In your presence I’m soft. filled with butterflies like the night before Christmas
see… I’ve never had a feeling like this, feeling so safe so at ease.. it’s the peace you bring into my inner world.. I’m sharing pieces of myself like never before.. I hold you dear to me, my soul is connected with you, too you, attached to each other all wrapped in one this is enough love to last a lifetime.
Effleurage: a delicate stroking motion in massage. The word is taken from the French word "effleurer," meaning to stroke as one would a flower. That is how I would touch you, my love, my beautiful flower.
A spoken word poem I redid to give it life again. Click on poem to hear me speak.
She always acted as if she was so cultured. As if she was so much better than us because she ate steaks medium rare when we were 15. She acted as if she was God's gift to us because she sang like a bird and moved like she was one with the wind. She was so special. The most special person to walk this earth in centuries; I'm sure her mother told her so. I thought she was confident in a disgusting way. She was so much smarter than us because she got awards and recognition. And this may come across as jealousy but I was always more proud than anything. Not so much anymore. It's like once you are removed from a situation you can see things so much clearer. She was the worst. She acted as if we were the earth. Cold, and compact made for her feet to trod on. She acted as if we were loyal followers when really I wouldn't have followed her anywhere. But honestly, most days I did gaze upon her with awe. Once upon a time she was something to behold. Nowadays I'd walk past her without a second look.
~things I wrote at my job I hate instead of doing my job: part 5
my boyfriend takes a picture of me like it’s the first day of school.
i’m business casual
airbrushed skin
hair just washed
dark circles
empty fucking eyes.
it’s my first day at work.
i’m paraded around the office, plastering a smile on my face that even i don’t believe.
i don’t remember anyone’s name.
every second dedicated to train
i’m pretending like i don’t spend every single second agonizing over what happened.
it’s my first day at work.
i get 2 read the handbook full of mission statements, safety protocols, and
i get 2 messages from you asking how i’m doing but i know you don’t mean it, i know you don’t mean it because
i got 2 hours of sleep last night because i was waking up next to a man who was not my boyfriend or trying to sleep off the worst hangover i’ve ever had or desperately combing through my memories to figure out what the fuck happened because all i remember is black or at the hospital getting a rape kit until 1am or in my bedroom putting my sheets and new clothes into evidence bags or in my boyfriend’s room pretending like i was sleeping when really all i could do was stare at the wall.
it’s my first day of work!
i get 2 read about rape.
victims get 2 weeks to recover
i haven’t even been here for 2 days.
”
— kdf // i will never again be the person i was before and i will forever resent you for that.
This is a spoken word that I first created two years ago that went viral on Pinterest and was saved so many times by viewers that it can no longer be saved. Which is why I’ve created a new version with a different image.
Michael reads September 1, 1939 by WH Auden. His readings are always a master at work. This one will hold your heart in a vise. The recitation was done as the world had just started to really batten down the hatches for Covid in 2020. And…well all that entailed is in evidence here.