#specfially what’s gonna happen the night before

[thesoundofmadness]

my surgery is a month away and I’m already anxious about it

#specfially what’s gonna happen the night before #if it wasn’t obvious enough I’ve been having sleeping problems for a while #with the biggest factor being I can’t sleep with hunger #but I won’t be allowed to eat anything after midnight #and my dad might not cook dinner that night because why should I expect my father #my only caretaker #to cook dinner for me without his stupid girlfriend around #earlier he got mad at us for asking to order out when he wasn’t making dinner #‘make the eggrolls in the freezer’ that’s not a meal sir #what should I expect from him when all he does is smoke weed and drink all day #it wasn’t even 9 and he drank a Bloody Mary #he hit a thing before my doctors appointment this morning #like I get it shit is fucking awful right now and weed and alcohol are your only coping mechanisms #but you have two teenage daughters to take care of #learn some fucking self control and don’t do anything before noon #and don’t think I didn’t see you pouring beer into your to go cup earlier #fuck #ignore this I’m just tired and angry #and anxious #it’s one am I wanna sleep