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#source: brooklyn 99
tf2-but-incorrect · 4 hours ago
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Demo: I didn't think you were gonna be so early.
Spy: We arrived at the agreed-upon time.
Demo: Right. So, like, super early.
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Bultar: This could be very dangerous. So please, take some time-
Agen: No need, I'm in! Eyes closed, head first, can't lose!
Sha: I don't think that's the expression.
Agen: Can you just let me have this?
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incorrectwentworth · 10 hours ago
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Jake: When have I not acted professionally?!
Will: You're drinking coffee out of a juice box.
Jake: It keeps me from spilling my coffee!!
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the-worm-has-turned · 12 hours ago
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season 1
Anyone: But what's his body like on a scale of Molesley to Barrow?
Molesley: Sorry buddy
Barrow: What??? I'm the ten!!
Molesley: Sure you are Thomas
Molesley: Sure you are
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Steve: You’re doing it wrong
Billy: I’m not taking advice from you! You pronounce the ’g’ in ’lasagna’
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Leo: Look, let’s just agree to say “I’m sorry” on the count of three. One. Two. Three.
Leo and Raph: …
Leo: See, now I’m just disappointed in both of us.
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totallycorrectlovquotes · 23 hours ago
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Twice: So, I’m going to grab a healthy breakfast.
Shigaraki: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
Twice: Breakfast burrito, but yeah.
Shigaraki: I pity your dentist.
Twice: Jokes on you. I don’t have a dentist.
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bigbunchofdunderheads · 23 hours ago
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Lily: He keeps saying he wants to talk to me. I'm afraid he's gonna tell me he loves me or propose marriage or something.
Severus: I'll keep him away from you.
Later
James: Have you seen Lily?
Severus: Lily died eight years ago.
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incorrecttkemquotes · a day ago
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Jo Eun-sup: The Korean language can not fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.
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tf2-but-incorrect · a day ago
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Scout: I always talk about smart stuff! You know... Jazz age, what's in a name, the 1950s movies that are from the '50s....
Spy: Those were the categories on Jeopardy last night.
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Casey: I know exactly the type of person I need to be in order for Mr O’Neil to think I’m good enough for his daughter.
Mikey: No, Casey, you’re fine. Just be yourself!
Casey: Be myself?! I have ONE day to win over April’s dad. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Raph: Couple weeks.
Leo: Six months.
Donnie: The jury’s still out.
Casey: See Mikey?! “Be myself”. What kind of garbage advice is that?!
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tf2-but-incorrect · a day ago
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Scout: Honestly when I think about spending the rest of my life with a babysitter, she's kind of a cute blonde named Erica and she always has pizza money and lets me stay up as late as I want.
Engineer: How old are you in this scenario?
Scout: ... Anyway the point is--
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Ares: Dads are always like “go help your mother” bro go help your wife
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correct-bangtannies · a day ago
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HYYH Namjoon: I never really understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends, until I got one dumb friend myself
HYYH Namjoon, picking Taehyung up: I've only known Taehyung for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself
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onelonelybraincell · a day ago
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Alina: now im telling my friend how you expanded the Fold
The Darkling: it was for Ravka
Alina: Cool motive, still murder
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Anakin: What's wrong with the way I dress?
Aayla: You know, some people might say that all black leather kind of makes you look like an evil villain.
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Donna: How much did you spend on this date?
Roy: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.
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incorrectbopquotes · 2 days ago
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Barbara: She wants to talk about her feelings...I’m not good at that.
[flashback]
Dinah: I’m just...feeling so hurt and shocked, and I don’t know how to react and...
Dinah: Are you climbing out the window?
Barbara: [climbing out the window] No.
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aliza---e · 2 days ago
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Ruby: It's a one 12-hour shift. WHAT Are you afraid is going to happen?
Harriet: Injury, death, general calamity. Just don't burn the place down.
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Timo Meier: I'm always incredibly appropriate. In high school, I was voted "most appropriate."
Kai Havertz: Ooh, self burn! Those are rare.
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