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#source: brooklyn nine nine
xiofcrows · 22 minutes ago
Kaz: How would you describe yourself?
Jesper: Verbally, but I've also prepared an interpretive dance number
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incorrect-cott-quotes · 7 hours ago
Herry: you look like the corpse we just pulled out the river!
Niel: wrong, I look like a cool rockstar who OD'd in his own pool
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Alice: Help me!
Ryan: I'm not helping you.
Alice: Why not? Is this because I left to find Ocean?
Ryan: Yes. It was our last interaction.
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Buford: Look, Baljeet, I'm not gonna waste your time with some lame excuse about why we left you behind, all right? Just the truth.
Buford: Isabella and I were taken hostage by an Armenian biker gang and thrown on a cargo ship heading to Asia, but we're back now. Don't worry about it.
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 10 hours ago
Mike: So, Willy, I have some news.
Wonka: What happened?
Mike: Well, remember when you told me not to burn the factory down?
Wonka: You burned down the factory?!
Mike: No, I had the fire put out almost immediately. This is a success story!
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incorrect-catcf-quotes · 10 hours ago
Violet: It’s just like chess! Sometimes, to win, you have to sacrifice your king.
Mike: That’s exactly how you lose.
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incorrect-wow-quotes1 · 11 hours ago
Jaina: I am offended, I am angry, I am very tired so I’m gonna take a nap but when I wake up, oh, you are in for it!
*Four Hours Later*
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incorrect-dungeonbreaker · 12 hours ago
Morbos, genuinely concerned: Are you doing okay? Are you scared?
Fizz: I’m scared you won’t let me make a flamethrower and use it to throw flame.
Morbos: You’re right, I will not let you do that.
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incorrect-dungeonbreaker · 12 hours ago
Morbos: Farid, please keep an eye on the birdman today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.
Farid: Sure, I’d love to see Fizz get punched.
Morbos: Try again.
Farid, rolling his eyes: I will stop Fizz from getting punched.
Morbos: Correct.
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incorrectducktales17 · 15 hours ago
Violet: Well, when I was a kid, I invented a magnetic flashlight clip so I could read under the covers. This clip and I went all around the world together the Shire, Sweet Valley High, Terabithia.
Lena: But never to a friend's house, huh?
Violet: Uncalled for.
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Amae: You're afraid I might tell everyone you like to be little spoon when we cuddle?
Elida: Everyone likes to be the little spoon! It makes you feel safe!
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incorrectgamora · 15 hours ago
*reuniting after a long time apart*
Gamora: I’ve missed you. I just want us to be back to normal.
Peter: Me too. *goes to kiss her* Let’s just hope you’re still a better kisser than Rocket.
Gamora: What?
Peter: Why did I say that?
Gamora: Why did you kiss Rocket?!
Peter: We got arrested and we had to do it to get out of jail, but it didn’t mean anything! Just forget I said anything, alright?
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infinitesimal-inferno · 17 hours ago
Roman: Patton and Logan haven't seen each other because of the night shift. They just need to bone.
Virgil: What? Gross, Roman! Those are our dads!
Roman: ...
Virgil: I mean, that's not what I think. Captain Dad is just my boss.
Roman: Wow.
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incorrectbuttonhouse · 18 hours ago
Mike: So, Alison, I have some news.
Alison: What happened?
Mike: Well, remember when you told me not to burn the house down?
Alison: You burned down the house?!
Mike: No, I had the fire put out almost immediately. This is a success story!
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Sara: Can you keep a secret?
Sou: Do you know anything at all about my life?
Sara: No I do not. Good point.
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alyssaslahey · 23 hours ago
Stiles: Scott, you're in charge. Take Kira and Isaac.
Scott: Yes! My fantasy threesome!
Everyone: *cricket silence*
Scott: ...Of people to work with.
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Olivia : Alice can I talk to you for a second?
Alice : yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and James are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Olivia : what? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books
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