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#soulmates beat each other up that is the life lesson
onboardsorasora · 2 days
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soul meets body
So I just listened to death cab for cutie on repeat and this happened. I hope it hits the vibe I was going for. Uhm I do have to post a trigger warning so it'll ruin the 'surprise' but I'm hoping my pacing makes up for it
tw: suicide. not overt or graphic but it's there. also, some abuse.
maxiel. 782 wrds
Daniel looked back with a fond grin when he felt Max’s hand close around his. 
His Max, the love of his life. His Great Love. Soulmates tied by the red string of fate and separated by life and circumstances. 
Max’s answering grin was one of Daniel’s favourites, framed by the darkness of the surrounding woods and the light of the full moon. Max giggled, a happy sound. One they don’t hear too much of since his dad returned from deployment. 
Daniel’s hand clenched over Max’s, stopping in their trek to pull him close and lavish in his attention. Languish in the feeling of Max’s body against his. Of them both being here and present. Daniel hummed a melody that had Max slipping his eyes closed and resting his head against Daniel’s. He hummed as well, swaying them in place as if dancing their first dance at their wedding. 
A fantasy they both knew would never come to fruition. 
Jos would never allow them to be together and Joe will never allow Daniel to further put himself in harm’s way. 
“Where the soul meets body…” Daniel whispered the lyrics, his other hand clutching the back of Max’s head. The hardness of his cast shifting the strands. 
“I love you Daniel.” Max whispered into Daniel’s ear. He ignored the memories of his father yelling at him that he didn’t know what love was. That he couldn’t. 
‘We should run away together.’ Max had said, holding a towel to Daniel’s face. ‘As long as I’m with you’ Daniel had rasped out, the fingerprint shaped bruising around his neck lurid.
‘Meet me by the tracks, tomorrow.’
Max had waited for hours, shaking the panic and trepidation from his bones. That Daniel changed his mind. That he didn’t want him. He’d gone to the house that evening to see Michelle staring at him sadly in the yard. Joe had secreted Daniel away in the middle of the night. 
He should have known when Jos was gleeful upon waking, knew that something important happened for him to look so excited with life when all he’d brought back with him from the military was pain and trauma that he insisted on passing down to his son.
Daniel hadn’t come back until the fall. The entire summer dragged on with the absence of his presence. School was shit and rumors flew. But no matter what the plan was, Joe couldn’t keep them away from the rest of his family. Daniel came back with a sunny smile, and a scar on his face from the beating Jos bestowed. 
They learned their lesson. Meeting and loving each other in secret. Daniel shared the music that reminded him of Max while he wasted away on his grandparents’ farm in the country. The song he had on repeat whenever he wanted to feel like Max was near. 
“I love you Max.” Daniel whispered back. They had been good. They had been so good. But it wasn’t enough. Not with Jos lurking around. It would never be.
‘Lets run away.’ Max had said, kneeling at Daniel’s legs while he sat on a hard chair in the hospital. 
‘Where Maxy? He’ll always find us.’ Daniel said sadly. He would go anywhere Max wanted, without question. 
‘Dan..’
‘Anywhere Maxy. Anywhere with you.’ Daniel had spoken into his hair.
‘Where the soul meets body.’
There was a noise in the distance and the two sprung apart before laughing gaily. They took off in a run, dodging trees and going down the small hill. They stopped at the bottom of the slope and Max felt his heart pound as he pulled Daniel with him. 
They stopped in the middle of the tracks, holding each other's hands between them as they stared into each other's eyes. Daniel reached up with his good hand to wipe off a smear of blood that they missed. It was still damp enough to move freely. The rest was on the floor and the clothes they left at Max’s house.
The sound came again, the braying of a train horn. Closer. 
“I love you Max.” Daniel whispered, his heart hammered in his chest as adrenaline soared. He only had eyes for Max. His Maxy.
“I love you Daniel.” Max said with a grin, eyes squinting in their emotion as a light breached the bend of the wooded area. He was so happy, felt so free. Jos would never find them again, never hurt Daniel again.
The horn blared again, louder, as the earth shook with the heaviness.
They smiled at each other, dopy in love grins. Max leaned in for a kiss that Daniel wholehearted returned, clutching each other close as the light got closer.
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subskz · 11 months
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ʚïɞ butterfly bandage - 01
note: this is part 1 of a series (part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5)
content: bang chan/reader, university au, strangers to friends to lovers, themes of soulmates, reader is female and referred to with she/her pronouns, mentions of past unhealthy relationships, a bit of pining, kissing, slight suggestiveness but sfw (eventually nsfw)
summary: after the past three years you’ve had, whether or not you make it through the fourth all comes down to a single thread. fortunately, you find that thread, with chan on the other end. now, it’s just a matter of who needs it more—you, or him.
word count: 15.7k
By the time the spring semester of your senior year rolled around, you were coming apart at the seams.
It was subtle, not something anyone else would notice—you wouldn’t let them. Angling and maneuvering yourself so that it could never be visible to others was a skill that came all too naturally.
Still, you knew it wasn’t a question of if those seams would ever come completely loose, it was a question of when.
The past three years had been a near-constant fight to keep yourself afloat, with each one lining up to present a brand new, life-altering event tailored just for you. Two of which seemed like the end of the world, and one that truly was.
A heartbreak of your own volition. The loss of someone irreplaceable. Another heartbreak for good measure, also of your own volition. With the number of lessons the universe had packed in for you, you were certain that you’d be able to pass on to your next life without any problems.
Third time's the charm.
That was how the saying went, but for your own sake, you had to enter your final year of university stubbornly clinging to the hope that surely, fourth time would be the charm instead.
Incidentally, charm did come, in the form of Bang Christopher Chan.
It had begun with the most trivial of interactions. On the first day of your PHYS 408: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics course, out of breath and—despite the cool February air—nearly working up a sweat from racing around the physics building like some kind of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed freshman, you’d made the very innocuous decision to take the first empty seat you could find. Near the back of the class, close to the door; the perfect spot for someone looking to get their credits in and clock out.
What you’d failed to notice until after you’d sat down, however, was the brooding statue of a boy occupying the chair right next to yours, resting his cheek on his hand and staring at the whiteboard with a look so fierce you would think it had personally wronged him somehow.
Seo Changbin. You’d seen him around more than once, having shared a handful of classes with him over the years, but never daring to approach him. You weren’t exactly someone you’d describe as faint of heart, but something about his muscular build and intense gaze, always made darker by the shadow of a cap, had you wary enough to keep a distance.
Not that it was difficult to steer clear of him, anyway, when he was the last to arrive and the first to leave as soon as each lecture hit its designated time limit—and that was if he’d even shown up to begin with.
You still remembered the first thing you’d noticed after settling down next to him, that being, that he was surprisingly much shorter than you’d initially thought. All those times you’d spotted him from afar, tapping along to the beat of his music or killing time in the activity center between classes, had given you the impression that he was as gifted in height as he was in muscle.
That didn’t change the fact that his intimidating presence more than made up for it, and you had taken great care to not veer into his personal space when you slipped your notebook and pencils out of your bag to prepare for what was sure to be a grueling learning experience.
The second thing you’d noticed about Changbin, was that he himself didn’t have a bag—or any kind of work materials, for that matter. There he sat on the first day of class, with nothing but a caseless Samsung S23 Ultra, a pair of headphones, and a ridiculously large bottle of what you’d assumed to be some kind of energy drink. It was almost impressive, in a way, how he hadn’t even tried to fool himself into thinking he’d be productive this semester.
You’d heard horror stories from your upperclassmen about this Thermodynamics professor. His strict grading criteria and endless list of hyper-specific rules were enough to make anyone with your degree plan dread taking his course; the most notable of said rules being that he prohibited any and all forms of technology in his classroom. It hadn’t taken long for him to single out every student who had dared to present even the tiniest flash of fiberglass around him, and Changbin was no exception.
In retrospect, it should’ve been inevitable to you that twenty minutes into the introductory lecture, he’d lean over and awkwardly ask you if he could borrow a pencil.
Wordlessly, you’d nodded and passed him a complimentary sheet of paper along with your pencil bag, allowing him to choose for himself. To your astonishment, he’d reached for your pink, Sanrio-themed mechanical pencil without a single moment of hesitation, whispering his thanks.
You’d never thought a smirk could be described as shy before you saw his. It was unexpected, coming from someone who looked like he bent iron bars for fun, but a welcome surprise regardless.
What had been even more surprising, was that this strange affinity for cuteness wasn’t a one time thing for him—not even close. With every passing Tuesday and Thursday morning you spent in his company, you soon came to discover that the Seo Changbin you’d created in your mind and the Seo Changbin existing before you were two very, very different people.
“You’re here!” he piped, loud enough to turn a few heads in his direction. “I saved you a seat.”
The flimsy, neglected notebook occupying your chair as some kind of placeholder was such a pitiful sight that you couldn’t help but snort.
“The seat I’ve sat in every day since our first class?” you hummed. “Thanks, Bin.”
“You’d better mean that,” he complained. “This place is lawless, someone might get bold one day and take your spot.”
“They’d beg me to take it back after five minutes of your nagging.” You passed his notebook back to him with a grin. It was hardly used and horribly undersized for a course as rigorous as this one, but you still considered it an improvement over the sorry state he’d been in when you first met.
You slipped into the familiar spot, unzipping your bag and preparing your study materials. “Shouldn’t I be the one surprised that you’re here, anyway?” you pointed out. “To what do we owe the honor of Seo Changbin having perfect attendance in an 8:00 a.m. class?”
“You know exactly what,” Changbin shuddered. Beneath the visor of his cap, you saw his eyes dart towards the podium, landing briefly on your demon of a professor. “Besides, senior year and all. It’d be pretty sad to take an extra semester just ‘cause I slacked off.”
You made a small noise of agreement. “So, fear and pressure,” you dropped your pencil bag dramatically on the table. “Now you sound like a real college student.”
Changbin perked up as he spotted the coveted flash of pink amidst your sea of pens and highlighters. “There she is,” he breathed a sigh of relief. “Thought I’d have to make it through this quiz without my lucky charm for a sec.”
“You keep calling it that,” you mused, fishing the pencil in question out from your pouch. “What makes it so special?”
Solemnly, he took it from your hand, curling his fingers around the pink plastic with all the grace and delicacy in the world. He gestured for you to lean in closer, as if preparing to share some deep, profound secret with you.
“It never runs out of lead.”
You nodded, putting on your best fascinated face. You didn’t have the heart to tell him that you’d been the one refilling it.
“Plus, I’ve aced every quiz I’ve taken with it so far.” Changbin’s eyes gleamed as he continued. “It’ll get me through midterms for sure.”
You reached out mischievously, threatening to swipe it from his hands. “In that case, I might just use it for myself.”
“Don’t even joke about that!”
Though your mood was light, it still soured the slightest bit at the mention of grades. Of the three quizzes you’d taken so far this semester, Changbin had scored better than you on two of them. It was a silly thing to be bothered by. You knew by now that he wasn’t lacking in intelligence by any means, but you also knew that intelligence alone wasn’t enough when it came to this course—or astrophysics in general. Certain levels of discipline and hard work were just as essential to your success, and it was difficult to ignore the question of what you seemed to be missing in those departments, especially when Changbin came across as so carefree about his studies.
With the way everything else had been crumbling around you since you’d begun university, the last hope you could cling to was at least maintaining your GPA until graduation. It had been the one constant in your life, an oddly comforting escape that you could pour your focus into when all else failed. You couldn’t afford to slip up—to be anything less than exceptional—for even a moment, not when your field of study was so fiercely competitive.
“You’ve definitely been doing well for yourself,” you commented. “It can’t all be thanks to Cinnamoroll, can it?”
“Oh?” the corner of his mouth curved up into a smirk. “Is that your way of complimenting me?”
You rolled your eyes, immediately accepting that you wouldn’t get anywhere without buttering him up first.
“I just think it’s unfair to give my pencil all the credit instead of that genius mind of yours, that’s all.”
Your tone was far too sweet to be natural, and you were sure that Changbin could see right through it. Even if he did, he played along anyway, lifting his chin proudly and letting out a satisfied hum.
“It’s true, it’s true,” he boasted. “Keep going.”
“Beauty, brawn, and brains,” you marveled, throwing a hand over your heart to really sell the idea. “You’re living proof that a guy can have it all.”
It was hard to describe the strange, high-pitched sound he made in response. Whatever it was, it helped your efforts feel just a bit more justified. Changbin scrunched up his nose, suddenly at a loss for words, and you were once again reminded of how utterly laughable it was that just two months ago, you’d found him intimidating.
“Ah, seriously,” he cleared his throat, trying to recover from the momentary lapse in bravado. “Alright, I’ll be honest. I get a lot of help from my friend.”
Your interest piqued, and you inched a bit closer. “Your friend?”
He crossed his arms, looking contemplative, and for a second, you thought he might demand more compliments before going into any further detail.
“He’s a couple years older than us, but still studying. He used to be on the astrophysics track before switching to music composition senior year.”
Your eyes widened a bit, half-perplexed, half-impressed. Astrophysics to music. It was a bold change to say the least, not one you could ever imagine yourself making, especially if it’d been close enough to his graduation that he had to take extra semesters.
A lightbulb flickered to life in your head, effectively cutting off whatever you’d planned to say next. “Wait a minute, music composition? Don’t tell me—?”
Changbin clicked his tongue, that same, sheepish expression creeping its way right back onto his face.
“Yes.”
“The same guy you—?”
“Yes,” he repeated. “Chan. The same guy I make music with.”
No matter how hard you tried, you could never suppress your amusement when you remembered the deeply unserious name Changbin and his friends had chosen for themselves.
“So, he’s one third of the famed 3RACHA,” you said it with a bit too much glee, your smile only widening when he shushed you as if the word were some kind of bad omen.
“Why are you embarrassed? The stuff you’ve shown me is really good.”
“I know.” A genuine compliment amidst your teasing only seemed to fluster him further, and he averted his eyes with a grumble. “Ah, forget it. Can’t believe I was gonna be nice and ask if you wanted to study with us.”
You paused. It was easy to forget sometimes that Changbin could be more observant than he let on. Still, you wondered if your earlier shift in demeanor had really been that obvious.
A part of you, the more prideful part, wanted to dismiss his offer right away. It would be like admitting that you were struggling with the course—which, realistically, you knew was ridiculous to care about when every one of your peers was going through the same thing. If the average class scores that your professor so proudly made known were any indication, it’d be a miracle if you weren’t struggling.
Before you could open your mouth to respond, however, the dull, lifeless voice of Dr. Choi rang out through the room, signaling the beginning of the lecture. You put away your study materials begrudgingly, cursing yourself for becoming too immersed in your chat with Changbin to get any last-minute cramming in.
Changbin, on the other hand, looked relaxed as ever, tapping your pencil lazily against the tabletop while the quizzes were passed out. You braced yourself, mind racing with all the knowledge you’d accumulated over the past weeks as a copy of the deceptively short quiz was slid over to you. It was a mere three questions long, but you’d be lucky if you finished them all in the time given to you.
Your eyes landed on the first Gaussian Probability Distribution word problem, and your head went blank. That was all it took for you to lean over to Changbin and whisper.
“I might have to take you up on that.”
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
Noon couldn’t come fast enough.
Your Thermodynamics quiz, not to mention the lecture that followed, had effectively drained your energy before the clock had even struck 9:00, with a full day of classes and assignments still lined up on the horizon.
As anticipated, you’d barely managed to complete the set of problems, even with all your preparation and practice. It could’ve gone much worse, but it was still enough to solidify your decision to join in on the study sessions Changbin had proposed.
He’d eagerly sorted out the details with you after class, planning to meet later this week at his and Chan’s apartment. It hadn't dawned on you until that moment that the latter of the two would probably be expecting some kind of payment for his tutoring services. After all, him helping Changbin out was one thing, but you were a complete stranger.
Changbin, however, had shut the possibility down as quickly as you’d brought it up. According to him, not only would Chan not ask you for any compensation, he’d outright refuse to accept it, even if you tried.
“The only thing Chan loves more than meeting people is helping them,” he’d told you, sounding so sure of himself that you were inclined to believe it.
Even so, it was a bit odd. A former astrophysics major, making a degree switch as drastic as music composition, and still being willing to revisit the same, headache-inducing subjects he’d so narrowly escaped, for free? The more you learned about this Chan character, the more you began to question what kind of person he really was.
Your stomach grumbled, reminding you that you were, in fact, ravenous.
You picked up your pace, drawn in by the welcoming aromas wafting from the campus food court. The feeling of your cell phone vibrating against your thigh made your steps falter a bit, and before you even slipped it out of your pocket, you already had a good idea of who the caller might be.
“Hi, Iseul.”
“Where are you?” she sounded expectant and slightly annoyed, sending your brain on an urgent mission to recall if you’d somehow lost track of plans with her.
“In the student union?” you answered cautiously. “Why?”
You were met with a dramatic huff crackling through the phone speaker.
“I’m outside your place,” she said, as if it were obvious. “Please tell me you didn’t have lunch already. I picked some up for us.”
You blinked, thoroughly confused for what was neither the first nor the last time as to what this girl’s thought process could possibly look like. After two years of friendship, you could confidently say that you had no idea.
“Sorry, did you text me or something?” You pulled your phone away from your ear to open your messages.
“No,” came her reply, tinged with the slightest hint of defensiveness. “But is it so crazy for me to expect you to actually be at your apartment? Y’know, the place where you live?”
“At noon on a Tuesday? A little,” you said plainly. You chose not to bring up the fact that she had to be well aware of your schedule to organize this meeting the very instant your lunch break started.
Another huff. “Well, are you coming or not? There’s a million things I need to talk to you about and I don't know how much longer I can wait here before that security lady accuses me of loitering again.”
You checked the time. It was only a short, ten minute walk to your apartment complex, you could definitely make it before your next lecture.
“Alright, alright. I'm on my way.”
“You’re the best,” her tone changed so abruptly that you almost laughed out loud. “See you soon!”
The call ended before you could get your own goodbyes in. With how quickly she’d hung up, you’d think she had something else to do besides stand around waiting for you to arrive.
Regardless, you hardly felt irritated, well-acquainted with Iseul’s behavior by now.
Your friendship with her had blossomed by pure accident, even with some reluctance on your part. One too many times sophomore year, you’d encountered her in the computer lab at the same ungodly hour as you, battling an army of technical issues with no one around to solve them considering that even the lab assistants had long taken their leave for the night. The first two instances you’d spotted her, slamming her mouse against the desk and cursing violently at her monitor, you’d kept to yourself—albeit with a tinge of guilt—and focused on your own approaching deadlines. After the third time, however, you’d figured the universe was trying to tell you something, and decided to help her out before she rendered every piece of equipment in the lab unusable in her academia-induced fits of rage.
From there, she’d latched on to you in a heartbeat. After all, someone who could help with tasks as incomprehensible to her as troubleshooting Microsoft Excel was sure to be reliable in other areas. On top of that, her newfound interest in you had only doubled when she’d found out that you happened to be living in the newest phase of apartments on campus. Suddenly, she had made the executive decision that you were the best of friends, and that every waking moment of your free time should be spent together at your place.
You might have been offended by her comically transparent motives if you hadn’t discovered soon after that your floorplan was just a few square feet bigger than hers. What she probably wanted most, you’d figured, was a friend.
Your initial misgivings aside, you were grateful to have Iseul in your life. She was someone who could be kept at a safe distance. Not physically, (her constant barging into your space would never allow that) but emotionally. A bit too preoccupied with herself to ever delve into personal matters that you’d rather keep to yourself, but still considerate enough to care about you. At least, in the bare minimum of ways, which was really all you needed from her. She was convenient and comfortable, and you’d long found your rhythm with her despite many labeling her a pain to get along with.
As you began making your way out of the dining hall to meet her, the sight of someone entering from the far side of the building made your heart drop to your stomach.
You froze, suddenly rooted in your place, feet heavy as cinderblocks. It shouldn’t have come as such a shock to you. You were bound to see him again, eventually, whether on campus or through some other unfortunate crossing of paths later down the line. You’d known this and braced yourself for it, too.
Still, no amount of time would’ve ever been long enough.
A very specific type of dread crept up on you, one you hadn’t felt so intensely for almost a year now. But the way it filled up your chest and spread through your skin was all too familiar, like it had never left your system to begin with. Like the kind of person you were before was still inside you, lying dormant.
Resentment and remorse fought for their place in your mind. Somehow, they both felt unjustified. He didn’t deserve to be the target of those emotions, and you didn’t deserve to have them. He hadn’t done anything—that was exactly it: he hadn’t done anything.
You told yourself that you had no right to feel this way. But it didn’t change the fact that he embodied everything you wanted to forget about the past three years.
He hadn’t noticed you yet; at least, you hoped desperately that he hadn’t. You weren’t going to stick around until he did, either. You shook your head, as if to forcibly expel the thoughts before they took root in your brain, and spun on your heels, making your way towards the exit located as far away from him as possible.
In that moment, you were more grateful for Iseul’s impulsive tendencies than ever.
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
You rubbed your hands together in an attempt to warm them up, praying that the clouds would hold out until you and Changbin made it to his apartment. It was an unusually cold day by April’s standards, and the sharp winds and ominous gray sky promised a rain that was sure to be bone-chilling for whoever got caught in it.
“Right there,” Changbin pointed at the building you were approaching, finger landing in the direction of a balcony on its third floor. There was a soccer jersey for a team you didn’t recognize hanging off the railing, flapping in the wind so wildly that you were concerned it may fly away altogether. “See, the walk isn’t so bad, right?”
It had been nearly half an hour. Granted, the journey home took longer than expected thanks to Changbin, despite having lived in this complex for two years, still managing to lose his way somehow.
“I’m starting to understand why getting to class on time is so hard for you.”
“I told you, I’ve never taken this route before!” he objected. “I’m just not used to coming from the east side of campus.”
You relented, deciding you’d teased him enough along the way. “It’s alright, it was a bonding experience,” you gave him a playful smile. “I just hope Chan won’t mind that we’re late.”
Changbin waved his hand dismissively. “Nah, don’t worry. He’s probably holed up in his room working right now. Doubt he even knows what time it is.”
It sounded like a dig at the older boy, but there was no hint of scorn in Changbin’s voice, just honest affection.
A strange feeling had been periodically bubbling up inside you all week, and at the mention of Chan, it made its presence known yet again. Whether curiosity or anxiety was at the root of it, you weren’t quite sure, but it grew stronger and stronger with each step you took up to their apartment. By the time you reached the third floor, you found it hard to focus on anything else.
Changbin fumbled with his keys for a moment before unlocking the door and swinging it open. You made note of the plated number on the wall next to you as he did. 8-325.
“Well, we made it in one piece,” he stepped to the side, inviting you in. You accepted with an appreciative nod, and as you slipped off your shoes, your eyes scanned over the living room and kitchen areas in front of you. They were surprisingly neat, with just a few stray socks and water bottles scattered here and there. Even the state of the kitchen sink wasn’t all that bad. No rotting food, no mountain of dishes, no overflowing trashcan.
“Wow,” you murmured, impressed. “It’s clean.”
Changbin snickered at that, as if he’d anticipated your exact reaction. “Minho raises hell if we let it get any worse than this.”
Minho. You’d almost forgotten about their other roommate. Like in the case of Chan, you hadn’t met him, but you’d heard a few things here and there from Changbin. He was a year older than you—a Computer Science major, if you remembered right—but still an undergraduate due to him taking a gap year after high school to work. You wondered if Changbin was some kind of magnet for these people, with his unique balance of childish antics and emotional maturity giving any upperclassmen he came into contact with no choice but to take him under their wing, even sticking around until he graduated like true, responsible older brothers.
“Chan!” Changbin’s voice rang out through the apartment, louder than you thought was probably necessary. “Chan! We’re here!”
There was no response for a minute or so, and just as you shrank back in preparation for another ear-splitting shout from Changbin, you registered the faint sound of a door opening down the hall.
“Coming!”
For some reason, you held your breath.
Shrouded in a mass of black, from his hoodie, to his pants, to the beanie on his head, out shuffled Chan.
He was just an inch or two taller than Changbin, but similarly to him, he had a strong presence. Maybe it was the way his clothes made him look like a walking void, or maybe it was the way he appeared so friendly in contrast to them. His eyes were gentle and his face was weary, but kind. He looked like someone who smiled a lot.
“Sorry,” he pulled his headphones down, letting them rest around his neck. “I lost track of time.”
Changbin gave you a knowing look, as if to remind you that he’d told you so. “It’s okay, I figured.” He conveniently left out the fact that you and him had arrived beyond schedule.
Chan turned to you, tired eyes finding you for the first time. You introduced yourself with a quick dip of your head, and he did the same. You thought it would end at that, but to your surprise, he reached out his hand, wiggling it around slightly to push back the oversized sleeve that had been covering his palm.
“Nice to meet you!” he chirped.
You took his hand, unable to stop yourself from flinching the instant your skin brushed against his.
He was warm. Unnaturally so.
It set off every last one of your nerve-endings, seared through your veins. You might’ve attributed it to his clothing, but all three of you were dressed in thicker attire given the weather. Surely, he had to be cooking up a ridiculous level of heat in that hoodie for his skin to be burning the way it was. On top of that, he didn’t look sweaty or flushed in the slightest. There was just a natural, rosy complexion to his cheeks (which, upon second look, you noted were quite soft in comparison to the rest of his masculine features).
You blinked, realizing with a start how long you’d gone without returning Chan’s greeting.
Changbin bumped his shoulder against yours, and you cringed inwardly. That had to be some kind of record for how fast a first impression could crumble.
“Nice to meet you, too.” you tried to quell the awkwardness, but the way you pulled back all too quickly only seemed to make things worse.
Chan eyed you for a split second longer, his stare flickering down to your hand so briefly that you weren’t sure if you’d imagined it. He flexed his fingers once, then the look of concern on his face morphed into a polite smile.
It was an unfortunate moment for you to notice that he had dimples.
“Is it too toasty in here?” He angled his head towards the thermostat. “I can change it if you’re uncomfortable!”
Just a minute ago, you would’ve told him that you were fine. You’d been perfectly content with your body temperature up until you’d come into contact with the human furnace that was Bang Chan.
You had half a mind to question if he was the uncomfortable one, with all the heat that was practically radiating off of him, but Changbin spoke up first.
“Have you been outside today?” He shivered. “Trust me, this is perfect.”
At that, he strolled over to the kitchen table and plopped down his belongings, looking more prepared to learn than you had ever seen him in class. Chan's smile didn’t waver despite the fact that he obviously hadn’t been asking for Changbin’s opinion, and he exchanged a glance with you, as if you were old pals rolling your eyes over a mutual friend.
You smiled back at him, determined to let this guy believe that you were, in fact, capable of understanding social cues.
“I'm gonna grab my old notes,” he informed you. “Make yourself at home!”
You thanked him quietly, making your way over to the table and joining Changbin in the seat closest to him. As soon as Chan was out of earshot, he nudged you curiously.
“What was that?”
You put on your best neutral front. “What?”
Changbin squinted, eyeing you up and down. “You were acting weird.”
You considered playing dumb, but quickly decided against it. Knowing him, he wouldn’t stop pestering you until you gave him the answer he wanted.
“He was hot,” you shrugged.
“He was what!?”
You tensed up. “No, no, not like that. I mean he was hot, like, physically.”
His mouth hung open, and you weren’t sure what to be more annoyed with: your abysmal choice in words, or his seemingly deliberate misunderstanding of you.
“He felt hot,” you clarified. “Like, his skin. That's all.”
The explanation only seemed to tickle Changbin further, and you elbowed his side irritably, trying to shush his delighted cackles.
“Okay, so, you weren’t acting weird. You just are weird.”
“I'm serious!” you protested.
“He's not better looking than me, is he?” he continued dramatically. “You didn’t do anything like that when we first met.”
You exhaled, composing yourself before you grew defensive over something so ridiculous. “Because your hand didn’t feel like the surface of the sun.”
Changbin nodded solemnly as if he understood, but the look on his face was still completely unconvinced. “Yeah, yeah,” he clicked his tongue. “Just don’t go falling in love with him, alright?”
You snorted, not bothering to dignify him with a response.
That was the last thing you needed—the last thing you wanted, even. To spend another few years building something that you could already predict the demise of. Another few years constructing a tower that you would never even get to see completed, let alone make a home in. Because it was sure to crumble; that was the only thing it could do when its foundation was never fit to support anything to begin with.
The sound of Chan’s approaching footsteps snapped you out of your unpleasant thoughts. He'd taken longer to return than you’d expected, and you could only pray that he hadn’t overheard your conversation with Changbin. He did seem like the type, after all. To pretend like he was still in the other room so that you could be spared the embarrassment of getting caught in the middle of a conversation about him.
“Alright, let’s get started.”
Two notebooks, a laptop, and the colossal textbook required for PHYS 408: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics—co-written by Dr. Choi himself, of course—were all dropped on the table before you. You felt a glimmer of hope. Chan seemed to be serious about helping out, so much that you wondered if this arrangement truly could be the extra boost you needed to finish the semester with an A.
He settled into the chair opposite you and Changbin. “So, next up is the midterm, yeah? I guess we should start from the beginning.”
“Inexact differentials, please,” Changbin requested. “I still don’t get them.”
Chan raised an eyebrow, lips twitching in amusement. “Since when are you so ready to study?”
“Since we got our new recruit,” he leaned back in his chair. “There’s less pressure on me now that your wrath is split between us.”
You let a soft chuckle slip at that, trying to imagine what it might take to anger someone who appeared as good-natured as Chan. Said boy cleared his throat, looking a bit embarrassed.
“I swear, I’m not that harsh.”
You nodded, fully aware of Changbin’s talent for exaggeration. “I don’t think anything can scare me after Dr. Choi, anyway.”
“That’s true,” he giggled. For how charming it was, it didn’t last nearly long enough.
You pulled your eyes away before landing yourself in another incriminating situation.
“Alright, inexact differentials it is.”
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
Forty-five minutes into your first study session, you’d come to make two very important realizations about Bang Chan.
The first, being, that he wasn’t exactly the best at explaining things.
He’d typically start on the right track, but it wasn’t long before he’d veer off on tangent upon tangent, tacking on more and more information until it became a full-blown ramble, all loosely connected with a series of “um”s and “y’know”s before being clumsily wrapped up with a final “so…uh, yeah!”
You didn’t hold it against him. He was clearly a smart guy, and you knew firsthand what a nightmare these topics could be to teach to other people, especially taking into account that it had been two years since he’d learned them. Even with his less than articulate methods, you still found yourself grasping concepts exponentially better than you ever did in your thermodynamics lecture, and that was because Chan seemed to be gifted with what you could only assume was an endless supply of patience. He’d repeat himself as many times as deemed necessary, perfectly content with rereading his notes, checking the textbook, and even searching things up online until he was certain that both you and Changbin had understood.
The second realization you’d come to, was that your concerns about whether or not you might get to hear more of his laughter had quickly been put to rest.
He giggled at everything. At you, at Changbin, at himself. Sometimes, he giggled at nothing at all, just to fill the silence. It was admittedly fascinating to see the way his face would change, from the stern expression he wore when offering guidance, to the sheepish smile that’d appear when he stumbled over his words.
After hearing his laughter for the better part of an hour, infectious and melodic and, occasionally, ending with the faintest squeak, you still hadn’t gotten sick of it. Though, you did find yourself thinking that he had to be either an extremely self-conscious person, or an extremely giddy one for giggling to come as naturally to him as breathing.
“Does that make sense?” Chan tilted his head. “Let me know if you wanna go over it again!”
“I think I got it,” you smiled.
In truth, you didn’t, but it was a matter of dignity at this point. Enthalpy was one of the most basic properties you needed to know in order to build on concepts infinitely more complicated than it, and if you held up the review any longer to focus on something so mundane, you may not be able to show your face around this guy ever again.
It didn’t help that somewhere along the line, the looming clouds outside had broken at last, bringing about the downpour that you’d anticipated all day. Each explosive clap of thunder chipped away at your focus more and more, making you prone to stupid, easily avoidable mistakes that frustrated you to no end.
You thought your answer had been convincing, even making sure to look him in the eye when you’d said it, but Chan still didn’t let up.
“Are you sure?” he pressed.
“Oh my God,” Changbin’s voice turned up in a whine, his earlier enthusiasm nowhere to be found. “If you explain this one more time I’m seriously gonna go crazy.”
Before Chan could respond, the sound of keys jingling amidst the steady patter of rain caught everyone’s attention. You turned your head just in time to see the door creak open, letting in a violent gust of wind, and, with it, the lean figure of a stranger.
He was soaked. Dark hair plastered to his forehead, clothes hanging off of him like heavy drapes, and sneakers forming small puddles on the wooden floor.
“It’s raining,” he announced.
Changbin broke out into a fit of laughter, and you bit your lip to prevent yourself from doing the same. Chan, though clearly on the verge of losing it as well, still rose from his chair like a reflex and grabbed a hand towel from the kitchen. He tossed it to the other boy, who you could only guess was Minho.
“I was starting to wonder where you were,” Chan remarked, voice shaking with barely contained glee.
“I got sick of waiting for the rain to stop, so I made a run for it.” Minho dumped the water out of his shoes and shut the door in disgust. “Then I remembered why I don’t run.”
The small towel didn’t do much for his drenched state, and after a few moments of shaking it haphazardly in his hair, he gave up and let it rest around his neck instead.
“You should shower and dry off,” Chan told him. “You’ll catch another cold.”
Minho grunted in acknowledgement, but rather than following through, he strolled over to the kitchen. As he did, his gaze landed on you for the first time, giving you a clear view of his face.
Every striking feature of his was balanced out with a soft counterpart. Sharp, intense eyes with puffy bags underneath, a sharp, prominent nose between full cheeks, and sharp, catlike lips above a round chin. It was a delicate combination that not only made him attractive, but interesting to look at, as well.
He studied you for a moment too long, just enough to spark a sense of unease inside you.
“That’s no good, Changbin,” he clicked his tongue at last. “Don’t tell me you’re such a hopeless case that Chan had to find you a second tutor.”
“It’s a study group!” Changbin cried indignantly. “And what the hell kind of introduction is that? Say hi!”
The corner of Minho’s mouth curved into a smirk, like it was made to do exactly that. Similar to Changbin’s, it wasn’t sultry, but unlike Changbin’s, it wasn't shy. It was mischievous and playful, like that of a child’s cheeky grin.
His attention shifted back to you, and he gave you a proper greeting. It was surprisingly polite, all things considered, even ending with a short bow.
He popped open the refrigerator door, leaning forward in a way that had to be uncomfortably cold given that he was still dripping wet.
“I had a few pudding cups left in here. At least two,” he called out.
“Wasn’t me,” Chan piped with the speed of someone who was accustomed to being the first suspect.
Minho pulled his head out from behind the door, accusatory glare locking right on Changbin.
The boy shifted guiltily next to you, unable to hold eye contact with Minho for longer than a few seconds.
“Sorry,” he muttered.
Minho shut the fridge with a hum. “That’s alright.” His voice was breezy and sweet, a complete contrast to what came out of his mouth next. “Just sleep with your door locked until you buy me new ones.”
“Hey,” Changbin whined. “That’s scary.”
He tugged at your arm as if expecting you to rush to his defense, and you settled for giving him a comforting pat on the back, not nearly familiar enough with Minho to joke around with him like that. Given how Chan was watching in amusement, you figured this was a regular occurrence for them, anyway.
Following Minho’s arrival, your review session more or less fell apart. The idle chit chat eventually led into a full on conversation, and when Changbin shut his textbook with a luxurious stretch, you knew there was no chance of getting him to open it again.
You didn’t mind, really. The three of you had covered a lot of ground in the time you’d spent studying, and you were already worlds more confident about the upcoming exam. Your main concern, now, was how you were going to get home. It was well past sunset, and the thick sheet of clouds had darkened the night more so than usual, not allowing even a single drop of moonlight to break through. That, coupled with the fact that it was still very much pouring outside, complicated your plans a bit.
Sitting there as the odd one out among the group of friends, you couldn’t help but feel like you were overstaying your welcome, but any attempts you made at suggesting that you brave the storm and head home were emphatically shut down.
“It’s okay,” you tried to convince them. “I really should get back and have dinner.”
“Have dinner with us!” Changbin didn’t miss a beat.
You hesitated, uncertain as to whether it would be more rude to accept or decline.
“It doesn’t look like the rain’s gonna stop anytime soon,” Chan reasoned. “Why don’t we eat first?”
Minho, in vengeance of his fallen pudding cups, loudly declared that he wouldn’t be cooking dinner for anyone. It became clear to you in that moment that he was probably the only thing standing between his roommates and malnutrition, because their go-to second option (if not their only other option) was instant ramyeon.
So, there the four of you sat, crammed together on their living room couch, watching some obscure superhero movie that Changbin seemed to know every line of, and slurping away at your noodles.
They had turned out tasty enough, with the extra spices and sauces you’d added to make the flavor a bit more appealing, but with the way Chan scarfed down his share, you might’ve thought it was the best meal he’d ever had. He was all satisfied noises and delighted fist shakes, looking happier eating instant cup noodles than you’d seen some people look their entire lives.
He was cute, you decided.
Though the movie lessened some of the pressure you felt to socialize, a faint air of awkwardness still lingered around you, only ever really ebbing when you and Changbin would interact in between his passionate lore discussions with Chan and his bickering with Minho.
Chan seemed to sense early on that you weren’t fully relaxed with the atmosphere; at least, you assumed as much judging by his periodic efforts to pull you back into the conversation.
“Everything good?” he’d asked at one point, leaning over so you could hear his whisper above the movie.
Even with Changbin serving as a buffer between you two, his persistent warmth still found you.
“Oh, yeah.”
Not your most eloquent response. To be fair, you hadn’t anticipated his question. It didn’t seem to have convinced him, but he’d given you a smile, anyway.
“Alright. Just know that you’re more than welcome here, yeah?”
You were grateful for his kindness, but at the same time, it had caught you off guard. It wasn’t a regular thing for you, being read with such ease by someone you hardly knew, and you couldn’t decide if you were just being uncharacteristically transparent that day, or if Chan was too perceptive for his own good.
Changbin was Changbin. That in itself helped you loosen up a bit, as well. He behaved in virtually the exact same way around the older boys as he did with you—albeit, leaning more into his childish side—and it filled your chest with a pleasant sort of relief. He considered you a friend; close enough to treat you with the same intimacy that he treated people he’d known for years.
Minho, on the other hand, was more of an enigma. Not rude by any means, but not overly accommodating, either. The one thing you were certain of was that he was incredibly funny. Witty, too. He didn’t speak as much as Chan or Changbin, but when he did, it was always something memorable. His voice had a playful lilt to it that never seemed to go away, like nothing he said was meant to be taken too seriously.
As the night continued and the four of you had all eaten your fill—or, several fills in Chan’s case—your reservations slowly but surely melted away. You spoke more naturally, joked with Changbin the way you always did when you were together, and even found yourself comfortable enough to make a few snarky comments about the film’s ridiculous plot and cringeworthy special effects, to which Changbin took great offense and Minho had let out a few laughs.
As for Chan’s laughter, another few hours of it still hadn't made it any less endearing. In fact, the more you heard it, the more hooked on it you became.
By the time the storm had passed and you could finally head home safely, you found yourself a bit wistful that your impromptu gathering had come to an end.
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
“So,” Iseul’s eyes twinkled. “What’s the verdict? Is he cute?”
Straight to the point. It was something you liked about her, usually, but in this scenario, you almost wished she’d never asked.
Ever since that day, you’d felt an inexplicable sense of…well, you didn’t quite know what it was. Discomfort, unease, foreboding; they were all too extreme to describe the feeling. All you knew was that something peculiar stirred inside you whenever you thought back to Chan. Maybe it was because of your clumsy first interaction, or maybe it was because of that nagging, uncanny belief that he could see right through you from the very first moment you met.
It was unfair, in a way, because you knew for a fact that he’d been nothing but friendly every time you’d hung out with him—a delight to be around, really. You could easily see why he was the social butterfly that Changbin made him out to be.
“Hello?” Iseul complained. “I'm not gonna stop asking, even if you ignore me.”
In retrospect, telling her about your new study routine with Changbin and his mystery friend—however offhanded it had seemed at the time—probably wasn’t your smartest move.
“Yeah. Really cute, actually.”
You may as well have told her that he’d asked for her hand in marriage with the squeal she let out. “I knew it, I knew it! Tell me everything.” She nearly knocked her drink over in her rush to scoot closer to you.
It was hard to keep a straight face. Even when you knew it was short-lived, her enthusiasm over the simplest of things was contagious.
“What’s there to tell?” you feigned nonchalance in a way that was sure to annoy her. “I go to him and Bin’s place, we study, I leave.”
“Come on,” Iseul pouted. “There has to be more to it than that. What’s he like? Do you have a picture?”
“A picture?” you echoed incredulously. “You take a commemorative selfie every time you study thermo?”
“Like, his Instagram or something!”
“He has three posts, and none are of his face.”
Iseul deflated at that, and you broke out into proud chuckles. You were being difficult, sure, but the part about his profile was at least true. A picture of his hand holding up a peace sign at the beach, a picture of what you assumed to be his dog back home, and a surprisingly clear shot of the moon; those were the three precious images Bang Chan had felt compelled to share with the world, with the most recent one being from almost two years ago.
“He’s got a nice smile,” you offered.
Iseul took the bait instantly, perking back up. “Yeah?”
You nodded. “Dimples, too.”
“Cute.” She clasped her hands together, looking lost in a dream. “That’s it, I have to see him.”
“What’s got you so interested, anyway?” you mused. “Aren’t you talking to someone?”
With the way her face dropped right back into a grimace, you knew you’d touched on a sore subject. “No,” she said curtly. “I mean, am I? Does it count as talking when you’re lucky to get a reply every six hours?”
“You’re just clingy,” you teased, already bracing yourself for when her hand flew out to swipe at you.
“I’m totally low maintenance!” she cried. “Anyway, I don't even want Chan for me. This is about you.”
You shifted in your spot, that same, strange feeling twisting in your stomach, stronger this time.
“Me? What do you mean?”
Iseul put her chopsticks to the side, giving you a look that was far too serious given the topic.
“I’m finding you a boytoy.”
You nearly laughed out loud, only stopping yourself in the nick of time when you caught that she wasn’t joking in the slightest. 
“No, you’re not.”
“I am!” she insisted, bravely holding her ground in the face of your disbelief. “What are you gonna do when I settle down and don’t have time for you anymore? I gotta make sure you have someone to entertain yourself with!”
Your amusement wavered just a bit. You knew she meant well, but when it came to Iseul—or anyone, for that matter—trying to do things for your sake, you’d long accepted that you’d prefer if they didn’t even bother. 
“There’s no rush,” you pointed out. “You have to actually get a text back before you can settle down, right?”
“Oh my God! I'm trying to help you and this is the thanks I get?”
“Thanks, Iseul.” You reached out to give her an apologetic pat. “But I don’t need any help with that.”
Suddenly, her lips curved into a devious smirk, and you had a sneaking suspicion that she’d misunderstood what you meant.
“Oh, I know you don’t,” she drawled. “Never forgetting that dreamboat you had following you around like a lost puppy all sophomore year. What was his name again—?”
“Doesn’t matter,” you cut her off a bit too harshly, regretting it as soon as you did.
Iseul frowned. “It was just a question.”
“You’re right, sorry.”
“What ever happened to him, anyways?” she continued, apparently not taking the hint. “Things ended so suddenly with you two.”
You tried not to bristle. After your near-encounter in the dining hall the other week, he’d been occupying your thoughts far too often for your liking. That, coupled with those peculiar feelings that had sparked within you upon meeting Chan, had you unreasonably on edge ever since. 
“I told you,” you tried to sound casual. “It just wasn’t a good match. I don’t think he really liked me all that much.”
Iseul scoffed, not buying it for a second. “Please, he was obsessed with you.”
The urge to tell her everything right then and there was more tempting than ever. To unload all the bitterness, the guilt that had been building up and weighing you down for the better part of two years now. You knew you couldn’t, though, not when it meant having to break the very same news to her that had led to the end of your relationship. The chances of her reacting the same way that he had were slim, but even the smallest possibility was more than enough reason for you to stay quiet. You’d kept it tucked away for far too long now, anyway. She’d only get upset if she found out now.
“Obsession isn’t the same as love.”
Iseul grew quiet for a moment.
“I guess,” she mumbled.
She turned her attention back to her soda, as if the conversation had suddenly become too heavy for her tastes.
You didn’t blame her, but it further solidified your decision to leave what you’d wanted to say buried in your heart.
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
Several doses of caffeine were in order.
Anyone who happened to witness the unfortunate sight of you and Changbin stumbling out of Room 118 of the physics building, spiritually battered and bruised and barely able to process your surroundings, might’ve thought you’d just gone to war.
It wasn’t much of a stretch, considering the exam you’d just taken. You felt ridiculous for ever thinking the two hour time slot was overkill; in actuality, it had been a rare display of mercy from Dr. Choi.
“I’m dropping out,” Changbin declared.
“Absolutely not.”
“I’ll do it,” he insisted. “Before I lose my mind for real.”
He slumped heavily against you, and it took all your strength to support his muscular body so that the both of you wouldn’t be sent toppling to the floor.
“After everything Chan’s done for you? You might just break his heart.”
Changbin seemed to take your joke a bit too seriously, a horrified look crossing his face. “Can you imagine how that would’ve gone without his help?”
“Don’t even wanna think about it,” you shuddered.
For how excruciating the thermodynamics midterm had been, it was more because of the psychological torture aspect than the difficulty of the content itself—though, its difficulty was nothing to sneeze at, either. The one positive that had come from this hellish experience was confirmation that choosing to study with Chan had undoubtedly been the right choice for you. Every topic you’d managed to review over the few meetings you’d had so far stayed fresh in your mind during the exam, so vividly that you could even recall the inflections in Chan’s voice whenever he’d sing his sentences at random. You weren’t sure if it was intentional, or if it was even something he was aware that he did, but you’d caught on to it right away.
Because his melodies helped you remember better, of course, not because you found it endearing.
“We really need to thank him,” Changbin bumped his head against yours. “Let’s bake him a cake.”
“You can’t even crack an egg.”
“Who told you that!?” he bolted upright, miraculously regaining his energy.
You kept your lips sealed, but it didn’t take long for him to narrow down the suspects.
“Minho…” he muttered. “Who the hell shares that story with someone they just met?”
“I agree that we should do something for Chan, though,” you tried to stay on topic before Changbin could get riled up about Minho. He was already sour on him after he’d bought replacement pudding cups as threatened, only to smugly be told that they were the wrong brand.
“I’ll think of something when my brain isn't fried.” Changbin shoved his hands in his pockets, looking contemplative for a second. “You never answered my question, y’know.”
“Hm?”
“About him being better looking than me.”
His words caught you so off guard that you actually stopped in your tracks, turning to give him a look of pure disbelief.
“Seo Changbin,” you said plainly. “You can’t be serious.”
“What?” his tone grew defensive. “This is important stuff! You’re supposed to be around the same level of attractiveness as your friends. It’s scientifically proven.”
You so badly wanted to hold your unimpressed stare, but it was impossible when the man in front of you was speaking without an ounce of shame.
“First of all,” you began. “I've told you a million times that it had nothing to do with his appearance.”
It was Changbin's turn to look unimpressed, but he waited for you to finish.
“Second of all, you’re a very handsome guy, Binnie,” you tacked on the nickname for maximum effectiveness. “So if I were to fall in love with anyone, it’d obviously be you.”
You truly meant the compliment, but a little extra flattery never hurt when it came to him. A wide, embarrassed smile spread across his face like clockwork, and he reached out to smack your shoulder, giggling at an unnaturally high pitch.
“Geez, don’t say it like that,” he complained. “I wasn't ready.”
You shook your head. “You’re so simple.”
For both Changbin’s peace of mind and your own, you hoped now that the issue would be dropped. You had enough confusing feelings about Chan already without Iseul and Changbin blowing things completely out of proportion.
“Wanna get some coffee?” you suggested. “There’s a really good kiosk on the first floor of the library.”
“I think I’m gonna head home and nap, actually. I’ve got another exam tonight.”
You let out a sympathetic hum. “That’s rough. Good luck, Bin.”
“Thanks,” he sighed dramatically. “Treat me for all my hard work once midterms are over.”
“Sure, I’ll even save up so I can afford your rich kid tastes.”
Changbin grinned at that. “On second thought,” he pulled his hand out of his coat pocket to reveal your pencil; his lucky charm. “You’ve given me more than enough.”
He attempted to pass it back to you, but you nudged his hand away gently.
“Keep it. Maybe it’ll help with your next exam.”
From there, you and Changbin said your goodbyes for the day. You decided to head to the coffee shop on your own, in desperate need of some kind of energy boost so you wouldn’t crash the instant you returned to your apartment.
As you made your way over to the campus library, your mind drifted back to Chan. It seemed to do that a lot, recently.
You wanted to do something to express your gratitude to him, but it was difficult to decide on what when you knew so little about the guy. Changbin could always help in that department, of course, but then there was the issue of actually getting Chan to accept it.
Despite not having walked nearly long enough to work up a sweat, you felt strangely heated when you approached the library entrance. Not only that, your hands were clammy, and you had to wipe your palm on your clothes before reaching out for the door handle. The warm, addictive scent of coffee flooded your senses as you entered the building. You almost connected your sudden rise in temperature to its cozy atmosphere—that was, until your eyes zeroed in on a figure seated at the table directly across from where you stood.
He was hunched over his laptop, consumed by his dark clothes so that he was hardly visible to anyone passing by, but you’d already reached a point where you could’ve recognized that side profile anywhere. A distinctive nose peeked out from behind the hood pulled over his head, thumb brushing over his lips as he concentrated on the screen before him.
Driven by an urge you couldn’t quite place, your feet drew you in his direction, and you had to force yourself to come to a sudden halt. He looked busy—exhausted, too—it was probably best to leave him alone.
Just as you turned to continue over to the coffee stand, dark eyes flickered up to find you, as if on cue. Recognition flooded his face, lighting up with a smile.
You gave him a small wave, and to your surprise, he gestured enthusiastically for you to come over to him. You adjusted the strap of your bag, feeling unusually self-conscious, like you’d given too much away with just your stare. Still, you steeled yourself and padded over to his table.
“Hey!” Chan removed his headphones, hood slipping off along with them. “I was just thinking of you.”
You blinked. “You were?”
“Yeah, you and Bin had your exam today, didn’t you?”
“Oh, right. He just headed home, actually.”
He pulled out the chair next to his, inviting you to take it. You hesitated for a moment before accepting, giving him a grateful nod.
As you settled in next to him, it dawned on you that this was the first time you’d ever seen him without some kind of hat or beanie on his head. You hadn't even known that his hair was curly. It felt akin to a crime to have been robbed of the sight; soft, brown ringlets falling just above his eyes and swooping out at his nape, almost like the tail of a duck.
“How’d it go?” He tilted his head curiously. “Alright, I hope?”
“Well, let’s just say I understand why you switched majors.”
Chan’s laughter filled your ears, a blissful compensation for the past two hours you’d just had. He reached out to tap your shoulder lightly as he giggled, and you weren’t sure why it made your heartbeat pick up.
“That bad, huh?”
“It would’ve gone a lot worse without your help,” you confessed. “Thanks again for studying with us, you’re a lifesaver.”
“Yeah, of course!” Chan chirped. “I’m glad to help.”
“Are you sure there’s really nothing I can do in return? I hope you’re not holding back just ‘cause I’m Changbin’s friend.”
You were careful to ask a second time after your failed attempt at convincing him to accept some kind of payment—favor, anything—during your first study session. Just as Changbin had predicted, he’d brushed you off with a polite smile, insisting that it was the least he could do. Despite your best efforts, you’d ultimately stopped pressing the issue to avoid coming off as too pushy.
Chan waved his hand, dismissive, yet again. “Nah, you don’t have to worry about that. It’s no trouble at all!”
“How about I buy you a coffee?” You motioned in the direction of the kiosk. “Just one cup, and I’ll stop nagging.”
“Ah.” He scrunched up his nose in distaste. “Sorry, I don’t really drink it.”
You stared, waiting for some kind of indication that he was just messing with you, but it never came. Suddenly, his perpetually worn-out state made perfect sense.
“A college student who doesn’t drink coffee? They should study you.”
He grinned, looking a bit embarrassed. “If you need me as the subject for your research next semester, just let me know.”
“Thanks,” you giggled. “But then I’d owe you double.”
He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, and you tried not to focus on the way his thumb came to run over his full lips again. You’d never seen lips shaped like his before; when you looked closely enough, they resembled a soft-edged heart.
“How about this? Give me your number and we’ll call it even.”
Your mouth nearly fell open. You hadn’t pegged him as the type.
“That way, we can say we’re officially friends,” he continued, completely oblivious to your shock. “And helping out a friend is normal, yeah?”
Friends. It was odd to hear him say that. You weren’t really sure if you could consider someone you’d spent just a handful of hours with your friend, but for what it was worth, he seemed to be speaking sincerely.
Your brief moment of panic melted away. Another case of unintentional flirtatiousness on his part, after all. It was relieving, in a way, because you could only imagine the effect someone like him might have on people if only he knew how to utilize his charm.
“Alright, you win. Just a warning, though, I’m not the best texter.”
“Me neither,” he admitted. “But if you ever need anything or wanna chat, I’ll be there!”
As you exchanged phone numbers, every one of your instincts called for you to be suspicious of Chan, to believe that, surely, he must have some kind of ulterior motive behind his eagerness to befriend you. But you knew what ill-intent looked like by now,—you’d be a fool if you didn’t—and there was none behind his eyes, just an honest desire to help in any way that he could.
It was almost foreign to you, something you’d never really seen in any other person but one.
“There! You’re debt-free.” Chan handed your phone back to you. He’d taken it upon himself to add a wolf emoji next to his contact name, and you shot him an amused look.
“My friends say it reminds them of me,” his voice turned a bit sheepish, as if realizing how silly it felt to say out loud.
You softened. “That’s cute.”
“You think so?” He reached up to fiddle with his piercing, and you noticed for the first time how red the tip of his ear had become. Probably a side effect of his concerning levels of body heat. “What should I put next to yours?”
“A flame?” you joked. “So you can remember me as the girl who sucks at thermo.”
Chan flexed his fingers. “I like it,” he giggled.
You stole a glance at his laptop as he edited your contact, met with a sea of sound waves, audio files, and incomprehensible icons taking up his screen.
“So, were you working on something?”
He perked up. “Oh, yeah! Just messing around with some sounds, really.”
You leaned in a bit closer despite not understanding much of what you were looking at. Even with your lack of expertise, you could see that whatever he was doing was more than just messing around.
“Is it for a class?” your interest piqued. “Or for 3RACHA?”
Chan’s breath hitched, loud enough for you to hear, and you wondered for a moment if you’d said something wrong.
“You know about that?”
“Bin’s shown me a few songs! You guys are really good.”
He ducked his head, the flush on his ears creeping up to paint his cheeks the same shade. Oh. He really had been flustered the entire time. It excited you more than it probably should have.
“Ah, thank you,” he chuckled breathlessly. “Sorry, I’m just a little caught off guard, I think.”
You considered changing the subject for the sake of his comfort. What he said next, however, quickly quelled any concerns you had. “Which one did you like the most?”
He lifted his gaze shyly, looking so hungry for approval that you made a mental note to ask him more about his music in the future.
“Zone!” you didn’t miss a beat. “I especially love the lines in Māori.”
His face broke out into a grin so wide that his eyes almost squeezed shut from sheer happiness. “I sing that part,” he beamed. 
Of course he did. You tried to imagine it—the bubbly, unassuming boy in front of you delivering lines with such power and confidence. It intrigued you, just like everything else about him. From the first day Changbin had described him to you, he was like a puzzle that you were determined to collect all the pieces of, to bring your understanding of him to completion.
Your original goal in coming to the library now long forgotten, the two of you stayed at his table for at least another hour, chatting about all sorts of things. You learned that while all three members of 3RACHA had a hand in composing and songwriting (a fact that you made note of for future, Changbin-teasing purposes) Chan played the biggest role when it came to arrangement. With a bit of prompting on your part, he gave in and showed you a snippet of what he’d been working on before you arrived.
Placebo was the working title. It had a hopeful, upbeat melody that made you feel light and strangely nostalgic. There were no lyrics yet—Chan was still waiting on Jisung, the final third of the boys, to finish up his parts. As it turned out, he was the wide-eyed, messy-haired junior you’d spotted hanging around Changbin all those instances over the years, and one of the first people that Chan had befriended upon moving from Australia. How they’d come to meet when Chan was three years older than him, you had no idea, but you figured this guy could become best friends with his prison guard if he really wanted to, so it didn’t seem worth questioning.
Even with its half-finished instrumental and lack of lyrics, you could already sense a potential new favorite in Placebo. Though, if you were being honest, given the expression on Chan’s face as he played it for you—earnest and giddy and biting his fist in anticipation—you might've said the same regardless of which song it was.
“Do you really like it?” He kept his eyes on the screen, but you could see the glee plastered on his face.
“I do! It makes me happy.” You slipped his headphones off and passed them back to him. “You have to show me when it’s finished, okay?”
It didn’t seem possible, but his smile grew, cheeks rising and dimples flashing. “Okay, promise.”
He held out his pinky to seal the deal. You hesitated, wincing inwardly when you remembered what had happened the last time your skin touched his. Even so, you were determined not to fumble another interaction with him, and you braced yourself before hooking your fingers together.
The heat was still very much there, though not quite as drastic as before. It didn’t jolt through your nerve-endings like it had when you’d first met; instead, it kindled at your point of contact and spread steadily along your skin, from your pinky to your palm until it warmed your entire body. Gentle and intense, all at once.
Chan looked like he had something to say, but just as he opened his mouth to speak, your phone buzzed to life on the table. Reluctantly, you unlaced your pinky from his and reached for the device, unsurprised when you saw Iseul’s name in glowing white letters.
“Sorry, one sec,” you excused yourself, knowing that if you didn’t take her call now, many more were to come.
“Hello?” your voice came out winded, and you swallowed hard to steady it.
“Are you busy?”
Your eyes darted to Chan. He’d turned his attention back to his laptop, humming quietly to himself.
“Kinda, is everything alright?”
“Oh,” she paused. “What’s up?”
“Just in the library,” you left out the fact that you were with Chan, not keen on fueling her newfound desire for matchmaking.
“I need help planning my schedule for next semester,” she sounded stressed, but you knew by now that even the most easily-solved of problems could be the end of the world in her eyes. “Literally none of these marketing sections work for me and I need this credit to graduate. I’m going fucking crazy trying to move my other classes around.”
There was no excuse for you to say no, other than the fact that academics were the last thing you wanted to think about after the midterm you’d just had. That, and, you were enjoying your time with Chan more than you’d like to admit.
“Alright, I can help you figure it out. I’ll just need some time to get to your place.”
"You’re the best,” she breathed a sigh of relief. “Hurry, please.”
At that, she hung up, probably to get right back to abusing her laptop’s trackpad with furious clicks. You slipped your phone into your pocket, and when you began gathering up your belongings, Chan’s gaze shifted back to you.
“Heading out?”
“Yeah,” you wished you didn’t feel so wistful about it. “My friend needs help with her fall schedule, she’s kinda freaking out.”
A knowing look crossed his face, lip twitching with the faintest hint of amusement. It wasn’t lost on you, and you raised an eyebrow at him.
“What is it?”
“Nothing,” he hummed. “Just think I understand now why you wanted to repay me so bad.”
You had half a mind to be taken aback, but it felt strangely expected of him, like you’d known that such a minor detail would be enough for him to catch on. That tendency you’d noticed from the first day you’d met him, making itself known more and more each time you crossed paths. 
“Think you’re the only one who can do people favors?” 
“Course not,” his smile mirrored yours. “I hope things work out with your friend.”
“Thanks.” You rose from your spot, wondering briefly if you should say what was on your mind before parting ways with him. “It was nice talking with you.”
“You, too.” He held up his phone, wiggling it around as a reminder. “We’ll talk more soon!”
In the end, you left the library without a single drop of caffeine in your system, yet somehow, you felt more energized than ever.
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
Six weeks and several study sessions later, you had come to make two more very important realizations about Bang Christopher Chan.
The first being, that he hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d warned you about his texting habits. You’d always thought you were bad at responding in a timely manner, hell, you’d thought Changbin was bad; but when Chan said he wasn’t the best texter, he didn’t just mean that he could be dry or slow or forgetful, he meant that most of the time, he simply didn’t text at all.
Instead, he liked to call.
You didn’t really mind—you tended to prefer talking to people over texting, anyway, but you’d admittedly been stunned when, after a week of radio silence following your encounter in the library, he’d contacted you out of the blue for no reason other than to “catch up”. No warning, no opening text, just an unexpected call that ended up stretching into a thirty minute conversation before you had to hang up and head to your next class. Another short period of no contact, and then, it had happened again. This time, just a few days following your first chat.
His calls, you’d also noticed as time went on, sometimes came at the most ungodly hours of the night. Once or twice, you’d woken up in the morning to find a missed call notification followed by an apologetic text a few hours later.
chan 🐺 (5:23 a.m.) sorry haha, didn’t realize how late it was
It left you perplexed as to when this man ever got a wink of sleep.
Even with your conversations being so sporadic, you found yourself looking forward to them regardless. He always had something interesting to share with you, from stories about people he’d met and the places he’d been, to music discussions and recommendations, to a vast array of space knowledge that he seemed to have neatly filed away in his brain. He talked about space a lot, like it was his friend. The moon, especially. It was undoubtedly your favorite topic of conversation, not only because it was a shared interest, but because the pure wonder and adoration with which he spoke of it stirred a warmth inside you like no other.
On top of all that, he always made an effort to check in with things on your end as well—in fact, it was always the first thing he asked about the moment you’d pick up, which might have been the most confusing detail of all. He was simultaneously the most absent and the most attentive communicator you’d ever met.
Once it had been made apparent to you that this routine may very well become commonplace with Chan, your curiosity had piqued enough for you to finally question him about it. His explanation, however, almost had you wishing you’d never asked, because nothing could’ve prepared you for his simple, sincere, “It’s just nice to hear your voice, y’know?”
That led into your second, more troubling realization. Somewhere along the line, you seemed to have developed a bit of a soft spot for Chan.
It had dawned on you some weeks ago, when the two of you had visited a new ice cream shop near campus that you’d mentioned was your favorite. When you’d recommended the place to him, you’d never once considered that he would take it as a suggestion for you to accompany him in trying it out. In the end, he’d ordered not one, not two, but all three of the signature flavors you told him you liked the most, detailing his thoughts about each one, with plenty of delighted hums and vocalizations in the process. Much to your horror, you’d listened to him chat passionately away with the most hopelessly endeared, involuntary smile on your face, knowing right then and there that your fate was sealed.
For that reason, your limited interaction with him was more like a blessing in disguise to you. The moment you’d discovered just how often your thoughts seemed to be preoccupied with him, your first instinct had been to distance yourself, to cut off all unnecessary contact until the pesky, ever-present daydream of his melodic laughter was forcibly expelled from your brain. Your regular meetings with him and Changbin, however, had made your efforts increasingly difficult, and you couldn’t shake the fear that, with how naturally Chan seemed to tune in to your emotions, it was only a matter of time before he noticed you behaving differently around him.
Today brought with it another moment of reckoning, another test of your resolve in the form of a two hour study session. You’d managed to get by the last few without any major slip-ups, making you especially grateful that Changbin was around to ensure you behaved more like your usual self.
bin 😑 (5:36 p.m.) oh, i forgot to tell you i can’t make it today
You stared down at your phone in disbelief, nearly coming to a halt in the middle of the road.
You’d texted Changbin this morning to double check that you were still on for studying this evening, even making sure to reach out hours in advance so he could reply before it was too late. Clearly, you’d have to give him at least a day’s notice from now on, because you were just a minute away from his complex when he’d decided to graciously inform you that he wouldn’t be coming.
you (5:36 p.m.) are u serious??? i’m almost at your place
bin 😑 (5:38 p.m.) sorry sorry it’s game night w/ minho and jisung lol. but chan’s home dw
you (5:38 p.m.) game night...you do realize this is for the final right? why isn’t chan with you guys?
bin 😑 (5:39 p.m.) relax mom i’ll come to the next one ;;; and he said he’s fine studying w/ you instead
A sense of dread twisted in your stomach. Regardless of how kind-hearted Chan was, you knew there was absolutely no chance in hell he would’ve preferred to stay home on a Friday night, tutoring you on the most demonic subjects known to man, while his friends hung out without him.
bin 😑 (5:40 p.m.) are you mad ㅜ
you (5:41 p.m.) ur a bad kid
bin 😑 (5:41 p.m.) huuuu ㅜㅜ
you (5:42 p.m.) i’m just gonna head home and tell chan we should reschedule
bin 😑 (5:42 p.m.) noooo don’t do that chan doesn’t care i promise lol
bin 😑 (5:43 p.m.) he probably prefers it this way tbh
You paused, hand resting uncertainly on the stairway railing.
you (5:44 p.m.) what do you mean?
A minute passed, then another, and still no response. You huffed, assuming you’d reached your Changbin text quota for the day, and you locked your phone irritably. If Chan was expecting you, you supposed you had no choice.
It’s not a big deal, probably. You told yourself as you trudged up the stairs. Still, it felt like one. The prospect of being alone with him stressed you out as much as it excited you. No long-distance advantage of a phone call, no Changbin serving as a bridge between the two of you; just you versus Chan and his accidental charm for the next two hours.
Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door of unit 8-325. You wondered briefly if he’d even heard, considering his headphones were virtually glued to his ears most of the time, but you didn’t get the chance to worry much about it before the door swung open, much sooner than you’d expected.
“Hi!” he greeted cheerfully. “How’ve you been?”
No hoodie on today. It made sense, given how much the weather had warmed up, but you personally felt that the muscle tank he had on instead wasn’t really necessary. His curls were out, too.
So, it was safe to say you weren’t doing well.
“Powering through the end of the semester,” you flashed a quick smile, shuffling inside and slipping off your shoes. “You?”
Chan shut the door with a noise of sympathy. “Same here.”
Your eyes scanned over the apartment. It felt undeniably empty without Changbin’s steady, familiar presence next to you or without Minho slinking back and forth between his room and the kitchen, making sure to cause as many distractions as possible each time he did.
“I’m so sorry,” you blurted out. “Changbin just told me that he wasn’t coming. If you wanna do this another night and go hang out with the others, that’s totally fine.”
He looked surprised for a moment, turning to look at you properly. “It's all good! They’ve been obsessed with that game for weeks, I got kinda sick of it, anyway.”
“Oh,” you frowned.
Chan sensed that you were still unconvinced—of course he did—and he gave you a reassuring smile. “I’m here because I wanna be.”
You knew it wasn’t his intention, but your heart still skipped a beat.
“That’s what I’m so confused about, I guess.”
He simply chuckled in response, as if that were enough to explain himself. Despite your lingering concerns, you decided not to press the issue any further, and you made your way over to the kitchen table as usual to set down your bag. You realized a moment too late that you had chosen the chair right next to where his laptop was placed. Just as you were debating whether or not you could get away with switching before he noticed, he slipped into the spot next to you, blissfully unaware of the impact it’d have on your psyche for the rest of the hour.
“I’m glad you came,” he commented, setting up his own study materials. “Feels like it’s been a while since we’ve talked.”
You wondered if that was his way of letting you know that he felt you’d been avoiding him. Well, avoiding was a bit of a stretch. More like limiting your exposure, taking him in moderation so you wouldn’t get addicted.
“It does,” you agreed. “And not just ‘cause you disappear off the face of the earth when I don’t see you in person.”
“Hey, hey!” It was defensive, but good-natured as ever. “I’m just not much of a phone guy.”
“Right, you’re more of a laptop guy.”
He grinned. “Exactly.”
“Speaking of,” you gestured to the device in question. “Have you made any progress on Placebo?”
He perked up, visibly brightening at your mention of the song. “A bit,” he chirped. “Actually, I rearranged some parts of it.”
“Oh?”
Chan’s eyes twinkled, and you got the feeling that something mischievous was brewing in his mind. “Not gonna show you yet, though.”
“And break our promise?” you feigned hurt.
“Our promise was for me to show you when it’s finished, yeah?” his grin was far too proud, like he’d been waiting for his chance to pull something like this. It was a newer side of him you hadn’t quite gotten used to yet—playful, cheeky.
“The fine print, huh?” you clicked your tongue in defeat. “Alright, you win.”
“That’s two for me, so far.”
With the way he giggled, it felt more like a win for you.
A good half hour had passed before the two of you began any actual studying, and it wouldn’t have bothered you—not in the slightest—if you weren’t already concerned about taking up too much of Chan’s evening. It didn’t help that he seemed to be a bit unfocused today as well, prone to veering off topic even more so than usual and leaving his attempts at explaining the material harder to follow than ever.
He pressed his lips together into an uncertain line, squinting at his laptop screen as he tried to make sense of the application of Sommerfeld expansion. Absent-mindedly, he crossed an arm over his chest to cup his neck, biceps bulging in the process. You’d learned from your talks with him that he was a swimmer, but you hadn’t quite expected him to look like that beneath the oversized jackets and hoodies that he wore so religiously. It was hard not to stare, to admire every toned curve and vein that protruded ever so slightly when he flexed his muscles. 
You wondered what it’d be like to touch them; if they were as firm and powerful as they looked, or if they were surprisingly much softer, just like his demeanor. You also wondered how they might look beneath you, held down by your grasp.
“Sorry,” he sighed at last, bringing you back to your senses. “I’m not really sure about this one.”
You tore your eyes away from his arms, face heating up despite not being caught. “No worries.” You put your pen down. “Do you wanna take a break? I feel like we’re both kinda out of it tonight.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He looked relieved, and a bit self-conscious. “To be honest, I barely even understood this stuff when I was an astrophysics major.”
It was an offhand comment, but it caught your attention. You’d admittedly begun to assume as much after your second or third study group under his guidance, given the way consulted outside sources so often, but to have it confirmed brought about a whole new level of respect for Chan. And, maybe something else.
“Have you been learning thermo all over again just for me and Bin?”
His gaze fell, as if realizing in alarm that he’d inadvertently exposed himself to you.  “You could say that,” he chuckled awkwardly. “I actually think I’m studying more now than I ever did when I took this class.”
A part of you wasn’t sure whether or not to be bothered that you’d been tutored by someone who wasn’t exactly qualified for the past month and a half. But no matter how badly his act of selflessness could have ended up for all three of you, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel anything but affection for the boy. Well, that, and a bit of guilt for even putting him in this position in the first place. He’d gone out of his way to re-teach himself concepts that were by no means easy to grasp, solely for the sake of helping you and Changbin out. And he had. You knew for a fact that you’d not only seen improvement in your scores since meeting him, but in your confidence in the subject as a whole.
“You’re seriously too nice for your own good,” you murmured.
He reached up for his ear, tugging at his piercing. “It’s nothing, really.”
“It’s not,” you said firmly. “Not many people would do that, especially for a stranger. So, thank you.”
“Of course,” his voice was light. “We’re friends, after all.”
“Right.”
Friends. The first time he’d said it, you’d been doubtful—both in regards to whether or not you could actually call yourselves friends, and in his intentions in doing so. Hearing it now, you felt just as strange about it, but not for the same reasons. You could safely say you were friends, that wasn’t the problem.
The problem was, you wanted to be more.
“Did you like astrophysics?” you asked the question before you had the chance to say something else, something far more stupid.
“I did,” he sounded genuine, but tense. “Well, for the most part. It just felt like the most…practical thing I could do, y’know?”
“Can I ask why you changed majors?”
It was a detail that had been nagging away at the back of your mind since Changbin had first mentioned it to you. You weren’t sure why it felt so important to know, like an essential piece of the puzzle.
Chan paused, an uncomfortable look crossing his face. It barely lasted a second, but it instantly had you wishing you’d curbed your curiosity and said nothing at all.
“It’s kinda a long story,” he said slowly. You could tell he was trying to sound casual about it. His body language, however, was more than enough for you to see that he wanted to change the subject as quickly as possible. “I guess it was just something I needed to do at the time.”
“I understand,” you decided to drop it, for his sake. “No need to get into it, if you don’t want to.”
He gave you a grateful smile. “Some other time, yeah? Can’t be telling you my life story when I’m supposed to be helping you prepare for finals.”
You hummed softly in agreement, and just like that, the atmosphere was relaxed again.
Still, the question lingered in your mind.
。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。⋆。˚ ʚïɞ ˚。⋆。
It was inevitable to you, at this point, that any and all sense of time would be lost whenever you and Chan got to talking. What you’d intended to be just a short break from studying to recharge, eventually morphed into another hour and a half of you two chatting away—with a few failed attempts to get back to work here and there. That was why, when the clock struck 9:00 p.m. to mark your third hour with him, you were hardly surprised.
“Why don’t I walk you home? It’s late.”
You tried to ignore the way his offer made your stomach flip.
“Oh, no you don’t have to.” The words were out of your mouth like an instinct. It was tempting, so, so tempting, but you knew that any more exposure to Chan was sure to make your soft spot for him develop into something much more troublesome. “It's a pretty far walk.”
He tilted his head, confused as to why the distance was even worth mentioning.
“Ohh, I see,” his voice took on that same, unfamiliar quality from before. “You don’t wanna spend any more time with me, is that it?”
You blinked, scanning his face for some sign of hurt or offense. Instead, all you found was a playful smile, eyes crinkling and dimples flashing.
He was teasing you.
“You got me,” you played along, throwing your bag dramatically over your shoulder. “I only spend my Friday nights studying thermo with people I can’t stand.”
Chan giggled. It was shy and cute; the giggle of someone completely unaware of how enamored with him you really were.
“In that case, making me walk there and back shouldn’t be a problem, right? Since you hate me so much.”
You relented. It was a losing battle from the start, anyway.
The air had grown a bit chillier after sunset, which, much to your relief, meant Chan had thrown on a jacket and covered up his criminally distracting arms. You felt a strange sense of peace as the two of you strolled along the sidewalk out of his apartment phase, stealing glances at him as often as the streetlights would allow. He had his hands in his pockets, swinging them with each step he took and swaying his head along with the breeze that brushed through his curls.
It was hopeless. You were so hopelessly taken by him.
“There she is,” you remarked, slowing your pace to gaze upwards. “That moon you love so much.”
It reflected a pure, white light among the sea of stars, owning the sky in all its Waning Gibbous glory.
“Beautiful,” you heard Chan murmur.
You looked over at him, hoping to catch a glimpse of his eyes illuminated by the moon as he stared up in awe. Instead, you found him staring right at you.
He seemed taken aback for a moment. Even so, for once, he didn’t look away. He simply smiled.
Warmth spread through your chest, and you knew this time you couldn’t blame it on his body heat.
“I think you have us both beat,” you said softly.
At that, he broke eye contact. He ducked his head with a shy puff of laughter, pressing his cheek into his shoulder to hide his face. You rode the high of it for the rest of your walk home together.
The two of you were mostly quiet as you neared your apartment complex, letting the silence hang comfortably around you. Despite the long walk, neither of you were in any particular hurry, and when you approached the front gate of your building, you couldn’t help but feel that the time had slipped away from you all too quickly.
“Thanks again for walking me home,” you murmured. “You really didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to,” he grinned.
Your hand rested tentatively on the handle, not yet wanting this moment to end.
“Not gonna try to return the favor, are you?” His eyes sparkled in the low light. Even when he was messing with you, he still sounded seconds away from becoming flustered himself.
You smiled. “I’ve got something in mind.”
Before he could say anything else, and before you could second guess yourself, you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. It was quick and innocent, but it made his breath catch in his throat all the same. 
When you pulled back, Chan’s fingers came to hover over the spot your lips had been moments ago. You wished the lighting in the hallway was stronger, so that you could fully see the furious blush that you knew was spreading across his face.
His eyes flickered down to your lips. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t have to for you to hear him willing you to do it, begging you to do it.
So, you leaned in again and kissed him.
The heat that surged through you was different this time. It didn’t make you flinch or jolt back in alarm; it drew you in. However soft you’d imagined Chan’s lips to be—plush and heart-shaped and irresistible—the reality was infinitely softer.
Your hands reached up to cup his face. His warmth fed into yours, and vice versa, and somewhere in the back of your mind, it became clear that the fire had been coming from both of you this entire time. He sighed sweetly into the kiss, tilting his head forward, trying somehow to deepen it even further, like he wouldn’t satisfied until you were completely melded together.
The two of you might have stayed that way if your lungs hadn’t begun to cry for air. Reluctantly, you pulled away, leaving you both breathless and longing for each other’s warmth again. All the efforts you’d made to hold yourself back around him seemed so laughable now. You didn’t want him in moderation, you wanted all of him.
Chan’s eyes fluttered open, dark and dazed. The sight made you want to pull him inside with you, to take him apart bit by bit and put him back together again, over and over until you knew him inside and out.
Instead, you brushed your thumb over his burning cheek, touch harboring a gentleness that masked the ache inside you.
“Get home safe, Channie,” you whispered.
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flowercrowngods · 10 months
Text
hello i’m attempting something for steddie week too, but it'll be one large thing probably @steddie-week
day 01: pining
2 new messages
eddie The Problem munson: —steeb —esteban —stefano  —stevie —love of my life apple of my eye pls pls tell me i can call you  —i am very chill etc etc —no i’m not  —let me call youuuu  —😠🥺🙏
Steve snorts as he picks up his phone and reads Eddie’s messages that keep coming in his usual spam of consciousness, a giddy feeling spreading in his chest as he snorts and goes to answer. 
— Call me then, coward 
Not a second later, his phone rings. Steve picks up immediately, even though he considers making Eddie wait; just to be difficult. Just to calm his racing heart that is always so lively around Eddie. 
“What,” he says, attempting to sound bored and annoyed — in vain, because even he can hear the smile on his face. Traitor, he thinks to himself. 
“Steve,” Eddie sing-songs, drawing out Steve’s name like he does every time he’s happy. “Steve, Steve, Stevie.” 
“Ed, Ed, Eddie,” he sings back, relaxing into his couch and shutting the laptop. Lesson planning can wait, he decides, shuffling all the loose pages into the text book and placing his laptop on the pile, trusting that physics won’t betray him. “What’s got you so happy, hm?” 
“Why do you think I’m happy?” Damn idiot has a smile on his face as he asks that, Steve can hear it. It makes his own grin widen and he huffs into the phone. 
“I literally know you, babe.” 
Babe. His heart flutters every time he says it — and he tries not to, because it’s meaningless, it’ll never happen. But Eddie picks it back up every time, and Steve is weak. God, he is so, so weak. 
On the other end, Eddie hums and Steve basks in the sound for a moment. It’s always so contagious, Eddie’s happiness, and he wants to soak it all up. Wants to be the reason for it. Wants, wants, wants. 
“You do,” Eddie says, his voice so light and fond it makes Steve’s whole body tingle. And his heart flutter. And it fills him with such happiness that he feels like he could take on the entire world right now, just with the way Eddie’s voice went all soft on him. 
God, he’s hopeless. So, so hopeless. But he’s also weak. An addict, leeching off Eddie’s attention, getting a kick out of the smallest dose, and absolutely certain he couldn’t survive if it were taken from him. He needs it. Even if it kills him a little bit, because— 
“She said yes.” 
Steve blinks. “Huh?” 
“Chrissy. She said— She said yes, Stevie. We’re getting married.” 
He says it and he sounds so happy. So, so happy. And Steve is the world’s worst best friend for the way he freezes, the way he almost drops his phone if it weren’t for the vice grip he has on it, frozen in time and space because his heart has stopped beating. It has stopped, surely, because no beating heart can hurt this much. No beating heart can crack open and still work the way it used to three, five, seven seconds ago. 
Eddie, bless his entire soul, laughs to fill the silence, and it’s the happiest sound. A boyish one, like there is no pain in the world and not a worry on his mind. A bit hysterical, too. Like he can’t believe it himself yet. Like this is the best day of his life and saying it again has reminded him of it. At least that’s what Steve imagines it feels like when someone wants to be married to you. He wouldn’t know, of course, as the only person he would ever ask is already engaged to someone else. Apparently. 
Eddie is engaged. 
Engaged and laughing and so, so happy. 
And Steve feels nauseous. Dizzy. Breathless. His eyes begin to sting and the hand that’s holding his phone begins to tremble, his grip so tight it hurts. 
Steve feels… too much. His hands tremble and he tries hard not to cry. 
“You’re getting married.” 
“We’re getting married.” 
They’re getting married. 
Fuck. 
Someone has to tell Robin. Because in true Platonic Soulmate manner, Steve and Robin fell in love with the two people who are in love with each other. Like the chaotic mess they are. 
“Sorry I didn’t tell you about it sooner,” Eddie continues, a bit more sober now. Sounding genuine and sufficiently awkward about it, in true Eddie-manner. Like the big old softie he secretly is. “I would have, but…” 
But I know you’re in love with me and didn’t want to burden you with the love I carry for someone who isn’t you, Steve’s brain auto-fills helpfully. But you keep flirting with me and there was never room for someone else when I was with you. 
But, but, but— 
He swallows and drags in a deep breath past the pain in his throat where all the words he can never say are forming a massive lump. 
“Hey man, don’t worry about that, we all know I suck at keeping secrets,” he offers. And it’s a lie, because he has kept this one thing secret for years and years. This one thing, this huge and all-encompassing thing that he can feel in the tips of his fingers when he is texting Eddie, and on his tongue when they are talking, and in his heart even when he is sleeping. 
This one thing, this one secret, is his never-ending love for Eddie. 
And he will add another one to that, a lovely little friend for it. To keep it company. That other secret, of course, will be the way his heart has shattered into a million little pieces and will remain that way until he can’t even look at Eddie anymore. And even then will he look at Eddie and smile at him, and Eddie will smile back and the pain will flare up again.
Again and again and again, for the rest of their lives. Possibly even beyond that. 
“You do suck at that,” Eddie chuckles, though it is quieter this time, almost private. Fond. Gentle. Always, always like that. It used to mean something once. And if Steve closes his eyes, he can imagine that Eddie smiles his secret smile, the one Steve has only seen directed at himself. It almost breaks him. 
Eddie’s I have known you for a whole eternity and love you beyond words, silly, but you also make my life so much harder-smile. That’s what he has dubbed it because that is what Eddie had said the first time he smiled like that when Steve was drunk off his ass. 
But. But, but, but— 
It’s no use to think of that now, to reminisce and imagine what might have been if… Well. If Steve weren’t Steve. 
And that sure is a dark path he doesn’t want to trudge now, not in the face of the even darker path of Eddie getting married that he sure as hell will have to walk down for the rest of his life. 
He sighs and tries to think of something to say. Something good. Something that is not Please don’t marry Chrissy. Please don’t take yourself away from me. Please. Please don’t get married to anyone who isn’t me. Please open your eyes and see me, please listen to me, please understand what I say when I say I love you. Please.  
He kind of spaces out for the rest of the conversation, not really listening to Eddie’s words over the ringing in his ears and the pumping beat of his shattered heart. 
Eddie speaks softly to him, the undercurrent of happiness and contentment still in his voice, and it would give Steve life, it would be contagious, it would be so very precious if it didn’t also drive the knife of pain ever deeper into Steve’s entire soul, slicing him apart with no one around to put him back together again.  
Splitting him in half. One half that just wants Eddie to be happy, to sound like he does right now for ever and ever. And the other half, loathing that Eddie’s happiness is not inspired by him, not because of him, not in any sort of relation to him. 
It’s not fair. And Steve is torn. So he shuts himself off and lets Eddie ramble, tells him that he is tired after pulling an all-nighter again and wrangling the his difficult seventh graders that were particularly hard on him today when the other man asks him if he is all right. 
“Steve,” Eddie sighs, and a traitorous tear rolls down Steve’s cheek at the caring exasperation he hears there. “How often do I need to tell you that sleep is important? You’re gonna wear yourself out at this rate. And the kids just suck.”  
“I know,” he says, and sniffs, willing the tears to not fall. Not until Eddie has hung up on him. 
“Aww. That emotional, huh?” 
At that, Steve sobs out a laugh and gladly accepts the way out. “Well, excuse me, my bestest friend whom I love very much is getting married soon! Or, well, I hope it’s soon, nobody has time for all that suspense. Anyway, I am allowed to be emotional about this!” 
Eddie chuckles again and sighs gently. “Yes, you are. I’m glad you are. Thank you, Stevie.” 
Don’t thank me. Not for this. Not over this, please, don’t thank me. 
“Don’t thank me,” he says with a grin, and it hurts his cheeks from how forced it is. “Thank yourself for being brave enough to actually go through with the proposal! We both know you’re chicken shit.” 
Just like me, he thinks. Just like me. 
They laugh and it sounds hollow to Steve’s ears. He just wants the phone call to end, wants this to be over with. Wants them to not get married. Never, ever, in this life or the next. 
He wants… he wants Robin. No, he needs his best friend, his soulmate. He can’t cry alone, not about this. 
Eventually, Eddie hangs up, that smile still so audibly his lips, and that painful happiness still very clear in his voice. Steve wants to share it. But he can’t.
All he can do is stare at the phone in his trembling hand before he closes his eyes and lets himself cry, his head falling back against the couch until he slumps over to one side. He stares and he cries until he can’t anymore. 
Eddie. The love of his life. Is getting married. To Chrissy, the other, platonic love of his life, who is like a sister to him. Who, coincidentally, is the love of his real platonic soulmate’s life.
Fucking hell, the mess they find themselves in!
After a while of pitifully staring at the wall, all cried out and feeling thoroughly pathetic, he lifts his phone and speed-dials Robin. 
“Stevie?” 
He sniffs, and it must sound as awful as he feels, for her next words are, “I’ll be right there. Alcohol or ice cream?” 
“Both?” he whimpers after a moment, and Robin hums right back. 
“I’ve got you. I’ll be there in ten.” 
She hangs up before he can say anything more, and he is overcome with all the love he holds for her. 
As he waits for her to come over, he does not move from the awkwardly half curled-up position on his couch, the lesson plans for tomorrow forgotten completely. This is his life now. His Eddie-less life. His engaged-Eddie life. His loveless, hopeless, endlessly pitiful life. 
come back tomorrow for: bittersweet & angst | read here
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buckrecs · 1 year
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Hello! You are doing the lords work here on this blog🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 do you have any soulmate au recs? I know some people don’t like them so no problem if not and sorry if you’ve been asked before!
Soulmate AU
masterlist | req masterlist
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the knowing by @noctumbra
ten days later, james barnes got a call from the police.
for your love by @noctumbra
they were very young; a little shy from being fourteen at that time, but both of them knew they were it. soulmates.
The Owl and the Wolf by @waiting4inspiration
In a world where a person can their soulmate’s spirit animal speaking like a human, Bucky hears your owl’s voice one day.
Snowflakes by @all1e23
Steve drags Bucky to a Christmas festival to take his mind off the fact that he has yet to meet his soulmate.
Colors in the Dark | 2 by @buckychristwrites
The world is without color, and that’s never bothered the Winter Soldier. The Fist of HYDRA didn’t have time for love and soulmates. At almost a century old, what are the odds that his soulmate was even still living?
Say That Again by @justsomebucky
Everyone hears a key word or phrase in their head from their soulmate, something only heard in person when the moment is right.
Teddy Bear by @softlyspector
in which when one soulmate loses something, their other half finds it.
Winter Sun by @softlyspector
When you and Bucky are kidnapped, you find out just how far you would go to keep each other safe.
Assassination to Soulmates by @bxcketbarnes
See the World the Way You Do by @vanderlustwords
You start to see colour when you meet your soulmate. Bucky thinks that soulmates are a one of a kind thing—you get one and that's it. His world used to be colourful once and then he lost that. He's resigned to see black and white for the rest of his life...until flashes of colours would appear from the corner of his eye. And it seemed to happen more and more as Bucky spends time with you.
Stay Still | Please, don’t by @buckysknifecollection
What if your soulmate was the one person you had hurt the most?
Enchanted by @natasharomanovf
The reader is in a loveless relationship when she meets her true soulmate, Bucky.
what’s in a name? by @ciarawritesmarvel
When you love someone, their name appears on your shoulder. If it’s in blue, it’s unrequited. If it’s in red, it’s requited. The name turns black when your love dies. 
SERIES
Who I Was Looking For by @soopranatural
Even after you started wearing cuffs, the words are engraved in your mind as well as your wrist. You know you’re not destined for love as soon as you learn how to read. How could you? When the words “Sorry, you’re not who I was looking for” are written in black ink on your skin.
The Only Exception by @whitestarbucky
Humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. A lesson that taunted Bucky Barnes his whole life. Perhaps it was why he refused to believe in it. He couldn’t afford to. Then you came into his life to challenge his fears to their deepest degrees, not once, but twice. Whether he liked it or not.
A Moment Of Your Time by @stevesbestgirl
A soulmate AU where the headstrong reader realizes that she’s meant to love the brutal mob boss of New York City, James Buchanan Barnes. She doesn’t want to be a part of organized crime and she doesn’t want to rely on anyone, but how do you ignore your soulmate? 
Scars by @tokoyamisstuff
whatever you write on your skin, it appears on your Soulmate’s.
Flowers Bloom by @revengingbarnes
Whenever someone is injured, flowers bloom on their soulmate at the area of the wound. She is born with flowers around her entire left shoulder.
Heartbeat by @after-avenging-hours
Where your heartbeat matches the beat of your soulmate’s; they speed up together, slow down together, skip at the same time, but that means they also stop together...  
The Color of Blood by @theidiotwhowritesthings
In this world, a person didn’t discover color until they locked eyes with their soulmate. As an agent of SHIELD, finding your soulmate was hardly a priority. Especially since you were currently dealing with the shocking discovery that HYDRA had been pulling the strings behind SHIELD actions this entire time. Life was all about timing, and you were about to find out that your timing was absolute shit.
My night demons by @themorningsunshine
In which one can see their soulmate's dreams and communicate with them through those dreams.
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unclewaynemunson · 2 years
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Hello!
This post gives an overview of all my writing. All my fics are below the cut, and you can find my shorter ficlets & drabbles that I only posted on tumblr here :)
Normal things, baby! universe:
‘86, baby! (words: 58k) After they all survive Vecna (death? i don’t know her. and eddie definitely doesn’t either), everyone struggles with getting back to whatever “normal” is supposed to mean and new friendships are forged along the way, possibly even developing into something more eventually.
‘93, baby! (words: 2k) From Wayne’s POV, taking place 7 years after ‘86, baby! and reflecting on some of the moments from that fic, but also readable independently from ‘86, baby!
It’s Christmas, baby! (words: 5.5k) Four Christmas-themed oneshots that give some insight in the future after the events of ‘86, baby!
&Currently working on a Ronance-focused one taking place in the same universe :D
Fruity four fics:
Maybe if I was straight (words: 44k) AU based on the movie But I’m a Cheerleader, in which the fruity four meet each other because they end up in the same gay conversion therapy camp. Also, prepare for MANY supporting characters making appearances. And basically everyone is gay so that’s a bonus I guess.
The time of the year that you really need love (words: 14k) Christmas-themed fake-dating AU in which Steve and Robin, and Nancy and Eddie, pretend to be a couple.
Bee mine? (words: 5k) In which Steve and Robin are beekeepers, Eddie is a baker and Nancy a local journalist. The first chapter is all about Steddie and the second one about Ronance.
Steddie fics (mostly one-shots):
Friends don’t leave (words: 20k) In which Eddie leaves Hawkins, goes off the rails for a bit, and Steve continuously refuses to give up on him. (This was originally a one-shot so you can also only read the 1st chapter (words: 8k) if you prefer shorter fics)
It’s buzzcut season anyway (words: 2k) In which Steve finds out that Eddie’s hair is actually a wig.
The gayest chicken in Hawkins (words: 7k) In which a game of gay chicken between Steve and Eddie gets completely out of hand.
Beyond the yellow sweater (words: 3k) In which Eddie goes absolutely feral when he sees Mr. Harrington beating the shit out of Steve.
Basketball night (words: 1.5k) In which Steve is desperate to get Eddie's uncle to like him, and Eddie is just as desperate to get his uncle to like his boyfriend.
All I needed was the love you gave (words: 3,5k) In which Steve introduces Eddie to his parents.
Roses & Sunshine (words: 8k) In which Steve and Eddie meet at Hawkins’ community center. Eddie is there for guitar lessons, Steve for the daycare center. Misunderstandings ensue.
Not my type (words: 7k) In which Wayne meets Steve at a baseball match and wants to set him up with Eddie. Eddie is very much not into it.
Say you, say me (words: 3k) In which Steve and Eddie don’t quite have the same opinion about what Valentine’s Day is about.
The difference between a poem and a love letter (words: 5k) In which Eddie is a songwriter who likes to read poetry to find inspiration for new songs, and Steve a poet who finds his inspiration in music.
I will love your shadow (words: 3k) In which the bat-attack has left Eddie beyond repair and he has to come to terms with living with a stoma.
I’ll bring you flowers (in the pouring rain) (words: 7k) In which Eddie dates Steve without really believing he changed.
Until you face the rope (words: 5k) In which Eddie faces a trial for the crimes he didn’t commit.
Soul Mate (words: 1k) In which Steve and Eddie ponder what it means to get married and whether or not soulmates exist.
Ronance fics:
I’d kiss you if it wouldn’t kill me (words: 19k; inspired by Pushing Daisies but you don’t need to know anything about the show to read this) In which Nancy possesses the power to bring people back to life with a single touch. When Robin dies at the hands of Vecna, Nancy is there to save her. But there are some repercussions. The most important of them? If they ever touch again, Robin will die – and there will be no way back. After Vecna is defeated and Hawkins seems safe again, the two girls have to navigate what exactly this means for the bond they share.
Chamomile Christmas (words: 3k) In which Robin meets Nancy in a coffee shop on Christmas Eve.
The perfect girl for you (words: 9k) In which Wayne sets up Robin with Nancy, but things aren’t going as smoothly as Robin had hoped.
And suddenly we’re Thelma and Louise (words: 9k) In which Robin and Nancy make a roadtrip from Boston to Mexico, guided by a list of things Nancy feels like she missed out on during her college years.
The art of kissing a girl (That’s what friends are for, right?) (words: 4k) In which Nancy helps Robin prepare for a date with Vickie by giving her some kissing lessons.
Others:
I owe you nothing, I owe you my life (WIP) In which Eddie finds out that Karen Wheeler is his mother.
My life in the lines of your hand (words: 17k) In which the soft romance of my most beloved rarepair Wayne Munson and Scott Clarke gets explored through a series of defining moments for them.
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flwrshee · 9 months
Note
your moots as love troops?
enemies 2 lovers, etc.
yay moot game but this took me way too long lmao, if you want to be added just ask !
@chiyuv - definitely classmates to lovers for sure, i can imagine caelin admiring her crush *cough cough* from afar and hoping to get paired up with them in a lesson. also with a mix of academic rivals, trying to beat them in a test or exam.
@tnyhees - best friends to lovers, the feeling would be mutual but you both are to shy to confess, all the friendly hugs and silly jokes would make you thing about the love you had for one another.
@weoris - online friends to lovers, this is so random but i can imagine xin talking to her online friend but they get so close that she denies her feelings at first but then realises, she would want to meet them so bad and talk to them irl. it would such a cute love story.
@yenqa - enemies to lovers no doubt, she literally bullies me everyday so what do you expect /j but yen and that one person always hating each other but then their friends start teasing them and they realise that all the jokes and playful fights were actually love.
@maiverie - mutuals to lovers, mai and them would know each other from a friend. their small hangouts would become personal talks and they would start falling deeper inlove. also this would defo be a college campus love story with those cute science experiments together and lunch on the grass.
@hysgf - fake dating, mika seems like she would take up the offer but doesn't know that she'd soon fall inlove. hanging around as the fake couple would be easy until the small pecks and hugs made her feel that this had to be real and not pretend.
@enluv - co workers to lovers, coco is such a sweet person so her admirer would fall in love with her kindest and purity, they would look at you from afar and shyly ask you for a cup of coffee or a small chit chat which ends up with them asking you out.
@hoonvrs - friends to lovers, saint and that friend hanging out, making jokes, taking funny selfies. none of them thought that this would turn out to be affection and admiration for each other. their hearts were always right.
@seongclb - class partner to lovers, kat would be paired up with her long time crush for a project and she would be so giddy and happy. purposely inviting them over for study sessions and ditching her friends for them and saying it was for 'work'. two cuties in love.
@delcakoo - forbidden love, so sorry to make this angsty ema </3 them loving each other in secret because no one can know. their love can't be accepted but they want each other so bad that they cant let go just yet. secret kisses in the toilets, sneaking in their houses and comforting them while they're sad was normal for the two of you.
@hyhees - soulmates, you both were bound to find each other one way or the other. it could be someone you knew your whole life or a stranger that walked past you on the street but you find them you'll never let them go.
@latriii - childhood romance, silly promises like 'marry me when your older' or 'i love you, be my girl/boyfriend' were bound to break. not with my bae latri, childhood bffs stick together and you both end up actually falling in love, confessing by telling each other that you both 'kept' the promise.
@sngvhs - secret admirer, yen walking up to her locker greeted by her fav flowers, notes and chocolate became normal. her friends teasing her would make her want to know would the mystery person was. it would be a pleasant surprise of her crush or a person she had always admired.
@haknom / @hanniluvi - doing you together because you both would have the same trope of mistaken identity, yall are clumsy asses /j you guys would be the type to send a confession to the wrong person and form a friendship with them which turns into a relationship
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ksyongi · 1 year
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spin the bottle (M) MINORS DNI
pairing: lee chan x fem!reader
genre: fluff, soulmate au
warnings: smut, consumption of alcohol, cursing, kissing, oral male receiving, pet names, aftercare, lowercase post, drunk people/tipsy people, choking
word count: 2.7k
an: got this idea and decided to write it out in commemoration for my 500 followers and my 300th post on here,, tagging @dinosbestie because she gave me the confidence to make this idea into a short fic.
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soulmate ; a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
soulmate bond ; they share emotions, being able to feel what the other is feeling. they find out they are soulmates with a shock of waves sent through the first time upon contact.
in this case, you would say you were both. chan was practically your best friend for life. well how you became soulmates? it's less complicated than you think it is, really. in summary, you went to the same university. and it really was fate that you were put in the same class for the semester.
"alright, please introduce and pair yourselves up that person would be your partner for the term," your lecturer announced. students got up from their seats and swarmed around their other friends or even their already found soulmates.
suddenly the door at the bottom at the room slams open, "sorry i'm late! i kinda got lost." your lecturer takes a glance around the room. "oh i see everybody is paired up....oh! err.." he takes a glance at the boy next to him. "i'm lee chan sir." "alright how about you take a seat next to y/n, i don't think she has a partner. you nod as you take your bag off the vacant seat next to you.
'woah...he's hot...' your eyes widen when his features become clearer. his brown hair perfectly complementing his skin tone with the casual outfit he was using. "hi nice to meet you!" he chirps. "nice to meet you too." you smile kindly before focusing back on the lesson
you did not realize that you were soulmates that easily though, although your feelings were linked, you did not expect for his heart beating rapidly too when he saw you. hence, no suspicion when you felt your heart race.
however, when being paired up for work, there would somehow be some skin contact right..? but you found out that you were soulmates in the most unusual way possible. dropping your pen under the desk till it rolled to the area near him, he picks it up and passes it to you. your fingers barely touched his hand. you felt sparks tingle at the tips of your fingers. and that was it. the gasp that left your mouth and the way chan's eyes widened at the contact. you knew you were meant for each other.
---
"hey babe, wanna go to a party tonight at mingyu's place? the guys are gathering with a few others." shrugging, you reply "sure, i don't mind" "ughh i hate the fact that we are keeping the soulmate thing a secret from the otherss"  chan complains. "i mean we've agreed on it since the start. anyways its only for a few hours, we can cuddle when we get back. deal?" you challenge. nodding his head, chan replies, "deal."
"heyy!!" mingyu opens the door to his home, he was using a tight fitting black shirt that highlighted his built muscles. his glasses hanging at the tip of his nose. there was a strong scent of alcohol that reeked from him. there were faint sounds from the speaker further in the room. chan lets you go in first, being the gentleman that he is.
"make yourselves at home, and help yourselves to the beer in the fridge." mingyu comments before slinging his arm around the closest girl next to him. "he's so going to be wasted tonight." chan sighs.
walking into the living room and seeing your familiar faces as well as some others you have never even seen before. they all had cups or cans in their hands. either swaying to the music or totally drunk and all over other people. "i thought you said 'a few others' chan." you try and scream over the blaring music in the room. "it's kim mingyu, i mean what do you expect." nodding your head in agreement, you make your way to socialize with others.
you could tell chan kept an eye on those you communicated with. making sure they did not touch you anywhere. he was so close to putting his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. in his opinion, you could've used a looser dress. yes, he bought this dress for you but the way it hugged your curves that was only supposed for him to see made him even more protective. seeing how your hips sway with every step made him tightly shut his eyes and regret even looking. it wasn't really the right time to get hard.
walking up the stairs after mingyu told you two that a couple people would be gathering in one of the bedrooms. well, he didn't specify which one but you clearly avoided the ones with loud moans and banging. reaching the door right at the end of the corridor, turning the handle hoping to not walk into the wrong room.
the first thing you see is a tipsy soonyoung standing on the bed dancing to the nonexistent music "HEYY CHAN AND Y/N- I THINK IM FALLING OOOO-" soonyoung fell backwards, nearly hitting the bed frame. he sighs contently before grabbing the nearest pillow and hugging it until he dozed off. "hey guys, we're just waiting for mingyu if he even comes before another girl gets to him." letting out a laugh, you and chan decided to part ways and talk to others.
---
"wohoo let's get the game started." mingyu danced his way to the middle of the room before placing the soju bottle in his hand on the floor. "wait nobody told me we're playing spin the bottle." you whisper to joshua. "ah no worries, i mean we all haven't found our soulmates so its all just casual," he smiles. "yeah...casual.." you say under your breath.
"well wanna start from the oldest? there's loads of us here so lets go one round only?" seungkwan says. "yah. you're only sabotaging me at this point," seungcheol sulks but proceeds to spin the bottle. there were about 5 girls and the 13 of the boys. so that makes you the second last to go. when the bottle ends up on jeonghan, his eyes go wide. he quickly goes towards jeonghan and places a peck on his lips before removing any remains from the kiss in his mouth by gulping down a newly opened can of alcohol.
"oh let me add a rule, if the bottle ends up on somebody of the other gender, it ain't gonna be just a peck like that. how about kissing the person for 5 minutes sound?" jeonghan states with a proud smirk. murmurs around the room arose with nods of agreement. he spun the bottle and the bottle ended up pointing at one of the girls in the room. "you put this upon yourself." seungcheol states with a giggle.
sighing, jeonghan rolls his eyes before capturing the girl's lips in a kiss. his eyes kept darting to the sides trying to see how much time was left. the way that he looked so uncomfortable and awkward. his hands stuffed in his pockets and he was standing so stiff.
"andd time's up." jun raises his phone showing the time. jeonghan just walks away with the unhappiest look on his face while he gulps down the last bit of alcohol in his cup and plopping himself in a seat.
all of them took turns. chan and you had yet to not need to kiss anybody yet. but his eyes stayed locked on the bottle when it became close to landing on you. when vernon's turn ended, you got nervous. the thought of you having to kiss anybody other than chan got you to feel out of place. anyways, the whole game you've been lucky and it hasn't landed on you so. you were lucky.
you slowly take the bottle in your hands and spin it. intensively looking at it praying it stopped at chan. when it was slowing down, it was pointing at him. silently celebrating and hoping it would not move anymore. but luck was not on your side today. it shifted to the left by the slightest. you looked up and saw it was vernon.
'no its alright, y/n he's a chill guy. don't worry alright. just for five minutes..." you stand up and walk over to him leaning on the desk. his eyes were slightly hooded, 'he's tipsier than usual.... this ain't gonna go well..." he rests his hands on your shoulders and pulls you close to him.
vernon does not waste time in capturing your mouth in a kiss. he bit your lip, causing him to let out a groan and giving him some access to explore your mouth. some gasps were heard around the room. well you had to kiss him back if not they'll probably ask you to redo the whole 5 minutes so you wrap your arms around his neck, placing with the strands of hair on his head, lightly pulling them making him make even more deep groans. you could felt a strong feeling of jealousy, the soulmate bond...oh crap. 'just a few more minutes...' you thought to yourself. you felt him smile against your lips and his hands had now moved to around your waist.
you felt somebody pull you apart and you see its your boyfriend. he had a dark gaze and looked furious. the feeling of jealousy never left. "you've been on it for 7 minutes. woah.." seokmin gapes. so you've been kissing vernon for more than you should've and in front of everyone? shaking your head and waving your arm dismissively, chan still hasn't looked you in the eye since the little incident...
he takes the bottle and spins it effortlessly. and of course it had to land on eunjoo. she'd been eyeing him the whole night.
she had the happiest smile on her face as you could only just crush the can in your hand. "woah..you okay?" minghao asks. "yeah, don't worry about me."
chan was seated on the bed. soonyoung flat on the bed next to him. she walked over to him and you did not expect him to pull her onto his lap? she placed her arms on his shoulders in a straddling position. she eagerly presses her lips onto his as he almost instantly grants her access to his mouth. it looks as if he's focused on the kiss too.. tonight was going to be a looong night.
---
bidding your goodbyes to those who weren't totally passed out, you call an uber.
climbing into the car, no words were spoken. you faced the window at your side and chan faced the window of his. you were both fuming at that point.
reaching your house, you take out your keys from your purse and open the door. sighing as the door closes behind you, chan walks behind you and slams you on the wall.
his hands grabbing your wrists and pinning you to the wall. "ah, you really decided to play with me tonight didn't you baby?" he places a soft kiss on your lips. it actually scared you how he's handling you right now. "how about you be a good girl and don't disobey me any further?" he loosens the grip on your wrists and places his lips on yours.
catching him off guard, you flip yourselves around so he is now against the wall. using your hand to wrap around his throat and applying the lightest pressure made a loud moan come from him. the way it made his breathing faster and his vision hazy made him go crazy. "you weren't a good boy either weren't you?" you slowly lean towards his ear, "bedroom. make sure every article of clothing is discarded when i get there if not somebody is going to receive a punishment."
chan hurries to the room as you quickly put aside your purse and accessories.
"good boy" you purr when you see him sitting in the middle of the bed, hands on his thighs. eyes wide as he watches your every move.
slowly kneeling down and trailing kisses from his chin to his neck, placing some hickies on the way all the way down to his torso then to his thigh....slowly and teasingly placing kisses on his length. you lick a strip all the way down his dick and back up, some precum leaking out of his length in the process. you swirl your tongue around his length and place your tongue flat on his tip earning a moan from him. chan's hand found your hair as he grabbed a handful of it and pushed your head in, making you deepthroat him. the need to gag arose but you fought it off, "no touching honey, unless you want to have a punishment." you replace your mouth with your hand as you pressed your lips against his, muffling his moans.
you decide to tease him further. slowing down your actions earning a whine from him. "please.." he whines. "what do you want baby?" "please let me cum." "beg." "please i've been a good boy, please.." "good boy."
you quicken the motion of your hand as chan lets out higher pitched and louder moans. his climax was rapidly coming. his chest arising faster with every quickening breath as he started thrusting his dick into your palm. "i'm coming" he breathlessly says. chan's climax crashed, spilling his cum all over your hand. the second he had the chance, he got on top of you.
"alright. now, how about i correct you for your behavior today baby. you've been a bad bad girl." chan's eyes darkened in colour. the aura he held was scary but it made your thighs clench. gathering the remains of his cum from his dick, "open." he commands. you oblige and he places his cum filled fingers in your mouth. you suck his fingers, swirling your hands around his digits, not wasting a single drop. "i've taught you well didn't i? but maybe i have to remind you of who you belong to tonight hm?"
ripping the dress off you, you gasp. "that was my favorite dress.." chan scoffs. "i can buy you another, that's not the fucking concern at the moment." you hastily remove your undergarments as he marked you up. you've fed chan's ego too much already, you will not be able to walk for the next few days.
lining himself up with your entrance, he slowly inserts himself. after a minute or so, he asks "can i move yet?" his eyes softening at the slightest. "yes you can channie." you let out a moan from his pace. the way he snapped his hips backwards and forwards in a steady rhythm at such a brutal force caught you off guard. chan pushes your knees to your chest before thrusting even harder and deeper. moans arose from both of you as the room began to feel hotter. feeling that chan hit your g-spot, "there. channie that spot please." he complied, "who do you belong to y/n?" "lee chan." "louder." "LEE CHAN." "fuck- you sound so fucking hot right now." "who can fuck you this good?" "you, lee chan. nobody else." "good girl."
chan's pace slowed down slightly, signaling his release coming. your climax was coming too, you grabbed hold of his free hand and intertwined your fingers. "i love you y/n." "i love you too chan."  your climaxes crashed onto both of you, chan spilling his load onto the sheets. chan collapsed onto the empty space next to you. "no more spin the bottle. ever again." you say, trying to steady your breathing. "yes i agree." he giggles.
soon after you calm down, the feeling of the soiled sheets got you both cringing. "let me prepare you a bath darling, i'll clean the sheets." nodding your head tiredly, you waddle to the toilet and watch him prepare the bath. "i'll join you soon okay? i'll be quick." chan grabs your hand as he holds you until you are seated in the bath. "thank you chan." "no worries, i love you." with that, he walked out of the room.
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istaricelebelasse · 9 months
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Soulmates receive each other’s scars with Russingon…
They both have scrapes and falls in Valinor. Maitimo finds himself with a long scar down his side from where Findekano fell out a tree. Findekano has a minor stab scar from Tyelkormo’s first archery lesson (which Maitimo still brings up when his brother is annoying, one cannot beat the ‘you shot me’ rejoinder after all.)
(Neither of them mention the scar that dances along their collarbones. The one from a fish spear.)
And then, partway across the Ice, more scars appear. Findekano watches them bloom across his skin and finds himself praying that they do not stop coming.
(Finds himself praying that Maitimo still lives.)
Maitimo knows every scar on his body. The burns and brands, the lashes and cuts, he knows them as well as he knows his brothers.
A new one appears, one with no pain behind it, and he smiles. It is not Prince Maitimo’s smile, but it is a smile nonetheless.
He traces it with absent fingers. Traces the shape of a burn across his hand and knows the path that Findekano has chosen.
(Sauron finds his smile. Finds the new scar. Happiness is not allowed in Angband, nor is comfort. Sauron takes great joy in pressing a brand atop the scar he did not make.)
The scars just make Findekano more sure that Maitimo is alive. The scars just make Findekano more determined to rescue him.
Fingon bears a scar around his right wrist for the rest of his life. It is a scar he bears with pride.
Maedhros carries the lashes from Gothmog’s whip for the rest of his life. They are scars he wears with sorrow.
And yet it is the loss of those scars when he is finally re-embodied that hurts most of all.
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kairakeiji · 2 years
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“do you believe in soulmates?”
osamu’s head lifts slightly from the desk to stare at you, “that’s a very random question to ask.”
“i’m curious,” you retort before you rest your head on the desk, mirroring his actions. “do you think there’s someone out there that’s meant for you?”
“why would i wonder something like that if you’re sitting here next to me?”
“samu i’m serious,” you sigh.
“well i am too,” he reassures, “i wouldn’t be dating you now if i didn’t think you weren’t meant for me.”
“okay,” you mumble, refusing to meet his gaze. “let me rephrase the question then.”
“do you think we’re soulmates?”
he answers without a beat.
“yes.”
and it makes your heart race.
“why?” he questions, “do you not think we’re soulmates?”
you straighten up instantly, “no! i mean we are, i definitely think we are it’s just,” you sigh. “okay you know how people sometimes call others their soulmate?”
“sure,” he nods.
“and that they often call other people their soulmate while still calling that one other person their soulmate?”
osamu can’t help but laugh, “i feel like you’re complicating this.”
“just hear me out,” you shake your head, not missing the way osamu goes silent. “i believe there are multiple soulmates for one person. platonic ones, romantic ones, ones that are meant to be there for certain life stages, ones to teach you lessons, and then there are the ones who stick around forever.”
osamu sits up, “which one do you think i am then?”
“hopefully the romantic one,” you giggle with a small smile, “but also the one who sticks around for life.” you meet his gaze, “i don’t want you to be some kind of lesson, nor someone that’s around for just a small part of my life.”
you exhale before your hand reaches up to his cheek.
“i want you to be around for real.”
a small grin appears on his face at your words. “good.”
you blink, “what do you mean good?”
“that’s good,” he only hums, keeping his gaze on you, “i’m glad we’re on the same page then.”
you can’t help but relax at his words, “good,” you sigh. “what about you?” you ask, “you dodged my question earlier.”
osamu thinks for a moment, “honestly, i’m not big on soulmates,” he hums.
you quirk a brow, “why’s that?”
“because there might be someone out there who’s destined to be my perfect partner, maybe it’s not you, and maybe i’ll never meet them in the future. but i have you, and even if we aren’t destined for each other, we make each other happy and we make things work,” he sighs.
“i wouldn’t trade any kind of soulmate bond for that.”
your heart skips a beat, “do you think i’m your destined partner?”
“i like to think so,” he mumbles, “i mean in all aspects of the word, you’re perfect for me. but enough about the soulmate talk,” he reaches forward to cup your cheeks, eyes meeting yours. “i know how you like to overthink, don’t overthink this.”
“i won’t,” you try to say despite the way he squeezes your cheeks together.
he only smiles, “you’re the one for me. soulmate or not, you’re the only one i want, the only one i’ll want until the end of my days,” he reassures. “okay?”
you nod, “okay?”
he laughs before pressing a kiss against your rather smushed lips, “good, i’m glad we’re on the same page.”
“i don’t want anyone else either,” you say before he releases his grip on your cheeks. “only you samu, you’re all i want.”
he smiles before pressing your lips against his once more, “soulmate or not, he whispers, “i love you.”
“and i love you,” you grin against his lips.
“nothing’s going to change that.”
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is this inspired by a conversation i had with my friend last night? yes.
thanks for reading! reblogs/interaction are always appreciated <3
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givemebeansnow · 2 years
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Beans' Arcane Masterlist
Writing for Silco currently, but Viktor is also in the works.
last updated 15.10.2022
Multi Chapters
The Barriers We Aim To Break 18+
SIlco x f!reader, Soulmates AU, topsider!reader, symbols as soul tethers, romance, slow burn, adversaries to lovers
Prologue
Chapter 1 (TBA)
Synopsis:
Ever since you were a little girl you had dreamt of being gifted with a soulmate. Someone to love and be loved by unconditionally. Bound by fate, meant to be together until the very end of time itself. It seemed like a reasonable wish, however rare such an honour was bestowed by the universe, after all your own parents were bonded by destiny, each marked with a symbol of their partner.
But a soul bond doesn't guarantee a life of happiness, that you lesson you learn even before meeting your own partner. And it doesn't help either, that Silco, this alleged businessman from the Lanes, seems to have a personal vendetta against everything you represent about topside as well as being hellbent on crossing your plans of rising within the ranks of Clan Ferros.
And the more you make moves against each other, the more difficult it becomes to deny that the symbols marking your bodies were stringing the two of you closer and closer together.
Smear Campaign 18+
Silco x OC, smut, eventual romance
Chapter 1 (TBA)
Sneak peek
Synopsis:
Ilka Rosalynd (OC) is an information broker, working under the cover of managing a newspaper agency who is very interested in Silco's rapid progress of reforming the Undercity.
She's sure it's going to be beneficial to support him with a bit of poitive propaganda. Of course, she'll also profit by selling anything useful she can syphon from the Industrialist to his rivals. A girl's gotta earn her bread somehow.
Silco's having a bit of trouble managing opinions of him following his takeover of the Lanes. Fortunately a well respected reporter is willing to boost his reputation whist filling her own pockets. But her backstabbing is only going to go unnoticed for so long...
One Shots
Beating Heart (TBA) 18+
Silco x gn!reader, oral sex (Silco recieving), bad humour
It's me SFW
Silco x gn!reader, angst, break up, dissociative behaviour, implied death at the end but there's technically a follow up
Punching Bag 18+
Silco x f!reader, spit kink, hand kink, kink shaming(?)
Miscellaneous
Silco Dammit Doll tw death
demon!Silco drabble (soon to be a one shot) NSFW-ish
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missing pieces
ch. 2 – letter
She’s not sure she’ll ever be sure what she was thinking, writing that letter.
It was the product of an aching heart; a broken soul. Her deepest fears slipping through the cracks and, for the first time, no one was there to help her tape herself back together. It was all the things Greta wanted to say to Carson, and all the things she wished deep in her heart of hearts that Carson would prove her wrong on.
But she knew that wouldn’t happen.
People like her weren’t built for things like that – big, romantic moments, and a happy ending before the credits rolled up.
So, Greta Gill wrote (only a few lines, but shared her feelings like never before). And then, Greta Gill fled (like she always has, and always will).
Because Jo had been right, hadn’t she? This is just who she is.
For a moment, there – too caught up in the whirlwind of the devastating bliss that was sneaking around with Carson Shaw, – Greta had almost managed to forget herself. Now, she wonders who that person even is.
They were supposed to be a team, her and Joey. A matching set. And it never mattered if their surroundings changed too soon to lay down any roots, or if that was the idea all along; wherever they went together, they’d be home.
In a way, Josephine DeLuca has been the only home Greta has ever really known. And she was content with it – couldn’t, wouldn’t, ask for more, – because she’d met her soulmate before she knew what that meant, and life has taught her more than one lesson on how wanting other long-lasting relationships (even if differing in nature) was simply greedy.
They spoke a language made just for the two of them; wrote each line of every page of their story together, then gathered them all into books to be arranged on a hidden shelf, in a library deep into a world inhabited by only the two of them.
They worked, and they were good for each other.
Or so, Greta thought.
“It’s who I was, too,” her mind plays on repeat, no sign of stopping anytime soon.
How long has Jo been feeling that way? How many cities did she drag her best friend to and from without realizing that she was only servicing herself? How many lives did Jo give up, in favor of trailing after Greta towards whatever shiny town she set her sights on next?
How did she not notice she was hurting the one she’s always claimed to know like the back of her hand?
Then again, that’s just what she does, isn’t it?
Whether it is by the power of a God she doesn’t believe in, of Lady Luck, or that of her own selfishness, Greta Gill hurts people.
It’s one of the countless reasons why she tries her best not to keep them.
Expecting that rule to not apply to Joey was naïve, and she should have known better.
But she’ll be damned if she has to add Carson to the list of people left damaged in her wake.
It’s that thought that gets her through packing her belongings in a hurry, and leaving out the side door; but not before leaving Carson an explanation, because she deserves it – deserves to know she’s not the burden that made Greta leave (that she may very well have been the first thing in a very long time to make her want to stay.)
By force of habit, she nearly buys two tickets instead of one after getting to the train station, but her escape is otherwise simple enough, all the Peaches too shaken by the day’s events to notice another one of them gone. Quite honestly, even under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t expect many of them to notice her absence right away, and as it turns out, the one who might do so today ran off before Greta could actually say, “it’s over.”
Which is probably for the best, because she wouldn’t have been able to.
The pang in her chest upon watching Carson make herself comfortable in another person’s arms was a cruel addition of insult to injury. It’s still there, not in any way dulled, but acute and alive, because that’s the price of having a heart that once again beats and heals at the mere presence of its chosen One: it also bleeds. Even that is for the best, though. Carson is safe in the arms of her husband (most importantly, she is safe away from Greta).
So, it may have been a tad reckless to leave that letter behind, but it’s what she needed to do. Now, she can look forward – on to the next speeding train; to the next fruitless adventure, – and focus on what she’s good at.
And- Alright, she may be throwing herself a bit of a pity party, here, but Greta reckons that in light of recent events, she’s earned that much. Besides, if the one person who knows all of her (or as much as she’ll allow), told her that leaving when things get hard is who she is, then she should probably listen to that, right? No point in trying to stay, when staying would do no one any good.
Of course, this time is different. This time, Greta Gill is utterly alone.
Oh, well.
Perhaps that’s just how it was supposed to be all along.
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Navigating the Indian Tech Landscape
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Choose React Native for your project because it's not just a technology; it's a way to connect people across different devices. India, with its vibrant tech community, offers a rich pool of talent ready to turn your digital ideas into reality. Using React Native, companies can make meaningful connections and explore India's tech scene for partners who can help bring your vision to life in a straightforward, effective way. 
Learn more about The Heartbeat of India's Tech Ecosystem
Plunge into the heart of India’s tech scene, and you’ll discover a beat that’s energising yet reassuringly familiar. An intersection of technology and tradition, innovation powered by centuries-old culture, every solution is bespoke care. Tech is such a colossal, wide community – it's big – not just in what it does but the partnerships it makes every single day out of mutual understanding and respect as well as the shared joy of creation—a place where each interaction can be converted into an opportunity to learn and grow together.
The Search for the Artistry of React Native
Well, this is just yet another adventure when you’re looking to hire react native developers in India, filled with lessons as enriching as educating. These developers aren't just techies; these are artists and storytellers; every line of code is a verse in a larger epic of innovation. To engage them would be to open a door to limitless opportunity, where cost-savings meet unparalleled skill, and scalability is literally a conversation away. Certainly, it's a ride of connection that you should actually be arising with future minds getting crafted one app after the other through platforms that bring you closer than ever imaginable.
Pick Your Digital Cohort
Finding that one hybrid app development company from India would be like finding a soulmate - a company that does not just roll with your idea but complements it with its own outlook and expertise. It is about projecting beyond the portfolio into the people behind the projects, learning of their journey and how well up with yours. It is a choice not just of skill but one of the heart where devotion and enthusiasm are mutual foundations for a project that’s much more than just successful—it’s powerful.
Embarking on a digital transformation journey requires more than just technical skills; it calls for a partnership that resonates on a deeper level. This is where BuzzyBrains comes into the picture, setting itself apart as not just any hybrid mobile application development company in India but as your digital soulmate. With BuzzyBrains, it's not about merely executing a project; it's about embracing your vision, enhancing it with its unique blend of expertise and insight, and driving it toward a destination that exceeds expectations.
Software Testing Symphony
In the creative world, to make perfection blooming-ness it needs a flair of precision as well as elegance. The software testing companies in India are your partners in the pursuit of this perfection, ensuring that your digital possession is garlanded with the epitome of glory looming and reigning in sublime stature. These are partnerships founded on trust and expertise where every test is one step further towards excellence. The good news is that selecting your testing partner is an act of faith—a decision to place your creation in the hands dedicated to polishing it until it shines.
Tales of Shared Success
Its true wins are in the success stories that have been scripted along this journey—a start-up that's grown wings with an app built in partnership between Indian and American talent or the new health platform gaining a reputation for reliability through some of the most advanced testing in the world. These narratives are testimonies not only of possibility but also call upon what can happen when hearts and minds come together in the meeting of digital excellence.
The journey through India’s tech landscape is one that counts as an adventure in finding, connecting and sharing success. It’s a testament to the power of dehumanising tech, of finding not just partners but allies in the quest to bring digital dreams to life. It is across this lively atmosphere that you will journey, knowing that the real value lies in those connections and in the stories. Here's to the start of a journey where gathering on abstract borders becomes meaningless, invigorated by partnership and fed by the windfall of innovation. Welcome to the centre of India's tech community, where each and every connection counts hands in taking a step further towards a brighter and more connected future.
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Dear Reader,
All my life, I felt alone, I felt like I was invisible.
And you can say to me, but Giih who never felt like this once in this life?
I know. Everyone.
But have you ever felt like, you're only a nuisance? That your holding, everyone you love, down?
I'm used to this feeling, and I know it's awful, but sometimes it's life.
Sometimes people are lucky enough to be born in a wonderful family, with of course problems, but with so much love, that was not my case.
My parents hate it each other, they had the definition of a Toxic/Abusive, all the freaking red flags kind of relationship.
My mother is a jealous, envious, controlling, manipulative, compulsive cleaner, rich, spoilled, woman, who's favorite activity besides shopping more than she can afford and later cry for someone to help her, is humiliating others, yes this includes me very much.
My father is a controlling, manipulative, the holder of the truth in the world, I have no problems, spoilled man, the youngest of 7, of a family that did not have that much money, who's favorite activity is to determine what everyone should or not do and how something should be done, besides of course be emotional abusive and of course, have no problem hitting anyone, yes, again, this very much includes me. (Not that my mom has a problem in hitting people too).
And of course both extremely narcisist.
So as a child, of only 4 years old, I had to separate them when they fought before it got to big of fight, or they would hit each other and hurt each other.
This was my job, and I saw mutiple times, this, my mother once punched my father in the face and his glasses sinked on his skin, his was holding me, he had to beat her in order for her to stop. The motive of the fight you ask me? My brother kicked her car's tire, once, my brother was 8 years old, he is deaf, and have what I think is a light to moderate intellectual disability.
My mother loves to parade around town with my brother to say how good of a mother she is, but she only cares for him, because his is her golden goose, she didn't even let him learn sign language, so he would be completely at her mercy, that's how mean and cruel she is. And in her promenades around town with him, when I left home to my english lessons, when I returned (my teacher used live very close), she was already out, and I was all alone in the street, hungry, sometimes cold, when my teacher was home she let me stay.
And yes, my father knew, he just didn't care.
So yes, I grew up feeling like a problem, because my mother could at least pretend she loves my brother, and my father is the best to everyone.
So the problem was clearly me right? I was the one who's obviously was not worth it of being loved not even in pretending.
The problem is this broke me so much that I still feel like this, I am not worth it, and the other problem ? Is that I wish so hard to be loved, that someone will love me like in a farytale, because my only comfort as a child was Disney princess, and I'm a hoppeless romantic that believes in soulmates and in "They lived happily ever after".
But I know I cannot find love without loving me first, this is one of the motives that I'm writting right now, maybe we can help each other to love ourselves, to be kind with ourselves.
Because I'm tired of feeling like a nuisance, and a problem and the pathethic daughter of them, I want to be free of everything that holds me down.
And I know that even if it takes time, I will be free. We all are.
Love,
Giih.
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gotnofucks · 4 years
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(updated 26 October 2021)
MARVEL 
+++++
Steve Rogers
One-Shots
Choose :  Steve realizes he can’t let you go when you’re stuck in a safe house with him (dark!steve x reader)
Ball's In Your Court : Steve and Y/n have been playing games for years. But now that Rogers is acting like a little bitch, Y/n throws him a curve ball that will either make them or break them.
Pot of Gold : You went broke and bet your pussy.
Special Training : Steve takes special interest in your training (dark!Steve x Reader)
Nectar: Steve's waited a long time to have you again after the birth of your daughter. (soft!dark King Steve x Reader)
Their Poison : A billionaire, a sorcerer and a soldier walk into a bar. Their only poison of choice is you. (Dark!Steve x dark!Tony x dark!Stephen x reader)
The Airport Cliché : You make sure your love story has the necessary cliché to make it legit.
No One's Bitch: If Steve thought you'll bend to his will, he was dead wrong. This kitty has some claws (dark!Steve x Reader)
Bartered: You were his, despite wearing another man's ring on your hand. (Dark!Steve x Reader)
Renewing Vows: Steve reminds you of your promises as his wife. (Dark!Steve x Reader)
Colour Me Red: Your boss is chasing you like the proverbial hound of hell, and one vibrant shade of red is going to be his undoing, and yours.
Midnight Adventures: He thinks you’re trying to escape him, even though he’d made it clear who you belong to. Though the truth is far more innocuous than that. (soft!dark Steve x Reader)
Lover's Quarrel: You have the powers to resurrect if you’ve been murdered, and a jealous Steve Rogers indulges heavily in your abilities. He would not let you steal his best friend, that was for sure. So what, if your rivalry regularly caused fire and harm to public property? You just couldn’t let the other win.
The Journey to Daddy: Five times you call Steve 'daddy', and one time he asks you to.
In Mind and Heart : When your former supersoldier lover shows up at your door a year later, the last thing you expect him to do is ask for another fuck. You let in him because of friendship, and he refused to let you go because of love. This was not how it was supposed to go. (Soft!dark Steve x Reader)
Murder at the Whorehouse : When Sergeant Barnes assigns you a murder case at the brothel, you didn’t know you’d cross paths with Steve Rogers who was a bigger mystery than the case itself. (Ft. Stucky x Reader)
Series
At His Alter: You fall in love with a man already belonging to someone else. (Priest!Steve)
Condemned To Him: It’s hard to love someone you were meant to hate. But Steve doesn’t care, and he will have your love no matter how much you deny it. (soft!dark!Steve x Reader)
Happily Ever After : Steve won't take no for an answer (dark!Steve x Reader)
Happily Ever After-2 : You are welcomed in your new life, as the bride of Steve Rogers (dark!Steve x Reader)
Drabbles/Blurbs/Headcanons
Post Traumatic Fuck Fest (Steve Rogers)
Please Hurt me (Mob!Steve Rogers)
Peeping Tom (Steve Rogers)
+++++
Bucky Barnes
One-Shots
Madness, Thy name is Barnes: You and Bucky put on a show for the team
Night Ritual : You and Bucky have a night time ritual
Lovely Shade of Green : Jealousy is a very good look on your boyfriend
Fallen Together : Bucky and you spend a winter morning in each other's arms
Hide-And-Eat : Nothing stops Bucky when he's hungry for you.
Gluttony is a Sin : You and Bucky put a little something extra in your food and Sam learns Gluttony is a sin for a reason
Promised to Him : You return back to your town after years, hoping to start anew. But faces of the past reappear, set to fulfill promises you had made years ago. (dark!Biker!Bucky x Reader)
To the beat of sin : In the heat of music, you do something that makes Bucky mad. He reminds you of who you belong you, but you have a lesson for him too. (rockstar!Bucky x rockstar!reader)
The Second Coming: You were about to marry the love of your life. You were ready to be happy and determined to be a good wife. But then he returned. Your past came into your life to remind you that he would never let you go, and there is little you could do to stop him. (Royal AU) (dark!Bucky x Reader, ft. Peter Parker)
A Sack of Skin: You had thought burying him would have rid you of him. But he came back to haunt you in the worst way possible. (Dark! Ghost!Bucky x Reader, Possessed!Steve x Reader)
Drabbles/Blurbs/Headcanons
A love there is no cure for (WS Bucky)
+++++
Steve x Reader x Bucky
One-Shots
Going Against Nature : Steve and Bucky would change the laws of nature if that’s what would take to make you theirs. or: Steve and Bucky don’t like it when you smell like Peter Parker. (dark!alpha!Steve x reader, dark!alpha!Bucky x reader) A/B/O
Meet the Parents : You're daddies little girl and Peter wants to take you out (featuring Peter Parker)
Murder at the Whorehouse : When Sergeant Barnes assigns you a murder case at the brothel, you didn’t know you’d cross paths with Steve Rogers who was a bigger mystery than the case itself.
Series
•Master of His Own Fate: As far as Bucky knew, fate would not decide who you belong to. Very twisted dark soulmate AU.  (dark!Bucky x Reader, dark!Steve x Reader)
Master of His Own Fate-2
•Their Surrogate : When Steve and Bucky ask you to be the surrogate mother for their child, you couldn’t say no. (dark!Steve x Reader, dark!Bucky x Reader)
Their Surrogate - 2 Their Surrogate-3 (completed)
Drabbles/Blurbs/Headcanons
Bound and Blindfolded (Stucky x Reader)
+++++
Stephen Strange
Congruence :  Stephen and Loki want you. You are confused. Wong is an angsty person. (featuring Loki)
Their Poison : A billionaire, a sorcerer and a soldier walk into a bar. Their only poison of choice is you. (Dark!Steve x dark!Tony x dark!Stephen x reader)
+++++
Loki
Congruence :  Stephen and Loki want you. You are confused. Wong is an angsty person. (featuring Stephen Strange)
+++++
Tony Stark
Series
•My Little Girl:  Prince Tony hunts you on the royal hunting trip (dark!Tony Stark x reader)
My Little Girl - 2:  Prince Tony has taken you, but keeping you proves more difficult that he imagined. (dark!Tony Stark x reader, slight dark!Steve x reader)
My Little Girl-3
One-Shots
Their Poison : A billionaire, a sorcerer and a soldier walk into a bar. Their only poison of choice is you. (Dark!Steve x dark!Tony x dark!Stephen x reader)
+++++
Peter Parker
Protected : How were you to know who's a monster, who's a savior when they all hide behind a mask (dark!Peter x reader)
Meet the Parents : You're daddies little girl and Peter wants to take you out (featuring Stucky)
+++++
SamBucky
Parts of Whole: Steve would see his OTP's ship sail, even from across the grave (ft. Steve Rogers)
Sam Wilson
To Sin in Love: You're forced to choose between the man who owns your heart and the one who owns your soul. (Ft. Lucifer)
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RANSOM DRYSDALE
One-Shots
One Day :  Ransom meets sub!reader but she won’t kneel for him
Thirty One Days : Ransom and you are on a month-long challenge. Who will win and what are the stakes?
The Unreformed Rake: Ransom Drysdale is a notorious rake, but he seems to have taken a shine to you. When he plans to make you his, nothing would stand in his way. No is not a word he understands. (Soft!dark Ransom x Reader)
The Fated Mate: Ransom always knew he’d be your alpha. Despite you not presenting yet, he just knew you were meant to be his. No matter how much you ran, you always found him waiting for you at the end of the line. They said it was fated, and sometimes fate was a bitch. (A/B/O)
Sleeping Beauty: He waits for sleep to claim you, so that he can do the same later (dark!Ransom Drysdale x Reader) Kinktober Day 1
Drabbles/Blurbs/Headcanons
Breeding Kink + Housewife Kink w/Ransom
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ANDY BARBER
One-Shots
Golden Cage :  You asked Andy to take your case and he asked for you to give yourself to him as payment.  (soft!dark!Andy Barber x Reader)
Trespassing : You trespass on forbidden land, catching the eye of the creature that dwells within. (dark!demon!Andy Barber x Reader)
No Judgements: An Omega in heat is never fit to make a fair judgement, especially not when her delicious meat of an Alpha is concerned. (A/B/O)
His Responsibility : When you're pregnant and scared, Andy decides he will take the responsibility, whether you want it or not. (dark!Andy x reader)
A Man's World: To advance in a man’s world, you must allow one to own you. He promises you success, as long as you give yourself to him. (soft!dark!Andy Barber x Reader)
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LEE BODECKER
One-Shots
Sweet Tooth : Sheriff, you and his sweet tooth
The Claiming of the Sheriff: You wanted him, he wanted you. But he was too honourable and you were too greedy. So you made the choice for both of you. (dadsbestfriend!Lee x soft!dark Reader)
Series
•Sell My Soul :  You cut a deal with the Sheriff to save your brother (dark!Lee Bodecker x Reader)
Sell My Soul -2 :  Your husbands finds a secret you’ve been keeping and he is not happy.  (dark!Lee Bodecker x Reader)
Sell My Soul - 3 : Last part to the series (soft!dark!Lee Bodecker x Reader)
Drabbles Masterlist
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SHERLOCK HOLMES
One-Shots
What's Your Escape : Sherlock could never resist a mystery, especially not one as deliciously wrapped as you (dark!Sherlock Holmes x reader)
Death by Pleasure : Death by Pleasure isn't a thing. Is it? (Dark!Sherlock Holmes x Reader)
Drabbles/Blurbs/Headcanons
A worthy throne (Sherlock Holmes)
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CHRIS EVANS
One-Shots
Loving Dodger : Your journey of overcoming your fear of dogs to loving Dodger.
Muse Music : Chris plays for you
Chemical Romance: Chris won't have you running away from him. You're his. He owns your heart, and now he'll own all of you.
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AUGUST WALKER
One-Shots
Compromise: Your surrender to him would ensure the safety of the world (dark!August Walker x Reader)
Prometheus: You disappoint August and must make up for it
Drabbles/Blurbs/Headcanons
Pluto is not a Planet (Hades! August Walker)
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LUCIFER
To Sin in Love: You're forced to choose between the man who owns your heart and the one who owns your soul. (Ft. Sam Wilson)
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JAKE JENSEN
At the Dinner Table: Request: How about Jake Jensen meeting the reader's parents for the first time and since he's an adorkable idiot, chaos ensues?
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Drabbles/Headcanons/Blurbs (Miscellaneous/Multi-characters and fandoms)
When you feel ugly and the boys won't have it (BB, SR, LB, TS, RD, LL, SH)
When Reader is tall and slim and not curvy (SR, BB, RD, LB, AB)
Dick Fingers (very weird ask)
Detention (Severus Snape hc)
Remedial Potions (dark! Severus Snape)
Does your mother know (Hook)
When Reader has anorexia and body image issues (BB, LB, LL)
BODY POSITIVITY CHALLENGE
4K notes · View notes
emperor-palpaminty · 3 years
Text
Heart Song (2)
In which Tech grows closer to his soulmate and his training deepens his understanding if who he is.
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Tech was in a good mood. He had narrowed it down to two reasons:
1. He was doing more specialized lessons and training, meaning less time getting dirty looks from the other boys.
2. He had all the words to his soulmate's lullaby figured out. She had sung him the one about whiskey several times, and would be overjoyed that he had learned it.
Tech was humming it over breakfast today, stirring the unnamable food on his tray with his spoon, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Someone's in a good mood." His blonde brother remarked. He'd said he would go in for special combat and sniping training later today, so he was less snide and sarcastic than usual.
Tech nodded, shoving the spoonful in his mouth. "Excited for training, that's all."
"You're telling me!" Wrecker cheered. "I get to throw things all day."
The most average looking out of the four of them nodded. He didn't say anything- he didn't have much to say, typically. He hadn't said much about what he was apparently specialized in- but he'd started sleeping with eye and ear coverage since he'd met with Nalaa Se.
"Apparently, I'm going to be running through programming and artificial anatomy today." Tech's leg bounced and he wondered if he should tell them about the lullaby. Not yet, at least, he decided. "Then we get to do training together later."
Wrecker laughed, smacking the table. "I hope you guys are prepared! I'm thinking I can throw one of you at a droid."
"Please don't." The blonde one mumbled, lowering his spoon.
Tech grinned, pushing up his glasses, chuckling. "Let's see what they give us. I wouldn't mind being thrown."
Wrecker cheered, leading the oldest of them, the most normal looking, to chuckle and pick up his tray. "I've got to run. I'll see you later."
"Bye." Wrecker waved, and Tech and the blonde one repeated after him. Wrecker shoved the last bits of the gelatenous pile of nutrition in front of him into his mouth, swallowing mightily and jumping up. “I’ve gotta run too.” he waved at his brothers and practically sprinted out, giggling gleefully about throwing heavy things.
Tech stirred his food, standing after a moment, walking in a haze to the appointed training room. What did his soulmate look like? He sighed, happily, thinking of her voice. Maybe her hair was long! Or curly! Did she have glasses too? 
There was an obvious pep in his step as he entered the training room, mechanical mind engineering all the faces she could possibly have. No matter how she looked, his little heart was already pledged so deeply to her that he was scared if he took it away he would simply die.
Tech sat down at the screen, fingers flying over the keys, embracing each click as a musician does his instrument. He found his leg bouncing under the pristine table to the song he had memorized.
What will make the dumb talk, what will make the lame walk, what's the elixer of life-
Tech blinked as the screen flashed, them went blank. He looked up at the Sargent standing behind him. "What happened?"
"You finished." The Sargent offered him a half smile, taking the headset Tech removed from his ears. "Good job, kid."
Tech stood, quiet, nodding softly. He paused and looked back. "Sargent, sir?' A grunt acknowledged him, and Tech inhaled. "Is there any way I can... find music?"
The Sargent hummed in thought, glancing at the boy, brow piqued in... concern? Question? Tech felt his face flush. "If it's no trouble-"
"No, no. Cadets don't usually ask. That's all." The Sargent rubbed a finger along the headset, pushing his lips together in thought. "There's a few spare radios in the hangar bay. Gonna be shipped out and thrown. If you can fix one, it's yours."
Tech perked up. "I can?"
"Yes." The Sargent smiled, shaking his head softly, but the curious glint had been replaced with amusement. "Go on, now. You're due for combat in an hour."
Tech thanked him before marching away as quickly as he could, doing all in the world he could to not skip. He paused, looking around, and then whispered, "Song bird?"
There was a pause, and then a gleeful giggle responded. "Smarty pants! Calling so early?"
Bobbing his head in a nod, Tech smiled. "Yeah. I wanted to ask you something. The Sargent said if I could fix one of the radios, I could have it. I want to listen to music. Maybe I'll know lullabies too."
"Please!" She gasped. "You would learn songs for me?'
The joy in her voice alone was enough to send the boy spiraling again, imagining the smile on every face he could imagine. "I would learn all the songs for you," Tech sighed, narrowly avoiding bumping into a rather stern-looking trainee, smiling apologetically, the rose haze of infatuation lifting briefly.
"You're so sweet!" The girl gushed, squealing. "Who knew my soul mate would be such a sweet heart?"
"I thought I was smarty pants."
"A sweet-smarty-heart-pants."
The words didn't make much sense, but Tech conceded, making his way into the darkened hanger. "I did lots of training today."
"What kind?"
"It's pretty boring," Tech admitted, sheepishly, as he tugged at a cable.
"You want to listen to my songs! I want to know what you know."
His heart was near exploding, it was beating so quickly. "You... do?" Other clones steered clear of the nerd, and his brothers could get easily frustrated with Tech talking about things they just wouldn't understand. Mechanics and physics were beyond them, though fascinating to him. "No one ever wants to know."
"Well," She reasoned, and Tech imagined her puckering her lips in thought. "If we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, I want to know more about what you like."
The rest of our lives.
His face went red again, and Tech made an involuntary noise, joy washing over him as he finally heaved up a smaller, clunky radio from the pile. "That sounds incredible." He clutched that device to his little chest, heart racing, and almost slumped over.
He stood and walked, a sense of purpose in his heart. "Can I talk to you more tonight?"
"You can talk to me any time." She sighed in response, sounding almost as smitten as Tech felt. "What are you going to do now?"
"My brothers and I are going to the arena. We're practicing combat today." He picked up his pace, dispensing the radio at the foot of his bed. "We're trying to be soldiers. Training is important."
"Do your brothers know about me?"
"No." Tech inhaled. "I'm technically not supposed to be talking to you."
She sounded horrified, appalled. "Will you get in trouble? Why?"
He shrugged, adding "I'm not sure, I just shouldn't," a little lamely. "But I really want to keep talking to you. We can have a secret together! Just one you and I know about."
She laughed, in affirmation, stating it sounded so romantic and thrilling, like some story her fathers read to her. Tech could only smile as he hurried down the hall to join his brothers for their combat training.
___
It wasn't that Tech hadn't believed Nalaa Se when she stated they were an experimental batch of specialized troopers. As far as he knew, the Kaminoans wanted the best for him and his brothers. It just shocked him as he watched the four of them, himself included, in action.
The blonde one was deadly accurate with a shot, taking only a second to scale upwards, aim, and take down a series of AI. Wrecker abandoned his gun for throwing droids at each other, practically invincible in his cadet-regulated armor, and the oldest one, the normal looking one, wove away from his brothers quickly and between the barriers, making his way quickly towards the droids.
Tech was stunned. For all the engineering, for all his brains, he lacked skill and brawn. He stationed himself behind the barrier, shooting at the droids that stalked up. He grimaced, looking around. His batch was too far, and he was alone.
He exhaled, hands shaking on the training pistol. He thought that the mechanics, the autonomy, were all he needed-
Tech paused. He lowered his gun, glancing around. "Wrecker! I need that commander droid!" He saw Wrecker give a brief grunt of agreement, and then he ran towards Wrecker, who was currently yanking down the commander droid.
Tech yanked the droid down and pried open its head, tugging around at cords and wires. "Wrecker, cover me!" He grimaced, fingers working at the cords, small brain working to try and remember what did what.
The droids shut down, and Wrecker cheered. "This is the end of your training session. Please return to the point of entry."
Tech felt his shoulders slump, abandoning the droid's cranium. His plan- it hadn't worked. He just wasted his time. The room was littered with remnants of practice deoids his brothers had easily taken down, and here he was, struggling with one. Tech stood, slowly, and followed his brothers, shuffling in behind them, shame covering his face, and he reluctantly moved his helmet from his head, eyes downcast. His glasses slid down his nose as he tried to not sniffle.
Stupid glasses. Useless clone.
___
He tinkered with the radio, quiet, waiting for his soul mate's voice. It seemed to be the only thing that would bring him comfort.
Even his oldest brother's encouragement wasn't enough. "It was a good plan, Tech! You'll get the hang of it." Tech had only mumbled in response and let the blonde dissuade Wrecker (who was dramatically reenacting the training), leading the others out to go watch a spar between some older cadets.
The door opened, and only a muffled step responded. "Tech?'
The boy grunted a soft hello to 99. He didn't bother glancing back, frustrated tears still pricking his eyes. Good soldiers don't cry.
Tech heard 99 approach, and felt the weight of his bed shift. The older clone was kind, caring- especially towards this batch. Perhaps he was some of himself in them. "What's wrong, Tech?"
"Nothing," Tech whimpered, trying to inject venom in his words. It was a pitiful attempt. His grip on the radio slipped and it collapsed on the bed. Tech sniffled, reaching up to rub his eyes, still not looking at 99. "I'm useless."
"Now, Tech, don't go saying that." 99 reached down with a knotted hand and gently patted Tech's shoulder, letting the boy sniffle as he hugged his pillow. "What makes you believe that?"
Tech inhaled, shakily, removing his glasses and rubbing his face. "W-well," he gulped in air. "I was tr-tr-training with my brothers," His voice warbled, and he swallowed to contain it.
Good soldiers don't cry.
The older clone offered a gentle smile, nodding and humming in encouragement.
Tech gave a sob. I'm not a good soldier. "I tried to do something during training. I saw Wrecker and- well, they don't have names yet, but they were all doing these amazing new combat skills." Tech's face went red and he rubbed at the tears, now breaking past their barrier. "And I just... sat there. I thought, maybe I could re-program the commander- but- I- I-"
Tech broke. He buried his face in his little hands and began sobbing. His fingers felt soft, and he drew his head away in disgust. Wrecker already had blisters from lifting weights, and the other two were forming callouses from their specialized combatative training, with knives and rifles. "My hands are wimpy, even." Tech whined, pulling his knees to his chest.
99 kept his hand firm but easy on Tech's arm. He patted the boy's back, listening to him gulp in air and try to control his breathing, and waiting patiently. "Breathe deep. You'll want to, because I have something to say."
Tech sniffled, picking his head up and inhaling through his snotty nose, then exhaling from his lips, thick from crying. His face was still warm, and his eyes felt dry, but his chest felt lighter. He glanced at 99, who was smiling softly, the comforting weight of his hand still on Tech's shoulder. When he finished, 99 scooted closer, hands moving to shakily pick up the radio. "You aren't useless. Would you call me useless?"
"Never!" Tech drew away, fingers gripping the glasses in his hands. "You're not!"
99 chuckled gingerly, adjusting the radio to sit in his lap. "My point exactly. None of us are useless, Tech." His knobbled fingers traced the old radio, thoughtfully, as if trying to draw words from the stations not playing on it. "One way or another, we live to serve each other. We all have a purpose. It can be hard to find. You seem to know yours, Tech, and you should value it. You're smart and I don't know any other clones who would think of running out into battle to try and hack a commander droid." He reached to his chest pocket, tugging out a small and thin cylindrical object. "Sometimes, though, you need tools to get you there."
Tech's sniffles had subsided. He was down to taking a few occasional shaky breaths, watching the clone work gingerly on the radio. "So, I need tools?"
"Everyone does." 99 stated simply. "You're all good kids- gonna be good troopers, too." 99 tapped the know, smiling slightly in victory when it crackled to life. "You're just gonna need to have to right tools to make your purpose happen."
Shoving his glasses on, Tech scrambled to the radio. "You fixed it!" He bounced on his knees, turning the dials with a loving unfamiliarity. "Thank you."
"Any time," 99 stood with a grunt, hobbling towards the door.
Tech rotated towards him. "99?"
"Hm?"
"Can I tell you a secret? It has to be between us, okay?"
Chuckling, 99 slid the door shut again, sitting down on the bench. Standing for a long time was hard on his body, and Tech scooted his legs under him. "Sure, Tech. I'll keep it between us."
"I met someone." He grinned, fiddling with the radio. "She's wonderful."
"She?" 99 blinked. "General Tii?"
Tech shook his head, excitement bubbling in him. "My soulmate." He grinned widely. "I have a soulmate! She's wonderful," he repeated, knees bouncing. "She likes to sing and she listens to me."
99 grinned, crow's feet by his eyes wrinkling. "Tell me about her."
"Well, she sings to me.' Tech's chest tingled, and he felt like a fog, a good fog, was closing in on him. "I don't know her name, though. She doesn't know mine." He paused, setting down the radio. "I really want to meet her some day, 99." Tech adjusted his glasses, pausing. "I'm not going to be useless to her, I hope."
"You won't be." 99 smiled, standing. "Not a lot of cadets are familiar with soulmates, here." He paused. "And I'm not good with girls myself, but if you need anything, let me know." He grinned and stood, grunting with effort. "We all deserve a soulmate. I'm glad you have one."
Tech exhaled in relief, assured that the soulmate would be kept between the two of them, and he turned on the radio, listening for songs to learn just for his soul mate.
Tech quietly curled up in bed, awaiting for her voice to fill him.
But it didn't. Not that night.
___
Tag list:
Thank you all for your comments! Im trying to figure out how to change this to my primary blog so I can respond without posting my personal blog a ton! I see and love all your comments, they don't go ignored. I'm just trying to figure out dumb technology, haha!
@m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @lafy-taffy @photowizard17 @nick-djarin @fanfic-cave @shytastemakerthing @phoenixhalliwell
126 notes · View notes
mrsseverussnape · 3 years
Note
Hi! I'm sorry I just saw that request somewhere else and thought it was cute. Can I try again?
Can I suggest Alan x Reader and it's the first time they met each other at a Set or something and Alan really liked them but can't talk to them because they're both so busy so he tries to find out who they are and to get known to them? Then they go on a date and click immediately? :)
Fingers crossed! -💚
A/N: hello! Darling don’t be sorry🌸. It was on me, i just couldn’t think Alan like that. The fanfiction turned out little bit different than your request while i was writing it but i think it’s still cute so hopefully you’ll enjoy it💖
The timeline is early 90s.
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Lucky Coincidence
You were on your way to your work in early hours, you liked to get out of your home early and walked to the museum where you worked. You have moved to Athens 2 years ago and from the very start you have fallen in love with the city. Especially the early mornings were your favourite, you loved to walk under the tangerine trees while the birds sang their sweet songs. But when you arrived in the museum, your dream-like moment immediately ended. 3 big trucks were parked in front of the museum door and they were blocking the road for the passengers but you showed your museum employee ID and rushed to the museum to see what’s going on. One of your co-workers saw you and your confused expression so she called out for you.
“Hey Y/N!”
You quickly walked up to her passing some people you don’t know. “Hi Eleni! What’s going on here?”
“They are going to shoot a movie here, for Hollywood! The museum made the arrangement last week when you were in your holidays.” Eleni explained excitedly but you weren’t very pleasant to hear this at all.
“So what are we going to do? Also they shouldn’t shoot a movie here, in a museum! They might damage the artifacts!”
“They will be here just for a week and they won’t use and flashes that cause a damage to the artifacts. And what you are going to do is you will give information about couple of sculptures to the actor, the boss wanted you to do this job.”
You sighed in annoyance, nobody has told you anything and now on the work day you found out that they are shooting a movie and you have to help them. “Thanks Eleni, I better see the boss. See you later!”
You made your way to the boss’ office and knocked on the door, you could hear some muffled voices coming from his room. Soon you heard him saying “come in”, when you entered the room you saw 3 more people beside your boss and one of them looked familiar, you have seen him in couple of movies; Alan Rickman.
“Good morning, miss Y/L/N. I was waiting for you. Have a seat please.”
You did as you’re told while greeting him back. He gave you a brief about what is going on and explained your job.
“Meet Mr. Rickman, you are going to help him about the sculptures.”
You were trying hard to hide your grin, maybe that movie thing wasn’t so bad overall. The actor smiled at you softly while holding his hand out for a handshake. You didn’t make him wait for long and shook his hand, you must admitted to yourself his hands were so soft and felt good on your skin.
“Since we met, when do you want to start studying about some sculptures, Mr. Rickman?”
“Now?”
“Alright! Then please follow me. Good day gentlemen.” You said rest of the men while leaving the room with Alan.
“So you are going to portray a history professor?” You started a small chat on your way to the first sculpture.
“Apparently.” Alan smiled softly, his hazel eyes were fixed on you. He wasn’t expecting to have such a beautiful young woman like you as his tutor.
“We need historians who looks like you, then maybe people will be more interested in it.” You blushed like crazy after realizing what you just said. Alan smirked at you with a raised eyebrow.
“I think you can lure people into history too with your pretty face, Miss Y/L/N.”
You bit your bottom lip while peeping to his way.
“Th-that is the first sculpture.” You mumbled while pointing the Aphrodite, Pan and Eros sculpture in front of you, still flushed by his words. He moved closer to you when you started to talk about the sculpture. Alan took a notebook out of his pocket and took some notes. You two walked around the archaeology museum, stopped time to time and you gave him some information about the meritorious artifacts. Alan was amazed by your knowledge but mostly by you. But your little study session cut by a worker who called Alan, saying he needs to get dressed for the shoot. Alan sighed and nodded at the worker.
“I must go… Thank you for your time, it has been a splendid lesson.”
“I am glad you enjoyed Mr. Rickman. See you tomorrow.” You have taken one step away from him when you heard him.
“Alan, call me Alan.”
Your lips formed a smile, turned your head to see him. “Y/N, just call me Y/N.”
 ~~~~
It has been 6 days since they started to shoot the movie and also 6 days you started to give Alan short history classes for his role. You and him kind of grew closer with each day, enjoyed each other’s companies but both of you were real busy with your real jobs beside that sessions, the longest time you two spent together was only 50 minutes. Tomorrow was their last day in Athens for the shooting and the director sent a message to you with a young boy; saying you don’t need to come tomorrow for your study session with Alan because plans have changed and they will be flying back to UK in the early morning. You knew this will last long only a week but your heart broke after hearing this out loud. You have enjoyed your time with Alan more than you wanted to admit, your little study sessions have became your favourite part of your day. And if you knew today was your last day with him, you could have done something special or at least you could say him a good bye. Your mood changed in a bad way after this news and you closed yourself in your room until end of your working hour.
While you were making your way out of the museum, you looked around to see Alan but he was nowhere to be seen. You didn’t want this to end like this, you walked over to his van hoping you might find him there but after couple of knocks you had to accept the fact he wasn’t there either. You were about to leave but then an idea came to your mind. You ripped a page from your notebook and wrote your name and phone number then did slide it under the door.
You were chilling on the sofa with a book when your phone rang. You literally jumped up and run to it, hoping it’s Alan.
“Hello?”
“Y/N?” the thick voice ensured you, it was Alan. You jumped slightly out of excitement.
“Yes, it is me.”
“I didn’t know about change of the plans this morning, I would say goodbye to you if I knew…”
You sense the sadness in his voice and it broke your heart, you stayed silent since you had a lump in your throat. Alan continued after a while.
“I know it is quite late but… Can I see you, Y/N?”
“Yes!” you have sounded very excited but you didn’t care about it at all. “I’ll be in front of the hotel in 20 minutes.”
“I will be waiting for you.”
As you have said you arrived the hotel he has been staying in 20 minutes, you saw him there by the door and walking back and forth.
“Alan!”
He stopped in his tracks and turned to your way immediately. “Y/N! Thank you for coming that late, you must be tired…”
You rubbed his arm gently and smiled up at the tall man. “I wanted to see you too, Alan. I was hoping you’d call…” you bit your lip shyly end of your sentence.
“There is not much to do at that hour, so you want to walk and talk?”
“Sounds good to me.”  
You two started to walk on the streets of Athens while talking about everything and nothing. It didn’t take long for you to notice that you two have so much in common. You haven’t talked about anything but the sculptures during your sessions so this surprised you both. You couldn’t help but think if you could meet with him another time, everything could have been different in a better way.
“I quote Plato; ‘According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.’”
“I have never heard it before, this is very interesting.”
You stopped and looked at him in the eyes.
“I feel like you are my other half, Alan... I know it is very early to say this but i just feel like it, y’know.”
His eyes grew in surprise for a second but soon his expression turned into a loving one, his hands found yours.
“I must agree with you, Y/N.” He looked deep in your eyes and leaned closer slowly. Your heart was beating so fast, you thought it might just run away from your body. Alan stopped when your noses touch each other.
“May i kiss you?” He whispered with his husky voice which sent shivers down your spine with anticipation. You nodded eagerly, he chuckled at you before pressing his lips onto your soft ones. It was a gentle kiss but you have never felt that good in your life. Your hand moved to his head, pulled his honey coloured hair gently which caused him to moan into the kiss. You pulled away smirking at him.
“Our lips fit so well too, we are totally soulmates.” You rested your hands on his chest smiling cutely at him.
“No doubt.” Alan kissed your forehead. “I will come back to you whenever i can...”
You sighed, you were back to reality from your dream state. “Don’t forget me...”
“I will never Y/N. How could i forget my other half anyways?” He pulled you in for a hug, you felt so safe in his warm presence and rested your head on his chest. The moon and the starts were shining above you in the darkness of the night while the tangerine flowers’ scent filled your nostrils and you were in the arms of a dreamful man. You couldn’t ask for a better night.
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