#sorry yesterday i saw someone having a fit like

[norrizzandpia]

My Name (LN4)

Summary: Y/n and Lando have a painful past together. When they go their separate ways and are left to pick up the pieces, Lando realizes he can no longer hear the woman he loved’s name without feeling deeply ashamed.

Warnings: this is the most angsty thing i ever written. TOXIC!LANDO TO THE MAX, lots of language, insinuations to sex, this is absolutely horrific i am so sorry its very painful and sad NO HAPPY ENDING (word count is a little over 4k)

Do you feel ashamed when you hear my name?

Some people had chapters they could never bring themselves to read out loud. Lando’s painfully silent chapter was Y/n. His nights were swallowed whole by the looks on her face when he let her down once more, the moment when she first thought he didn’t care about her in the way she did. Y/n was a recurring nightmare and a sobering remembrance for him.

FIVE YEARS PRIOR

“Lando, I have someone I want you to meet.” Max murmured to him as they glided through the crowd of rich sponsors. His best friend giggled under his breath as the groups separated like a sea, revealing the most beautiful woman.

From the moment he saw her, Lando knew he had to have her, “Please tell me it’s her.”

Max shook his head, his body lighting up as Y/n smiled at him and hugged him tightly. The two turned to the racer, still grinning, “This is Y/n. Friend from London.”

Lando thought she was perfect, down to the teeth peeking behind her upturned lips. His hand extended out for her hand, “It’s nice to meet you.”

”You as well.” Her voice was sultry, soft. Her hand fit right in the palm of his. Her body drawn to him, his to hers. Lando wanted her in his bed yesterday.

Sensing some sort of tension, knowing it was sexual, Max slid from the grasp of Y/n. He clipped his head down as a form of goodbye before leaving the two to turn from strangers to friends, maybe more in store.

The beginning of Lando’s favorite part of his life and the downfall of whoever he was before he met her.

TWO MONTHS LATER

Whether it was because of her overwhelming, albeit attractive, confidence or the fact that she was Max’s friend, Lando didn’t ask Y/n out right away. Instead, he tiptoed around her, so did she, but he only stopped when picturing her when he was touching himself got to be boring. She only stopped when he showed up at her door with flowers, ready for their date.

“I love pink roses.” She smiled, lightly taking the bouquet from his hands and disappearing into her apartment.

He closed the door when he stepped in to follow her. His feet took him to her kitchen, where she leaned over the counter and filled a vase. His eyes bounced around the walls, peeking out into the living room to see heaps and blankets and pillows.

His hands in his pockets, “I hoped you would.”

She thought it was supposed to be a romantic gesture. Lando’s hands were touching the curve of her waist before he finished his sentence, his mouth next to her ear, “I’m glad you do.”

She made the mistake of turning around, part of her would later wonder if that was giving him the wrong idea.

Still, his lips met hers in a heated kiss, his body pushing hers further into the hard granite. She had been attracted to him from the start, gotten to know him over the two months he hadn’t actively tried to pursue her. She really liked him. That was the reasoning which led herself to being wrapped up in sheets with him a half hour later.

They never made it to that first date.

PRESENT

Lando’s eyes burned with all the flashing lights. Even after a race win, the joy could never subside the anxiety he got from all the press.

The first reporter, her name tag reading Clara, beamed at him. It reminded him of Y/n’s perfect teeth.

“Congratulations, Lando, on an incredible race! How are you feeling right now?” She spoke quickly. She pushed her microphone into his face.

His hands gripped the railing in front of him, “Amazing! This feeling will never get old.”

Her face dropped slightly as she glanced behind her, to the cameraman he presumed, “We would love to talk more about your stellar race, but we do want to ask for your thoughts on the allegations surrounding Y/n Y/l/n over hostile workplace behavior.”

His heart squeezed. He wished people knew her. Not the girl he ruined, but the woman he knew she still was deep down, past all the things that happened between them. His cheeks flushed, “Y/n is an amazing person. She has a kind heart. I just hope people can see that.”

He prayed that Clara would drop the subject. Lando would kill to clear Y/n’s name for her, maybe that would makeup for all the pain he caused, but she would never give him the light of day, even for that. People associated him with her and it tore at his insides. There wasn’t a day that went by that the taste of her name in his mouth didn’t feel like a type of betrayal.

Clara’s eyebrows moved up, “So, you think the allegations are false?”

He huffed, “I’m not speaking about the allegations. I’m simply speaking about the woman I knew.”

Whoever she was now, he didn’t know enough to comment.

FOUR YEARS PRIOR

“Oh, fuck, Y/n, that was amazing.” Lando breathed, his chest rising and falling quickly from beside her.

She laughed, “Happy for you.”

His body turned to the side, his head propped up by his arm, “It was nice having you here.”

She was quiet for a moment, trying to decipher what that sentence implied. She thought she knew, she just didn’t want to face it.

Y/n’s hand traced his arm, “It was a good time.”

Lando pulled away from her, slipping from bed and pulling his pants back on. Loud and clear, she thought.

Still, she tried. Pathetically. Her shirt slid over her body as she grumbled, “Do you wanna go get some food?”

From her view of his back, she saw him tense, “Uh, I can’t, Y/n. Sorry. I’m super busy right now.”

She sighed softly, too quiet for him to hear. He turned around, fully dressed now. She stood, shirt and underwear on with no towel to clean herself. Completely rejected. A small piece of her heart chipped away.

She nodded, “Okay, yeah, no problem. I get it.”

He rushed out of the room, “Yeah, thanks! Feel free to let yourself out! I’ve got some errands to run!”

The door slammed shut immediately after. She took a moment in the silence to gather her messy mind. Maybe he was genuinely busy. Maybe he didn’t mean it that way. He said it was nice having her there.

He couldn’t have meant this in a mean way.

Like any girl in love with someone they thought they were too unworthy of having, the excuses began.

ONE MONTH LATER

Deja Vu flooded Y/n’s senses as Lando rolled off her body. The sinking feeling that her time with him was over mixed with the familiarity and it proved to be a horrific experience.

Her hand reached out to grab her pants that had been discarded on the floor when his voice rang out.

“Do you wanna go get food?” He asked, head turning to look at her as if it was the most regular thing.

Her hand stopped just above her jeans, “What?”

Lando sat up from bed, no longer in a rush to throw his clothes on, “Do you want to go get food with me?”

Some place within herself ridiculed her for nodding her head so eagerly. It was beginning to feel like she was trying to earn his love.

His hand around her waist moved to link in her palm and she finally felt like something to him. When he sat across from her at the quiet and secluded diner they found five minutes after leaving his apartment, his eyes bore into hers. He studied her like a thing he loved.

Maybe he finally did.

PRESENT

When Lando closed the door to Max’s apartment, he was met with hushed and frantic whispers. He walked slowly down the hall toward his best friend’s voice, clearly in distress.

“Y/n, I don’t understand that can’t be true. You’re not that person.” He gave, hand clutching his phone.

Lando heard murmurs on the other line before Max was cutting her off, “No, I don’t care how much you’ve changed over the years. I know you and I know you aren’t the person these people are saying you are. You wouldn’t scream at people because they got your coffee order wrong. You wouldn’t fire people over one small mistake. You wouldn’t humiliate others publicly to make some sort of statement. You just aren’t that person.”

More murmurs before Max’s interruption, “No! I know you know ‘this is how you run a business’ is such a bullshit excuse. If this is you, then please let me know where Y/n is because I know for fucks sake this isn’t it.”

The responses on the other line jumped in volume, Lando being able to make out some of the words. Y/n was yelling, truly yelling. Telling Max that he wasn’t a good friend, not supporting her through whatever was being alleged.

Lando’s ears rang. This wasn’t her, he knew that. Everybody knew that. She was a bright spirit, she wasn’t now. She was a hollowed out version of who she used to be and Lando knew he had taken every bit of it. He held what she once was in his hands and this was her trying to move on without it.

He wanted to give it back to her somehow, revive the life she once led, but he was so ashamed to show his face to her. He knew it would only be met with an anger he wouldn’t be able to forget.

He couldn’t hear anymore of her turmoil. Too many memories were being brought to the forefront of his mind. Maybe it was selfish, he had proven to be on many occasions, but he stepped into the room.

“Lando’s here. I have to go.” Max rushed.

The line clipped before he could even get his full sentence out.

Max stared at his phone for a moment, studying the contact picture he hadn’t changed for years. Standing off to the side, Lando could make out Y/n’s smile, her perfect teeth, and lightness in her eyes. It was a living testimony of someone that was no longer there. Someone who had lost themselves in it all. He knew it because he had gone through it. In the midst of Y/n, Lando had lost sight of himself. Part of him wanted to blame his behavior toward her on that, but there was no excuse. He had to live with the knowledge he was capable of causing such psychological damage on someone else. Someone he loved. A personal, endless hell.

Max sighed, “Hey, mate.”

It was quiet, exhausted and Lando knew Max didn’t want to talk about it, but something in him urged to hear, “That was her?”

Max nodded, “Uh, yeah. She’s just trying to fight the allegations right now.”

Lando set the takeout down on the desk, “I assume it’s not going well?”

Something switched in Max, his eyes turned cold, “No, Lando, it’s not going well. And, frankly, I don’t know why you’re even going here with me right now”

Lando put his hands on his hips with his eyebrows furrowed, “Going where with you?”

Max’s fists curled, “I forgave you for the way you treated her, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a sore spot. She’s lashing out at people, ruining her reputation, because you put her through a shit show. I’m not saying this is wholly your fault, but you had such a major fucking role in it and, to be honest, sometimes I can’t fucking look at you without seeing her and everything she has to go through on top of all the shit you did. You don't have the right, in my mind, to ask me about her.”

”I’m not trying to start anything. I still care about her.” Lando said, hands turning upwards as if he was lost.

Max scoffed, “Care about her? Fuck you! Care about her, my ass. You used her for sex, Lando! You took and then you gave, you took and then you gave. Such a twisted cycle that she never even asked for, looked for, deserved. You have no right to sit here and say you care about her. I care about her.”

The two friends had had such a hard time finding a peaceful ground in the moments after Y/n and Lando’s blow up. Max was protective over her. He entrusted Lando with her and Lando had thrown her back in his face like she wasn’t someone to be cherished. Part of him would never forgive Lando for that.

They wondered if that would be the final straw.

Lando breathed out, “I think you need some space. I’ll leave and if you want to talk things out later, call me. I don’t want to push something with you that you don’t want anymore.”

He turned around, prepared to walk out, but Max whispered, “Like you did with Y/n?”

The McLaren Driver spun around, “What?”

Max’s arms crossed in front of his chest, “You heard me.”

The fire in Max’s eyes masked pain, Lando knew that because he had lived it. Max didn’t want to fight him, he wanted this battle to be over. In a moment of growth, Lando set aside the anger in his own head and walked out the door. Hoping for a day where Max could look at him and see something other than the one moment in his life where he ruined something so perfectly his.

TWO YEARS PRIOR

Lando had DNF’d. Max and Y/n watched on as he took his gloves off, forcefully throwing them to the ground in frustration. A worker coaxed him into the car waiting to take him back to the garage, Lando shrugging him off and throwing himself into the backseat.

Andrea’s fist collided with the table he was sitting in front of and Jon ripped his headset off. Lando had been so close to securing a win, but one wrong swerve and he had gone spinning off the track with no opportunity of recovery.

Lando’s return was quick, his body storming through the room and darting up the stairs to privacy. Y/n and Max just glanced at each other, both knowing how he got with these things. Part of her wanted to go up there, hug him and tell him how amazing he was, but she also knew he needed time to be alone. Process things. She just wanted the best for him.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket.

Lan <3

Come up to my room?

She smiled. Lando hadn’t opened up to her that much over the year and a half they had been fooling around, whatever you wanted to call it, but she had always wanted him to. She had tried to ask him about family life, stressors he was dealing with, and he would answer, but it was brief and then his lips were on hers again.

Maybe he had finally come around to letting her in like she had him.

Y/n Y/l/n

Coming xx

When she got to his room, her knuckle hit the door once before it was flying open and he was pulling her in. She laughed as he kissed her, thinking it was meaningless. But, when his hands tried to pull her shirt off, she pulled back.

She cocked her head, “What’re you doing?”

Lando stopped, “Fucking you?”

Her heart dipped down, “What?”

He looked at her like nothing was wrong. Did this mean nothing to him?

”Lando, don’t you wanna talk about what just happened?” She tried, but he just kept playing with the hem of her clothes.

He nodded and her confusion almost subsided. Almost, “Yeah, with some kisses and an orgasm.”

His lips met her neck and a slimy feeling washed over her body. The first time she felt self-hatred in the presence of him. What was she doing?

Y/n pushed him off, “No, I don’t want to have sex right now, Lan.”

His hip popped out and he stared at her, “Why?”

She shrugged, “Because I don’t. That should be enough.”

He looked at her as if he expected sex. Like her rejection was some sort of betrayal. He didn’t just appreciate being with her?

Lando groaned, “Ugh, whatever. Okay. I have to get changed so I can go to the debrief.”

For once, she didn’t try to argue to stay. Something didn’t feel right about his hands on her anymore.

Something wasn’t kind about their situation anymore and it wasn’t the love she knew she had for him.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Y/n Y/l/n

Can I come over? We need to talk.

Lan <3

Sure

She walked into his apartment with hesitation. What she had identified as a comfortable space no longer felt that way. Now, she stood in the foyer as if she didn’t know the layout like the back of her hand.

Lando looked at her expectantly. It mirrored the way he had eyed her that afternoon in his driver’s room. She hated it.

“We need to talk about what we are.”

Lando’s eyes bulged, “Why? There’s nothing to talk about. We both know what we are.”

Y/n shook her head, “Well, I don’t. I thought I did, but I’m starting to think I’ve been a little naive.”

Naive? That was not a word Lando would choose to describe Y/n. Gullible, maybe, but naive? No. She wasn’t that.

He led her to the living room, hand falling around her waist and lips pecking her neck out of habit when they fell onto the couch. She pulled away, “Stop, Lando.”

The softness in her voice, the way it sounded broken down, made him search her face for answers.

He got them when she began speaking, “Lando, for the past year and a half, I have done everything a girlfriend would do. I have cooked for you, run out to complete errands so you weren’t stressed, come to your house at night when you couldn’t sleep, stopped seeing other men because I felt tied to you exclusively, loved you. You have done none of that. I’ve gotten flowers, but that’s rare and I’ve gotten gifts, but it’s been for my birthday and weeks late. I give you everything I have. I give you my time, my energy, my body, my feelings, everything. You’ve given me on and off moments where you treat me with some level of respect, but I have never gotten the amount I deserve. I can’t keep doing this when all I feel like is a random fling.”

Lando stuttered. He knew this was coming. He knew the way he had been treating her, giving her things occasionally so they would hold more value and pulling back when he felt like it, would catch up to him. But, to think she was in love with him and expected the same from him, was not something he was prepared for. He was speechless as he looked at her. What was he supposed to say? She was a fling.

The moment that would haunt him everywhere he went: the small drop in her face when she realized he wasn’t fighting her. The knowledge that what she had felt all along was what she had been.

She deserved more.

She stood from the couch, “Oh my god.”

Lando stood with her, “Y/n, I am so sorry. I-”

She slapped him across the face, “Who do you think you are? Giving me flowers, taking me out to dinner, giving me a taste of what it’s like to be treated with dignity by you just so you could keep stringing me along. You manipulative piece of shit!”

The anger in her eyes mirrored Max’s whenever he got mad. He worried that would be burned into his brain every time he looked his best friend’s way.

Lando grabbed her wrist when she turned around, spinning her back, “Y/n, you have no idea. I didn’t mean for it to be this way. I’ve always wanted you. I want you.”

She pushed him away, “Want me how? Want me for my body? Want me for sex? Want me for some fucking orgasms? Is that what you’ve reduced me to?”

He tried to find the right words. There were none. “I thought we were having fun! I didn’t know you were falling for me.”

She rushed into the kitchen, grabbing her purse while yelling, “What’d you think I was doing sticking around all this time? For the sex? You’re good in bed, but not that fucking good. You’re a sick fuck.”

She reached the door and he stood in front of it, forcing himself to memorize the fury that was slowly fading away to deep sadness, “Y/n, I care about you. I don’t know how I feel about you, but I know it’s more than a fling.”

Lando waited for her reply, but she just smacked his shoulder and began to cry, “Don’t say that! That’s so fucking unfair! I’ve been in love with you for a year and you don’t even have your feelings figured out for me? You’ve been fucking me for almost two years and you have no clue if you hate me or you love me? Grow up!”

Her tears bled through the fabric of her shirt as she stared up at him. The deep color of her eyes was magnified by the glossiness. He loved her eyes. Did that mean he loved her? He was furiously trying to sort out the feelings he knew he had for her in the short amount of time he had. He didn’t want her to leave. Was that cruel?

In his silence, she found everything she needed. Pushing past him, Y/n ripped the door open. Her face turned back to him, a version he didn’t recognize, and she whispered, “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Her parting words struck his soul, so raw and real. He knew that was what she wanted him to remember if he chose to block the entire conversation from his mind.

No matter how hard he would try, Lando would come to find he would never be able to forget the blip in his life. Her fast pulse under his fingers when he grabbed her wrist to the way she condemned him, it was all there. Lingering and plotting to remind him of their presence when the syllables of her name were uttered.

Maybe he did love her, he was starting to realize that, but that would never matter now.

”You should be ashamed of yourself.”

PRESENT

Lando moved the oatmeal around in his bowl as he scrolled through his Instagram feed. His TV played some random news station in the background in the living room, one he was half listening to. But, the moment the anchor spoke her name, Lando was dropping his phone and bringing his full attention to the screen.

A picture of her popped up, a headline below and one Lando couldn’t bring himself to read. He was too enthralled with her picture, remembering the times she used to smile at him that way.

”Y/n Y/l/n has officially stepped down from her CEO position at her famous boutique. She and her team released a statement this morning, apologizing for the strain she put on employees and other board members these past two years. She explains in the statement that there is no excuse for her actions, but she is heavily remorseful for them. She promises to work further on herself out of respect for the people she affected, changing her ways. She also briefly mentioned in the statement that she will be paying thousands of dollars to each employee she fired under wrongful termination. Y/n explains that the business has always meant the world to her and it is painful to let it go, put it in the hands of someone else, but she knows this is for the best. She wishes the business and all employees a more positive life after having impacted their’s negatively for so long.”

Lando stood in his living room, hands by his sides, as he read the screenshot posted on the TV. His hands shook and his palms sweat, tears pricking his eyes.

She loved that job.

This was his fault, no matter how much he tried to say her actions were under her control. It hit him fully then and there. Y/n changed him for the better, taught him how to treat someone you love, and he ruined her. He took the perfect girl with the perfect teeth, perfect hair, beautiful smile, and twisted her insides into someone who lived with rage. She never knew rage until him. He introduced it to her.

Do you feel ashamed when you hear my name?

A/N: sorry pookies sending all my love after this bc it broke ME idk how yall are doing

TAGS: @jehun

#mclaren #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagines #lando norris fic #lando smut #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando imagine #lando norris #lando norris edit #lando norris blurb #lando norris fanfiction #lando norris x you #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 x you #ln4 x y/n #Spotify

[writingoddess1125]

hello!! ⭐, I saw that your order section was open and yesterday I read your story of buggy with the Roger effect and Jessica Rabit and I loved it, and I would like to know if you could do a one shot or something shorter if you prefer showing how they met and they decided to get married I love your stories and I think that, like your buggy, he is my favorite character. If you don't like this request or you think it's not good to do it, you can just ignore it, it won't be a bad thing 😸 thank you and have a good day!! 💗✨ (pd. English is not my first language so sorry if something is not written well😔)

Deal! I love this little idea

Buggy x FemReader

Small angst + Fluff

Heart on my Sleeve

Prequel Of Roger and Jessica Rabbit Effect

Wanna Buy me a Ko-Fi ☕️

• Your village was one of the poorest villages in the East Blue, the taxes from the World Goverment crippling your home to be a starving wasteland.

• Mainly to the wealthy Governor who lived above your town.

• You owned a fabric shop but the fabrics you owned were old and starting to rot from the lack of buissness. The moths having more use put of your fabrics then you did-

• The newest pirate on the scene Buggy the Clown shows up to your village ready to pillage it, in his early 20s with a fresh faced crew. However they did not expect the village to look worse then before they arrived.

• "I thought you said this place had money?" Buggy asked as he looked at the place. Lowering his blades as it looked like this place- it was in shambles. Like it had been pillaged to time then a pirate

• You had walked out of your shop, seeing if maybe the baker had just enough flour so you could feed yourself. Turning to see the group of pirates that seemed better off then you and your people.

• Buggy stared hard at you and matched forward, seeing that you were quite pretty in his eyes as he stood before you.

• "You! Tell me what the hell is wrong with this place! We heard it was rich here!" He said angrily, clearly upset at not getting to a small village that at least had a few Berries.

• You looked up at the pirate, noting the far too big of clothes for his frame and his painted face- Not liking he was putting such an unflattering green around his watercolor eyes. His face twisting up in anger as he caught you staring at his face.

• "What are you staring at!? You looking at my nose!" He yelled angrily, his fingers going to the inner part of your coat where you assumed some weapon would be.

• "No your shirts too big for your frame and that shade of green doesn't compliment your eyes well" You said truthfully, At this point a knife or bullet being a kinder death then starving anyway-

•"U-Uh- What?" He said confused, Unsure how to answer. You reaching forward and putting your arms around his frame to pull back the shirt. Taking a pin from your pocket and pinning the shirt back so it fit properly.

• "See- Your shirt is too big. It looks better fitted like that" You pointed out, His faze looking down at the pinned back shirt. His face red at how close you got to him, or that you'd touched him at all.

• "As for money we have non. The governor has the taxes so hide no one here can even feed themselves" You said truthfully, The young clown blinking at you in surprise.

• "Er- Y-Youre making fun of me somehow right? Like my Nose" He tried to yell again grabbing the front of your dirty shirt- clearly not used to someone trying to give him kind useful advice without some sort of motive.

• "I would never make fun of your nose, it looks fine to me anyways" You snap back and slap his hand away calmly. He blinked at you surprised and released your hand- His eyes going up the hill of the village and seeing the grand governors house hidden in some trees.

• He huffed and shoved you hard, you falling into the mud as him and his crew marched past up to the Governors home.

• However what did surprise you was the next Morning the Captian and his Crew stood in the village square and announced he now owned the village. Saying he was Buggy the Clown- and that he was now in charge.

• Before starting to hand out some stolen treasure??? Giving some supplies he had 'liberated' from the Governors house.

• You also noticed how his eyes lingered on you as he did this.

• It had been a few months like this, he would stop by randomly pay for the village. He wasn't taking taxes but instead paying things- it was improving greatly, the cracks of the pavements on the streets getting repaired, new paint on the building and new businesses flourishing-

• But you noticed how he would pay extra attention to your shop- Getting all his things from you. How you got extra rolls of fabric delivered to your door or how he would pay for all these extra accessories to his costumes.

• "You seamstress I want another coat!" He yelled as he invaded your shop.

• Buggy was there again, asking for another ridiculous costume. You couldn't help but notice how often he was coming by- claiming he wanted new costumes by you and wanting to be measured everytime he came in.

• How he would blush when you measured around his chest. "You know, I noticed you always come through here and stop specifically at my shop for new outfits when you wear the same coat" You tease, watching him blush at you pointing this out.

• "So what!" He yelled out, his face as red as a cherry. You look at him and raise a brow at him, Not even having to say a word as Buggy deflated.

• "...I uh wanted to take you on a date" He grumbled, finally admitting what his plans were. You smiled at this, Setting the tape aside.

• "Now please do tell me, Why should I accept your offer for someone who not only yelled in my face but pushed me in mud-" You point out, even though you knew he most likely made up for it by him saving your village.

• "..I am sorry about that.." He forced out, you could tell he wasn't used to apologizing and was trying his hardest.

• "I forgive you, But that doesn't mean I'll forget" You say calmly. Smiling softly as you saw him looking ready to flip put at the rejection but you held a hand to him-

• "I know- So why don't we make a deal. Since I can tell you're really sorry why don't we agree to dinner and go from there? Its not a date per say but its a start" You said with a smile, his eyes lit up at hearing this at the prospect of getting to win you over.

• "Really!?" He says excitedly, Jumping up and down like a school boy as he blushed and giggled into his gloved hands like a kid. You couldn't help but find it adorable-

• For the next year Buggy would send gifts, love letters, help rebuild the village. Do everything to get in your good graces and ask for a official date every time he visited.

• Buggy would essentially own the Village at the point, 30% of his money went to the village to get it on its feet and keep it a small strip of paradise the very limited taxes he implimented later affer the village was florishing acted as a small form of secondary income. Mainly making sure people knew the place was protected by him as his reputation grew through time.

• Him even showing his unique Devil fruit abilties- Which you often abused for him to float up and grab the more expensive rolls of fabric or hang up finished cloths.

• The village also being a popular tourist destination for the friendly locals and nice scenery. So for Buggy it was worth the investment since originally put in.

• After that 'probation' year you would finally agree to officially date him and he was over the damn moon.

• While he would be secretive about you, his love language was strong. He is both physically and verbally affectionate- While he still throws his fits you know how to handle him well. Loving him both for his strengths and flaws.

• It would be 1 years of dating before Buggy would start planning how to pop the question.

- You were closing up shop for the day, humming along to a made up tune when you heard the back door of your shop being unlocked. You didn't have to look to know who it was, only one other person had the key to it.

"Hey Buggy Boo" You call out, smiling as you heard Buggy grumble and peel off his boots to leave them by the front door.

"That is still such a bad nickname" He grumbled before walking behind you and kissing your cheek and wrapping his arms around you. He smelled like the sea, clearly having just gotten off his shop to visit you. He had been taking more time out to see, wanting to get his bounty higher. Currently proud of his 5,000,000 berry bounty which for a early 20s pirate was fairly good he claimed.

"Ah you love it" You giggle which earned a adorable chuckle from the man.

"You know (Y/N)- I uh really like you and Want to spend my.."

"So I wanted us to have dinner tonight- I know you like that place down the street and want us to go there" He said, his voice very soft- Much softer then normal.

Smiling you turn around and kiss him on the lips.

"I'd love to" You say cheerfully, earning a crooked smile from him as he held you close.

As promised, that night Buggy took you to your favorite restaurant. Having gotten a private table in the back, you two spending hours just talking and sharing a meal together.

Buggy even pulling out a box of your favorite candies he had gotten out from his last adventure.

After dinner he lead you away to the more scenic parts of your Village a small meadow pass that had the most beautiful blue and white flowers, under the moonlight it looked so magical. You saw Buggy reach in his pockets and turn to face you, nervousness painted on his face as he shuffled his feet. Clearly prepared to get on one knee-

"You stole my Thunder!!" He cried in faux anger, you laughing hard as he ranted about how you knew so quickly, happy tears running down your cheeks as you smiled and his face turned deep red.

"Yes I will!" You said with a wide smile, your excitement getting the best of you as you slapped your hands over your own mouth. His jaw dropping in shock.

"I've been planning this for 4 months!!" He whined, face so red his nose was glowing as he stared at you.

"Im so sorry Baby, You just- You talk in your sleep my Love." You reveal with a smile, His face twisting up as he realized you'd known the whole time and let him try to have his moment anyway. You had just got too excited and answering too quickly-

As this sunk in he smiled widely and started to laugh, he couldn't help it! You were just too perfect for him! Despite everything you still let him have the spotlight. He kissed your lips eagerly and held you close, rocking the two of you side to side in pure joy.

"I.. I love you (Y/N)..So much- I cant wait for you to be my wife.." He said as he pressed his face into your neck- You could feel the warmth of tears hitting your skin exposed. Your arms wrapped tightly around him as you hug him close and cried against him in joy.

Pulling the both of you to the ground with a loud laugh as you two laid in the flowers- Laughs leaving you both as tears stilled from both of your eyes.

"I love you too Buggy Boo"

#x reader #one peice x reader #one piece #one peice live action #buggy one piece #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy thoughts #op buggy #buggy x female reader #buggy x wife reader

[luvyeni]

omgg your writing is incredible, i love it!!

i was thinking if you could write something where the reader is bang chan’s little sister and she grew up surrounded by the boys and all, but felix and her are hooking up in secret for while now (it’s not like everyone doesn’t suspect it tho) and one day everyone is meeting up in chan’s house so lixie comes up early, then later they start to get heated up but when everyone arrives they have to stop so there’s this build up tension and they’re horny af so they go to her bedroom and fuck anyways even though everyone is downstairs

TENSIONS RISING; LEE FELIX

pairings. hookup!felix x fem!reader

wc. 0.7k

warnings. oral (m. receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink if you squint. this has a fluffy ending not on brand for luvyeni

thank you for reading my works , i hope you like it <3 !

tensions rise when you and felix are interrupted by the guys

—

"oi, felix! what are you doing here so early? ＿ , come down and greet felix." you smiled , making your way out of the room , down the stairs to the livingroom. "oh am i?" his eyes went to you , he bit back a smirk. "i was at the pc cafe , and i just decided to come over." chan let him in , he sat down on the chair. "hey." he waved to you. "hi."

"what are you wearing?" chan turned to you. "clothes christopher, i know you're unfamiliar with the term." he rolled his eyes. "go put on something else , im gonna go shower , felix you can make yourself a home." you made your way into the kitchen.

felix waited for chan's bedroom to close before he followed you into the kitchen , you felt him press himself against your ass. "do you always get this horny playing games?" you smirked , he flipped you around , pressing you against the counter. "you're such a brat , sending me those photos last night , what if one of the guys saw it." he growled against your ear. "been hard since this morning thinking about getting here to you."

"you want me to fix it?" you palmed his cock , stroking him through his pants. "fu..fuck yes." he groaned , lips tucked between his teeth , as you sunk to your knees. "good girl , take my cock out" he commanded , you unbuckled his pants , pulling his pants down , along with his underwear. "shit." his cocks sprung out , hitting his stomach , leaking with pre-cum.

"you're so hard lixie." he gasped when you grabbed the base of his cock , stroking it. "fu..fuck , put it in your mouth , before your brother gets back." he groaned as you took him into your mouth. "oh fuck , i missed that mouth." he grabbed a hold of the counter, you bobbed your head , stroking what you couldn't fit in your mouth.

"shit , baby im gonna cum , you want in your mouth?" you nodded , humming around his cock. "so nasty baby, then take me all the way." you relaxed your throat , taking him all the way in. "oh fuck , im cumming !" he took one of his hands , tangling it in your hair , holding it as he came in your mouth. he looked down at you , your tear stained face. "let me see." you opened your mouth. "swallow it." you obeyed , swallowing opening your mouth to show him. "fucking good girl." he pulled you up by your arm , turning your body around , your hands on the counter.

"these little ass shorts , they aren't hiding much." you slapped your ass. "fe..felix." you moaned , he covered your mouth. "your brother might here you." he grinding against your ass. "p..please do something." you whined. "beg for it." he said. "pl..please , please fuck me, i need you." he groaned , slapping your ass one more time , about to pull your pants off , when someone knocked on the door.

"shit." he breathed against your ear. "baby , im so sorry." you were whining as he pulled his pants up. "i didn't get to cum." you pouted. "you think im happy about this , i've been thinking about being inside you since yesterday." he kissed your pouted lips , he quickly pulled away , making his way back into the livingroom , just as your brother came down the steps.

"that must be the rest of them." you followed after him. "＿ get the door." you rolled your eyes. "why didn't you get it your damn self." you grumbled , walking over to the door, opening it. "little bang, wassup!" changbin ruffled your head , you stepped to the side , letting them all in. "in 22 changbin , 22." you said. "oh really i thought you were still 17." you rolled your eyes sitting down , in the seat across from felix, he smirked watching you fold your arms , pouting.

you were gonna die if he kept looking at you like that , running his fingers over his lips , looking at you with those i want to fuck you eyes , adjusting himself so that you could see his hard on , you couldn't take it anymore. "im going to my room , call me when dinner is here." you stood up , walking up the stairs to your bedroom , felix smirked, he knew you wanted him to follow you.

he excused himself , his excuse was he had to use the bathroom , no one batted an eye , as he made his way up the steps , and made his way to your bedroom. he bit his lip , heading your low whines, you must've beem pleasuring yourself. "princess it's me." you moaned , letting him know to come in.

"princess , you couldn't wait for me , you had to come up here and stuff your fingers inside you." he unbuckled his pants like earlier , letting them fall. he dipped down on to your bed , spreading your legs. "so fucking wet , poor baby had to suffer that long." he rubbed your clit with his thumb. "fe..felix , i need you , please." you moaned. "i will baby , i'll fuck you right now." he pulled his cock out , lining it up with your soaking entrance , pushing into you.

"oh...oh fuck , you're pussy is choking my dick." he groaned , pushing all the way in , pulling out. "fuck , felix please." you whined , mouth immediately going wide as he pushed all the way back in , his hips against yours. "so fucking tight." he wanted to take his time and fuck you properly , but he knew they would start to wonder what was taking him so long.

"baby , we're gonna have to speed this up." he pulled out , slamming back into you , fucking into you roughly. you grabbed your sheets , your back arching off the bed. "fu..fuck felix , so good." you moaned. "love we have to be quiet , so they won't hear you." he groaned , kissing you to swallowing both of you guys moans , pulling away , spit connecting both your lips.

"so fucking pretty , all fucked out for me , you're mine right." he grabbed your boobs through your thin tank top. "fe..felix im gonna cum." you whined. "say your mine , then you can cum." he rubbed harsh circles on your clit , making your legs twitch as you felt your orgasm approaching. "fuck felix , im yours, please let me cum." you whined.

"go a head , princess , cum." he chased both your highs. "fuck , felix." you covered your mouth to keep from screaming as you came on his cock , eyes rolling to back of your head. "fu..fuck princess , im gonna cum , where do you want it?" he groaned , about to cum. "inside, please cum inside me."

"shit." his orgasm hit him like crazy , thrusting two times before cumming inside your hole. "fuck baby." he breathed , hair stuck to his forehead. "you felt so fucking good." he said, pulling out , watching his cum leak out of you. "shit baby , if they weren't here , i'd have to fuck you again."

he put his clothes back on , grabbing some tissues to help clean, giving you loving kisses in between. "how about you let me take you on a proper date?" he said. "really?" your eyes lit up. "of course, im tired of sneaking around your brothers back , i want to show you off to them." you smiled kissing him.

"i would love to go on a date with you."

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #kpop smut #skz hard hours #stray kids smut #skz hard thoughts #stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids x reader #skz smut #lee felix x reader #lee felix smut #lee felix hard hours #lee felix hard thoughts #felix hard thoughts #felix hard hours #felix x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for using the only accessible restroom at the office, when I don't technically need to?

I am a trans person in my twenties who is neurologically & physically disabled. My disabilities are (mostly) invisible and I do not have any mobility aids or bulky access devices, nor do I have any toileting-related disabilities. This is relevant.

In the large office building where I work, each storey has: A women's room with no large accessible stall; a men's room with no large accessible stall; and a single-occupancy all-genders large accessible restroom.

I am visibly trans, regardless of how I dress or whether I wear a mask. I have been verbally harassed in both the women's room and the men's room, and security has been called on me once. HR told me to use the single-occupancy restroom to avoid further "conflicts." However, two of my coworkers on this floor have bulky mobility aids, so they cannot fit into the stalls of the men's room or women's room. Yesterday, one of them ("Pat") was in the lobby waiting for me to exit the single-occupancy restroom so they could use it. When Pat saw that I exited, not our other coworker with a mobility aid, they started to berate me for making them wait on someone who is not disabled. They insisted I use the women's room, and I was too upset to respond, I just walked away.

I don't want to go to HR again, who I think see me as the problem, rather than the bathroom layout being the problem. I don't want to be harassed in a gendered restroom again, but I feel terrible for making Pat wait on the only restroom they can physically access. I don't want to tell Pat and my other coworker with a mobility aid why I use that restroom, because I am afraid they will not be sympathetic to my reasons, since they cannot physically use the other restrooms and I physically can (just at significant risk of harassment and HR complaint).

I already try not to use any restroom at work, since it is causing so many problems with my coworkers. I work on an upper floor, and my badge only lets me into the floor where I work and the ground floor lobby, so I can't get to a different block of restrooms in a reasonable amount of time. My job has good benefits and is not too difficult, so quitting my job over the restroom situation feels extreme. I am trying to be considerate of all of my coworkers, but I am afraid that I am in the wrong anyway.

Would I be the asshole if I keep using the single-occupancy accessible restroom when I need to go?

I'm sorry if this sounds like bait. I am afraid of giving too much detail about where I work. If the mod wants more information I might be able to provide floor plans for my office without compromising my privacy?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #yeah so this is a good example of why i cannot stand when y'all call things bait #this is a perfectly reasonable and believable case of conflicting access needs at work #and the fact that the submitter had to pre-justify their story as not being bait #and offer to share personal info to prove it #is really fucking upsetting actually!

[lilisettean]

Unspoken Rivalry | Zayne/Reader + Implied!Caleb/Reader

About: Ever since that incident, you rarely mentioned Caleb to anyone. So when you suddenly brought him up while in the fitting room with Zayne, his curiosity was piqued, albeit unwillingly.

Pairings: Zayne/Reader, Implied!Caleb/Reader

Notes: Sorry for repost and not smut haha. Decided to put all my L&DS writings here on this sideblog instead of my main blog because I didn't want to muddle things up. Anyway got this idea when Zayne was surprised at MC knowing how to tie a tie and I was like, HMMM maybe because she had practice with Caleb??? But nope the game went the other way.

AO3: Read here!

Warning: Implied love triangle.

“I’m shocked. I didn’t expect you to be good at tying a tie.”

You inspected the black tie you had selected for Zayne for a moment, nodding in approval at your own tastes. 

“Why, of course.” You said with a smile, glancing at him before directing him to face the full length mirror before you two. “I had a lot of practice.”

“Practice?”

“Caleb.” Zayne raised his eyebrows at the sudden mention of that name; your mutual childhood friend who had sadly passed away months prior. You rarely mentioned him nowadays, so to hear his name slip past your lips without anything prompting was a surprise.

“I… I used to do his tie for him before we went to school.” You whispered, fond memories of you tying his school tie while you complained about him not doing it himself surfaced. It felt like it was just yesterday when you complained about his odd request of making you do this every school day morning, but now… 

“I’m sure he’s capable of doing it himself.” Zayne remarked, careful with his choice of words. He eyed you through the mirror, pointedly ignoring the sting of jealousy that made itself known when he saw you smiled wistfully.

You shook your head and looked ahead, eyes unseeing and absorbed in those innocent, carefree days where everything was still normal. “He said it’s for good luck.” You explained, missing the light bemused snort beside you. “He would whine about not having the goddess of luck’s blessing if I didn’t.” 

‘That could’ve been you in his place.’ A traitorous part of him mumbled, and Zayne promptly shoved that thought back to the corners of his mind. But it ceased to be silenced. ‘That should’ve been you. But you chose to distance yourself.’ 

‘It was for her sake.’ 

‘But was it worth it? Missing precious time with her? Being replaced by someone else?’ That voice hissed, reminding him of the reluctant distance he had placed between him and you. He told himself that it was necessary for him to focus on his studies if he wanted to take care of you in the future, and that indulging in your presence then would only hinder his carefully laid plans. ‘You were the perfect match for her and yet you–’ 

Opting not to let his darker, less desirable thoughts taunt him, Zayne focused on you instead, placing a hand behind the small of your back and brought you before the mirror. 

“Do you think we still match?” He asked, his hushed question barely over the calming instrumentals that the shop you were in chose to play. If it weren’t for him being right next to you, you would’ve missed his question entirely.

You scrutinized his outfit through the mirror, and smiled. “I think we do.” 

“Good.” Zayne let out a breath he unconsciously held back. He stared at his reflection once more, wondering. Would he have had the same treatment if he had stayed?

If Caleb was still the same boy he had met all those years ago, he would’ve hated you extending the same care towards Zayne himself. He remembered being at the receiving end of Caleb’s piercing gaze multiple times when they were still together, especially when you had looked to Zayne instead of him for certain matters.

‘The past matters naught. What’s important is now and the future.’ He thought as he turned his focus towards you, silencing the doubts of you favoring Caleb over him.

“Will you tie my tie for me on that day then?” He asked, the corners of his lip threatening to twitch upward when you stared at him, perplexed.

“Do you need the goddess of luck’s blessing as well?” You joked in response, only to sigh when you realized he was serious. “Don’t tease me, Zayne. Why would you need me to do it anyway?”

“For luck.”

“Why would you need luck of all things? It’s just a banquet!”

“You never know.” Zayne parroted the words you said this morning. You sighed, wondering if he lied about only studying and joined a debate club when he was still in school.

“Fine! I don’t understand why you and Caleb want me to tie it when you two could do it better than me.” A small smile appeared on his face as you grumbled, preparing to change out of the outfit he had picked out for you.

‘You will understand eventually.’ He thought as a staff member approached him with his card and receipt in hand, thanking him for his patronage. 

‘For what man wouldn’t want their goddess' attention?’

#love and deep space #love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne x reader #love and deepspace caleb x reader #i am so down for a love triangle or ot3 between them tbh #just give me caleb already dammit...

[moderndaylestat]

I MET SAM!!! AGAIN!!!

Yesterday was a fever dream. I didn’t think I’d get to see him let alone talk to him but it happened! Here’s the whole story:

@suikamelon6 found some info saying the base camp for the Newsreader filming has been set up. I decided to go check it out after work since my office isn’t very far away. It was raining all day and I had no clue if Sam was even filming that day but I decided to take the chance anyway. And I’m SO glad I did!! turns out Sam was filming and I found out the actual filming location (it was a completely different place from the base camp). I made my way there.

They were mainly filming inside a venue so I couldn’t see anything, but there was going to be an outdoor scene too so I stuck around. I was there for around 15mins and then a crew member came over to tell me that Sam and Anna would be arriving soon. Then a car pulled up right in front of where i was standing on the street and Sam was inside!!!!! Thank god I was given a heads up beforehand because otherwise l would’ve had a complete meltdown if Sam in full costume just got out of a car right in front of me 😭

I said hi and Sam looked at me like he recognised me and was like “you were at the Newsreader premiere!” HE RECOGNISES ME!!!! he knows who i am!!!! This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me!!! Anyways, I asked for a photo and he said yes as long as I don’t post it until the season is out. We took some selfies and i’m short so he bent down to fit in the photo 😂😂 I’m sorry that I can’t share the pics yet because OH MY GOD HE LOOKED SO FUCKING GOOD!! He was in full costume, Dale wig and all. He was ✨glowing✨ !!!

He then filmed inside the venue and in the meantime i met up with Suika and another friend as we waited for the outdoor shoot. It was a short scene of just Sam, it was done in 4-5 takes and we saw the whole thing! He was so focused during the entire shoot, it was evident that he puts a lot of thought, effort and concentration into his acting.

Afterwards we talked to Sam some more. He’s so down to earth and easy to talk to! For someone who’s supposedly introverted he’s actually very chatty, he jokes around and makes you feel at ease. It’s like talking to a good friend! I asked him if he’s going to the Newsreader event on the Gold Coast and he said he’s not sure yet and then he was like “wait, are you going?” Gold Coast is like a 2hr flight away from Melbourne, it’s kinda far! I said “I’ll go if you go” and he was like “haha you can just see me here”. He’s so right, i’d much rather not spend all that money on flights and accommodation if I can just keep seeing him in my hometown.

Anyways ahhhh Sam is so lovely and engaging in conversation! And so humble and hardworking too! He grabbed food immediately after he stopped filming, he probably didn’t get to eat between takes. i was like “you must be exhausted” and he just shrugged and smiled. What a sweetheart!!!!!

I had such a wonderful experience, Sam was amazing and all crew members were incredibly lovely, telling us where to go and what was happening. I had the time of my life!! Forever grateful to my crazy good luck about being at the right place at the right time. Sadly I didn’t take any pics of the set, I didn’t want to get in trouble. Maybe next time they film in public (IF there is a next time!!) i will have more pics and things to share with you! 🥰

#sam reid #the newsreader #dale jennings #interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #iwtv

[p-redux]

So, more info from Hyrox Glasgow 2024! Again, thanks Team for all the DMs, I really appreciate you! ❤️

Reminder of what I posted yesterday.

And

So, today, I get this video of Sarah Holden competing at Hyrox Glasgow, and you can CLEARLY hear Sam Heughan cheering her on. Sam's voice is at the very end. At the beginning, you hear a man with a thick Glasgow accent pronouncing Sarah's name Serah. That's NOT Sam. There's also a woman's voice. And at the END of the video, you can hear Sam's unmistakable "C'mon, Sarah!" This was shared by one of the Team and I saved it to my YouTube Channel. Enjoy!👇

I also received this DM with additional info. 👇 Posted with permission.

Here's the pic where Sam is tagged. 👇

And Sarah posting she got FOMO aka Fear Of Missing Out and spontaneously competed today in the women's open race. 👇 She definitely matches Sam's energy level! I'm tired just looking at her. 😊

Anyhoooo, I also got some conflicting info regarding whether Sam competed yesterday after all. I was alerted to this Tweet. 👇

And then I received this DM from someone I've never talked to. 👇

It's all very confusing. On the one hand, it is weird that if Sam competed, he never posted anything on his own IG. On the other hand, Hyrox DID post his results as if he DID compete yesterday. 👇

If Sam decided to not compete and wanted to give his slot to someone else, why wouldn't Hyrox be able to substitute the other man's name? Everything is computerized, so I don't see why they couldn't have made the change easily. Also, isn't it fraudulent to post results with Sam Heughan's name if he wasn't the one competing?

On the flip side, if Sam didn't actually compete, then he literally went to Hyrox to watch Sarah! Those saying "No, he went to watch his friend, Valbo. who also competed." Yeah, except Valbo didn't compete until 6:00 PM yesterday, and Sam was there at 12:00 PM, when the women's competitions started. Literally RIGHT THERE where Sarah was competing. 👇

No reason for Sam to be there 6 HOURS before Valbo was competing if he only went to support Valbo. 🤷‍♀️

I ran out of room to post pics since Tumblr limits to 10 pics, but I also got a DM saying Sam got a bunch of new Instagram follows who are Sarah Holden fans. That leads me to think they went to follow him because they saw him with Sarah at Hyrox.

So, that's it for now. I'm in the process of vetting someone from the Glasgowish area who approached me with some Sam and Sarah info. If she and the info check out, then I'll post it.

PS. I'm hearing from people that my usual haters and assorted newish haters are gnashing their teeth about my #samarah posts...same as it ever was. This has happened any time I've ever posted about Sam possibly dating someone. If you look at my track record for the last 10 years, my info has been at least 90% accurate. No one in the Outlander fandom would have known about Cait and Tony, and Sam and Cody, Abbie, Mackenzie, etc if not for my INSIDER source info, and me posting it FIRST. Facts, people. So, the hate makes no never mind to me. I keep doing me. I'm here for those who want the info. If that's not you, go somewhere else. Simple as that.

Oh, one more thing...the LIE that I have a restraining order against me from Sam resurfaced in my Inbox. Let's use our brains once in our lifetime, shall we? If I had a restraining order or a cease and desist, I wouldn't still be here, now would I? Doh. 🤦‍♀️ My blog is just like any celebrity news blog. It's called freedom of speech, peeps. And in the USA people have died to protect this right. That's all, folks.

#samheughan #sam heughan #sarah holden #samarah #hyrox #hyrox glasgow #big red oliver #valbo #results #haters gonna hate #freedom of speech

[blocksgame]

a little purgatory q!fitpac for you

(/rp) (set during yesterday 11/7 when they had the mutual assinations missions)

They set a time and place. It’s near mid, which ups the risk, but - you know, call him crazy, Fit doesn’t feel the need to bother telling Forever where he's going or what he’s doing.

Squinting, he sees a little figure in the distance jump off a cliff. It catches itself with a glider at the last second, smoothly. It gets close enough to become distinct. Like a kid, Fit smiles. Right on time.

“Hi Fit!” Pac waves.

“Pac!” Fit shouts, and walks toward him.

Pac sprints.

They both slow when they get within placing distance. Pac looks like shit. He’s busted up. He doesn’t normally take the hoodie off, but he has now in the desert heat. His undershirt is torn and his strong arms are cut up. He looks miserable.

Fit looks hot. He’s also cut up and his clothes are torn up to catch sweat and for bandages, but that’s what they were always for. Waiting.

“Fit! I’m so happy to see you. Are you gonna kill me?” Pac asks.

Not unless – are you going to – other things Fit might say die on his tongue. He shakes his head. “No,” he says, firmly.

“Oh, okay.” Pac gets a little closer. “That’s good.”

“Pac, how are you?”

“Oh, well, pretty bad,” says Pac. “Um, a crocodile nearly ate me getting here, and, I don’t – I’ve died like ten times today – and – I don’t know, Fit, it’s a nightmare!”

At last, they reach out to each other and hug rather desperately. Fit braces himself because expects the touch to be a lot, back in his old ways as he’s been, but really it’s only been three days and hugging Pac is kind of like riding a bicycle. Pac squeezes him hard and Fit squeezes him just the same, for a while.

“How – how are you?” Pac asks, against his neck.

“I’m okay,” Fit reassures him. “I’m okay. ...This is kind of like what I’m used to, you know? Not trusting anyone and hidden bases and finding resources and – it’s kind of fun? It’s not, like, fun fun, but…”

“That’s good,” says Pac. “I’m glad. I kept thinking, this is the kind of thing Fit would like – but I didn’t know if, if you would, or if…”

Fit huffs a laugh. “I mean, it’s not summer camp. But, but it’s got its charms. To me, at least. Maybe not to anyone else.” If you’re as much of an asshole as Fit, of course.

Pac nods. “Oh, I’m really glad. It makes sense. I mean, you only died once that I saw, right?” They pull apart.

“Yeah. Fucking tiger.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, don’t be. I’m sorry you’ve been – well, you know. Having it rough.”

“Hah...”

Pac’s hair is unruly and falling in his eyes. A known terror of the wastelands, a man who leaves no survivors, pushes it out of the way. “Is Tubbo taking care of you?” he asks, as gentle as he knows how.

Wide-eyed, Pac nods.

“That’s good.” Not that Pac needs it. Fit knows better, except that Pac doesn’t know better and right now it looks like he really does need it.

He’d vaguely considered proposing that they trap Red’s portal, or some other kind of mischief, for fun, but – They just sit together, under an acacia tree, leaned together. Pac shifts and shuts his eyes and breathes it in. Fit puts his arm around his shoulder. In lieu of a hand to hold, Pac rests his hand on Fit’s knee.

Fit manages to give them both ten minutes. Eventually his danger-sense gets too high. Just about sitting in the open like this, what’s he thinking? Maybe they could stay together for longer if they worked on tasks, but that’s always riskier. If someone gets the jump on one of them, Fit will have to decide what to do. Being here is even more fun than Fit let on. He just didn’t want to sound like a demon in front of Pac. But when he imagines someone else rolling up on them, coming up to mid, he’s not even trying to do the math - he doesn’t want to be in a position to pick more battles. Is that cowardice? Is it protectiveness?

“I should really get back to grinding,” he says.

Pac just nods. He has work too. Now he knows that Fit is alive and well, as well as possible, and cares about him. He misses Mike. He misses their old life and when they had more and when being bad at things hurt less. “Me too,” he says. He has to keep going. “Should we kill each other for the quest?”

The terror of the wastelands shuts his eyes. “Let’s not.”

“Okay.”

And they both walk away.

#qsmpshipping #fitpac #qsmp purgatory #fic #q!fitmc #q!pactw

[mothmanperson]

||Teamaker, Peacemaker||

??? x gn!reader

tw: spit

cw: enemies to lovers???, rivals to something, tension, spitting on ones tea, spicy but no smut sorry :(

i was drinking tea and listening to two feet so blame those for this.

i made this so you could basically imagine any male harbinger in this but i think childe, scaramouche or dottore fit best.

crossposted on ao3

for both male and gender neutral reader since there are no pronouns used

part two. part three

FEMALE ALIGNED DO NOT INTERACT (SHE/HER, SHE/THEY)

you held back all your anger, your face remaining the same stone cold like it has been before, like it always has been.

the tsaritsa wanted you to mend your 'relationship' with him. the ungrateful little man(bitch) besides you.

you were sure you were both more tense than ever. seething hatred radiated off of your bodies. you could feel it and you were sure everyone else could aswell. even the guards outside were sweating.

this all wouldn't have happened if he just kept his mouth shut.

this rivalry of yours has been going on since the day the two of you had been introduced to each other, you could just feel his bad vibes the exact time he stepped into your line of vision.

the mocking look in his eyes, as if you were beneath him.

unbelievable, when in reality it was the other way around.

but no. day by day he continued to laugh at your face for everything you did.

the way you talked, walked and went about your day.

and archon's forgive you made one oh-so little mistake. he would never let you live it down.

forever.

if smugness and malicious intent were a person it had to be him. him, with his stupid little grin like he had something against you, like he would tear you down and get you on your knees.

no.

that can't happen, it won't.

those times are long over.

when her highness was done explaining your 'punishment', the both of you were escorted to a secluded room. it hasn't been in use for ages but it was still cleaned and a nice fire was burning to compete against the harsh weather of snezhnaya.

while you sat down on the seat which had its back to the fire, he didn't went to sit down at all, rather looking at the small collection of books in the bookshelf.

before the guards left you requested for some of your precious tea, you have just gotten a new delivery yesterday and you were delighted.

you would have tried it yesterday but your 'problem' just had to open his mouth. and then you did something you very much regretted now.

you could hear a 'tsk' form your fellow harbinger, though he still had his back turned.

"do you have a problem with me brewing tea? would you perhaps also like a cup?" you asked as you poured the hot water over the tea. the see-through water turning a warm yellow-orange almost instantly.

"oh no no- i just really don't get how someone could be so obsessed with something as simple as a cup of tea. it seems like a waste of time... i mean leaf water is all it really is, isn't it?" he answered and finally turned, his ever smug face present on his oh-so pretty face.

you really wanted to repeatedly slam it into the frozen ground so nothing was left but a clumpy mush of hair, bone, brain matter and blood.

who knows, with a little sugar it might make a good tea... then again you heard somewhere that human brain causes an incurable disease.

you watched him unimpressed as he sat opposite of you, your hand couldn't help but twitch in slight annoyance.

of course, he noticed.

"hah- you're to easy- as soon as i start talking bad about your 'passion', i press your buttons more and more- come on i know just raging inside. haha you really can't keep your emotions in check. what a bad example for a fatui harbinger" he laughed doen on you, as his eyes sharpened.

says you

he waited for your next move, your next slip up so he could tear you down more, so he might be able to make you able to beg him to stop, to get you down on your knees and beg for him to stop harassing you each and everytime you saw each other.

but not with you.

you closed your eyes and took a breath as you poured your tea, the infused steam of the tea filling your lungs.

it made you relax just slightly. it always has.

to his surprise, you poured a second cup of tea and pushed it to his side of the table.

he took a glance at the steaming cup and then back to you. his before confused face turned sly again, he took his cup to his lips and for a second you really thought he was gonna drink it.

but rather he collected a good amount of spit in his mouth, before disrespecting the golden water by spitting in it.

your grip on your cup tightened and your eyebrow twitched.

he stared at you the whole time he did it. intensely so. you saw something flicker in his eyes you couldn't quite read.

he set his cup back down, and took advantage of your shock as he took your own cup and downed it like it was fire water. another disrespecting move on his side.

(he regretted that since it burned his mouth, throat and stomach. he would have to deal with that later)

with a seemingly innocent grin he pushed his cup to you.

"i'm offering you my tea as a peacemaking contract, drink it and i'm never going to bother you again" he chuckled, he had to hold back his laughter.

so he thinks he has won, huh?

you face turned cold again, and with slow hands you reached for the cup. you could still see the thick bubblly liquid swimming on top of your his (your?) tea.

with stared at him the whole time.

scanning his cute little face twitch and change into confusion, shock then disgust. it was amusing to see.

your lips met his cups rim and you took a sip out of the cup. you both stared each other down, no one wanting to submit, to admit defeat and back off.

with your second sip you finished the small cup and you set it down back on the table.

he felt shivers down his spine when you licked your lips, getting each and every last drop of the hot liquid before you hummed in delight.

"it had quite the taste to it. maybe i should let you spit in my tea more often, or maybe put in something different from your body"

"now then, it is time for me to take my leave, since we're on even ground now we have nothing to talk about anymore no? our request has been fulfilled" and thus you left. and had you been turned around you would have seen the blush covering his face ears and neck.

he didn't want to know what you were implying (he knew)

you now had the same smug and sly grin on your face that he had before. and his vanished without a trace.

you stood up.

"fucking bitch"

#genshin impact #gn reader #scaramouche #kunikuzushi #dottore #ill dottore #childe #tartagila #childe tartaglia ajax #fatui harbingers #genshin harbingers #x reader #x gn reader #dom gn reader #dom reader #dom male reader #male reader #sub genshin #sub scaramouche #sub dottore #sub childe #spicy writing #no smut

[mushroomwoods]

Alive and Breathing

the warrior was used to this setting, something that usually seemed so harmless, dragging things he cherished out of his hands, this time though, he wouldn't just watch as death tried to take what's his, not matter the cost or the amount of blood he had to bathe in, it would never take you away from him.

character — Warriors, romantic.

cw — yandere behaviour, kidnapping, drugging, manipulation/gaslighting, morally grey actions, vomiting, dubious consent (kiss).

I'm really sorry for the wait, ky dearies, ended up having a... troubling day yesterday which made me set off posting this sooner. I also took the liberty to make some alterations to Wars occupation in his game, but it was barely mentioned in passing, I just thought it would fit better with the whole story.

You were alive, breathing and well.

It was just a mild scratch you received while blocking a blow for the healer. You all knew how he was the most precious asset in the party should someone fall or the potions and fairies fail.

It was only natural, they all had been in this spot and even when Hyrule seemed uncomfortable with the overprotective attention, he didn't express it, knowing the end goal behind it.

Still, his mind screamed and scrambled for a way to treat it, scared of what might happen if it was to leave unattended.

He mentioned the scratch in passing, which you hadn't even noticed, chuckling at his worries and brushing your sleeve against it to remove the dried blood.

Too rough, it could leave blemishes and get infected like that.

Still, he kept his mouth shut, joking about your carelessness. He was good at that, not saying what was on his mind, keeping his innermost feeling hidden and locked like a treasure stash he was not willing to look through.

But you were alive, breathing and well.

That's what counts, right?

Until he saw you up to another gimmick with Wild or Wind, he felt his heart leap whenever you came back littered in injuries or soaked from head to toes in a especially chilly day.

He glared a warning to his fellow heroes, before continuing with his “hovering”, as the others liked to call it, drying your hair and patching any injury he could spot on your body.

You would just laugh and brush off when he said that even small things like that could make someone sick if they were outside and on the walk like you were.

He couldn't help but care about your careless and blame himself for not looking after you better.

At least you were alive, breathing and well.

Or at least he thought, before the deafening sound of an arrow bomb set off behind him, your scream resounding right after as the cliff they travelled through started collapsing under your footing.

His reaction time, often so quick, now seemed worryingly slow, his hand only brushing past yours as you fell right before his eyes.

He could take relief in the fact that the Hero of the Wilds reflexes were faster than his and thus he didn't think twice before diving right after you, glider in the wait.

After that his only job was to take care of those measly monster, those that tried to put you in harms way, he barely processed the inky black blood dropping from his hand and sword, his usually pristine stance in battle now messy as he all but pushed through the wave of infected monsters, the group barely needing to do anything as they could only watching Warriors turn into the real war captain he once acted as.

No one said a thing about how his unusually angered facade melted into a smile as soon as you were brought back to the group, a now clean hand settling onto your face as he scanned for any injury with a sickeningly sweet voice.

The way his jaw and fists clenched at any mention of the accident was enough to make the others backtrack on asking if he was alright.

Thankfully you were alive, breathing and well.

But there was only so much the man could take before his optimistic instance would crumble.

The final push for his resolution to shatter was the moment he stepped into his Hyrule, the place he knew the best just how dangerous it could be.

The place he knew the best who he could trust.

Zelda's warm welcome was immediately shut down as she stared into her friend face. She could say he was never in his topmost form while on the battlefront, however his sunken eyes and shaking hands were enough of a tell just from how deep of a inner turmoil he was.

She greeted the other heroes briefly, before excusing herself with the warrior and the general at her tail.

His blue scarf wasn't on sight even once for the next few days, the attendants that cared for the group did make sure to pass on his moves and plans, alike from any information of his land that any of you might need, however never once he showed up to tell them, even when the princess herself did.

It was only on the fourth day that he finally made an appearance, already sat by the table while having a not so friendly discussion with Impa, the scowl in the woman's face only deepening further when the group of heroes entered the dining room.

No words were uttered between the two after that, but somehow, even with the thick air around and how tense everyone was discussing what should their next move be, you slept like never before.

All whilst he just hoped you'd stay alive, breathing and well.

The strange lethargy of that day continued and worsened, the weapon in your hands heavy like a thousand bricks, something that should be easy for you to parry suddenly making your head spin and your body crumble, your hands automatically letting go of your weapon as your body fell to floor, everything you had consumed during breakfast coming up and ripping through your throat, the acid taste and smell making your stomach churn further as tears gathered at the sides of your eyes.

Your eyes closed as the world around you spun, hearing vaguely Legend's voice near you, before many other quickly approached.

A rough hand made contact with your forehead, from the corner if your eye you could spot the waves of blue falling beneath streaks of light blonde hair. Warriors made quick work after noticing how much you sweated and shuddered under his touch. He bit back a mirthful smile.

Things stayed the same for days on end, your situation didn't get any better and actually even worsened, both the faerie and the princess magic failing to heal or at least find any reason for your sudden illness.

In your hazy daze you wouldn't even be able to notice Time's side glances to the scarfed warrior or how Four bit back a curse when he would once again be denied to at least see you before departing, the princess stance rigid as she said mentioned you being a patient under strict supervision, the tea Warriors brought to you looking like anything but the supposed medicine you were supposed to be taking.

There was only so much they could do to help you, before agreeing that taking any longer would just make them lag behind even more than they already did.

The night they departed Warriors visited your room a last time, your sleeping form far more peaceful than the days prior.

A smiled spread over his face, venomous, hands brushing carefully past the scar on your left cheek before his head dipped down.

A creak by the door cut his time shorter than he would've liked, he could spend days on end just watching you, sweet, beautiful you.

“I belive it's time to go, Hero.” Impa voice sounded as imposing as ever. She didn't agree with his plan, but she was never one to go against it if Zelda was on his side.

“Unfortunately so...” His voice was quieter than ever, a peace uncommon of him. “I will be back soon my dear.”

Thus he sealed the deal.

As for now he would at least settle for having you alive and breathing.

#fungi's delicacies #yandere linked universe #yandere warriors x reader #warriors x reader #wars x reader #lu warriors #linked universe x reader

[athena-writes-i-guess]

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Prompt: “As you wish”

A/N: Hello! Am I sick right now? Yes. Very. Is this a self indulgent fic where Eddie comes to take care of you while you’re sick? Also yes. I hope you enjoy :)

You groaned as you woke up groggily, dazed as you pulled yourself from the deep slumber you had been in. It took you a moment to figure out what roused you as you looked around the dark room and you glared once you found the offending item. The phone on your night stand was ringing loudly and caused the pounding in your head to get more painful than you thought possible. You picked it up quickly, just wanting the noise to stop.

“Hello?” You practically snapped into the phone, sniffling as you noticed how clogged your sinuses still were.

“Woah babe! Someone’s a little grumpy.” Your boyfriend, Eddie, laughed through the line.

“Sorry Eddie.” You sighed out, your anger at being woken melting out of you at the comforting sound of your favorite person’s voice. “I was sleeping and the phone woke me up.”

“Sleeping? It’s 6 pm, are you okay sweetheart?” He asked quickly, his voice laced with concern.

“I’m sick.” You whined pitifully, smiling to yourself as you heard the light chuckle on the other end of the line.

“Awww baby.” Eddie cooed, a bright smile evident in his voice. “Want me to come take care of you? Nurse you back to health?” He teased lightly, though he meant every word.

“You don’t have to Eds. I don’t want you to get sick too.” You said, sighing again. You didn’t want to be alone anymore and you wanted to see Eddie, even if you just saw him yesterday, but you really didn’t want to get him sick.

“It’s decided. I’m coming.” He said, you could hear his keys jingling in the background as he started to get ready to come to your apartment. “I’m gonna stop by the store and get you some medicine and soup and then I’ll be right there sweetheart!”

“Eddie your really don’t hav-” You started.

“I’m coming baby. I want to help you. I wont get sick, I promise.” He said with a laugh, “I’ll be there soon. I love you! Bye!” He finished quickly, not letting you get a word in before he hung up on you.

You laid back in your pillows, smiling as you shook your head at his antics. God you loved that dork so much. You had never been so in love with someone before getting together with Eddie. He was everything you had ever wanted and more and you had never felt so loved and cared for before meeting him. He made you feel special, like you were the most important person in his life. Little did you know, you were.

~

“Baby? Sweetheart? Little plague monster?” You heard as you woke up again, not realizing that you had fallen back to sleep. You felt light kisses on your cheek as you blinked open your eyes, a sleepy smile pulling at your lips as you gazed into Eddie’s warm chocolate colored eyes. “There you are, beautiful.” He smiled, his dimples on full display before he placed one final, very wet, kiss to your cheek.

“Eddie!” You giggled, pushing him away lightly, “You’re gonna get sick!” You exclaimed before you were sent into a coughing fit.

“Let it out baby.” He cooed as he sat on the bed next to you and rubbed your arms as your body shook. “I got you. I got you, sweet thing.”

You grinned up at him as you rested back into your pillows, “Hi, handsome.”

“Hi, gorgeous.” He beamed, “I brought you everything to beat this. Soup, medicine, and I got your favorite movie. Steve and Robin say hi by the way. They told me to make sure to get you all better.” He chuckled, pulling the items out of the little shopping bag he had.

“You got the Princess Bride?” You asked, moved that he would go out of his way to get you something so comforting.

“Yeah, of course. The kid in that movie is sick anyways, so it fits perfectly.” He said, “But I wont put it on until you take a dose of this medicine I got.” He grinned as you let out a groan.

“That stuff tastes gross!” You pouted, shooting Eddie your best puppy dog eyes.

“I don’t care.” He laughed, pouring some of the thick red liquid into the little cup it came with. “You take this and I’ll put on the movie.” He said with a stern little head nod towards the cup as he handed it to you.

“Will you quote the movie with me again?” You wagered as you gave the medicine a cautionary sniff, wincing as the artificial cherry scent hit you sharply.

“As you wish.” He said with a shit-eating grin, loving the way you giggled again. You shot back the drink quickly, grimacing as you looked for something to wash the taste out of your mouth. “Here, I thought you would hate that.” He chuckled as he handed you a glass of water from your side table.

“Thank you for coming to take care of me, Eds.” You said softly as you placed the water back on the table after you took your sip.

“Anything for you sweetheart.” Eddie said, his eyes full of utter adoration as he smiled softly at you. “Now let’s get the healing started!” He exclaimed, jumping up from the bed to set the movie up on your TV. He quickly pressed play before quite literally launching himself onto your bed next to you, sending you into any other fit of giggles that he basked in.

He pulled you into his arms, holding you tight to his body as he rubbed your back comfortingly. You almost missed the dreamy sigh that he let out as he melted into you and the pillows. Almost. “I love you Eddie Munson.” You cooed out.

“Oh I love you too, sweetness. So fucking much.” He said happily.

~ 4 days later ~

The little bell over the door rang out as you walked into the video store, waving happily at Steve and Robin as they greeted you.

“Feeling better?” Robin asked as you walked up to the counter that she and Steve were standing behind.

“So much better, thank you.” You smiled, placing the small grocery bag onto the counter.

“Good, Eddie told us you had the plague or something.” Steve smiled as he leaned on his elbows.

“Just a cold.” You laughed. “But now Eddie has it so I’m going over to nurse him back to health.” Your smile widening as they both rolled their eyes and shared a look between them. “Do you have the Empire Strikes Back? Eddie was asking for it.”

“Yeah, it was just returned.” Steve said, pulling the tape from a pile he hadn’t put back yet and handing it to you. “You know you’re just going to keep passing that plague shit back and forth between you two, right?”

“Yeah.” You beamed with a little shrug, “We don’t care.” You laughed as you handed Robin the money before walking out of the store with a little wave, ignoring the two as they scoffed and shook their heads.

“Five bucks says they’re both sick next time.” Steve said, causing Robin to laugh with a nod.

“Oh definitely.”

Taglist: @srapalestina @yvonneeeee @aroseinvelaris @anaisweird @mrslovesmayahawke @harrys-titties @becca-alexa @catacina

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie x you #eddie x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x female reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x f!reader #eddie x gn!reader #eddie fluff #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #eddie munson x girlfriend!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x gn!reader fluff

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Wrong One

Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Steve while he's on the run and sticks by him. Until he sees Peggy Carter again.

7. The Calm

Warnings: swearing, angst, dirty thoughts

"I want her contact information yesterday"

Steve's attempt to yell gave him a coughing fit, Sam gave him some water and rubbed his back until the coughing calmed.

Once he was sure Steve was alright, Sam shook his head "No Steve, I can't give you her info. She doesn't want to talk to you."

Steve looked at him sadly "But it's my kid, Sam. Even after what happened I still deserve-"

"By what happened you mean how you left her for Peggy? What about what Y/N deserves? Did she deserve to be left like that? Without even a warning? You know I'm not good with what you did."

Sam got up to leave "I shouldn't have told you. You already had your happily ever after, at her expense. Just forget about her and enjoy your retirement."

"Fine Sam, just go. I'll get it out of Bucky." Steve called out weakly.

Sam swore and called Bucky as soon as he got in his car but got his voicemail and left a brief message.

Y/N was trying to build the crib she had bought, and wasn't doing great at it, when she heard a knock at her door. Her stomach dropped, like it did every time she heard someone at the door since she saw Bucky.

She wasn't thrilled to see Bucky now but was relieved it wasn't Steve. "What do you want Bucky? I'm busy."

"Hi Doll. I wanted to see how you were doing."

She scoffed "Obviously I'm fine so you can leave now."

Bucky shook his head "I'm so sorry. I had to come warn you. I didn't mean to but I messed up and told Sam that I saw you. I told him to keep Steve out of it but you know how he is."

Her eyes grew wide "You did what?!" She screeched and slapped him "What the Hell is wrong with you? I can't deal with him."

Her chest tightened and felt like she couldn't get enough air and she started hyperventilating "P p please Bucky. She's mine!"

Bucky caught her as her knees buckled, smoothly sitting on the couch and pulling her into his lap "Hey, hey it's ok doll. I've got you. I'll help, however you need me. I'm here. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" he whispered into her hair and rubbed her back gently until her breathing calmed.

Y/N tried to get up but between Bucky's hug and her own growing body, could barely move. She tugged on his jacket "You can let go, I'm alright."

Bucky reluctantly eased his grip "Please just let me know what I can do. I'll help you move away or whatever you need."

She shook her head "I can't leave, I'm carrying a super soldier baby and need a doctor with experience with enhanceds. Besides, the only friend I have left is Pepper."

She glared at him "I wish I could say I can't believe you told Sam or that Sam would tell Steve but I can't. I'm pretty sure the three of you share a brain."

She thought for a moment and sighed "Are you any good at putting things together? I've been fighting with that damn crib since yesterday."

Bucky grinned "I'm pretty handy, lead the way."

"Don't get cocky, I'm still pissed at you and if Steve does show up you get to fight him off for me."

Bucky smirked "I guess that means I'm staying here for now."

She stopped and he almost bumped into her "I don't think so, Barnes. I don't need you lurking around my home. Pepper and Happy made sure I have the best security money can buy, I'd be pretty impressed if Steve or even you, could get past it."

"How am I supposed to keep Steve away from you if I'm not with you? You know I-" he stopped when her phone rang.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen 'Sammy'. She shook her head "Oh look, it's Curly. $20 says he told Moe."

She took a deep breath and answered "Hey Sammy, what's up?"

"Hey Y/N, is the cyborg there? He's not answering his phone."

She snickered "Of course Larry is here, Curly. I take it you told Moe? You three are worse than teenagers.

What do you need, Sam?"

Sam sighed "I screwed up, I'm sorry. I think Steve deserved to know but I refuse to give him your contact info."

Y/N scoffed "Yeah, how did you get my contact info? You guys really suck at respecting boundaries, you know? And I'm full up on whatever the great Steve Rogers deserves. I appreciate you not giving him my info but you aren't the only spy he knows. He will find a way."

"I know, I was trying to do the right thing. Still am."

"Right by who, Sam? You know, it doesn't matter. It's done now. I just need to figure things out."

She hung up the phone while Sam was still talking and went to check on Bucky and the crib. She scoffed when she saw he was almost done and it actually looked like the picture.

Bucky looked up at her and grinned before tightening the last screws "How's it look?"

She sighed "Like the picture, asshole. Don't forget to clean up your mess here."

He laughed "That mess was already here when I got here but I'll take care of it anyways."

Y/N left the room grumbling under her breath. "Mister fuckin smart ass super soldier fixes shit I spent all morning on Telling his asshole friends my business and thinks we're all good now."

"To be fair I'm not the one who told Steve and I-"

"Are you sure that's the hill you want to die on? Your actions led to him finding out and that's more stress on this already very high risk pregnancy, so don't fucking nit pick on me."

Bucky put his hands up in surrender "Ok, ok, ok. You're right. I'm sorry, I fucked up. What else can I help you with?"

She lowered herself into a cushioned rocking chair and stretched her legs out. "Well" she thought for a moment, making Bucky nervous "Why don't you bring my foot stool over so I can put my feet up. I'll order lunch. Pepperoni pizza ok? Good."

Bucky found her foot rest, brought it over and gently set her feet up on it, noticing that they were pretty swollen. He sat on her coffee table, gently picked up one foot and started massaging it.

It tickled at first and she tried not to giggle but then he hit the aching arch of her foot and she couldn't hold back a moan, jerking her foot back when she realized.

Bucky smirked and gently pulled the foot back into his lap "It's ok doll, I won't judge. You have any lotion?"

She pointed at the coffee table behind him, he grabbed the lotion, put some on his hand, warmed it up and got back to work.

He didn't mention how touching her skin, feeling her warmth and hearing that moan made him twitch, figuring she wouldn't appreciate it.

After a few minutes, he took her other foot and she looked at him curiously "I'll probably regret asking but where did you learn foot massage? Some kind of Hydra torture method?"

Bucky laughed out loud, throwing his head back and her core clenched at the sound. She noticed how he scrunched up his nose and wanted to touch his face. Or his-. She stopped that train of thought, convincing herself it was just pregnancy hormone induced desire, any man could cause it.

When his laugh calmed she looked away and he cleared his throat "When I was a kid around 10, and my mom was pregnant with my sister Rebecca, she had to work at a drug store after my dad died. Being on her feet all day while pregnant was rough, especially in the later months. I would have dinner ready when she came home and after we ate she would read to me while I rubbed her feet." He choked up a little "She said that our evenings together and those footrubs helped her keep going when things got bad. After Becca was born we kept the routine. She loved reading."

Y/N looked at him sadly and tried to lean forward to wipe a tear off of his face but couldn't reach past her belly and started laughing at herself. A little hysterical. Laughing at him, herself, Sam. She tried to breathe and calm down but it only got worse.

Bucky was beaming, her laugh was beautiful and he promised himself he would do everything he could to make her laugh every day.

He couldn't help but laugh too until he saw her glaring at him again and stopped. "What?"

"What the Hell Barnes? You laughing because the fat pregnant lady can't reach you? That's fucked up."

Buckys face paled and he panicked, they were doing so well. His heart raced "Nn no nonono, doll I wasn't laughing at you, I was- I mean I'm sor-" he looked down.

She poked his leg with her toe and when he looked up her smile was blinding "Gotcha!" and laughed out loud.

Bucky grinned "That's not playing fair, honey. I can't get back at a pregnant woman."

Y/N shook her head "Nope. Don't you even pull that 'fair' crap on me. You owe me big time Barnes and I'll joke on you whenever the mood strikes."

He nodded "Fair enough. I'll be your metaphorical punching bag for now."

She laughed and gently punched his right arm "Who said it would be metaphorical?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next few weeks Bucky spent more time at Y/N's brownstone in Queens than his own apartment. He had put together all the baby furniture, painted and helped her organize the babys room, ran all her errands except doctors appointments that he took her to, cleaned and cooked plus rubbing her feet and lower back every night.

Sam came over a couple of times and brought offerings for the baby plus flowers and chocolate for Y/N.

It was a fragile sort of peace that all three of them knew couldn't last. Something was bubbling up and when it boiled over things were going to get messy.

Bucky still hadn't spoken to Steve and didn't really want to. Steve called him a couple of times but Bucky never picked it up or responded to any messages.

Steve started off refusing Sam's calls, then blocked him and when Sam stopped by, Steve's live in nurse always insisted he wasn't feeling well.

Y/N tried not to think about it too much, the pregnancy itself was stressful enough. She had to get check ups every week to be sure and catch any problems early. Judging by her size, weight gain and ultrasound pics Helen Cho figured the baby was over 7lbs already, lungs fully developed, and Y/N was only technically 6 months along. If the baby went over 9lbs they would deliver her by c-section.

She also tried not to think about how handsome Bucky was or how helpful and 'fatherly' he was being. Or how long it had been since she had sex. Or wondering if the serum had enhanced him like it had Steve. If she let herself think about it she would daydream about begging him to ruin her, about going for hours until she begged him to let her rest. She failed to not think about him fucking her into her bed and had too many dreams where he did just that but she always woke up before she finished.

They went for walks through the park to make sure she got her exercise, holding hands and receiving all the compliments on her glow, congrats on the baby, etc.

She was fine until someone commented on what a handsome couple they made and she felt the butterflies moving again, shaking her head.

Bucky just squeezed her hand and thanked them for the compliment.

They were so caught up in each other, without realizing it, that they didn't notice the person following them, taking pictures.

They definitely didn't notice the scowl on that persons face or the growl when he saw they were holding hands and how they looked at each other.

They didn't hear much over the sounds of kids playing outside. Like a bottle hitting a wall and breaking across the street as they went back into her home.

Chapter 8

#steve x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #angst with a happy ending #the wrong one

[berrieluv]

What If I'm Someone You Don't Want Around?

Steve Harrington x fem! Reader. Hurt no comfort because I'm tired and done with life.

Steve fought against the weight of his own eyes and tried to listen to Robin and Eddie in front of him.

He's never been like this. He usually doesn't drink this much. He doesn't do drugs. And he definitely doesn't mix drugs and alcohol.

He has the vague memory of Eddie trying to stop him. Steve shouldn't be doing drugs and alcohol at the same time. Not when he doesn't even know how to control alcohol. But Robin was doing the same too, and he wanted to have fun with both of his best friends.

He doesn't remember why you're not there. He does notices Nancy worried and over the fun, circling the own space she was standing. Jonathan, well, he was amused. Not because he wasn't worried about Steve, but because he was almost as high as him.

Robin pleads for him to not close his eyes and he shooks his head, promising he won't. Robin smiles at him, asking if it's alright if she takes him home now. But he can't. He can't come home to Joyce and Hopper. Not when they were the first loving family he ever had. Not when just yesterday Joyce told him how proud of him she was.

"S' alright, Steve" Jonathan started "Mom won't say anything. She says it's fine as long as you know your limits"

But Steve clearly disrupted his own limits that same night. He shook his head again. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be there, not without you at least.

"My girl" He pleaded, looking at Robin with a worried face and at the edge of tears "Please call my girl"

It was a matter of minutes the time it took you to arrive there. Worried, because Robin sounded concern over the phone but she won't give any further explanation.

"Baby..." You called as soon as you saw Steve. He looked sad, defenseless. He was sitting on the floor in a corner of the big club. "Hey? Steve?"

He looked at you and flashed a smile, which disappeared as soon as he showed it. He was ashamed of himself. He was in the worst he has ever been and you were there. Watching him, you wouldn't want him anymore.

You would notice the mess he was and you'll leave him. He doesn't want you to leave.

"Please don't go..." He pleaded, crying, a broken tone in his voice and it drowned you in sadness. Because you didn't want Steve feeling like that "I'm sorry... I'm not this. I'm not just this. I'm more. I'm much more..." A pause, almost as if he was trying to make himself believe what he was saying "... I can be much more than this"

You knew it. Everyone did. You didn't think of Steve like this, no one around here in fact did. Steve Harrington, once king of Hawkins High, Steve Harrington who found redemption. Steve Harrington who took care of six children even if he didn't have to. Steve Harrington who befriended the town freak and convinced Eddie Munson that Art School would be his better fit. Steve Harrington who made amends with Jonathan and accepted what happened with Nancy had a reason to be. Steve Harrington who was so painfully, utterly, deeply, madly in love with you.

Steve harrington was all that, and not you or anyone would think of him as a drug addict or an alcoholic.

"Once in a while won't hurt" You say. "You wanna go home"

He panics: "I can't. No, no, please, not home"

"Alright... what about a hotel?" He nods "Sounds better right? Let's go, baby"

You smile as you watch Steve stand up and you laugh when he falls down back to the floor again, he can't help but chuckle with you.

"Sorry I disturbed your night" He starts "You're my girl. I should take care of you"

And that line was the exact reason you couldn't believe what was happening.

It was around 4:00 a.m. and Steve wasn't around. The room door was closed but the lock was put back. It was dark and cold, the streets weren't a safe place for Steve, not this late at night, not in his state.

You asked the receptionist about him, and she told you he even took the car. He seemed to be in a hurry, so you give her the card key back and walk to the exit door. Believing he couldn't be that far like that.

At some point you didn't even know where you were. The stores looked like nothing you've seen before and most of the street lights were off, the pavement was a bit humid and the only source of light you saw was from a 24 hours store.

You were tired, cold and scare. You had to give your cash and phone to someone, avoiding any kind of conflict they wanted to create.

"Hi" You called the tall boy behind the counter "I– I'm lost... Can I use your cellphone to call my... my boyfriend?"

He must have sense your desperation and the cold traveling through your bones because he accepted with no hesitation and handed you his coat.

You thanked him and dialed Steve's phone number. It ringed. One, two, three times. He hung up the call. So you tried again, and again.

"M' sorry... he usually, he always picks up"

"Maybe because it'a an unknown number"

You nod, and asked him to call someone else. He allowed you to, and Nancy picked up at the first ring.

...STUPID! ...RECKLESS... HOW COULD YOU BE SO, SO, SO IRRESPONSABLE.

The screams died as soon as Nancy said your name, you could bet whoever was there was surrounding her, trying to hear you at the other side of the phone. And you tried to smile, happy that your friends were always there.

"Nancy?" You asked again, even thought you knew it was her "I'm... I actually don't know... where I am. It's cold. And I'm scare" You cried.

... where she is.

You heard Eddie's voice at the other side of the line, Nancy told him you don't know and he demanded her to talk to you. She wouldn't allow it, she's the one keeping it together there. You don't need Eddie and Hopper's desperation, or Robin, Jonathan and Joyce worries. And the last thing you needed was Steve cries.

"Hey, pretty" Nancy started "Is there anyone you could ask where you are?"

"There's this guy who handed me his phone"

"Cool. Put him on the speaker, please"

By 8:00 a.m. you were having breakfast at Joyce Byer's table. A delicious plate of fluffy pancakes standing in front of you, the only thing getting your attention right now. You were starving, and you were just recovering from the cold morning air.

You completely missed Steve cries and pleas. You were incapable of hearing a single word he was saying. And it wasn't like you were intentionally ignoring him. He just wasn't one of your worries right now.

If he could leave you just like that, at a hotel you didn't know. In a part of town unknown to you, then he was the least of your concerns right now.

"Leave her alone, Steve" You heard Robin slapping his hand off of your thighs.

You frowned and looked at him, realizing just now he was touching you. Just realizing he was trying to talk to you, but he seemed like a blur, so you looked at Robin instead, who smiled at you and kissed your forehead.

You didn't want to see Steve, so it was a big relief you couldn't.

"This breakfast is delicious, Joyce"

Steve took your shoulders and made you look at him. And you had no option but look at the dark circles down his eyes and the puffiness of his skin.

"Please, don't act like I don't exist"

"Maybe we should have breakfast outside" Nancy said, looking at the table to see Jonathan taking his and her plate and heading outside, the others following leaving you and steve. Alone.

"Please, talk to me"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say, Stevie" You chuckle "Was funny though. You left me there, by myself, in a place I didn't know. You took the car and my credit car. And you just, pranked me, I guess"

"Baby..."

"Were you mad because I couldn't go to the party?" He tries to speak but you continue "I really couldn't. I told you, I explained to you what I had to do, I was clear and I was honest" Tears were falling down your face at that point "Were you trying to... to punish me? To humiliate me for leaving you alone?"

"Of course no"

"If you hate me... If you hate our relationship, our dynamic, my schedules, my career... you cheat. You cheat on your partner when you're not happy, you go behind my back and fuck someone else... you don't leave me on my own, worried. I thought the worst thing that would happen was you driving while intoxicating and you were just trying to get rid of me!" You raised your voice "I gave away my phone! I gave away my money and I had to pray God or anyone who could respond right in that moment for someone to not... touch me!"

"Darling..."

"I don't want to be with someone like that" You say and chuckle "I don't think of you as a drug addict. Or an alcoholic. I know you're much more than that. You're evil. You're mean and you're disrespectful. You had no concern for my well being, you didn't care that your girlfriend was outside at fucking 4 a.m. You didn't stop to think about me"

"I did. I think about you, I think about you all the time I left and I was thinking about you, about how I was ashamed of you seeing me like that because I just, I don't want to be someone you rather not have around"

"You are someone I don't want around anymore, Steve"

#steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x fem!reader

[proshippers-against-censorship]

might be a bit of a controversial take? But imo I feel like antis who are either poc or black seemingly make the color of their skin the only redeeming quality of themselves, or just want EVERYTHING to revolve around that

Someone’s OC or anime character is not black? Let’s edit them into a black character! And mind you I have absolutely nothing against black edits. I even agree, black people are unfairly underrepresented in games/anime and this has only recently become a little bit better

but the edits I saw were mostly poorly done or gave the characters blurry oversized Afros that cover 90% of the face and colors that will clash with everything else going on, like backgrounds. Or they would “fix” someone’s art and then claim desaturated art pieces or pastel color palettes were “whitewashing”

Whitewashing is a serious problem that happens and shouldn’t happen so often in media but I’m begging people to understand that lighting, pastel and saturation as color options exist

Oh no I fully agree.

That and folks nitpick every piece of poc art but then get mad when artists start only drawing white characters because they're sick of the nitpicking. Personally, I just don't post original human characters anymore because you can do everything right and folks will still pitch a fit.

Also, fixing art is literally art theft and people who 'fix' art without permission from the artists are scum. I will die on this hill.

Draw your own art. And make it look good, God dammit. If I see another copy-pasted afro I may cry. So many creative hairstyles out there. And learn color theory, lads. Please. I beg.

(Not going to touch too much on the 'my skin tone is my only redeeming quality' note just because I just KNOW that's going to drag in some stinkies and I'm too eepy from my drive yesterday to deal with them. I do agree, though. Or the 'support me because I'm a [insert trait here] artist' thing. Like I'm sorry but if your art or product is shit I'm not spending money on it, idc how much of a minority you are. Trying to guilt-trip and frame anybody who doesn't support you as 'bad' because your art or product sucks is stinky.)

#proshippers against censorship #jackal barks #proship please interact #proship positivity #proship #proshipping #proshipper #proshippers please interact #proshipper safe #anti anti #ask #asks

[oreharuuu]

éta ritual (5)

Summary: Meeting San's two friends was an interesting experience yet...you can't help but hide your suspicion about them.

Warnings: none

A/N: I'M SORRY I WAS LATE POSTING THIS! I've rewritten the whole thing because I wasn't happy with it, but I'm satisfied with the whole thing now so ENJOY :)

"Oh, please. You think the library is swamped on a Monday?"

"Oh, (name). You don't have to say sorry for taking a few days off," Suho hummed as you placed your phone on your shoulder. You huffed, dragging the trash bag outside of your apartment. "I feel bad because you only have Mark working at the moment."

You shrugged before realizing Suho can't see it. "It might. You never know."

Suho sighed. "Well, don't worry. You better finish that problem sooner or later. Are you staying with someone?"

"Yeah, my neighbor."

San was an angel for letting you stay on his couch for the meantime. It's only been a day since the incident but you're trying to clean up at a faster pace because you don't want to bother San anymore. He's adamant that he's okay with the whole thing but you don't want to stay longer because that man is a menace.

You only stayed one day at his apartment to calm yourself down and relax before doing any work, but damn did San not know the term 'personal boundaries'. You slept on the couch because your heart's going to burst if you step into San's room. The one morning you woke up to the smell of bacon, you sat up only to go eyes wide when you saw San shirtless. He's only wearing pajama pants but the pants are down to his hips, showing the top of his underwear? Boxers? You don't even know because your mind isn't working right.

Laying back down you only stared at the ceiling as you tried to erase the image from your mind. You could've sworn you heard a growl somewhere nearby, but your heart stopped literally when San appeared smiling, his dimple showing.

Fuck.

"Morning, (name)! Breakfast is ready, come eat it before I eat everything," He smiled as he walked away again to grab a plate for himself.

That morning you looked everywhere besides San's godly body, not noticing how he's hiding his smirks as he purposely stretched and flexed his muscles.

Thankfully San needed to run some errands before working tomorrow. But that didn't stop yourself from ogling at how his clothes fit nicely to his body like a glove. "I'm gonna go now, you sure you don't want me to buy anything?" San asked.

"No thanks," You smiled. "I'm good."

San smiled before waving goodbye, closing the door before you huffed and screamed into the pillow you slept yesterday.

"—So I'm guessing this neighbor is also helping you?"

You snapped out of your head, coughing lightly before answering Suho. "No, actually. His friends are willing to help though because he's busy with work."

"Hmm, what a nice man."

You sighed. "Tell me about it."

You and Suho kept talking over the phone as you mindlessly cleaned what you can in your apartment. As Suho was talking about a cute dog he saw yesterday, a knock stopped you from grabbing the trash. "Suho, can I call you later? I think his friends are here."

Saying goodbye, you turned off the call before making yourself presentable with the hoodie, joggers, and messy hair. You're too lazy to change anyway and you're cleaning. Fixing your glasses you walked to the door before opening it.

What a sight it was.

Both of the men were tall. One with brown hair and one with bold coloured hair. You've never met anyone with hair of neon yellow and orange make it look so good.

"Hi, are you (name)?" The man with brown hair asked, making you nod. "Yeah, I'm (name). I'm assuming your San's friends?"

"Yup!" The other man cheerily replied. "My name's Mingi, this is Yunho. Nice to meet you."

Your tense body slowly went lax, smiling at how cute Mingi is. They both have golden retriever energies so you don't sense any bad things from them. Although their height is still making you a bit uneasy because of how short you are compared to them.

"Nice to meet you too! Thank you really for offering to help."

Yunho waved you off. "It's fine, besides we don't really have anything to do. And we've been dying to meet the girl San was gushing over."

Hearing that you tried to hide the rising heats on your cheeks by coughing, hiding behind the door before appearing back to them. "Thank you! But sadly San never told me about you guys. Are you guys close friends or...?"

"Oh!" Mingi smiled. "Let's say we've been together for a long time."

"Very, very, long time," Yunho smirked.

"Hmm, must be good friends then."

Mingi and Yunho only nodded, so you opened the door wider to let them in. You're embarrassed as both of the men looked around your apartment with an unreadable expression, shifting uneasily when Yunho turned back to look at you.

"I presumed you already cleaned this already?"

"Well yeah, not all though. Just started cleaning a few hours a go," You shrugged helplessly.

Mingi and Yunho exchanged glances before Mingi asked back. "So...the apartment is actually more cleaner now?"

You nodded.

Yunho smiled but you know it's not a pleasant one, while Mingi scowled before shaking his head with a sigh. "San told us the girl is your friend?"

"Was," You snarked back. "After the stunt she pulled I'm not sure I'll be able to hold myself back from punching her. But then again I'll probably just think about it instead of actually doing it."

"I'm supporting you to punch her. If my Cas—uh, apartment was trashed like this or even worse, I'd say kill her," Yunho shrugged, Mingi nodding along in agreement.

"Yeah, not taking any chances here," You huffed before making your way towards the mess on your kitchen. "I believe you both came here to help me?"

Both of them grin, separating as they make their way towards the mess inside. You huffed before grabbing the trash bags outside before deciding to clean your bedroom next. It's not as trashed as the living room, but still messy nonetheless.

"You need help here?" Yunho popped his head inside your room, carrying a trash bag over his shoulder. You looked around before shaking your head. "Nope. I'm good here."

You noticed how Yunho lingers around the door, noticing how he's shifting his gaze around your room. Before you could ask him what's wrong, a knock from the door interrupted your question.

You swore you heard a growl from Yunho but you ignored it. It sounds too...inhuman for it to come from an actual human. "Someone visiting you?" Yunho cocked his head towards the door.

"Actually...no."

You heard the door open, instantly thinking that Mingi opened the door. You heard talking so you brushed off any dust from your clothes before walking towards the door, Yunho following behind.

"Mark? What're you doing here?"

"(name)!" Mark smiled happily. "Wanted to visit you before going to work, Suho told me what happened. So I bought something for you."

"Aww, thanks. You really didn't have to," You walked up to grab the bag from Mark's hand, noticing the delicious smell. "Damn, right on time. Thanks for the food!"

"Wanted to eat with you, but it seems you have company..."

"Oh!" You forgot Yunho and Mingi were here, looking back at them before pointing. "That's Yunho, that's Mingi. They're actually my neighbor's friends, they wanted to help me."

"Oh, hi!"

"Hello," Mingi replied with a smile but you noticed how it didn't reach his eyes. Yunho only nodded with a tense smile, making the atmosphere awkward before you cleared your throat. "Wanna come in? I mean you did buy the food."

Mark opened his mouth before closing it. You frowned when suddenly his eyes looked blank, almost empty. "Mark? You okay?" You waved a hand in front of him, but no response.

"Actually," He started. "I remembered I had something to do before I go to work. It's best if I work on it."

Weird. He sounded like a stranger to you with that kinda of language and tone, but you shrugged before hugging him. "Alright, hope it goes well. Take care Mark!"

Mark's body was lax so you thought he didn't want any hugs right now, but his blank gaze was still etched on his face. Glancing back at Mingi and Yunho, you noticed the subtle yet annoyed smirk Yunho had while Mingi straight up looked scary as he glared at Mark.

"Uh...anything wrong here?"

Mingi glanced at Yunho before his face melts from any tension, smiling at you before grabbing your back gently. "All fine, love. Maybe Mark's a little...tired. Let's leave him be."

You frowned but nodded nonetheless. Mark did mentioned how his professor seems to have a grudge towards him, always making him revise a few assignments. "Maybe. Bye, Mark! I'll see you at work!"

Mark didn't even wave before Yunho closed the door, a bit strong in your opinion. You saw how Yunho was hunched, huffing softly before looking back at you with a smile. You hold back the shiver that just went through your body, slowly inching away from Mingi; not noticing his gaze always looking at you.

You swore his eyes was red but in an instant it vanished. Jumping back to Mingi, you didn't even notice Yunho already standing in front of you.

"So," He purred. "Shall we continue were we left off?"

#poly ateez x reader #yandere ateez #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez

[whatsnewalycat]

Just Dumb Enough to Try

Chapter 26: This Must be the Place

Word Count: 4.5k+

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Tags / CW: swearing, pregnancy, fluff fluff fluff, love notes, smut, oral sex (f receiving), teasing, unprotected PIV sex, gave javi some gray sweatpants bc he deserves it and so do we

Chapter Summary: Our heroes spend the morning together.

Notes: Chapter title from "This Must be the Place" by Talking Heads. This is the last chapter!! Holy shit! I'm putting this out earlier than anticipated because I'm getting antsy about it and I really like it as is. Seriously I'm going to go cry now, because I'm feeling sad and proud and excited all at once. I'll *probably* write more with these two in the future, though. That sounds fun. If you liked it let me know, pleaaaase, I'm a whiney baby that loves reassurance!! OK THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[ Masterlist for Series ] [ Taglist ] [ Spotify Playlist ] [ AO3 ]

Peña Ranch, Laredo, TX  November 29, 1998

Your eyes blink open to late morning light pouring onto the bed. As they attempt to adjust from the darkness of sleep, you clamp them shut, rolling over to throw your arm across Javier. 

Except, he’s not there. Your arm flops onto something crinkly instead. One eye cracks open and finds a pile of papers folded in half where your boyfriend usually is. Their ragged edges are intact, proof that they were yanked out from the spine of a spiral notebook. 

You pick up the bundle and blink both eyes open. 

“READ ME” is scrawled on the top fold in Javi’s messy script. You take a deep morning yawn and wriggle upright, propping yourself up on a stack of pillows. The comforting scent of brewing coffee wafts into the bedroom. Javi is humming along to the radio in the kitchen. Pans clatter and cupboards slam by his hand as you unfold the stack of papers and start reading. 

—

December 5, 1993 

I can’t stop thinking about you. How are you even doing this to me? 

Yesterday I went to your apartment building. Your bedroom lights were on and the blinds were closed. I sat outside for an hour, knowing you were there, unable to bring myself to do anything about it. 

Even if I could have gathered the courage to knock on the door, what would I have said to you? 

I like the feel of your hand in mine. I like your laugh. You’re beautiful. Do you want to go on a date with me? 

Those words shouldn’t make a man like me nervous, but they do. So nervous that I left San Antonio without letting them leave my mouth. 

—

December 1, 1994 

It’s been a year since I kissed you. 

I had to leave. I’m sorry. Duty calls. 

Maybe we’ll meet again. Sometimes I hope we don’t. It’s for the best. You’ll find someone better. 

—

June 4, 1998

I can’t tell you this. So I’m writing to you. I know you’re engaged, and you’re happy with Dan fucking Baker. Even though it makes no sense to me. 

But I’ll be damned. Every time I look at you I remember exactly what you felt like. What you taste like. I crave your lips on mine again.  

—

June 13, 1998

When I’m with you, we’re opposite poles in magnets resisting the inevitable. The pull is so strong, I ache. You feel it, too. I can tell. 

Your lips, your touch, the perfect way I fit inside you. I can never unlearn these things. I’ve tried. They’re etched in my bones. It’s fundamental, as central to my being as breathing. 

I long for you, love. It’s torture. 

— 

June 25, 1998

I am in love with you. 

So, here I am, writing to you, imagining I had the guts to say it. 

This is absolute fucking madness, cariño. But I woke up next to you and saw you there and I knew. 

— 

July 30, 1998 

I don’t know where you are, but I saw you. I can feel you. I don’t know how I know, but I know. You’re scared. I’m scared, too. I’ve never been so terrified to lose someone. 

When I lost my mom, I didn’t get to be scared. One moment she was on her way back from the grocery store, and the next she was gone. In an instant, the sun in our lives burnt out. 

You would have loved her. Everyone did, she was just that kind of person. She had a wit about her. Lit up any room she walked into, but nobody fucked with her.

She loved deer because of their polarity and intuition. They’re gentle, fierce, cautious, adventurous. They shed and regrow their antlers. She said they’re symbolic of duality, listening to your gut feelings, renewal and growth. She would have loved you, too. 

There are so many things I want to tell you. I should have listened to you. I didn’t let you come with me. You trusted me to protect you, and I didn’t. I’m so sorry. 

I promise I will find you. I love you and miss you so much, cariño. Please hold on a little bit longer. 

Tell baby Peña I say hello and that I love them, too.

— 

August 1, 1998 

I’m watching you as you sleep in our bed. You’re battered, bruised, stitched together… but you and the baby are ok. It’s a fucking miracle, cariño, I swear. 

I introduced myself to your parents in the hospital waiting room last night. Your dad looked at my extended hand like there was shit smeared on it. They’re right to not want anything to do with me right now. 

It’s a good thing their approval means approximately jack shit to you. Because I am never letting you go. 

— 

November 29, 1998

Today’s the day I give you the letters I never thought I would, so I can show you how much I love you. How much I’ve always loved you. 

Come out to the kitchen, baby. 

— 

You sniffle and rub the tears out of your eyes and set the unfolded stack of love letters down on the black duvet, then scoot to the edge of the bed. The floor is cool on the soles of your feet, one then the other. Javi starts singing “I Just Want to Dance With You” by George Strait. Your heart swells with love. You grab your fuchsia robe from the back of the desk chair and tie it around your body as you emerge from the bedroom and follow his voice. 

He’s leaning on the kitchen island over a newspaper crossword puzzle, one hand holding a pen as the other slides his wire framed glasses up the bridge of his nose, singing, “I caught you lookin' at me when I looked at you; Yes, I did, ain't that true? You won't get embarrassed by the things I do; I just wanna dance with you…”

You greet him with a giddy smile, padding across the floor towards him, “Good morning.”

A smile stretches across his handsome face when he peers up at you from the newspaper, “Good morning, beautiful.” 

He sets the pen down and pushes off of the counter, meeting you with an outstretched hand. You take it, and he pulls you close, placing one hand on your waist. He guides you in a clumsy waltz to the tempo of the music. 

You giggle at him as he presses his forehead to yours. The lyrics of the upbeat ballad drift from his mouth, hot on your cheek. When the song ends, he keeps his fingers interlaced with yours and leads you to the kitchen island, where you take a seat on a stool across from him. 

He goes to the coffee pot and pours you a cup, then sets it down in front of you. Steam curls out of the white ceramic mug that reads CAVE WITHOUT A NAME. You wrap a hand around it, humming with glee, “Thank you, baby.” 

“Did you sleep good?” he asks, a grin spread across his face as he leans his elbows onto the newspaper. 

He is up to something.  

“I did,” your face flushes as your fingertip runs along the circumference of the steaming mug, collecting condensation, “I, um- I read your notes.” 

He brings his coffee mug to his lips and takes a sip, then sets it down and asks, “Did you like them?” 

You nod and your mouth gapes open as you try in vain to formulate words that could possibly explain the love and devotion bubbling inside you. Every moment you spend with him makes you love him even more. A feat you didn’t even think was possible. Yet, here you are. He wakes you up with love notes, dances with you in the kitchen, smiles at you with those fucking dimples, and you’re falling in love all over again. 

The euphoria that cycles through your veins when he’s touching you. The dread that clutches your heart when you imagine existing without his presence. The deep ache of adoration in your chest when you stare at him long enough to feel sentimental about it. All the ways he occupies your body and soul. Every ounce of you knows that this is it . 

Everything you can think of falls flat. Your face feels hot and your heart flutters. Happy tears prick in your eyes as they meet his and your eyebrows draw together, “You really wrote all of those?”  

He reaches across the countertop and closes your hand in his, nodding, “I did.” 

“Oh, Javi-“ the lump in your throat chokes you up and you wipe away the tears spilling onto your cheeks, “I’m sorry for crying, I just-“ you sniffle and pout at him, “I love you so much. I don’t even know how to explain.” 

“I love you too, cariño,” he rubs his thumb along the back of your hand affectionately. His smile hasn’t faltered, even as he tells you, “I think I’m going to get you to break your record today.” 

The record he speaks of is the number of times you’ve cried in a day. For the past week, tears have become a common reaction to overwhelming emotions. The pregnancy hormones are mingling with your recent life changes, on top of your predisposition to being a crybaby already, and have made you a sappy, teary-eyed disaster. 

Yesterday, he found you outside watching Pickles wriggle around on his back. Your eyes were puffy and bloodshot, face wet from bawling. When he asked what was wrong, your answer was, “Nothing, he’s just so cute I feel like my heart is going to explode.” 

Your record is 10 cries in one day. You’ve been awake for about a half an hour and have already cried twice. It’s an impressive start. 

You sniffle again and wipe the stagnant tears away, then start laughing because you can’t even continue to take him seriously. He’s just fucking beaming at you. 

“What the fuck are you laughing about?” he starts laughing, too, then makes his way around the counter to you. 

His rough hands cup your cheeks and you shake your head as you grin up at him, “I just think you’re really great.”

“Yeah?” his smile widens, and you nod in response. He leans in and presses his lips to yours. The kiss is a sweet peck, and you link your arms behind his neck to draw him in again, lingering longer this time. He inhales sharply as your tongue meets his, flipping your stomach upside down. His touch trails back to the hinges of your jaw, and he brushes the sleep-mussed hair from your face as the kiss deepens. 

A soft moan rumbles in your throat and you get to your feet, arching your back into him. His hands find your waist and pull you closer, and you can feel his cock hardening against you under the loose constraints of his lazy Sunday morning sweatpants. But he pulls back, speaking to you between needy, wet kisses, “Wait- mmm, gotta- gotta show you something-“ 

You pout and look up at him as you bring one hand down to his tented pants and rub your thumb in a circle against the tip of his length, “Can it wait?” 

He throws his head back as a hiss sucks the air from his lungs, then brings his eyes back to yours and shakes his head, “Can’t wait.” 

“Are you sure?” you bat your eyelashes and continue to tease him, feeling a bead of pre-cum wet the fabric between his cock and the pad of your thumb. 

A huge smile spreads across his face as he shudders, then pulls you back in for a smoldering kiss. He shakes his head as he gasps against your mouth, “So impatient, cariño.” 

“You want me to stop, baby?” you ask innocently, then roll your tongue against his and wrap your hand around his sweatpants-bound cock. He grabs your wrist gently and laces your fingers with his, then brings the back of your hand to his lips, where he plants a kiss. 

“What I want-“ he lowers himself onto one knee and pulls a little black velvet box out of his pocket. Every cell in your body comes to a standstill. He releases your hand so he can open it, revealing a gold band with a solitary sparkling white gemstone, “Is for you to marry me.” 

A surge of adrenaline floods your bloodstream, making you lightheaded, and you breathe, “Wh- what?” 

Your heart pounds impossibly fast in your chest as he looks up at you with those puppy dog eyes and asks, “Will you marry me?” 

Tears brim your eyes for the third time this morning, cheek-burning smile breaking out on your face when you answer him, “Fuck yes I will.” 

“Yeah?” he laughs and his smile is all dimples and perfect teeth when he plucks your hand up and slides the ring onto your finger. 

You laugh through your crying and nod. He gets to his feet and cups your cheeks again, thumbs wiping the tears away, and he kisses you with heat, guiding you backwards until you butt up against the dining room table. 

You cease kissing and throw your head back as laughter bubbles from your throat, “I can’t believe you just let me keep fondling you when you were going to ask that!” 

A smile stretches across his face as he chuckles and shrugs, “You’re very persuasive.”

Your eyebrow quirks, “Oh yeah?”

“But I couldn’t wait any longer,” his face softens into a loving gaze and your heart aches as it melts in your chest. He takes your left hand and holds it up so he can look at the ring he just adorned on your finger, and questions, “Do you know what today is?” 

Your stomach flips and you nod, “I met you five years ago today.” 

“That’s right,” the corners of his mouth upturn and he plants a kiss on your hand, “I fell in love with you five years ago today.” 

Your eyes sting as tears flood them again, the deep well of adoration and love you have for this man just too much to bear, and you pout, “This really isn’t fair, you’re trying to make me cry now.” 

His eyes fold into crescents as he laughs heartily, then presses his forehead against yours, “I love you.” 

“I love you, too, Javier,” you raise your hands to his face, thumbs scraping against the stubble he hasn’t shaved off yet this morning. He kisses you slowly, a series of lazy, wet lingering pecks. 

His hands trail down to your waist, then over and under your ass, palming the cheeks over your thin cotton robe. 

His nose nuzzles against yours and he hums in contentment, “Where were we?” 

“I think,” you drop your gaze to his tented pants and smirk as you bring your grasp around him, circling the dark gray wet spot with your thumb, “We were going to the bedroom.”

He groans at the touch, then shakes his head as he guides you onto the table and nudges your knees apart, “I want you right here.”

You let out a soft coo when he tugs on the sash of your robe until it’s undone and falls open, exposing your naked body. He cradles your head like it’s made of something delicate and priceless, then drags his tongue across yours, sending molten heat dripping down your spine. His lips press against your jawline and he hesitates. 

You whisper, “Kiss my neck.”

“Are you sure?” his eyebrows press together and he pulls back to meet your eyes, searching for reassurance. 

Recently, you both learned that touch to your neck is a trigger now. He has been cognizant not to touch you in the area since an incident, in which he innocuously put his hand to your throat during sex, led to your hyperventilating on the bedroom floor. 

Throughout your recovery after those two days in hell with Dan as your keeper, Javi has been fucking wonderful. 

When you wake up in the night, screaming and crying, thinking you’re still in that closet, he holds you, rocking back and forth, singing quietly as he strokes your hair and lulls you back to sleep. You do the same for him sometimes. 

In the first few weeks, when you would be alone for an extended period of time while Javi and Chucho were out working, panic attacks found you. You would call Javi from their home phone and he’d have you tell him all the things you could see that start with a certain letter, then he would talk you through grounding exercises. 

If it weren’t for the support you receive from him and your therapist, you would be a catastrophe. As opposed to what you are now, which is simply a mess. 

You nod and tilt your chin up, exposing the column of your throat, “I want it. I trust you.” 

“Will you tell me if it’s too much?” his touch falls to your ribcage and ghosts down your sides to your hips, pricking your skin with goosebumps. 

“I promise,” you breathe, and it turns into a gasp when his tongue massages a circle into your pulse. Your whole body shudders when he seals his lips against you and sucks gently. He migrates down your neck, leaving a trail of saliva shiny on your skin, sending your heart racing and your center vibrating with lust. 

“Oh, Javi, that’s so good baby,” you whimper to the ceiling, raking your fingers through his hair. His lips emit a low hum against you, moving to your collarbone where his teeth catch your skin. Your back arches into him, moaning in approval of the sharp sting. He soothes the bite with the gentle caress of his tongue. 

Rough hands skate along the tender skin of your thighs. The contact floods you with a neediness, and you grab at his shirt, whimpering, “I want you, Javi.”

He brings his lips to your ear and purrs, “I’m not done with you yet.”

“Come on,” you pout and reach for his swollen member, but he redirects your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. 

“You need to learn patience, babygirl,” he chastises, then flicks your earlobe with his tongue before grinding it between his teeth. A spring of pleasure flows down to your cunt. You moan in response, pelvis thrusting forward with a mind of its own. He whispers, “Does that sweet little pussy need attention?”

The words slither around inside you, making you squirm, and you nod breathlessly, “Y-yes.”

His free hand splays across your chest, “Well, that’s too fucking bad . Gonna take my time with you,” he warns as he pushes you back gently until you recline onto your elbows, “Gonna make you beg for it.” 

His hot gaze meets yours as his velvet tongue flattens on one of your pebbled nipples. His head swivels back and forth, dragging his tongue across the sensitive bud at a torturously slow tempo. Another shudder runs down the middle of you. 

“Fuck- “ you gasp, arching into the contact, head falling backwards for a moment before you return to meet his love-blown eyes. 

He responds by taking the nipple between his front teeth and tugging ever-so-gently. You moan from deep in your throat at the ripples of ecstasy that shoots across your body. Your cunt clenches around nothing. He moves to the other tit and works away, lapping and nibbling down on your nipple until you’re writhing beneath him, a constant stream of whimpers falling from your mouth. 

“Fuck me, please, Javi, please- “ 

“I will, cariño,” he promises, planting a hot, wet kiss on your sternum, then your belly, never breaking eye contact, “When I’m ready.” 

His tongue draws slow, lazy circles down the soft skin of your abdomen. The sensation rolls across your body and liquifies. He has you shivering and gasping at each touch. 

You huff, "Now?" 

He chuckles at your frustration, then instructs, “Scoot towards me.” 

You follow his order, wiggling forward until your glistening pussy is right on the edge of the table. His hands run down the backs of your thighs, and he spreads you open wide, on display for him. 

His eyebrows press into a crease and his lips form an "o" and he drops to his knees at the sight, purring, “I haven’t even touched this pretty pussy yet and, fuck, you’re already so wet.” 

“So fucking wet,” you whine, rolling your hips towards him, wordlessly begging him to touch you. 

His hot gaze locks on yours, looking up from between your legs as his tongue drags up the middle of your sex. Just a tease. A taste. You ache with want. 

“Fucking amazing, baby,” he breathes, and his gaze falls from yours as he gives his full, undivided attention to your cunt. His soft tongue starts rolling across your clit and you ascend to a different plane of existence. Those same molasses circles he drew all over your body, leaving a shiny trail of saliva to where he is now. Over and over and over again as he groans against you. 

The throbbing of pleasure keeps accumulating, condensing, slowly and steadily pushing you to new heights. Your face gets flushed and sweaty as your heart pounds in your chest. You roll your hips against his tongue, trying to get more. 

He rises to his feet and brings you closer, pressing his forehead to yours, cradling the back of your head with one hand as he pulls his sweatpants down with the other. His pants drop to the ground in a gray heap, releasing his thick, gorgeous cock. His lips capture yours with force, and he growls between messy kisses laced with your arousal, “See- how fucking- good you taste, cariño?”

"I love the way I taste in your mouth," you pant.

His thumb slides hard against your overly sensitive clit. The stimulation feels like an electric cattle prod to your pussy, sending your body bucking and shuddering. The pain is layered, though, and a deep want lays beneath. 

"Please, baby," you whine, grabbing at his shirt and tugging at him, "I need you, please-" 

You bite your lip in anticipation as the head of his cock nudges your entrance. His nose nuzzles against yours and he continues in a gravelly tone that ricochets down your spine, “Is that what you want, baby?”

Your lips form a pout and you nod, then gently thrust your hips against his, dipping him inside just enough to pull a rumble from his throat. The electric sharpness of his touch on your clit is overtaken by a wanton need for him to fucking destroy you. 

“Yes,” you whisper, tilting your pelvis against him, “Fuck me, Javi.”

He slowly drives his hips forward at your admission, filling you, sending waves of pleasure surging from your cunt to the tips of your toes. A moan is ripped from your throat and you throw your head back. He starts to fuck you, pumping into you deep and merciless. 

His lips find your neck again. He lays hot, wet kisses on the delicate skin. You run your fingers through his hair and gasp, “That’s fucking perfect, Javi, holy shit,” then tug at the front of his shirt, "Take it off."

He ceases movement, fully sheathed, and sits up, pulling the shirt off over his head. The shirt takes his new glasses with them and they clatter to the floor and he winces. You giggle at the clumsiness. The gentle jostling of your body around his cock trickles ecstasy into your center, and you gasp at the sensation. 

A sheen of sweat glistens atop his skin and he's panting as he meets your eyes with a grin. He looks happy. And in love. You probably do, too, because that's how you feel. The way your heart swells almost fucking hurts. 

You beckon him closer, and he follows, leaning in slowly to press his plush lips against yours. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, arching your back into him, digging your fingernails into his skin. He throbs inside you, making you gasp. His moan vibrates into your lips, and he starts pumping into you, faster, more frantic now. 

The way you're huddled against each other, whimpering between kisses, reveling in the divine pleasure each movement, each touch, brings you both. As it always does, it feels like you were made for each other. 

As if he can read your mind, he rasps, "I fucking love you."

"I love you, Javi. So- fuck- so fucking much," you pant, pulling his lips against yours again. 

He moans in approval and brings his hands to your waist, trailing up your back to your shoulders. He gets a grip on you here and leverages you down on his cock as he thrusts forward, setting a brutal pace. Your whole body buzzes and tingles, and the kisses grow more desperate. 

His hips snap into yours, bringing you up higher and higher as your muscles tighten and your body starts to quiver. 

“Javi-“ a choked sob escapes you as you start to ascend towards bliss, “I’m fucking cumming- oh, fuck-“

"Fuck yes, cum for me, babygirl," he orders through gritted teeth, "Wanna feel you squeeze me-"

You come completely undone, overtaken with ripples of ecstasy from your center. Your legs clamp down around his hips as your body spasms, and you can hear Javi moan in response to the sensation, pumping into you with reckless abandon a few more times before he spills inside you. 

Slowly, your muscles slacken and soften, but before you can release his shoulders from your grasp and lay back on the table, he whispers breathlessly, "Hold on tight."

"Wh-"

His hands move to your ass and you squeal when he picks you up. He carries you into the bedroom as you giggle into his neck, then you both tumble sideways onto the mattress. 

"Oh, that's so much better," he groans and sprawls out. 

You curl up into the crook of his arm, "You're the one that wanted to- nay, insisted that we- fuck on the table."

"Mmm," he hums and closes his eyes with a small smile playing on his lips, "Just wanted to eat your pussy for breakfast at the kitchen table."

This makes you laugh, loud and untethered, "Worth it?"

He chuckles and nods, eyes still closed, "Worth it." 

There's a flutter inside your belly and you gasp, "Oh my god, Javi."

"What?" his body tenses and his brow furrows. 

It flutters again and your eyes well with tears, "She's moving. I can feel her moving."

A dimpled smile stretches across his face and he sits up, placing a hand on your small, but still noticeable, baby bump. 

"I don't know if you'll be able to feel her kick on the outside," you tell him softly, then chuckle, "She's only a papaya right now."

"That's ok," he mumbles, smiling down at your belly, "Little Miss Rosemary Peña will be able to kick my ass before I know it."

"Probably," you tease. 

He grins at you and shakes his head, then lays back down, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to cuddle you closer. A comfortable, warm silence embraces the two of you, and your fingers trail along his chest, his belly, his face. Writing love notes on his skin. He plays with your hair and watches you with love sparkling in his dark eyes. 

You're home.

[ The End ]

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