The Doctor: Before you say anything, I’d like to remind you that I am wearing the Demon Crown.
3 notes · View notes
[Alfred is dressing his wounds]
Alfred: Some of this isn't blood. It's lipstick. Were you in a fight or were you having sex?
Bruce: The two aren't mutually exclusive.
258 notes · View notes
[searching a crime scene]
Jason: Venom no doubt. This time delivered straight from the fangs of the deadly coastal taipan.
Dick: How can you tell?
Jason: There's one right behind your foot.
Dick: [freezing] What do I do?
Jason: [pulling his phone from his pocket] I'm going to look that up. I'd start with don't get bitten.
253 notes · View notes
Rachel: How did you know all of that?
Dick: I was bitten by a radioactive detective.
340 notes · View notes
Villager: Before you say anything, I’d like to remind you that I’m holding an axe.
73 notes · View notes
Snow: Before you say anything, I’d like to remind you that I’m holding an axe.
23 notes · View notes
Ferb: Before you say anything, I’d like to remind you that I’m holding an axe.
137 notes · View notes
Tim: Do you have any idea what it's like to live with a man who constantly thinks he's the best?
Steph: Mm. Must be irritating.
157 notes · View notes
Steph: [pointing at the police scanners] You've been glued to these for the last few days.
Tim: Slow week, at least in regards to murder and mayhem. Patrols haven't turned up anything.
Steph: Maybe some lunatic will throw his mother-in-law in the wood chipper, give you something to do today.
Tim: Fingers crossed
242 notes · View notes
Dick: Any luck?
Damian: Luck is an offensive, abhorrent concept. The idea that there is a force in the universe tilting events in your favor or against it is ridiculous.
Dick: So that'd be a no.
219 notes · View notes
Shuu: Before you say anything, I’d like to remind you that I’m holding a cleaver.
11 notes · View notes
Harry: You're being a snob.
Draco: Someone has to be.
31 notes · View notes
Linux distributions that brings you the look of the macOS system with all icons and themes you need as a user.
Dolly: You’re being a snob.
Clarissa: Someone has to be.
5 notes · View notes
Shinsou: Regarding those detentions, Sensei, I’d say you should be rewarding us instead. We’ve just exposed some gaping flaws in the school’s security system.
34 notes · View notes
Doorlock Holmes (Daffy Duck): How was your date?
Dr. Watkins (Porky Pig): Goo-g-goo-goo-fine. I th-think maybe she lied to me. It was the end of the n-n-night and we were talking about whether or not we've been m-m-married and when she said she hadn't, and this isn't something I would have n-n-noticed before I started working with you, but I could swear she wasn't telling the t-t-t-truth.
Holmes: Flexing our deductive muthscles are we, I could burthst with pride!
Dan: I’m sorry I accused you of arson.
Maze: Well, I was the obvious suspect.
66 notes · View notes
Regarding those detentions, sir, I’d say you should be rewarding us instead. We’ve just exposed some gaping flaws in the school’s security system.
13 notes · View notes
Chloe: We're partners.
Lucifer: No, we're much better than that. We're two people who love each other. We always have been.
85 notes · View notes
Chloe: You’re being a snob.
Lucifer: Someone has to be.
72 notes · View notes