Billy: Mom, what does coffee taste like?
Wanda: unfortunately, not as good as it smells.
Billy: Oh. Like shampoo.
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Keiji: I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one, boys
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Also, I was right, I went to Per’s tag on twitter and people are literally like “He’s so ignorant and arrogant, his commentary is awful, he sounds like a conspiracy theorist sometimes” and I’m like, dude, are we watching the same person????
Loki makes this to show mobi how hes felt all his life
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meg: what’re you in for? murder?
zookeeper: *looking at the penguin meg’s talking to* they’re not in for anything-
meg: so they can leave
meg: because they're in witness protection?
meg: THEN WHAT THE HADES IS GOING ON KHAKI MAN?
Woo!!! The hype is real!!!! :D
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@pagetpaget: The Babs De Niro workout. It’s mostly complaining.
@pagetpaget: Still going
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Edmund: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.
Edmund: *cuts a piece of cake*
Hostage: ..can I have some?
Edmund: Cake is for talkers.
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Elodie: Remember to always follow your dreams! Unless they interfere with my dreams, of course.
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Nursey: All I ask is that you get to know me on a deep, intimate level while I resist and obstruct your every attempt to do so.
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Men bitching about the video games that girls play, as if Red Dead Redemption isn't just a more intense version of Barbie Horse Adventures.
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Jirou: Disrespect me again and I’ll determine your body’s resonate frequency and play a funky bass lick that boils your miserable organs inside out
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when i was inpatient every dark joke you'd tell went on the chart so I think I managed to kick my habit there
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Stanley: Fuck being the bigger person, I'm going to start biting the Narrator.
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Can I get one large ughhhhhhhhh.... 🐄
here’s an interesting one. This is a photo I took of one of many, many cryptic elon musk-themed stickers that are posted around the area I live. I have no explanation for the meaning.
Ladybug: I just need to hear those three little words.
Chat Noir: I love you.
Ladybug: Try again.
Chat Noir, grumbling: I will behave.
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Dr. Hibbert: How do you rate your pain?
Homer: Zero stars.
Homer: Would not recommend.
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Kyo’s teacher: You’re currently failing your ethics class.
Kyo: [Slides 2000¥ across the desk] How about now?
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