besties are for, duh.

HUENINGKAI

you guys almost never text. y’all just call each other and immediately start talking about whatever needs to be said.

“hey—”

“he cheated.”

“so we’re keying his car when ???”

huening’s always got your back 😌

he’s the type to defend you always, even if it was another friend saying something bad about you behind your back. he always takes your side, no matter what.

also you guys have matching bracelets <3

and lots of inside jokes. sometimes even just a glance at each other is enough to set you off and everyone is left going what’s so funny ??? but neither of you can stop laughing long enough to explain yourselves

#txt #tomorrow x together #txt reactions #txt imagines #txt fluff #txt headcanons #txt x reader #txt scenarios #choi yeonjun #choi soobin #choi beomgyu #kang taehyun #hueningkai

[sweetmotherof]

Haikyuu Fics: The Classics™️ (pt 2)

PART 1

I already thought of more, and I didn’t want my first part to be super long, so here is a part 2!! I’ll probably make another couple of parts because I know I missed some. So again, please comment if you have any recommendations for me to add, it’s highly appreciated. Also, just some housekeeping, please mind the tags and go give the authors some love and support!! I hope you guys enjoy!! (My summaries are super bad for this one so just look at the summaries for the work or ask ahah id be happy to elaborate)

*contains nsfw fics, so please read the tags*

⭑=my faves

TSUKKIYAMA

~quick deanpendragon spam (they are the mastermind of tsukkiyama fics read all of their stuff pls)~

campfire in your chest by deanpendragon

M, 74.4k words

This is the classiccccc slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, slowburn through high school fic. With an amazing plot, beautiful writing, and stunning characterization, if you like Tsukkiyama at all, you should literally just read it. It’s just....perfect.

the certain things we lack by deanpendragon⭑

M, 89.6k words

AHHHHHHHH STOP DON’T TALK TO ME IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS. no no no it’s so good like should be published good. It’s Kei-centric, and him and Yamaguchi are so <333 ugh i can’t stop. High school au, canon compliant, getting together yeah yeah yeah but the writing is.....i’m speechless it’s so good. Something about it connected with my soul and the writing, i can’t stop the writing is so good. If you like to read, like you just appreciate the art of literature, read this read this read this. 

blue summer sky by deanpendragon⭑

T, 32k words

Deanpendragon, take all of my money. You deserve it after this one because, oh, oh MY GOD it’s so good. Yamaguchi working in a pet store. Tsukishima working in a music store. Right next to each other. STOP READ IT NOW YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. It’s Yamaguchi’s POV and his like stream of thoughts is SO relatable oh my god. It’s too good. This is hands down one of my fave fics so,,,,, u should read it. Also, it’s a series so, thank you for that one.

~~~~

Stoplights by 5yenwish(iamacamera)

E, 48.6k words

Something about Tsukkiyama authors, I would literally ask the president to get you ppl published because JESUS we do not deserve these works for free. I mean, this is just Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Karasuno being VULGAR and hilarious, and it’s like,,,,you have to have a certain type of humor to enjoy this. If you don’t like sex jokes AVOID this fic, but I loved this SO MUCH. The writing, ughhhhhh the writing is horrifyingly good. I kinda just really want to pay this author money because you made my life smmm better. On Hiatus tho,, probs forever so <//3 STILL READ IT

MATSUHANA

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia⭑

E, 91.5k words, cw: EMOTIONAL ABUSE, mental health issues that come with that

SAD BOY HOURS ughhh. This fic is so angsty and hurt so bad to read,,,,,,but so,,,,goood. Of course it’s depressing, it’s Hanamaki, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi watching Matsukawa be in an emotionally abusive relationship, all the while Hanamaki is in love with him,,,, eyeroll it’s very hard to watch. But, the writing is amazing, the plot is painful but good, so if you’re considering, you definitely should read.

rated m for by orphan_account

T, 10.6k words

Voice acting au. The most beautiful voice acting au ever. I love Matsukawa and I love Hanamaki, and you should definitely read this because it’s so funny. The writing is so good, the plot is so funny, and I love to laugh my ass off and this fic is funny lol. They act in a BL even though they hate each other. PLS READ IT AHAHHAH.

plus one by orphan_account

G, 6.1k words

This is the cutest lil getting together fic that so adorably fluffy it hurts. If you want to come down from, oh let’s say boiled frogs ahahhaha plug (look above lol), this fic will literally rot your insides with how cute it is. It’s quick, easy, and a fun time at a wedding, so if you just want some matsuhana for bedtime or something like that (?? what am i saying lol) then I definitely recomeend this one.

DAISUGA

Open Tab by Mooifyourecows⭑

E, 541.5k words, cw: anxiety, breakdowns (not that bad, but some parts made me feel a bit on edge so I thought I’d let u all know)

The longest fic I’ve read, and worth every second. I BINGED this mf, like in a couple of days lol and it’s so good. Artist Suga, bartender Daichi, gay panic and basically all of the other main haikyuu characters lol,,,,, read it if that sounds interesting. I think this is probably the staple Haikyuu longfic, so you should definitely check it out at one point or another. Also, it’s SO funny and the writing is rlly good. Oh, and it’s a SLOW BURNNN.

bell, book, and candle by skittidyne

M, 762.9k words, cw: blood, swearing, violence, minor body horror, death, anxiety/anxiety attacks/panic attack (part of the author’s warning)

I’ve seen so many people recommend this one, so I thought I’d include it in this recommendation, even though it’s focused around a lot of the ships, not just daisuga. It’s a supernatural hunter fic, and even just the summary is super captivating and interesting. If you like fantasy, mythology, or anything of the demons and magic sort, you should definitely check this one out. There is also some ~~magical~~ romance.

Cardboard Castles by valiantarmor

M, 18k words, cw: homophobia, mental strain that comes with homelessness

For the sake of your guys’ brains, I included this shorter fic that you could definitely complete in a short amount of time. Basically, this is about coffee barista Daichi, and how he meets Suga, who is secretly homeless. And romance blooms, of course. I definitely recommend this one if you want a short, kind of angsty, but happy ending read.

KYOUHABA

Police Dog by surveycorpsjean⭑

E, 34.9k words

This fic is so so sooo good. I usually stray away from like shifter, werewolf type fics, but this one handles the trope so so so well. I love the kyouhaba dynamic and this fic exemplifies it without making it too cliche. The premise of the fic is Kyoutani is a dog shifter and Yahaba is a police officer. I really had a great time reading this and I definitely think that you should check it out ahhah.

Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl

T, 61.1k words, cw: HOMOPHOBIA LIKE BAD (not violent but very internalized and prevalent) 

Yahaba and his self-acceptance journey,,,,ughhhh im crying. This fic is vvvery emotional and filled with angsty self-hatred that makes me :(((. but BUT its worth it because watching him grow :’) and find love in Kyoutani. it’s very warm and happy at the end. If you want a CLASSIC coming of age set in high school and very gay so <33 pls check it out. The plot and writing are really well done and it is a work of art srsly.

#haikyuu #haikyuu fic recs #haikyuu fanfiction #hq #hq fanfic #tsukkiyama #tsukiyama #matsuhana #daisuga #kyouhaba #tsukishima #yamaguchi #matsukawa

[ringmyheart]

Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

#Lookism x reader #Goo x reader #Scott Kwon x reader #Jake Kim x reader #Goo Kim x reader

[butterbeeryuta]

yoonoh as your boyfriend

a/n: alrighHHt so this was requested a loooong time ago, and i just keep forgetting to do this, BUT HERE it is. i’m so so so sorry to the person who requested this, you’ve waited for such a long time. 

okay so let’s talk about how the two of you met shall we

so you worked as a designer for stationeries, and it was your first day at work

and ofc you were late

so there you were, running from the bus stop to the work place

may god bless your laptop

you had no food, you woke up late, you weren’t sure if your clothes were appropriate for work, and you also weren’t sure if you had everything you needed

great start sis

you were 15 minutes late, so you didn’t care about anything else. you HAD to get to your table so you nyOOooonGEd to the elevator, and pressed the button to your floor

‘hey can you wait up please?’ 

but you were late, so you didn’t care

‘sorry, but i’m really late right now. IM SORRY.’

once the elevator door closed, you sighed to yourself, thinking of ways to apologise to whoever you have to say sorry to

so yeah, you got out, got to your assigned desk as you placed all of your stuff

‘Ms./Mr. L/N’

Oh shit

hold on, that voice was familiar wasn’t it

you looked up at the person, and it happened to someHoW be that buy that asked you to wait for him to enter the elevator

And you just happen to notice, he was pretty

REALLY pretty

And tall

And now that you think about it, his voice is pretty too

tf is he working here for 

‘Oh! You! Oh I’m very sorry I didn’t wait for you, listen I was late and I didn’t want the manager to be too mad cause it’s my first day and all, but please don’t tell himー'

‘Well you sort of straight up told me you were late so I guess I can’t do much about this I already know, but hey I’m not made. But I must say, you should’ve waited for a bit, you were already late anyway, right Ms./Mr. L/N?’ 

Oh my god

Oh my fucking god

DID YOU JUST CALL YOUR BOSS ‘Oh! You!’

SKJSJKDJNDOWENOIN

you wanted to die, you wanted the world to swallow you alive, THIS IS NOT OKAY ON YOUR FIRST DAY

‘I-I... Okay, please don’t fire me’

....

.....

............

you know jaehyun’s deep and loud laugh?

yeah he did that

and you were confused af

‘God no I won’t fire you, it’s not everyday I get entertained this much by me employee. Anyway, I came here to introduce you to the rest of the team, and I’ll be giving you your first project. So here’s your iPad in which you’ll be designing things on, and this is your ID card for identification purposes, as well as discounts for food and stationery in...’

whichever god(ess) was on your side that day, you thanked him or her internally for saving your ass

5 MONTHS LATER 

so you had a sales-pitch meeting with the board, including your boss, jung yoonoh, but he also likes to be called jaehyun

and if it wasn’t clear with your character, you were a mess

you were very nervous since you were initiating your idea of including more planners/diaries that with time slots and designs that included things from different subject areas like chemistry, biology, business management, psychology, and more. you just wanted something students can use effectively for their study routines, especially if it relates to their area of study.

so yes, a lot of people and you talking? yeah only wizards can do that in ur opinion

but despite your nervousness, you still managed to somewhat explain your ideas with a few slips here and there until you made eye contact with your boss

he was smiling at you

his eyes were paying a lot of attention to you

and for some reason, you felt really calm and you continued to give your presentation in a somewhat smooth manner

once you said your thank yous, thankfully, they clapped for you whereas jaehyun continued to clap  with that award-winning smile

you felt weird, but it was a good type of weird. weird in a sense that your tummy felt a lot of tingles

and you were judging yourself for it. you weren’t sure why you were feeling like this considering that you’ve seen your boss smile on so many different occasions 

once people began to leave the room, you started packing up your stuff, you know, the cleaning part

but ofc, jaehyun didn’t leave at all

‘good job today, you did really well’

and the weird feeling just HAD to return

all you could do was smile and softly laugh, unsure of how to exactly respond to compliments, and I honestly do NoT blame you for that

‘it’s not much really, but thank you Mr. Jungー'

‘call me jaehyun, or yoonoh if you’d like’

what?

wHat?

NaNi????

‘hm?’

you mentally slapped yourself for saying that out loud to him, he’s your fucking boss get you shit together you awkward mess

‘my name? you can call me that you know?’ he says, unsure himself if he was asking a question about his own identity or not

so you just shook your head a little, trying to tell your tall and gorgeous boss that he didn’t have to do that

‘no no no, it’s fine. you’re my boss, I should be calling you Mr. Jung’ because that is what employees have to do

he sighed, slowly making his way over you

and because you just had to be you, you sort of, panic? thinking that you’ll get fired for displeasing him. basically back to day 1 of the two of you meeting.

will you get fired? will he place you in another department with another team manager? will be stop you from your project? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

chill no he just gonna confess he likes you 

he made his way, lowering himself down to your height until your eyes met

‘okay, but what if i ask you out for dinner or something, will you then call me by my first name?’

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAH

did he? does her srsly think you’re that great of a person to be dated?

‘uhhh what? i’m sorry but, you can’t be serious right?’ he HAS to be joking

though a part of you wishes he really does like you because mcfuck you like him and you found out today when your tummy did shit from juSt a smile

he instead laughs at you, and pulls you in for a soft and sweet kiss

well i guess he likes you sjdksdjksdjksjd

the moment the two of you pulled away, he couldn’t help but laugh at your flushed state

you were REd. your boss, your tall gorgeous kind boss just kissed and said he likes you. you are living the actual y/n dream. 

‘okay wow so you weren’t joking’

*face palm*, you’re a legit mess sweetie

but ig that’s what jaehyun likes about you. you say things on your mind, and you’re intelligent and determined to do your best. 

after that day, jaehyun and you got together, and let me just say, he’s the best boyfriend ever, but he can be such an ass from time to time

whenever you come in for work there’s a cup of hot coffee there for you along with a sticky note on it, and it’s cute

then the sticky note says ‘you’re late again’

now he’s an ass

then dinner dates! my god, he likes fancy ass places so much, and you feel bad cause he never lets you pay??? idk ya’ll be going to some hyatt hotel level restaurants and he casually pays for your dinner like that????

and whenever you try to say smth against it, he goes like ‘no no you can pay me back with a kiss, it’s alright’

and i swear he deliberately does it cause you blush madly and stutter, he likes it so much cause he finds you so adorable

ig that hardest thing jaehyun has to deal with is that since he’s your boss, he sometimes has to turn your ideas down and makes you redo things despite how hard you worked

and you do get hurt when he does, and though you know he’s saying that because it’s his job, you sometimes don’t talk to him for a bit cause again, it’s hurtful

and jaehyun does feel bad, but he also knows that it’s job to do so

but, you eventually come to your senses and apologise to him for your behaviour, whereas he holds you against his chest and kisses your temple, telling you it’s alright and that he’ll try to guide you better

have i talked about cuddling?

A BIG ASS TEDDY BEAR

he isn’t really a fan of pda, but once the two of you are together, he loves attacking you with cuddles and soft kisses

and though sometimes you do want your personal space, his presence is just warm and comfy. you have to like him. 

‘you know i’m so lucky to have you’ he whispers against your ear

‘i know, and i’m glad you’re mine too’

#jaehyun #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #yoonoh #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #boyfriend jaehyun #boyfriend yoonoh #mark #yuta #johnny #haechan #donghyuck smut #jungwoo #taeil #doyoung #nct imagine #headcanon #jaehyun x reader #fluff #soft jaehyun #butterbeeryuta

[outragedslime]

I'm not that anon and neither am I against meat Roxy but some people don't seem to like that iteration bc of the widely accepted reading of Roxy as a transfeminine character. Idk how much of it is canon-supported and how much is just hcs tho

I mean if ppl liked transfem roxy then go ahead but. I like transmasc roxy and making me tag my own art in a way that lets people blacklist my art out from my blog makes me Super uncomfy. Like?? If u dont like it just unfollow me or if u dont wanna see my art in the roxy tag u can block me its not that deep... idk how to phrase this well but ive so many thoughts abt this. Again ill say i woke up almost 22 hrs ago so im v sleepy so i might phrase things wrong but here we go (also sorry for rambling here but i rly wanna get this out bc its been bothering me for ages and im!! Upset! This big rant isnt specific @ u this is like in general i wanted to type it in a post anyway but i was scared but fuck it ykno.) Id do a read more but im on mobile ill edit it later

Like we all agree that its bad to erase canon gay charas right? So like...why is it g to erase canon trans characters. Like yeah it was a popular headcanon but like......?? Headcanons get deconfirmed sometimes it happens??? It makes me feel like having a woman hc for roxy is more important than having a transmasc canon, which is. A constant self doubt of mine like i worry people will see me as lesser bc im trans and ive also seen it happen! So thats not very nice! To see the fandom treat a canon trans character as "lesser" bc theyre not trans in the way they want!

Also roxy is literally the only positive transmasc character ive ever seen in any piece of media. Ever. So that adds to it. The amnt of ppl who i seen say shit like "give her back u dont deserve her" like? That shit hurts!! Im sorry but it does! Constantly being told that a character being revealed as transmasc is "not worth it" is one of the things that makes me wanna leave the hs fandom bc holy shit!! Thats so transphobic!

Roxy is also rly rly important to me bc ive never seen a canon nb character who uses he/him either and like! I never saw rep lile that! If ur srsly mad abt transmasc roxy and want to be able to filter him out bc u prefer a different hc pls take a step back and look at urself and see how that can be transphobic. Like u can recognise that a character was important to u and like... be mature enough that u dont make ppl feel like shit when they now vibe w that same character? I used to hc transmasc vriska and i drew a few super self indulgent drawings that i didnt post publically and it was a Super important hc to me but i wouldnt draw that again now that vriskas confirmed transfem bc im not an asshole? If u see a trans character and ur first thought is "theyre not trans in the Better way though so i hate this and will make it clear to the people who like this that i hate this" thats transphobic.

Do u have to like transmasc roxy? Fuck no! U dont have to do anything. But srsly @ that anon earlier: like if thats ur reasoning, why would you go to me when i clearly take a lot of comfort in this character (i even Said seratonin time like. I draw roxy and i get an instant boost of euphoria) and imply that u do not want to see it. Like if u do not want to see it u can just unfollow or block me. Instead u make me feel like shit if im being honest! Ik that wasnt the intention so i dont blame u ily n im sorry if im bein angry this has just been building up for a long time. Like "tag this Canon trans character u relate to and love so i dont have to see him" that..doesnt feel good. Pls be mindful of that h,,

Like if u hc roxy as transfem im not gonna stop you like you do you, im not saying this to bash at transfem hcs. But i literally mean it in the nicest way possible, u dont have to interact w my stuff if u dont like it or if it makes u feel bad. Instead of coming to me and making Me feel bad. U can just unfollow and thered be no hard feelings. I draw stuff to make me happy, and if that stuff doesnt make u happy u dont have to stay, but i dont want to post art of the only positive canon transmasc character i know that makes me feel euphoric and tag it deliberately knowing theres people out there who will actively blacklist that specific drawing. Im not saying its bad to blacklist it, u can blacklist it, but im personally rly uncomfortable w that happening w my art of this specific character so if u dont want to see it u can just. Unfollow. Like 100% no hard feelings im not trying to be cheeky i just think itd be most comfortable for everyone involved bc i dont wanna sacrifice my own comfort and euphoria for other ppl.

Sorry for writing so much and ty if u read this ✌

#sorry for big ol rant im just. LE TIRED. #UGUUGGHFHHHHGHH #long post #discourse #maybe

[choking-on-tae]

Stray Kids Reaction To: Making out with their S.O

Anon asked: “Can you do what making out with stray kids would be like? Thank you ily bby 💙❤️ your writing is amazing btw”

Author’s note: THANK YOU SO MUCH! IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT SMUTTY FOR THE MAKNAES AKA JEONGIN AND SEUNGMIN! THEY’RE MY PRECIOUS LITTLE BABIES AND I LOVE THEM SO FOR THEM FLUFF ONLY! This is mainly gonna en fluff anyways but Chris has been wrecking me lately so I can’t promise it won’t be a little bit dirty. Anyways as usual gifs aren’t mine and cr. to the original owners! I hope you’ll enjoy! ❤️

Edit: I removed Woojin’s one for obvious reasons. 

Chan:

(He looks so cute here I just wanna hug him) 

I have such a soft spot for this guy. Istg I love him so much it’s insane. Anyways, Chris is very affectionate. I mean look at how many times he hugs his members. He wouldn’t act any different around you. In fact he’d probably be even more affectionate towards you, since he’s in love with you after all. So making out could go two ways really. I think it mostly would be cute and sweet. Chris taking the lead and kissing you softly which ultimately leads to more, or, if he hadn’t seen you in a long time it’d obviously be more needy.

Lee Know:

(He’s so handsome srsly)

Our lovely Minho. He’s quite affectionate actually and would therefore like making out with you. Sometimes it’d be cute and soft, but other times it would be more heated. Probably when he has had a rough day or hadn’t seen you in a while. I think that overall Minho would be a sweetheart and yes he might be needy from time to time, but the making out sessions would still be sweet and gentle.

Changbin:

Now onto the guy who started off wanting to show us how cool and tough he is, but now as time went on he’s showing us his much softer side. Not gonna lie I think Changbin is absolutely adorable and seriously too sweet. He wouldn’t act any different around you. He’d be quite clingy just as with his members and you’d have to compete with Felix for his attention, but when you two were alone soft kisses often turned into more intense and longer kisses.

Hyunjin:

Now onto everyone’s bias wrecker, Hyunjin. Now this guy is a tease. He literally had the most kissable lips ever so kissing him would be something you’d do pretty much every chance you got. After a while Hyunjin noticed that you were always staring at his lips, so he’d definitely use that against you. He can easily switch between being a tease and being a complete softy. So your making out sessions would differ depending on his mouth. If he was feeling cute your making out session would be really soft. Hyunjin would softly brush his thump against your cheek as his lips brushed against yours. If he was needy it’d obviously be more heated but definitely sweet nonetheless.

Han:

Our lovely squirrel, who’s an absolute soft bean. This cutie would be so nervous for your first kiss, but after a while he grew more confident and the kisses started to get longer and deeper. Even if he was quite needy his kisses would still be very soft. Almost as if he was afraid to hurt you or to pressure you into it. So you’d often have to assure him by gently running your fingers through his hair as you pulled him closer. Jisung smiled softly against your lips as he pulled you closer, pulling back just a second to brush his nose against yours before going back to press his lips against yours.

Felix:

Felix the wonderful cat! (I’m sorry I had to it’s been stuck in my head for a week now). This cutie loves affection a lot so he’d be quite clingy and either pressing kisses against your cheeks or your foreheads. Mainly because you kept doing the same to him. Showing affection was something that the two of you did often and sometimes those kisses grew longer and more intense. Even if they got more intense Felix didn’t want to rush into things and always kept it quite soft.

Seungmin:

Our lovely vocalist Seungmin. This guy really has a special place in my heart. He just is one of those people that you wanna protect at all cost and smother with love and affection. Seungmin is a cutie and there for his kisses wouldn’t be any different. He’d be quite nervous to kiss you and to make the kiss last longer, so you’d probably have to be the one to initiate things. After a while he got used to it and started to kiss you more frequently. You always giggled when he pulled back, simply because he was just too cute.

I.N:

MY ANGELIC PRECIOUS BABY JEONGIN WHO’S TOO CUTE FOR THIS WORLD. Honestly I just wanna hug him tightly all day and squeeze his specious cheeks. Press kisses against his forehead too cuz he’s just so lovely. Anyways onto this reaction. Jeongin can go either way, sometimes when he feels cute he loves the affection and cuddles. When he feels tough and wants people to stop babying him he might give you shorter kisses instead of longer ones. However, at the end of the day he loves you and wants to be loved so he always appreciates it when you lean in to kiss him. He’s the type to still get shy after you’ve kissed him like 2000 times and don’t forget the way he smiles after you kiss him. Heart melting.

#stray kids #stray babies #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #bang chan #chris #woojin #minho #lee know #changbin #felix #jisung #han #seungmin #hyunjin #jeongin #i.n #stray kiddos #stay #kpop fluff #fluff #drabble #kpop drabble #stray kids drabble

[fair-fae]

this is nervewracking to ask, but i'm going to do it anyway. what did cyril do that was abusive? i can't see it, and honestly that just makes me scared that i do some of the same things and don't recognize it.

Hey, anon! This is a perfectly fine question and there’s nothing wrong with asking it (the issues lies in people who don’t see the abuse and then decided obviously that means it’s just not happening… and then go the extra mile of harassing the victim and their supporters). Thank you for asking! I’ll try to explain as best as I can, but the best advice I can give is to Google signs of emotional abuse and you can find a lot of lists of certain behaviors. Most are framed in terms of romantic relationships, but they can happen with friends, family, RP partners–anyone, in real life and online alike.Cut for length and general sensitive content dealing with emotional abuse and the dreaded “drama”

Here are some common ones that imo appeared in the logs:Isolation

Abusers often try to isolate victims from their friends/family and any other relations they might have. A sad and lonely victim makes for an easier target, as does one with no support network to help them escape their abuser. It also means less people around to find out about the abuser’s true nature. In the logs we see him try to cast doubt on her friends, telling her that her friends were bothering him and calling him “her keeper” or coming to him about her private conversations with them that they were displeased about (yet refusing to say who, to leave her questioning everyone), not mentioning her friends and tumblr followers were worried about her and trying to reach her until after the fact, etc.Walking on EggshellsA lot of people in abusive relationships describe it as feeling like “walking on eggshells.” They try to avoid doing things that might set off their abuser… but their abuser has to keep them from being content and confident to keep them in control, so they’ll find smaller and more irrational things to get upset at them about. Replying “if you want” to being asked about taking screenshots becomes a point of contention. “When are you going to stop being sad?” becomes an angry question. She’s blamed for deleting her own blog even though he knew she did it for her health/happiness. She’s blamed for the smallest inconvenience of people asking him if she’s okay even though she has no control over them choosing to reach out to him and for the most part didn’t even have any knowledge of it. Rather than answer them or ask them to stop contacting him, he ignores them, then blames her for him continuing to receive questions from them and the perception he believes that people think he had a falling out with her.

Gaslighting

This is what I saw the most of them in the logs and the most alarming thing. Gaslighting is turning everything around on the victim and making them doubt their own memory/sanity/intelligence/credibility. No, that didn’t really happen, you’re lying. No, what I did to you wasn’t that bad, it was normal, you’re just dramatic. No, I didn’t really say that, you’re misremembering. It’s a lot of lies, justifications, twisting words and scenarios, and taking things out of context.You can see how everything is spun as her fault and actually hurting him. Her deleting her blog is her fault. Him receiving messages about it is her fault. Her not doing anything about the messages is her fault, even though he just now told her it was bothering him, even though he just now told her he was still even receiving them past the first couple ones. Her being unhappy is her fault and a bother for him. Her not being enthused enough to do things with him is her fault, why doesn’t she appreciate that he so generously offered to hang out just to make her feel better? Obviously it’s all because she just hates him. He’s not treating her like an inconvenience, that’s just her mental illness telling her that. She tries to talk to him about her feelings and the way he’s treating her, and rather than acknowledging it, he turns it around–rather illogically and irrationally–about how he is actually the one being mistreated and inconvenienced.Passive Aggression 

A classic way to make people feel like shit but then pretend you did nothing and act like it’s all in their head. Look at the language he uses. Calling her “childish and rash” for “expecting” him to answer messages about her even though she never said she expected that. “It’s better than nothing” when she tries to do something to address the people messaging him as soon as she finds out it’s bothering him. “I don’t think you handled something well -  whatever -  people handle things in different ways” in regards to her deleting her blog for her own happiness. “I would have hoped we could resolve the problem if we’d talked it over” as if he wasn’t the obstacle in that.Those are just a few examples from the first album (the others get into less passive aggression, and more… downright aggression but still have plenty of examples, “delete them - so you don’t just repost them later without my knowledge again.”).ControllingnessThe staple of abuse is an attempt to control the victim. Look how weirdly hung up he is on her deleting her own blog and not doing it in a way he approved of (I almost wonder if he’s upset because he lost the status points of having a “tumblr famous” ship partner?). Look at how, even after they stopped being friends, he wants to keep her character on his ship page after she’d asked him to remove it and he admits to intentionally doing it to make her talk to him and give him leverage over her. Look at how he won’t let her go talk to her own friends in private for advice regarding him and shames her for it being an invasion of “privacy,” as if the logs showed some personal/RL info and not just him being unreasonable. Look at how concerned he is with people on tumblr not assuming the two of them are on bad terms. Look at how, even after they stop being friends, he browses her blogs for posts he believes are about him and tries to tell her what she can and can’t say on her own blogs.It’s evident in his branding post, as well. If people cut ties with him on terms he doesn’t like, they can’t RP having a brand–because he said so. Even if they change the story of how they received it and what character gave it to them. Even if they had that idea before they met him and asked him to RP it with them. Even if they change the look of the brand so it’s no longer his design. This isn’t even a unique idea or something he came up with on his own. Branding slaves has been a RL practice. It’s been made into a trope with… pretty much every fictional slave storyline.And while I’m generally of the opinion of the opinion that IC =/= OOC, IC does not exist within a void unaffected by OOC and vice versa. It’s just speculation since there’s nothing wrong with RPing the type of character he does, but there could very well be a reason he’s drawn to an antagonist/rapist/slaver/abuser/sadist/kidnapper type character.Lack of Care for BoundariesShe says she doesn’t want to be friends anymore, she blocks him, she asks him to delete her number, so what does he do? He not only keeps her number, but texts her because he hopes she hasn’t blocked him there, too. Not even to make an apology, just to say “I would have hoped we could resolve the problem if we’d talked it over” as if he hadn’t been an obstacle in that and “if you change your mind, I’ll be here” to put the onus of fixing the problem on her. When that doesn’t seem to get a response? He keeps their ship on his page despite her asking him to delete it and says, “I used it to make a point, since I knew that you wouldn’t continue the conversation unless I had something to get your attention.” He knows she doesn’t want to talk to him, so rather than honoring it or even finding a respectable way to approach her and make amends… he’s does something against her wishes that he know will upset her so she’ll feel compelled to reluctantly reach out to him. And when he gets that platform he wanted, does he use it to apologize? Nooope! He uses it as leverage to make her delete her screenshots of their conversation.Ultimatums How do you make someone do something they want to do? Give them an alternative that’s even worse. You want your name removed from my ship list so people don’t think you’re associated with me after you’ve realized I’m not someone you want to be around? You have to message me, delete your logs of our conversation, and not say anything about me. You don’t want me to embarrass you by posting logs of your confession to me and me rejecting you? You shouldn’t do things I don’t like, then… oh, but I’d never actually do that, don’t worry, silly! :) :) :)General Narcissism There are numerous times he demands he should be more appreciated. I did all these things to try to cheer up you, be grateful no matter how I’m treating you now. I’ve been so nice to you, how dare you say you feel like I don’t care even when I’m disregarding your feelings. Heck, look at the posts about his rules regarding his branding. He acts like it’s a revolutionary idea he came up with all his own and anyone he’s RPing with is being graced with this groundbreaking idea and if they keep some element of it in their RP after cutting ties with him they’re just “piggy-backing off" his time, effort, and energy to make up for their “lack of creativity” like srsly dude??Even though he refuses to apologize or acknowledge any wrongdoing, he really wants her to forgive and her to make things up to him, to still be his friend, to still have a positive opinion of him so he won’t lose that control. He can’t just let things die. Look at how many times he brings up being “villified” to her friends, the community, etc. He is desperate to have the world see him in a good light, which goes back to the other things mentioned. Control over the perceptions people have of him. The power of popularity and being liked to better isolate victims. Respect from the community to lend credibility that he’s trustworthy and definitely not gaslighting.

And not directed at you, anon, but in general.. for all the people trying to spin at as someone mad they got rejected who was actually terrorizing him… really? The only person who brought up her feelings in the logs was him doing it to spite her. idk I’ve dealt with a lot of admirers not taking rejection well and lemme tell you, I don’t invite them to hang out IRL (I try to avoid seeing them IRL, actually), I don’t ask them to hang out with me in game, I don’t go to lengths to contact them when they’ve blocked them, I don’t ship with them and try to parade it on my blog even after the ship has been retconned, I don’t desperately try to stay in contact with them and convince them to see me in a positive light, I don’t manipulate them into messaging me when I know they don’t want to talk, I don’t try to control their lives and their blogs, and I definitely don’t threaten them with ultimatums. Honestly, nobody deserves that in any context, even if they were a terrible person themselves.

#discourse #long post #longpost

[kurtty-drabbles]

Circus au

N/A: much ado for nothing lol. Srsly, this is based on all the talks djinmer4 and I have about EW Kurt and a circus au, also, is based on a movie called Hi Lili Hello.

@djinmer4

In the good city of Shaperfield, a young girl is strolling with 3 suitcases in her arms and a basket that is closed to any prying eyes. The girl´s name is Kitty Pryde and she´s searching for Doctor Lee.

Sadly, in the city the circus of a famous wizard, a German fellow that Kitty didn´t have the time to catch his name, as her search is more important, however, the ringleader ended up finding Kitty in the Doctor´s shop.

"Where´s Doctor Lee?" Kitty asked as the ringleader is the one looking at the shop with some respect. The shop looks unkept and abandoned. The ringleader looks at the girl confused. His handsome blue face shows some confusion until he asks. "You´re Kitty Pryde?"

Kitty narrow her eyes and give a step back. Always be mindful of man that knows your name. This didn´t stop him. "I´d take that as yes, well, Miss Pryde, Doctor Lee passed away" his tone is soft and show respect "the man often help me with my crew members"

Kitty let her suitcases drop, but, not the basket. "He is dead?"

"Yes, it was a long battle against his disease" Kurt explained and adds gently, "he told me about you, he wanted to meet you, but...at the same time, the man was tired...far too tired."

Kitty takes a deep breath and lets the situation fall on her shoulders. The ringleader takes Kitty to where the man is buried and Kitty is not crying. She can´t cry.

The circus will be staying for 3 weeks, and as Kitty realize, people in this city has no problem in talking with each member or going to the circus, yet, no one offers any place to Kitty.

"If you don´t have anywhere to go, Miss Pryde, you can stay with my circus, until you find a better place" Kurt suggested noticing how Kitty is holding the basket as is something precious. Yet, the smell tells otherwise.

Kitty ponders her choices. She can´t go back now. "I was expelled from Zanany, Academy Of Sorcery" Kitty adds in a more sombre tone. Kurt is not judging. "I want a blood oath from you that you won´t hurt me in any way or let any of your zombies hurt me"

Kurt smiles pleased. "You noticed the zombies? Now, I´m impressed" Kurt then take a dagger and cut his finger drawing blood "I swear you´ll not be hurt in any way in my circus, I swear by my magic"

Kitty looks at the man and adds"well, in that case, nice to meet you, Mr Ringleader, my name is Kitty Pryde" she shakes his hand and Kurt chuckles.

No one will mourn the death of a Doctor who works for the Necromancer.

___________________________________________________________________________________

She can understand why people, the living crewmembers, fear the master, Kurt can cut a dashing and heroic figure if want, but can be so demonic as a nightmare could manifest. Still, the man is more than fair with Kitty and does not make questions. In fact, Kurt often takes Kitty with him in his missions, as the young woman should, in his words, see more of the world.

It was very nice of him and Kitty can feel her cheeks redden each time Kurt gentle takes her hand and explain a spell of his, well, the most innocent ones.

“Ok, Katzchen, tell me something, why you were kicked out from that fancy magical school?” Kurt once asked amused as Kitty gives a small sip on beer, she has 17 years old and legally, at least in that city, she can drink beer, but, judging by her reaction…this will be the last time.

“Well, what you said when someone tries to ask about your life?” Kitty asked putting a finger on her lips “Oh, right, you can´t afford to my secrets”

Kurt chuckles amused and mention, in a good manner, how he became a necromancer when he had her age.

“Oh, that was ages ago, because you know, you´re older as dirt, Ouch” Kitty complains as his tail gently touches her arm by surprise jolting Kitty a little, she always forgets the tail.

“Manners, Madchen”

Kitty is in her caravan, is a late night, and the circus is eerie and silent as always. No need to worry for food, at least not for the livings and Kitty decides she can try her secret ability now. She put the basket now (always careful keep with potions and spells) and put inside a circle she crafted.

“I´ll bring you back, sweetie, I´ll bring you back” Kitty promised and uttering the magic words and making the signals the basket starts to emit a sound. A soft barking that starts growing and growing until, Kitty´s eyes spy with glee, a Yorkshire Terrier emerges and is in his full health.

The little dog goes to Kitty and starts to lick her face. “I did it, I did it” she is euphoric and for a moment, contemplate to write to her old school saying how they´re a bunch of wusses, but, as she´s here…Kitty can´t do that.

On the next day, it was Kurt who greets Kitty with an enigmatic smiling telling they will be moving to a different city.

“Who is the dog?” Kurt asked amused and notices the basket, once so carefully placed, is tossed around like it meant nothing. Kitty gulps and tries to explain.

“A wild dog shows up last night and we bond” Kitty speaks thinking this is a good excuse.

“A wild dog? This is a Yorkshire Terrier, not a wild dog, but, a pet…that can fit in the basket” Kurt lingers for a moment then shrugs “Oh, what do I know? Come on, Katzchen, we´ve things to do together”

That line has so many double meanings to Kurt and Kitty.

Saying Kurt is a manslut is little to convey how slutty he can be, Kitty with 18 years old, really dislike her infatuation on the manslut. Her confidant is an old man who will retire soon, the man does not understand what Kitty could possibly see in him, but, the man won´t judge.

“What you´ll do, miss Pryde?” the man asked kindly as if she´s her granddaughter and is a nice feeling for both of them.

“Move on, I guess, Is clear as day I´m not his type, the man prefers…well, Amandas” Kitty speaks and for once in his life, the old man will defend Kurt, at least in this aspect. “Well actually, he hates Amanda and often complains about the ‘’relationship’’ saying it was a big mistake and look, he´s not the one to admit making mistakes”

“But, she´s pretty, doesn´t he likes pretty things to look at?” Kitty asked confused.

“Yes, but Amanda was too rotten inside and he regrets even knowing her name, actually, even Amanda dislike herself as Amanda is not her real name …is Jimaine” the old man explained.

“I saw her in one of our missions together, I thought Kurt would be happy with the attention, she´s pretty, but horrible…she´s smells bad” Kitty adds remembering the meeting.

“Again, existing things even him won´t fuck and that says a lot. Whatever Amanda did…she´s luck she´s still alive, but, maybe, after this meeting, she won´t be…the ringleader is many things, but, forgiving is not one of them”

“What she did?”

“No idea, but, is enough for him to be mad…and trust me, you won´t like to see him mad”

Kitty will not know as Kurt is feeding his zombies with the fresh meat of a blonde woman. Once finished, the ringleader spot Kitty and the old man talking freely and is not pleased by that.

Doreen is a girl with many squirrels and many adventures, however, when one of her squirrels dies, her status, an adventurer does not mean anything for the necromancer. If you can´t pay him, no squirrels.

Doreen is left to cry and mourn the death of her beloved pet, when; Kitty taking pity on the young woman offers a solution. “Look, I think I can bring your pet back”

“Really?” Doreen shows the small sack of golden coins, for Kurt that is ridiculously small, to Kitty that is big. “I´ll pay if you bring Tiffany”

“Ok, but, please, make this a secret, ok?” Kitty ordered and Doreen agrees and when she get her pet back, it didn't need Doreen´s word for more and more people to go for Kitty to get their beloved pets back.

“Guys, stop, this is supposed to be a secret” Kitty hissed and before anyone could ask why, the necromancer shows up, in Kitty´s mind, far too akin to a vampire, but no one will say that.

“Sorry, guys, Katzchen can´t bring your cats today, come back tomorrow” Kurt instructed politely, it wasn´t a suggestion and they can take a hint. Kitty looks down and ponders her choices.

“Katzchen, I know you´re a necromancer, I knew since I saw you for the first time” Kurt explained amused and Kitty takes a step back.

“I read what happened to Melisandre and well, I´d not wish to have the same fate” Kitty replied hotly and Kurt blinks, the name didn´t ring any bells until it finally pops into his mind.

“Oh, that woman, yes, it was a nasty thing indeed, but, Katzchen, I´d not did that because she was a necromancer…I´d that because she was opposing me, in fact, I did train other necromancers before, Katzchen” then he looks at the 18 years old with surprise. “Do you…fear me?”

“No, yes, sometimes…you can be really scary when you´re mad,” she confessed and Kurt takes her words into consideration.

“But you, of all people, shouldn´t be afraid of me, neither hide your skills, it was that the reason that fancy school expelled you?” Kitty nods “Katzchen, you´re safe here with me, I want to prove that” Kurt adds softly taking her hands, once Kitty let him do it.

“Well, the Melisandre’s story did make me fear for my life. But, the lack of communication can be as toxic as stories, so, Kurt, let´s talk freely from now on, ok?”

“Seems a good idea, Katzchen,” he smiles and Kitty still blushes. “I would like to train you, if you want to, and before you ask, no the payment here is yours. You bring dogs, cats, squirrels and birds back to life. Is your reward”

“I would like to learn more, if you can teach me” then she asks for another blood oath, Kurt is amused. “You have a thing for seeing me bleed? Alright, what you want me to promise this time?”

“Promise you´ll be honest and help me, and I´ll promise the same, elf” Kitty adds. “I want to trust you truly, but, I´m sorry, I´m not a person that naively follow someone and you´re the same. So, let´s improve your communication skills”

“You´re adorable” Kurt kissed her forehead a tab bit different than usual and Kitty´s face grew hotter.

On their last mission, Kurt and Kitty defeat a monster it was attacking the village, of course, said village did pay them (Kitty wonder if Kurt was the pied piper) and an extra bonus, the people let Kurt and Kitty rest in their best hotel, as defeating the monster is easy for them, but, it consumes time and energy and Kitty can use a nice sleep.

Kitty is yawing gentle let her head touch his back. The man smiles at this and when the receptionist asks what type of room he would like, Kurt only said one. One room is enough.

Kitty has 21 years old and is lovely as the angels illustrated in the arts, and Kurt, can agree with the statement.

“One room?” Kitty asked being carried by Kurt.

“Yep”

“You´re predictable” and she cuddles with him.

Logan Howlett knows how much the Necromancer has a skew sense of consent and age of consent. So, when Kurt arrives saying he meet the sweetest thing on earth, Logan merely asked her age. Kitty has 15 years old at that moment.

“Kurt!” logan berates him. Kurt just waves him off. “Oh, relax Logan, I can wait, I´m not a monster” “Debatable, Kurt, very debatable”

“Who did sleep with Magneto´s fiancé ?” Kurt asked and now Logan is silent. Maybe that´s why they are such good friends after all.

#circus au #kurt wagner #evil wizard kurt #kitty pryde #based on an old movie #based on conversations #necromancy #kurtty #he´s evil for a reason #but no he didn´t kill the doctor nor caused the illlness

[tayegi]

Ahhhh I love how u ended chapter 11 of NR!!! I am SO here for OC calling jk out on his bullshit 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Anonymous said:Lu, I think this was my favourite chapter of new rules so far. This one really hit home for me – a similar thing happened to me before with a guy, said he liked me, but treated me like a walking vagina and then he turned round and got a girlfriend like I meant nothing. And this chapter really brought it back for me, you wrote it so well and the emotions feel very raw. I also love the friendship portrayal of Yerin and Mijoo, it's nice to see that chicks before dicks mentality in a fic for once :)

thotitup said:the new chapter of NR is amazing!!! I usually finish chapters needing a new one for closure/satisfaction but this one could be the ending and i would be just fine!! girl said what she had to say and went into the storm (metaphor for heartbreak and epiphany journey?) by herself like a BOSS ASS BITCH. Jk is cancelled until he grows up, nice work xxx

Anonymous said:Jeon jungkook really is a fucking coward. I was crying with oc the whole time. What I really respect about her though is her bravery to tackle on her problems headon. She's afraid but that didn't stop her from confessing her feelings and calling jungkook out, laying her feelings out there in a room full of frat boys. I would neverbe able to do that. She shows her strengths even in her weakest moments. She's definitely one of my fav oc in existence. Thank you for writing this!!

Anonymous said:being a lesbian really do be the best thing to ever happen to me bc men AINT IT ! love ur fic x amazing as always :)))uwu

Anonymous said:The OC spitting the truth in JK's face?? "You're not the relationship type ? "..." You love that shit." & the "It'd be easier to get over you"? I could've cried it was amazing I love her so much. And JK too but she is right. She doesn't have to endure all of his insecurities & unsolved issues. Sure he very probably have his reasons. But if he doesn't try to work on them with her, she doesn't have to suffer from it. She grew up a lot during the series. Thanks to him for a part. It's his turn now.

Anonymous said:A thing that I really wanted to tell you is how the O/C of New Rules pushed me to be more vocal and supportive to other women. I honestly think that she is a person to look up to. Although she has flaws (as other humans), I consider her a role model for what she does for other women. Thank you so much for this story. ⭐️

Anonymous said:BITCH IM SCREAMING U UPDATED NEW RULES !!!!! Ok I just finished reading and like..... damn..... ur mind.... the way you've fleshed out ur characters is so incredible you've spent so much time carving these characters like they're 3d yo also y/n is such a bad bitch !! She needs to listen to that vibe "I'm a bad bitch! U cant kill me!" This ask is all over the place but just know uh I love this story the characters the writing the dialogue & u obviously. Thank u for sharing ur talent w us kween 💖

Anonymous said:This chapter squeezed my heart so bad but I am SO happy that OC stood up for herself in the end I literally LOVED her speech especially about the toxic masculinity, im proud that she was able to speak out what she was feeling and hopefully it got through to jk who obviously has some emotional barrier or something, this whole chapter is so relevant to hookup culture and young relationships and ppl often don’t confront others with their feelings so this was rlly refreshing

Anonymous said:I LOVE NR!!! I just love the new chapter. Expecially the last part where the OC finally call jungkook out! You really are amazing Lu

Anonymous said:I love how multidimensional all of the characters in NR are holy shit. I could probably go in depth on a bunch of examples, but I think the OC stood out to me the most in this chapter. I've read fics about strong women before which is awesome but sometimes they're just like... unrealistically strong where they can immediately brush off their feelings. I'm SO HAPPY you write the OC where she's obviously affected by the rejection but realizes that she has to be there for Yerin and wow I love her

Anonymous said:when the oc barged into the frat house I was so proud of her like yes queen! tell them how disgusting toxic masculinity is! go go go ❤️ thank you so much for updating lu 💛

Anonymous said:i thought that the oc was brave because she confessed her feeling and we all know how much courage you have to muster to let yourself be so vulnerable BUT when she called out jungkook???? in front of those frat fuckbois????? that was so fucking bad ass, i really love her with all my heart because it doesn’t matter how much she’s hurting, she’s always showing a confident & strong facade

lovemusicn1d said:Luuuu, I love the fact that the main character is subjected to the idea of "grow up and get your shit together" for having what I personally think is a normal reaction to being treated the way she was by Jungkook, whereas at the end she grabs the situation at hand and flings it back into the depths of hell where it belongs because fuck the idea that emotions are weak and THANK YOU for having her confront that issue and making it so she doesn't let herself be shamed for what she feels altogether.

Anonymous said:hi! thank you for updating us with such an empowering & strong chapter of new rules!!! i immediately told all my friends that u updated and was always amazed by ur characterization of the oc!!! she is such a boss i love ur work it really inspired me a lot thank you

Anonymous said:thanks for ch 11!! short but intense! i thought this chapter would make me feel sad in a way due to jungkook's actions, but instead it ended with me feeling empowered lmfao!!! rooting for the oc and how she stuck up for herself! i loved the part about the discord between giving and receiving love and toxic masculinity. it's something society still struggles with today ugh.

Anonymous said:Chapter 11 is my favorite of the story so far!!! So many things happened in one chapter aaahhhh. Go OC! Hit him with the truth!!! As what Red Velvet says "Shot another bad boy down."

bangtan-sai said:OC from the new chapter of new rules is incredibly brave! She confessed and didn't try to backtrack. Even when Jungkook avoided her she continued to try to talk to him. She called him out in front of all those people. She may have found it difficult to do these things but she still found the courage to do them and I think that's amazing 💖

Anonymous said:Chap 11 made me feel things and i really do admire the oc a lot after this chapter. I love that she stood up for herself when jk was trying to make her feel like it was a one-sided r/s. The way he reacted to her confession was uncalled for, and it was very brave of the oc to call him out for being a coward and pushing her away. It certainly wasn't easy given how his friends were "mocking" her towards the end and the fact that she held her head high makes me want to root for her even more!!💖 💖

taetata95 said:I feel so like !!!! idk like I’ve been waiting for oc to kick jungkooks ass and THE WAY SHE STORMED IN THERE I LOVED IT I’ve been meaning to message you about new rules I love it it breaks my heart ngl the way she thinks about herself but I want to see oc kick some ass and IM BASICALLY READING IT FOR OC I LOV HER

Anonymous said:YES GO GIRL JUST GET OVER THAT LIL SHIT. YOU DESERVE BETTER. men and their toxic masculinity can fuck off srsly ugh

Anonymous said:I finally got to reading ch 12 of NR tonight and ended up in tears at the last scene when oc stands up to jungkook in front of all his other frat brothers. Telling them they’re a bunch of children that clings to their toxic masculinity, that was really cool of her and i wish i could be as courageous. i’ve always been proud of NR oc but i love her even more!

Anonymous said:“Because it’ll be so easy getting over you.” Yaaaaaasss girl throw it in his face. This line made me want to both cry from the angst and jump up and down cheering OC on for her confidence. I know people are sad about them ending, but I'm excited for the next part of this fic. Jungkook really has been an asshat so I'm happy OC finally realized his issues and confronted him.

LAKSDJFLSDFJ this makes me so happy!!! there is nothing i love more than girls supporting girls

and this esp makes me happy bc i have been planning this exact confrontation scene since like sept 2017 and was so nervous about it! in fact, the last line “it’ll be so easy getting over you” was prob the one thing that inspired me to write this entire, enormous, monstrous fic in the first place. so im so relieved that it’s out there and more importantly, that you guys have related to it so much klasdjf you guys are the best and i love you all

#new rules #new rules ch 11 #beautiful ppl #felixdwqins

[ardentlythieving]

HEWWO EVERYBODY IT’S END OF YEAR RECAP TIME WITH ME: UR PAL ARDO

First of all if ur reading this, merry christmas if u celebrate it and happy holidays if u don’t!!! Y’all are amazing people and I hope this time of year is a good one for you, and if it’s not I hope you find the time to do smth nice for urself!!

Dam this year has been crazy tho. I mean if ur dash is anything like mine you’ve prob seen all those posts talking about how long this year has felt re: the sheer amount of stuff happening. But on a more individual level there’s some stuff I wanna say I guess so in no particular order here is my Thoughts™ coz there’s been some good, some bad, and some weird this year. 

So, this year has been a kind of wild one for me in terms of things changing. The big one being that I started university and kinda lost contact with most of my pals from high school. All goods tho, coz I met some amazing new people thru tabletop gaming who idk if I’m at the friends point with yet, but I defo wanna try and get there coz they’re cool as heck. It’s true what people say that starting university is a big change coz DAM things have been wild and hopefully are gonna keep being wild next year espc coz one of my online friends is moving down to start at my university and I’m super excited to meet her in person!! Speaking of meeting people in person I finally got to hang out with @chipmunkwithwings at her place and that was one of the highlights of my year for sure! She’s a super cool person and that week was just utterly brilliant.

Anyways while we’re on the topic of friends this year sure has been exciting for that as well. I’ve made some amazing new ones, gotten closer with some older ones, had some drift apart and thru it all I’ve learnt something important. Namely that, there’s nothing wrong with the friends I had before, but I’ve felt so much better and it’s just been so much healthier for me now I’ve also started pursuing and focusing on friendships with people around my age. It sounds weird to say, but despite having a good collection of close friends there was a part of me that was lonely, and that part has kinda stopped being so much now not all my friends are 10ish years older than me. 

That’s one thing I’ve discovered, but this year has been a big one for discovery for me. I tried a bunch of different papers and found out that I hate international relations and love philosophy. I’ve started learning Swedish!! And probably the biggest and most important discovery: thanks to my friends telling me “dude you really need to do this” I’ve gotten on anti-depressants!!! Which have really been helping me so much. That’s probably.... my biggest regret is that I didn’t get on them a few years ago. Still, I’m on them now and my head is just working so much better. Also, and I’ve talked about this in an earlier post so if you wanna kno deets you can go read it, I properly I guess remembered? stopped repressing? how a friend abused me a few years ago and started working thru the issues I have because of that.  

At this point I’m gonna put things under a cut coz this is where shit is gonna get long. 

Some letters, to the people I’ve known this year. I know a LOT of people so I’m prob gonna not mention anyone so if I don’t mention you: I love y’all. Ur so so fucking brilliant all of u and I’m honored to know you and to have had this chance to be in contact with y’all. I’m deeply sorry for any way I might have wronged you over this year, and if any of you wronged ME I forgive you entirely. If any of you haven’t really talked to me, but want to; or if we’ve drifted outta contact and you wanna pick things back up or ANYTHING at all feel free to msg me anytime. My discord is ardentlyThieving#4893 and this is an open invitation to anyone reading this coz there’s a ton of cool ppl on here who I haven’t talked to as much as I’d like. Anyways onto the individual stuff.

To the afternoon gang. You guys all mean so so fucking much to me, more than probably anyone else. Ur my best support network, my greatest pals. Being friends with you all is a fucking delight. I know I’m not always active in our server, but trust me that it’s nothing on you. I’ve enjoyed every moment hanging out with you guys. Or well, most of them at least :P. We have the wildest conversations and trust me, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know some of you guys have had a hard time this year and I’m so sorry that you guys are going thru that shit coz y’all deserve so much better. It’s my deepest hope that next year is a good one for all of you and if there’s every anything I can do you guys know where to find me. I love you so so so so so much and I hope these last few days of 2018 are as good for you as they can possibly be.

To the people of Eff’s servers. You guys are super duper cool. Being salty with y’all is so much fun and also so deeply annoying that people keep pulling this shit that we gotta be salty about. I love the fact that we can go from shitty meme posting (usually my fault) to having in depth n thoughtful conversations about just about anything (hopefully usually not my fault). Y’all are amazing people and it feels like you’ve all found urselves a bit more this year, which I’m so happy for you about.

To Sakshi. That’s right, u get an individual one. Ur like, my hero. Srsly dude the fact that ur so fucking patient with the utter dumbasses msging you and that u started this whole deep conversation that ur not backing down from? I’m so proud of you, I admire you so much, and you have my utmost support. Hmu if you ever need me to drag someone for you. Also i’m sorry to out you as a gamer to the fine people of tumblr dot com (actually I’m not that sorry) but it’s been so much fun playing swtor with you. And salt watching things with you. I love how fun our friendship is and also how we can have proper deep conversations like 10/10 A+ content. 

To Hammi. Dude you are awesomesauce. My fave lesbian pal. I love memeing with you and gaming with you and chatting with you. Here’s to another great year broski!

To Clare. We’ve only just met at the very end of this year and I’m so glad we did. Ur super cool and funny and I love ur art n posts.

To my swtor guild. Another group of wonderful people who I’ve only just met. i’m so fucking excited to get to know all of you better coz y’all have such great swtor opinions and are so much fun to play with. Sorry about what I did to the Gizka flagship bridge lmao.

To Sofa. DUDE HI! becoming friends with you this year has been one of the highlights. Thank you for all the support you’ve given me and for all the fun times we’ve had. I adore playing video games with you and I fucking love ur swtor ocs. You’ve been there for me so much, and I hope I’ve been there for you as well. Thank you for everything.

To Marie. Yet another person I met later on this year and haven’t had the chance to get so close with. Defo my bad there I need to msg you more often. Thanks for being there for me, even though I was kind of a shitty friend to you at one point. I didn’t deserve ur patience but you gave it to me anyway and I’m so fuckin grateful for that. I hope to make that up to you in the coming year. <3

To Jason. We were tight at the start of the year and kinda drifted apart which I regret. Msg me anytime dude and if you ever reinstall swtor you should totally hmu coz playing it with you was a ton of fun!! 

To Traya. I know we’ve only talked on and off this year, but I’m so excited for you to be at my university and to hang out in person!! Hang in there dude, coz there’s so many cool people for you to meet and take it from me that university really is so much better than college.

Ok this is where the happy positivity ends!! Again I love y’all so much and I hope that next year is better for all of you then this one was!!! Thanks for being pals with me, I appreciate it so much even when I’m not great at showing it.

Coz there’s one more letter I gotta write coz after however many years I want closure. This is where it ends.

To Teri. Wow. I never thought I’d be saying ur name again. Well typing, but w/e. That first year we were friends was so fucking good and I’m glad we had that, coz you were a pretty cool person. I dunno why you decided to change all that and start hurting me and I’m probably never gonna understand but you know what? That’s ok. I don’t need to. You hurt me, I got out. I’m not sure, but I think you were being hurt by people as well and I hope you got out like I did. No matter how badly you treated me you still don’t deserve to be abused urself. Nobody deserves that. I don’t know if I forgive you, and I don’t know if I ever will, but I hope things are better for you now. I’m sorry for the times I wronged you while we were friends. This isn’t me saying I deserved to be abused by you, because I sure as hell didn’t, but well. Two wrongs don’t make a right and ur abuse doesn’t magically erase the times I wasn’t the greatest friend. I thought ignoring the things you did to me would make things better, but instead I let it all fester inside me and change my behaviour without realizing that’s what happened. So this is me letting go of it all. Coz you don’t get to fuckin take anything else away from me. I’m better now than I was then despite everything you did to me. This is me, making a conscious choice to heal and move on and grow. It’s not gonna be easy, but imma do it and it’s gonna be so fucking wonderful. This is Arden signing out because you don’t GET to have any control over my life anymore. Never ever again.

#ardently original #happy long ass christmas post lads

[jeanjauthor]

Wow, your speed and dedication is amazing! The fact that you make a habit of leaving comments to help other writers is nice and honestly sweet, too. It comes off sincere and like you know what you’re doing, which doesn’t come as a surprise with all the books you’ve written. You’re a role-model, really. I’m glad I came across your blog and I look forward to seeing you on my dash some more. Stay sensational! 🌻

Thank you very much for all these compliments!  Alas, I’ve slowed down quite a bit, but I haven’t entirely stopped, thank goodness. (I honestly don’t know what I’d do with myself if I ever completely stopped writing & being a writer.)

Originally, I tried starting this blog as more of an essay type thing, writing on specific topics...but realized that side from maybe how to correctly handle multiple character point-of-view in a single scene, I’m really not able to add anything that others haven’t already covered multiple times before me.  (Srsly, though, there is a way to do multiple pov successfully; I don’t know why they don’t teach it in school anymore...*sigh*  Anyone can ask me at any time and I’ll go back over it if you want to know how.)

I do think I’ve hit my rhythm, my niche, in commenting on things that people can include in their stories, and why they should include such things, or at least why they should consider doing it.  Mainly because a lot of people ask writers (and artists) “Where do you get your ideas?” and “How did you come up with that?”  and “I loved it when you included (obscure little trivia fact)/(helpful piece of information).”

I like to jokingly answer that first question with “Why, I extract my ideas from the terminus of my alimentary canal, of course!”  (aka “pull ‘em outta my butt”) ...and my more serious answer is “I’m often inspired by things I dream about”...but that’s only a portion of where i get my inspiration from.  Inspiration also comes from being able to step back and look at things objectively, or dive in and look at them subjectively, while still maintaining an objective outside awareness that allows you to analyze whether or not something is useful.

Being able to do that only comes with practice.  It requires training your mind not to store exact answers (though that can be helpful), but training your mind how to look at something.  It’s like knowing how to use Google most effectively to find what you’re looking for, rather than just relying upon pre-memorized facts & figures.

This is, in a way, teaching people to think critically, in the sense of objectivity, and with care and consideration, and being willing to be critique your work.

Critiquing isn’t about being critical (harmfully denigrating), but about being helpfully analytical.  I learned a long time ago, and I staunchly maintain, that the most helpful comments anyone ever can make on a story are the ones where they list not just the things they didn’t like or the things they loved, but the why behind each like or dislike.  (Obviously delivered in a polite, non-hurtful way.)  If you open your mind to good (as in helpful, not sugary) critiques, you can learn to write better stories next time...even if you disagree on some of the things being pointed out.

But the first step in all of that is to write a story, and that means learning how to put in various elements that enrich it and make it seem more alive, more vibrant.  I’m also passionate about using writing as an opportunity for educating someone while your stories are entertaining them.  Entertainment, education, and enlightenment are all components that make a story memorable, and one of the things making it worth rereading for most people.

(I may not always succeed at that, but I do try!)

[saportuh]

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT 

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

#finally posting it lmao #81218 #long post -

[the-main-characterr]

realised i forgot to watch tharntype,

will do rn.

kinda feel like i also grew out of that but eh we’ll see

types aggressive being still annoys me

y u always >:(

if i dated someone for 7 years and they still didn’t marry me, i’d be insecure ASF

i like 2gether more than tharntype

it’s prettier

you could’ve done ur alarm urself bitch

why are you talking so slow?

why are u judging em tho just watch the show

i think everyone that knows me a lil bit knows why i like 2gether more

7 years are actually a lot-

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

i kinda want one but i also don’t like what

i said it before and i’ll say it again: types aggressive behaviour annoys me

not tryna b judgemental but if u stick to type for 7 years u have all my respect

watching this hurts in my soul

that p’cir and phu r cool

love the sound effects

love the time i lived in when i watched the first season

if i’m so judgemental already, i also don’t like their kitchen

it’s so boring wth

wow- now i feel bad.

sorry.

the way tharn puts his phone in his front pocket is everything but *judgemental comment here* i can’t think of any bad things rn

i’m so scared of both of them like they’re always like >:(

you can’t just force someone into marriage-

no but like why would a stranger want to know if you have a relationship or not i mean you’re not going to random people and say hi we’re married

i mean i would do that but i’m the main character-

if someone “could stay mad at me” id be fucked-

yall are so sensitive just touch the bread

that phegun and p’cir are cute ngl

no like literally yall are so dramatic

i liked fiat but wth

doc is cute

just because you’re not married doesn’t mean you’re sharing him-

type improved tbh

awh they cute-

the music———————— jail

marriage.

POSSESSIVEEEEEEE

lucky me being zen-meryem rn

perfect representation on how personality can destroy everything

until this day, i still don’t know what a lines ID is supposed to be

this was too cute i’m ded

rip me

i love the sound effects yfrvjjvgjmkb

love their style

fiat u can’t just-

come for a taken man that’s the most disgusting thing possible

like even if he wasnt happy with tharn or in a toxic relationship it’s not ur stupid job to manipulate and steal wth

leo u have all my respect

wouldnt mind being ur bestie

stfu fiat u r a toxic attention seeking bitch that is nothing more but unethical

selfish brat

this is cute-

love

ngl the fact it’s been 7 years n they stilsbxbwjbdwbbx

cute

ok leo i understand why u took it back but i still respect u for even doing it

phugun is too possessive

of p’cir idk the names but one of them

the not cute one

idk why yall hate on no so much he funny af

oh i see

phugun is the cute one

P’CIR IS TOOO POSSESSIVE

let the man live wth

seo is literally it dnxjdbjdbsbf

what did actually happen to the guy that’s been a bitch and possessed over tharn

lol i actually feel bad for type. it’s the first time i see him EMOTIONAL and damn-

must hurt.

omg istg i also wonder why he doesn’t quit

this is too much I CANT

Imma suffocate on the cutegsbsbdbbd ah i’m dying

hmph ig im just to tough to cry😤

WOAH

heart attack-

SHXBHSBC A MAN

doc, ily

this picture-in-picture thingy is so cool

i remember a time type didn’t want to admit he missed him

the hdhxb ishdiuebchw immaculate

fiat i’m scared of u

“every time i really want someone, i never get them” FELT. FELT FELT FELT difference is that my dumbass don’t want them when they want me🥲 it’s ok. time knows what it’s doing

fiat u r heartless

imagine having a healthy relationship with ur mother in law

yall be having literal bodyguards

i could SELL MY SOUL HE DID SOMETHING IN THAT DRINK

ok i wasn’t sure about it but by the amount that guy said cheers i couldn’t be more convinced that this man is evil

the fact that he didn’t tuck his shirt is the whole evidence

DATE ALREADY I CANT HHGGYYGCCXDDXCGBB U N CHAMP FOREVER

doc-

you heard him don’t leave him

HUH WAIT I HAVE TO WAIT!?

THOUGHT I CAN

WATCH IT ALL THROUGH

if you don’t move ur ass rn i’ll come to thailand myself n kick ur ass

too invested-

JANUARY 22?/!/£:!.!3):£WHAT

i cant-

okay cool i waited a few weeks imma continue wasching now

oh i remember. i was yelling at that basketball kid

STOP ASSAULTING A DRUNK PERSON AH J CANT MY EYES

omg leo thanks u saved my life thank u ily

you don’t have to be on top of him just to question him-

be scared stupid bitch

types just simply sleeping somewhere completely left alone👁👄👁

DUDE WHY U SO AGGRESSIVE

i CaN bE yOuR hUsBaNd BITCH ION REALLY THINK SO

WOW

I FORGOT UR NAME BUT DAYUMN SHOW HIM

i wish i had someone that kept his promise under every circumstance

ppl that promise me things b like i NeVeR sAiD tHaT hUhH

yall just so addicted to each other like chill

if i’d marry someone, i’d feel so old

like hi i’m MARRIED

stop with the i miss u it’s so emotional

tharn you look so done with ur life lmfao

fiat you’re so annoying istg

cant u just ply basketball and leave these ppl alone like piss off

why yall crushing on type crush on me

fiat go study or sumn srsly

STOP

omg STAHP HE JUST SAID WATCH UR KNEE

DONT U FUGGIN KISS HIM OMFG

ah doorbell.

thanks.

phu you’re so funny

WHAT- wth fiat please stop you’re ridiculous

For seven years, i’ve never had eyes for anyone but him. damn- imagine-

my hearts b shattering ITS NOT HIS FAULT

well okay there’s a lot of evidence against

STILL

ITS NOT HIS FAULT

i mean i see tharns point but

ARGHZBSHSBXBWBXB

for personal reasons i will be passing away

the audacity of this bitch is giving me ANGER

imagine buying wedding rings just to come home n hear “we should take a break”

fuck anger i’ll cry

why even want fiat💀

AH DONT CRY J CANT HSBSHABX

phu you’re so cute like THE CHARACTER

thanya you’re such a queen i can’t explain

this scene is so funny they all b sitting there like 👀👀👀👀👀

MY SOUL

you disgust me.

ok first off phu gun your style is so cool like that white shirt- FABULOUS 10/54

n second off, my dumbass felt like WHO IS THAT MAN HITTING ON FIAT I KNOW HIM

silly me it’s cir-

handsome man ngl

WHY DROP UR SUITCASE HUH

don’t tell me he died

oh god he didn’t die-

WHATS THE MATTER THEN

you guys are so sensitive can’t get hurt at all

always going like OH SHIT I NEEDA GO TO THE HOSPITAL

“cant even make an instant noodle” that’s why we admire u lmao

ok chill u just spilled it

you look so cute when u pissed at urself shxbsbc

ah thanya u r so cool

HERE IT IS THE HEALTHY MARRIAGE I WAS SEARCHING IN THIS SERIES OMFG

“lack of communication can even break apart the most loving relationship” SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN GHE BACK

COMMUNICATION, WHAT A LOVELY WORD

this series is fulfilled now

i could listen to these two forever

i cant with leo and fiat fcstvhjfftc

don’t act like the shy bitch now u stoopid

this is hard to watch ew

khom being a philosopher of love fxtvjbj

he didn’t just leave his i miss u

yall tryna get drunk with my heart

STOP CRYINGGGGG

im gon suffocate

stop i didn’t start this show to murder myself

pls calm ur face u look so aggressive

i wonder how many times tharn talked to sleeping type in those 7 years

u r basically talking to a wall

OH

HE WROTE THAT SONG

oh just to be someone to know what ordained is

those blue thingys r so cool

thanks this is everything i needed

doc champ, how long shall i wait

he’s not bald-

did they even cut his eyebrows-

oh monk.

didn’t they shoot these scenes during rona-

those r some fire makeup skillz

HE DID NOT

YOURE SIMPLY PLAYING WITH HIS HEART

WHATDIDHESAYYYY

officially ripped my heart into pieces

that was definitely not a kiss kiss

[iliyovunjika]

12, 13, 20

@haxuss | THIS GOT DEEP REALLY QUICKLY Development questions ;;

12. How are they bodily expressive? How do they use nonverbal cues such as their posture, stance, eyes, eyebrows, mouths, and hands? 

Shiro has a touching habit. Although he doesn’t like to touch others with his prosthetic, he doesn’t really hesitate to either when there’s no reason to. (Like say if he were injured or the prosthetic was damaged some how, he’d absolutely refuse to do so out of fear for emotive reaction being too high.) His non-verbal ways of concern, showing he’s proud or that he supports someone, is by putting his hand on their shoulder. When he’s worried he gets a little crease in his brow and narrows his eyes a bit, frowning rather than that smile he wears all the time. When he’s not sure what to say or do when something’s going on, he tends to cross his arms and look down because he’s thinking rather hard and focusing on a spot in the floor helps keep to that thought.

There’s a lot of things he does body wise when it comes to expression. Tapping his fingers against his leg will show he’s either anxious or too deep in thought, because this is him tapping out scales or rhythms that calm him down or that he’s habitually gotten into tapping out. Posture wise, he’s just as expressive. When he’s standing there’s three things to tell. If he has his arms crossed and his features seem pensive, he’s either listening hard and seriously or he’s getting irritated (Though to tell if its one or the other, irritation is followed by an even sharper glare.) If he’s standing still with his arms relaxed at his side and his shoulders dropped a bit, he’s actually rather relaxed and simply observing. However, if he’s tensely standing in place and then pacing a bit with his posture rigid, he’s anxious or angry and generally those two go hand in hand for him because its a rarity outside of war council or the battlefield.

One thing to pay mind to mostly is how he’s sitting half the time. If he’s asleep, he’ll likely be sitting upright with his eyes closed and his arms and legs crossed while he leans back against a wall. Most often this is confused for him simply relaxing but really, boy’s tryin’a catch some quick z’s ‘cause gods know he doesn’t sleep enough on a regular time scale. He doesn’t sit often, more akin to walking around, keeping busy, training, or just standing. So the key notes where he’s concerned is to pay attention to his expression. He’ll scowl when he’s having flash backs, brows furrowed and features tense with his hands clenching tightly to his biceps. If he’s in deep thought and sorrowful, he’ll tend to actually let his head drop forward so people think he’s asleep since he’ll keep his eyes closed 80% of the time and only tends to stare at his lap when its something really heart aching because closing his eyes just makes it worse. He’ll just appear relaxed in that case.

Point is, Shiro is actually really expressive in body language rather than verbally. He may not say anything at all but if one knows him extremely well, picking up on these things isn’t hard to do.

13. How do they greet the world — what is their typical attitude towards life? How does it differ in different circumstances, or towards different subjects? Why do they take these attitudes, and why do they change? How do these tend to be expressed? 

Which world? Seriously though, he actually has an optimistic meets realism type look towards the universe. Realistically he wakes up ready for anything, alarmingly alert and always at the ready for what ever may happen. Optimistically, he looks forward to each day he knows that he’s alive and everyone around him is safe. So long as they’re alright, he has an optimistic view. However, when they’re injured, he tends to damn the universe a little while damning himself more. The circumstances are as they are and he has to do all he can to help. That’s how it is to him. He’s incredibly blunt and doesn’t try to sugarcoat the reality he exists in. He doesn’t overlook it but he’s not going to let it stop him because he’s hopeful. After all the universe has done to him one would expect him to have a rather poor view of it but in reality he’s geared up and ready for a fight. He takes on this attitude because if he doesn’t, he knows he wouldn’t be able to fight with them. If he let the universe beat him down and keep him down, he wouldn’t be able to serve as any help at all to them.

On the days when he’s cursing the universe, he’s not pessimistic but he’s not optimistic either. Rather he’s incredibly realistic and logical. When he’s gearing up for a brawl against it and ready to face what ever’s thrown at him, he’s optimistic but keeps a level head and a lot of hope to back his courage in taking a step out of his quarters. In all reality he’s a bit skewed at times and the reason that is is because some days are worse than others and sometimes the horrors that haunt him are more vivid, leaving him with a bitter taste and a brutal visage to face. As for how they’re expressed-- On the good days, he’s training hard and has a lighter step. He’s more active in conversation and keen on the draw with picking things up. On the bad days, he’s training way too much and distracted, overlooking things and not keen on conversing much. The last view is apathy, one he loathes the most. Where he doesn’t care about anything. These are the worst days for him, when he’s suffered so much in a single setting that he’s having a hard time processing it. This shows because he’s not there. He won’t even leave his quarters unless its an emergency. However, getting him out of that apathetic stage is as simple as talking to him despite his wanting to not crawl out of his room. Doing so often reminds him that he has reasons beyond the agony to get up.

20. What kind of individual relationships do they have with others, and how do they behave in them? How are they different between intimate relationships like friends, family, and lovers versus more impersonal relationships?

Protective on all relationships okay, just. Super protective. To the highest power will fight anyone who raises a hand to you.

Strangers: Kind, polite, helpful, always smiling and being supportive if they’re sad. Legit, could not know your name and Shiro will literally be your best friend in a sense of being supportive if he thinks you’re sad. And gods forbid you be a child because then hey you’ve been adopted come with Uncle Not-Bucky and he’ll find your parents or guardian or take care of you in general if you don’t have a guardian. Gotta go fight a war? Stay with grandma Hoshiko and he’ll be back asap.

Friends: Super supportive and always there, never turns a blind eye to you what so ever when he’s in the room, always being attentive to your expressions and how you’re acting to make sure you’re okay, will tell you about times he’s royally fucked up to make you realize everyone can mess up sometimes and its alright to do so, will also tell you crazy stories about school where he ended up in a Jam™ and had to hide from the corporal in a broom closet on a shelf, more open with you than he would be with others at times but not really a whole lot, laughs a lot with you okay like legitimately will laugh genuinely with you not this under the breath chuckle shit he does with strangers.

Close Friends: Supportive? Hah! He’s NEXT LEVEL™ ‘I’m here for you and you are literal sunshine’ to you if you’re a close friend. Is SUPER attentive to you and your needs and will always notice when you’re down or even if you’re just thinkin’ somethin’ weird ‘cause he’s all about those little micro expressions. Will tell you all the embarrassing stories to make you laugh okay literally will not hesitate to tell you about the time he crashed a test ship and crawled out of it while smiling awkwardly at the general like ‘I’m so sorry’ yeah buddy ur def sorry for crashing a multi-million dollar aerial ship. Is more physically adept towards you, will hug you and will even let you sleep in his bed if you’re having trouble sleeping, will even give you forehead kisses and tell you what a good job you’re doing???? LOVES YOU GREATLY???? Srsly don’t even question it. He’s not TOTALLY physical with even close friends but there are definitely some differences here.

Romantic: I’m sorry did u mean ‘I will fucking fight anyone who tells you that you can’t do something’ supportive? ‘Cause that’s this man right here. Super awkward?? Like hold his hand and his ears suddenly turn red?? Hug him and he’s internally screaming?? KISS HIM AND HE’S DOWN FOR THE COUNT??? He’s not used to romanticism anymore. He doesn’t know how to deal with it anymore. He’s literally just a fish out of water awkward and just Trying his Best™. He doesn’t feel he deserves romanticism? Won’t easily fall into it in all reality and is actually kind of “AVERT YE EYES” towards it if he realizes he’s got the beginnings of a crush at all. Simply because he doesn’t feel he can divulge in such things?? But if you do manage to get him he is literally BEST AND WORST BOYFRIEND™ Best because: Always there, always supportive, will listen to you, pays attention to you and everything you like/dislike, tries to learn everything he can about you ‘cause he wants to know and gods he adores you so much?? Just let him love you?? Always keen on doing surprise things for you?? Will let you sleep in his lap while he works on data logging?? LETS YOU PLAY WITH HIS MECHANICAL FINGERS ‘CAUSE HE TRUSTS U SO MUCH AND IS CONFIDENT IN HIS OWN ABILITY NOT TO HURT YOU??

Worst because: Always worries about hugging you too hard or maybe hurting you at all by accident, has really bad episodes that are potentially dangerous which ends up with him a mess if he ever accidentally hurts you, will not stop telling you how much he cares about you, has to leave you to go fight aliens (unless you’re up there with him lbr), is constantly awake?? Like boy doesn’t sleep half the time and when he does its hardly with you unless he’s THAT tired?? Will only actually sleep willingly by you if he’s absolutely certain he’s not going to wake up swinging?? Probably gives you too much space ‘cause he’s worried about smothering?? Doesn’t trust himself at all.

Individual specific: Well that obviously depends on the individual themselves but he’s always trying to learn about other people and their culture, their ways, what they like and dislike, what they don’t want him to do and what’s potentially awful for him to do and what they like him doing. If he fucks up he’s always ready to apologize and explain himself, listen and learn from that mistake to make it up to them and not repeat it. For example, his relationship with Haxus started off AWFULLY lbr. I mean, boy they were SNIDE with each other okay he had absolutely NO filter but when he realized there was a lot more to it he sat down and listened to him. Like, he’s not going to care if you’re a 7ft alien alright he’s going to listen to you and do his best to try to understand. There’s things he CAN’T understand though and he knows that but he is all for trying to learn either way and if he can’t even still he’ll do his best to avoid potentially making things worse. Where it concerns individuals themselves he is a lot more personally adept to THEM. What he applies to another person doesn’t apply to them and he won’t ever cross the paths of that at all if he can help it.

He’ll make comparisons at times in order to understand better like saying ‘Okay so you hunt live animals and bring them back alive. That’s like so and so in this region of Earth’ but he’s not saying they’re exactly alike, he just makes the comparison to get a better grasp on things.

The differences between all these are pretty clear in a sense of how intimate he can be in closer relationships and how withheld he is in impersonal ones. He’s doing his best and sometimes he fails horribly but he tries again to learn better and do what he can.

#||☀||: ᶤᶰᶰᵉʳ ᶜˡᵒᶜᵏʷᵒʳᵏ ;; #Inbox Things; #Long post // #[ BABE ASKIN' THE HARD HITTIN' QUESTIONS ] #haxuss