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theenbynightingale · 6 minutes ago
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Emma: I'm not getting into anymore stupid arguments with you.
Kitty: George Washington invented the one dollar bill. That's why his face is on it!
Emma: Nice try. But you're going have to do better then that to get under my skin.
Kitty: To find the square root of 98,632 you need to hit the number with a laser.
Emma: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!? HIT THE NUMBER WITH A LASER?!
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theenbynightingale · 17 minutes ago
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Carrie: Could you ever see us as more than just friends?
Devin: Yes! I’m so glad you asked!
Devin: I can totally see us as dragons! Hang on, let me find the picture I drew…
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Conversation
Natsuki: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man? None.
Shiki: DUDE, THAT'S LOW!
Natsuki: Just like the population of Ireland during the Great Famine.
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Roman: For never was a story of more woe.
Virgil: O bard Alexa, play us Despacito.
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strangeironaf · 2 hours ago
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Tony: i have two words to tell you.
Stephen: yeah?
Tony: i love you.
Stephen: but that make three words.
Tony: no, it's not, because you and I are one.
Stephen: *tearing up* you're so gross.
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malia: i'll speak french between your legs
kira: that's... the hottest thing i've ever been told
scott: i'm just picturing someone screaming ‘BONJOUR!’ at a penis
stiles: SACRE BLEU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA
liam: HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS
lydia: literally none of you should be having sex, ever
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chasegrangerkingdom · 4 hours ago
Conversation
Marlene: Why are you two holding hands?
Remus: Oh, we heard it helps relieve stress.
Marlene: Really? I thought you guys were dating.
Sirius: Oh, we are, but we're also really, really stressed.
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incorrect-omgcp-frogs · 4 hours ago
Conversation
Chowder: Why text one heart when you can text THREE and still have them be big? That's my motto.
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Glimmer, stubbing her toe: Ow! Son of a bi-
Bow, pointing at Frosta: Children!
Glimmer: Biscuit. Son of a biscuit.
Bow: Nice save!
Glimmer: Yeah! Fucking nailed it
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lauriel816 · 5 hours ago
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*At Father’s Day*
Erik: I love you, son, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Peter: I’m the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Erik: Yes.
Peter: I'm starting to feel a bit sorry for you.
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borealissystem · 5 hours ago
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We're Back to the Funny Times Everyone!
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venividivictorious · 5 hours ago
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"I was going to say 'at least I'm a better person than my father' but that's? Such a low bar, really? But it's also not a lie, technically, so. Better person than my father! Just casually stepping over that on-the-floor bar."
- Skulduggery Pleasant, at some point probably
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Superboy: (flirting) Tim, if we were dating, heh, let's just say horses wouldn't be called "horses" anymore.
Robin: What the fuck does that even mean?
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