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It’s when living becomes an idea that slowly fading away, and the light at the end of the tunnel was nothing but a burning fire, it’s when the darkness within you starts to expand and turns into a blackhole or more like a point of no return, it’s when sorry’s means nothing along with the people it’s when everything you ever tried has failed you.
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Tell me am I ahead or running late?
Because if I'm right where I belong
Why do I still feel alone?
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No. I don’t think you understand. What I mean to say is that the tears I shed for you are endlessly recycled. They were no different than the heartbreaks before and after. A stubbed toe. A sad movie. These tears have held my hand through far better and far worse than you, and they will forget you too. Just to be clear. There is nothing special in my damp cheeks other than the fact they are mine. And eventually, they always dry.
No. Please. Try to listen this time. When I said I wanted you back I meant we are broken and I can’t stand the idea of holding the hammer. I mean, I didn’t want your love I wanted your permission to leave. You gave me that. I suppose that is the one thing I should thank you for. But I won’t. Do you understand why? I don’t think you do. The girl I was before you would have never asked, she would have just left. In fact, I think she might have. I think I might still be trying to find her.
No. You’re still not hearing me right. When I say I’m not dating because of you, it is not because I want you. Okay? It is because without you I have found myself and I am so scared of letting go. I love my books and my tea and my flowers and that every mess I make I can just clean up. Look. You’ve convinced me that I must choose myself or a lover and I have made my choice. I’m ashamed it was once you.
No. I don’t think you’re getting this. When I say I wish you well I mean I wish her well. Yes, I know about her. I wish for her often. I wish she does not have to choose between the sugar coating her tongue and the power in her voice. I wish she never finds herself curled up in a cave until your storm passes. I wish one day her child pushes another and she does not immediately think to blame you. Most of all, I wish she could see her dream is my nightmare. And that I have no wishes for you.
- sheispoetrying // I don’t need your closure
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A Condom Separating Tomato and Sun
mortality is a door
walls are doors
many are open
none are born
we can talk about spirit
we can talk about soul
we can talk about you
and my mortality
and how much is meaningful
and how tomatoes are more fruitful
— birthing,
they need sugar you say
but then they're just apples
sauce of pizza
and for pasta
separations for pleasure
simple painting using corel painter, additional photographs layered in
graphic and words ©spacetree 2023
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newbury street
i think that i think that you might be the love of my life
isn’t that crazy to say?
because i think so too, and sometimes i think
it’s just for today, but then i
find myself thinking that every day
sometimes you don’t really reply me
but then my best friends never do
and that’s something i’ve just gotten used to
before your train ride to new york,
you stood by the tracks watching as i walked away
you wouldn’t stop waving at me
i thought, “jesus this guy has to
make a laugh out of everything, even
the longest goodbye,”
and i waited till you turned away to watch you leave
you ran after the train because it stopped too far
ahead, you’re just a tiny boy with a small suitcase
making a mess out of everything
and i retrace the steps that we’ve taken before while
new places grow familiar from the thought
of you, and all of those ice cream shops
i’ve tried are as much for me as they are
for you, and i know every day’s too much to
look through the windows and hope you’re in stock,
but you’ll see newbury street in new york
and think of me in all the places we haven’t gone,
even if just for a moment.
and if you think of me everyday, maybe we can
water our love as a seed sitting by my
window, next to the one that you got
for me; the baby shoots have grown
and i’ll sit here watching
no matter where you’ve
been or whether or not you decide to
leave.
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i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person
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— David Cronenberg, Consumed
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{Quotes:Nitya prakash/Richard siken ,crush}
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The purest form of love is consideration. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel. Pays attention to detail. Holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you. In any bond, how much they care about you can be found in how much they consider you
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I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them
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I have exhausted all my strength trying to convince myself that I am strong.
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Everything is fine
Reality is creeping in
Like a blinding, clear slimy little thing
The world is dripping, showily fading
Shut your eyes tight
Pray the sun isn't about to rise
Why do I have to wake up?
Don't you know our world is fucked?
So just let me rest a little why
Enjoying this little lie
Staring at the clock
It's barley nine
Are you living
Or just waiting for time to die?
I don't want to get up
Can't you see our world is fucked
So just leave me here to die
Enjoying my little lie
everything is fine
Everything is fine
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We had a good day. I bought apples from the orchard and we ate warm cinnamon donuts at an old picnic table.
You gave me a napkin but I had already licked the sugar from my fingertips. I have always loved sweet things.
Now I lay awake listening to the song of your breath I can’t bear to stop. I carefully peel from your bed and make a new home on the couch.
It’s less lonely here, somehow. I think there must be something wrong with me.
But I fall asleep easily.
-(a.e.) SheIsPoetrying // guilt
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