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#sorry this lore has gotten me creative for memes
actuallysyrie · 3 years
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ghosthan · 3 years
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hello!! i saw that you made a lot of stuff for 1872 and i was wondering if 1872 tony is similar to regular comics tony?? i know mcu and comics tony are different and i want to get into 616, but if 1872 comics are more easy to read i might try those first! 😅
Hello, hello! 
Thank you for asking, and sorry it took me so long to get back to you! I wanted to think about it and put together a thoughtful response because I am desperately trying to convert MCU fans to 1872. Or comics fans who just haven’t gotten into 1872.
This post will contain some 1872 spoilers, but not the Big Spoiler that you probably already know about anyways. 
Anyways, let’s get into it. Yeehaw.
What is 1872? It’s Steve/Tony in the wild west.
1872 comics are very easy to read, very short, and you need absolutely no prior knowledge to get into them; I highly recommend these as a start point for MCU fans who are curious about dipping their toes into some of the other Steve/Tony universes. And 1872 is, indeed, a Steve/Tony universe. It’s really gay, (and dramatic.) Uh. So gay, in fact, that one of the comic artists who drew pages even occasionally shares Steve/Tony shipping memes. So.
Marvel 1872 is a four issue series released as a part of the Secret Wars event; you really do not need to know anything about this to enjoy 1872, because it is a self-contained alternate universe in a “pocket dimension”, meaning it’s totally separate from the 616 cannon but technically exists in the expanse of the multiverse!
Here’s the summary:
In the Battleworld zone of 1872, Sheriff Steve Rogers faces corruption and fear in the boom town of Timely. Can Anthony Stark pull Rogers' fat from the fire? Probably not, since the only thing he seems capable of pulling is a cork from a bottle. Things in Timely are bad, and getting worse — and when a stranger arrives in town, Timely will be changed forever.
Now, to compare “regular comics Tony”, or 616 Tony, with 1872 Tony.
The main difference? 616 Tony wears this sexy little under suit (or nothing) under his armor, like this:
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And 1872 Tony wears dirty, stinky one-piece pajamas under his armor (not sexy):
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He’s so gross, he’s a mess. I love him. You’ll love him, too. 
No, okay. Being serious.
 616!Tony’s backstory is a lot more complicated just due to how long the character has existed, and the decades of cannon (much of it self-contradictory at points.) Like MCU Tony, 616 Tony used to manufacture weapons, experiences something life-changing, and becomes who he is as a result of this as a catalyst. 616 Tony’s backstory has been rebooted a few times, and I’m definitely not the definitive source on Iron Man lore compared to people who have read all of his comics, but I’ll try to touch on the basics.
Originally, 616 Tony Stark is shaped by his experience in the Vietnam War. This is later rebooted and changed to war in the middle East (we see this in the MCU when Tony is held captive in Afghanistan.) In both circumstances, he is taken captive after being in the air for war technology, and then he creates the suit to save his own life (losing a beloved mentor in the process, the guilt of which stays with him after.)
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Tales of Suspense #39
In 1872, Tony’s formative event is the Civil War in some ways, but in other ways, this is only half of it, because this is not the event which causes him to build armor or set him onto his “become a better person” trajectory, like in the other comics. Mainly, the Civil War functions to cause Tony to stop weapons manufacturing and throw his life away down a bottle.
We get a flashback of Tony in the year 1862 with his female companion, picnicking and about to watch a battle, (rich people from the North did this in real life. If you’re interested, read more here!) We don’t get much of his past, but we discover that he is a rifle manufacturer and that he has created something called the ‘Stark Repeating Rifle’, and it seems that he has done so with the hope of encouraging a cease-fire, more than a slaughter.
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Well. We don’t always get what we ask for.
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Tony vows to actually never touch a weapon ever again, and this personal oath means so much to him that he gets creative at times during 1872 when he’s being chased by baddies:
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Witnessing the extreme bloodshed of the Civil War, and feeling responsible for a huge amount of deaths, Tony turns to drinking, (and presumably moves to the west to escape the Pain of his Past, but this is not shown explicitly on panel; I have assumed, though, that Tony’s weapons manufacturing company was in the East, probably Boston or New York, since he comes from family money and because the American West was still “young” at this point in time so it would be unlikely that an established business would be supplying a war from lawless territory with little infrastructure.)
In 616, it’s worth noting that Tony builds the armor to save himself from danger in a war scenario; this is not the case in 1872, things unfold a bit differently. The Civil War certainly sets in motion the chain of events that eventually lead to the creation of Tony’s armor, but he’s not in physical danger or physically traumatized by the war in this verse as he is in other verses, and 616 Tony seems to have a stronger sense of duty than 1872 Tony, but this might be a complication of the depression/apathy related to the alcoholism.
What I mean by this is that both iterations of Tony struggle with alcoholism, but differently. Mainly, while 616 Tony has several alcohol themed arcs, and hits rock bottom with his alcoholism to cope with his trauma, he is sober more than he is drunk in the comics. His drinking almost kills him, and he almost loses everything because of the drink. It’s a source of enormous shame for him.
In fact, during this time in 616, I think Tony at his lowest reminds me a lot of 1872 Tony; 616 Tony is not an apathetic person and he holds himself accountable for an obscene amount of responsibility, but during what is referred to in fandom as The Second Drinking Arc, Tony basically gives up. This is the most “like” 1872 Tony, at least at the start of his arc. Rhodey takes over the mantle of Iron Man, and 616 Tony spirals, not caring whether he lives or dies, not hero-ing certainly.
We see both versions of Tony express similar sentiments, a certain cavalier attitude about their lives (and outright suicidality at other points) with nothing left but the drink.
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Iron Man Vol. 1 #182
Compare with:
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And you can certainly see a resemblance between this set of panels from IM v.1 #176 and in 1872:
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Iron Man Vol. 1 #176 and Marvel 1872 #1
It’s a little different in 1872, where his drinking really is purely a result of his existing despair, and it doesn’t cause enormous problems for him, (minor problems, sure. He spends a lot of time drunkenly singing to Sheriff Rogers, or bothering him from the inside of a jail cell.) But this Tony lives at rock bottom, whereas 616 Tony only stays at rock bottom long enough to get his life back together (as many times as it takes.)
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This Tony really doesn’t show any outward shame about his drinking; presumably, the people he knows in Timely have only ever known Tony as a drunk, and none of the people from his old life are here to see him like this. 
This is a Tony who has essentially given up on himself and has moved out West to hide from his shame and his past; this is not a Tony who is scared of letting down his friends by drinking, or scared of shirking his “duty”, because this Tony has moved away from all of his friends and has given himself no duties. He’s a bit more apathetic, but I would argue that this is not because he inherently is a less moral version of Tony, but because in this verse, he was drinking for a very long time and circumstances unfolded differently so it took him a longer time to find that sense of purpose and responsibility (beyond just shutting down manufacturing guns,) which is awakened in him by Steve Rogers. 
616 Tony’s sobriety is a major part of his character, and a conscious choice that he makes, even during some lowest points:
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Civil War: The Confession
He takes some amount of pride in his sobriety, and when he does fall off the wagon at times (or magic makes everyone think he did,) it absolutely tears him up because 616 Tony cares very, very much about his sobriety and does not like who he is when he’s drinking. We do not know if 1872 Tony’s father had been a drunk or not, but we know 616 Tony’s father was, and that the drink lead to him treating Tony abusively.
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Iron Man Vol. 1 #285 
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Avengers Disassembled #1 (This was when ~magic~ made Tony drunk and it wrecked him breaking sobriety without ever having actually drank. Oof.)
616 Tony’s long struggle with alcoholism is a major part of his character and he has had relapses over the years and throughout the reboots, but in general, he does not drink.
1872 Tony starts drinking in 1862 and doesn’t stop until the last pages of the story, so in terms of the cannon we have for him, he is a current drunk, rather than a former drunk. This isn’t to say he doesn’t stop; but since it’s in the last page or so, it sets the reader up to imagine his sober future, rather than exploring his sobriety as 616 does. (Calling all fanfic writers!)
Anyways, both Tony’s are excellent. Both are damaged and traumatized, both are Iron Man in their own ways, both (eventually) find sobriety, both have some cute, quippy dialogue (though 616 Tony tends to be more reserved/polite for sure, in general). 
The last thing I’ll point out, is that both Tonys’ narratives are intertwined with and influenced by their respective Steve Rogers. I’m not saying soulmates but I’m saying soulmates.
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Anyways. Sorry this post got super long, and I apologize if any of it is confusing or redundant, I am not functioning at my highest capacity currently. Please read 1872. Let it rock your world. Create & consume the fanworks, I would love to see a boom of 1872 content (more than the fics and art I keep making!) And my ask-box is always open!
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raridashdoodles · 5 years
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📖 Twilight have read and graded all your stories! 📖 
However, since she's a fictional character we'll discard her opinions! I'm the one with the money, so naturally my opinions are the only one that matters.
These are ranked from best to worst and I've scored all entries based on how entertaining (or infuriating) I found them to be. If you got a good score, be very proud! I am not easy to please. If you got a bad score, then it is time for you to go sit in the corner and think about your sins. 👻
First off, the winner and best of the show:
Fic: Love, And Other Felonies Author: PatchworkPoltergeist​ Grade: A+++ Review: This is pretty much a raridash masterpiece. In my humble opinion, it far surpasses all of the fanfics the raridash community considers its cream of the crop. It has everything from great structure, wonderful characterizations and is an overall fun, creative take on the NMM-verse timeline. The world-building and lore is an added plus and a surprise (didn't expect that due to time and theme restrictions). This is an excellent romance fanfic with Raridash at the heart of its story. The two of them share close to every moment together and have to lean on each other as there is no one else to trust in this harsh dystopian world. Watching these two walk on eggshells in a society where freewill and independent thinking is punishable by death is just as entertaining as it sounds!
If I had to critic this, I'd say the story's epilogue threw me off. I feel that too much character development were lost in amnesia world and the romance aspect just didn't fit the bill anymore. Felt forced and awkward.
Runner-ups:
Fic: My Little Confession Author: Pixel Berry Grade: B Review: Very plain and simple, but it works! Story is very brief and the characters barely has any time to be introduced, but it covers the bare minimum and the characters struggles and exchanges are both endearing, cute and wholesome. Equis High seemed like an interesting place and it would've been great if you could've expand upon it. The prompt lean near the end was way too on the nose and really ruined the flow of narration! You should've kept up your integrity and make up your own ending. An epilogue for this wouldn't hurt either since the story doesn't fade out, it just kind of ends... 
Style of narration was very odd and there were several pacing issues, but I feel the creativity makes up for it! These were the kind of stories I was hoping to get out of this competition. ❤️
Fic: Zero-Sun Game Author: Undome Tinwe Grade: C+ Review: This story had some good moments, but the genres stumble over each other constantly. This isn't goofy enough to make it a good comedy and it definitely isn't serious enough to work as a good drama. There aren't any real struggles and Rainbow Dash's character is practically flawless. She knows exactly what say and how to behave in order to get Rarity under her thumb and she can predict events with 100% accuracy, averting every single conflict thrown at her with ease. The more you read, the less intrigued you become. Everything becomes dull up until the ending where everything gets weird. In a story that has references to sex, vice and regicide, giving this story such a cheesy, awkward ending just didn't feel right at all.
You should've gone full comedy and have Rainbow Dash under investigation for being a potential super villain, only for it to be revealed her actions were not a result of amorality but stupidity. Drama could’ve work too, but you'd have to lose the virtual-reality shtick as it sucks away all the tension.
Fic: The Finale Author: Mymysteriox Grade: F Review: This story is called The Finale and as promised by the title, you are indeed dropped into the climax of a big dramatic story, having no clue as to what events has lead up to that moment. Ponies are yelling and crying and then the stage play end. The main characters are real pleased with themselves for performing this amazing play, we weren't allowed to see! The problem with this fanfic is that it is barely anything but a transcript to its prompt. There's no depth, backstory or even introductions. It's an empty shell.
Fic: Every One After Author: AJtheRaven Grade: F Review: This story's attempt at entertainment revolves itself around Rarity and Rainbow Dash being as petty and shallow as possible. In short, Rainbow Dash want a trophy wife and Rarity want an obedient little pupper. These aspirations are forced to the point you wonder why the two of them are an item in the first place. Romance stories who’s conflict are the characters hating each other with the resolution of them kissing and making up in the end are by far the cheapest, dirtiest things in the world. To add on that, it completely fails to utilize the prompt in any creative manner, making this already dull story that much duller. None of the interactions carried any sincerity and every setup was predictable. 
If you had plans to write a story out of pure spite then you might as well have gone full out and write a story where Rainbow Dash struggles to dispose of Rarity's lifeless body after having strangled her to death in a fit of rage. At least that way you could’ve gotten a passing score for creativity.
Fic: The Experimental RariDash Crackfic Author: Mystic Mind Grade: F Review: Every single joke in this are like nails on a chalk board. Rarity and Rainbow Dash serves no purpose to this story and could've been replaced by literally anyone. The narrator/Pinkie Pie is obnoxious to the point you want to bludgeon her to death and the story from beginning to end is nothing but meme characters stumbling around and bumping into each other. I was surprised you didn't include a scene where Discord popped in and start twerking in front of the audience, all while promoting his fortnite centered twitch channel. There isn’t a single redeeming factor in this story... Everything is just nauseating.
This might have been a decent story if it was a straight faced drama, but with what I’ve seen from this story I kind of doubt your ability to write romance stories at all.
Fic: A Marvelous Day Author: ModdieFox Grade: F- Review: This fanfic is a big empty template that someone put a raridash sticker onto. Any character could be switched out and it wouldn't make a difference. There's no story, no build-up and nothing in this carries any weight or consequence. Everything feels hollow and manufactured. A loveless, soulless entry.
This needed to be longer (less exposition, more anticipation) and the narration should've followed either Rarity's or Rainbow's internal monologue about the ups and downs in their relationship that eventually lead them to getting married. Big pay-offs like weddings aren't satisfying if we don’t know the struggle.
Fic: Those Wedding Belle Rainbows Author: Tangerine Blast Grade: G Review: I'm at a loss for words... This is a story that relies itself on the stupidity of its characters to push itself forward. Usually I don't mind stupid characters if it's there to make them cute, but in this fanfic it exist for no other reason than to create unnecessary conflicts. The lack of common sense makes every character insufferable and every action taken and every piece of dialogue spoken are annoying and borders on infuriating. The story has no direction and spirals itself into meandering filler. The author couldn't even be bother to write an ending for this clustergack and instead he just copy&pastes a scene from Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean and calls it a day (no, I'm not joking). 
I have nothing else to say other than this is the worst raridash fanfic I've ever read in my life. This isn't your everyday kind of failure... This is advanced failure! This deserves a grade lower than F so I hereby award it with the special rating of G (standing for garbage). Kudos.
Disqualified entires:
Fic: Guiding Light Author: Gesstalt Grade: Disqualified (Doesn't follow a prompt) Review: This story tries way too hard to be poetic and mysterious, but due to its brief length it just comes off as unnecessary filler. It feels like someone opened up a book, ripped out a single page from it and presented it as a full story. Everything is vague and cryptic and you can't make sense of anything. Elements are presented with the implications that they have greater meaning but it never amounts to anything and everything just feels pointless.
Fic: Love Eternal Author: RDFan27 Grade: Disqualified (Doesn't follow a prompt) Review: In this story Rainbow Dash enters Rarity's boutique and stands still. It's a pretty ingenious concept, I gotta say! Think about it, Rainbow Dash likes sports so naturally she likes to move around, but because she likes Rarity so much she's willing to go against her nature and stand still!! It's the peak of romance!!! 
Sarcasm aside, this fanfic fails to be creative at every turn. Stories with this premise have been written over 300+ times, going back as far as 2011. I didn't like them back then and I don't like them now. This story's only redeeming factor is its ending which threw me into a laughing fit, though that wasn't a feat of writing as much as it was timing.
🌟 Those were all the stories! 🌟
Thanks to everyone who participated, hope you all had fun! Sorry if you didn't win, but not everybody have what it takes to be the best. I hope you found my critic helpful and that it'll go a long way to help improve your future stories!
If you found some of these ratings were unfair, tough cookie! This is a contest and it's not my job to hold your hand. If you don't understand the mechanics of basic story telling or just can't be bothered to write a sincere story, then you only have your own incompetence to blame. Get good or get bent, loser! 🎷
Let’s hear another round of applauses for @patchworkpoltergeist​ amazing story! 👏👏👏 Wooooo~ 
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40K factions and you
Space Marines:
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Your favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla, but occasionally you might try some Neapolitan, if you’re feeling dangerous. You’re faction’s lore is designed from the ground up to accept your self-inserts, and the models are some of the easiest to paint in the entire range. None of this matters because no matter how unique you think your super-cool “realistic marines who use real tactics maaaaan” are they’ll always come out looking like a slight variation of the ones below
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8th edition has finally allowed you to feel a tiny sliver of the unbalanced and over-costed hell other factions have been stuck in for years, but unlike them, daddy GW is more than willing to spend a little extra on his bulky good bois so they still get all the coolest gear and lore. Like vanilla, small children love them, but they grow out of both eventually. 
edit: it was only a matter of time before GW stamped its foot down and made the inevitable decision that its favorite kid needs to be busted again. Then again in all fairness they toned down their overpoweredness from “godlike” to merely “demi-godlike” 
Imperial Guard:
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You’re a big “history fan”. You’ve seen Enemy at the Gates, watched some history channel shows about Nazi wonder weapons, and make 54 karma post on r/history_memes recycling debunked Eastern Front jokes. Only your intelligent eye is able to conflate this factions obvious Metal Slug levels of cartoonish design and tactics with realism, and you make sure to remind everyone else of said realism by comparing your tabletop exploits to your military experience in the reserves. Everyone used to like you back when the faction was actually made up of underdogs and under appreciated, but the Guant’s Ghosts references have gotten kinda stale, and no one appreciates the brass balls of these Starship Trooper knockoffs now that 8th edition supports and rewards the very same mindless horde tactics the Guard used to be mocked for in Lore. Despite having some of the most tried and true designs in the game, as well as an incredible amount of options, you will quickly find how limiting the only “realistic” army is in terms of customization and paint schemes, as anything but camo, grey, or tan looks goofy and reveals how silly this faction actually is. 
edit: If your army consists of wrapping 30 guardsmen around basilisks I recommend you take a short fall down a long flight of stairs. Fuck you, Evan.
Eldar:
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You’re a real shooter. You know what you like and you stick with it, cause lets face it, it takes a lot of loyalty to stick with these arrogant pricks. Their designs are unique but dated, their lore is a uneven mishmash of 40k grimdark schmultz Tolkien telephone, and Oliver Twist-esque whipping bois for whenever GW writers need to remind us how cool Space Marines are. But none of that matters because you know the truth: Eldar can kick tons of ass on the board, and look good doing it, as their unique designs lends them to all sorts of brilliant color combinations
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And unlike other armies their rare design updates improve on their aesthetic while keeping their 40k-ness, something that is becoming increasingly rare in this era of Tacticool marines and Fantasy-creep. Just don’t expect to be taken seriously by anyone but the old-heads.
Edit: Leave it to the whipping bois to be outshined in their own event and get a single model update. Thanks GW, very cool. 
Dark Eldar
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You are one of two people: a meta hopping smooth brain who only jumped ship once these guys got one of the best updates in 40k history, or a true intellectual who understood their hidden merit all along. Other faction players like to make fun of you for being edgy, when in reality you know that the Dark Eldar are just a bunch of sociopathic theater kids. They, like you, know how fucked from top to bottom this universe is, and instead of getting depressed they exclaimed “how can we be the best cartoon villains we can be?”. Despite having a relatively bare army list, the fact that these d-bags come in 3 flavors of crazy in a single army offers a ton of variety: the mustache twirling villainy of the Kabals, the crazy bloodstained snuff-stars of the Wych cults, and the BDSM horror show of the Covens. All three offer substantial benefits and drawbacks and must be played carefully in order t- 
Who am I kidding? You’re just gonna stuff  a bunch of Kabal warriors into Venoms and zoom around the map, aren’t you? Enjoy that speed, because your abysmal save stats wont protect you anything more than a furiously thrown walnut. At least your corpses will look rad clad in some of the grimest armor and gear in the game. 
edit: no longer anywhere near as dominent as they were in the earlier years of 8th, but they still look slick as hell and play great. 
Orks
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Your IQ randomly jumps from 20 to 200 throughout the day. There is no predicting this, no planning around this, no stopping this. You’re best bet is just to go along with it, and that’s why you play Orks. Orks are roudy good-time buddies who love slapstick slaughter, not having thoughts, and occasionally pulling of cunning plans that human savants would struggle to comprehend. Orks seem to be the only faction that know what joy is, which is why you as a player spread it to everyone else. Yes, the memes and screaming can be a bit much to others sometimes, but like with any other mentally handicapped child  everyone around just grits their teeth through your bad episodes if it means not upsetting your unique sensibilities. And considering that this army’s aesthetic revolves around cobbled together nonsense, you have a lot of uniqueness to give. Orks are easily the most creative faction in the game when it comes to conversions. Nothing is too goofy, too dumb, or too silly to scrap together. As for performance on the tabletop? Go ham. This is an army that rewards merry bullshit and randomness. Remember, you didn’t pick Orks to win, you picked them to have fun. 
edit: So are Orks actually getting anything or what? GW’s plans for this faction is as chaotic as the minds of the ADHD scrambled minds who play them
Necrons
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You have a very specific taste in... funky weird-science space Egyptians. Seriously, these guys are practically a completely different army to what they were a decade ago. Gone are the terminator references and eldritch lore nonsense, and here to stay is senility and glyphs. You lie to yourself, saying that you’re not really sure why you chose Necrons, but I know the truth: you chose them because they used to be busted. They used to be unfair. They used to be able to take out top-tier tanks with their version of pea shooters and come back after every turn. So overwhelmed were you by their dazzeling stats and bullshit cheese your brain’s wiring fried and the erratic firing of billions of flayed neurons made you think Necrons had cool lore and interesting models. But now they’ve been nerfed to hell, and you’re no longer stuck in that lasting state of sensory overload. Like a drunk snapping awake with a hangover you come to the painful reality: Necrons are kind of dull. So like me, you put them away in a shoebox forever, leaving their fragile sculpts to slowly fall apart.
Edit: FUCK WHERE IS THE SHOEBOX WHERE DID I LEAVE IT OH GOD OH OH NO OH FUCK THEY’RE ALL BROKEN MAYBE I CAN PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER BEFORE 9th EDITION LAUNCHES I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER I NEED YOU, I NEED MY BOOOOOOOOYS!!!
Tau
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You will forever be hated by the community unfairly. You are accuse being anime - and this is true - yet the Eldar get away with being copied wholesale from 80′s space anime and no one seems to notice. You are made fun of for your bad melee, despite having one of the most comprehensively designed niches in an otherwise sloppy game and dominating with nearly every edition. You are made fun of for your lore, despite being largely separate from the cliches and story traps that everyone else has fallen into. You are hated because you are different; hated because you are Asian. 
Tau are an anomaly in 40k: a completely new faction that wasn’t directly ripped off of some other franchise and with an aesthetic that is wholly their own. I won’t be making fun of them because they get enough of that, and you don’t deserve it. Just know this dirty secret: Tau outsell almost every other xenos faction, and despite the supposedly unanimous hate are probably one of the strongest factions in terms of play-style and modelling in the franchise. 
Edit: The tau are grittier than ever, happy now? They still do the same thing they have always done anyways.
Chaos
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Unlike the DE you actually are edgy. You worship satan, you throw rocks at homeless people, you start fires because your dad doesn’t spank you enough. Chaos are the closest things that this cluster fuck of a universe can get to being the main villains. Their lore is at once intricate and stupid, both childish and metal as hell. You play chaos because getting your fingers pricked by the models’ spikes is the closest you can come to feeling anything anymore. Just like the chaos lore you love to hype yourself up, to puff your chest and revel in the darkness inside, but when confronted you tend to fold like wet tissue paper. You’ve stopped playing public games with these guys, because the other players don’t understand you and abuse the meta and make fun of your painting skills and  everything is so unfair and don’t you think that chaos marines should get buffs for their points cost, fuck?
Edit: The new models are slick and more power-metal minivan than ever, though the rules are still abysmal despite GW desperately wanting everyone to takes these guys seriously for once. 
Sisters of Battle
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GW writers and designers hates Catholics and they hate women, so naturally they hate Sister of Battl. They also hate you for playing them. Because of this SoB are a monument to neglected potential. They have one of the best female armor designs in fiction, great lore, and an interesting playstyle that relies on faith/determination based feats of strength and valor... but GW hate Catholics and women, so SoB get shafted everywhere all the time. More often than not you will be disappointed reading about their exploits as they continually get unfairly slaughtered, corrupted into the horny service of the pervert god, or used as receptacles for blood-based paint when the writer’s favorite faction needs to fight demons. With no plastic models in sight for over a decade everyone began to come to the slow and dreadful realization that GW was looking to Squat our favorite estrogen warriors, until a new revamp was announced. Unfortunately the beta rules look as lackluster as ever, but that’s fine, because as a SoB fan you have learned to expect that GW hates you, Catholics, and women. 
Edit: GW found God and got woke because now they love women and Jesus’ one true Church, but let it be known that reformation doesn’t occur overnight, as the SOB’s faces still betray GW’s lingering discomfort in the female form:
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Their rules are fun, and if every codex was designed like it 40k might actually be a fun game
Tyranids
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nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom no- and that’s it that’s the Tyranids. I don’t know anything about them besides that, and neither do you, cause that’s their lore. Yes they have cool models, but next to no reliable updates. I’ll pray for you.  
Edit: it really looks like GW has just completely forgotten about you poor souls huh? The Night King, a character who is closely associated with the totally-not-reconned-Tyranid-invasion, comes back and not one word about you guys. They don’t even actively hate you like, say, they hate the Eldar. It’s just... apathy. 
Grey Knights
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HAHA AHAHAHAHA HA HA UHAHAHA HAHAAHAHAAHAH HAHA ha ha Ah......... he. hehahaaaAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
edit: I hope you all realize that Grey Knights are far too specialized in fighting the permanently under performing forces of chaos to be 40ks “elite among elite.”  You and your entire faction has been made completely obsolescent by the Custodes. The rough times will continue, say hi to the Squats in heaven will you?
Custodes
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You are either insufferably full of yourself or a fine practitioner of the model making craft. Most likely though you are neither, and you picked them because you only need gold and red paint to make them look good. Custodes are the space marine’s space marines, and they’re better than you and everyone else. period. At least in lore. On the table their incredible individual stats and elite status are reflected in points cost, so for most large games you will be fielding what amounts to any other faction’s skirmishing army. Unfortunately, since 40k is a stat-sheet battler that favors raw bulk of rolls and stats over the quality of them, you’d be hard-pressed to do well in any serious game. However, for the luminous of mind, the small size is a blessing in disguise since you don’t need to buy and paint as many units as the other armies, and no matter how hard the guard player trashes you his 50 unpainted manlets will never look as good as your 15 gloriously crafted golden Chads. Stick to smaller games, and the individual strength of each model will make up for the glaring absence caused by their loss.
Ironically enough despite being an elite faction from a relatively obscure part of 40k lore, these attributes make Custodes the perfect casual player’s faction. It is my personal theory that if GW didn’t grossly inflate their prices to such a high degree everyone would have a Custodes army. 
Oh yeah, Henry Cavil plays these guys, because of course he does. 
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makotokino · 5 years
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sunguard - one year
It’s mind boggling to me to realize that I’ve been back in WoW for over a year. When I left at the beginning of WoD, I was pretty certain I was never coming back. The game had lost a lot of love in my heart, partially because of personal circumstances but overall, I was burnt out. BFA’s trailer brought me back in November of 2017, and I spent some time on the outskirts until I poked my head into S.O.S. While the experience was great, I do have some mixed feelings on it now - but one thing I am grateful for is that it brought me to the Sunguard.
This past year has been an absolute boon for me in a lot of ways. Being a member in Sunguard has challenged me creatively, and looking back over my writings last year to now - I can already see an improvement. Not just in how I write, either, but how I create. I spend so much time brainstorming with stories I love, and that’s lead to so much more creativity even outside of Warcraft writing. I’ve started writing original content again, I’ve picked up painting; I’m excited to challenge myself in the future because I feel confident and creative. For someone who has struggled with creativity and especially feeling confidence in my work, this is so wonderful.
Y’all have given me a place to create and express my characters, to grow their stories. So many parts of Sanarissa - a character I’ve been writing for eight years - have grown into something more nuanced, complex, and interesting. I’ve also had the opportunity to create more characters who I love, which I’ve never really done before - being someone who focused only on my main.
So I wanted to say thanks - to everyone I communicate with, write with, and share the experience of TSG with on a daily basis. I also have a few special thank you’s because I’m a giant sap. But for now, thank y’all for this amazing year and I can’t wait for more.
The Officer Corp, with special thanks to Felth @felthier, Jess @jessipalooza, Mel @stormandozone, and Azzy @azriah: From the first moment applying to the Sunguard, the officers made me feel welcome and wanted. That was a huge thing for me. Along the way, y’all have always been supportive, attentive, and nice to talk to. Especially the four of you I mentioned, I feel like I can always come to at least one of you with questions or concerns. So thank you, for making the guild a great place for not only me but everyone else - and for always being there to answer my (sometimes) dumbass questions. Not to mention y’all inspire me so much with your work.
Tiah / @forever-afk: Tiah, you are one of the reasons I joined TSG to begin with. Between you and Thomas after S.O.S., that’s really what pushed me forward. I know we haven’t gotten to RP in a loooong time due to our own lives not meshing, but I’m still so glad Sana and Vaelrin are buddies.
Aimee / @thanidiel: I know we don’t talk super often but I am very glad to have you around to jabber at, get advice and critique from, and joke around with. Having you around during S.O.S. was a boon, and I’ve enjoyed being able to make old MG veterans memes with you sometimes. You inspire me so much to be a better writer, creator, roleplayer, dude.
Cari / @retributionpriest: So I was devastated when Lirelle died without ever really getting the chance to interact, besides like one social event with a couple sentences, because of my own Anxiete. But I am soooo so so so glad that we’ve started talking and roleplaying a little back and forth. Being able to chat with you over Elementalist stuff and the brief RP we’ve been able to do has been so fun. I look forward to so much more in the future.
Harm / @thelaughingvulture: Fave Light cultist, bar none. But honestly, Brae is such an interesting character and I love her and despite the constant Brea/Brae confusion, I am glad we’ve gotten to talk and RP more over the last few weeks. I’m SAD that Sana is a traitor again, but the interactions we are keeping were so good - plus we’ll have bards we can write, or Light nerds. I’m super excited to keep on truckin as your buddy.
Veli / @ocarina-of-what: Hi. I love you. RP with me at some point. No, but really, having gotten to know you a little bit over the past few weeks has been absolutely incredible. You’re such a gem and a darling, I love you to pieces already. I hope we get to know each other much better AND ACTUALLY GET TO RP SOON. LOVE YOU.
Matt / @captainswingbeard: Hello, I know I’m a horribly slow RP partner, but your kind words and genuine interest in my stories are so wonderful and great. I was soooo surprised when you took interest in wanting to RP with me but it’s been so fun and interesting. I love reading your stories and I’m so interested in how everything will play out for the Old Man. And I swear, I’ll reply soon (unless I already have because I wrote this ahead of time - ha!)
Larry / @trained-trainwreck: I genuinely cannot like, preface enough how much your friendship means to me. You are one of my best TSG buddies and you mean a lot to me. We are Team Southern America and that’s important to me to have someone who comes from a similar background and history that I can share my experiences with. On top of that, being able to write with you is one of my favorite things, despite us not having much time to do so. Larry and Sana’s parallels are so interesting and I’m sorry she has yet again betrayed his trust. Also, I love big murder boy and I swear, at some point, I will be able to accept your invitation to level in ESO together.
Jase / @veloestian: Hey. You mean a lot to me. I know I communicate to you in gently bullying terms a lot, but you’re a dear friend to me. I love writing with you even though I’m slow and a horrible partner. You were the first person I wrote Melori with and so much of her grew from the interactions we had early on. You help me feel better when I’m sad and you send me dumb memes and I love that. You’re a good bean and I cherish you.
Gibby / @please-respond: Bridge troll or not, you are like my brother. My horrible gremlin brother who I sometimes want to kill, but brother nonetheless. Our relationship has been based a lot more off of friendship than RP, which makes me sad sometimes - but I’m glad we’re getting to RP and write together. I love the things you create, I love the opportunities you’ve given me towards my character arc for Sana, and I’m thankful for all the advice and talks we’ve had. Thank you.
Archer / @pyrosophist: Hey. Hey Archer. Hi. You’re my favorite fetus in the universe probably. I am so, so honored and consider myself truly lucky to count you as one of my closest RP partners. Of course, I can talk about Team Fel and how much I have loved seeing them grow from enemies to tenuous allies to friends to lovers to ENEMIES AGAIN, how much their natural, organic growth has fascinated me, how much their parallels hurt my soul, how much I enjoy writing them with you and what will come of it in the future.
But there’s so much more than that. It’s become routine to just talk to you everyday, about creation and headcanons and ideas - you have such a creative energy and you inspire me by even being near you. Digging into headcanons and character work with you and throwing ideas at the wall to see what sticks has quickly become one of the highlights of my day; right alongside of planning what kind of stupid shit we can do in roll20. I even love hurling stupid pinterest posts and songs at you, it’s all part of the friendship.
Being able to share lore, ideas, AU’s, and RP with you means so much to me. You’ve made such an impact on my time in the Sunguard, and I can’t thank you for that enough. I can’t wait to see the storylines you unfold, now and in the future, and be there to experience them. Also, you always draw me wonderful things and I cry a lot.
Thomas / @jonathan-nevermore-smith: I had to save you for last, goober. From the moment we started writing together a year ago, I knew that I was in for something special. Writing Ash and Sana with you has been a rollercoaster that I have been happy to be on, even now. They mean so much to me. You’ve given me so much opportunity to revisit and grow the character that I love so much.
But it isn’t just Sana. Because of your brilliant ideas, I’ve gotten to create multiple characters that I love and adore. It was your urging that pushed me to make Melori a fully-formed, true character. It was your fanon lore that brought me Zaerise. You’ve always encouraged my ideas and thoughts, even when I thought they were extra. You’re always excited to talk with me about things - and that means so much to me.
You’ve let me take a lot of your fanon and just run with it. Being able to work out the religion, culture, and history of the Ridges - its customs and what makes it tick - has been such a fulfilling thing for me to do. Not to mention the Coven, and how much I love and adore them and all that you’ve let me do with your inkling of an idea.
You’re way more than an RP partner though. You are one of my best friends. Talking to you everyday just feels like part of the routine - always have to check in and talk with Thomas. You’ve become such a common point of reference in my life. You share my Hulu account with the real life squad. You’ve been there for me in some of my hardest points this year; you’ve listened to me cry, heard me drunk, and you’ve been there for me every moment in between.  I’m more thankful for you than I can easily put into words. So thank you, Thomas, for a year of amazing friendship and roleplay, and here’s to so many more.
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