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12-seconds-to-live · 9 months

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(Un)Lost: Head in the game

Pairing: F12022/3!Grid! x Fem!Driver!oc

Warnings: DNF’s, angst, a little bit of love, episodes of anxiety, Seb’s retirement, harsh words.

Pierre Gasly was curious.

No.

Pierre Gasly is the first source of gossip.

To put you into context, after the chaos coming from every garage after finished the FP2, the frechman put himself, Yuki and Charles to take a decent look into Charlottle Robyn-Jones. Neither Yuki or Charles knew where he found binoculars. In front of the Williams hospitality is the Alpha Tauri, so it’s easy to them to get the perfect spot to know everything. Almost

“I don’t like doing this Pierre. Anybody can see us. I mean... I don’t want Carlos to lecture me” started Charles

“Nobody is going to see you my friend, however, nobody can figure it out that I’m even looking into Williams”

“You’re stupid. Your face is almost at the front of the building” said Yuki rolling his eyes. “I’m going for a snack at the hotel. Bye”

“Bye Yukino. Well Charles... You and me now” As Pierre directed the binoculars something blue blocked his spy activities.

“Having fun, don’t you?”

“Oh hey Charlotte, just looking for Red Bull secrets, you know, they are so dominant”

“Dominant?” I crossed my arms

“Yeah, Max’s the current champion and everybody’s need to learn something about being good at every race” He stand up in front of me and looking for someone. Funny thing: Red Bull’s hospitality is on the other side of the paddock.

“Well, you better start looking into other teams secrets, Gasly. Not mine, you might get scared” I winked at Pierre and with my bag in my left shoulder, I walked to my motorhome.

“At least tell me one of them!”

After Bahrain madness, as many newspapers and almost every F1 fan acknowledge, Williams started with the right foot this season. Alex and I were as happy as ever, we cannot celebrate after the race due alcohol restrictions but back in London, Lily had to deal with the drunk buddies. At least she wasn’t mad with us for being in that state, a few days later she texted me how happy she is, ‘cause Alex is.

Anyway

Back to the important stuff.

Right now, where a bit far of the season, 9 pm and I’m waiting for Carlos, Carlos Sainz, Grand Prix winner in Silverstone. I had the chance to share the podium with him and Max. A dream come to true for both of us. His media duties and celebrations with the team last most that expected and who can’t blame them. He boy deserves it.

But, to the other main point here, the last few races has been incredible for Williams, right now we are in the top of the standings with Red Bull two points behind, in both drivers and constructors. For being my first season is great but at the same thing, it has a lot of pressure to acomplish a lot of things in my rookie season, don’t get me wrong, I’m the type who spend almost half and hour for different points of views of the fans. I’m a good driver, but I’m a woman, I’m too good for this team or I’m so bad for the sport that has been fully dominated for men who could find any excuse to take me out of my dream.

“Hey Char” I heard Lando calling me, he’s with one of his Quadrant hoodies and a bright smile on his face. “Carlos invited me to dinner, I know you’re waiting for him”

“Yeah, he’s a bit busy celebrating” I smiled to him

“You should be doing the same. P2 is a good result too”

“I know, but I prefer to focus on the races and have a better celebration at the end of the year” I started walking with him by my side “Also, my dad’s in Spain so It’s kinda weird to do it without him”

“Yeah. You have Carlos’s parents too, they were so happy watching you on the podium. Ana was crying by the way”

I blushed and laugh “Ana is my big sister, so I get it. My dad called me and he was crying” I stopped when we arrive in the main entrance “Did you saw Toto’s interview, he might be screaming right now”

“Not only him. Any team principal would find funny that a car that has to be below P15 could overtake two Mercedes at the same time” I laugh remembering the scene. I also waved to George, my bad.

“We are full of surprises, so, I guess that you’re going to be my chauffeur to the hotel?” Lando just look at me while he starting blushing and a small giggle come out his mouth.

“That’s ok with me” I opened the door to his McLaren at put my bag on my feet. As he start the engine and the car get to the exit a few fans we’re still waiting for our goodbyes. We waved at them and started our way to the hotel.

“So tell me more about you” Lando asked

“Wikipedia isn’t enough for you?” I giggled at him

“How do you...? I mean that’s not appropiate, better face to face”

“To my or Carlos face? I know you asked him”

“He’s not loyal anymore”

“I’ll tell you everything you want to know if you do something for me” I turned to look at him better with a gigantic smile

“No, no, you’re not going to drive my car”

“I don’t want that. I want to see Carlos’s face when his favourite song goes on repeat in the restaurant, like God’s will”

“Oh, I can do that”

All the way to the hotel went as calm as possible with music in the background and a nice view in our way to London. I said my goodbyes to get ready for the dinner with the Sainz. I decided for a nice baby blue dress and white heels, I put on some makeup and my hair in a really nice ponytail. 40 minutes later a message from Carlos was my alert to go to the lobby. The Spaniard hug me as soon as he saw me and with a smile on his face we go to his car, his parents, sisters and Caco where waiting for us in the restaurant and Lando will be arriving a few minutes late.

As we get to our table, Reyes, Carlos’s mom received me and told me how proud she is from us. I sat next to Carlos, leaving a spot for Lando.

“So, are you coming to Austria for the race?” I asked to Carlos parents

“We’re not sure, I have to sort out a few things for a rally exhibition in Madrid and your mother is coming with me” said Carlos sr. “What about your dad? Still busy with work?”

“He is but he arrives on friday to be with me and go try to organize our schedules for our vacations”

“Are you going to Japan or are you going to Mallorca with us?

I take a sip of my water “Yuki helped me with information for the trip, so I guess that our vacations in Mallorca might be for christmas or we could...ouch” Carlos kicked me when he first verse of his “favourite” song smooth operator started on the speakers

“It wasn’t me! Don’t be an animal” I kicked him back

“Then who?... You muppet” He said looking at Lando who was laughing at his face

“Cool song, uh”

“Not funny”

Lando sit next to me, still smiling “Wikipedia isn’t enough”

As the night went on, Carlos family, Lando and I called the night an hour later. The two drivers and I went together to the hotel. Carlos was in the 4th floor so he leave Lando and I in the elevator.

“Are you tired?”

“Not much, why?”

“I’m thinking that we can play 20 questions to get to know each other, no?” he said with a small pout on his lips

“Even if you’re not making a puppy face I would said yes, Norris”

In the 9th floor we leave the elevator to walk to my room, as we enter, we leave our shoes by the door. I put on my PJ’s while Lando sit on the bed

“Charlotte, favourite thing to do?”

“Mmmm Lando. Spend time with my dad and my dog, we usually walk around El Retiro, it’s a famous park in Madrid” I answered sitting next to him

“Do you have a dog? Doesn’t seem like it”

“That’s another question and I do, it’s name is Coco and it’s a Golden Retriever” I smiled “My turn... mmm...best thing since you get into F1″

Meeting you was what Lando wanted to say “Be Carlos teammate”

“Funny, we could be a better duo. Charlos is superior”

“Don’t you dare” he started tickling my ribs, we laugh for a while and when when we recover our normal breathing I continued with the questions

“Biggest fear?”

“Being late” I saw confusion on his face “We are one of the 20 fastest people on the planet but late so say I love or say goodbyes. I’m pretty bad at goodbyes”

“I’m not good either, maybe we can remind each other, so no goodbyes, just see you later, like see you at the end”

“Agree, nothing like a free assistant. So, how do you see yourself after F1?” I show a tilted smile

“Married, with kids hopefully, big backyard, a calm life, I don’t know. I guess that’s what almost everybody wanted. You?”

“I would like to have kids and tell them that their mom is a world champion, Just to make their friends jealous” I let out a sigh “And be with someone that anywhere we go, we’ll feel that we are each others home, like a jigsaw piece”

“Feel what it means to be complete...”

“I guess... be loved as much as my dad still loves my mom. He still sings her favourite songs every valentine’s day or birthday”

“Remember any of those songs?” He asked

“Yeah, I’m not a good singer but he’s always like: I close my eyes and I see your face when I'm alone I long for your embrace and I've tried to find you many times but you have faded my eyes cos' you are you are you are one of a kind Find that missing part the part that completes my heart”

“He’s in love” I nod “Someone special will come, you’re an incredible driver and woman, so, be pacient. Every love is different, one’s just prepare you for something more real, all I know is that you’ll find your missing jigsaw piece too” He said as he grabed my hand and squeezed a bit. Why am I feeling butterflies?

“Thanks Lando, now I know why you’re Carlos favourite”

“It’s all about my looks, don’t be fooled” We laugh and keep making questions until he had to go to his room to rest.

28/07/2022

HUNGARY GP @10:40

“Netflix, guys, you’re so lovely” It’s not too early in the morning, I came early to my motorhome to continue sleeping and just be ready for interviewes at 11. Well, here I am.

“Where is your phone Charlotte?”

“In my pocket, why?” I said raising an eyebrow

“Did you know that Sebastian Vettel has instagram?” I laugh.

I almost forget it. After the Saudi Arabia GP y spend my flight back to UK with Sebastian, while I was asking for advice for future races, he just asked me to help him create an instagram account for an special video. I guess that retirement is really special. I was shocked and almost cried but he is so confident about his decision and nobody has the right to judge him, it’s not easy to be chasing you dream without the ones you love.

“I know, he’ll announcing his retirement at the end of the season”

“You don’t seem surprised”

“I already knew, I am sad, he’s been so important for the sport, he’ll be missed but at the same time I’m happy to spend his last season with him. When I see he around, I ask for advice, he’s a world champion after all”

“I like how you think” he write something on a paper “So far, your rookie season has been incredible, do you see yourself winning the championship?”

“I don’t want to say yes but we have to wait, everything is so umpredictable. But I hope so, that will be a great present for my mom”

“Oh...she’s proud, yes” I saw a tear falling for his eyes “Sorry”

“Don’t worry, I love to talk about her, she’s with me all the time”

31/07/2022

HUNGARY GP @14:00

“Radio check”

“Hello? It’s me”

“I know Charlotte, I’m your engineer”

“You used to be funny, be ready, If I get on P1 I’m gonna spray the whole bottle on champagne on your face”

He laughs “Get ready for the formation lap. 15 seconds”

“Welcome to the Hungarian GP, a very interesting front row with our rookie Charlotte Robyn-Jones and the seventh time world champion, Lewis Hamilton. Then both Red Bulls, Alex Albon, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Fernando Alonso, Lando Norris, Carlos Sainz, Sebastian Vettel, Valteri Bottas, George Russell, Yuki Tsunoda, Daniel Ricciardo, Mick Schumacher, Kevin Magnussen, Lance Stroll, Esteban Ocon and Zhou Guanyu”

“Last race before summer vacation and then going back to the other half of the season to define the 2022 world champion. With heighest expectations for the rookie of Williams racing or the raining champion Max Verstappen, with just a few seconds for this race and it’s lights out and away we go”

With 57 of the 70 laps for this race and two safety cars later due colisions that make my teammate out of the race with Ocon, Checo and Stroll. I keep my position in P1 with Max not to far from me, but as the time passed I was getting a bit tired so I was pushing as much as ever to finish as quickly as ever.

“Verstappen 1.3 seconds behind”

“Copy. I think something happen to my water bag, at lap 41 it was empty”

“We have to check at the end of the race. Sorry Charlotte”

“Ok, at least I don't feel like going to the bathroom”

At lap 66 I saw how Max was a bit closer to me, considering that we pitted at the same time, he chasing for the cheese, aka me, was on.

“Charlotte, time to push, give them hell”

“Oh wow, new version of hammer time?”

“Don’t get me started kid”

“And the rookie do it again, what a reace. Charlotte Robyn-Jones in a very dominant Williams is a Gran Prix winner. What a season for her and her team. We see the gap she created with Verstappen, wow, only 0.09 seconds behind her and then Lewis Hamilton. We have to wait to the Belgium GP to see how the teams improve their cars ‘cause as far as I see, this is Williams year”

“Get ready Adam! You’re going to sleep with the essense of champions tonight!”

“Congrats Charlotte, what a race!” Multiple people cheering can be heard over the radio, all the members of the team happy as she get through the chekered flag.

“Love you team! This is for Alex too, this is our year!”

I parked my car in front of the number 1 sign, I unbuckle the belts and get of the car, Max and Lewis give fist bumps, then I run to hug the members of the team. A very happy Carlos pat my back and said well done girasol. Lando, who just get off his car, run to me and hug me and we helped each other with our helmets, as I took off my balaclava, I dedicated him a winked

“Do you like the view of my rear wing?”

“I preffer the view I saw everytime you smile in the podium” For a moment I feel out of breath, he is the one.

We smile at each other

“Hope to share it with you, to enjoy the same view” I cannot hear his answer ‘cause Ava pull my arm to do the interview before the podium celebrations so I waved to him. What’s this feeling?

LATER WITH NETFLIX

“Do you have any conversations for next year? Your team principal said that Williams isn’t going to offer you another contract even if you win the championship. You have multiple options, Ricciardo, Gasly and Vettel’s seat”

“That’s a secret for Abu Dabi, too much gossip is not healthy guys”

“So...anything to say?”

“Want a hint?”

“Yes, please” I smiled looking to the camera

“Enchanté”

Hi! Thanks for the support on this story/series. English it’s not my first language but I try my best, anyway, enjoy, I got inspired and If you have requests for any driver, I’m open to them. I’m still organizing this story considering that I’m going full mode with Lando and trying to put together the main topic of this <<<something so sad>>>, as I said, enjoy and have a nice day/night :)

Taglist: @evans-dejong @omgsuperstarg @bibissparkles @hoely-maria @mochimommy2002 @noope306 @eugene-emt-roe @80sloverry @rens-daylight

intro

part one

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doberbutts · 10 months

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The real tragedy of lateral violence is we’re each other’s best advocates. Like I’m only mildly disabled but having to fight for basic accommodations has made me positively rabid about accessibility. Most people in my field don’t even use color blind safe palettes and meanwhile I’ve spent literal hours researching headings, alt text, ARIA tags, keyboard navigation, etc etc. Like I’m still learning to code and haven’t reached full WCAG compliance but at least I’m trying.

No that's it exactly.

It's only recently that my father has mobility needs- he's 70 so it was bound to happen eventually but he's also been deaf since he was 6. He can get in the door just fine but actually being able to use the services is another thing entirely. Then of course you add the intersection of him being a tall, broad black man with a big booming voice, no volume control, slurring and mispronouncing words, and unable/"unwilling" to follow commands and this goes from being inaccessible to outright hostile if he's mistaken for being drunk or high in public as a result of simply being deaf.

Now that he is getting older he also has had a double hip replacement and fell and broke the part of his pelvis that's still bone so he has a lot more trouble getting around. So take that description I just wrote and add "stumbling, halting, unnatural gait" and "sways in place when standing still".

We need to advocate for each other because at a moment's notice we can be in each other's shoes. We need to advocate for each other because for some of us this is life or death. We need to advocate for each other because we are always, always stronger together.

It's funny you should mention your field- I assume web/interface design/programming? That was my original career path before I switched tracks due to hating my clientele. Back in 2009 when I was still going to school for it, my professer was very strict about accessibility standards, requiring every single one of our projects to be up to the level suggested by W3C at the time. So in 2018 when the figurative whip was cracked and websites *had* to change, and all these companies whined and moaned about it, I had zero sympathy. Sorry but this had been suggested standard for nearly a decade so you can't say you didn't know your websites weren't accessible. There were even free engines you could run your source code through to make sure it would pass. Your website needs a complete overhaul and you're a company that's been around since at least 2009? Sounds like a you problem.

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sionisjaune · 2 years

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journalist lewis au (seb/lewis)

There's a new journalist in the press room. He raises his pen elegantly and waits for Tom Clarkson to call on him, and when it's his turn to speak, he announces his name but not who he's working for.

"For Sebastian," he says. "Are you aware that a one hour trip in a private jet accounts for two tonnes of carbon dioxide emissions? That's anywhere from five to fourteen times more pollution per passenger than flying commercial."

Seb is comfortable behind the drivers' podium, half-drunk on champagne and victory. He leans into the microphone.

"Ah, but you haven't seen my jet," he says. "There is free alcohol and if you ask nicely a very comfortable bed in the back."

"What's free if the cost is the air our children breathe?" the journalist says.

Seb fiddles with the damp collar of his racesuit. His skin is sticky underneath. He says, "I don't have children. Still in free practice." Everyone laughs.

"Who was that guy?" Seb jokes with Britta over dinner, a platter of pasta between them and the remains of a charcuterie board strewn to the side. He had a funny look--a torn-up denim jacket and a thick diamond stud in each ear, shoes that belong on a basketball court rather than the bland carpet in the press room.

Later, nearly passed out in his hotel room, Seb receives a link to a Wikipedia article from Britta.

Lewis Hamilton, twenty-six and hailing from Stevenage, a town Seb has never heard of, is a Pulitzer winning journalist.

Seb almost laughs, between the white walls of his hotel room. Journalism must really be dead if Hamilton is slumming it trackside. You can sell silly season rumours for petty cash, but there's nothing to bust wide open. If Hamilton is chasing a prize-winning story, he won't find it at a Grand Prix.

The next race, Hamilton is absent. Seb inquires about it later, and nobody knows because nobody cares. He takes the question to Britta, and she uses her superior intellect to furnish Seb with an answer. Lewis Hamilton has been banned from all Formula 1 media activities because he asks impertinent questions.

Hey. I got your number from a source I'd rather not reveal, but I was hoping you could help me get into the press conference Thursday.

A text from an unknown number floats to the top of Seb's notifications.

It's Lewis Hamilton by the way.

Seb texts back. Britta's going to have his balls.

I'll see what I can do.

It's years later. Domenicali hates Lewis, but Seb sneaks him into the paddock every weekend. Lewis wanders between the garages taking down names and politely requesting interviews.

Lewis is a deceptively vicious reporter. There's no off the record with him—his mind is a tape recorder, and he never forgets an incriminating detail.

Seb knows he’s working on something big. It’s terrifying.

They're in Seb's room, a glittery suite that overlooks the Marina Bay Ferris wheel, and Seb has to ask. He has to, because Lewis won't say anything, but he's been intimating that he has the kind of story that could raze the earth and topple grand, old institutions.

"If you love racing," Seb says, "then why do you attack it?" He doesn't say: I would give this rotten sport anything, no matter how morally compromising. He doesn't say: This is my life.

"Look at me," Lewis says. Seb does. Lewis is sitting on the edge of Seb's bed, and gentle, spidery crow's feet sprout from the corners of his eyes. "Do you think I ever had a shot to make it here? Did you know I was the fastest kid by a tenth at any track, and there wasn't a single manager who ever spoke to me and my dad?"

"It's hard," Seb says. "For myself, it was hard. If Michael hadn't championed me--"

"No," Lewis says, firmly. "I need you to understand that there wasn't a chance. Not for me, and not for the other kids like me, watching Senna race on TV and desperately wanting to be him. I'm doing this for those kids, Seb. You ever wonder why half the guys on the grid are so fucking accident-prone? It's because talent is only half of it. It's money and politics and brand recognition." Lewis is breathing hard. Seb drinks in the fervour bubbling out of Lewis like he's starving for it. "I'm going to tear this whole thing down and plaster the truth on every cover in New York."

Seb can't take it anymore. His body falls towards Lewis, and the kiss is messy, unplanned and unanticipated. Lewis pulls back wetly.

"That was inappropriate," Lewis says. He slides off the bed and collects his coat from the back of the chair. The braids that Lewis habitually tucks behind his ears have fallen forwards over his cheeks. He tucks them neatly again, and his hand hovers over the door handle.

"I thought you respected me more than that," Lewis says, all clipped English syllables. "Call my assistant if you have something I can use."

#sewis #i wrote this #straight outta the notes app😎😎

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congregamus · 2 months

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The book I'm reading about the "dark eros" of the forbidden literature of the Marquis de Sade is very worrying, because there is much mirror here. We do not treat the material at all similarly, but we are both obsessed with a kind of cartography of the fringes of the soul. I have not read the source materials, but the excerpts of prima materia within the body of the analytical text read as very on-brand for me (at least in the sense that I know exactly what he's trying to accomplish, and if I were trying to do that, I would probably go about it in exactly the same way).

It's so funny that the author of this book, who speaks fluent "myth" claims that all of this is the purview of Saturn (the planet-god). I do not disagree. But I had not considered it. It's funny I guess only in the sense that even though I consistently transcend my own limits, Saturn is ever there to stand ground and say, "Uh uh uh, you are doing very impressive symbolic acrobatics, but I am not a symbol, which you will learn soon enough when I come to you in my aspect as Death."

NB: It seems to me that lots of people don't know that "God the Father" and Saturn-Kronos are the same "person." I know that they are not, but if you're even a little distracted they are very easy to confuse for each other, even among folks who know them both well. Like Bacchus and Orpheus and Jesus are triplets if you're a little drunk, or just squint.

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sga-owns-my-soul · 7 months

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For the ask game A, C, F, H, U

ooh good ones! this one got a little long lmao whoops 😂

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

i'm obsessed with a mcshep queer platonic relationship (aroace!john and bisexual!rodney for the win tbh) and a ship i've been thinking about a LOT lately is ronon and woolsey idk why i just. idk that scene in the prodigal at the end where ronon is like 'i know it's not a mission but i made a report' and woolsey laughs at 'michael tried to invade the city. we stopped him. end report' BABES THEYRE SO CUTE

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

john/teyla. i just. i can't. the ONLY time i like it is ot4

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

19 years and counting babey!!!! i've been watching stargate since it came out (i was 6 years old!) and i've been a fan of it since i saw the first episode. fun fact i had a little "club house" in a small storage room in our basement when i was a kid and i PLASTERED the walls with art and posters that said "I LOVE _______" with all of the sga characters when i was like 7? 8? something like that?

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

i've been in fandoms for lots of different things but i think my favourite is probably tv shows/movies. i just love me some good cinema

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

absolute all time fav blorbo of forever is Doctor Rodney McKay PhD PhD he always has been he always will be forever and always he owns my heart. i love everything about him- he's smart, he's canadian, he's arrogant, he's hot, he's funny, he's competent, he's an asshole, he's selfless and heroic, he's literally everything. i'm actually genuinely in love with him i would give up my entire life if he asked me to zero hesitation no questions asked

i know it says three different fandoms but i'm also going with john sheppard even tho it's the same fandom bc those two are just so far above the rest in terms of being my fav characters that i can't not include him. john is a disaster human and i love him. i'm like, 95% sure my obsession with putting my friends first and making sure they're happy and comfortable (even at the detriment to my own happiness and comfort) above all else is because of john sheppard. he's selfless, he's reckless, he's charming, he's funny, he's smart, he's hot, he's perfect he's everything i'm obsessed.

and then last i'm gonna go with nick miller from new girl bc (no surprise) i have a Thing for grabage broken men. i fell in LOVE with nick when i was watching new girl for the first time he's such a fucking disaster he's a middle aged drunk who doesn't know what he's doing with his life for half the show and he's so FUCKING HOT IM OBSESSED god i just hnnnnng ugh he's everything honestly i love me a scruffy middle aged garbage man so good always

#thank you!!! these are so fun #i love ask games #always a good time #a good questions!!!#i love any excuse i get to talk about john and rodney so thank you #ask game #sga

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webslingingslasher · 3 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/webslingingslasher/739224380667772928/hi-j-can-i-talk-ab-smth-thats-making-me-sad?source=share

thank you🫶🏻. i read this reply earlier and it made me cry bc you’re the only one who actually cares. thanks for letting me talk. also this is long and i’m v sorry but i just wanted to share w someone. part of it gets deep but i swear u don’t have to reply to that part, i fr just wanna make one point ab guys fighting

i hate violence so much. the jokes ab men punching walls don’t make me laugh and men beating the shit out of other guys to protect their girl isn’t attractive to me. i just hate all of it

it used to be funny and attractive until it wasn’t. my dad was so mad at me yesterday bc he was drunk and i wouldn’t give him more alc, that he punched a wall. i took a pic of the hole in my bedroom door and sent it my friends in our gc and we were laughing so hard at it bc white men and punching walls yk? It was so funny and we kept making jokes/memes ab it til i realised he punched the wall bc he couldn’t punch me (i closed my door and he couldn’t get in) and that’s a weird fucking realisation.

i just don’t like any of it and i’m having a v bad day. i told my mum and brother and nobody gets it. they both blame me. it’s ridiculous. and now i’m convincing myself that i DID do something wrong, when i know i didnt. it’s fucking crazy. he could beat the shit out of me (he wouldn’t) and they’d still find a way to make it my fault.

im gna send u my mums response (english is her 3rd language so ignore the mistakes) and she’s literally blaming me.

for context, my dad has a history of abuse (against my mum, yet she still defends him) and my mum is just as bad.

this is what she texted me:

“Ppl have limitations. If you push them they do things or say things and you turn and call names to those can’t bare any more. You should be a bit more patient and a bit more respectful to your parents

You shouldn’t keep shouting at him. We’re both doing our best even we are not the best I know, but as a return I thing we deserve to be respected , if you are better than us then you should understand what I am saying”

i just feel so alone. i stg it’s like no one understands.

anyways long story short i don’t like violence and i don’t find it attractive. i don’t shame anyone / any girls bc i’m a girls girl at heart, but i hate how people have romanticised violence bc it really does send the wrong message to guys and younger boys growing up and hearing “fights are so hot” and “it’s so sexy when guys beat the shit out of other guys” even if they deserved it. like even tho they wouldn’t do that to you, the reminder that they can makes me sick. i just don’t like it and i feel like i’m the only one :/ violence just makes me icky and anxious and scared even if it’s not directed to me/supposed to “protect me” (when it’s at another guy at a bar or whatever).

thanks for listening to my rant. ur legit my bestie. i have an anon emoji & we’re mutuals/we talk on here like all the time but i don’t wanna use it on this

ily

i don’t think you’re wrong for having this opinion or have it belong in an unpopular opinion category. i think the issue is that violence (esp w. men) has been so desensitized that it’s “normal.”

i also don’t like violence and grew up with an angry man in my home. i will never be an angry man and i will never be with one for that reason. but when i read something fictional i feel like im taking control back (? if that makes sense.) because i can “control” the violence.

your dad was wrong, and it was wrong of your mom to try and protect him. you deserve to feel safe and i’m sorry you don’t. i’m here always <3

#thanks anon!

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simmeons · 1 year

Text

have some goofy ahh text post😈😈😈once again credit to me and some pals for this content🥹🥹word for word...all us!!!!❤️❤️❤️we r so funny but yea stuck true to the source material like always

-------------------------------

Scotty: no please McCoy don't stop it's so sexy when you leak people's ip

Uhura: HEY HEY ill leak yours Scotty >:(

Scotty: i'll do it for you >:[

Uhura: >:((

Scotty: i live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane-

Bones: the mods r fighting!!!!!! guys...!! this isn't you...!!!!!

Scotty: and i am Simon Pegg-

Uhura: HELP????

-------------------------------

Bones: literally me

Christine: mummy please read me a bedtime story!!

-------------------------------

Scotty: i enjoy a few songs and i just get so pissed remembering what he said like "separate the art from the artist" oh i am well aware but god damn Kanye man what the hell

Spock: you used to call me on my cellphone

Kirk: i know when that hotline ring

Spock: but yeah that's really messed up

Scotty: THAT'S DRAKE SPOCK

Spock:

-------------------------------

Christine: me and *insert random dudes name* when we see each other<33

Bones: hope he moves to Uruguay and you can never see him again.

-------------------------------

Kirk, drunk: IT'S A LEMON PASRYYA THATS A YFICKUNG BAR

Spock: tf is a pasrya

Kirk: PSTATRY

Bones: take ur time!!!

Kirk: PASTRY- PASTRY

Spock: oh!

-------------------------------

(talking about Spock)

Kirk: he's so meow meow baby girl

Bones: sure *eye roll*

Kirk: giggles and kicking feet and screams and flips over several times on bed while still giggling and kicking

Bones: 🤨

-------------------------------

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek aos #james t kirk #spock #leonard mccoy #montgomery scott #nyota uhura #christine chapel #spirk #scones

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bonvoyagenoona · 2 years

Note

the simple ‘Eomma’ is so joonie 😂 and ‘MAAAA’ is so jinnie too 😂

and ‘Seokjinnie’ ‘Namjoonie’ ‘Tae-Tae’ 💗💓💕

MR. KIM IS SO FUNNY ‘YOBO’ ‘SEOJKIN’ ‘NAMJON’ ‘TAEHUNG’ 😭 WHY DO DADS ALWAYS COMPLAIN ABOUT THE KEYBOARD BEING TOO SMALL FOR THEIR BIG THUMBS 😭

but what is mr. kim saved as in mrs. kim’s phone? ‘Yeobo’, i assume?

Lol here's a sneak peek at their weekly texts:

YOBO (2:46 pm): Red snapper, green beans, flour, nutmeg, 3 big lemons, fabric softener, the one in the light blue container and the pink top

YOBO (3:22 pm): Granulated sugar for coffee, powdered sugar for the waffles I want to make for the boys when they come

YOBO (3:22 pm): THEY'RE NOT THE SAME THING

Yeobo (3:23 pm): 👍🏽

YOBO (12:06 pm): I just tried to call. The car is making a weird noise?

Yeobo (1:17 pm): <open link>

YOBO (1:18 pm): OMG!

Yeobo (1:18 pm): I would fight a bobcat for you!

YOBO (1:19 pm): Did you get drunk playing golf at the club again?

Yeobo (1:19 pm): Yeah but I would still fight a bobcat for you

image sources: sumberita, istock

Read A Map of Mrs. Kims / AMOMK here!

#asks #your asks #amomk #a map of mrs. kims #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #namjoon #seokjin #jin #taehyung #namjoon fanfiction #jin fanfiction #taehyung fanfiction #seokjin fanfiction #anon #bongseon x jihu

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oogaboogaspookyman · 2 years

Text

(intro thingy again)

Mewtwo: what's something that would scare off a burglar?

Adam: nekkid grandma!

Mewtwo: NAKED HUH???

✨Incorrect Quotes from the fam✨

Adam got drunk.

Adam: all i asked was for a fair day's pay after a fair day's work, and he- kinda got a little angry so- i admit... I kinda got a little angry.

Mewtwo: did you kill him?

Adam: ... What kinda fuckin' animal do you take me for no i didn't kill him!

Mewtwo: aww fuck... *Reliefed*

Adam: but i did kidnap his wife! :D

Mewtwo: OHHH NO-

Mewtwo: there's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Mew: i photosynthethize with this.

Adam: i'm sorry, please talk to me...

Mewtwo:

Adam: hello? World's most amazing person? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?

Mewtwo: "sorry" doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Teen Aliza: sometimes, i don't realize an event was traumatic until i tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Adam: i typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway!

Adam's ex-gf:

Adam: vroom vroom, come out already!

Mew: the energy in the room was pulpable.

Celeste: ... Was what?

Mew: y'know, like orange juice.

Mewtwo: MEMORY.

MEMORY: Twoey ^v^

Mewtwo: half of me wants to strangle you.

MEMORY: what does the other half want?

Mewtwo: to hit you with a truck.

Adam: my life isn't as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look...

(@xxtc-96xx )

Mewtwo, with a big ouchie in the gut caused by Newtwo: being smart has never stopped me from being a complete freaking idiot.

Alex, texting Adam: get bell soon.

Alex: wet*

Alex: wep*

Alex: forget it.

Alex: brother you can just die.

MEMORY at Adam: can i offer you a knife in these trying times?

MEMORY: to the chest, preferably the heart, sometimes the eye.

Mew: just so you know, it's very muggy outside.

Adam: i swear if i see all our mugs outside-

Mew is sipping from a bowl.

Adam is playing My Friendly Neighbourhood and is solving the punch card puzzle. (Source: Eddie, Youtube)

Adam: yes, i found the square pizza! Square pizza achieved-

Random puppet falls off the roof.

Adam: AAAAA!!!

Adam, continously shooting at the fallen puppet: ... N FOR "MY NIPPLES JUST GOT HARD", O FOR "OH SHIT", P FOR "PINCHE MADRE", Q FOR "QUIT FUCKING DOING THAT SHIT", R FOR "RRRREPUTA MADRE"

Adam: that just scared the absolute shhhit outta me.

Mary: gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss- what's the other one?

Adam: there isn't another one, you're crazy.

You either buy a room or GET OUT!

I thought this was the Clown Motel but a couple of CLOWNS just walked through my door!

Adam: yo what did you say to me, fool? Imma go full mexican on your bitch-ass!

Adam: más te vale que nos des un pinche cuarto ahorita te- aca te tumbo los pinches ojos wey!

Someone tell me what he's saying!

Mary is cracking up.

What the FUCK is he saying?! I don't speak TACO BELL!

Mewtwo: wHEEZE-

(@the-hydroxian-artblog )

Mary: okay, now for the next step of the recipe-

Mew drops a whole box of soup.

Mary: Ms. Mew why did-

Mew: s a v e u r.

Mary: ... Impressive technique!

(same guy that made the "saveur" comic)

Teen Aliza, trying to rap: penis serious, penis delirious, go into the woods, call that penis mysterious.

Teen Aliza: penis various, penis h i l a r i o u s, dawn of the age of the penis aquarius.

Teen Aliza: penis ponticulous, penis meticulous, wearing my clown shoes i'm penis ridiculous.

(@dewwydarts and @pmseymourva for the original thing)

SketchTwo: finally, Safe For Work Tits...

SmileTwo: isn't that kinda your thing?

SketchTwo: ... LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT.

Celeste is petting Mewtwo on the head, mon's as relaxed as the common cat, she's cracking up because the big man himself is leaning back 'cause of the scratchies.

Suddenly he gets spookt, snaps out of it and gets back up, Celeste loses it.

Mewtwo: Ò//~//Ó

Celeste: you love it, don't you?

Mewtwo: -//~//-

Mew: if snails are slow, why do they appear when you're not looking? Like- you look behind you and then boom! There's a snail.

Mewtwo: snails are only slow when you're watching.

Adam:

(@pmseymourva )

Celeste: i'm currently camping and honestly still confused because idk what the fuck I’m supposed to post here, but idc because Adam will read anything if it’s hot enough garbage.

Adam: guess again.

Mewtwo: you read that with your own eyes in order to make that response, Adam. You may not have recorded that for a video, but you read it in your head, and you acknowledged it for all the world to see. You may think you're pulling a fast one, but you've just done the exact thing you were asked to do. You read the post.

Adam: ... Guess i'm Joe Rye The Clown Guy now.

#pokemon #mewtwo #memory #adam #mary #aliza #celeste #mew #sketchtwo #smiletwo #L0S7S1BL1NG #alex #surprise. Adam has a twin bro!#adam's ex #xxtc 96xx #incorrect quotes

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rippeds0cks · 2 years

Text

5/13/2022

Today was shitty overall. Hadn’t shit in two days before taking these and of course I shit afterwards. Boy do I got a funny story for y’all, it’ll be under the song.

Talk Of The Town - Jack Harlow

Ok so basically my ex girlfriend has this egg sandwich recipe that is my favorite food on the planet. I was drunk last night thinking of it and so I tried looking for where she got it from (a YouTube video). It was not there at all. I searched for hours. That video had been deleted. My exes brain is the last remaining source of the recipe. Simple solution. Ask my ex for the recipe. One issue. I am not and will never be on speaking terms with my ex again. Gotta figure out how the fuck I’m gonna get this recipe cause I NEED IT. Aside from it being my favorite food on the planet. That shit is a bulking hack cause it’s full of protein and carbs so when I start bulking I’m gonna be demolishing those things left n right. So after coming up empty handed on every possible search I had to figure out another way to get the egg sandwich recipe. Then I remember her best friend hit me up approximately 2 weeks after the nuclear ending to me n my ex relationship. The friend and I had previously flirted in middle school (DAMN NEAR SIX YEARS BEFORE THEM TEXTING ME) and they had been infatuated with me since despite us not having a conversation in about 5 years. But they had texted me and I made it very apparent that 1. I do not wanna talk to her because of her relationship with my ex girlfriend who I JUST had a nuclear ending with. And 2. If we are to speak at ALL it is best she didn’t tell my ex cause fucking duh that wouldn’t be cool with my ex. And I didn’t tell her this last one because I’m not one to berate people but it’s generally just an incredibly shitty thing to do to text ur best friends ex boyfriend almost immediately after they had an insane break up. She goes onto tell me about how I’ve been weighing on her mind for the past 5 FUCKING YEARS BECAUSE WE FLIRTED AND WERE CLOSE IN FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL. WE ARE BOTH ADULTS AT THIS POINT IN TIME WHY ARE YOU STILL HUNG UP ON MIDDLE SCHOOL ME. Anyways because of my obligation to help people and her telling me it would relieve a lot of weight off of her shoulders if I just told her everything that happened between us from my perspective, so I did. I gave her a chronological rundown of basically all the events of us in middle school while making it clear I wanted to finish this as fast as humanly possible. But we ended it cordially and so I get the idea that I can ask her to please retrieve the damn recipe from my ex for me. But obviously make it seem like she needed it. Don’t mention me at all. And this would stay between us. Nobody gets hurt, nobody has to interact with anyone they don’t wanna, and everyone leaves in either a positive or neutral emotional and mental standing. So I text her and ask her the favor n she fucking responds with this

YOURE TELLING ME THAT DESPITE ME BLATANTY SAYING “I DO NOT WANNA BE DOING THIS AND IF IS NOT A GOOD FUCKIN IDEA FOR YOU TO EVER SPEAK OF THIS TO MY EX BECAUSE SHE (rightfully) WILL NOT LIKE IT” ALSO ME MENTIONING THAT SHES NOT DOING SO WELL SO IF SHED BE SO KIND ID APPRECIATE IT A LOT IF SHE COULD BE A GOOD FRIEND AND SHOULDER TO CRY ON FOR MY EX YOU WENT AND FUCKING TOLD HER?????????? THERE GOES MY FUCKING EGG SANDWICH RECIPE!!!!! THANKS ASSHOLE!!!!! SO I CALMLY FINISH SPEAKING TO HER BUT OBVIOUSLY IM FUCKIN PISSED THAT WAS A ONE OF A KIND RECIPE AND MY FAVORITE FUCKING FOOD ON PLANET EARTH NOW IM JUST SHIT OUTTA LUCK TIME TO GO FUCK MYSELF. AND SHE HAS THE AUDACITY SHE HAS THE FUCKIN GALL TO SAY “didn’t even give me an explanation or anything just cut me off. And tbh if my company is that disposable to her I don’t even wanna be friends in the first place” WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT? YOU SENT HER EX BOYFRIEND ON N OFF OF LIKE FOUR FUCKING YEARS THAT YOU ARE/WERE INFATUATED WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME THEY WERE TOGETHER AND LIKE TWO FUCKING WEEKS AFTER THEY PERMANENTLY SPLIT AT THAT. YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA BE LIKE “Haha lol that’s okay girlie love uuuuuuuuuu” NO DUMBASS SHE DIDNT TOSS YOU TO THE SIDE LIKE UR DISPOSABLE SHE CUT YOU OFF AFTER YOU DID SOMETHING DESPICABLE. I WOULD HAVE DONE THE EXACT SAME SHIT. NOW MY EX IS EVEN MORE MAD AT ME FOR SURE. NOT THAT IT NECESSARILY MATTERS CAUSE IM NEVER GONNA TALK TO HER AGAIN I JUST DONT LIKE PEOPLE BEING HURT BY ME AND KNOWING MY EX SHE WAS DEFINITELY HURT BY THAT. AND WORST OF ALL, MY FUCKING EGG SAMMY RECIPE IS JUST TRULY LOST TO TIME FOREVER IM NEVER GETTING THAT SHIT BACK. MY FAVORITE FOOD OF ALL TIME GONE FOREVER ONLY TO LIVE ON IN MY MEMORIES. I WANNA SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS IM SO MAD RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT THAT FUCKING RECIPE AND NOW ITS GONE FOREVER JUST COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY UNATTAINABLE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Here was my immediate and delayed reactions that I sent to my best friend tho hope it gives anyone a chuckle. I had to just laugh at the situation cause how fucking dumb it was

#physique #jack harlow #talk of the town #maki zenin #jujutsu kaisen #egg sandwich

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fifthvsixth-blog · 4 months

Text

I am wasted. In full Adam Sandler eating pickles out the jar in public, I don't give a fuck mode. I'm unkept. I'm a little dirty. Like I said, drrrunk. I'm home, people are over. I'm comfy and don't care. When people invite others over, I usually don't care. Don't even bother me to ask. If you can vouch for them, I'm good.

Someone brought over "B". I think his name is Brian, but to me he's "the fray". Can't explain it, but that's how I save his name in my phone. We hang out, I'm a fun drunk. I'm a little louder than usual, but I keep my wits about me pretty well. I like this one. He's cute and funny. I keep touching his arm because it's skinny but strong. He seems skinny but strong, and not in an obtuse way. More like, he's active, uses his body to get shit done. My kinda shit. We hang out. Hard. Talk all night until his friends take him, he's from out of town and has to go.

I'm at an event. This is a nice event, my friends get us in spitting distance of an orchestra. There's infinity pools up around the balconies and the place is illuminated from no particular source. It's gorgeous. We're all looking good. I'm in cute sandals because I usually don't do heels, but the ground is a bit wet so my ass is seated. Sandals do not have traction footing. I'm in awe of the music. I get goosebumps when they start to play. They call for "silence" from this balcony audience.. some of my friends are highly improper and untrained animals. It's embarrassing, but I silently laugh too. The moments pass. I'm in love. I love music, I'm entranced. My friends get up and start to mingle, I'm just watching the conductor and musicians. Suddenly, he's just there. Seated on the grass in front of me, little to the left. I grab my phone and immediately text him. "Are you free after this?" Before I get a response, before I look up from my phone, he says "Well you certainly look a lot different." We start walking around, I'm acting shy. I'm very glad I did my hair and put on my favorite perfume and got my nails done. I like him seeing this side of me. I'm sure it's quite a shock. He's here to shoot the orchestra, but also has to get some pictures taken. He looks at me, he's blushing. He pulls me in to a hug, and I don't let go. My arms are around his neck, I'm tall but it's still a stretch. Now I'm in this hug for too long, and it's awkward if I don't make a move. I pull my face back just enough to kiss him. He pulls me so tight into him that we crash a bit into the wall behind him. When we finally let go, it's bliss. It also just feels normal. Like we had always kissed. I go to start walking down the steps but my slippery sandals betray me. He grabs me by the waist before I fall. I turn and smile at him, but he says "Don't smile at me like that until we're both on solid ground please".

#my dreams #thefray #fantasy

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cabbybaby · 8 months

Text

on guilt, on grief

it's fitting it would rain after such a long heatwave on the anniversary of your death. has it really been nine years? it's almost been a decade, but you are still my beloved friend. i've been thinking about you lately, about death, about guilt and forgiveness, about remembrance.

i'll never forget the day i found out you died. i was about to get my license renewed, sitting on an uncomfortable chair waiting for my name to be called. the phone call didn't feel real. you being gone didn't feel real. like a ghost i answered when called, and i stared at the camera numb and shocked and desolate. for years i carried around a license imprinted with that face i made, forever reminded of how i looked when i learned i lost you. sometimes i'd look at it and laugh at the absurdity of it. sometimes i couldn't bear to pull it out of my wallet. sometimes i handed it to the bartender or a liquor store cashier and felt nothing at all.

i used to feel so guilty. the last time we talked, i was drunk. i was always drunk, and i was in the middle of a two-week-long bender, drifting from party to party along the coast. you called me at two in the morning, and i picked up. i still wonder sometimes. why did you call me? what did we talk about? did you need something, did you just miss me, did i tell you i loved you and couldn't wait to see you again? i'll never know. i was too drunk to remember, and i was too hungover or drunk in the days that followed to text you to ask. i learned you died on the day i had to be sober, but i wasn't sober very much after that.

so every time i drank, every time i got out of rehab and found myself in a bar again, i'd hand over my license and try to drown out the guilt by drinking the source of it. it got worse, i hit rock bottom, i resented the ivs and tubes that kept me alive but couldn't save you, it never made sense. i couldn't imagine feeling right again. i couldn't imagine living at all.

well, it's been years, my friend, and i'm doing better. i'm sober and happy. i've made amends and no longer feel guilty. every sobriety anniversary, your mother tells me how proud you'd be of me, and i believe her. i have a new license. i don't apologize to you when i stare up at the ceiling and think of you. i just miss you. i think of all the good times. i remember the day you helped me buy a bicycle, the music we listened to when we brought it back to our apartment, i remember chasing after you on that bicycle as we went on adventures throughout the city. i remember you playing guitar for me when i was sad. i remember the night i got too drunk and you drove me to the hospital in a snowstorm, and i remember how you so tenderly carried me inside. i remember your laugh. i remember your love. i remember you.

i used to think it was a curse to never "get over" you, to be haunted forever by someone i so terribly lost. but when i remember something funny you once said and throw my head back in laughter, it never feels like punishment. it feels like love.

#just needed to get this out of my head #grief #tw alcoholism #mourning #personal #i have been incorporating a lot of this into my fic writing lately without even realizing it #and it feels good to know how much i have healed #and that my friend lives on in so many ways #miss you love you

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